The only chapter really but it's in two parts
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The only chapter really but it's in two parts
There was once (upon a time) a sheep. A sheep who was fluffy. Very fluffy. So fluffy that his friends would constantly press up against him (his friends were ponies, by the way) and say, "Bro! I seriously can't believe you--"
And then the sheep would always cut them off and say, "DO YOU EVEN KNOW how many times I've heard that, please just get off me and I don't want to see you ever again. Jeeze, the nerve of some people." And then they would leave.
The sheep had also a strange characteristic usually reserved to ponies: its wool was colored. Not only was it colored, but it was colored orange. Orange, more or less like that pony from the town, Applejack, who was well known for locking up his ruminant compatriots and turning them into slaves. He was, in essence, an orange, fluffy sheep.
One day, this sheep was walking around town. All the foals would point to him and say to their mothers, "Mom! Look at that sheep! It's so fluffy I'm gonna die!"
Their mothers would retort, "No, Skywhistle," or, "No, Sacred Horsefly," or perhaps, "No, Freddie," depending on the foal in question's name, "that's not just a fluffy sheep. That's an orange, fluffy sheep. He is unusual, and he should be shunned."
The foals would ask, "Mommy, what's 'shun'?"
The mothers would say, "I'll tell you later." But they never said anything to the sheep. They never approached him and asked, "Why are you orange? Why are you so fluffy? What effects do these factors have on your psyche? What can I, as a fellow sentient being, do for your well-being?" No, they would never say that, mainly because that would be a weird thing to say, but perhaps also because they had no particular concern over this unusual sheep.
And so it was that the sheep walked. He just wanted to buy a few carrots and then go home.
"Excuse me," asked the sheep, "mister greengrocer, do you have any carrots?"
The greengrocer was facing the other way, organizing his tomatoes. "Indeed, sir, I have the finest carrots you could possibly wish for! Let me just..." upon which he turned and saw that his interlocutor was no mere pony, but instead was a sheep, and not only a sheep, but a fluffy sheep, and not just only a fluffy sheep, but an orange, fluffy sheep at that. "... I believe I have some business to attend to." He went inside his tent and came back out, bearing a sign with the inscription, "CLOSED".
The sheep had no recourse but to leave. After a few seconds, the sheep turned to look, and saw that the greengrocer had removed the sign and was already serving another customer, a large, blue pony with a pink mane that looked like the frosting on a cupcake. "Hello, Mrs. Cake! What can I do for you?" He cared not for this customer nor for the deceitful salesman, so he flopped his ears down, protecting them from further sonic intrusions, and brisked off.
THAT WAS THE END OF PART ONE
HERE'S PART TWO
The orange, fluffy sheep ambled miserably along the creek. He was thinking of the horrible despair that traversed his life in its entirety, all throughout. He could not for one second push his thoughts apart from the idea that maybe, just maybe, he was not supposed to have been born. Or, if he was, that he was not supposed to have been born neither orange, nor fluffy nor a sheep, although he carefully considered the possibility that being born any combination of two of these characteristics would be preferrable to having been born with all three. Perhaps just one, if he was feeling lucky. But he was not.
As tears rolled slowly down his face, pushed downwards with every one of his steps, he heard the noise such as that of an automobile behind him, in the distance. Turning his head, he saw a weird truck approaching. Slowly approaching. Approaching... slowly. At a slow pace. Every second that passed, it seemed like the truck was going backward but forward simultaneously, which ah what the hell this description is terrible.
There were three ponies on the truck: a small yellow pony with a bow on its mane, a regular-sized orange pony with a hat and a large, bulky red pony, a stallion, with a yoke. The orange pony popped out of the side of the truck and said, "Hey there, fella! My name's Orange Twist. What can I do you for?"
The orange, fluffy sheep started. No one had ever talked to him directly before, unless it was with the purpose of mocking him, hurting him or dismissing him. Perhaps to give him orders, but that's it really, I can't think of any other situations like that.
" 'Scuse me," said the orange pony.
"Zuh buh wuh?!?" said the orange, fluffy sheep.
"I said 'scuse me. My name's Orange Twist. Is there something the matter? You are reading this in Applejack's voice."
"Oh. No. I'm fine, really," the sheep (the orange, fluffy sheep) said while sucking in a tear like Fluttershy in that episode. Can you even do that, that's so freaky.
"Really? 'Cause I reckon you're mighty sad there."
"Oh, really. What tipped you off?"
"Them tears on your face."
"Oh."
"Y-y-yup," said the red pony. If he had been to continue speaking, he would have said something along the lines of, 'Cause it's really sad to see an honest-lookin' fella all sad like that, why don't you come back to the farm with us so's we can treat you to dinner, but he didn't, because that would have been out of character.*
"Okay, then. Bye."
"See ya, partner."
Then he left.
Everything remained as it always was and the orange, fluffy sheep died a lonely death under a bridge or something.**
* But he talked in Applebuck Season what the f--
** In an alternate universe, the sheep became a moderator on an Internet forum about ponies. Try to guess which one!
