No one needs Foundation Repair

by lambda

Rating: teen
Tags: Crossover, Sex, Spitfire, Lightning Dust, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Soarin, Human, Rainbow Dash, Comedy, Random
Length: 974

Rainbow Dash gets the JoJ done right.

When it comes to foundation repair, there's nobody better than HoH SiS.
So when HoH SiS came to repair Rainbow Dash Wonderbolts Headquarter, she'd like to suck a lot of caulk save a lot of money, right?

Long overdue tribute to cs188's amazing No one needs Foundation Repair

Published 2017-03-02 18:50:01 UTC
Last updated 2017-03-02 18:50:01 UTC

When you need foundation repair

“You know what? Fuck it.”

Rainbow Dash grumbled, slamming both hooves on the desk making a loud thump. She’s literally fuming now, with all the shit she took today.

“What happened?” Followed a confused-looking Lightning Dust.

“You really wanna know? Fine.”

Another day of training, another day of awesomeness! Rainbow Dash couldn’t wait to see her teammates again. After so many days dangling between her friends and her career in the wonderbolts, she finally settled down and made her choice. She’s going to get this job no matter what. No more dilly-dallying with AJ, no more goofing around with Pinkie, no more mushing stories with Rarity. Nope. She’s Rainbow Dash, cream of the crop, star of the show! No more wasting time with friends, she’s high in the sky, wings stretching wide, bracing the incoming gust! Fleetfoot by her side, with Soarin and Spitfire following close behind, she’s ready!

With a strong flap of her wings, she dashed forward, leaving a somewhat confused Fleetfoot yelling at her: “Slow down!” But she didn’t listen. She’s Rainbow Dash, not some itsy-bitsy crybaby. If she’s taking the lead, she’s changing history. She dashed again, wings keeping up with her accelerating heart beat. Soooo awesome! Looking behind, Fleetfoot’s nothing more than a vanishing dot, Soarin and Spitfire nowhere to be seen! Ha! She knew wonderbolts were no match for her! Two months of training and she outran them all! Heck, maybe she’d form her own team someday!

She was about to turn her head back when she noticed the air around her became out, unbearably hot, almost burning her fur, lighting them afire! The moment she looked straight again, she’s greeted by fastly approaching ground. Oops.

Smack!

Her head took the hit first. Dirt splurged up all over her head, face and nozzle. Then came the burning sense of pain enveloping her whole body. Rainbow Dash screamed, she’d crashed so many times before, but nothing this painful, the moment she took the hit it’s almost like somepony’s ripping her coat off of her body. Pain. Abysmal pain. Headache. Heaeh, sos, faaf, and all senses left her.

She felt dizzy, the whole world revolving around her. Not good.

Rainbow Dash took time to readjust on a standing position. Her view was still blurry, nostrils picking up burned plastic, but she could hear well.

It is then that she noticed a deep, gruff voice somewhere behind a wall.

“I’m sorry Spitfire, but you knew how fast she was before the impact. when we found her she’s several inches beneath the ground.”

“So what does that have to do with our headquarters needing a relocation?”

Relocation?

Rainbow Dash tensed up a bit. Though she couldn’t quite make out what the duo were saying, it’s not something good. And judging by Spitfire’s more than irritated drill-sergeant voice, she knew something’s up. Something big.

"She broke the foundation, ma’am.”

The foundation.

She could pick up his voice became increasingly hoarse, even across the wall. “It’s like digging a hole beneath the house. If you and your unit continues to operate inside this building, it’d collapse in no time.”

“Our headquarters….”

Rainbow Dash broke the door open.

And what greeted her eyes horrified her to no end.

The wonderbolts headquarter, the century year-old building outliving Commander Hurricane, Fairweather, Fairy Flight , Purple Dart and Flash had cracks all over the hall, with fissures and slits sprawling randomly on the wall. The whole building was a mess: Birds of all type came flying in and out, squirrels started climbing up the fissure. Not long after, woodpeckers decided to join the fun. “Knock knock knock” The sound of their long, tuned beak pecking the wood came echoing throughout the hall.

She shook her head. This can’t be true. And where are other Wonderbolts? She walked out of the building. Nopony to be seen. And she turned around.

What a sight.

The headquarter, once bathed in its glorious form, is now lopsided, one side heavily slid into the ground while the other hung proudly in the air like a see-saw. Dirt dribbles down from one side of the building, masking its purity in its most raw form. The next thing she saw was a hole, much like those drilled by pile drivers, except that it’s pony-shaped.

The pony-shaped hole, her headfirst crash in to the ground. It was then that realization dawned on her.

“You want to impress them so bad you dug a hole under the whole building huh? Not bad crash, Not bad.” Lightning teased, still in quite a bit of shock that her long time rival almost destroyed the headquarters.

“So what now? They abandoned the site?”

Rainbow Dash sighed. She hasn’t heard of Spitfire, Fleetfoot or any other wonderbolts ever since that eventful day.

“Not yet. They’re gonna rebuild the whole thing next year I guess.” She shook her head in defeat, “I messed up big times Dust. They probably never want to see me again.”

The only response from Lightning Dust was a shit-eating grin. “Cheer up Crash, where’s that energetic recruit who never loses confidence even if she’s being an asshole all the time?”

“This is the absolute last time….”Dash wanted to huff, to yell with all her might. Such insulting comments would draw a slap across the face in her younger days. But she’s really in no mood to argue now, especially when she destroyed the official wonderbolts office just 2 days ago. “Maybe you’re right Dust, I screwed up so bad. No wonderbolts would like an asshole to join their team.”

Hearing this, Lightning’s face contorted into a twitch of wry smile, “You know what Dash? You’re taking this way too serious.”

She popped a sugercube into her mouth, before climbing onto the sofa and turned on Dash’s TV. “Here, take a look.”