Spandex...Why does it always have to be Spandex?
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Spandex...Why does it always have to be Spandex?
It was one day at Yog-Towers, that Simon and Lewis were watching T.V. My Little Pony came on.
"Change the channel!" Commanded Lewis
"Come on Lewis! It can't be that bad! Lets just give it a small amount of time and watch this one episode!" Simon replied
"No way!" Lewis said again, not wanting to watch the show.
All of a sudden the power went out. But the T.V. stayed on... Strange. Simon thought. Then a large bolt of electricity went through the cord keeping the T.V on. Simon, always leaving his clothes around, left his spandex on the cord. The spandex got shocked and Simon had his pants drooping, as always, and got shocked! Then he fell on Lewis, who then began to get shocked! They has a spasm for a bit and then disappeared!
"Fuuuuuuuuuuuck!" Simon yelled.
" Shiiiiiiiiiiiiit!" Lewis yelled.
They continued cussing there brains out until they got teleported into a library. This library owned by Twilight, who then walked into the room.
"What the?In the name of Celestia what are you two doing here?" Twilight said.
"What... The fuck..." Simon exclaimed.
"Fuck... You... Simon..." Lewis said in response.
"Who are you?" Twilight asked, surprised of the pony's in front of her.
"What do you mean?Where the hell are we?" Simon asked.
"You're in my library... In Ponyville..." she replied
"Were are we?I don't know a fucking place on earth called Ponyville!" said Lewis
"Why are you a pony.... Lewis... We are in My Little Pony..." Simon said then running outside. "Holy shit!" Simon exclaimed.
"Earth? We are in Equestria! You silly stallion!... Also, how did you get in my library?" she said.
"Well I don't know. But currently we feel pretty fucked right now." Lewis said.
Spike then comes down the stairs.
"What's going on?" Spike asks.
"Well, me and my friend here are...Pony's so... Pretty fucked up if you ask me but... Yeah." Lewis says.
"Lewis!Look at the rainbows!" Simon yelled to Lewis.
"Simon... Shut the fuck up..." Lewis replied.
"Come out here and stop being an ass!" Simon said to Lewis.
"I am a pony not a donkey!" Lewis said.
Then out of no where, Cranky Doodle Donky passed the library.
Simon then does his signature little girl excited voice. Then Rainbow Dash flies down, wondering what she just heard.
"What was that? It sounded so lame. I mean I can do it about 20% cooler than that." she commented.
"Well... You're an ass..." Simon says.
Rainbow Dash then flies into his face, but last second, is pulled back by a lasso, tossed by Applejack.
"I am not lettin' no pony hurt any pony." she said.
"Applejack! He called me an ass! You think that raises my radical stats? No! It just makes me sound lame..." she complains.
"Thank you! Damn... I was so close to being unconscious." Simon thanks Applejack
Then Fluttershy flies over and taps Simon on the shoulder.
"Excuse me. Can you please stop with the mean words?"
Lewis then explodes with anger.
"Mean words?Mean words! Asshole! Of course there fucking mean words!" Lewis yells at Fluttershy.
Fluttershy begins to cry. Applejack is so surprised that some pony yelled at Fluttershy and lets go of the lasso. Then, Rainbow Dash flies to Lewis and hits him in the face.
"What the fuck!" Lewis yells.
Rainbow Dash then hits him again.
"What the fuck!" Lewis repeats.
"Stop saying it!" Rainbow Dash says and hits him again.
Pinky Pie then comes up and see's the new pony's
"Oh my gosh! Oh my gosh! Oh my gosh! New pony's! We need to throw a PARTAY!" Pinky yells.
Pinky then gets her Party Cannon out and fires it. The cake flies into Simon's face. He then licks his entire face at once (as T.V shows seem to allow) and says "Needs some orange filling."
"Deal with it." Rainbow Dash says angrily.
"Fine." Simon and Lewis say simultaneously.
Simon and Lewis started walking away.
"Wait! The party just started!" Pinky called to them.
"We are going." Lewis said.
"Where do you even live?" Applejack asks
Simon and Lewis stop dead in there tracks and realize that she is right.
"Can we bunk with any of you?" Lewis asks.
"Well. Simon looks like he can give me a helpin' hoof around Sweet Apple Acres." Applejack says.
"Do you have Jaffa's?"
"What is a Jaffa?" Applejack asks
Simon looks towards the sky and screems "Nooooooooooooo!"
Rarity then walks up and says "What was that terrible crime of loudness that hurts my eardrums? And why are there two unfashionable stallions in front of me? I must fix you up!" Rarity exclaimed
Lewis blew up at this remark.
"Unfashionable?Unfashionable!There is not fucking fashion for fucking pony's!" he yells
Rainbow Dash then flew by and slaps him twice.
"Okay okay! I understand!" Lewis says.
"Wow Lewis! You just got your ass whooped by a pony!"
Rainbow Dash then flies to Simon and hits him. And then gives up hitting them as now she is getting tired of it.
"Oh oh oh! Simon you could have a sleep over at my place! If you tell me the recipe for those Jaffa things, I could make some!"
This remark makes Simon's eyes and mouth get so big, he looks like his head is inflated!
"For real? That would be awesome!" Simon says in his happiest voice.
"And where will I go?" Lewis said
"Well, I guess you could stay with me... But you would have to share a room with Sweetie Belle." Rarity says.
"So we are all sorted out." Rainbow Dash says. "You two will take care of the ass hats, and we will live our regular lives."
"Hey!" Simon says.
"Rainbow Dash! Don't be so brute-ish! You don't know how bad they can be! Come on, Lewis was it? We need to get back to Carousel Boutique! I have a very important order I need to make by tomorrow for the one and only Sapphire Shores!"
"Okay, lead the way." Lewis says.
"Oh oh! Simon! I need to show you Sugar Cube Corner! Come on!" Pinky Pie said as she began bouncing off.
"Lead the way to the jaffa cakes!" Simon says.
"So Simon," Pinky said, "Why did you come to Ponyville?"
"Well," Simon started, "I was traveling the world! Looking at all the places I could live. One day I stumbled upon the town of Ponyville. My friend Lewis was also traveling with me. We decided to head to the library to read some... History of the place. Lewis wanted to know everything about the town. But then he saw all the books... And so we ended up here!" Simon said, knowing Pinky would not understand the truth.
"That's cool!" Pinky replied.
"Anyways, where I come from we had Jaffa Cakes. A delicious snack there." Simon tempted Pinky so that he could get some.
"Mmm! Sounds yummy!" Pinky said.
"Oh trust me Pinky, it is yummy!" Simon said.
"Okay, what are the ingredients?" Pinky asked.
"First, we need some dough, but it has to be hollow and round, um. Oh and we need a turkey baster." Simon began, but Pinky interpreted.
"What is a turkey baster?" Pinky asks.
Simon, realizing that pony's are herbivores, he says "It's what we use to put the filling in."
"Oh you mean like this?" Pinky says holding up a turkey baster.
"Yeah that's it." Simon says.
"Oh! So that's what these things are called!" Pinky exclaims.
"Okay," Simon continues. " Next we need sugar, orange flavoring, melted chocolate, preferably in a pan, then we need the filling." Simon lists, while Lewis makes the list with a pencil and paper from behind.
"Here." Lewis says. Simon, not knowing Lewis was there, jumped up at hid behind Pinky, who began to laugh.
"Its just Lewis silly!" Pinky says, still laughing.
"WHAT THE FUCK MAN!" Simon exclaims.
Lewis and Pinky are bursting out with laughter, and then Simon said "Lets just get on with the list..."
Along the way, Pinky and the guys bumped into Rarity.
"Why hello! Is there anything you guys need?" Rarity asks generously
"Yeah, do you have any oranges?" Pinky asks.
"Why do you need oranges?"
"So we can make jaffa cakes."
"What is a jaffa cake?"
"Simon said it was the tastiest thing in the world!"
"Oh really?"
"Yes!" Simon buts in.
"Why dont you go ask AJ?" says Rarity.
"Oh yeah!" exclaims Pinky
"Well have fun!"
"Bye!" Said Pinky
"Bye."
Lewis, Simon, and Pinky continue on the quest for jaffa cakes. Once they make it to AJ's place, they saw Granny Smith.
"Why hello there." said Granny
"Hi Granny Smith! Where's Apple Jack?" Asked Pinky
"Oh she's in the apple fields with Big Mac."
"Thanks!" says Pinky.
"Howdy." says Apple Jack
"Hey AJ! Do you know where we can get some oranges?"
"Yeah.If ya' just go down to Manehatten, you can find my Aunt and Uncle Orange."
"Thanks!" Pinky replied.
"So where to now?" Simon asked.
"Manehatten!"
Pinky lead the way to Manehatten, and she never stopp ed talking along the way. Lewis found a spell that made him not hear anything. Like earplugs. But better!
"How mutch further?" Simon asked.
"We are here!" Pinky exclaimed.
"Okay. The address is 1781 Stallion Street." says Simon
"We are on Stallion Street!" Pinky exclaimed
"Sorry what did you say? Lewis says, removing the spell.
Simon and Pinky laugh and say simultaneously "We are no where close!"
"Let me guess, were here." Lewis says.
"Yep." says Simon
"Finally!" says Lewis
They walk into the apartment and walk up to room 1023. Simon hoofs on the door.
"Hello?" says Mrs.Orange
"Is this the Orange residence?" Lewis asks
"Why yes!What do you need?"
"Some of your finest oranges!" says Simon
"What do you need them for?"
"Cant we just buy some?"
"20 bits for a basket."
"Deal!" says Pinky
Pinky passes Mrs.Orange the bits and Lewis picks up the basket with his magic.
"Lets go." says Lewis
"So do we have everything?" Simon asks
"Yep!" Says Pinky. "Can you help me make the Jaffa's? I dont know the way to make them
Simon began making the first jaffa, when a loud noice came at Rainbow Dash's house...
TO BE CONTINUED...