Looking for Love in all the Wrong Faces
Fluttershy does live in Ponyville, right?
"Right. I can do this." The pony adjusted the black cloak, looking into town. "Find Fluttershy. Woo her. That's easy enough. Right?"
There wasn't any reply.
"Right. Just gotta... go in and find her. Distinctive name. Fluttershy. Not likely to be confused with anyone, right? Right." The red pony nodded, absently running a dark hoof through their mane black and red mane. "Your whole life has been building up to this moment. Literally. You can do this. Just go in, and woo Fluttershy. Yep. That's what we're going to do. Here we go. Right now. Yes. Let's do this thing. Here we go. This second. Yep. Just going into Ponyville, finding one particular pony, and wooing her. Everything depends on it."
Pale orchid eyes stared at the buildings. Red feathered wings stretched nervously.
"Here we go here we go, come on, come on, just move. It's easy. Walk in. I can walk. One hoof in front of the other."
With a gulp, the tall pony started down the hill.
"This... looks like a fancy house. Fluttershy likes fancy things. She has to live here!" Scarlet nodded, knocking on the door.
The mare that swung it open was a vision of gorgeousness. "Hello, and welcome to the Carousel Boutique, where everything is chique, unique, and magnifique!" She opened her eyes. "I--oh! Oh my, I do apologize. I didn't know royalty was visiting."
Scarlet blinked, looking around. "Royalty? Where?"
The white unicorn tittered. "And a sense of humor at that! Do come in, ah...?"
The red pony followed in after her awkwardly, his eyes brushing over the large number of clothes modeled around the room.
"Ahem." The mare cleared her throat expectantly.
"Oh. Yes." The red pony waved. "Hello."
"....Hello, darling. What's your name?"
"My name? My name. Oh, my name! It's uh..." The red pony glanced at their wings. "Scarlet... um... bra?"
"...Scarlet Umbra."
"Yes. That is my name. Scarlet Umbra." A sudden realization hit them, and they rolled their hoof in a bow. "It is of course my humble honor to be in your presence, madam."
"And it is ever so nice to meet an... equine as yourself." The mare's smile grew sly. "I suppose you must be distracted, what with the changes to your body."
The newly named Scarlet started. "You--you know about that?"
"It's obvious, darling. After all, I know all the alicorns in Equestria personally--well, all the known ones." She gestured at them. "I take it your ascension is recent?"
"Ah. Yes? This is all so new to me." Scarlet tried to put on a winning smile. "But if I were to find somebody who could help me... examine... my new form, I would be most grateful."
"Well, fortunately for you, I happen to be an excellent seamstress. Not only can I help you, I can provide you with an entirely new wardrobe!"
"Why thank you, miss Fluttershy."
The white mare frowned. "My name is Rarity."
Scarlet blinked. "Oh. It... it is."
"Yes. Fluttershy lives on the outskirts of Ponyville."
"Oh. Ah." The red pony managed to clear their throat. "This is... awkward then."
Rarity tilted her head. "Why are you--"
"It was very nice meeting you miss Rarity but there's something I really have to do gotta run bye now!" Scarlet Umbra rushed out the door, almost tripping on their cloak and leaving a very confused unicorn in their wake.
"Stupid, stupid stupid! Ask their name, you've got to ask the name!" The red pony took a breath. "Alright. Alright, you got out of there before it got heated."
Scarlet Umbra looked up from their walk. "And this farm seems to be on the outskirts... and there's a mare over there. Right, here we go, don't forget to ask the name." Clearing their throat, the red pony strode over to the orange mare beneath the apple trees.
"Oh! Howdy there... uh... friend!" The orange pony kicked a trunk, causing apples to rain from the branches above. "What brings ya out ta Sweet Apple Acres?"
"Oh, I'm looking for somebody named Fluttershy. Might you be her?"
The mare chuckled. "Nah, Shy's a pegasus. Mah name's Applejack. What's yours?"
"Scarlet Umbra."
Applejack quirked a brow. "Int'restin' name there. Ya pick it afor or after ya became an alicorn?"
"After, actually. My original name is... really kind of something I'd like to keep private, if you catch my drift."
"Ah getcha. Best not ta get the media on yer private life." Applejack rolled her eyes. "We had ta beat away reporters daily for a whole month after Twi got her wings."
"...'got her wings?'"
"Yep. She was a unicorn afor she ascended." The mare peered at Scarlet. "What, ya didn't hear about that?"
"I'm not from... around here." The red pony rubbed the back of their head. "So this Twi had a horn before?"
"She still does," Applejack noted in a flat tone of voice. "Alicorn. All three tribes rolled into one."
"Right. Right!" Scarlet brought a hoof to their head, hesitantly feeling out the horn on it. "Oh, yeah. I should have... I'm... going to go, look for Fluttershy. Super important, you know."
With a too-wide grin, they galloped off, running away from Applejack's increasingly suspicious gaze.
"Pegasus. Okay, a pegasus, that should be--" Scarlet froze, putting a hoof to their face. "I should have asked for directions! Why didn't I ask for directions?"
"Uh, you okay there?"
Scarlet looked up, noting a blue mare hovering in the air--and staring at her impossible rainbow mane. "Ah! You're a pegasus, aren't you?"
"Yep! Name's Rainbow Dash!"
The red pony nodded. "Of course it is."
"So, uh... look, are you a stallion or a mare? I can't tell."
Scarlet Umbra's lips clamped tightly together. Without another word, they started to walk away.
"Whoa, hey! What'd I say?" Rainbow Dash flew alongside them. "Look, you're an alicorn, right? All the alicorns I know are princesses, and you are wearing that bow--looks wicked awesome on you by the way--but you kinda look different, so--"
"No."
"What?"
"The answer to your question is no."
"....what?"
"No, I am not a mare or a stallion."
"Oh. Wait, what?" Rainbow narrowed her eyes. "What are you then, a changeling?"
Scarlet blinked. "A what?"
"A changeling! The shapeshifting bug ponies that invaded Canter--okay, so if you're not a changeling, and you're not a mare, and you're not a stallion, what are you?"
"I am Scarlet Umbra, I am a pony, and unless you know where Fluttershy is I am done with this conversation."
"Oh, she went into town to get groceries. I've never heard of a pony that wasn't a mare or a stallion. So... what do I call you, then?"
"I've told you my name."
"Yeah, yeah, but I mean--"
"Do you not have anywhere else to be, miss Dash?"
Rainbow rolled her eyes. "Fine. Tetchy..." She buzzed off, leaving Scarlet to storm into town, muttering curses under their breath.
Scarlet was aware they were drawing a few stares, but by this point they didn't care. All they had to do was find one pegasus, woo her, and it would all be alright.
Yep.
One pegasus among... twenty? Thirty?
The red pony gave an exasperated groan, beating their head against a wall. "How am I supposed to find Fluttershy in all of this."
"You're looking for Fluttershy? Ohmygosh that's so weird, I'm looking for her too!"
Scarlet Umbra turned and--his world consumed by pink.
"I mean I'm just looking for her because I know she knows a lot about animals like a lot a lot and Gummy's kinda getting tetchy and I thought hey maybe she could help me figure out what's wrong and then I realized that's kind of reducing her to a single trait I mean I like being called a party pony but I'm not just a party pony you know I'm also an engineer and a baker and a mare and a babysitter and an adventurer and really I'm a real renaissance pony when you think about it but that doesn't mean I'm stuck in that time I like new ideas as much as I like new ponies and OHMYGOSH you're a new pony!"
"Um--" Scarlet Umbra blinked as the pink... thing vanished and reappeared with a cannon. "Whoa! Miss, I'm sure we can--"
The crazy pink mare pressed a button, and the red pony wrenched their eyes shut. There was a bang, the sound of kazoos, and...
"Welcome welcome welcome, a fine welcome to you! Welcome welcome welcome and how is it you do! Welcome to Ponyville, welcome to you from me! Here's your greeting cake, it's absolutely free!"
Scarlet opened one eye. The pink mare was holding a slice of cake out on her hoof.
They stared at her for a moment or two.
"...What's with the cannon?"
"Oh that's my party cannon. It shoots parties. As ammunition."
Scarlet took in the absolutely guileless face, glanced around at the entire non-reaction of the populace, and hesitantly nibbled at the cake. "This... tastes nice."
"I know! I would have made something more personal but I've only just met you! I'm Pinkie Pie. What's your name?"
"Scarlet Umbra."
Pinkie frowned. "You know that means 'Red Shadow,' right?"
"I... do now!" Scarlet chuckled vaguely. "Look, can you just point me at Fluttershy?"
"Okey-doke. I wonder where--oh there she is!" Pinkie jumped onto Scarlet's back and started waving. "HEY! FLUTTERSHY! OVER HERE! A HOT GENDER-AMBIGUOUS ALICORN WANTS TO TALK TO YOU!"
Scarlet winced, only partially from the weight of the pony standing on them. "Well... that's a nice way to introduce me, I suppose..."
A yellow mare emerged from the crowd. "Pinkie Pie, what have we said about shouting things across crowds?"
"You and the girls told me not to point out pony's flaws. And I didn't! Scarlet Umbra is hot, and also gender ambiguous!" Pinkie leaned over Scarlet's head. "That's what the neck-thingy you're wearing means, right?"
"...It's a bit broader then that," Scarlet allowed, "but yes, I don't identify as male or female."
Fluttershy nodded. "I've heard of such things. Usually from my animal friends, but... well, anyway. It's good to meet you, Scarlet."
"And it is such a relief--a pleasure! A pleasure to finally meet you as well, Fluttershy!" Scarlet tried to bow, but was unbalanced by the pink mare standing on their back and ended up tripping. "Ooop! Ow. Um."
"Oh dear. Are you--are you alright?"
Scarlet sighed. "At this point I don't think I'm going to woo you any time soon."
"Woo her?" Pinkie Pie hopped off. "Why do you want to woo Fluttershy, you just met her!"
Scarlet put on an awkward grin. "Because she is an incredible pony and I've been crushing on her for a while...?"
The two of them stared at the red pony for a couple of moments.
Scarlet sighed. "Because if I fail to woo Fluttershy before midnight, I stop existing."
"Alright. Let me see if I've got this straight."
Twilight pointed at Scarlet. "You made a deal with a demon, of some sort. They promised to give you a new life, complete with a new form--why are you an alicorn, by the way?"
The red pony shrugged. "No idea, but the demon was laughing. Could be a cruel prank."
"...Right. Anyway. You were sent to Equestria, in the form of an alicorn, and told you could live here--but if you fail to woo Fluttershy before midnight, your soul is forfeit."
"Yes."
"What in the world could make you think that was a good idea?!"
The red pony's eyes grew distant. "I'd rather not talk about it."
"I could go on a date with Scarlet," Fluttershy managed. "Does that count?"
"Demons are notoriously strict in their wording. He has to woo you..."
Twilight paused.
"...was that the exact word? Woo?"
Scarlet nodded. "Woo."
"WOOO!" Pinkie added, throwing up her hooves.
"Woo." Twilight nodded, walking over to a bookshelf and pulling out a book. "Woo.... Woo.... ah, here we are. The definitions of Woo."
The red pony's ears perked. "Definitions?"
"Definition one: to seek the favor, affection, or love of, especially with a view to marriage." Twilight looked up. "I hate to say it, but Fluttershy doesn't seem to be one who would like to be pushed into a relationship."
Fluttershy nodded. "I'm not a dating kind of pony."
"Definition two: to seek to win."
"Ooo! A competition with Fluttershy as the prize!" Pinkie paused. "Wait, but what kind of competition would even be fair?"
"Not many. Scarlet's only been a pony for a few hours, even if they are an alicorn."
Scarlet nodded. "Thank you for proper pronoun usage."
"Yes, well... Definition three: To invite by one's own action. Possible, but you can't really do that with a non-abstract noun, which Fluttershy is. Definition four: To seek to persuade." Twilight clapped the book shut. "There you are then, you have to persuade Fluttershy of something."
Scarlet blinked. "...That's it?"
"That's it."
"Oh." Scarlet blinked. "Ah.... Fluttershy?"
"Yes?"
"Cheesy foods are the best."
Fluttershy nodded. "Alright. Convince me."
