Pony Tales

by Vixie

Rating: everyone
Tags: Comedy, Random, Main 6, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic
Length: 3892

Tales retold with ponies!

Twilight Sparkle wants to film a remake of some stories she had been told in Canterlot High School when she had went through the portal. She decides to cast her best friends as the main characters but it doesn't go as she plans.

Published 2017-02-18 08:40:02 UTC
Last updated 2018-03-02 14:19:32 UTC

Sleeping Beauty

"Three! Two! One! Action!" Twilight yelled into the bullhorn, motioning for Spike, who was being levitated above ground, to switch on the camera. Twilight cleared her throat. "Once upon a time in a land far away... A little princess was born in the kingdom of Canterlot...." She said in her best narrator voice.

The movie was being filmed in Canterlot castle, which Princess Celestia kindly reserved for Twilight. The opening scene was being shot in the ballroom, where every pony was dancing. On the side opposite the door were two thrones, a foal's carriage in between them. In it, was a very unhappy foal. Rarity, to be exact. Twilight had cast a spell on her for the first few scenes of the movie, and she didn't exactly jump on the idea. She angrily sucked on her pacifier, listening to the ponies on either side of her chatting.

Rainbow Dash, the king, cleared her throat. "Awesome party, isn't it?" She asked, her eyes darting around the room nervously as she tried to remember all her lines so she wouldn't get kicked out of the movie.

Fluttershy, the queen, nodded. "It is." She added.

Now, Twilight didn't intend for her movie to heavily suggest that she was a Flutterdash shipper as some would call it. But she was a bit curious to see how everything would turn out. "It was the day little princess Aurarity was born, and all throughout the kingdom was love and joy. Three breezies arrived to give their blessings." She announced, holding a microphone up to her muzzle.

Rarity watched as three breezies flew into the room, struggling as they hauled fake wands the size of them inside as well. "At least it brings the end of this horrid scene closer..." She muttered.

"I... give Aurarity the gift of... Beauty!" The first breezie, dressed in red, groaned as she lifted her wand and flew back with much difficulty, almost falling to the ground.

"I give... Ugh! Aurarity the gift of song!" The second breezie, dressed in blue, carried her wand above her head, her wings frantically flapping as she tried to keep herself in the air.

"I give Aurarity... Geez, couldn't these wands be lighter....? Oh! Um... I give Auarity the gift of..." The third breezie was cut off by the gasps of the party guests.

A black smoke appeared in front of the crib. Out of it rose Trixie. "The great and powerful Trixeficent has arrived!" She announced. "It's a shame you forgot my invitation, after all, I am the life of the party!!"

"What are you doing here?!" Rainbow Dash stood up.

"Twilight told me to act in the movie, remember? I came to the rehearsals." Trixie replied, adjusting the black horns on her head, which Rarity stuck her tongue out at in disgust.

"I know, Trixie. But that's my line, remember?" Rainbow Dash tilted her head in the direction of the camera.

"Hm?" Trixie turned around, seeing Spike hovering behind her. "Oh... Well, umm..." Trixie tapped her chin with her hoof. "I think it was... No... It is..."

Twilight held up a cue card. "I am here to give the foal a... A... What does that say?" Trixie squinted at the card. Twilight face-hoofed, then mouthed some of the words to Trixie. "Oh! Thanks! I am here to give the foal a gift of my own!" She repeated.

Rarity rolled her eyes as Trixie leaned over. "Oh my..." Fluttershy faked shock, watching Trixie gaze into the carriage.

"Wow, Rarity, you look cute as a foal!" Trixie exclaimed, tickling Rarity with her hoof.

"Hmph!" Rarity slapped Trixie's hoof away, spitting out her pacifier, which hit Trixie in the eye.

"Ouch!" Trixie rubbed her eyelid.

"Now listen here, Trixie. I may be a foal right now, but I can still break your spine in half. Now continue, I dare you." Rarity narrowed her eyes angrily.

"Well, somepony needs a diaper change!" Trixie cleared her throat. "I declare that on Aurarity's 16th birthday, she shall prick her hoof on a spindle and die!"

Rarity gasped. "What?!" She was not informed that she would have to die. "I'm too beautiful to die!!" She wailed.

"Tough luck, sister! Great and powerful Trixificent out!" Trixie faded into the black smoke from which she came. "Wait, do I get another scene?" She asked, poking her head out.

"No!" Everypony shouted in unison.

"Aww... Fine!" Trixie pouted and dissipated into the fog, which soon vanished.

The third breezie, dressed in green, flew up to the crib. "My blessing to Aurarity is that she shall not die when she pricks her hoof on the spindle, but she shall fall into a deep, ugh! Sleep..." The breezie was about to tumble backwards, but managed to keep her balance. "A deep sleep that she can only be awakened from by a kiss!"

"Thank you, um..." Rainbow Dash raised her hoof, reading the words she had written on it. "Fa... Fair...y? Fairies? Fairies! Thank you fairies for your gifts to the princess. But for now, I declare that every spinning wheel in the palace be burned to a potato crisp!"

Twilight face-hoofed, but didn't bother correct Rainbow Dash. "So life went on... Aurarity grew up to be a beautiful mare," She said, switching scenes to the garden.

"You can say that again!" Rarity declared, flipping her hair. She was overjoyed to be returned to her normal size.

"It was her sixteenth birthday and Aurarity was out picking flowers." Twilight continued.

"Picking flowers, hm? Well, okay." Rarity levitated her basket as she trotted over to a flower bed. "My, these roses look pretty!" She gasped. "Maybe I can make a flower fashion line!"

Rarity reached out for the rose with her hoof, but immediately withdrew it. "These white roses are absolutely stunning!" She immediately moved over to another flower bed, taking a sniff. She grabbed it, but shrieked in pain. She looked at her hoof, which was bleeding. "Evil!" She pointed an accusing hoof at the rose. She had no idea that there would be thorns on the rose. She turned around, muzzle in the air.

Rarity noticed a green glowing light from a tower. "What? This isn't Rapunzel! And I know better than to look in there! Whatever it is, it's probably evil, I mean, glowing, green? It's a trademark!"

Twilight held up a card reading Just go in!.

"Fine!" Rarity ignited her horn as she teleported into the tower. "It's as if Twilight has a cue card for everything..." She grumbled. She stomped her hoof on the floor.

"Now what am I meant to do?" She asked herself.

"The temptation to touch the spindle was strong... And Aurarity couldn't resist it. She got closer and closer..." Twilight announced, almost in response to Rarity's question.

"You think I want to purposely prick my hoof on a spindle?!" Rarity angrily stared at the spindle, imagining it a rose. "NOPE!" She teleported out, trotting out of the castle.

"Wait!" Twilight shouted, running after her.

"I'm not stupid! Are you trying to make me look like it?!" Rarity asked angrily.

"No! It's just how the story goes."

"Well, maybe the humans are stupid! Prancing around with fingers and toos!"

"Toes." Twilight corrected.

"I don't care! I'm out of here!" Muzzle in the air, Rarity walked off, Twilight following her.

"I think that's the end of this movie..." Rainbow Dash stated.

Fluttershy nodded.

"And you didn't even get to my part!" Applejack and Pinkie complained in unison.

"I can fill in as Aurarity!" Trixie declared.

"Where'd you come from? And how'd you know Rarity quit?" Rainbow Dash asked.

"I was totally not watching you from the chandelier..."

"Then why's there a pack lunch there?"

"No reason! Any ways, I shall be the princess! I will even prick my hoof on the spindle if I have to!"

"Trixie, I'm no element of honesty," Rainbow Dash got off of her throne, walking over to Trixie. "But you definitely couldn't be the princess." She put a hoof on Trixie's shoulder.

"Hmph!" Trixie stomped her hoof on the floor. "The great and powerful Trixie will be back!" She teleported back to her spot on the chandelier, grabbing her binoculars.

Spike turned the camera up to the roof, quickly catching Trixie's attention. "Cut!" She yelled, embarrassed. She turned the video camera off with her magic.

Rapunzel

"Okay, you ready, Fluttershy?" Twilight asked, holding the bullhorn up to her mouth as she spoke.

"Do my mane extensions have to be this long..?" Fluttershy whispered from her tower.

"Yes! It's so that somepony will be able to climb your hair and rescue you from your tower!" Twilight replied.

"Can't we just have stairs?" Fluttershy looked down at Twilight, who was at the base of the tall structure. "And maybe make this a little shorter?" She was getting dizzy just being this high up for a prolonged period of time.

"Then what's the point of your long hair? We have to follow the scripts I brought from CHS perfectly!" Twilight had gotten to take the scripts from the drama class as Canterlot High. "This will be just like the original film! Except for the fact that it's being re-enacted by ponies!"

Fluttershy nodded. "Okay... I'm ready." She had managed to sneak her critters onto the set for moral support. She stroked Angel bunny's fur.

"Good! 1! 2! 3! Go!" Twilight ordered, Spike switching on the camera.

Rainbow Dash flew onto the scene. "Cut!!" Twilight shouted, clearly unhappy. "Rainbow Dash! You aren't meant to be here!"

"Why not?" Rainbow asked.

"It's just like with the tower! If the one meant to rescue Rapunzel can fly, what's the point of her extra long hair!?"

"But you need somepony awesome like me to star in this movie!!" Rainbow protested.

"Well we need an earth pony! Get off the set!"

"Fine! This is a stupid idea anyways." Rainbow huffed, slowly flying back to the dressing rooms.

"Get Applejack out here!" Twilight demanded.

"Do I have to wear this get-up?" Applejack asked, hesitant to leave the dressing rooms.

"Yes!" Stressed Twilight, she was getting a bit irritated.

"You look fabulous, darling. Now go on!" Rarity pushed Applejack out where Twilight could see her.

"Couldn't you have gotten a stallion to do this instead, Twi? Big Mac could've done this." Applejack suggested.

"But Big Mac is always working on the Apple farm. He doesn't have time to be filming this. I also don't want to seem like a FlutterMac shipper! But you're the next best earth pony! So chop-chop! Let's film at least half of the movie by the end of the day!" Said Twilight. "You know the lines, 1! 2! 3! GO!"

Spike turned on the camera again. Applejack sighed. "Hello, Flutterpunzel." Applejack recited a line she thought was from the script. "I shall climb your mane." Applejack continued, with no enthusiasm. She trotted up closer to the tower to take a look at Fluttershy's mane. "Wow, mighty long mane y-... Oh my Celestia! Rarity let you walk onto set lookin' like this?!"

"What's wrong???" Fluttershy asked, checking the top portion of her mane.

"There's a bird's nest in your mane! There are even some rabbits!" Applejack said, parting Fluttershy's mane to get a closer look.

A mortified Rarity was visible poking her head out of the dressing rooms. "Th-that is impossible! I made sure Fluttershy's mane was perfect!" She ran onto the set, looking through the hair before seeing the camera was following her. She blushed profusely, she sheepishly raced back to the dressing room.

Rainbow Dash snickered. "I might have pulled a tinsy tiny prank! That's what you get for not adding a dash of awesome to your movie, Twilight!"

Twilight growled. She turned back to Applejack and Fluttershy, not having the energy to stop and start over again, she motioned to them with her hoof to continue.

"Well, come on down, Fluttersh-! I mean, Flutterpunzel!" Applejack quickly corrected herself.

Fluttershy shook her head. This wasn't at all how the story went. Applejack was meant to climb up her tower, she was meant to hit her with a frying pan, tie her up in her hair and then go out on an adventure. "W-Why don't you climb up my tower instead?" Fluttershy whispered, pretending that her correction was more of a suggestion. "I mean, if you want to..."

"Well, if you don't want to come down, I'll help you." Applejack grabbed the tip of Fluttershy's mane and ran in the opposite direction of the tower. She yanked Fluttershy out of the tower rather roughly.

"Oof!" Fluttershy felt down to the ground, her animal critters gathering at the windowsill of the tower to make sure she was alright.

"Sorry about that, Flutterpunzel. But you seemed to need a little push. Or in this case, a pull." Applejack helped her up.

"It's okay."

"Um. My name is Appleflynn." Applejack quickly tried to remember what the script had said."Not the best name Twilight could've came up with..." Applejack muttered to herself.

Fluttershy froze, she didn't know what to do. They had strayed too far away from the story. "Um... Let's go this way!" She improvised, pointing north.

Twilight face hoofed as she watched Fluttershy running off with her hair trailing behind her, leaving Applejack to stare at the camera. "Wait for me!" Applejack shouted as she followed.

Spike was catching their every move on the camera, trying to hold back a laugh when Angel bunny poked his head out of Fluttershy's mane, obviously not amused. "Spike. Stop laughing. I want this to be a Ponyville hit! It will even be played in Canterlot cinemas. We just need to get this to be perfect!" Twilight grabbed Spike, lifting him up so that they were eye level.

"Got it." He nodded as she dropped him to watch her actors hurrying off set.

"From the top! Fluttershy, fly back up to the tower! Applejack, more expression! And Rainbow Dash, No. More. Pranks! 1! 2! 3! Go!!!" Twilight barked.

Applejack trotted onto the set, proceeding to climb up the tower. "This is harder than I thought." She murmured, her hooves slipping off the stone walls.

"Here, darling. This might help!" A voice called. It wasn't Fluttershy's. Long purple locks were thrown out the window.

"Rarity..." Twilight growled, but tried her best to keep her cool. And this was going somewhat better than before.

Applejack was about to climb Rarity's mane. "Wait! Stop!" She paused. "You're going to ruin my amazing mane-do! Do you know how long it took me to do!?"

Applejack put all four of her hooves back on the ground. "Then what do you want me to climb?!"

"Well I don't know. Maybe a ladder?!"

"But that's not how the story goes!" Applejack finally realized that she was playing her part wrong before. "Oh! Now I remember! The script said to climb her hair by deceivin' her into thinkin' it's her evil stepmother who she doesn't know is evil!"

"Now you remember? Now?! I give up! I am not making this movie! None of you know how to act! I quit! I quit, I quit, I quit!" Twilight yelled, stomping out of the building.

"Yeah, I think we ticked Twilight off..." Rarity admitted.

"And we didn't even get to my part!" Pinkie complained, wearing a black curly wig and bouncing onto set despite the frown on her face.

"This is going viral..." Spike looked over the video her took, trying to stifle his laughs.

The Little Mermaid

Pinkie adjusted the red wig on her head, humming. "Gummy, you make such a cute little crab!"

Gummy nibbled on the red costume he had to wear. He did not like it and wished he could throw it in a bonfire to burn.

"I'm so happy I get the leading role!" Pinkie cleared her throat. "Part of your-"

"Okay, places, everyone!" Twilight yelled. "I only rented this out for two hours, so get to it!"

Rarity followed Rainbow Dash out, making small adjustments. "Alright, remember who you are and your lines?"

Rainbow Dash nodded. "You can't go to the pony world, blah blah blah."

"No, that's later. Right now, you're just a background pony." Rarity said. "Just a generic civilian."

When they were all in their positions on stage in front of the ocean backdrop, Twilight checked them all off a list. "Wait, where are Pariel's sisters?"

Applejack laughed. "Wow, 'Pariel'. That's very creative." She whispered to Fluttershy.

"I think she did her best...." Fluttershy shifted uncomfortably in her long black dress, which ended in tons of tentacles. "I mean, Ursashy isn't that bad..."

"But really, Eric Jack? Why do I always have to play a stallion?!"

"Hey! Pariel's sisters on set, now!" Twilight yelled.

Maud Pie stepped onto the set, the rest of the Pie sisters following close behind.

"Ugh... Why do we have to do this stupid movie?" Limestone groaned.

"Because we needed more cast members!" Twilight replied. "Now, take one!"

Pinkie stood still for a moment. "Uh... I want to go to the surface, Gummy- I mean, Crabby."

"Cut!" Twilight shouted. "Crabby? It's Gummybastian! And Fluttershy, get your critters off set! Rainbow, you're meant to be in the background."

"Oh, come on! I'm too awesome to be in the background." Rainbow whined. She was standing closest to the camera, an obvious background pony no-no.

"You'll get a bigger part in like, a minute. Just be patient." Twilight made a motion for Rainbow to move back.

"I can't be patient!"

Twilight sighed. "Rarity, take her backstage and make sure she doesn't come out until it's her turn. Good thing I brought backups... Come on, guys!"

"I can't believe we get to be in a movie!" Derpy said as she flew onto set.

Bon-Bon nodded. "It's just so exciting!"

"I heard this movie is based on one about humans..." Lyra whispered.

Twilight cleared her throat. "You guys already know how to be background ponies, right?"

"We majored in it in college and even wrote a book about it." Octavia held up a book titled How to be a Background Pony.

"Just do your thing, okay?" Twilight said.

Vinyl nodded. They all moved back behind Pinkie and pretended to be talking.

"I want to go to the surface, Gummybastian! I keep finding these... Thingies... And I think they're from the pony world? Is that my line?" Pinkie asked.

Twilight shook her head. "Cut! You say 'I wish I could go up to the surface! Life up there must be more interesting than down here'."

"Uh, Twilight, I don't think that's how it goes." Lyra interrupted. "I went and watched the actual movie, you know."

"I know. I just made a few changes, you know, to make it slightly shorter and stuff. You know what, let's just skip to the 'Under the Sea' part, okay. Since Gummy can't sing, everypony will."

Half a song later...

"Wait! You're all off pitch and haven't memorized the parts!" Twilight yelled.

"Well, we didn't get any scripts..." Derpy said.

Twilight face-hoofed. "You guys are off the hook, but you," she pointed at her friends, "were meant to practice. It's one thing to get the words wrong and it's something else to be completely off pitch. After all of the the times we randomly broke out in song, and you can't even sing right. Seriously, half the time we just did improv."

"S-Sorry... My voice is a bit off today, Twilight..." Fluttershy whispered.

"Ugh... For now, just lip-sync. I'll cast a voice changing spell and sing it myself. Now, let's do all of that swimming choreography stuff." Twilight said as she cast an anti-gravity spell.

At that moment, everypony in the room began to float, except for Spike and the camera, because they were glued to the floor. ~~Dragon care's probably coming for Twilight...~~

"Lip-syncing, got it?" Twilight yelled.

Nopony responded. They were too busy bumping into each other and screaming to be put down. Derpy and Fluttershy were the only ones who managed to not do somersaults in the air.

Suddenly, the lights fell, hitting poor Lyra and Bon-Bon on the heads. Rainbow Dash zoomed onto set, doing a few tricks in the air. "My turn now, right?" She asked Twilight.

"You made the lights fall, didn't you?!" Twilight yelled, levitating the shattered pieces off the set.

Rainbow Dash nodded, still flying around. "Who else could figure out how to do it?"

Twilight rolled her eyes. "Okay, we need to take a break." She undid the anti-gravity spell.

Everyone fell simultaneously. The weight of them all made the floor crack.

"Not the best way to do that..." Twilight whispered to herself. "S-Sorry, everypony!"

They all groaned in response.

"Wow, this is hilarious!" Rainbow Dash laughed.

"Rainbow, ponies are getting hurt!" Rarity said, pulling herself up.

"Not my fault. It's the egghead's." Rainbow remained in the air, humming to herself. "Wait, I bet I can do a Sonic Rainboom in here!" She said suddenly.

Everyone's eyes widened. "Wait! No! Don't do it!" They shouted in unison, but Rainbow didn't listen.

She flew around the set a few times until she gained more speed, then, with one final push, she did a Sonic Rainboom right into the set.

Twilight's mouth hung open. "Oh... My... Celestia..."

One ambulance ride later...

"I'm so, so sorry!" Twilight said to the room of injured cast members. "But actually, it wasn't my fault. It was Rainbow who did it. I mean, I did do the anti-gravity spell, but it was the Sonic Rainboom that got you guys in here!"

Lyra groaned. "I think I broke all four of my legs..."

Bon-Bon was knocked out on the bed next to her.

"I got a muffin!" Derpy exclaimed. She ate her muffin happily.

"Wait, where'd you get that?" Rarity asked.

"I have muffins stashed all over Ponyville!" Derpy replied.

Pinkie gasped. "I have stuff stashed all over Ponyville too! Stash buddies!" The two ~~high-fived~~ high-hoofed (?).

"I hope I'm not here for too long... A-Angel Bunny must be so hungry..." Fluttershy whispered.

Rainbow Dash suddenly opened her eyes. "That was awesome!" She tried to sit up, but winced in pain and lay back down. "Wait, what happened? Why are we in the hospital?"

"What do you think?" Everyone said at the same time.

Nurse Red Heart opened the door and walked in. "Okay, so can you all tell me how this all happened?"

Twilight pointed to Rainbow. "She decided to do a Sonic Rainboom, but crashed right into everypony."

"C'mon, egghead, just admit it was pretty cool." Rainbow seemed quite pleased with herself. "Wait, what about that anti-gravity spell? Wasn't it your fault?"

"Uh..." Twilight looked away. "Well, it only hurt a few ponies. It didn't get them hospitalized."

Nurse Red Heart cleared her throat. "You should probably leave them to rest. They're in good hooves, okay?"

Twilight nodded as she walked out. "They'll be fine, right?"

"Definitely. Oh, and there's somepony waiting for you."

"For me?" Twilight trotted into the waiting room to see none other than Filthy Rich. "Oh, h-hi, sir."'

Filthy Rich stared at her for a moment, narrowing her eyes. "I saw what you did to the set I let you rent out. You'll have to pay up."

"How much?"

"About ninety thousand, five hundred, thirty-five bits."

Twilight's eyes widened. "Can I pay you back next year?"