The Cutest Butt Contest
Twilight was walking around in her castle when it suddenly happened, Chaos.
Complete, total, and utter Chaos.
And that was because Discord popped up.
“Well hello there, Twilight, I am here to inform you that you have been chosen for a very special contest for a chance and opportunity to win something!”
“Uh, what contest would this be?”
“The Cutest Butt Contest of course? We polled, or rather the author did, anyhow what matters is that the whole entire community was polled and now I need you to come with me so that way I can announce the glorious winner!!!”
“Uh, sorry Discord, but I’m rather very busy at the moment.”
“Oh don’t be so silly and ridiculous! Butts are nothing to feel ashamed about talking in public since every pony goes around naked constantly ever day!!!”
“Uh well I still don’t feel comfortable with this…”
“Nonsense! You’re coming with me whether you like it or not!”
And with that said she suddenly found herself in a stadium completely and entirely full of ponies, mostly stallions though. “Well hello there, audience!”
The crowd shouted. “Thank you very much, but please, hold the praise and applause until the very end please, anyhow please enjoy tor your viewing pleasure the Alicorn Princess of Friendship herself, Twilight Sparkle!”
And with that said the whole entire crowd shouted and cheered as Twilight blushed, she really did not like having her butt talked about or viewed in front of this many ponies. She stood there waiting for Discord to come back and eventually he did with lots of ponies and friends that Twilight knew.
Fluttershy, Rarity, Applejack, Rainbow Dash, Pinkie Pie, Lyra Heartstrings, Octavia Melody, Bon Bon, Vinyl Scratch, Spike, Big Mac, Derpy, Granny Smith, even Princess Celestia and Luna were there, and the one thing that the princesses, Big Mac, Fluttershy, Applejack, and herself were that they all were blushing now then. “Sister, any suggestions for what we should do to Discord?”
“Calm yourself down Luna, I’m sure this is just a harmless prank and joke that he’ll try to make funny somehow, perhaps maybe you’ll even win, wouldn’t you like that?” Celestia said.
“I’m fine with being called cute, but this much attention on my butt? I really don’t like it that much sister.”
“I know, just try to get through this, okay then?”
“Sure thing sister, anything for you.”
“Oh my, this many ponies all focused on me?” Fluttershy said very nervously now then.
“Oh my, this many ponies all focused on me?” Rarity said displaying her whole entire body
very proudly.
“Aw shucks, this is just making me feel uncomfortable,” Applejack said.
“Are you here to look at my totally awesome and radically cool amazing moves?” Rainbow Dash said making a kick in the air now then.
“What?” Granny Smith said very confused at where she was exactly.
Big Mac stood speechless. Cheerilee too as well.
The others just waved and smiled very awkwardly.
“Alright audience, it’s time that you hear the results, we only accepted seventy-six responses and it’s time for you to see who has the cutest butt!!!”
Suddenly a scoreboard popped up. “Alright, to keep this interesting we’re going to go from who had the least votes to the most to keep you in suspense!
First up with one vote each we have Miss Cheerilee, Vapor Trail Mr. Big Mac, Derpy, and Spike too as well!!! But I must say, I never imaged that a stallion could even qualify to have the cutest butt, but the audience has spoken already and now it’s time to hand them the participation award, free cookies and cotton candy!!!”
Suddenly a very big huge large mountain with a pile of cookies and cotton candy popped up and instantly they all dived for it.
“Alright!!! Next on the list with two votes is Pinkie Pie, and with three votes we have Rainbow Dash!!!”
“Hey, I’m supposed to have the cutest butt!!!” Pinkie Pie complained.
“Yeah, and any pony else who says that my butt isn’t the best deserves to have theirs kicked!!!”
“Hey, all votes are final. Anyhow next on the list with only a meager five votes we have Moonbutt!!! Sorry, I actually meant Princess Luna!!!”
And with that said the whole entire crowd shouted and cheered for her.
“Ah well, there’s always next time sister, maybe you’ll win another contest instead?” Celestia said. “I really hope so because this is just really sad to me,” she said glancing out at the crowd with some tears in her face now then.
“Anyhow, next on the list tied at six votes we have a mare who’s very old and one that I was quite surprised to actually see, Granny Smith, next for the six votes is none other than Twilight Sparkle herself!!!
And finally, my own personal favorite pony who I think has the cutest butt, Fluttershy!!!”
And with that said the whole entire crowd shouted and clapped for them now.
“Your prize is still the participation award, but you get chocolate milk with it!!!”
And with that said a big huge glass of chocolate milk appeared with several glasses for all of them to share.
“In third place with eight votes we have the hard-working farmer Applejack!!!”
The crowd cheered again as Discord gave her a lamp of himself.
“That’s the third-place prize and award!!!”
“Uh thanks I guess?” she said.
“Next up in second place with ten votes is the princess of the Sun herself, Sunbutt!!! I mean Princess Celestia, come on up here!!!”
Blushing she did so.
“Second place winners get the lamp and this very lovely boutique of flowers,” he said handing some to her as he did a very subtle suggestive wink.
“And finally, in first place, with nineteen votes, the cutest butt in Equestria goes to… Rarity!!! Come on up here and show us that butt!!!”
Blushing very profoundly, she did so.
“Yes, well first place prize and award is whatever you want actually, granted by me naturally enough of course, just whisper it in my ear and it’s yours darling.”
Slowly she leaned over with a smile and did so.
“Wish granted,” Discord said, “You’ll see it very soon enough, but now then, on to far more pressing matters, I noticed several ponies didn’t get even one vote, they get the participation award and prize too as well but what to know what really annoys me the most? It’s that I wasn’t voted for at all, not… one… single… vote, and I just have to ask, is my butt not good enough for you yet?
Well guess what, now you’re going to get my butt!!!”
And with that said suddenly Discord mooned the whole entire audience as they gasped in shock and started to run away. “What? Oh come on, my butt isn’t that ugly, is it? Come on back here right now!!!”
