All hail the Guard of Friendship

by Kaliann25

Rating: everyone
Tags: Romance, Octavia, Comedy, Bon-Bon, Adventure, Derpy Hooves, DJ P0N-3, Lyra, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Alternate Universe
Length: 4960

Derpy, Lyra, Octavia, Vinyl and Bon-Bon, the Guard of Friendship. They may not be the strongest or the most disciplined soldiers but together they’ll do what they can to protect Princess Twilight and help her spread the Magic of Friendship

Spin-off from Chaos: the Age of Spike; the adventures of the newest and smallest of Equestrian Guards.

With Derpy Hooves as Captain Hooves
Octavia Melody as Lieutenant Melody
Vinyl Scratch as Private Scratch
Lyra Heartstrings as Private Heartstrings
And Bon-Bon as Private Sweetie Drops

They may not the strongest or the most disciplined soldiers but together they’ll protect Princess Twilight and help her spread the Magic of Friendship to all over the Kingdom!!

Published 2017-02-18 06:40:01 UTC
Last updated 2017-02-21 14:20:32 UTC

The uniforms

No, you’re not dreaming or hallucinating! They truly are the world-famous Guard of Friendship!

A fic brought to you by the Witnesses of Cthulu of the Seventh day; offer your soul to our Dark Lord today and receive a free homunculus and a knife for sacrifices!

Tonight’s episode is called:

The uniforms

It was a beautiful and ‘normal’ morning in my hometown Ponyville, when suddenly a roar resounded all over the place starting one of the massive panic attacks our townsfolks are famous for.

What was disturbing the peace of Ponyville?

Well a giant monster made completely out of stone no less, and he was destroying everything trying to smash my little ponies. Not under my watch, and who I am? Well no less than Vinyl Scratch, leader of the elite unite known of the Guard of Friendship. My friends and I will save the day, or my name is Fancy Vanilla again; and I have no plans to be called like that!

The monster was still roaring and smashing things, and every time he opened his mouth we could smell his awful breath. It was a mixture of mold, imprisonment and humidity. Have you entered a cave? Well, get the idea!

But as I was telling you, the monster was trying to destroy everything on his way, but luckily for us he was too big and clumsy but at this rate he would cause some harm so as the Guard of Friendship my friends and I cannot allow that.

“Vinyl, oh Vinyl what should we do?” Shrieked my young wife, the beautiful Octavia.

Oh! If it wasn’t for my strong hooves holding her she would faint right there.

“Don’t worry my one true love! I, Vinyl, have everything under control! Derpy, try to fly around the monster, call for his attention!”

“Are you sure my captain?” Asked my shy subordinate. “I don’t think is a good idea, we may get hurt!”

“Not while I’m in charge!” I say confidently. “Go, I’ll watch your back!”

Tears of gratefulness almost drown Derpy but it wasn’t the time to cry since while were planning our next move the monster attacked us; but Derpy ran to follow my army and I turn to my beautiful wife and our friend Lyra and say:

“Go, now that Derpy is distracting him use your hypersonic instruments!”

They both pulled their lyre and cello and since I transferred them all my bravery they attacked him at the same time stunned the thing for a while, but Vinyl Scratch is too smart to overconfident herself so I turn to my other brave subordinate:

“Bon-Bon, use your strength to finish the beast of!”

“Okay boss!” Say Bonnie jumping over the beast hitting it right on the chest making it fall. It is my chance.

And with my magic mastery I teleport on top of the creature and use my laser-beam glasses to melt it down. Ponyville is safe again thanks to us.

“Oh Vinyl, I just fell twice in love with you!” Says my beloved wife falling into my hooves and I place a rose in my mouth and kiss her passionately.

“You did it boss! We wouldn’t do it without you!”

“As humble as always”

And I smiled very sure of our victory, but no, something was wrong. This was too easy.

“Ahahahahaha!! It seems like you destroyed my creation, oh brave Vinyl Scratch the only opponent I consider worthy! But you haven’t defeated me, the great Maud Pie yet! The brightest and most evil mind of all times ahahahahahahaha!!”

It was her! Of course! A monster made out of rock? Only the psycho could do something like this.

It was the time to act so I jump towards Maud and shut her up with a punch to the jaw. Now Equestria is definitely safe again.

A filly come close to me.

“When I grow up I want to be like you miss Vinyl!”

“Everypony three hurray’s for the Guard of Friendship!” Says our boss, Princess Twilight Sparkle.

“HIP-HIP”

“HURRAY!”

“HIP-HIP”

“HURRAY!”

“HIP-HIP”

“HURRAY!”

And as is usual in my beloved town, the townsfolks start a musical number:

“VINYL SCRAAATCH, VINYL SCRAAATCH! A HEROINE SHE IS, VINYL SCRAATCH!”

I try to say I didn’t do it on my own, that my friends are always here for me but they just don’t listen and start celebrating so I say, what the hay no? So I kiss my beautiful wife. Being a heroine feels good.

PLAM!

Vinyl woke up all of sudden when Octavia pushed her out of the bed.

“Ey, what was that for?” Complained the white unicorn.

“Stop complaining, you kicked me several times while you were dreaming I-don-know-what” making sounds and mumbling stuff. Anyway, it’s time to wake up”

Whoa, sorry Tavi. I was having the most marvelous dream and you were there, and Derpy was there, oh and Bonnie and Lyra too. And Maud too! I was kicking her butt”

Octavia chuckled and helped Vinyl to stand.

“I understand, we all wish to kick the psycho’s butt. Now good morning Vinyl”

And the gray mare kissed Vinyl.
The white unicorn blushed and kissed her back.

“Morning Tavi”

They started to have breakfast when somepony knocked the door.

“Here’s the mail, it never fails. It makes me wag my tail. When it comes I want to wail, MAIL”

Octavia opened the door military-saluting the gray Pegasus.

“Oh, good morning captain. What’s up? Delivering mail? But we don’t need alibies anymore” Asked Octavia.

“No but I like to do it. Anyway, you have fan-mail, some bills and an immediate delivery” said Derpy with a smile giving them a bunch of cards and a package.

“A package?” Asked Octavia and Vinyl at the unison.

They took the package and opened it, showing their badges.

“Oh cool!” Cheered Vinyl.

“Yep, it’s official, we’re the Guard of Friendship” said Derpy. “And today we have an appointment at Rarity’s at ten o’clock to take measures to our new uniforms”

“A Boutique designing armors? That’s a new one” said Octavia raising an eyebrow.

Derpy shrugged.

“Ey, we were spies not soldiers, and I’m not using an uncomfortable metal outfit pal! No we arranged something with the new boss. Now if you excuse me I’ll be delivering mail, enjoy the batches!”

“Take care!”

The rest of the morning was calm, and when they went to their appointment with Rarity, Vinyl was bragging her new batch stopping passerby’s from time to time.

“Stop! Stop in the name of the Guard of Friendship! This is a routine inspection!”

And she took that pony’s saddlebag and started to look inside it.

“What’s this? Confess!!”

“A pack of chewing gum?”

“Oh, it’s okay then, stay out of trouble”

And the pony ran away scared.

“Ey you! Stop in the name of the Secret Service!”

“Who? Me?” Asked Pipsqueak.

Vinyl nodded and approached threateningly.

“Why aren’t you in the school at this hours?”

“Because… it’s career day?” Said Pip scared. “I was on my way to the store of Dairy Queen to learn how to be a milk-pony”

“Can you prove your story?”

Pip waved his hoof around, where all the school foals were joining the grownups in their business.

“Okay you can go but stay out of trouble, and her you have my autograph, an authentic autograph from DJP0N3 and a future hero of the…”

But Octavia punched Vinyl on the head and dragged her to the Boutique.

“Stop bothering people and let’s go!”

They finally arrived to the Carrousel Boutique, where Rarity had the patron of the uniforms ready: it’ll be a purple jacket and kepis, underneath a buttoned pink shirt, the buttons were shaped as Twilight’s Cutie Mark, and a violet tie.

“Okay darlings, this won’t take long” said the fashionista. “Let me take the measures I need and in two weeks your uniforms will be ready. This is the first time I have to make an outfit for a formal Guard, I love it, I love it!”

“Thank you” said Derpy shyly.

“It’s an honor” assured Rarity. “And the best part is the fabric, is a creation between Twilight and me that holds a shield-spell of the highest level so it’ll be as useful as any armor”

“Wow, I must say I am impressed” said Octavia.

“Well, you’ll be protecting my friend after all” said Rarity. “Octavia, dear, may I start with you?”

“Sure!”

Rarity took the measures quickly and Octavia went to sit while she waited for her friends.

“Who’s next?” Asked Rarity.

“Me please, I’m starting to get bored” said Vinyl.

Rarity nodded.

“Okay darling, your leg please”

Vinyl presented Rarity her leg and when the fashionista began to take the measures, Vinyl chuckled.

“Yes?” Asked Rarity.

“Oh, sorry, it tickles” apologized Vinyl.

“Oh, then try to hold it for a while darling”

Again Rarity started to take measures when Vinyl chuckled again. Of course as the professional she was Rarity tried to ignore her but suddenly the DJ busted into uncontrollable laughs.

“AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! I CAN’T HELP IT, IT TICKLES!!”

Rarity groaned annoyed.

“I cannot work like this”

“Octavia!” Asked Derpy.

And Octavia punched Vinyl so hard that she fell unconscious.

“Okay, go ahead before she wakes up” said Octavia.

“With pleasure!”

“(So much for domestic violence)” mumbled Lyra to Bon-Bon, who just nodded.

So at the end measures were taken and Octavia had to drag Vinyl back home.

And in the meantime inside Vinyl’s dream:

“VINYL SCRAAATCH, VINYL SCRAAATCH! A HEROINE SHE IS, VINYL SCRAATCH!”

“Oh Vinyl please be mine!” Asks me the Princess of Friendship, my boss. “I’ll promote you to general but please be mine!”

Tavi looks at me scared and confused, I can see the question on her eyes: shall I abandon her for the Princess Twilight? Is she seriously asking that?

“Sorry Princess but this knight already haves her damsel”

And Tavi kissed me full of thankfulness and love. Love for me, her knight in a shiny new uniform.

“Sometimes I wonder what’s she’s dreaming” mumbled Octavia looking at the satisfaction smile on Vinyl’s face.

Author's Note

Okay, this story will be a series of one-shots telling the adventures of this small Guard. Again, this is a spin-off of Chaos the Age of Spike but Spike almost doesn’t appear on the story except for a few cameos.

Read ya’ later!!

The L-Files

IIIIIIIIIIIntroducing the Guard of Friendship!!

A fic brought to you by Dr. Frank’s Waffle House. If you’re for delicious, delicious waffles; just open your mouth and say aaaaaaah…

Tonight’s episode is called:

The L-Files

Papers, papers everywhere, the entire pony’s room (his parent’s basement to be more precise) was filled with encrypted letters, classified documents from the government, history reports of ancient civilization, etc.

Practically everything to prove that humans were real. But the crown jewels were the pony’s collection of all the books from doctor Lyra Heartstrings, the superstar of all the anthropologist circles. Thanks to her discoveries and articles about the lost civilization of humans anthropologists the strongest proof they had against the ‘great conspiracy’ of the crown.

And all the pony wanted was to publish a paper worthy of her, the great doctor Heartstrings. So he spent countless hours polishing and perfecting his work with more discoveries to make the perfect conspiracy-research. But Sweet Pea wasn’t worthy, not yet.

“But one day!” He assured.

Sadly Sweet Pea was never able to publish his perfect article since one fateful day he found an article on the newspaper that he didn’t like:

INTRODUCING THE GUARD OF FRIENDSHIP!

And in the picture of the cover there was her, Sweet Pea’s heroine: doctor Heartstrings. But something was wrong, she was wearing a uniform! A military uniform! Apparently Princess Twilight Sparkle had recruited doctor Heartstrings as a soldier, how was this possible? How was that one of the greatest conspiracy theorist of all times ended up working for the government?

Desperate he began to read the article:
Apparently a the brutal terrorist attack in Ponyville forced several former members of the military division known as the Secret Service to reveal to public light, including notorious anthropologist Lyra Heartstrings.

Sweet Pea frowned, this couldn’t be! According to conspiracy theorist all agents of the Secret Service lived double lives pretending to be something but in reality they were elite soldiers. So all this time the greatest of anthropologists was an alibi for a government puppet?

“No, no! This can’t be! I knew her research would bring her trouble! Doctor Heatstrings have been brainwashed!” Shouted Sweet Pea.

A girl opened the basement door.

“Sweet, mom says dinner is ready. And it’s your turn to do the dishes”

Sweet Pea turned at his sister annoyed.

“Can you please shut up?! I have something important to do!” Complained the unicorn packing his things.

“Going somewhere?” Asked Sweet Pea’s sister. “Are you finally going to move?”

“Ha-ha” said Sweet Pea sarcastically. “I need to save my hero from the claws of the government and avenge her if it’s possible!”

Said that he put on a black suit, and took a briefcase where he put ropes, several hooks, smoke-bombs, dried food and lots of stuff he prepared in case the Crown go after him.

“This may be the most important moment of my life little sister, wish me luck since I’m probably not going back. Or worse, I can be turned into a slave of the system!”

And ran upstairs to face his fate. When he opened the main door the sunlight blinded Sweet Pea for a little (he spent most of his time locked on his basement and barely went outside) but after a while he ran to his mission.

And still on the basement door, the little sister had a sweat drop on her temple.

“He urgently needs a girlfriend”

…

“I don’t get used to this thing of wearing clothes every single day” complained Lyra fixing her tie on her buttoned shirt and then putting on the jacket and the kepi. “It feels weird”

“Says the pony who didn’t stop reminding me that humans wore clothes all the time” mocked Bon-Bon.

“I told you being the ‘human-maniac’ was only my secret identity” said Lyra. “You don’t know how relieved I am for not to revise documents wrote by an idiot who still lives with his parents inventing nonsenses about mythical beings and polishing my I WANT TO BELIEVE plaque”

“I’m glad that you got rid of that thing by the way” said Bon-Bon nodding.

Outside the house, young Sweet Pea was looking the huge amount of documents on doctor Heartstrings’ trash cans. Even a bronze plaque that read I WANT TO BELIEVE.
This was worse that he feared, Sweet Pea had to act fast.

So the pony went to bang the door violently.

“Yes?” Asked Bon-Bon answering the door.

“I need to talk with Doctor Heartstrings immediately!” Shouted the pony. “This whole thing about quitting your research is nonsense! You can’t quit, you’re the one who got closer to expose the Crown!”

Bon-Bon rolled her eyes and shut the door on the pony’s nose.

“Who was it Bonnie?” Asked Lyra raising an eyebrow.

Bon-Bon glared at her.

“Do you really have to ask?” Asked the cream-coated pony.

“I should know this would happen. My papers were life for this conspiracy-morons” shrugged Lyra. “But give them a few months and a new theorist will call their attention and they would leave us alone my love!”

“And in the meantime what? We have to deal with more idiots as him?” Asked Bon-Bon frowning to her wife.

Like answering Bon-Bon’s question, Sweet Pea appeared in a window banging it desperately.

“DOCTOR HEARTSTRINGS! DOCTOR HEARTSTRINGS! I’M A GREAT FAN OF YOUR WORK, DON’T ABANDON HUMAN INVESTIGATION! WE NEED YOU DOCTOR, WE NEED YOU!”

Bon-Bon closed the curtains with patience.

“If we didn’t had monster-proof windows I would worry about him. However, why is so hard to your fans to accept the truth?”

Lyra laughed happily.

“Come on Bonnie! We’re talking about conspiracy-theorists. They cannot accept the reality, they need to believe there’s something else!”

“If they weren’t so annoying I would feel sorry for them” sighed Bon-Bon. “I can’t believe there’s people that idiot out there”

“Ey, remember what you thought of me when you didn’t know I was a spy too?”

Outside Sweet Pea was still banging the door so Bon-Bon sighed.

“That guy isn’t gonna leave, right?”

Lyra shook her head.

“THE TRUTH IS OUT THERE DOCTOR HEARSTRINGS! TRUTH IS OUT THERE!”

“Lyra do something!” begged Bon-Bon.

“Fine, fine” said Lyra going to open the door.

Sweet Pea’s eyes brightened in joy when the minty unicorn went to receive him.

“Doctor Heartstrings! I’ve spent so many years of my time studying your research and doing some of my own! The truth is out there, they exists doctor, they really do exist! I know they have foalnapped and doing horrible experiments on our people before and keep doing it! We can save Equestria Doctor, but only if we work together!”

Lyra looked at Sweet Pea sternly.

“Mister, even if I have a PHD in Equestrian Folklore humans are not subject of my interest. They are a stupid legend ponies from the ancient times used to believe. Now if you excuse me, as soldier of the Royal Guard of Friendship I have things to do. Good day!”

So Lyra went to Twilight’s Palace leaving Sweet Pea frozen.

“Oh no…” Sweet mumbled to himself. “They really brainwashed the doctor! I was hoping they only threatened her but this confirms our worst fears, THE CROWN DOESN’T WANT US TO KNOW!”

Then he ran away while Bon-Bon was just staring at him.

“I hope Lyra knows what she’s doing”

Twilight had just finished breakfast when somepony called at the door.

“Yes?” Asked Twilight answering the door.

“Hi boss!” Said Lyra smiling happily.

“Lyra? What are you doing here this early?”

Lyra shrugged.

“I’m on duty of course! I am your bodyguard for today”

“Lyra I appreciate your concern but I assure you: I’m fine!” Said Twilight. “I don’t need a bodyguard, I never had”

“I know Princess but remember we were just named your new Royal Guard and we have to fulfil our tasks. Sadly Derpy haves to attend her newsstand, Octavia has to practice for a last-minute performance, Bonnie haves to open the candy shop and Vinyl had a presentation last night and you can’t and she’s sleeping so there’s just me left”

But suddenly the minty unicorn’s eyes widened.

“Wow!”

“What now?” Asked Twilight.

“Nothing, I just realized we’re a shame of a Royal Guard. Anyway, here I am”

Twilight sighed.

“Lyra, don’t you have your own business to take care of?”

“Nope, my job was to encode messages between my anthropology books and conspiracy theories. Not anymore so I am here to protect you”

“Lyra, I understand, but I’m not a fan of being followed by a pony everywhere I go!”

“I promise I won’t bother you! Just you do your things and I’ll be patrolling hallways and reading in the library until my shift ends at five o’clock”

Twilight sighed again but let her pass.

“I guess you’re right Lyra. Sorry about my rudeness but I’m not yet used to this”

Lyra smiled gently.

“Don’t worry boss, this is all new for me too. I was trained as a spy, I don’t know anything about being a formal soldier. But we’ll get used to”

So the unicorn left to patrol the hallways, or mostly wander in Twilight’s Palace without anything interesting to report. Or at least she thought so.
When Lyra returned to the main entrance Twilight looked at her with a smile.

“Hi Lyra, have you found something interesting?”

“Just a few things: a green hair, an empty pack of bubble gum, a pen without ink and a wonderful collection of dust”

“And what’s that supposed to mean?” Asked Twilight.

“You need to clean more often. Can’t you hire a bunch of Servants of Friendship? Oh! You can call them ‘Friendly Service’ what do you think?”

Twilight seemed to be a little ashamed.

“I guess you’re right, I’ve been neglect with cleaning since Spike started working as a god of chaos”

Said that the Princess returned to her paperwork and Lyra to her patrolling.

“This is as boring as I thought it would be” mumbled Lyra after a while.

But suddenly a frying pan hit her on the head and everything went black.

When Lyra finally woke up she realized somepony tied her to a chair.

“Officially we’re a shame as a Royal Guard!” Complained thee minty unicorn.

The lyrist looked up, and as she supposed, it was the pony from the morning: green coat, blond mane, and a Cutie Mark of canned peas.

“Doctor Heartstrings” he greeted.

Lyra sighed.

“So I guess you didn’t come for Princess Twilight” said the minty unicorn.

“Miss Heartstrings, I’m Sweet Pea, CEO of Cans & More, the biggest distributer of canned veggies in all Equestria”

She raised an eyebrow.

“The billionaire who still lives with his parents? Seriously?”

“Ey, I pay them rent”

“But you have tons of money, you can buy a condo or whatever you want” argued Lyra.

“Ey, a pony doesn’t get as much money as I do wasting it just like that. My parents charge me a more than reasonable rent and it works for us”

Lyra had to agree with him on that.

“What do you want Sweet Pea?”

“Is not what I want, is what I can do for you. I can fund your research about humans for example. Even hire a few bodyguards in case the Crown tries to silence you again”

“What were you saying about wasting money?” Asked Lyra sarcastically.

“The truth is out there doctor Heartstrings! Humans abducted my older sister when I was five years old. My parents assure she ran away with a coltfriend but I know they were brainwashed by the Crown, Celestia doesn’t want us to know about them but I know they’re real. That’s why I worked too hard for my company and became rich, as one of the main taxpayers of the Crown I’m untouchable, see the genius of my plan?”

Lyra had a sweat drop on her temple, was this guy serious?

“Dude, Sweet Pea, I know a very good psychiatrist. If you were kind enough of releasing me and…”

“Just as I feared they have brainwashed you Doctor Heartstrings!” Shouted Sweet Pea. “Celestia won’t allow us to tell the truth!”

Lyra rolled her eyes annoyed.

“Seriously idiot, stop it already. I am a soldier of the Guard of Friendship and before that just a spy. Don’t take the things I wrote so seriously”

Sweet Pea froze for a little.

“Guard of Friendship? Of course! Celestia won’t be so stupid to take care of people like us in person, no she surely sent her student to brainwash and force you to stay in a position where she can watch you! It all makes sense! Princess Twilight an expert in magic after all… don’t worry doctor, I’ll save you!”

And the mad pony ran downstairs while Lyra just sighed.

“We definitely suck as a Royal Guard”

So she got rid of her ties, it was easy for a member of the Secret Service, and ran after the mad pony before he did something he would regret.

Downstairs Twilight was reading a little before going back to her paperwork when she heard a frenetic trot followed by a:

“STOP! STOP IN THE NAME OF PRINCESS TWILIGHT!”

The Princess frowned.

“Lyra please, don’t you see I’m busy here?!”

But then Twilight saw him, a green pony running towards her with a frying pan. But before Sweet Pea could harm Twilight, Lyra intercepted him and punched him with his own frying pan.

“No, don’t you understand Doctor? She brainwashed you! You are key to find the truth about humans and now you’re working for the government because of her! The government know the truth! The government knows the truth!”

So Sweet Pea got rid of Lyra and escaped running through the main door.

“Lyra what the heck?!” Asked Twilight.

“I wish I could explain boss, I wish I could” said Lyra pressing a small button of her kepi. “Attention all units, a mad pony just attacked Princess Twilight and now is running throuth town, he’s potentially dangerous for himself. Earth-pony, green coat and blond mane! We need to find him before its too late! Do you copy me?”

Bon-Bon, who had just finished attending a costumer, sighed when she got Lyra’s message.

“I knew things won’t end well with the maniac form the morning!” Mumbled the cream-coated pony taking her kepi. “Here’s private Drops, copy. I’ll keep my eyes open, copy”

In her newsstand, Derpy received the message as well and opened the communications channel too.

“This is captain Hooves, copy. Is there anything else we should know about this pony?”

“Nothing, is just an idiot who took a little too serious Lyra’s research about humans, copy” said Bon-Bon.

“Understood” said Derpy starting aerial-recognition of the area.

Octavia was practicing the cello on her garden when she heard the message. Raising an eyebrow she got into the house to change the normal cello for the weaponized one and went back to her garden waiting.
And then she saw Sweet Pea, running all over as wanting to hide from the inexistent ponies behind him (besides the almost harmless Guard of Friendship).

Octavia just placed the bow on her cello.

“You better watch it, it’s charged” warned the cellist.

“What?” Asked Sweet Pea.

So Octavia played a note, that with her hyper-sonic-cello, had a devastating effect sending Sweet Pea to the other side of the road completely unconscious. A few seconds later Derpy landed aside her.

“That was easy” mumbled the gray Pegasus.

“I know” said Octavia shrugging. “What should we do with him?”

“Do you think the boss’ Palace have any dungeons?”

Octavia shrugged at this so in the end the two mares dragged the unconscious earth pony to the Palace where they tied him to a chair along with Lyra and Bon-Bon, who just came to the Palace after hearing what happened with Sweet Pea.

“Seriously, what should we do with him?” Asked Derpy. “Giving him to the Solar Guard?”

“I think a psychiatric hospital suits him better” said Bon-Bon angrily.

Lyra shook her head.

“I don’t know, why don’t we give him what he want?”

Everypony turned to Lyra who smiled confidently.

“Leave it to me, I know the world of the conspiracy-wackos very well and I think I have the perfect solution for this”

When Sweet Pea opened his eyes realized that he was tied to a chair in the middle of a dark room. And right before him, was his now brainwashed idol the Doctor Heartstrings.

“So it’s my turn to be brainwashed” mumbled Sweet Pea in defeat.

Doctor Heartstrings shook her head.

“No moron, nopony had brainwashed me and nopony will brainwash you. Don’t you see what you’ve done? You almost make them find me!!”

Sweet Pea’s eyes widened.

“What?”

“As you heard. The Crown didn’t want me to keep researching about the human phenomenon” explained Lyra. “But since my disappearance would only confirm the existence of a conspiracy, they preferred to attack my credibility among anthropologists by forcing me to accept a fake position in a new Royal Guard. If I didn’t, they would do brainwash me and all my efforts would be for nothing. But I have a plan of my own, this is the perfect chance to investigate them from the inside, but in order to do so I must keep the image of the perfectly under control pony. Do you understand now, Sweet Pea?”

A wide smile appeared on Sweet Pea’s face.

“Oh Doctor Heartstrings, I’m so sorry for doubting of you! Of course the Crown will use such low tricks to keep you quiet, why didn’t I seen it before?”

“Pst!” said Lyra, “As you can see I need to keep a low profile for a while, you won’t believe things I’ve found, and it’s only the tip of the iceberg”

Sweet Pea nodded.

“I’ll be patient Doctor Heartstrings!”

“You better. Now I’ll knock you again and when you wake up you’ll be in my fake boss’s library, understood? So I need you to go without saying a word until I contact you again, since my credibility is now stained I suppose I need to publish my work through other ways”

“Doctor, it will be a great honor!”

“Is always good to find allies you can trust in the world of secrets” assured Lyra. “But please do not contact me again unless it’s absolutely necessary, they’re still watching me!”

Sweet Pea nodded furiously before Lyra knocked him down with a spell.

Then she made a sign to her friends and dragged him to the Castle’s public library where they let him sleep.

“Are we seriously leaving him just like this?” Asked Twilight frowning. “This guy have some serious issues”

“Ey, I know this kind of ponies and believe me if we don’t do this we would never get rid of him” said Lyra. “Besides, reality is boring Princess, it’s nice to believe in something that makes it a little more interesting”

“Fine, as long as he doesn’t attack me again” sighed Twilight. “Now if you excuse me, I need an aspirin”

Author's Note

This is it, I hope you liked it.
You know? It’s kind of entertaining write a story about the background ponies in a new role, and let’s hope you like more of their adventures as a Royal Guard.

Read ya’ later!!