If I Look Back

by GeekySonic

Rating: everyone
Tags: Slice of Life, Alternate Universe, Romance, Drama, Equestria Girls
Length: 3035

3 months ago, Sunset Shimmer returned to Equestria. Today, I'm following her.

Sunset Shimmer was the only person who could really "get" Twilight Sparkle. Having so many friends is great, honestly. But having Sunset was just… better. But she went home.

After months of waiting and serious debate, Twilight decides that she needs to see Sunset again. And there's only one way to do that.

Published 1970-01-01 00:00:00 UTC
Last updated 2017-02-19 04:40:01 UTC

The only chapter

Here I am, standing at the end of the world. My skin crawls with an icy feeling, despite it being midday. I'm nervous. I'm really nervous. I'm about to do something crazy: I'm about to go to another universe.

That simple, right?

A year ago, the things I've seen and experienced probably would have seemed like something out of a fantasy novel. I discovered scientific anomalies at a small high school, where I also happened to meet six peculiar girls. The anomalies, I later learned, were the result of something so ridiculous and far-fetched that sometimes I still can't believe it: magic.

Pure, inhuman magic. Boundless to every law of nature, and even reality. Magic with the capability to create, and to destroy. How do I know all of this? Well, I used it. And boy, did it feel good. I was a goddess. Only, there was one problem. All the magic I used? It wasn't mine.

The magic came from a separate dimension, and it stemmed from ancient artifacts known as the Elements of Harmony. The Elements latched on to those six girls I met, since they were the closest to their original owners from the alternate dimension. And when I absorbed all of that magic, it transformed me.

No... it revealed something. Something that still makes me ashamed to think of. I call it Midnight Sparkle.

One of the girls, Sunset Shimmer, was special. See, she also came from the alternate dimension. What makes her so special, from what I can gather, is that she is this world's equivalent to the Bearer of the Element of Friendship. In the presence of the five, Kindness, Laughter, Generosity, Honesty, and Loyalty, the sixth is revealed. So essentially, I was stealing magic from her.

It took me a long time to process.

You would think that after I used such a dangerous tool so selfishly, they would have had me locked up in Tartarus (no, really. They can do that). Instead, Sunset offered to be my friend. I know how ridiculous that sounds. But it actually kind of scared me. I remember all the confliction I felt.

Why would she want to be friends? Why should I accept? What if it's a trick? What if it's the truth? What if it doesn't work?

What if it does?

They forgave me. I tried to take away everything they knew and loved, and they forgave me. They didn't fully trust me for some time, and I completely understand why. Except for Sunset.

I switched schools to be with my friends, even though I didn't fit right in. But every time I felt "out", there would always be that knowing look in Sunset's eyes. A look that said she knew exactly what I was going through. She helped me.

A wink, a friendly nudge, an arm across my shoulders. She was always doing something. I think it was purely an accident, but we got a little... close. It seemed like nothing at first.

When she touched me, the contact would last just a second longer than normal. When we walked home, she came all the way down to my house, then went home. If I had to stay after school to work, she'd stay with me. I clung to her because she was so strong, and it really seemed like she wanted me to be strong, too.

One day, it just happened. I honestly can't remember what led up to it. I think we were talking about our results on a chemistry test. I said something that for once wasn't a harsh dig at myself. She smiled her perfect smile. And she kissed me.

On the cheek, of course. Nothing quite so dramatic. She still smiled, as if nothing had happened. Had something happened? I really wanted it to happen. And that's when I realized it: I seriously had a crush on Sunset Shimmer. And if I wanted it to happen, I had to make it happen.

Easier said than done. It took me over a month of failed attempts, but eventually I asked her out. And you know what she said? She said yes.

I don't think I had ever been so ecstatic. Our first date was to a library, surprise surprise. I couldn’t think of anything charming, or sweet. So we just sat in a lounge chair together, reading old fiction hardbacks at our own pace. I think she liked it.

Things progressed pretty slowly. I was new to all of this social stuff (and dating? Ha! I thought maybe I'd start dating when I'm thirty). But it was nice. But all good things must come to an end. Right?

Sunset got a message from the people in her world. They needed her to come back. And when this world's version of Sunset Shimmer transferred to our school, well, there was really no reason to stay.

Except me, some tiny, hopeful voice inside of me begged. You have me, don't you?

The day we said goodbye, she stopped in front of me last. She hugged me; a hug that lasted a blissful four seconds.

"I'm gonna miss you," Sunset smiled. I tried to return it, but she could easily tell there was no heart in the meager curve of my lips. She slipped off her backpack. "Here, I got something for you."

She dug out an old, weathered tome. On it was the faded symbol of the sun. I looked at her curiously. Sunset grinned, then did something amazing. She kissed me. For real this time. As slow and awkward as it was, I still felt dumbfounded.

She kissed me.

"When it begins to glow, turn to the last page." And with that, she was gone. Her image evaporated into the stone statue in front of the high school as she was warped home.

I waited. Almost a whole day, I sat in my room, staring at that book. After an eternity of anxiously focusing on it, the book flashed a light pink color. I leaped for it. Spike silently watched as I desperately flipped to the back. All of the pages contained unreadable scribbles appearing in fancy golden ink. All of them, but the bottom of the very last page.

Twilight, nothing can ever replicate the feelings I feel for you. I am now home, but I will always have a piece of me left behind. Maybe one day when my duties are done, I may return. Whatever happens, know that you will always have a place in my heart. I can’t wait to see you again, my little nerd.

Sunset

I came back to the statue whenever I could. When Rainbow Dash and this world's Sunset began dating, I came every day. I came every day, just like today, and sometimes my mind wandered.

And I guess my mind is wandering a bit too much today, because oh boy, I'm really about to do this.

I'm worried that someone might see me. But I approach the statue anyway. The wind is gently pushing at my back, as if urging me to jump straight in. I could. I reach a hand out, and I tenderly push it into the side of the statue.

The concrete bends and contorts like Jell-O as my hand enters. I gasp at how cold it feels. It feels like what I would imagine dipping my hand in mercury would be like. On the other side of the portal, I see the outline of a hoof where my hand should be. This is it. I have to do this.

I hold my breath and close my eyes. Knees locked, I let myself fall forward. I feel my body stretched and tangled like taffy. I try to scream, but my lungs have no air to produce sound. I am suddenly terrified. Just as thoughts of doom enter my mind, I resume my fall.

I slam onto a hard, cold surface. I stay on the floor, dazed. When the stars stop dancing around my eyes, I try to stand up. Then I immediately fall on my back. I roll over to try again, but my back keeps trying to arch to lift my torso up on my hind legs.

Oh yeah, I'm also a pony, in case I didn't mention it earlier. I'm in Sunset's homeworld of Equestria. After struggling to stand on four legs, I look around. I'm in a giant room made of a gemstone material. There are two thrones in the very back, not far from where I fell in.

The portal, I see, is a mirror in this world. I stop to examine myself while I'm looking at it. I'm smaller, that's for sure. My coat is a lavender hue, and my hair- mane, excuse me- is still the same. I am pleased to notice that my glasses are still on my person, unlike my clothes.

Wait, where are my clothes?!

I eep as I whip around to make sure that there's nobody else in here but me. Despite my wobbly legs, I scurry out of the room, tail tucked between my hind legs. It takes a while, but I find a suitable amount of cloth in a broom closet to fashion into a sort of cloak. I'm more satisfied with the situation, but that still leaves one problem.

"Where is Sunset?"

I carefully inch across the floor. I assume I'm in a castle; possibly the famed Crystal Castle that Sunset's talked about. I feel my ear twitch when I hear the sounds of voices conversing. I freeze, not knowing what to do. I have no explanation as to why I'm here. I begin to panic as the armored figures of two stallions approach me.

"-and then boom! I'm sitting there with my toothbrush still in my mouth, on the table while the King and Queen are eating breakfast!"

"No!" I hear incredulous laughter.

"Yeah, I just waved and said, 'Your Majesties'. Heh heh, that kid is getting way too mischievous. One time- Your Highness!"

Both stallions, white in color, snap to attention when they see me. I don't move a muscle.

"Your Highness, are you alright?"

I ogle at them. Do they... oh, that's right! This world's Twilight Sparkle is a princess. Maybe I can use that.

"I-I'm looking for Sunset Shimmer."

"Of course, Your Highness. The royal tutor is in the Crystaller's chamber."

I nod. "And... can you tell me where that is?"

The guards, I'm guessing they're guards, look at me in confusion. "Up the stairs at the end of the hall, second door to the left."

I quickly say thanks, and scoot my way down the hall. Stumbling over my own hooves, I climb up the stairs. As I grow near the top, I hear different voices laughing. I spill into the new hall, then stagger to the second door on the left, where the voices emanate from. I smile when I realize I'm not imagining Sunset's laugh.

"Pretty soon she's gonna be teaching you, little bro."

"Oh, she'd like that, wouldn't she? But age spells are a level 10 class, and you are still in level 6."

I look inside. A pinkish little girl with swirly violet and blue hair is blowing a raspberry at an orange Unicorn with an official-looking cloak and... what's he got going there? A soul patch? He pushes his round glasses up on his face while the little girl rocks in her seat, her horn glowing blue. And right beside them, there she is.

Sunset looks... happy. She's laughing as she looks through a booklet, probably a test given to the little girl. Her mane looks as luscious as ever, and her body almost seems to glow from her coat's golden color. I feel a confused, primitive part of me point out that she's still attractive, even as an equine.

The last thing I notice is a pair of powerful wings accompanying her horn. My jaw drops. I thought she said she was a Unicorn. In my stupor, I fail to see the girl point at me.

"Auntie Twilight!" She bolts out of her desk to tackle me in a hug. "Auntie Twilight, look what I can do!"

Her horn glows for a minute, and a moving image of what looks like a marketplace simply appears mid-air. I stare at it in shock, then at the two ponies. The stallion looks puzzled, but Sunset looks at me with... something. There's amusement, and a little surprise. But there's something else. Meanwhile, the little girl (who also has both wings and a horn) is still gazing up at me, puffing her chest in pride.

"Isn't my projection spell awesome?"

"Uh... yes. Yes, very awesome."

The girl pumps a hoof in success, whooping victoriously.

"Alright, alright now," The Unicorn tries to settle her. "Come now, Flurry Heart. You still have one chapter to finish before you can call it a day."

Sunset sets the packet down. "Okay, Sunburst. I'm going to see what... Princess Twilight needs."

She trots over to me, then helps me stand.

"Uh... hi."

That's not how I imagined my reunion with Sunset.

"Couldn't wait, huh?" Sunset snickers as she leads me out. I laugh nervously.

"So... I thought there were only three Alicorns. They giving out wings like candy now?" I cringe inwardly at my attempt at humor.

Sunset laughs again. Oh, how I have missed that sound. "I think I earned them while I was still in your world. And... wow, it's just really weird to me to see a Twilight with no wings."

I scrunch my nose. "Oh, pfft. So who were those two?"

"My brother Sunburst and his student, Flurry Heart. Technically, your niece."

I stop. "Niece?" Something clicks in my head. Cadence told me that she and Shining Armor had a surprise. That means... "Oh my goodness, I'm going to be an aunt?!"

"...Surprise?"

I laugh in amazement. "Wow."

We're already down in the room where I entered. Sunset casts a look at the portal. She sighs.

"Well, it was good to see you, Twi. But I can't go back yet."

My ears droop. "Oh. No, I mean, I figured. I just- I missed you, so I thought I would visit..."

"No, that's great!" Sunset smiles. "I'm glad you did. I've been helping Princess Twilight run Celestia's School for Gifted Unicorns. One of the best classes in years. But uh, Professor Glimmer and Professor Lulamoon can make it a pain sometimes."

I return Sunset's smile. "How so?"

Sunset jerks her head towards a stone table. She motions for me to sit down. "Well, I should start with where those two stage monkeys came from. You see, there was this old town way out in the middle of nowhere..."

"...and then she said, 'What do you mean I can’t mind-control the students to show up on time? You might as well tell me that I can't read their thoughts to tell when they're cheating!'"

I grip my sides as I laugh, sliding back in my chair. I've been sitting here for almost an hour, just listening to Suset. When she's done with her story, I catch her up on everything that's happened back home (which isn't much). It took me a while, but I found out that time goes by faster in Equestria.

The way she moves, the way she talks. Sunset is definitely older. I guess they just age faster in this world. My thoughts on this are interrupted when I feel Sunset place a hoof over mine.

"Thank you for coming, Twilight." There's that perfect smile again.

I blush and stammer. "It-It's nothing. I just wanted to see you."

"Yeah. Me too."

Is she doing it? Are we gonna? Her eyes are shut, she's leaning in, her lips have that kiss me look to them. Oh boy, how do I do this with this darn muzzle?

Do horses kiss? Oh, whatever. Just do it.

Before we make contact, the large doors at the front of the room open with a heavy creak. We both look as in walk two Alicorns with larger frames. One of them is silky white, the other is a dusky blue. They both stop their chatting to look at us. Sunset begins to sweat as she blushes furiously.

"Human Twilight, human Twilight!" She sputters as she lifts my cloak in a waving fashion. "No wings, see?"

The blue Alicorn, eyes narrowed, says nothing. The white Alicorn gives an amused smile.

"I see we are joined today. Princess Sunset, would you please introduce your guest?"

Sunset titters nervously. "Uh, Princess Luna, Princess Celestia, this is my girlfr- marefriend- marefriend?" She shakes her head. "This is my partner, Twilight."

"Charmed." The blue Alicorn mutters darkly.

"Your Majesties," I bow my head respectfully (feeling a tad silly knowing that I know these two as principals). I turn back to Sunset. "I, uh... I should probably go."

Sunset nods. We awkwardly push away from the table and briskly trot over to the mirror. Sunset pulls me into a hug before I can step through.

"I'll come back. I swear."

I smile. "I know you will."

Our lips meet briefly, in a very uninspired (but still enjoyable) kiss. I think I hear that blue Alicorn growling. I blush, wishing for intimacy that I know I'll have to wait for. Before I jump through, I whisper softly.

"Goodbye."

"You do realize that you risk much by continuing to be with her?"

Sunset looked up at Celestia. The humored look on her face was now replaced with a serious, questioning one.

"Yes."

Sunset watched silently as Luna left with (Princess) Twilight. They booped muzzles as they retreated up the spiral staircase, giggling as their tails entwined. They looked so happy. They were what each other needed.

"You may very well ruin your mind and body if you travel back and forth between our worlds. You cannot have it both ways."

"I know. But... she's worth it."

Celestia pursed her lips, then nodded. "Very well. I hope in the end that you reach the decision that is best for you."

"Yeah," Sunset said absently as she stared at the mirror. "Me too."