Shades and Tails

Chapter 5 When We Don’t Look Back

“Are you okay? I-I saw how you, er, acted in there.”

“She just, it was a personal question, and I felt uncomfortable. I’ll be okay with you.”

Card and I were walking together to our quarters, having finished training for the day. I’d seen him up there, whooping as he spun through the air. He was so graceful and it was entrancing to watch. Those blue candy-cane stripes blurring into the white. I’d been in a separate part of the facility most of the time though, practicing magic. I was alone the entire time, whereas I saw a few other pegasi up there with Card.

I didn’t know what to say to Card. He felt comfortable with me but I didn’t feel comfortable with anypony. I didn’t know how I was supposed to respond, how he expected me to respond. And that kiss last night…what was I supposed to make of it? I thought I should ask, but I didn’t know the right time. I didn’t know the right words…

“Shade, I—” he was cut off as we entered our room, a row of bunks spread before us on the left, a long set of dressers on the right—and Sarge in the center of the room, turning to see who’d entered.

He was at a little desk, hooves typing away at a small computer, but he smiled when he saw us, “Ah, there you two are. How was the Range?”

“It doesn’t end does it?” I snorted.

“Nope, what did you think basic training was for?” Sarge laughed, shutting the laptop.

“Mmhbmlnn,” Card mumbled, looking away. He was obviously uncomfortable. I could understand why.

“Are we sharing this room with you?” I asked.

“Yeah,” Sarge nodded, “why not? There’s more than enough bunks. What, don’t like me?”

“Of course we do!” Card’s voice had risen an octave.

“I’m just teasing,” Sarge chuckled, waving him off. “Don’t worry, I’ve gotta lot of work to do, I probably won’t be in here until long after you’re asleep most of the time. They’re just preparing my office.”

I plopped down on a bed, not caring where, closing my eyes as my face hit the pillow. Yeah, it was exhausting to use magic consistently for 2 hours straight. I heard the door open and close, then somepony nudged me. I opened one eye, groaning in exhaustion. It was Card.

“Can I, uh, can I join you Sh-Shadow Bright?” he stuttered nervously. “Sarge just left and I, uh, don’t wanna—”

I scooched over a little, inviting him up with a pat on the bed. He settled in next to me. We were like that for a little bit, snuggling, but I couldn’t fall asleep and I didn’t think he could either. I couldn’t get the question out of my mind and I had to ask,

“Card, do you like me?”

“Like you?”

“Well, that kiss…”

“Oh,” I opened my eye to look at him and I saw him blushing. “Well yeah, I’ve loved you for a long time. Do you…love me?”

I felt like there was a frog in my throat. “Y-yes,” I barely whispered.

Gingerly, like he was petting an upset cat, he put an arm around me, “It’s okay Shade.” he nuzzled me lovingly and it felt like my heart stopped. I was so awkward! I froze up and didn’t move. I didn’t want to ruin the moment. I hadn’t thought anypony would ever be capable of loving me. So I rolled over, leaving Card to be confused.

⚪⚪⚪

He was there, hiding in the shadows in the back of my mind. I don’t dream, so what was this? My shadows playing more games? They had given me nightmares before. But I didn’t hear their voices. Somehow that wasn’t as welcome as I’d have expected. They were all I really knew.

So now I was left in my own mind with my own thoughts, wondering why Scorpan was waiting for me in the depths of slumber.

“Hey there,” came a dark whisper. It drifted softly to me.

“Scorpan? Brother to Tirek? How dare you intrude my sleep.”

Scorpan sighed. “You don't know the whole story, you know.”

“What whole story?” I didn’t particularly care what he had to say.

“I wish I could tell you…I’m scared Shadow. I’ve messed up, I know I have.”

I was shocked and angered beyond belief, “How do you know my name?!”

“You and I have a lot in common don’t we?”

“You’re nothing like me!” I snapped, but the gargoyle was already fading away. Yet again I saw the years of torment locked in his yellow eyes. I was lying if I said I didn’t see shadows similar to my own there. “Wait!” I yelled.

“Don’t look back.” He was gone.

⚪⚪⚪

“Shade! Oh please wake up!” I heard sounds of distress. My eyes snapped open and I saw Card above me, tears in his eyes. Next, I felt sensation come back, my shadows swarming me and screaming loud like never before.

“Aughhh!” I slammed my hooves over my ears, “Stop, oh Faust, it's too much!” I shook my head.

“Shadethrower? Hey, what happened, are you okay?”

By Celestia, I was probably freaking him out to no end. But I couldn’t handle the noise. If only he heard, if only he understood, but he—

He kissed me hard, breaking all my concentration. It left my shadows disoriented for a second and I dropped my hooves. “Are you okay?” Card asked me, worry plain to see in his eyes. I nodded slowly, waiting for it to all come back, but my shadows were acting normal again. If their torment could be called normal.

Card drew me into a tight embrace, breathing hard, almost sobbing. “I'm glad you’re fine. I love you so much.”

“Me too Card,” I said.

He pulled back, hooves on my shoulders and looking me square in the eye, “Tell me what happened?” he asked a little squeakily.

“Just—just a nightmare.” Card nodded.

“Do you wanna go to breakfast?”

“Yeah, I’d like that.”

⚪⚪⚪

I was enjoying a pleasant conversation with Card and an ok tasting bacon and egg sandwich. When you’ve eaten military food for the past year, you got used to it. Breakfast had taken my mind off of my dream, and I was doing my best to ignore my shadows. They hid in the darkness beneath the table, watching me, ever observant.

“I hope we can head to an actual restaurant sometime in the near future. I enjoyed Broken Shield.” Card was saying.

“Yeah, but that was expensive. Celestia, you spent so much that day Card!”

Card smiled evilly, “Do you still have that dress?”

I blushed, playing with my napkin, “...Er, yeah, why would I get rid of it?”

Card laughed, “That’s awesome. Of course, I wouldn’t blame—” He was interrupted when the alarms began to blare, red lights flashing.

Heartless’s voice came on over the intercom, “Attention personnel. Just receiving updates of an ongoing situation from Appleloosa. There’s been reports of unidentified movement a few clicks south of town. No doubt Tirek and his blasted puppet pony army. I want all ponies to their stations immediately. Units in the field gear up and move out! This is Colonel Heartless, signing off. Go get ’em!”

I stood, looking around with narrowed eyes. Everypony in the room was up and moving, heading out to deal with the threat. Sarge came bustling into the hall, galloping our away. “Hey,” he said, out of breath, “Whoo, I’m getting old! You two gear up and meet me upstairs. I’ve been putting together a squadron. They’re under my command, but I know you two work best as partners. I just want you to meet them before you’re ever assigned with them.” Sarge shrugged, then turned and ran off. Card and I went quickly to our locker room in the armory.

⚪⚪⚪

Ok, Sarge had made me think Card and I were working alone. That wasn’t the case though. Sergeant Baise wasn’t the stallion in control of the show. Heartless was, and he’d dictated we worked with Quartermaster Riggs. I liked the stag just fine, but he wasn’t familiar to me. I needed familiar. I needed Card and him alone.

“You’ll get used to it,” Heartless said with a smirk as he left us at the elevator. We were on our way to meet the buck in the garage right now.

“Honestly,” I complained to Card, “I think he’s posting us with Riggs because he wants an eye on us. ‘He took a liking to me’, my flank.” I huffed.

“Hey, we’re gonna do just fine with Riggs. He’s a nice pony.” Card said cheerily.

“Yeah, yeah. I'm just glad we don’t have to wear that royal armor. This pleather stuff is just fine.”

“Great,” Card beamed, “focus on the positive.”

“Oh that’s not positive,” I snorted. “You know I don’t do positive. I’m still complaining.”

Card chuckled and rolled his eyes. “I love you, babe.” it was a simple word said casually, but it still made me blush and choke on nothing.

The doors opened, and there was Riggs Bailey, waiting for us, a NATO sniper rifle slung around his back. I sighed. “Oiy, mate! You get to work wit’ me!”

“Isn’t that a pleasure,” I said under my breath. Horrible. Nothing could be worse. You’re being undermined. Different shadows whispered to me, coiling around me, never letting me go.

“But I’ll warn ya, I’m insane on the field. It’s why my job is mainly armory and supply warden.” Riggs bounced from hoof to hoof, chuckling. Click clack, click clack.

⚪⚪⚪

“Oiy, target in sight.”

We’d been atop a ridge with a clear view of the desert, a scattering of small boulders our only cover. We’d been out here in the heat for about half an hour. I pulled my M15 rifle off my back, pressing it against my shoulder and testing its weight. I also double checked the ammo cartridge, reassuring myself it was loaded. I saw Card doing the same with his pistol.

Our radio picked up chatter, “Bzz-Luna Blue here. Yeah we see ’em, a whole convoy. I think that’s a couple humvees. Bzz-No approach on this end, Desert Sun out.”

Riggs picked up his radio, sitting on the rock beside him, “Heartless Niner ’ere, there’s a second team on approach from my end. No vehicles but I see at least ten ponies on approach to the east end of town.” he lifted his snipe, taking aim. “They're too far away to discern our position, and I've gotta clear shot.” he said to us without looking at anything but his targets. His hoof was on the trigger, squeezing, then—

BAM! A shot rang out from Riggs’s weapon, but Card had snapped his wings open, slamming into Riggs and knocking his gun off aim. “Faust dammit!” Riggs snapped. “Mate, what’s up?” Riggs wasn’t too upset.

“You can’t…shoot them…to kill!” Card panted for breath, sprawled on the rocks from his stunt.

“Why not, mate? We have authorization to fire at will.”

“They’re being used against their will. They’re innocent civilians.” Card frowned.

“Aye, that may be, but they won’t hesitate to kill us first. This isn’t my first rodeo, I know what I’m doing.”

That’s when things lost control. Bullets began pummeling the rocks and Riggs fell backward. Card shrieked, as he jumped down. “It grazed me! That hurts!” His left wing was all bloody, feathers torn and hanging loose.

“Cardkeeper!” I exclaimed, moving toward him. Riggs held up a hoof, “No good. You don’t have medical training. I on the other hoof do. Cover us, I’ll get this under control.”

Quick thinking kept you alive. I turned back to the rocks, hearing Riggs say, “Oight, Ima staunch the bleeding. This’ll hurt, I won’t lie.” I didn’t look as the pegasus I had fallen in love with yelled in pain. Whatever Riggs was doing, it would be to help my coltfriend. He’ll find his head mounted on a wall if he hurts him, my shadows cackled darkly at me.

I climbed onto the rocks, aiming down the sights. I was a great aim, but what Card had said shook me. He was right, it was wrong to shoot the puppet ponies. They were innocent civilians after all. So I didn’t shoot to kill.

I pulled the trigger, not afraid of the weapon. We’d used simpler guns in training, but this gun was just as easy to operate. Click! “Buck!” I threw the rifle down. “Useless piece of junk!” It was jammed.

I shook my head. This was ridiculous. I didn’t need a gun, I was a unicorn for Faust’s sake. I closed my eyes, concentrating on magic. My shadows began writhing and yelling at me. They always did this when I summoned up power. I always ignored them, but this time it p*ssed me off. That fueled my energy.

More bullets rained down on our rocks, and I heard Card shout in pain. You’re weak, Shadow. You’ll let them die. Just like your family…

“No!” I snapped my eyes open. I only found out later they had been glowing with a brilliant white light, just as I knew my horn was. “Shut the buck up!” I screamed and released my magic. It shot in a wide beam straight at the platoon of puppet ponies. The bullets stopped coming and my magic dimmed to nothing.

I noticed my shadows had shrank away from me, and their voices were silent. But that didn’t last long. They shrouded me, whispering frantically, and I passed out.

⚪⚪⚪

You can’t hold us back, because your rage means nothing to us, Shadow. That rage is what feeds us.

Your light was dulled by your ill feelings. You’ll never be able to ignore our influence.

We’re a part of you Shadow, never ever forget that. You’ll never know how much we love you…

“Shadethrower, wake up! Mate, we aren’t bloody losing you.” Riggs had his hooves on my shoulders, shaking me.

Gunshots sounded, “Riggs, there are more of them. I can’t hold them off forever.” Card shouted.

My eyes adjusted, and I realized Luna’s moon had risen. We were situated behind a wall of sandbags, and the western fronted buildings of Appleloosa towered above me.

“We moved?” I asked, sitting up.

“Aye, Luna Blue moved us after, well, you cleared out that group of ponies coming for us.”

“Cleared…out?” I repressed my reaction, but I looked up at Card, who didn’t look back at me.

“We’re surrounded, but we’ve managed to hold fort at the Sheriff’s office. But it won’t last long.”

Almost as though his words were some kind of cue, everything seemed to stop. Then there was screaming, but gunfire had ceased.

A large shadow fell over us, “Interesting, I’ve never seen your kind before,” a very large, well muscled and red skinned centaur shoved aside the sandbags we hid behind. I jumped up, shielding Card from the centaur, who was obviously Lord Tirek. I noticed the medallion he wore around his neck. Tirek had a smile on his face, but he was focused on Riggs, not Card and I.

“I ain’t afraid of you!” Riggs yelled. He lifted his pistol, but Tirek knocked the weapon from his grasp. “My dearest brother, tell me, what creature is this? You know more of pony races than I.” Tirek eyed Riggs like he was hungry.

“He is a stag pony, simply a large majestic deer.” said a familiar voice.

“Yes, that is good. And my, what an interesting cutie mark.” Tirek lifted his—they weren’t hooves, but I had no words for them—they began to glow, and so did the beast’s eyes. And Riggs gasped.

“What’re you—?” he choked, and I saw a tear in his eye. Then the magic entered him, and his eyes glowed a ghastly orange. The tear fell, but Riggs was unable to fight back as his mouth opened and a purple essence was extracted from his body, into a glowing orb between Tirek’s horns. Riggs let out one last groan before he slumped to the ground.

His eyes were wide, staring at nothing. It was just as blank an expression that first pony had in Dodge Junction. It was wrong, unnatural. There was nothing left of Riggs Bailey. Just an empty shell.

“How dare you!” I shouted. I tried to get up, but my legs were wobbly. I fell straight back to the ground.

“Weakness doesn’t interest me.” Tirek turned, completely disregarding me.

“I’ll show you!” I yelled angrily after him.

Tirek laughed, “I await it.”

“I’m sorry.” Scorpan was behind me. “I want to help. Once upon a time, I was a great friend to—”

“Scorpan, come!”

It was over that quickly.