Dear Prince Best Big Brother Friends Forever Shining Armour of the Crystal Empire;
I regret to inform you that, due to a rather unforeseen circumstance relating to a certain cup of tea that I may, or may not have allowed Starlight Glimmer to make for us, none of the princesses will be available to watch Princess Flurry Heart tonight.
We all extend our deepest apologies. Cadance and I both know how important that Championship Trifle Delight Belt is to you, thus we have included a—AHH! Luna! Aim into the bucket, into the bucket!
No. The bucket.
That’s not a bucket.
Okay, look here, let me show you. Hold onto this, Spike.
What? No, the letter’s fine. Just send it when you think you’re ready.
Shining Armour stood in the middle of the kitchen, frowning down at the folded and stained page between his hooves. He held Princess Flurry Heart pinned against his side, holding her firm as he struggled to keep her from escaping.
“Gah!” Flurry giggled gaily. Wriggling against his shoulder, she reached up and grabbed hold of his ears, yanking them down hard, and making the prince wince as she used them like the handles of a jungle gym.
Shining strained to keep his head level, doing his best to ignore her for the time being as he turned the letter over in his hooves. It was stained and smeared with the chunks of some kind of green substance—one he had a sneaking suspicion he didn’t want to find out what it was. The other side was blank, and the envelope was empty—so no signs of whatever his sister had meant to include.
“Mhhf,” Shining huffed and discarded the letter. He patted Flurry Heart on the back, pulled her away from his face, and moved her to hold against his chest as he strolled around the kitchen. “Okay, no big deal,” he muttered to himself, “I just have to make pudding and watch Flurry Heart.” He paused, looking down to the foal in his arms, and pouted. “Isn’t that right? You’re going to help daddy make Fudge Almond Delight, aren’t you?” He cooed, “Cootchy-cootchy-coo,” and made baby faces as he ticked Flurry under the chin
“Ya! Ha-haha!” She squirmed and wriggled, shying away from his hoof as she giggled in delight.
“Okay, let’s get started.” Shining let her be as he carried her with him around the kitchen. The first things they needed were the implements and ingredients. He lit his horn and Flurry Heart went silent—caught in awe at the sparking glow. She watched with wide-eyed fascination as Shining opened two cabinet doors and levitated out a large mixing bowl and jug.
They set themselves down on the crystal counter-top, alongside a bag of flour, some eggs, a lime, and a carton of milk from the fridge. He then called over a spoon from the drawer, which he hoofed over to Flurry Heart to keep her occupied whilst he worked, and picked up some measuring cups from the cupboard.
“Yaya!” Flurry squealed with delight, waving the spoon around and smacked Shining in the head, then brought it up to her mouth to begin chewing on the handle when she saw Shining glaring down at her.
Meanwhile, Shining Armour trotted around the island in the middle of the kitchen, checking that he had everything. “Okay,” he spoke out loud and grabbed a packet of nuts from the pantry as he passed, depositing them with the other ingredients. “Daddy has eggs, milk, flour, nuts, some lime for the zest. All that’s missing is some—” he facehoofed.
There wasn’t any fudge. He’d ordered them last week, of course, but the delivery was running late because of some incident in Canterlot that gummed up all of the major trade routes. Nopony in their right mind would even think about making Fudge Almond Delight without fudge, which meant he had only one option.
“Okay.” He set Flurry Heart down next to the milk. The filly simply sat there, kicking her legs, and giggling. Then she stopped, and snapped up to watch with wide eyes as her daddy crept away. “Daddy will be right back,” Shining Armour waved as he back away, “You be a good little princess and watch the kitchen whilst he pops out to the grocery store.”
~ ~ ~
“This just in: There has been an explosion at the Crystal Empire.”
Princess Twilight Sparkle was sitting upright in bed, her back rested against a stack of pillows, the sheets crumpled around her greyed body, an icepack resting against her horn, and a large empty bucket clutched against her chest. Her face shone bright green and she was desperately looking for an out to forget her troubles when she decided she’d might as well try some TV.
Of course, she was not even ten minutes in when she was interrupted by an Equestrian News segment. A beige news pony, Bulletin Board, was standing in front of a smouldering crater in front of what, if she weren’t so feverish, Twilight might have mistaken for the yard in front of her brother’s castle. He was there interviewing one of the castle guards. “Tell me”—he held his microphone over to the stallion—“have you identified the source of the explosion?”
“No. Though we have our suspicions that it may have originated in the kitchen area, all we’ve been able to find so far is this foal.” He gestured to a small, black alicorn filly cradled between his hooves, wrapped in a deep blue thermal blanket—almost like a vest. She was absolutely delighted, giggling and squealing, kicking her hooves and flapping her wings, smearing traces of soot all over the armoured stallion as she did so.
“Baba-wah!”
He continued, “We have yet to identify the parent, but I assure you, when we do, he will be facing severe consequences.”
Twilight snorted loudly, her muzzle scrunching up as she levitated another tissue over from her night-stand. She flashed her horn; turning off the television whilst she blew her nose, then tossed the soiled tissue into her bucket and rolled her eyes. “I swear; parents these days.”
