Chronicles of Equestria: Scenes
Doubts
Load Full Story‘Tia? You said I could ask you if I didn’t understand some of your decisions.’ said Princess Luna as she stepped into her sister’s study room, the hall’s light shining in through her mane and casting a bluish light on the elder princess’s chamber.
Celestia was resting near the fireplace, a book floating before her as her little sister entered. Luna knew that Celestia enjoyed retiring into tales on such slow late autumn evenings. The white alicorn nodded, inviting her younger sibling inside. After guiding her eyes across a page a few more times, she laid the book down on the floor and looked up.
‘I said you should ask me if you didn’t understand some of my decisions.’ Celestia corrected Luna’s words with her usual, kind smile. ‘You are just as much of a princess as I am, you could rule Equestria as you see fit. If my decisions aren’t clear, you have both the right to know the reason I made them and the wisdom to judge it. I have no doubt of that.’ A cup of tea on a nearby table took on a light yellow glow and flew to Celestia who sipped from it before finishing: ‘So, dear sister. What is that you wanted to ask?’
‘I’ve been trying to understand why you were so generous with that strange stallion, that toymaker.’ Luna explained.
Celestia didn’t answer right away. She looked into the fire thoughtfully, then stood up while her book obediently flew back to its place on a shelf, carried by a yellow glow. The sun’s princess opened her mouth to talk but paused again and closed the study’s door.
‘Tia?’ asked Luna searching her sister’s face.
‘The Book. I don’t want anypony to hear about it, should it come up.’ said Celestia to explain why she’ve closed the door. Luna took a glance to her left where - in the middle of a shelf - lay a large tome on its side, separate from other texts. ‘It’s been three weeks since we talked with him last, no?’
‘Yes, and I haven’t been able to understand your behaviour ever since.’ Luna replied.
‘My behaviour?’
‘Ever since the hearing, I had a strange feeling about it. I mean, you called him in privately in front of the Council, yet hardly spoke or asked a question of him until after it was done and you declared that you will reward him for his work on that spell book.’
‘It is true.’ Celestia nodded, then smiled at her sister. ‘To be honest, I mostly knew what will happen in the end, ever since I read Twilight’s letter about him.’
‘What do you mean, sister?’
‘It is difficult to explain.’ Celestia said and took a few steps around the study. ‘Remember how the Elements found each other? How - despite all odds - six ponies able to represent the very foundations of Equestria met in a small town and united, without even knowing the significance of it all? I once told you that there are few things more powerful than coincidences. And this strange stallion with his unlikely background finding himself in the company of my cautious pupil the very minute of his arrival here is more than a coincidence.’
‘So you were so generous with him because you think it was fate that led him here?’
‘Oh no.’ Celestia laughed. ‘That only caught my attention. The reason for the great reward was exactly what I said when I gave it. The Book. Years of work worth of spells of great variety; all created for little more than his own betterment. And since he gave it up to us, it was only natural that he receives compensation for his gift.’
‘But you didn’t know him, what he’s like, and yet offered to pay the cost of building him a new home and so much more.’
‘You are very right, Luna. I didn’t know him. But I knew he is wise. I’ve could have chosen many other ponies to represent pegasus interests, however I settled on Miss Gloomy Cloud because I knew she’d be hostile. Yet, this “strange stallion” of ours seemed to already anticipate that, and did what he could to keep everything civil. It was perhaps a bit brash on his end to adress you the way he did, but that too served to deliver a point. And of course, there’s a reason why I endorsed his settlement in Ponyville as soon as he gave me a chance to do so, putting him only a few hours’ flight away, and under the watchful eye of Twilight.’
‘Hm...’ Luna paused. She had anticipated these answers, but hearing them out loud from her elder sister didn’t really make them any more satisfying. ‘It’s just that his story is unbelievable, yet you didn’t question its validity. Those spells of his are dangerously versatile, and yet you barely put any restrictions on their practice.’
‘Are you saying that he looked dangerous to you?’ asked Celestia.
‘I’m saying that we both know that you don’t have to look dangerous to be just that.’ came the dark, monotone answer.
Silence fell for a few seconds and Celestia stepped closer to the dark mare. She wasn’t smiling anymore.
‘Luna...’ The white alicorn attempted to nuzzle her sister, but Luna stepped back.
‘That is not the point now. We just want to know why you are so sure he can be trusted with the freedoms you’ve given unto him. He already lied to us!’
‘Lied?’ Celestia asked and slowly moved behind her desk.
‘Do not imply that thou believe that story he made up! Venturing distant lands alone? And what of his supposed house, that he claims to have somehow transported across the globe? Nonsense.’
‘I understand your concern,’ Celesta said with a sigh while sliding out a drawer of her desk. ‘though, I don’t think he ever claimed traveling alone.’ She paused and an envelope flew out of the desk. ‘As for the strange story and the house. I know he is telling the truth.’
Luna didn’t know what to reply, just looked at the envelope. It had a strange, broken seal on it that somewhat resembled the number eight with two swirls inside it both top and bottom. What could it hold that proves anything about this sta-
‘Wait...’ she started. ‘Th- You mean you found the house? A house truly disappeared?’
Celestia didn’t reply at first, just sighed.
‘I know that there was a house and that he didn’t lie.’ she said finally with an unusual sadness in her eyes. Strangely, Luna felt as if Celestia would be this way not because of the stallion, but because of her. Perhaps the only reason she felt this was that the last time Celestia looked at her like this, was before...
‘Then you know who he is?’ Luna asked slowly, trying to take the letter. Celestia held onto it denyingly.
‘I do.’
‘Why didn’t you reveal it to him then?’
‘He didn’t ask.’
‘What? Thou kept it a secret from him, just because he didn’t ask?’ Luna was shocked that her sister would do such a thing. ‘He must wish to know! If he was telling the truth, he came back to find who he is!’
‘You were right Luna. He did lie.’ Celestia said and placed the envelope on the desk. ‘Even if he once wanted to return to whatever home he thought to have here, that was a very long time ago.’
‘You can’t be sure about that!’
‘Did he mention wanting to find his home once during the week we reviewed his work?’
‘But-’
‘Luna.’ Celestia stopped her. ‘He is clever. I have little doubt that he knew I already had time to look into his unusual and very visible past. And even if he didn’t suspect, he surely would have asked me to do so. The truth is, he has been away for a long time. He knows that what life he once could have had here is long gone.’
‘So... You’re saying his family is gone?’
‘I’m saying there is nothing waiting for him. And he knows.’
They remained in silence for a while.
‘So that is why you were so generous to him.’ Luna said finally, but instead of mild accusation, her voice carried compassion.
‘Somewhat. Yes.’ Celestia nodded.
‘You also know his real name then?’
‘I do. But I don’t want to burden him with it and lock him in the past. He was eager to start a new life.’ The Princess paused. ‘And he should be free to do so as he pleases.’
‘...Tia?’ came from Luna after a bit of silence. The night princess stepped closer to the desk.
‘Is something wrong?’
‘No. I just...’ Luna looked at the desk, searching for the right words. ‘Is it wrong that I envy him?’
‘What do you mean?’ Celestia looked at her in a way that would mean slight surprise from most ponies, but Luna knew that for Celestia, this is complete bafflement.
‘A new life. He came home, to a place unknown to him yet could simply move on and start anew.’
‘Oh Luna!’ Celestia looked at her sister with an unusually large, glad smile. She walked around the desk and nuzzled Luna - who didn’t step back this time - while reaching one of her wings around her little sister, lovingly pulling her closer. ‘I envied every single sister and brother in Equestria for a thousand years! No matter what happened, they could go to their sibling and tell them how sorry they are and how much they love them; the one thing I could not. But you don’t have to envy anypony!’
‘Tia?’
‘Luna, if you want to start anew, you can!’
‘But we can’t.’
‘Why couldn’t you?’ asked Celestia and stepped back, looking her sister in the eye.
‘You were miserable, having to carry the burden of ruling Equestria alone, guarding the day and night by yourself. And it was all because of us!’
‘Firstly, that was not you!’ said Celestia seriously, but quickly returning to a loving smile: ‘And I wasn’t miserable because I had to rule Equestria and do everything alone. I was miserable because I was alone. Because I didn’t have you little sister. I’d gladly carry all those so-called burdens for eternity, if I’d know you are happy.’
‘But, I can’t Tia. I am what I am. I have to be the guardian of the night.’
‘You said you wished to start over.’ Celestia noted.
‘It’s not that we- I don’t want everything to be as it used to be sister. But... The hearing. You saw how they looked at me when I got angry. They thought I’ll become that... thing again.’
‘Perhaps, but remember Nightmare Night? You told me that it was fantastic. Though they were fearful of you at first, they learned. Didn’t they?’
‘That was Ponyville.’ said Luna simply, dismissing the argument. ‘A small little town. How am I to change the view of Equestria itself?’
Silence fell again, and Celestia stepped closer, nuzzling and hugging her little sister with her wings.
‘Then that is it.’ Celestia smiled at her. ‘You don’t need to convince everypony. In time, it will be forgotten anyway. But until then, you don’t need to worry about it. Just do... Do what Oakleaf did. What you want to do. Start over, right here! Search for something that makes you happy. Find a few friends too! Maybe in the Council, or among the servants. There are artists here and cooks and scientists and retired explorers! Find just a few ponies and show them how wonderful we both know you are. You don’t need to make public appearances if you don’t want to.’
‘But my duties...’
‘I’ve told you. I would gladly take on everything on my own, if I knew you are happy Luna. And you can help me if you wish. You can also guard the night without having to put up with ponies who misjudge you. Just stop trying to be something that pains you. For now.’
Luna didn’t say a word for a while and Celestia didn’t seem to mind. She just held her dear little sister close. Finally, however, she spread her wings and reached around her sister’s neck too.
‘I love you sister.’ Luna said.
Celestia didn’t say a word, just hugged her tighter for a second before stepping back. They looked at each other, both relieved - though for different reasons. Nothing else was in the need to be said about it, so they remained silent, Luna taking a few steps away, new thoughts rushing into her mind, and Celestia returning to her rug before the fireplace.
Just as Luna would have bid farewell and retired to her room to think, her eyes came across the envelope, still resting on the table.
‘Just out of curiosity. Who was he? The toymaker I mean.’ she asked, stepping closer to the desk, but the envelope glew yellow and swiftly flew back into the drawer.
‘A new life, Luna. As he doesn’t know, I already feel guilty for knowing myself.’ Celestia said.
‘You are right.’ sighed Luna. ‘I guess I should let his past be his past if I ever- You know.’
Celestia just smiled and nodded. The hallway door opened and the room was painted blue for a few moments once more. As it closed, her book flew off of its shelf again, and opened up where she had stopped. She took a quick look towards the desk, then towards the now closed door and finally - after a sigh - she continued reading along.
