Glimmer, Can I Ass You a Question?

by Tired Old Man

Rating: teen
Tags: Comedy, Starlight Glimmer, Twilight Sparkle, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic
Length: 5251

Twilight has a question for Starlight, and she's getting an answer. No ifs, ands, or butts about it.

Twilight knows Starlight Glimmer has been reformed under her guidance. Er, mostly—she’s still a work in progress, but there is no doubt Starlight is improving in her eyes.

However, there’s just one bad habit Twilight noticed that’s been nagging at her ever since she first saw it. But how would she converse about it? Should it be handled delicately? And when would she bring it up?

Today. Today, she would talk about it.

Published 2017-02-23 07:00:01 UTC
Last updated 2017-02-23 07:00:01 UTC

Getting to the Bottom of This Issue

Not too far away from the town of Ponyville in a crystalline castle tree — or is it treecastle? — a perplexed purple pony sat at a modest desk in a definitely-not-modest library. No book sat in front of her, though some rested on the desk neatly stacked nearby.

Twilight Sparkle thought. She thought very carefully, and not about arcane knowledge or friendship lessons, although the latter was certainly reserved for a later session of brainstorming.

Oooh, how am I supposed to approach Starlight Glimmer about this? She mulled it over in her mind, tilting her head from side to side. The thought tossed and turned and tumbled as she bounced around methods in her head. Do I bring this up at lunchtime? Magic studies, maybe? No… dinnertime? Wait, what about as we pass each other in the hallway?

Frustration reached a peak as she threw her hooves up in the air! “None of those times seem appropriate!” she cried before slumping her head on the table, forehooves pressed firmly on her temples. It was hopeless; no matter what time she thought of, no time seemed like a good time to bring up what made her so uncomfortable with Starlight.

Knock knock

The knocks on the door nearly jolted Twilight out of her chair. “C-Come in!” she said in a slightly rushed tone.

As the door opened in a familiar turquoise color of magic, Starlight Glimmer poked her head in. “Sorry Twilight, did I disturb you? Were you in the middle of something?”

Twilight waved her forehooves dismissively. “Not at all! I was just deep in thought. You know how I get when I’m in here.” Settling herself down a bit, she got out of her chair and took a deep breath before returning Glimmer’s worried expression with a warm smile. “Did you need something?”

Starlight’s ears bent slightly. “Well, I’m not sure now’s a good time to ask…”

“Starlight, any time is a good time to ask me.” She paused a beat before adding, “Except in the middle of the night unless it’s a Class V Emergency.”

“But finding a bathroom in this castle when you need one is an emergency!”

“Yes, Starlight. A Class II emergency, at most.” Twilight chuckled lightly. “So what was your question?”

“Well...” Starlight began as she walked into the library, and as she did Twilight froze in place, her eyes shrinking to pinpricks as they took in the thing that Twilight wanted to ask about, but lacked the proper etiquette to address in a reasonable manner. Whatever words Starlight spoke next fell on deaf ears.

There, on Starlight’s flank where her shooting star cutie mark typically resided, two words instead read:

Next Princess

Twilight had planned for having this conversation, to a point. She’d seen other phrases or remarks adorning Starlight’s flank before: On Training Wheels, I Love Magic, Friendship Newbie, Property of Spike the Brave and Glorious, Rabbit Wrangler, Egghead Extraordinaire… the list goes on and on. Most of them were harmless or silly, with one particular exception resulting in a very long talk with a certain baby dragon. Other than that, it hardly seemed worth bringing up to Starlight.

Until now, and Twilight was about as prepared as a filly that stayed up until midnight studying for a test.

“Starlight,” Twilight interrupted, causing Glimmer to stop talking.

“Y-Yes, Twilight?”

Twilight pointed her hoof to Starlight’s flank. “What is that?!”

Starlight turned to her flank, then back to Twilight. “Twilight, I’ve been talking about that for the past two minutes!”

“Starlight, I can’t BELIEVE you—wait, you have?”

“Yes! I just said these words on my flank aren’t coming off, and I’ve been doing everything I can to remove them!”

“...So you didn’t put those words on your flank?”

“No! Why would I?! I mean, I know I made some progress, but I’m not princess material. I’m barely friendship material!”

Twilight blinked a few times. She studied for the wrong test.

“I, uh… this did not go how I expected it would.”

“What do you mean?” Starlight gasped. “You knew about this?!”

“Yes—I mean no, not about these words on your flank, but about all of the other words. I didn’t expect it to turn into a big problem like this!”

“Neither did I, but here I am!” Starlight grabbed Twilight and shook her in a panic. “Help me!”

Twilight gently pushed Glimmer away with the grace of a crowbar prying open a locked door. She took a deep breath. Deeper. Deeper. After a lengthy exhale, she tried to refocus her thoughts on the matter.

“Okay, so what have you done to try and remove this?”

Starlight lit her horn up, and pulled in a scroll she left outside the library door. She calmly unfurled it from one end and let the rolled-up parchment drop to the floor. Twilight watched as it rolled out beneath the table she sat at, beelining for the massive crystalline window behind the table until it stopped just short of it.

Returning her gaze along the length of the scroll and back to Starlight, who’d just opened her mouth to start reading the list. Twilight opted for a faster explanation.

“Better question: what haven’t you tried?”

Glimmer pointed to a section just after the halfway point. “Everything past ‘Summing a demonic tattoo removal expert.’”

Twilight glanced at the area she indicated, her eyes widening as she read something Starlight already attempted. “You summoned a giant octopus?!”

“Well yeah! I thought those suction cups would take it off! Y’know, like a big, nasty, slimy, sticky bandage!”

Twilight blinked, her face trying to decide if it wanted to register shock or “forcing a smile to feign not being angry”, and failing miserably at both. “Is… it still here?”

“Spike’s fending it off right now with a wet towel. I’ve never seen him be so cool!” Smiling at her recollection of the scene, she added, “It’s like he’s done this before!”

Twilight gulped. “Y-You could say he’s got some experience…” Twilight promptly cleared her throat. “Moving on, we’re not continuing with this list you’ve made.”

“So I’m not summoning a demon?” Starlight asked as if that was still an option.

“Starlight, I’d rather let you visit Tirek for friendship advice than conjure an eldritch horror,” Twilight deadpanned.

“...Is that actually an option? Because I could still use more friends—”

“Definitely not!”

~~~

“Okay, so if we’re not summoning a demon, then what are we doing?” Starlight trotted behind Twilight as the two made their way through the center of Ponyville, just past Town Hall.

Twilight turned her head back slightly to address Starlight. “The way I see it, if you didn’t put those words on your flank, then somepony else did. And said somepony really wanted to make sure you couldn’t take it off.”

“Do you know somepony that can remove it?”

“Unfortunately, no. The only pony I know of that could have helped went on a trip to Rainbow Falls this week for some exotic flora not native to the Everfree.” Pausing for a moment, she added, “I do know a certain expert at removing marks from flanks, but she’s having troubles of her own at the moment.”

Starlight ran ahead of Twilight and cut her off. “Twilight, I am desperate to get this fixed. Who is this pony?!”

Twilight blankly stared at Starlight. No no, Twilight. Don’t correct her. Just wait for it...

After a moment or two, it clicked. “...Oooh, right. You meant me.”

Letting out a sigh, Twilight pressed onward through the streets to the outskirts of town. “Anyway, since removing it ourselves isn’t an option, there’s only one thing left for us to do.”

“What’s that?”

“Find the pony that did this to you and make them undo it!” Twilight declared as the pair crossed over a small bridge over a tiny creek. “And fortunately for us, I’ve already got a few suspects in mind.”

“Great! Then we’re heading to one of those suspects right now?”

“Correct, Starlight. The first suspect on my list is one that’s known to cause trouble before. In fact, he’s the most obvious suspect I can possibly think—”

“It’s Discord, isn’t it?”

“...Maybe.”

“Really, Twilight? Discord and I just became casual acquaintances! Why would he use me to get to you?”

“Starlight, please just trust me on this. I know you’re on good terms with him now, but in one moment you’re going to see just how much he can mess with us.”

~~~

“Really, Twilight?” Discord asked, arms, legs and horns crossed as he hovered in the air looking down at the two ponies on the porch of Fluttershy’s cottage.

“Yes.”

Discord gestured to himself. “You would suspect me?”

“Absolutely.”

“After everything we’ve been through? I would prank your treasured pupil just to get under your skin?”

“All the yes.”

Discord grinned. “Twilight, you wouldn’t believe how incredibly flattered I am that you think I would do this! Truly, honestly.” Discord reached up, plucked a stetson out of thin air, and set it upon his head. The tone of his voice shifted to a mock country accent. “But y’all got the wrong bandit, ladies. Ah had nothing to do with this.”

“DISCORD!” Applejack’s voice boomed out from the orchard down the road. Applejack ran up to the fence, shaking a forehoof angrily. “Gimme mah hat back!”

“Tch.” Discord snapped his fingers, and the hat poofed off of his head and back on its rightful owner. “She’s such a spoilsport, but boy is she a fun neighbor to toy with! You should have seen her when I turned one of her trees into a pineapple tree—”

“A-hem.” Twilight cut him off immediately.

“Oh, fine, back to business.”

“Aw, but I wanted to hear more about that,” Starlight griped.

Discord leaned down and whispered into Glimmer’s ear. “I’ll tell you all about it later, okay?” She nodded eagerly, and Discord slithered around the pair and back in front of both of them.

“Firstly, I’ll state once more this was not my doing, not in the slightest. As fruit goes, this joke is a bit low to the ground. Clever, yes, but putting forth almost no effort! Any two-bit magic user can weave their fingers or wiggle their horn about and suddenly poof, changed cutie mark!"

Starlight pouted slightly. “I’m mildly offended right now.”

“Well… even if it wasn’t you, can you change it back?” Twilight said.

"Of course not! I’m an artist that has no time for literal petty revenge plots! Do I look like some sort of crazed pony who just holds on to jars and jars of cutie marks like some sort of unhinged recluse who lives in the middle of nowhere?"

“More offended…” Starlight growled.

“Anyhow, Starlight is powerful, strong-willed, although reckless with a habit of looking before she leaps. She also has developed a slight habit of saving the day even through some crudely introduced deus ex machina, but I suppose that counts for something.” Discord stared intently at Twilight as he finished his remark.

“Er… what are you saying?” Twilight replied, an uneasy feeling crawling along her back.

Discord smirked, announcing with glee, “Perhaps the new mark is fitting, and dear Glim-Glam should be allowed to keep it!"

Starlight looked back at her flank, then back to Discord, mirroring his smile. “Less offended!”

“More offended!” Twilight objected, and wheeled around and started heading back into town. “Come on, Starlight. Discord didn’t do it, so we’re moving on to the next suspect!”

“Okay, Twilight. Sorry for bothering you, Discord.”

“It’s no bother.” Discord leaned closer once Twilight moved out of earshot. “Now, if you ever want to bother her on purpose, I have an idea you can try out…”

~~~

“Starlight, what took you so long?” Twilight asked as she trudged back into town, her hooves digging a bit into the ground with each step.

“Sorry! Discord wanted to tell me one more thing before I left.”

“Was it important? Like, removing those words on your flank important?” Twilight asked.

Starlight started, “Not really, but—”

Twilight cut her off. “Then I don’t care. We’ve got more important things to worry about than his ramblings.”

“...Okay. If you say so,” was said with a small shrug of the shoulders as Starlight caught up to Twilight’s pace. “So who’s next on the list?”

“Somepony both of us know very well.”

“Oh, so one of your friends?”

“No,” came Twilight’s blunt answer. “It’s one of yours.”

Starlight pursed her lips in thought before something clicked. “You don’t mean…”

~~~

“Really, Twilight?!” Starlight shouted as they stood outside a modest wagon belonging to a not-so-modest magician.

“Really, Twilight?” Trixie asked, wearing a look sitting at the crossroads of doubt and disdain.

“I’m covering all of my bases, okay?!” Twilight said in a half-defensive, half-accusatory tone.

“You still think I hold a grudge against you after all this time?” Trixie pointed a hoof to herself in a fabulous flourish. “Me, the Friendly and Forgiving Trixie?”

Twilight braced a hoof to her head. “I… I don’t know, maybe? I know you’ve still got some animosity towards me, though I wouldn’t go so far as to say it’s a grudge.”

“And I wouldn’t go so far as to meddle with my friend’s flank to get under your skin.”

Starlight said, “You see, Twilight? Trixie would never—”

“I would use her flank to promote my new show instead!”

“—do anything to-wait WHAT?!”

Undaunted by the exclamation, Trixie continued, “With permission, of course. Trixie’s planning the newest, greatest show to grace the land of Equestria!” With a broad flourish, she announced, “The Great and Powerful Trixie’s Dangerously Optimistic Original Demonstration of Olfactory Odors!”

“...Doo Doo?” Twilight clarified.

“You want to put Doo Doo on my butt?!” Starlight shrieked.

“It’s a work in progress!” Trixie shouted.

“Work on it harder!” Starlight growled through clenched teeth. “I’m not advertising a show with that kind of name!”

“I am! More so now that Twilight pointed out a significant flaw.” Trixie faced Twilight. “Thank you, by the way. I hate you, but thank you.”

“Uh… you’re welcome?”

Trixie sidled over to Starlight, wrapping one hoof on her back. “Anyway, putting aside my ambitions, Trixie has already learned her lesson, Twilight. I greatly prefer to have such powerful friends in my corner, and would never harm my friend to get to you.”

The angry features in Starlight’s face gave way to a small surprise. “You... really mean that?”

Her question met with a warm, earnest smile. “Of course.”

Starlight blushed lightly as Trixie let go and stood next to her friend. Trixie continued, “You see now, Twilight? What could Trixie possibly have to gain undermining our friendship again?”

Twilight sighed, hanging her head in defeat. “I… guess you have a point. This really did seem like a paranoid option.”

“Paranoid?” Trixie tilted her head, pondering for a moment before she put on a smug grin. “You’re still upset she picked me over you when she had to visit her old town, aren’t you?”

“NO! ...Well, maybe a little, but I’m not mad about it!”

Trixie turned to Starlight. “Did that sound convincing to you?”

Starlight shook her head. “Not in the slightest.”

“Augh! It’s not important now. You didn’t do it, that much is clear.”

“Happy to hear I’m cleared of suspicion, Princess Twilight. Can I go now to rethink the name of my show?”

“Yes,” Starlight answered before Twilight could. “Please do, and let me know when you have a name that’s not so crappy.”

“Will do, Starlight!” With that, Trixie reentered her wagon and closed the door behind her.

As soon as the door shut, Starlight wheeled on Twilight. “Okay Twilight, I’m starting to think ‘find the culprit’ isn’t a great or efficient idea anymore.”

“Not done yet,” Twilight muttered.

“Pardon?”

“I said, Starlight, that I’m not done yet. I have two more suspects in mind that we haven’t spoken with.” Twilight started storming off toward town, irritation coming off of her in small, erratic waves.

“Are they Sunburst and Thorax? Because my pool of kinda-close friends comes to zero after that!” Starlight said with an equal amount of irritation.

“Nope! They’re my friends this time.”

“Oh, this should be good,” Starlight murmured with an eyeroll.

“What was that?”

She quickly smiled with gleaming teeth. “Nothing!”

~~~

The travel through town was mostly quiet, if one didn’t count the hustle and bustle of the daily lives of Ponyville townsfolk as noise. Nor if one counted the huffing and puffing of a peeved alicorn as she stood near a fountain with her faithful student in tow, with a pink and cyan pony curled up on the ground in front of them.

“BAHAHAHAHAHAHA!”

Especially if one did not count their rolling laughter.

“Pinkie! Rainbow Dash! Will you two just liste—

“AHAHAHAHAHA!”

Starlight took a few steps forward to stand beside Twilight. “Twilight, I don’t think you’re going to get anything out of them.”

Twilight was undeterred. “Starlight, I’m going to get through to them and get some straight answers if it’s the last thing I do. Now—” she focused a glare on her friends “—will you knock that off so I can butt in and ask some questions?!”

The laughter stopped for a brief moment.

“BAHAHAHAHAHA! Butt in! AHAHAHAHA!” Pinkie continued her unrestrained laughter, as did Rainbow.

“Pinkie!” Twilight’s nostrils were flaring by this point. “This is no time for bad jokes!”

“Twilight, stop it!” Starlight cut in. “You’re making an ass of yourself!”

Silence, again for a brief moment before another round of laughter. One heartbeat later, Starlight’s laughter joined the party.

“HAHA! Oh my gosh, I’m—hahaha—so sorry Twilight!”

Twilight’s unamusement found a form on her face as a scowl of disapproval. “Now that sounds insincere.”

“Who cares?! HAHAHAHA! That was so good, Starlight!” Rainbow Dash spoke between her bursts of laughter. “Maybe you do deserve those words!”

Twilight sighed deeply, observing her three ~~traitors~~ friends on the floor. “I’m not even sure why I thought this was a good idea…”

~~~

In a blinding flash of purple-white light, Twilight and Starlight found themselves in the throne room of Canterlot castle.

“Okay Twilight, why are we here?”

“Two reasons. The first being I don’t feel comfortable showing my face in Ponyville for the rest of the day.”

Starlight tilted her head slightly. “Why? At this point, having a good laugh about this crazy situation really helped me wind down over it.”

Twilight gave her a look that said the exact same thing as the next word she spoke. “...Seriously?”

She met with a gleeful smile from Starlight. “Yeah! I mean, sure, at this point I might be stuck with a permanent future princess mark on my flank, but so far everypony’s been mostly supportive over it!”

“Except me,” Twilight clarified.

“And that’s why I said mostly supportive.”

“Excuse me,” came a regal voice of the alabaster alicorn sitting on the throne in the middle of the room. Celestia lowered the scroll she was scribbling away in before she continued, “But is this really the time and place, moreso place, to have this conversation?”

“Princess Celestia!” Starlight announced with the tone of apology mixed with confusion. “I’m sorry for the intrusion, but Twilight—”

“Second reason! Princess Celestia!” Twilight announced with a pointed hoof and slightly unhinged undertones, “What did you do to my student’s flank?!”

Shock and disbelief found a roommate with the look of terror on Starlight’s face. “OH MY CELESTIA, Twilight!”

Celestia blinked a few times, processing the situation with the most eloquent response she could muster in the span of two seconds. “‘...Uh, what?’ and ‘Yes, my little pony’, respectively.”

“Celestia, look! Look at her flank!”

Celestia calmly left her seat, and approached Starlight Glimmer calmly and curiously. Upon noting the written words adorning the buttcheeks, she closed her eyes in thought.

“I see… Twilight,” she spoke in a way that expertly hid a tinge of disgust, “I have two things of my own to say.

“Firstly, did I ever outright tell you outright you were going to be the next Princess?"

"Well, no, but—"

"No, I didn't. I gave you a journal to fix, spent a good four hours of my day patiently waiting in an ethereal memory void to perform a top secret alicorn ascension ritual just for you, and I gave you a free pair of wings and title to boot!"

"But… But what about the musical song?"

"Came up with that on the fly while I waited for you to finish. Not important! What matters, Twilight, is I would never be so forward as to directly announce the next Princess pony by stamping their flank with a seal of prior approval! Do you realize how crazy that sounds?”

“...Yes, I knew. I knew this would be a longshot, but I still tried anyway. I vainly hoped I would find the culprit so Starlight would be okay, I would be okay, and this miserable day would be over long before it turned into this mess!” Twilight buckled to the floor, covering her face in shame. “I-I’m sorry, Celestia! I never should have gone this far!”

The stern, motherly chastising expression melted away to soft, soothing, and joyful complexion. “It’s alright, my dear Twilight. You are forgiven.” At the sight of purple ears perking up she added, “Assuming you come to terms with the reality of this prank, considering it has taken you for quite a ride to have you come this far.”

“Taken me for a ride?” she asked.

Celestia took a deep breath, preparing for a very long talk. “Twilight, this prank was remarkably simple. All it took was a few minutes and a bit of paint and penmanship… and maybe a bit of arcane trickery to make sure it stays there. It’s hardly an exhausting effort to pull off.

“Your actions, however, seem far more exhausting. I don’t know how many you accused before coming here, but—”

“Fifty-plus unicorns, four fillies, three diamond dogs, two psychotic pranksters, and a somewhat peeved draconequus,” Starlight clarified.

“—thank you, Starlight. That many. You went through so many suspects of your own volition when you didn’t have to. You spent all the legwork while dragging your student behind in your wake. ‘Tis admirable you tried to solve her problem, but when you made it your problem to solve, that’s precisely when you fell for the merry prankster’s little game.”

“...So if I didn’t get so worked up over this, then…”

“Things would have played out very differently for you, your student, and the merry prankster that’s no doubt guffawing over the great lengths you’ve covered.”

Twilight lowered her head to the ground in shame. “I get worked up way too easily, don’t I?”

“That you do, Twilight. Which is why you should spend perhaps a little less time fretting for your friends. They’re perfectly capable of fretting for themselves.”

“I understand. Sorry for bothering you, Princess Celestia.” Twilight began charging her horn again, the intent clear to go back home.

Celestia teleported in front of Twilight, the light and sudden appearance disrupting her spell. “Twilight, stop right there. I’m not done.” Celestia took a deep breath, and smiled. “I still have the second thing to say.”

“Is it ‘you’re on princess probation for a month’?”

“Close, except not at all!” Celestia continued, “I know who wrote that message, and I’ll take care of them. In the meantime…” With a radiant yellow glow of her horn, Celestia fired a beam at Starlight’s flank. The sound of shattering glass echoed as the words and letters fell away, revealing a shooting star once more. “That should take care of your problem.”

Starlight looked upon her flank, and burst into cheer! “Woohoo! I have my flank back again!”

Twilight’s head shot back and forth between Starlight’s cured flank and Celestia’s happy grin. “Wha… How did you do that?”

“That, my little pony, is my little secret.”

“Then what are you going to do, Celestia?”

“Simple.” Another charge of her horn began to take form. “Take care of my problem.”

In a gleaming white light not unlike her radiant sun, Celestia vanished.

“So now that this is all over, I want to celebrate! And also thank you for putting up with this!”

“That’s very thoughtful, Starlight! What did you have in mind?”

“Oh, Discord gave me quite a few ideas to work with.” Starlight’s teal glow charged up on her horn. “I’ll go on ahead and get things started. I hope you don’t mind it being extra cheesy!” In a bright blast of light, she was gone.

Twilight chuckled. “Heh, extra cheesy.” She paused, the words she just spoke oozing out as melty, gooey terms of terror. “Wait, cheesy?!”

~~~

Standing outside a hallway that seemed just a tad darker than the others in her castle despite having the same amount of ambient candlelight, Celestia looked upon a set of huge double doors. Drawing herself closer, she pressed an ear to the door.

Mirthful giggling on the other side. Celestia snorted, and pushed the door open to confront the source.

“Luna.” Opening the door, she witnessed one Princess of Night cupping her hooves to her mouth as she rolled about her bed. She didn’t seem to notice, or care, about Celestia’s intrusion.

“Luna!” A bit more force, and finally she registered the name.

“Sister!” Luna announced with jovial fervor. “How-How goes thy day?” She spoke, trying to catch her breath.

“Oh, fine. Just fine. Dealt with Twilight going on another one of her misguided crusades.”

“I-Is that so? She came here?”

“Yes, sister. She did.” Celestia firmed her tone. “You’re still somewhat childish, you know. Playing with Twilight like that set her off on quite the little warpath.”

“It did, but it is well-deserved.”

“But why, Luna? Why was she a target of your ire?”

Luna straightened up, looking out toward the sky through the window.

“She didn’t decorate for me.”

“...What?”

“On Nightmare Night. She never bothered decorating her castle. Not a single bale of hay or cornstalk to be seen. No cobwebs, spiders, creepy crawlies or ghoulish ghosties, nothing! It was bare, sister! Nowhere close to being in the spirit of the holiday!”

“Wait, really? Not even a pumpkin?”

“Not a one! She didn’t make a single effort to decorate her new home that night, yet Hearth’s Warming got all the jingle bells, wreaths and whistles! It’s utter lunacy!”

“Okay, I can see why you’re mad about this. But couldn’t you have just told her to try and get more into the spirit?”

“Of course I did!”

~~~<

Back, way back before all this nonsense began, Luna tiptoed her way through Twilight’s crystalline castle, setting her sights on a certain room that is neither a bathroom or one of the many, many broom closets she stumbled upon trying to locate the correct room.

“Spiiiike! How’s your costume coming along?”

“Almost got the second head sewn on! It’s kind of floppy though!”

“You need to make sure it’s nice and firm!”

“I’m trying, but there’s not enough stuffing in it now!”

“What about the third leg, Spike? Is that too stiff?”

"It might be. It's kind of hard to walk around with. I almost tripped myself on it."

“Sounds like there’s too much built up in there. I can get some of it out if you need help!”

“No thanks, I can squeeze it out myself!”

“Then you need to hurry up and finish! We have only one day left before Nightmare Night’s here!”

Luna, miraculously, managed to stifle her laughter long enough to wander over to the kitchen. There, she eyed her prize—the refrigerator. Slowly, she crept, a hoof reaching out to the door. Closer, closer…

There! Her carefully written sticky note was placed perfectly in the middle, bearing the words:

“Dear Twilight,

PUT OUT A PUMPKIN, DAMMIT!

~Luna”

Her mission complete, she made her way for the exit… but not before feeling around the kitchen for a somewhat-hidden cookie jar, just behind some of the baking ingredients in the pantry. Tch, amateur.

Pilfering a sweet treat, she left the castle with nary a trace of her ever being there, except for a simple little note.

<~~~>

“Seriously?” Celestia asks the second Luna finished her recollection.

“She opens the fridge at least twice a day! How could she possibly miss it?!”

“...wait, how do you know Twilight opens the fridge at least twice a day?”

“I'm privy to everypony's dreams, sister. You do not want to go down the path of figuring out the depth of what I know about everypony.”

Celestia was not amused by her sister’s ambiguity. “So, she sleepwalks?”

“Worse, Celestia. She sleepreads.”

Celestia blinked. “Nope, not worth asking.”

“Please don’t. Anyway, she missed the note, much to my dismay and irritation. But that does not mean the note was missed.”

“...Starlight?”

Luna nodded. “She noticed, and actually placed a pumpkin on the rear balcony facing Canterlot. It was so moving, respectful and kind!”

“Even so, I hardly think showing your appreciation in such an intrusive, aggravating manner was the best recourse you could come up with. Please, Luna. You’re an alicorn, and need to exert some level of responsibility!”

“I am sorry, sister. But WHICH powerful alicorn is this insipid speech supposed to be directed at? You certainly wouldn't speak this way if Twilight committed a diplomatic faux pas and the injured party responded with a minor prank."

“Luna! Don't you think you're blowing this out of proportion a tad? Twilight is VERY busy as a Princess of Friendship. Certainly you can look past this mess up and apologize proper.”

"Okay, fine! I will!” Luna announced, stepping forward toward her sister!

“Fine! You should!” Celestia countered with a step of her own, pushing forward and locking horns with Luna.

Faces pressed against each other, the sisters stared each other down for a time. Neither willing to back down.

“...hee hee…”

“What’s so funny, sister?”

“It just hit me. That conversation Spike and Twilight had. Heheehehe.”

Luna paused, the anger in her face fading away. “...heh.”

“Hehehe.”

“Hahaha!”

“HAHAHAHAHAHA!”

And thus, two sisters would end their struggle in a fit of raucous laughter that would go uninterrupted for quite some time—

"Also, you should maybe get Twilight a little something to make up for the trouble she went through, even if that 'trouble' was mostly her own doing."

Luna smirked. "How about a matching pair of skirts for her and Starlight Glimmer? A little practical cover-up would go a long way for her.”

“I don’t see why not.”

—Well, maybe one little interruption.

The End…

~~~<

Appearing in a flash of light, Starlight Glimmer trotted through the castle, a slight giddy spring in her step. “Oh, it feels so good having you back, cutie mark!” If she could hug her flank she would, no matter how weird that would sound or look.

"I’m so glad Twilight got to me before I kept going on my list. To think I almost summoned a tattoo demon to fix my cutie mark!” Starlight chuckled to herself. “What was I thinking being that desperate? Oh well, l’d better get started on lunch. Maybe Spike is done fighting the giant octopus by now! Spiiike!”

As she sought out the brave little dragon, hardly anything could dampen her spirits. But there was one other that wandered the castle, one that heard her jolly exclamations.

“A tattoo demon? That might just be the thing I need!”

<~~~>

...Maybe??