What was she doing here? What in Celestia’s great, merciful name was she doing here!?
Limestone Pie was sitting in a plainly furnished, sparsely lightened office. Well, calling this dump an office would have been an exaggeration. The entire neighborhood had certainly seen better days, but this big, rundown apartment building was a prime example of what these parts of Manehatten that weren’t frequented by tourists and camera teams looked like.
And in between of it all was she. Sitting on an old office chair which she was sure had been picked up from a pile of bulk garbage some time ago, leaning over an old, sticky wooden desk and looking at an ancient telephone standing in front of her.
She knew what she was doing here. She knew exactly why she had come here, and knew all too well what would happen when the phone in front of her would ring and she would pick up.
Only that she really, really, really didn’t want any of this to happen.
To be fair, ever since leaving her family’s farm and moving to Manehatten, she had to lower her sights every now and then, but this, she was sure, was an all new low for her.
Really, the mere thought of what she was about to do made her want to jump out of the next window - her job at Jolly Burgers seemed like a walk in the park compared to this.
Mother of Celestia, what if someone would find out? What if one of her colleagues from Jolly Burgers or … or her roommate Bright Bulb would show up? Or even worse … what if, due to some unfortunate play of fate, her family would somehow find out about her new job? Marble would probably faint from embarrassment, Pa would teach her a lesson about indecent behavior, and Ma … Ma would simply shake her head, and wonder where she had gone wrong with this daughter of hers.
B-but none of this would ever happen, right? Nopony would find out about it! She would do this, get those fifty bits, and leave as if nothing had happened - piece of cake, right?
Heck, she was a Pie; one of the toughest mares in all of Manehatten, and she’d be damned if she was going to be afraid of a simple phone call!
No, she would do this! She would earn those bits with her dignity intact and her head held up high!
With that resolution, she sat up on her chair, ready to face the world - and promptly flinched with a soft shriek as the phone in front of her rang.
She hesitated for a moment, biting her lip, but then shook her head. She could do this! She would do this! The only one making it awkward was her … right?
Feeling her heart pound, Limestone Pie reached forward, picked up the phone and hesitantly led it to her ear.
“Hello?” she wanted to begin like any other phone call, but then, remembering who was at the other end of the line, cleared her throat and, just like her instructor had demonstrated to her a few minutes ago, said, “I-I mean … hello there, sexy! What can…” she couldn’t contain a cringe at the name given to her by her instructor, “Juicy Curves do for you today?”
She clenched her teeth, fighting with herself to not let her head drop onto the desk in frustration as the true nature of her job became clear to her once again.
Yes, phone sex. She never knew she could sink this far, and was fairly sure she had hit rock bottom with her job at Jolly Burgers, but as it turned out, things could always get worse. And after realizing that what she earned at Jolly Burgers wasn’t enough to cover her expenses, she had come to the sobering conclusion that she needed a second job - and since her job at the burger joint ate up most of her daytime, and the range of jobs available at night time was rather limited, she had found herself here earlier this day - working for one of Manehatten’s least successful, shadiest and generally worst providers of phone sex.
“H-hello…” a buck’s voice from the other end of the line interrupted her thoughts, bringing her back to the unpleasant, cigarette smoke-filled and sparsely lit reality. “Are you … Juicy Curves? The juicy curves?” from the sound of rustling paper at the other end of the line, Limestone concluded he must be looking at a magazine. “With the cute blonde mane, that nice braided tail and that…” she could hear him lick his lips, “That sweet, delicious, juicy plot?” A shudder ran through Limestone’s body at the thought of what the buck must be doing right now. She knew what her customers were doing -heck, this was what these services were there for, after all- but that didn’t mean that she liked it.
“Of course … sweetie.” she reluctantly cooed back, making a serious effort to make her normally rough voice sound at least somewhat seductive - or at least what she thought would be seductive. As much as she hated to admit it, she had never really had any serious experiences with bucks, and what little sex ed she had received from her parents, along with a few pages from those romance-novels her sister Marble used to read, wasn’t quite enough to teach her how to properly seduce a buck.
Holding back another cringe, she lowered her head, looking at the piece of printed paper lying ready in front of her, telling her what to say, and reluctantly added, “I’m all yours, baby.”
“Oooh yeah…” the buck cooed back, giving a relieved sigh. These thumping sounds coming from the phone caused some images to pop up in Limestone’s head which she hoped to forget again as soon as possible, “Say, baby, what are you doing?”
“I, uh…” Limestone began, cocking an eyebrow, “Nothing important, really. Just sitting here and…” but she cut herself off as her look went back to her little crib and she read, “I mean … I’m sitting here, all lonely and horny, thinking about you, and all … what you would do to me if you were here.”
“Yesss.” the buck sighed with pleasure, and another shudder ran through Limestone’s body as the thumping increased. “What are you wearing, sweetie?”
“Me?” Limestone asked, cocking an eyebrow and quickly looking herself over. “Nothing.” she admitted truthfully.
“...oh.” the disillusioned reply wasn’t long in coming, and the thumping stopped. “Well then…” the buck started over after a few seconds; the thumping began again, though slower this time, “Then … why don’t you put on some lingerie for me, sweetheart? It sure must be getting cold, all naked and alone.”
“No it’s not.” she cut him off soberly, “Hell, what are you expecting? I’m a pony; I don’t normally wear any clothes.”
That prompted another period of silence from the buck at the phone, followed by a frustrated sigh. “Are you serious!?” He finally asked, sounding surprisingly aggravated. “I’m paying ten bucks per minute to talk with you, so the least you could do is give me some sort of show!”
“Look, I’m trying, okay!?” Limestone snapped back. “It’s my first day in this job, and being seductive with somepony you can’t even see simply is damn hard!”
“Then get me someone with a little more practice!” the buck snarled, sounding legitimately angry now. “Seriously, you guys cost me half my monthly wage, so at least give me some sort of relief in return and don’t leave me blue-balled with a damned incapable amateur!”
“Oh you … !” Limestone growled; her head was getting red with anger as well. Not only that this buck had criticized her, now he was getting rude as well!? Hell no! Not on her watch! “Who do you think you are, huh?” she snapped at him, clenching her teeth in anger, “Look, I’m a hard-working mare, just trying to get by. I need this job, and I won’t let myself get in trouble because of some hoity-toity Manehatten buck who thinks he’s too good for me!”
The buck at the other end of the line took in a breath to counter, but Limestone cut him short. “I’m not done yet!” she clarified angrily. “I don’t care who you are, or what you are, but spending half your monthly wage on porn does not make you superior to me! I’m a mare like anyone else, and just because you’re paying a small fortune to hear me talk does not give you the right to talk to me like that!”
“B-but…”
“Don’t you dare contradict me, mister!” she hissed sharply, “Trust me, you can consider yourself lucky that I’ve only heard your voice so far, and that there’s a telephone between us. Because if you were standing in front of me, I swear I’d make you regret ever having talked to me!”
That made the buck at the other end of the line hesitate, and give a moderately surprised, “Hm?”
“You think I can’t take you on, huh? You think I’m weak just because I’m a mare!?” Limestone continued to rage into the telephone, talking herself into a stupor, “Trust me, pussy, I can take you on! I spent twenty-five years of my life in charge of a rock farm! I can break boulders three times my size just with my bare hooves, and I’m talking real boulders. You don’t wanna find out what I could do to your boulders!”
“Oh?” Now the buck sounded legitimately interested, not to say curious. “Is this, like, part of the show or… ? Wow…” he gave a short grunt, and the thumping returned - more intense this time.
But Limestone was too caught up in her tirade to notice any of it. Who did this buck think he was!? All her life she had never backed away from a confrontation, and if this needy buck thought he could mess with her just because he had a whole network of phone lines between himself and Limestone … well, he’d better think again!
“What? Getting cold hooves, huh?” Limestone gave a short, angry laugh, “Don’t think you can talk yourself out of this this easily. I’ve dealt with ponies like you before, and all of them ended up running home, crying for their mommy. So don’t mess with me!” she warned him threateningly, “Or else you’ll regret it!”
The buck gave a hesitant swallow, then, in a timid voice, asked, “W-what would you do to me?”
“Oooh I’d come up with something, trust me.” Limestone said with a toothy grin. With her mind trailing off, and the frustration that had built up during her job at Jolly Burgers starting to be released, she continued, “First I’d knock you to the ground, then tie you up - a friend of my sister taught me how to use a lasso, and trust me,” she paused for effect, still grinning, “I know how to use it!”
“Yesss…” the buck said with a pleased sigh, “And after that?”
“I’d throw you out on the street where everypony can see you and laugh at your misery.” Limestone declared soberly, “Because that’s what you deserve - you perverted piece of dirt.”
“A-and if I’d break free and … come back?” the buck asked between short gasps; he seemed quite worked up for some reason, “If I’d challenge you to a rematch and … badmouth your family or something?”
“Oh you wouldn’t…” Limestone growled threateningly, narrowing her eyes - that had struck a nerve.
“And if I would?” the buck asked excitedly, sounding like a little colt on his birthday, “If I’d … say I screwed your mom? Slept with your sister? What would you do? What would you do to me!?”
Limestone could feel her grip around the telephone tighten, hearing her teeth grind against each other. This buck really didn’t know when he had crossed the line, did he?
“I would make you regret it.” she hissed coldly, “I’d kick your ass so badly you’d need a trauma surgeon to pull my hoof out of it.”
“Yes?” the buck asked, his voice reaching a slightly higher pitch, “And then?”
“You don’t know when to stop, do you?” Limestone asked, visibly disgusted by the buck’s indecency. “I would knock you to the ground, spread your legs, and give you a rock-breaking kick right into your tiny, ugly, little…”
She was cut off by an excited moan coming from the other end of the line and a loud clank as, she supposed, the buck dropped the phone.
“Yesssss.” she could hear him moan in pure ecstasy - a reaction that only fueled her anger even further.
“Are you frickin’ kidding me!?” she growled into the telephone, “I’m not done with you yet! You better pick up the phone and get your sorry little ass over here so that I can-”
But she was again cut short as the buck picked up the phone again and, still breathing heavily, said, “T-thanks. That was … exactly what I needed.”
“What!?” Limestone asked outraged - she had no idea what sort of pleasure this buck got from their talk, but she wasn’t done yet, and if he thought he could talk himself out of getting his ass kicked by smooth-talking her, he better think again!
“I’ll throw in a good word with your boss.” the buck offered reconciliatory, “What’s your name, sweetheart?”
“My name is the last name you’ll say in your whole miserable life!”
That prompted a soft chuckle from the buck - much to Limestone’s dislike. “Alrighty then.” he said sweetly, “I’ll call again tomorrow - same time, same place?”
“I swear to Celestia, if you hang up now-”
“Tomorrow it is.” The buck said, and Limestone could hear him throw a kiss at her. “See you then.”
And just like that, he hung up, leaving an angry, fuming, but also moderately confused Limestone behind.
Slowly, she lowered the phone, hanging up.
Her look rested on the phone, then went to her side where all of the remaining ponies -both, mares working the telephones, as well as her boss at the end of the corridor of desks- were looking at her in awestruck silence, a dozen mouths hanging open.
“... what just happened?”
