HORSEMASK!!! In Equestria

With a saunter that rivalled Deadpool himself, a man in a simple, yet very pleasing suit, and wearing an astonishingly beautiful rendition of a horse in mask form, walked past the parking lot outside the large building, which seemed to contain a convention. In hands was an ornate pipe, which he would bring up to his mouth as he exhaled the previous puff of smoke. With his very being emanating pure, unadulterated swagger, he walked straight past the guard, who looked at him in sheer jealousy.

"You can't smoke that in here, sir," The horseman stopped and the mask flopped towards the guard in a manner that simply spoke, HOW DARE YOU CHALLENGE ME, MORTAL. He reached slowly towards the side of his suit, and slipped his hand into one of the inner pockets. With a simple flick of a sheet of paper, the horse man stared at the guard. He passed it to the guard and continued walking.

In a simple, but elegant script, was a singular picture of a cartoon man in a red suit, quite clearly it was Spiderman, and said naught but Will you kindly fuck off? The guard scoffed, crumpled the masterpiece and began to look around for his disappearing quarry. To his rising anger, completely unjustified, the guard could not see where the majestic cosplayer had gone. For all intents and purposes, to the guard, he may have never even existed. The guard turned around and resumed his talk with the guest in line.

The horse man himself had already passed into the larger crowd of the convention, all of them passing out of way, and those that dared to ignore his handsomeness, were forced out the way by his own hands. Scoffing and flopping his mask each time he did so, the man himself reached a simple stall. Taking a large puff of his pipe, he leaned down and exhaled it towards the man running the stall. While the man's own appearance was nowhere near as purely majestic as HorseMask's, it was still worthy of notice.

As if the man had known who he was dealing with, he bowed and his cloak waved giddily in the air. His face was old, wrinkled, and shone from it's own sheer blinding whiteness. Other people ignored the stall and some even dared scoff at the two. HorseMask shook his mask in disbelief. How could such a glorious stall, filled with a steaming bowl of rotting fruit, and lovely paper mache sonic masks, be so blatantly ignored? It was a sin, thought HorseMask. He shook the mask, making an even louder noise.

"Good afternoon, I see you are enjoying the pipe from the last time we met," the dark man said.

A moment of silence later, during which all of the passerby showed their jealousy in glares, HorseMask nodded his mask rapidly, and the man nodded. The bowl of fruit was passed to another man, wearing a green body suit, who eagerly tossed a handful of coins onto the counter and disappeared in a whirling cloud of purple smoke. A simple cry of "FOR 4CHAN. FOR REDDIT. FOR THE MEMES," came from the cloud before it sunk to the floor. A soft noise, much like a pwif, was the last noise as the bowl of fruit fell to the floor and splattered those near by with the glorious paste.

A loud scream nearly drowned out the cloaked man's next sentence, "Perhaps you'd like to see another pipe?" Another eager nod from the horseman was the only response, and a simple box appeared in the cloaked man's hands. Opening it, HorseMask began to sing the chorus of angels, and many more people covered their ears, fearful that his excellent voice would leave them deaf to lesser noises. Taking the pipe gently in his hands, HorseMask placed the other in a pocket of his beautiful suit.

Bringing it to the hole he had placed, with a straw, for this exact purpose, HorseMask took a heavy and deep inhale from the pipe and felt himself float off the ground. Bursting into flawless, and beautiful vocal rendition of Rick Astley's Never Gonna Give You Up, HorseMask splayed his arms out like he was ascending to heaven itself. For, yes, he was indeed ascending for his majesty would be witnessed upon a world which had never seen such excellence.

With a screaming blaze of glory, HorseMask let out a whinny and fell to the ground. Landing a bit harder than anticipated, how dare the ground impede him, the horse man gazed out upon the new domain in which he would become the One. Taking to a knee, and bringing his model hand as fist to his chin, HorseMask spoke. "I have come, dearest horses, to reclaim you of your pitiful and unglorious lives. I will be your Sherperd, and you, My Sheep." HorseMask's wonderful monologue did not go unwitnessed, for a second figured dropped in the clearing.

With a sheer black coat, blood red mane and eyes, and both a horn and a pair of wings, the entity was somewhat of a marvel. It was also holding a very long sniper rifle in it's hooves. Eyeing it carefully, HorseMask decided upon offering it his wisdom and sheer wonderful awesomeness. "Hello, child," his glorious baritone voice, echoing with bass, came forth, "Have you come to witness me?"

"SHUT THE FUCK UP BITCH, IMMA FUCK UR ASS," the being dared to say against this wonder of a man, "IMMA FUCKIN 420 NOVASCOPE YOU." Leaping upwards and propelling itself with unglorified wings, for HorseMask had not touched them and so they could not shine with their true majesty, it raised the pitiful weapon to face the horse man. Spinning, and spinning, and spinning, it's hooves began to pull upon the trigger.

"Fuk off," HorseMask said in his beautiful voice. Immediately, the entity froze.

"I HAVE SINNED, PLEASE, I WILL-" the alicorn, who's name was Super Hyper Godsend Alicorn Magical Princess Sex-bang Special Awesome Guy Man Horse of Sheer SEXY Superness, tried to cry out as he realized whom he had forsaken. A mere smile appeared on the lips of the mask and the alicorn disappeared in an explosively beautiful shower of red. The confetti and party balloons were wetter and redder than HorseMask was used to, but they were acceptable. With a slow nod, he turned and the mask flopped majestically with him.

He flipped his mane to the side as he turned and, with his hands upon his hips, sauntered off towards the town in the distance. The super glorious sexy ass of that man, wonderfully tight like a virgin, swayed beautifully like a tree in the wind as he meandered off towards the town. His walk, holier than the light of any divine entity, attracted the attention of the animals of the forest. A single lone bear, having witnessed the perfection, nodded with its arms crossed.

HorseMask soon came upon the drivel that was the town of Ponyville. Staring, rather shocked, at the disturbing lack of memes and Rick Astley posters, HorseMask could not help but believe Equestria to be a land of uncultured swine who did not see the true way. It was a depressing and most pressing issue, for if the ponies did not learn the way then they could not be worthy of the truest and most divine path. Upon yet another shake of his mask, the horse man brought the pipe to his mouth and inhaled deeply.

"I'm never gonna give you up," HorseMask said, in the deepest version of his extremely sexy and glorious baritone voice.