Chapters Rainbow slipped out of Sugarcube corner, the loud music thumping heavily behind her. A single tear rolled down her cheek, and she berated herself for it. Pinkie wouldn't want ponies to cry over her... she thought angrily, She'd want us to laugh and smile and joke about the silly things she did! Despite Rainbow's desire to be happy, her eyes lacked their luster, and her cheeks were stained with tears.
She'd been the first to hear, and the first to arrive, red eyes begging the Cakes to correct her, for Pinkie to pop out from behind the bush, for it all to be some elaborate joke. But the body was real, and Pinkie was dead. Dead. She hated the word. She hated the very idea. How had it happened?
Images flashed through her head—the barely disguised glares passing between Applejack and Twilight, Rarity arriving in a fancy carriage after a day's travel to return to Ponyville, her own long journey from Cloudsdale—it was obvious to anyone who even thought about it how it had happened. They'd abandoned Pinkie. She didn't know what was going on between Applejack and Twilight, but clearly they had been fighting, and it wasn't something new. This wasn't the playful competitiveness she had shared with Applejack, or even the conflicting personalities that made Applejack and Rarity argue ceaselessly—this was pure, unabated hatred. Two of her friends hated each other.
Of course that was the cause. Pinkie had become depressed because she loved parties, loved making ponies smile, but to do either meant to choose between two of her friends! Yes, she decided, that had to be it. Even as she reassured herself, however, her guilty mind drifted back through time, sifting through memories of her own interactions with Pinkie.
Rainbow pushed her way into Sugarcube Corner, determined to find what was keeping her—they had been sure she'd find her way to Sweet Apple Acres by now. The mare did have a way of knowing when things were going on, and with half the town hiding in the barn it was hardly as if they were being subtle anymore.
There she is, Rainbow thought as she spotted her quarry, sitting in her room, talking to... inanimate objects. there was a pile of rocks, a bag of flour, some turnips, and even a dust bunny. Each was adorned with a party hat, and the room had been done up with party decorations, giving the room a happy feel that the troubled mare in the center of it all clearly was not appreciating.
A thousand thoughts flew through her head, mostly simple things like what the hay. She was, however, a smart mare, despite her usual outward demeanor, and she understood what the scene actually meant. Pinkie had believed they weren't going to her parties because they didn't like her, and she had taken it very, very badly. Twilight had fretted about the possibility when they couldn't find Pinkie, but they had been sure Pinkie wouldn't be that badly affected... Still, Dash was sure that Pinkie would be fine when she got her to the party. So she smiled past her worry, and started trying to get Pinkie out of the shop.
Rainbow frowned. Okay, sure, she’d been aware that Pinkie had problems, probably more aware than most of the others, but it still wasn't her fault... she didn't do anything to hurt her, right?
Spitfire was at her door. Spitfire was at her door! Rainbow could hardly contain her excitement, and quickly ripped the door open, startling the waiting wonderbolt. Rainbow's wide eyes took in the sight before her—Spitfire, in the full wonderbolts uniform, holding a box, without a lid, and inside... Rainbow fainted.
A small smile made its way onto her lips as the happy memory took her from the depressing present, the day she started on the path to fulfilling her dream—her invitation to the Wonderbolts.
Rainbow zipped around town telling everypony she knew the great news, spreading her message in a few words, and moving onto the next target. Eventually, she made her way to Sugarcube Corner, and burst through the door in a joyful flash. She grabbed Pinkie from behind the counter, twirling the pink party pony about and thoroughly startling the beige pony she had been talking to—Bonbon, she thought. " Pinkie! Ohmygoshohmygoshohmygosh! I did it! They're letting me in!"
Pinkie squealed gleefully with her, smiling wide just because Rainbow was smiling. "What did you do, dashie? Who's letting you in?"
Putting Pinkie down, she started flying around the room in incredibly fast circles yelling at a mile a minute while she did so, " I got in! The Wonderbolts invited me to join the team! Oh, I have to go tell Fluttershy, and Applejack and Twilight, and EVERYPONY! ohmygoshohmygoshohmyGOSH!" She grabbed pinkie in another tight hug, and rocketed out of the sweet shop, heading for the library even as she heard Pinkie yell something about a party. She noted idly through her excitement that her shoulder was wet where Pinkies head had been. Must have been drinking something before she got there.
Rainbow clenched her eyes shut, the realization sinking in. She had abandoned her. The element of "Loyalty" had abandoned her friend. Not just Pinkie, she corrected herself, all of her friends. She wasn't there to keep Pinkie company, she wasn't there to help Twilight and Applejack through their fight, and she wasn't there to try and convince Rarity to stay in Ponyville.
Tears fell from her eyes unimpeded, and Rainbow wandered through Ponyville to the graveyard, lingering over where Pinkie rested. The grave was simple enough—pink roses planted over the freshly turned earth, a headstone engraved with three balloons and "Pinkamena Diane Pie, 982-1006, A beautiful soul filled with LAUGHTER, the world shall be darker for her absence". Rainbow gave a slight smile, pressing her hoof to the engraving.
"You know, Pinks, a lot of ponies say the Applejack is Ponyville's rock—she's who everypony depends on to get things done, the most reliable mare. But you were always my rock, Pinkie, you were always there for me. You helped me through tough times, and you were my best friend. I guess I thought you would always be there for me, but I never considered that you needed me as much as I needed you. I'm so sorry, Pinkie."
Rarity picked her way through the crowded room, the loud voices and louder music fading to little more than a mumble as she fell into troubled thoughts. She had, of course, seen the first signs of depression after Rainbow left—everypony had. They'd helped her through it, though, and she was back to her usual self by just a few weeks later. Hadn’t she?
Of course, Rarity could hardly deny that she'd failed to spend much time with Pinkie after they had "fixed" her temporary depression. Sure, she'd gone to a handful of parties—nopony has skipped Pinkie’s "I'm not being a saddy-waddy-moppy-woppy pants" party, at least partly for fear it would undo the progress in getting her back to her usual self, and she could hardly skip any of her friends birthday parties, but still... she hadn't gone out of her way to spend time with Pinkie, and that was when she still spent much of her time in Ponyville.
It had, of course, started subtly, as such things are wont to do. Ever since she'd met Fancy on a trip into Canterlot, she'd been invited to an ever increasing number of parties. Sure, when it was discovered she'd lied about her friends, the number had... well, it had dipped, but Fancy and Fleur were still supportive, and Fleur even bought one of her gowns, and soon enough she was back on her way to being a pony to know, as t'were. A garden party here, a ball there, and so much more business!
She was barely a month into her new-found career when she was asked—well, given the opportunity, if she was being honest with herself, but still—to design the gowns to be worn by the Canterlot Orchestra in the new year! It might not have been as well viewed as more popular acts, such as sapphire shores, but the allure and glamor of designing something to be viewed by the very peak of society—Oh!
She had, of course, been given tickets in addition to her payment. Six, to be precise. And of course Rarity first considered her friends, but soon realized only two would ever see the value and enjoyment to be had in such a thing. Given that, she offered Twilight and Fluttershy a ticket each, and kept the remaining three for those who had helped to launch her new found career. Fancy and Fleur were delighted, of course, and Hoity Toity, despite how he griped about the trip, seemed to genuinely enjoy himself, in his own quiet and self assured way. Twilight and Fluttershy had quickly separated themselves from the others, occasionally leaning toward one another to whisper some quiet joke, or obscure knowledge about the music being played, and occasionally seeming just a little too close together—ah, but she was being sidetracked, wasn't she?
After the orchestra, she did consulting work for a play or two, and Cadence even had her make a number of gowns for various outings. Another month into her wonderful new job—she'd let Carousel Boutique out some time ago, and moved her primary operations into Canterlot to encourage greater traffic—and she even had her own summer line out, almost twenty different dresses, and a few articles of men's apparel, besides, which were showing huge successes not just in canterlot, but thanks to Hoity and his many connections, in Manehatten as well, when Rarity realized with some surprise she couldn't remember the last time she had visited Ponyville. Sure, she could recall the date, but the actual events of the trip escaped her. And so, with her not-so new found success buoying her spirits, she set out for Ponyville.
Oh, Ponyville. What a wonderfully quaint and quiet town. Rarity had, prior to living— oh, how strange a thought that was —in Canterlot, rarely appreciated just how calm the slow paced town really was—though, she supposed, it only rarely was so. Half the time it seemed the town was under attack by ravenous monsters, or the entire town was being derailed or destroyed by the actions and words of a single crazed mare, but still. Compared to Canterlot, the town was... peaceful.
First, she decided to visit her dear friend Fluttershy. She made her way to the timid pegasus' house, greeting a number of familiar ponies on the way, though she had to admit, in the deepest corners of her mind, that she barely remembered most of them.
Eventually, she arrived at the cottage, and knocked lightly on the door. The response was unusually immediate—a loud thump, followed by the sound of scrambling hooves and hushed voices. Rarity blushed when she realized she'd accidentally interrupted... well, something. Eventually the door slid open, and Fluttershy seemed to press herself into the space, her burning blush confirming Rarities suspicions. She opened her mouth to greet her good friend, but was interrupted when Fluttershy began to talk loudly. VERY loudly. " Oh! Rarity! How good to see you! How have you been? What are you doing back in Ponyville?"
Rarity blinked. Twice. "Uuummm... I've been well, Fluttershy, I just realized how long it’s been since I last came home, and decided I simply HAD to come and see how you were all doing! But tell me, Fluttershy, how have you been doing?"
Fluttershy's blush was quickly receding, and she returned to a more common octave "Oh I've been doing wonderfully, Rarity! Come inside, I'll put on some tea and you can tell me how things have been in Canterlot... Umm... If you want to, that is."
"Of course, my dear. I'm not interrupting anything, I hope?"
The blush made a triumphant return on Fluttershy's face, but "Oh... I couldn't give up the chance to catch up with a friend visiting from Canterlot, Rarity!"
Rarity paused at her friends wording. Visiting from Canterlot . Was she really such a rare sight around Ponyville that her visits should interrupt other's business?
Later in the same visit, after spending time with Twilight, Applejack, and what few of her old customers that she could still remember, she realized she'd forgotten to see the town's resident party mare. Cursing herself for having forgotten Pinkie, even if temporarily, she made her way to Sugarcube Corner.
Once she had made it to the bakery, she promptly found herself on her back, with a ball of pink bouncing up and down on her chest. "OHMYGOSH! RARITY! I CAN'T BELIEVE YOU'RE HERE! Oh, I haven't seen you in weeks and weeks and weeks, and now you're HERE, and I'm going to need to throw a great big party, and oh, everypony is going to want to come, and oh! How are you doing in Canterlot? Have you been selling lots and lots and lots and lots and lots and lots and lots and lots and lots and lots and lots and lots of dresses? Have you gone to any more big stuffy parties with boring ponies in expensive clothes? OH! Now you're going to say..." Pinkie paused for an almost imperceptible fraction of a second, before resuming her speech with a more than passable impression of Rarity "'Pinkie, darling, if you want me to answer any of your questions you simply MUST give me a chance to speak!' and I'll be like 'well duh' and then you'll give me a look, ooh, yes! just like that—"
Having had quite enough, Rarity decided to go with her usual response to Pinkie's... exuberance: a withering glare and a hoof inserted directly into the offending pony's mouth. "Pinkie, dear, please, slow down just a little?" Pinkie, her eyes still betraying a brilliant smile, nodded, and Rarity extracted her hoof. "Now, to answer your questions—I've been doing quite well, thank you very much for asking, I've sold my share of dresses, and I have gone to several parties, some as prestigious as the Gala, or nearly so. How have things been here in Ponyville?"
"Oh, things have been GREAT Rarity! Pound and Pumpkin turned five a week ago and we had the BIGGEST party, oh they were so surprised and so happy, you should have seen them! Twilight and Fluttershy left a little early, but they've been doing that a lot, oh! And Big Mac proposed to Cherilee! It was so romantic, and everypony is going to go to the wedding!"
"Pinkie, Darling, I already know about Big Mac, and I know when the twin's birthday is. I was asking how YOU have been!" even as she admonished her friend, Rarity barely suppressed a twinge of irritation. Of course she'd known about the wedding—Applejack had practically written it in the sky.
"Oh. Well, I've been throwing a lot of parties, and I think things have been going well...
Rarity sighed, realizing that was the last time she had ever spoken to Pinkie. Her later visits to Ponyville were marked by both accidental and intentional avoidance of her erstwhile friend. She had never meant any harm, of course, but it still hurt to realize that she had consciously made a decision that hurt her friend, and helped to lead them to this tragic parody of a party, mourning Pinkie's passing, perhaps even the death of Laughter itself.
Tears began to glide down her cheeks, smearing carefully applied makeup with their passing. Oh, Rarity, she thought, to think you prided yourself on generosity, and never thought to give that most basic of things, even to some of your closest friends—yourself.
Twilight Sparkle sighed. She could feel Fluttershy shaking beside her. If she listened hard enough, she could even hear her marefriend's shuddering sobs. Twilight wished she knew how to make her happy again, how to make her smile, but how could she? Laughter was gone, and nothing would ever be all right again.
Nuzzling Fluttershy gently, Twilight stood and stepped back into the subdued party, so calm—at least, by comparison with the parties Pinkie had once thrown. The whole thing barely felt like a party, only entitled to the name by virtue of the decorations, as though the concept itself had gone into mourning. Mr. and Mrs. Cake stood in a corner, quietly crying to themselves while the twins sobbed in front of a small table loaded with photographs, paintings and other assorted Pinkie Pie paraphernalia. A hoofull of other ponies roamed the room like planets bereft of a star, searching for a new orbit. She herself simply stood at the door, watching others express their grief, feeling nothing herself.
Well, technically speaking, that wasn't true. It wasn't sadness or grief she felt, but guilt, dogging her thoughts and turning her mind in endless circles. If they had just been a little less antagonistic towards each other, if they hadn't taken it out on their friends, if, if, if. She tried to remember the last time she had spoken to Pinkie, and her mind slipped back a week and a half, sitting outside the cottage, enjoying a crisp, cold day and a mug of cocoa.
Twilight's ears perked, and a series of slight steps reached her ears, followed by a coughing hiccup, like the kind of sound one makes when one doesn't want others to know that one is crying. She stood, ready to receive a guest, and a severely distraught one at that, before the pink mare stepped into view around the trees, eyes on the ground, mane disheveled and flat, almost lifeless. Twilight panicked—what should she do? She didn't want to talk to her, but she knew that Pinkie would need something.
Eventually settling on a course of action, Twilight blinked from her comfy chair into the cottage. " Fluttershy! Pinkie's here to see you again!"
Twilight frowned. No, that wasn't the last time they'd spoken. It was the last time she saw Pinkie, but it was not the last time they spoke. That would imply that one of the two of them had actually said something. So when had they last spoken? Certainly they spoke since... well, since that day, but when was the last time? She thought hard, and realized something terrifying—she didn't know. She couldn't remember when her last conversation—her last REAL conversation—with Pinkie had been. The only thing she did know is what must have happened—she tried something—maybe this time she was faking apology letters, thinking they would both simply apologize when she brought them together. Maybe she was staging another "therapy" session. Or, maybe, she was just begging her to forgive Applejack. Regardless of the means, though, Twilight knew what she did—She dismissed the filly out of hoof.
Oh, sure, she'd say she was busy, or she'd try to talk her out of these pointless attempts, and then they'd small talk for a while, though she only really wanted Pinkie to leave, and she knew Pinkie was busy plotting a new way of resolving the fight, a new way to push herself further from Twilight, and, likely, Applejack as well.
Twilight scowled. Even thinking that name was like swallowing a bitter pill, admitting that she had ever been friends with someone so hateful, so stubborn, so... homophobic. Oh, sure, Applejack tried to act like she was sorry, at least in public, but she could see the way Applejack glared at them when they were out in public, when they kissed, any sign of affection, really. It was a peculiar thing, the glare—part hatred, part disgust, and, she always noted, part fear. Fear, she assumed, of being revealed for what she was to the world.
As if she didn't do that well enough all on her own...
Twilight tried to analyze her emotions as their friends filtered in, sans Dash and Rarity. It really was too bad—Dash might not be too excited by it, but Rarity would be able to gush for HOURS about this. Still, if Spike did as she had asked him to, Rarity would hear at the same time as the others, and it wouldn't be long before Rarity made her feelings on the topic known, if she had to tear down the laws of physics and magic both to do so.
Pinkie stepped in, followed by Cheerilee and Applejack, all looking curious, and, in Pinkie's case, excited. Oh god, how would they react? Pinkie at least partially knew—they'd both unknowing confided in her, asking for advice, but, well, a formal announcement would be... different. Twilight stared at Pinkie, trying to guess what the enigma of a mare was thinking. She'd clearly already figured out what they were going to say, and her eyes were filled with almost unadulterated joy—almost, but not quite, a twinge of moroseness, or even melancholy hiding behind the oh-so-familiar Pinkie Pie sheen. She almost asked what was the matter, but then her other guests reminded her of their presence, and nervousness took away her ability for conscious thought. "Twi? Ya'll know Ah'd do anything for ya, but if'n ya'd hurry it up, I'd be mighty obliged. We've gotta lot of work ta do, what with applebuck season coming up."
Twilight froze, all her muscles going rigid as a thousand worries fought to have the highly contested position of "Thing Twilight panics over this week", mostly involving her friends reactions and those of the community at large. Suddenly a warm blanket seemed to envelope her back, and she snuggled back into Fluttershy's wing, taking comfort in the closeness before she had to face her friends, who were now showing utterly unique emotions—Cheerilee gasped, with the ghost of a smile slowly working it's way in, Pinkie was hoping up and down, grinning like the maniac she was, and Applejack was... Applejack was...
Twilight shook her head, clearing away the memories, and attracting a bit more attention than she would have liked. Applejack stared at her, and Twilight stared back, and she saw the same mix of emotions she imagined that Applejack could see written across her face—remorse, with just a twinge of guilt. She sighed, and decided that it was time to bury the hatchet, once and for all.
Applejack leaned against the snack table, and stared forlornly through the could of similarly listless ponies. Sure, there was some pretense of dancing, a few games, but nopony was truly partying... not like Pinkie had wanted them to. If it had just been a horrible accident, terrible as that was to think, this would be easier— far better to place blame on random fate then on your own actions.
She sighed, her gaze drifting to the ground. She had tried, of course, to mend the rift that eventually split her from all of her former friends, save Rainbow, who exiled herself for the sake of the wonderbolts, but some wounds ran too deep— How do you apologize for telling someone you think they are an abomination? She knew, and accepted, that she had been wrong, that when she said those things she may have been being honest, but it didn't change the fact it was the worst thing she ever did.
Applejack's jaw fell open as the mares before her— her friends!— hugged close, sharing the kind of intimacy intended only for a mare and a colt. She nearly retched. She knew her eyes would betray her feelings as disgust and contempt fought an even battle for supremacy, and she could see in Twilight's eyes that her friend already knew what she was thinking.
The hurt she saw only made her angry. Twilight had called her to them, then done... done that! And she thought she had the write to be hurt by her disgust? Applejack's stomach roiled, and her confused gaze melted into open hatred. Twilight's eyes watered, and Applejack saw her heart break as her friend saw her emotions, clear as day. "Applejack..."
"No! Don't you "Applejack" me, you... you slut! Ah... Ah don't even know what to think anymore! You... you disgust me! Ah don't want to see you, either of you, around Sweet Apple Acres, and I don't want you spending time with Applebloom, not until you realize how... How foalish you're being! when you work this out of your systems, let me know, but until then... I don't want to see either of you."
Applejack turned and stalked from the room, But not fast enough to escape the sorrowful gaze Pinkie leveled upon her, nor to escape the soft sobbing as one of her dearest friends had her heart wrenched from her chest. She assumed it was Fluttershy, but in the end, she didn't really care.
Applejack winced as the memory faded, knowing that, while it was perhaps the most noteworthy of such events, it was hardly the last. She vaguely recalled saying a number of unkind things when Fluttershy had found Applebloom on her way back from visiting Zecora and offered to walk her home, of launching into a veritable verbal tirade when she had seen the couple on a double date with Bon-Bon and Lyra, even of sending hate mail to her once-dear friends, demanding they abandon their sinful life style and live their lives hiding who they were— of course, she hadn't seen it that way at the time, but introspection and a healthy dose of perspective had a habit of showing you the truth of your actions.
Pinkie had eventually managed to calm her down, and talk out her worries, fears and beliefs, downplaying them without dismissing them, showing her how stupid it all was without implying that she was stupid. When she had finally accepted that truth, she immediately rushed off to apologize, to undo the damage that had been caused, only for Pinkie to wisely point out that, for a time, at least, it would be best if she simply left things alone. And she did. Meanwhile Pinkie started trying to get Twilight to come to talk to her- They both knew that Fluttershy would be willing to forgive her, but the problem was convincing Twilight to let Fluttershy anywhere near Applejack. With each successive panic attack and break down Twilight had grown more protective of her Marefriend, perhaps reasonably so.
But that still left Pinkie and Applejack without a point of egress. Everypony they spoke to for assistance insisted that Applejack had gotten herself into the mess, and that she should be the one to dig herself out. They might have tried contacting Rainbow for support, but the only reliable methods of contacting her— Fluttershy and Spike— were out of the question, the mare for the obvious reasons and Spike because he had reacted even more negatively than Twilight to her tirades, and had often been the one to physically evict her from whatever location she had chosen for her most recent rant.
Eventually, she was forced to admit that she wasn't going to be able to fix things with twilight, and accept that their friendship was over— maybe forever.
Pinkie bounced up to Applejack while she was lost in thought, babbling about something. she knew she should pay attention to what her over-excited friend was talking about, but somehow it just didn't seem worth it. It had been weeks since she had ruined her own life, and in that time only one of her friends had really talked to her— she wasn't willing to count the arguments she had with Twilight, the times she reduced Fluttershy to tears, and the contempt all their other friends had shown her as talking.
Much as it pained her to admit, Applejack already knew what she needed to do. She looked at Pinkie, who was smiling wide, probably because of some new plan to makeup with Twilight, and gave her a sad smile. "Pinkie, ah... Ah don't think we're gonna fix this. And ah don't want you to burn any bridges on mah account."
Pinkie seemed to slowly deflate, her hair loosing it's bounce and her eyes watering. She stared at Applejack for a few minutes, before turning slowly away. Applejack watched her last friend walked away, and a tear fell from her eye.
Applejack sighed,staring down at her hooves. How was she to know that Pinkie wouldn't be able to make friends with the others again? And how was she to know that things would get so bad? Even as she thought these things she knew she was lying to herself, that she was as responsible for this as anyone else, but sometimes it was nice to hide behind a comforting lie.
With a splash, a tear fell from Fluttershy's chin. She sniffled and wiped her eyes, leaning against Twilight. She knew that Twilight would be blaming herself, probably thinking about how she and Applejack had ruined so much for Pinkie, but somehow she couldn't get out the words anymore, couldn't tell Twilight what she knew, what she'd known for months, and why it was all her fault. But she couldn't do it, couldn't bear to see the reproach in her marefriend's eyes when she knew how horrible and selfish she had been.
Fluttershy was scared. That was hardly a unique experience, but for once she wasn't afraid something would hurt her, or that she would hurt somepony else. This time, she was afraid that she was going to do something stupid, and that Twilight would hate her. Somewhere in her mind she knew that was a silly thing to be afraid of, that Twilight would still be her friend, even if she did do something stupid and made her angry. Somehow, knowing that just made it worse.
It was not a new fear, but it was stronger than it had ever been before, because she was planning to do something about it. For months she had come up with excuses and reasons and distractions to keep herself from addressing the fact, and, be it a blessing or a curse, Twilight remained entirely unaware of her feelings due to the naive mare's inexperience with even basic social interaction, never mind hunting out secrets and recognizing tells that something isn't alright.
Of course, she'd never have reached this point if not for her helper and torturer. The pink mare, who was at that moment hopping about in Fluttershy's kitchen, carefully avoiding her near catatonic friend, preparing a meal to wow Twilight. She had discovered the secret after a late party, partly because Pinkie Pie was one of the most attentive ponies in Equestria, and partially because she had caught Fluttershy stroking a sleeping Twilight's hair after the over-tired mare had fallen asleep. What followed was the quietest scream Fluttershy had ever heard.
Eventually Fluttershy shook her way from her stupor, just in time to find that Pinkie had left the building and mere minutes remained before Twilight was to arrive—again courtesy of Pinkie—who had invited Twilight to "An extra super special party for grown-ups only,". Fluttershy fretted as the clock ticked on, and tried to distract herself by feeding the animals in her cottage, only to find that Pinkie had beaten her to the punch, and even led the snakes that normally slept in her couch outside where Twilight wouldn't see them. Stumped for things to do, she was eventually forced to relax and do nothing until Twilight arrived.
Fluttershy smiled as she remembered that first date. She and Twilight had been so awkward, it took her almost an hour to admit why she'd had Pinkie invite Twilight over, and once she had things had just kind of spiraled into a happy ending. Well, as happy as they could be when one of their friends hated her for being who she was. Still, she wouldn't have traded that time for anything.
Unfortunately, even that memory was tinged with sadness. As fast as the memory had come, she remembered the context: a promise made, but never kept. Pinkie had helped her to "get her mare," so to speak, but she'd never been able to help Pinkie get hers. She'd tried, of course. They'd made plan after plan after plan, and every one had fallen through. Rainbow had been sick when Pinkie planned dates, Rainbow had missed hints dropped with all the subtlety of rock slides, and emergencies had pulled Fluttershy away from preparations, causing Pinkie to lose her nerve. Then, of course, came the worst thing: Rainbow had left.
It hadn't been insurmountable—the Wonderbolts had always been Rainbow's dream. Of course, Pinkie had known that if she wooed Rainbow she'd only see her in the spaces between shows. With this in mind, they had started planning a new way for Pinkie to seek Rainbow's affection, so that Pinkie could be ready whenever Rainbow came home.
Except she never did. With every week that passed, their visits grew shorter and Fluttershy could see Pinkie growing a little quieter. Before now, it had been simple enough to ignore the failures—'oh, we'll do it next time,' she'd tell Pinkie, and then they'd talk about how they would do it and the great big party they'd all have when Rainbow said yes. They never addressed the elephant in the room, because if they did then that made it real. Yes, Rainbow might reject her, might even hate her for asking, but they couldn't talk about it. She might not, though, and that was too good to ignore.
Then she and Twilight had made their ill-fated admission, and Applejack had made her position clear. It had made the possibility that Rainbow would reject her real, and it made everything else seem impossible. Pinkie, being Pinkie, took that as a challenge. She said 'If I want to make Rainbow love me, she can't be worrying about Applejack when she comes home,' and that was that. Pinkie was off, to change Applejack's mind. And it almost worked. Unfortunately for Pinkie,Twilight refused to forget. Pinkie only saw Twilight's anger, but Fluttershy had seen how deeply the rejection had hurt Twilight. So many nights had been spent in tears, until Twilight had resolved to hate Applejack. Fluttershy knew the moment it had happened. The sobs had stopped, and Twilight had opened her eyes, and started glaring out the window.
In the moment that Twilight made her decision, Fluttershy knew Pinkie's quest was doomed. Applejack could come crawling back on her knees, all the wealth of a thousand nations piled on her back as a gift and token of her sorrow over her actions, and Twilight would turn her away. Twilight had the singular ability to hold to any idea, no matter how erroneous, through dissenting voices, unarguable proofs, and rejection by everyone she knew. She was, after all, the smartest mare in a great many rooms. She had great experience with being right, but almost none with being wrong.
So, in time, Applejack did the only kind thing she could for Pinkie—she turned her away. And, in doing so, she isolated Pinkie not just from herself, but also from Twilight. Pinkie was left with only one true friend, and so told her everything. Rarity's attempts to avoid her, Twilight's gruffness, Applejack's flat, sometimes tearful rejections, the strange, sad looks she got from the cakes, and most of all Rainbow's absence. Pinkie was, of course, convinced that if Rainbow returned it would somehow fix everything. Rarity would come home, she'd force Twilight to talk to applejack, and they'd be together. It was all she wanted, the one thing she could hold onto.
And then, the letter came. Fluttershy wiped her eyes, steeling herself against the cold. Twilight had gone inside a while ago, no doubt to confront Applejack, and she was left with nothing to do. Not nothing, she realized after a moment’s thought. She needed to say her goodbye to Pinkie. She'd been there before, but never to say goodbye. She had apologized, she had wept, but she hadn't said farewell.
Course set, she walked from Sugarcube Corner to the cemetery, preparing to finally send off her closest friend.
Author's Note
This has been a long time coming!
These chapters fought me, but now I can finally tick the little completed box! You'll have to excuse me, any further pontificating will be saved for the final chapter.
“Hey, Applejack.”
Applejack looked up in shock, surprised to see Twilight in front of her. “Hey, Twilight.”
An awkward silence stretched between them, slowly trying to force the conversation to a close. Twilight seemed to realise this, and immediately pushed on. “I think we need to have a talk. About... about a lot of things.”
Another pause, this one shorter and less awkward. “Yeah, we do.” With a sigh, Applejack swallowed her pride. It tasted bitter on the way down. “Look, Twilight, Ah’m not afraid to say Ah did wrong. Ah know Ah did, by you and Fluttershy. But these last few months... they’ve been hard. Ah’ve been trying to apologize, and—”
“I know you have. I always knew what you and Pinkie were trying, I think, but I was just so... so angry! I guess I felt... I felt betrayed. You were one of my closest friends, you knew both of us for years, and you let something so silly come before that.”
Applejack visibly bristled, a tiny hint of anger working it’s way into her voice. “Twilight, Ah know it was stupid, but it wasn’t something silly, it was what Ah really believe is true! You can’t just—”
“Is?”
“Ah mispoke. Look, Twi’, Ah’m sorry, and you know Ah’m sincere, but don’t try to pretend that it was just some silly little thing. Ah saw it as... as an attack on me, and the things Ah believed, and pretending it wasn’t huge won’t change what happened.”
Twilight sighed again, and walked over to stand beside Applejack, looking out over the rest of the party. “You’re right. We shouldn’t dwell on the past... just so long as you’re sure it is in the past.”
Applejack glared at Twilight from the corner of her eye, growling “And just what did ya mean by that?”
Twilight turned to look at her friend, and caught sight of the glare, instantly returning it in kind. “I mean that I don’t want to go through this, reconcile with you, only to find you gagging when you see us together, or glaring at me when my back is turned.”
“Twilight, you know Ah’d never—”
Twilight cut her off, growling “I used to think I knew you’d never be so petty and cruel as to try and ruin something that should have been wonderful for me and Fluttershy, but we both saw how that turned out. Now? I don’t know what to think.”
“That’s not fair, Twilight, and you know it. Ah was—”
Again Twilight interrupted, snorting in annoyance. “What? Mean? Needlessly cruel? Horrifically damaging psychologically? Unforgivably bigoted? What phrase can magically sum up everything you did and still somehow leave you with any possible degree of moral high ground?”
Applejack stomped a hoof, temper rising, but carefully kept her voice low, to avoid making a scene. “How about the fact that I was the one trying to fix things, that Ah tried to apologize, and that you wouldn’t let me in, even pushed Pinkie away because she was trying to help me? Hay, Twilight, you’re the reason she’s not here today, more than Rainbow or Rarity or anyone else!”
Twilight’s eyes widened, and she reeled back as though she had been slapped, before physically pushing forward. “Yes! I pushed you away, because I didn’t want to hurt anymore! It just... it hurt so much, and I needed to feel better somehow, so I decided to be angry at you! Can you blame me?”
Applejack stopped, to stare at Twilight. She’d never really thought about how what she’d done had affected her friend, but now... how could she ignore it, watching one of her strongest friends cry, barely choking back sobs, and know that she’d caused it? She reached out a hoof, trying to comfort her friend, to lend her strength.
In that instant, several things happened. First, Twilight saw the hoof, and in her grief, she didn’t realize what it meant. Second, Applejack found herself pinned to the wall by a powerful magic force, the screaming of the wind in her ears only barely failing to block out Twilight’s own pained keening. Finally, Twilight disappeared in a flash, leaving Applejack to fall from the wall.
With a sickening crack, Applejack found a reason to scream all her own.
~~~~~
Fluttershy arrived just barely in time to hear Rainbow's last words. Normally, she would have gone to Rainbow, held her, let her cry against her shoulder. Normally, she would have helped her through a tough time, helped her be happy again, helped her reconcile things with their friends— like Pinkie would have wanted.
Normally, she wasn't this angry.
"You're right, you know," she began, bringing out her cruelest barbs. "You weren't here. after Rarity left it was just the four of us. Rarity visited, unlike you, but it wasn't the same. Then Twilight and Applejack happened, and Pinkie tried to fix it. Obviously, that didn't work. All it did was isolate her from Twilight, so I was the only one she had. You weren't here, and we all fell apart. You'd almost think we'd built our lives around someone we thought would always be there for us. I guess we were wrong after all."
It took Rainbow a moment to reconcile the words with the speaker. Her mouth didn't wait to understand. "If you were the only one she had, where were you at the end? Why couldn't she count on you , if you knew she couldn't count on anyone else? I was stupid, I thought you'd all be fine without me. What was your excuse?"
Fluttershy stared at her for a moment, as though weighing her words, before walking up to the grave. "She was waiting for you, you know. All this time, she was so sure you'd come back and fix everything. Applejack and Twilight would be friends again, Rarity would buy back her boutique, and we'd all live happily ever after. Of course, none of that compares to what she wanted from you."
With a small turn, she glared straight through Rainbow, as though furious with the sky for being so dark. "She wanted you to love her. She spent so long working up the courage, planning a dozen ways to tell you, and you never gave her a chance. Always off to do something more important than spend time with her,” Fluttershy started stepping forward, pressing Rainbow back, inch by inch. “When you left, we started planning how she'd tell you the next time you came home. She was so sure it would work. She couldn't accept that it might not. But she didn’t get the chance. You never came back, not once, not even for a visit. And when you finally do send a letter, what does it say? You're in love! Oh, it ruined her. And yes, I was the only one she had, Rainbow. But I couldn't be there for her, because all she would see was how happy I was with Twilight. Just another example of what she could never have."
Rainbow was taken aback, slowly backing away from Fluttershy’s advance. Finally, when the tirade had ended, Rainbow stepped forwards, reclaiming her lost ground with an angry glare to match Fluttershy’s. “You’re pinning this on me? It’s my fault Pinkie is dead because I have a marefriend? How could I have ever known what Pinkie thought if she never told me?”
Fluttershy didn’t flinch. Holding her ground against Rainbows advance, she retorted “You could have let her. You could have come home just once. No, don’t you say that you didn’t have the time, because we both know that’s a lie. Defend yourself however you want, Rainbow, but in the end, you’re the one who killed Pinkie. You killed her because you stopped caring.”
When Fluttershy finished, Rainbow took to the air, tears splashing to the ground, air swirling in the wake of her frantic flapping. Fluttershy herself stepped forward to the grave. As she read the inscription, Fluttershy broke down once more, and she sobbed into the ground.
Author's Note
Thanks for sticking with me, regardless of when you arrived. This story has been a hell of a ride, and I couldn't have done it without my editor, Cynewulf . Seriously, go give him all your love.
I don't even know what to say, so I'll leave it to Cyne to wrap up-
It does here, Woofy, it does here.
Anyway, that's all for now. Hopefully I'll see you with the next one, which hopefully won't be as slow, and perhaps, if we're lucky, a little less depressing. Night(or morning, or noon, or whenever you read this!)!
