Rip offs, References, and Ponies

by All Art Is Quite Useless

Rating: teen
Tags: My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Tirek, Comedy, Starlight Glimmer, Random, Adventure, Sunset Shimmer, Twilight Sparkle, Discord
Length: 5545

The return of Tirek couldn't have came at a worse time. The Element bearers, save Twilight, are in Manehatten, sightseeing and doing other things which aren't important to the plot. Can Twilight manage to stave off Tirek without her counterparts?

The return of Tirek couldn't have come at a worse time. Well, it could have. It could have been raining too.

The Element bearers, save Twilight, are in Manehatten, sightseeing and doing other things which aren't important to the plot. Can Twilight manage to stave off Tirek without her counterparts? Will anypony else come to her aid? Will the fusion dance help matters? Will Rarity give her cab driver a generous tip?

Find out on the first and only episode of Rip offs, References, and Ponies!

Commissioned by New Lunar Principality.

Published 2017-02-25 16:30:01 UTC
Last updated 2017-03-01 21:34:35 UTC

Well, Can You Get Him In a Full Nelson?

In the Castle of Friendship, Starlight levitated a pencil in her aura, deliberating over what she wanted to write, and thinking back to what had already been written. She had reread the first paragraph of her letter a couple of times, but found it to be lacking in substance. Scowling, she levitated the pencil towards her muzzle and began to chew on the end.

So, brain, let me tell you why you need adjusting. I could have made any friend, any in the world! I mean, I'm hardly in the wrong place for it, am I? But no, you had to screw this up for me, didn't you brain? Oh, let's befriend Trixie, let's spite Twilight. Let's get emotionally invested in a pony that's never freaking here. Good job brain!

As Starlight continued to review her letter, which detailed the current mundanities of castle life, as well as her strong desire to go on a long trip around Equestria, she couldn't help but laugh. This was not the first time that she had dropped Trixie a strong hint. Starlight had been making it clear to Trixie in every way (apart from directly stating it), that she would love to go on tour with her for about a month now. Despite this, Trixie had never even acknowledged the idea, much to Starlight's annoyance, and eventually, slight amusement.

I'll just come out and suggest it one day. Worst she can do is say no, right? Starlight frowned at her letter. If I ask and she says no, I know it isn't going to happen. If there's a possibility of her saying no, I don't want to ask. I'll just whittle her down a little more first.

You know, looking at this letter, my hoofwriting has improved drastically over the past few months. Of course, I know exactly why. Between the letters I'm always sending to Sunburst and Trixie, and the friendship reports I'm constantly writing for Twilight, I'm surprised I'm not writing in my sleep by now. Seriously, if I had wanted to be a scribe, I would have taken lessons from Spike instead.

Starlight turned her attention to the window with a swift movement. The weather appeared calm and pleasant, as expected. She slowly cranked her head back to the letter, deflated. Would it be so much to ask for a thunderstorm or something? Well, I suppose without Rainbow here to break it up, the weather team wouldn't be likely to start producing dangerous storms. It's a shame, honestly.

Starlight stood, turning away from the letter. She was desperate for something else to do, if not just to alleviate her boredom for a few seconds. She thought of her other friends, all in Manehatten, doing something or other. They had not been especially specific at the time as to what they were doing, but Starlight was sure it had to be more fun than this.

Maybe I should just go somewhere for a while. I'm not bound here, after all. Canterlot, maybe? I've got enough bits to get a train there and back, and I could shop about a little while I'm there. It'd hardly do me any harm to get outside for a while, would it?

This thought served to calm Starlight, who was already considering whether or not to take her larger saddlebag. She decided she would finish her letter once she was on the train, as she may have more to write then, rather than sitting around and attempting to force out a few more sentences. As she was about to leave, however, there was a soft rapping against her bedroom door. Starlight recognised the clacking sound as one of Spike's knocks, and bade him entry.

Spike opened the door, an easy task for him, his claws almost as pliable and dexterous as magical manipulation, but not quite as practical. He appeared to be in good spirits, waltzing about to an invisible tune. He sounded upbeat in his tone when he spoke.

"Heya, Starlight! You going somewhere?" he gestured towards the saddlebag upon her flanks.

Starlight smiled, already growing a little excited for the trip. It wouldn't be exciting, per se, but it would be liberating. "Yes actually, Spike, I'm planning on going to Canterlot for the day."

"With Trixie, I'm guessing?" Spike replied.

Starlight lightly shook her head.

"Then with who, Starlight?" Spike leaned closer to Starlight, his eyes furtive. "Are you meeting a special somepony?" he whispered.

Starlight couldn't help but laugh, though she tried not to sound patronising in doing so, most likely failing. When she had recovered from the small fit of giggles, she decided to at least grace Spike's question with an answer. "No, Spike, why would you think something like that? I merely want to get away from the castle for a little while, that's all! I mean really, when would I have met somepony special in Canterlot anyway?"

"Well, you could have met them in Ponyville!" said Spike, a little defensively. "Besides, isn't it a little sad to spend the whole day out, all alone?" Spike bit his lip directly after blurting his last sentence.

Starlight didn't seem fazed at this comment. She turned and started to put her unfinished letter and pencil in her saddlebag, talking all the while. "Well, first of all, Spike, if I had met a special somepony, you would be one the first dragon to know, considering we live together." And, you're the only dragon I know. She let out a small sigh before continuing. "Second, to answer your question, yes, it is sad. Though not as sad as how amusing I find the idea of me going on a date with somepony. I wasn't just laughing because you were acting clueless, Spike, honestly."

This response must have taken the wind out of Spike's sails entirely, as he appeared to fidget, while his lips hovered between an presumably coherent response and silence. The result was completely inarticulate. A few seconds later, just as Starlight was about to reassure him that he hadn't offended her, Spike spoke up.

"Anyway! The reason I'm here is that Twilight sent for you. Not in like, an official way, or anything, she just wants to see you. She's got a friend visiting right now, and she wants to introduce you both. She thinks you'll get along pretty well."

This intrigued Starlight greatly, who thought she knew all of Twilight's friends already. In fact, she was interested enough that she forgot about Spike's comment, and her own insecurities, for the time being at least. "Who is this pony, then? Why haven't I met them before?"

"Welllll, technically she doesn't live very close by. Technically." Spike made sure to repeat.

Starlight gave him a blank look. "I don't follow. Explain?"

Spike shuffled a little in place, looking unsure what to say once more. This time, however, it didn't last. "It's better if you just meet her, Starlight, really."

"Oh, how cryptic." Starlight deadpanned. Way to deflect the question, Spike. She adopted a friendlier look, afraid that she might ruin Spike's mood further. "Well then, shall we?"

Spike began walking in the direction of the library, some of his previous gusto having apparently returned, as Starlight moved in tandem.

As they approached the library doors, Spike managed to quickly say: "By the way, you'll like her. Well, I think you will, anyway." Before Starlight had a chance to respond, Spike opened the door (with the same ease he demonstrated earlier), and entered, Starlight alongside him.

I won't walk behind him, it makes me look nervous. I learnt that from meeting Sunburst. Starlight stole a glance at the two ponies on the other side of the room, one her good friend and exhausting mentor, and the other an amber-gold unicorn with a wavy red and yellow mane. Speaking of Sunburst, is she his long lost twin or something? They look pretty damn alike.

As they approached, the two looked up and their way, both smiling, although the amber unicorn appeared a tad tremulous. When they had arrived, only a few paces away from where Twilight and her friend sat, Twilight took the initiative and made to introduce the pair, as the other pony hadn't yet said anything. Neither had Starlight spoken; although she was less nervous than she had been when confronted with Sunburst, this pony resembled him, and that alone put her slightly on edge.

Twilight motioned to her friend, then to Starlight. "This is Starlight, who I was telling you about earlier. She's my good friend, and an apprentice of sorts. But you already know that, don't you? Starlight, this is Sunset. I kind of met Sunset in the same way that I met you, Starlight, by getting off on the wrong foot with her! Thank goodness for friendship, right?"

Starlight couldn't help but look Sunset up and down, out of pure curiosity. Okay, that's uncanny. Not only do they look the same, but they both have 'Sun' at the beginning of their names? They've got to be related somehow.

Starlight let her speculations get the best of her. "It's lovely to meet you. Is Sunset your full name?"

Despite the strange question, Sunset did not protest, but proceeded to state that her surname was Shimmer.

"H-hold on, Shimmer?" Starlight choked back a laugh. "Your name is Sunset Shimmer, and mine is Starlight Glimmer?"

At this point Sunset saw the connection and began to join in, raucous laughter filling the hall. "Ah, jeez! That's pretty hilarious. Hold on, Barfight Winner will be here in a sec, and we've got Candlelight Dinner on her way too!"

During the commotion brought about by the two ponies, Twilight simply sat in confusion. "I don't remember inviting a 'Candlelight Dinner' here? I'd know if I did, in fact I don't think I've even met a pony with that name! Sunset, what are you talking about?"

Sunset took a moment to calm herself, wiping an errant tear from her eye before responding. "Oh, Twilight, they're joke names! You never heard a joke before?"

Twilight looked at her, still struggling to see the correlation, and shrugged, nonchalant. "I dunno. When you've been around Pinkie Pie for as long as I have, I think you kind of become desensitised to jokes."

Sunset began to laugh once again, slapping her hoof against the coffee table she sat by. "See, that was funny! How can you have such a hard time with jokes when you make them so often?"

Twilight still looked equally confused. "Hold on, I made a joke just then?"

"Uh, yes?" Sunset replied.

Starlight looked between the pair, then said: "I don't think Twilight was joking, actually. If you knew Pinkie Pie, then you would most likely understand."

Sunset tilted her head. "But I do know Pinkie?"

"Okay, seriously, how have I never heard of you until now? Believe me, that mare talks about everything, so I'm sure you would have come up in conversation sooner or later."

"Well, that's complex. I mean, what I actually mean to say is that..."

"Go on?" Starlight pressed.

"Well to put it simply, I live the same place as you, except I kind of don't. This is hard to explain, and quite a bit to take in, but I'll try. Have you ever heard of parallel dime--"

Sunset's explanation was cut off by another voice, one that didn't come from the library, and wasn't in any way tangible. The magically amplified voice was as deep, gruff, and condescending as it was intimidating.

"Princess Twilight... I have returned to take back what you took from me... Imagine my anger and distress when I found that ultimate alicorn magic could be trumped by the power of friendship." Tirek, for that is who the voice belonged to, sounded as if he had spat the word 'friendship'. "What you took from me then, you, and all of the creatures of Equestria shall pay back to me tenfold. This, is my first decree. I have waited until now, this very moment in time, when your fellow element bearers are all so far away, to bring vengeance upon you, and your kingdom. It is with much pleasure that I will--"

Twilight had taken the time that Tirek had spent speaking to get over her fear and shock, and had begun to grow annoyed. She turned to the other two ponies in the room, both of whom appeared completely off-guard, not to mention stupefied.

"No time to wait, plan now." Twilight barked, getting the other's attentions. "Spike, send a letter to Celestia, now."

"What should I say in it, Twilight?" Spike asked, visibly worried.

"Oh, gee, I don't know. Why not start with what I had for breakfast this morning, and then detail the visit from Sunset, and what tea we drank, and what I think of the latest book I read, and then oh! Maybe, just maybe, you could mention the pissed off centaur freshly broken out of Tartarus?! If you could manage that, and of course send my regards, I would be very grateful, thank you, Spike."

"Alright, Twilight! There's no need to bite my head off, is there?" Spike yelled.

Twilight spun to face him. "What are you still doing here? Letter to Celestia, now!"

Spike scampered away as quickly as he could, shaken, but determined to still be of some use. Tirek had finally finished talking, stating that Twilight had twenty minutes to meet him on the northern outskirts of town, or he would start to demolish buildings, whether or not ponies were inside.

Sunset turned towards Twilight, looking significantly more nervous than she had. "I'll assume you recognise that voice as Lord Tirek, from what you said to Spike?"

Twilight took a shallow breath before responding, her tone a little less scalding than before. "Yep, it's him. No doubt about it."

"Well, what the heck are we gonna do about it?" Starlight chimed in.

Twilight raised her eyebrows, letting out a scornful laugh. "Do about it? Starlight, we're gonna try our best to entertain him for a little while, so he doesn't treat us like a light snack. If we can stall him long enough, word can get to the princesses, and we can get some back up."

Starlight shook her head, glancing sidelong at Twilight. "I know how Tirek works and so do you. The longer we wait to fight him, the more power he absorbs from the ponies in his way! Twilight, we have to stop him now, before he can do any more damage." Starlight switched her eye's focus. "Sunset, can you fight?"

Sunset struggled to answer, chewing the inside of her cheek between words. "Well... I'm a capable mage, I suppose. But this is Lord Tirek, the wandering siphon. How are we meant to put a dent in him? My offensive spells are less powerful than Twilight's, and she couldn't finish him off last time."

"But he might not be as powerful this time!" Starlight growled in response.

"You really wanna find out?"

"Stop!" Twilight exclaimed. "Listen, both of you, there may be a way, but it's risky. You were right Starlight, we do need to stop him now. My friends are too far away, and the princess was no match for him last time. It's best if we attack him now while he's not as powerful as he was before. Coming here so soon was a bad tactic on his part. First off, he doesn't know how strong I am without Celestia, Luna and Cadence's alicorn magic, but I'll bet you he's assuming I'm pretty weak. I think this is just a revenge thing. Also, he doesn't seem to have any clue you two are here, which gives me an advantage." Twilight stopped to smile at them both before continuing. It was a weak smile, but a genuine one. "You two are both extremely powerful unicorns, but you won't be able to stand up to Tirek alone, just as I couldn't last time. Tell me, do either of you know how to perform the fusion dance?"

Sunset grinned. "Well of course! I mean, I did go to Celestia's school for pete's sake. I've not done it in a while though, it can be a little invasive with the wrong pony."

Starlight was once again shocked by this revelation. "Hold on, you went to Celestia's school?"

"I was her personal student at one point."

"HOW HAVE I NOT HEARD OF YOU?" Starlight looked at Twilight, presumably to ask more questions, then did a double take, then realised what Twilight had just asked them both. "Hold on... Who's gonna have to fuse?"

"You two." Twilight said solemnly.

"What?!" Starlight shouted. "Why do we have to do it? I mean sure, I like her and all, but it's so personal! You're asking me to literally combine body and minds with a total stranger! Why can't you two do it? Or I do it with you?" To her relief, Sunset looked equally perturbed by the idea of fusing with her.

Twilight rubbed a hoof against the side of her head as she spoke. "Look, when I said there's a way, I didn't mean through fusion. I mean sure, you might be strong enough to off him while you're fused, I don't know. You're both extremely powerful. But, I've been working on an attack for a while now, that I think would be just enough to wipe Tirek out."

Sunset and Starlight smiled and jumped up in unison. "That's great!" Sunset started. "Why didn't you say anything befo--"

"Problem is I have to charge it."

"Oh?" Starlight said.

"For about five minutes."

"Oh." Sunset concluded.

"And considering how bad he was whooping my butt before..." Twilight paused and shook her head, before putting on what was clearly a faked smile. "No, you know what? You can probably handle it."

Starlight sighed, chest contracting, and narrowed her eyes. "While I'm going to ignore how utterly false that sounded, I have to wonder about something. Where does the Princess of Friendship get off developing new attacks? Surely that's a pretty unfriendly pastime."

Twilight's eyes lit up, as if she had been waiting for this question. "Well, actually, this attack isn't completely kinetic energy, like most repulsion spells are. This attack in particular is bolstered by positive thoughts and feelings, relating directly to friendship magic. It's taken me a while to combine them, but if I'm able to put all of my energy into one spell, then back it up with raw emotion, I should be able to pull it off. I've already thought of a name for it too! The 'Friendship Beam Cannon'. I was thinking I could yell it when I fire it too, does that sound cool to you guys??" Twilight looked hopeful when she finished speaking, as if she was expecting praise, and scowled when she received none.

When I said I was bored of castle life, I didn't have this in mind as a solution. At least I'll have something worthwhile to write to Trixie about, if I live through this. Starlight physically shuddered at the thought of writing another letter. Alright, fine, screw it. Let's go get this prick.

Sunlight Shimglim is Born!

"So, Princess Twilight, you have bought two other equines to die for you. You really must have an abundance of friends, all willing to die defending you." Tirek was a huge, imposing creature, with a muscular body and an intimidating stance. His voice boomed as he spoke, no longer amplified by way of magic, but still just as punchy. That is, apart from when he spoke the word 'friend'. The utterance was similar in tone to the guttural sound of retching.

Tirek regarded the trio of would-be opponents, standing in the thick grass, in the wake of Whitetail woods, snarling all the while. "Look at you... With your styled manes and your fuzzy coats, you are weak! Weak and insignificant, relying on magical artifacts and the strength of others to fight your battles, it is pathetic." Tirek spat, eyeing each of the unicorns, and then Twilight, whom has gaze settled upon for the longest.

"You" A beat. A condescending glance. "are not fit to be named Princess of anything. It is by luck... blind luck, and coincidence alone that you found more magic at our last meeting. You would have given up everything for your friends: your strength, your magic, your ability to fight, even your kingdom. Now, where will it get you? Weak willed equines are little more than bargaining chips, and even then they are more trouble than they are worth."

Tirek then stopped speaking, and began to stroke his beard, grumbling to himself all the while. A moment later, he flashed a sinister grin, and pronounced, "In light of this, I will not capture your friends, nor shall I barter for their lives with you. No, instead, I shall kill them where they stand, as a courtesy." Before Twilight could voice her apparent confusion, marred by shock as it was, Tirek continued, his voice the smoothest she had heard it. "And it will be a courtesy, as they will be drained first. I will purloin every iota of strength in their bones, every bit of strain I can find, and I will leave them begging for death."

Tirek paused, likely revelling in Twilight's apparent distress. "Then, as I am merciful, I will grant their pained, pathetic pleas." His voice lost it's lustre, and became serious and rough once again. "This is the fate that would await those that stand against me. Princess Twilight, you should surrender now, rather than prolonging the inevita--"

The last syllable of Tirek's sentence, along with the rest of his breath, was stolen in one swift motion. Starlight had conjured a disk from the intangible, which was firmly wrapped around the neck of Tirek, and growing tighter with each passing moment. Her horn glowed with a mild intensity, but her view's focus upon the disk remained strong and uninterrupted.

Sunset began to cackle in spite of their situation, and Tirek's predicament, before throwing a hoof into the air and cheering with enthusiasm. "Thank Celestia!" She exclaimed, "I thought he would never shut up! Okay, so while you're all clammed up over there, allow me to make a few points. First of all, shit, we get it, you don't like 'weak willed equines', but seriously, you're like half pony yourself. What even is the other half of you meant to be, anyway? Not important. Second of all, about relying upon the strength of others, isn't that, like, your whole gimmick? 'Hello filthy equine, I'm Tirek. I'm a centuar, whatever the heck that is. Just gonna steal your power now, hope you don't mind."

Sunset's impression was inaccurate and degrading, just as she had intended. "Third, I don't style my mane. That much. Nevermind." Sunset's blush was transient, but noticeable all the same. "And plus, don't even act like you don't groom that beard! Look at it, all neat and even, there's no way that's natural, so who's a big red hypocrite? And finally, please. You ain't gonna be draining anyone, not while I'm around. I mean seriously, you're being choked out by just one of us right now, why did we all even need to come? For such a big guy you really aren't all that dangerous, are you?"

"Um, Sunset?"

Sunset slowed in her dissection of Tirek's evil monologue, turning to face Starlight, who appeared rather subdued. "Yeah, Starlight?"

"You know that big magic disk I was choking Tirek with?"

"Well, yeah, it's right--"

"He ate it." Starlight deadpanned.

"He--He what? What do you mean ate it? I can still see the--"

"Well, he's absorbed it at least. What you're seeing there is the restraint magic, still active, but it's inside him now, its glow is still emanating too."

Sunset looked at Tirek in shock, who indeed was stood with an irritable look upon his face, but with no magical disk crushing his throat. Rather, there was a pale blue light protruding from his neck, gradually dimming by the second. She then looked back at Starlight, who looked equally worried.

"Um, Twilight, any input?" Starlight hesitantly asked, warranting no immediate response from Twilight, but a sharp reply from Sunset.

"We should fuse now." Sunset stated, all jocularity dispelled from her voice.

"W-What? Are you sure? Do we really need to do it so soon?" Starlight stammered, the wind was mild and even as she spoke, but the tremors she felt in the blades of glass around her fetlocks mirrored her own trepidation.

"Starlight, come on. He treated your chokehold like a snack for crying out loud! He already said he's got no problem with killing us, and seeing as Twilight is so preoccupied with being scared stiff, this may be our only way to actually hurt him." Sunset sighed heavily. "Look, I don't wanna do it either, but if it's this or death, I know what I'd prefer, so can we please just do it?"

Starlight tried to consider Sunset's words.If we don't do this, we're basically toast. Ugh, why can't things be simple for a change? I knew he was toying with me earlier, but if Sunset and Twilight had actually bothered to join in when I first attacked him, this might already be over, and I might not be about to join body and mind with a stranger. Starlight had to keep herself from grinning. Yes, that would be too easy. Besides, it wouldn't make that much of a letter, if it had played out like that. Freaking letters. Maybe that'll be the upside about fusing with Sunset, maybe I'll stop thinking about writing letters to ponies all the damn time. Maybe I'll want to do other things with my time. Maybe I'll get Trixie to actually take me around Equestria. ...Okay, maybe I'm getting a little ahead of myself here. Stop Tirek first, self-indulgence later.

Her mind made up, Starlight moved to stand parallel with Sunset. "Okay, we're only gonna get one shot at this, you sure you remember the technique?"

Sunset smirked at Starlight, throwing her mane back. "Girl, I'm a dance master. Break dance, contemporary, fusion, you name it!"

Marginally reassured, Starlight made to stand on her hind legs, with some difficulty, as Sunset rose to the same position with ease. As they eyed eachother, making sure their bodies were working in symmetry, they prepared to perform a feat of perfect synchronisation.

"Fuuuuu..." They chanted in chorus, forelegs initially pointed outwards, and then closing inwards in a crescent motion as they inched closer together. Their hind hooves pattered across the floor as they moved within six inches of eachother, neither of them breaking their fixed stare forwards as they did so.

"Sion...." By this point, Tirek appeared interested. He watched, without movement or comment, as both ponies moved onto just one of their hind legs, an incredible feat of balance for a pony, their forehooves pointing away from eachother once again.

"Ha!" With this last utterance, both unicorns struck their other hind leg back down to the earth, and pushed both of their forehooves together. When their forehooves connected, a harsh, bright blue glow was breathed into existence, seeming to completely envelop the pair, much to Tirek's confusion.

After the light, a residual effect of the fusion dance, had faded completely, only one unicorn remained. A unicorn that was neither Starlight nor Sunset.

This unicorn had a large, flowing mane, like Sunset's, but it was made up of mainly purple hues, with a small line of light amber running through the middle of her mane and tail. Her coat was a pale, violet tone, and her eyes a brilliant, shining blue. Her cutie mark, a flaming star, with two smoldering streams, was orange and aglow, and her horn, lit with a dark burgundy aura, served to lift her a few inches into the air, and then lower her again.

As Tirek studied this new unicorn, she disappeared before his eyes. Then, she reappeared, a brilliant white grin present upon her face. When she spoke, she sounded as if she was both Starlight and Sunset, speaking the same words in conjunction.

"I'm surprised you fell for such an easy trick, you're lucky I didn't destroy you just now. Replace the air particles around my physical space with those from a few millimetres away, and it's as if I was never there, so long as I keep moving. I'll give you that little trick for free, considering you'll never get a chance to use it after I'm done with you." The fusion laughed, her tone snide and contemptuous.

When Tirek spoke, it was not with his usual air of superiority, but with a tone of general scholarly wonder, one that did not befit his large, bulky body. "What is this magic?" He grunted. "What have you become?"

With this prompt, the fusion responded, boastfulness in her tone, and confidence in her stance. "I, Sunlight Shimglim, have been breathed into existence with the sole purpose of vanquishing you! Um, wait." The fusion of Starlight and Sunset paused to consider their wording. Sunlight Shimglim? Really? ...Hold on, Vanquishing? Whose influence is that?

Embarrassment emblazoned across the new fusion's face, she attempted to produce a scornful laugh, aimed directly at Tirek. "What I meant to say was that I, Starset Shglimmer, have ascended beyond the ranks of any one unicorn, and become a legend." That's not much better. Sounds Neighwegian. Ah well, no going back now, have to stay assertive.

Starset, for that was apparently her name, knitted her eyebrows together as she glared in Tirek's direction. "We won't need any alicorn God powers today, I've got all the magic this bitch can handle. Sorry Twilight!"

At this point, Starset flipped around and blew a kiss in Twilight's direction. Twilight, once again, said nothing, did nothing, and reacted to nothing.

Tirek, although visibly intrigued during the fusion, was becoming impatient. and as such voiced his contempt. "Humph. You are still filthy equine scum. Being a benevolent ruler, I will make this fair in you. I will fight without using any of my assault spells. Think you can handle that?"

"I handled your mother just fine." Starset quipped.

"Ha! Keep that attitude up and see just where it gets you."

"Bitch I'm about to smack your ass all the way back to Tartarus, I ain't the one that needs to worry."

"Like that means a thing." Tirek growled. "I have escaped twice and I could escape again, let's see you escape death."

"Can you guys shut up for a minute?!" Both Starset and Tirek turned, shocked, to see a furious Twilight glaring at them, her forelegs spread out, as if she was ready to pounce on whoever spoke first and beat them to a bloody pulp. "This is all a joke to you isn't it? I'm trying to charge up my attack, like we discussed, and you two wanna stand around and flirt with eachother? Seriously, what is this, a fight for the fate of Equestria, or the school playground?! Oh wait, none of you have been in a fight for Equestria before, have you? Starlight-- Sunset-- Whatever the hell you are, stop showboating and put up. Seriously, you could give Rainbow a run for her bits. Tirek, please stop talking, it's really irritating and I cannot for the life of me concentrate. In fact, I've made barely an inch of progress with charging this thing up, due to all of your incessant talking. From now on, I expect a level of consideration from the both of you. Are we all clear?" Twilight began lightly panting once her outburst had subsided, clearly her rant had more of an effect on her than she realised, or she had been putting a lot more into charging her attack than she thought.

Tirek, for all his height and strength, had nothing to say. Instead, he averted his eyes, scared to incur Twilight's wrath further. Eventually, once a few moments of awkward and nervous silence had pased, he settled his gaze upon Starset once again. Starset, however, spoke up.

"I Suppose you expect us to fight quietly too, Princess?" The playful smirk upon her face was one of a friend. The joke was well intended, but Twilight didn't seem to care.

"Celestia help me, if you don't stop talking right now, I will not be held responsible for my actions."

Starset swallowed, not responding to Twilight but nervously shifting around to face Tirek, who looked equally uncomfortable. "Hey, um, I think we should fight now." Before mum chews us out again.

When Tirek responded, it was in a tremulous voice. 'Yes, I think that's a good idea." As they inched closer, Tirek added a soft utterance of "filthy pony" for good measure, earning a soul shattering glare from Twilight, causing him to inch a couple of paces away from her.

Heh, if Twilight keeps mad dogging him like that, I might not need to fight him after all. Then again, she might just decide to kill me first. I think I'll try and finish this quickly, for my own sake.