A Birthday in the Life

by Sarcasmo

Rating: everyone
Tags: Slice of Life, Comedy
Length: 9492

On Rarity's birthday, everything goes wrong. She then makes a wish she regrets.

It's Rarity's birthday -the greatest day of the whole year- and all she wants is some quiet time with her fashion magazine.
But when a favor for a friend turns into a series of mishaps, Rarity makes a birthday wish she immediately regrets.

Published 1970-01-01 00:00:00 UTC
Last updated 2012-07-07 06:04:01 UTC

A Birthday in the Life

Rarity woke up, fell out of bed, dragged herself over to the alarm clock to see what time it was. She beamed when she noticed the date. It was a good day, a marvelous day, perhaps one of the greatest days in the history of Equestria. It was Rarity's birthday and she loved it.

After spending more than an hour in her bathroom, carefully applying her finest make up and her fanciest perfume, as well as taking exorbitant care of her coiffure, she was ready to present herself to the world in all her glory.

Rarity found her way downstairs where she was immediately greeted by her sister: “Happy Birthday, Rarity! I made breakfast for the best sister in the world.”

Sweetie Belle rushed over for a hug, which Rarity gratefully returned.

“Aren't you just the sweetest thing?” Rarity replied. “Thank you so much, Sweetie Belle. I don't know what to...”

Rarity didn't have time to look at her kitchen before. The initial shock slowly faded, after she reminded herself over and over again that Sweetie Belle's attempts at cooking would inevitably lead to destruction and chaos.

It wasn't too bad this time: The furniture was all still in one piece, there were only two recognizable burn marks at the ceiling, the orange juice was squeezed instead of cooked, leaving it unburned, and the pancakes still remained some shade of brown –not exactly a shade of brown one would expect pancakes to have, but still.

Hesitantly, Rarity sat down at the table, readying herself for the meal her sister was about to serve up. Simple enough, the breakfast consisted of only the pancakes and orange juice.

Rarity took a sip.

It was perfect: it was sweet and fresh, with just a hint of bitterness, the way she liked her orange juice best.

Next, Rarity tried the pancakes.

It was horrible: they tasted like rubber dipped in oil paint. These pancakes couldn't qualify as food, by no stretch of the word or one's own imagination. But seeing her sister eat them made Sweetie Belle as happy as a lark. Rarity would just have to put on a fake smile and continue eating.

“Mmmh! These pancakes are divine. A treat truly worthy of my special day,” Rarity lied.

“Really?” Sweetie Belle inquired, an eyebrow raised in suspicion.

“Yes, really,” Rarity reassured.

With a little luck, Rarity might convince her sister to only make these pancakes on special occasions, like her birthday, saving her for the rest of the year. Maybe a little bit of sugar could fix this atrocity...

Somehow, the sugar made it even worse. There was no way Rarity could finish these. She could already feel sickness rising from the bottom of her stomach, her throat contracting at the prospect of more pancakes. Determining that offense is the best defense, she decided to swallow the remainder of the pancake as a whole.

Unfortunately, Sweetie Belle misinterpreted this action as Rarity being unable to get enough of her cooking, and got ready to serve her some more.

“No!” Rarity cried out instantly, as she jumped up from her seat. “I mean: No, thanks. I... I'm afraid I lost my appetite. It must be the excitement of my birthday and all.”

Sweetie Belle, visibly content with her sister's explanation, served herself a pancake and sat down to eat. Now relieved, Rarity turned around to clean the kitchen before her guests would arrive.  She had little more than one more hour to make her home presentable.

Meanwhile, Sweetie Belle picked at her pancakes. “These taste awful,” she thought, “but if my sister likes them I'll probably make them more often.”

*  *  *

The guests arrived at one o'clock sharp. Rarity had cleaned up by then, and eagerly opened the door.

Pinkie Pie led the group of seven ponies and a baby dragon and was the first to congratulate Rarity. She carried two carts behind her: one was filled with five neatly-wrapped presents, the other was filled to the brim with party supplies.

The rest of the bunch quickly joined Rarity and Pinkie in a group hug.

“Happy Birthday, Rarity!” all of them wished.

“Now, we're going to throw you the best birthday party ever,” Pinkie declared. “And for that  we'll do everything like we planned. Applejack: to the kitchen! Rainbow Dash: lights! Fluttershy: Opalescence! Applebloom and Scootaloo: you play outside with Sweetie Belle! Twilight Sparkle and Spike: you come with me! Dismissed!” Pinkie Pie's tone of voice was worthy of a commander of the Royal Guard.

“Is there anything I can do?” Rarity asked.

Pinkie promptly answered: “Just enjoy yourself. Don't worry your pretty little head, your auntie Pinkie Pie's got it all taken care of.”

“If you say so.” This actually perfectly suited Rarity's book. Today had been the day the new edition of “Equestria Fashion”, containing the eagerly anticipated new fashion line of Hoity Toity, arrived at her house, and the best birthday gift she could think of was having time to browse through the magazine all day. She was so overcome with joy she squeed like a filly. Rarity made herself comfortable on her divan and turned the first page.

“Jumpin' Jiminy!” Applejack's voice called from the kitchen. “I completely forgot!”

Applejack was about to leave, when Rarity blocked her path, the possibility of a potentially juicy secret clouding her mind and determining her further actions.

“Is there something wrong, Applejack?” Rarity inquired.

“Yes, there is. Ya see, Chocolate Moos is coming over ta Sweet Apple Acres, 'cause I promised ta milk her. And ya know how cows get when they go too long without proper milkin',” Applejack explained. “On the other hoof, if I go now I'll probably won't have enough time ta bake yer cake.”

“How about if I help you and go to Sweet Apple Acres in your place?” Rarity offered, hiding her disappointment at the lack of potential gossip.

“That's mighty kind of ya, but you sure ya can handle it? I mean ya never milked before, have ya?”

“Oh, it'll be fine, darling!” Rarity reassured, shoving her friend back into the kitchen. “Basically all I have to do is squeeze the teats, right? How hard can it be? I'm positive Chocolate Moos and I will figure something out.”

“Why thanks, Rarity,” Applejack said. “I'm sure ta work extra hard ta make this the best cake ever!”

“I'm sure you will dish up something marvelous, like always,” Rarity replied.

With that, she was off to Sweet Apple Acres, her mind already filled with the delicious treat Applejack was making.

*  *  *

Over at the apple orchard Chocolate Moos was already waiting for her. The brown-coated cow was nervously adjusting the sun hat she was wearing.

“Hello, Miss. Do you happen to know where Miss Applejack might be?” Chocolate Moos asked.

“Hello to you too, Miss... Chocolate Moos was it? I'm afraid Applejack could not come today and has sent me as her replacement,” Rarity explained. “My name is Rarity.”

“So, Miss Rarity...”

“Please, just call me Rarity.”

Chocolate Moos continued: “Very well, Rarity. I take it you are very experienced in the field of milking, if Applejack trusts you with such a task.”

“Actually, I've never tried doing it before. But I've gotten very specific instructions from Applejack, guaranteeing that nothing can go wrong,” Rarity lied.

The unicorn was confident she could handle the task. After all, Chocolate Moos seemed to be a very kind cow she would surely get along with. Both her elegant choice of words and her fabulous taste in fashion, as evidenced by the choice of her sun hat, made a deep impression on Rarity.

“Alright, I'll leave my utter in your capable hooves,” Chocolate Moos announced.

Rarity got the bucket and the milking stool ready and slowly started squeezing the teats.

“Oh my, this feels rather strange,” Chocolate Moos exclaimed.

“Are you alright? Did I somehow hurt you?” Rarity asked with a hint of worry.

“No, I'm not hurt. There's just this funny feeling, when you milk me. It's probably just an itch, it'll be over in a minute.”

Chocolate Moos grew visibly more anxious, as Rarity continued the milking process. She tried to be more careful, but to no avail: the cow grew more and more uneasy.

“No. No, this is definitely wrong,” Chocolate Moos stated.

Rarity tried to reassure: “Now, if you calm down I'm sure we could figure something out. Just don't...”

It didn't help, Chocolate Moos had already started panicking. The milk within the bucket had long been spilled. Chocolate Moos was now running madly around the Apples's barn, occasionally kicking the air, while Rarity held on to the cow for her dear life.

Just as suddenly as she had started, Chocolate Moos stopped dead in her tracks, sending Rarity flying straight into the pigpen, or more specifically the mud wallow within.

Rarity emerged, completely covered in dirt, as she felt the last bit of her patience snap.

“You wanna do this the hard way? Fine, we'll do this the hard way. It is on!” Rarity declared.

Rarity immediately started to work her unicorn magic on three things: the milk bucket, the teats, and the entirety of Chocolate Moos' rear end. The cow found herself heaved into the air, with a bucket under her utter and Rarity's magic not-so-gently pulling on her teats.

Chocolate Moos struggled, desperately trying to free herself, but her efforts were in vain. Slowly she calmed down and started to enjoy this unconventional method of milking.

“This is much better. We should have done this from the very start,” Chocolate Moos informed.

Rarity was too focused to respond. Within minutes, Chocolate Moos was milked dry and Rarity released everything from her magic grip, save the bucket which was placed into a corner of the barn.

After thanking Rarity and asking if they could do this again, Chocolate Moos bid her farewell. Rarity cleaned herself with the help of Applejack's garden hose. Once she didn't feel any more mud on her coat, she felt safe to examine her reflection in a puddle of water.

“My mane is completely ruined,” Rarity said to herself. “And I spent the entire morning on it!”

*  *  *

Finally back at home, Rarity saw all her friends still preparing the celebration. She casually informed Applejack of the successful completion of labor, before disappearing into her upstairs bathroom, hoping nopony had seen her.

Slowly, Rarity got her appearance into a form she deemed presentable. She finished the final touches on her eye shadow, and wanted to get back to reading her fashion magazine.

She was already guessing what the newest fashion trend would be. It would probably be about the little accessories that made a pony. Bow ties would  definitely be coming back. Bow ties were cool.

Suddenly, the most gentle knock sounded from her door.

“Who is it?” Rarity asked, as if she didn't know already.

“Um, can I come in?” Fluttershy's voice rang from behind the door.

“Of course, darling, please do,” Rarity called as she got out of her bathroom and into her bedroom. “Do you need some help with the party?”

When Fluttershy entered the room, she avoided eye contact and hid behind her pink mane, before pleading: “Actually I wanted to ask you a favor. Applejack told me, how you helped her out, when she didn't have time because of the party, and I wondered if you could do the same for me.”

“That is, if you don't mind,” Fluttershy quickly added.

“I'll gladly help you,” Rarity offered. “What do you want me to do?”

Fluttershy now looked up into Rarity's eyes. “It's simple really. All I need you to do, is feed the birds around my cottage. This morning I forgot.”

“No problem at all, my dear. Consider it done,” said Rarity.

“Um, there is one more thing,” Fluttershy informed. “I currently got this raven under my care. His name is Carc, and he's a really nice raven, but from time to time he can be just a teensy bit impatient. You should watch out for his mood swings.”

“Don't worry. I'm certain I can handle one little bird,” Rarity reassured.

*  *  *

Even if one didn't believe in superstition, and Rarity did not, no pony could ignore the obvious: The dozens, maybe even hundreds of dark birds that circled Fluttershy's cottage were a bad omen. Rarity chose her steps towards the front door carefully, as if she was performing a high-wire act. Fortunately, the birds didn't seem to take any notice of Rarity, they were still drawing their precise, intimidating circles.

She had finally reached the door and quickly went inside. Immediately she locked it and all windows within the cottage. Now Rarity had time to think.

What had her so anxious? There were just a couple of hungry animals with a brain the size of a walnut outside, practicing strange behavior because of their desire for food. They might have sharp beaks and claws, but so did Opal. Yes, they certainly weren't any more dangerous than her feline pet. They were only a little hungry and who could blame them?

Then again, there was Hitchcolt's famous movie. Birds could be malicious, foul creatures, gathered in immense swarms, stopping at nothing, not even self-harm, to mercilessly hunt down their prey. They were predators to be feared.

“But that's just a movie,” Rarity calmed herself.

She went to the kitchen and found the birdseed where Fluttershy had left it. Upon returning to the living room that held the entrance to Fluttershy's cottage, she found that a large raven was sitting on the door frame, that must have slipped in when she had entered. Rarity instantly froze.

Slowly she approached the creature. “Hello, you must be Carc. Fluttershy has told me about you. My name is Rarity.”

The raven cawed three times.

Rarity shrank to half her size, clinging to the bag of bird feed. “For Celestia's sake, get a hold of yourself. For a proper lady this is no way to behave,” Rarity thought.

Again, she walked closer to the raven. “I guess you must be hungry. Fluttershy is really sorry she forgot to feed you this morning.”

Rarity was interrupted by a knock on the window. Over there sat a single crow that stared at her through the glass. She didn't have time to think about it, as her attention was shifted back to the raven.

The raven cawed three more times.

“All right, this really is creepy,” Rarity analyzed the situation. “But there still is nothing to worry about. There is no threat. There is just a single bird in the room and one by the window, patiently waiting for their food. Everything else is just my imagination.”

Her train of thought was interrupted by another knock on the window. The crow had now been joined by two blackbirds, all of which eyed Rarity's every move.

The raven cawed three more times.

“Stop it!” Rarity shouted at it. “Stop scaring me, that is plain rude!”

For a second she had the impulse to throw something at the creature, but she had calmed down before she found anything handy.

Rarity took a deep breath. “Look at me, I'm talking to a bird,” she reminded herself. “It takes more than that to send me over the edge.”

She looked back at the window. There were more than a dozen birds of nearly as many species, not only sitting on the windowsill but half of them hovering in the air. The one thing all of them had in common was their stare right into Rarity's eyes.

The raven cawed three more times.

Rarity was now petrified, unable to move a single muscle. All she wanted now was to get out of this haunted house as fast as possible.

“Get a hold of yourself!” her inner voice shouted at her. “You are Rarity! You are the rising star in Equestria's fashion industry. You are the Element of Generosity. You have defeated Nightmare Moon and Discord. You are not going to be afraid of a bunch of measly birds.”

And now she was going to feed them. Rarity swallowed the remainder of fear she had and ripped open the bag of birdseed.

Right on cue, all the cottage's windows opened and a swarm of birds flew in from all sides, with the raven leading the attack on Rarity, or more precisely the bag in her hooves.

Without a second thought Rarity dropped the bag and ran for the door, not stopping until she found herself safe within her own four walls.

*  *  *

Rarity found her own house in almost as much commotion as the cottage she had just left. There was certainly no time to browse through her fashion magazine now. How should she keep up with her competition like this?

“You can't leave now! We need you for the decorations in higher up places. We'll never make it in time without you,” Pinkie pleaded.

“Sorry, Pinks, but this is important,” Rainbow Dash replied. “I told you I was on call today, and since Cloud Kicker got sick it's up to me.”

“Perhaps I can be of assistance;” Rarity chimed in. Since she helped two of her friends already, it would only be fair to aid Rainbow Dash as well.

“Assistance? How?” Rainbow Dash asked.

“Well, whatever it is you have to do, I could go in your place.”

Rainbow Dash thought about it. “Yeah, I guess it could work. It's not a job a pegasus has to do.”

“Okay,” Rarity said. “What is it I have to do?”

Rainbow Dash explained: “Well, initially Cloud Kicker was going to supervise the refilling of the highland reservoir. But she got sick, which leaves me in charge. And by me I now mean you. Don't worry, all you gotta do is stand there and watch while somepony else does the work.”

“Simple enough,” Rarity decided. “Who's the pegasus doing the work?”

“Well... it's...” Rainbow Dash mumbled. She was blushing slightly and that was more than enough to tell Rarity who she was talking about.

“No, you can't mean...” Rarity cried. “Please, tell me it's somepony different!”

Rainbow Dash didn't respond.

“No I can't,” Rarity worried. “It's going to be the death of me. There is always major mayhem when that pony is involved.”

“Come on, give Thunderlane a break. It's not his fault. He's just unlucky. Give him another chance,” Rainbow Dash defended.

“Fine! I'll try. But if there's any sign of trouble I'm coming back to get you and let you handle it,” Rarity declared.

“Great! We have a deal.”

*  *  *

“I don't need your supervision! I'm fine, just leave me alone!” Thunderlane yelled towards the ground.

“Look,” Rarity responded, “I don't like this anymore than you do, but I promised Rainbow Dash to look after you, so that is exactly what I'm going to do.”

Rarity still couldn't believe her friend had talked her into this. What at first was just a generous proposal to help out Rainbow Dash had turned out to be a dreadful chore she regretted to ever accepting. It wouldn't bother her so much if this hadn't happened again and again. Rainbow Dash always managed to sweet-talk Rarity into such deeds –although it wasn't as much sweetness as it was confidence that Rarity's help would be self-evident. Once again, the Element of Generosity fretted over being too generous.

“Now, are you sure that this is just a raincloud and not a thundercloud?” Rarity had spotted a particularly dark spot among the cloud cover.

“I know what I'm doing, thank you very much,” said Thunderlane angrily. “May I remind you which one of us is the pegasus here?”

“All right, sorry I said anything.” Rarity restrained herself from reminding Thunderlane of the vast number of accidents he was involved in. She couldn't find a ladylike word for “four-legged walking disaster area” anyway.

“I'm sick of it! Everypony is still accusing me of infecting everpony with the feather flu,” Thunderlane started. “As if it was my fault we almost didn't have enough wingpower. As if I wanted to stay in a hospital for two weeks.”

Thunderlane soon continued his rant: “You know, whenever Derpy messes anything up everypony just takes pity. 'Oh that poor little mailmare.' 'It must be difficult to fly with that eye condition.' 'If it's too much for you, you have to tell us Derpy.' But no, not with me! With me it's always: 'Why weren't you more careful, Thunderlane.' 'You're hopeless, Thunderlane.' 'How did you manage to set fire to the town park again, Thunderlane?' That's just applying double standards!” He  started punching the clouds during his speech.

Rarity couldn't help herself feel sorry for the poor stallion. It was true: everypony was very quick to blame Thunderlane for his mistakes, never giving him a break, even when he was just unlucky, like when he caught the feather flu. And still, he never gave up. Here he was again, pushing the clouds together to prove everypony wrong, to prove he was just as capable as everypony else. There was a spark of hope within Rarity, that this time everything would go well.

In fact, there wasn't just a spark of hope. There were sparks everywhere, eerily dancing among the clouds. How could Rarity missed this before? With every punch more and more sparks flied through the cloud cover, caused by the furiously punching hooves.

“Wait! Stop!” Rarity shouted.

“Huh?” Thunderlane snapped out of his trance.

“Your punches! All this time the static electricity from your punches slowly charged the clouds!”

Thunderlane tried to piece together what this actually meant. Rarity didn't have time to wait that long.

“Unless we do something about it, the clouds will discharge, and that would mean we have a fully grown thunderstorm on our hooves.” Rarity was impressed by how much of Twilight's boring lectures on meteorology she remembered.

It was too late. The first lightning bolt struck way too close for comfort to Rarity. She could feel  a little bit of the electricity crawl up her hooves.

Thunderlane quickly backed away from the cloud and joined Rarity on the ground.

“I'm sorry. I should have listened to you,” he apologized.

“Yes, you should have,” Rarity stated, “but right now we have to focus on stopping this thing.”

The cloud had now gotten completely out of control as it steadily drifted towards Ponyville, continuously sending out lightning bolts. It might prove lethal to a number of ponies if it wasn't stopped.

Twilight Sparkle had warned the residents of Ponyville about the dangers of an out of control thunderstorm ages ago. She said all that was needed to minimize the danger was a small rod of metal, a lightning rod, attached to the top of the houses, leading the charge away from all the ponies inside and outside.

“That's it!” Rarity exclaimed, as she dashed towards the city.

“What is?” Thunderlane asked in confusion as he followed her.

“Twilight has told me about this time and time again: lightning rods. If we could find some metal rods and stick them into the ground, we might just get control over those clouds again. I probably need you to kick down a door for its metal framing,” Rarity explained

“Kick in a door? But that will only get me into even more trouble,” Thunderlane worried.

“Well, you can't possibly expect a lady like me to do a ruffian's job. Now do it.”

They had reached the first house on the edge of Ponyville. With a little hesitation, Thunderlane kicked down its door and isolated the metal framing, while Rarity desperately tried to calm down the furious mare standing in the doorway. Rarity emptying the contents of her purse proved at least a little successful.

The two ponies picked up the metal and rushed back towards the highland reservoir. They met the thunderclouds halfway.

“Now just ram them into the ground and pray that it works,” Rarity commanded.

They ended up with four improvised lightning rods, two merely being thirty centimeters above the ground, the other two reaching a height of more than a meter.

It was a success. The thunderclouds were actually bound to the lightning rods, which absorbed nearly the entirety of the lightning. The clouds completely discharged before the lightning rods melted away.

“We did it!” Thunderlane cheered, hugging Rarity who returned the embrace.

Now that he had time to think, Thunderlane realized that this was another failure in his far from perfect record.

“Oh Rarity, please promise me not to tell anypony about this.”

He wanted to add more to his plea but Rarity stopped him. “I promise I won't tell. I think you deserve a break after all this misfortune. Do you think, you can handle the rest on your own?”

“Yes, I can. I mean, lightning never strikes the same place twice, right?”

Rarity just shuddered at his poor choice of words. “I'll be on my way then. I guess I deserve a break too.”

*  *  *

Rarity met Pinkie Pie on her doorstep, who was just about to leave.

“Rarity, I'm glad I ran into you. I wanted to ask you something,” Pinkie said.

“Let me guess: You need me to do you a favor of some sorts?” Rarity was getting annoyed by the excruciating repetition this day provided.

“No, silly,” Pinkie giggled. “I just wanted to tell you that I'm going to Sugarcube Corner to get your super special birthday surprise and that you shouldn't look when I get it inside.”

“So, no favors? No requests? No long forgotten deeds?” Rarity asked, believing this too good to be true.

Pinkie pondered over this question for a little while before simply replying: “No!”

“Now I can finally browse through my new fashion magazine,” Rarity said to no one in particular, her face filled with glee.

“Actually,” Twilight said, while her head peeked through the door, “there is some small request I have for you. I actually thought about dropping it, but now I hoped you could do it for me, if it's not too much trouble.”

Of course Rarity could have refused, but at this point she had done a favor for almost all her other friends. Her friends that were inside preparing a great birthday party for her sake.

“Alright, I will help you out,” Rarity declared.

“You will? That's fantastic!” Twilight exclaimed. “Let me brief you on what I've been doing: I've been accurately calculating and measuring the trajectory of the Kepler planet, in order to establish a heliocentric model of our solar system, as opposed to the geocentric that is widely in use. I think Princess Luna and Princess Celestia aren't actually moving the moon and sun, but are subconsciously moving our planet instead. If my theory is correct this could cause a paradigm shift that...”

Rarity almost violently shushed Twilight with her hoof. “Please, Twilight, cut the technical jargon and get to the point.” Rarity was way too tired to listen to anything complicated her friend had to say.

Twilight blushed a little. “Basically, you just have to find Kepler by the estimates I have written down in my note book, and then at precisely three o'clock, write down the precise position in my note book. The position on the telescope that is!”

“Consider it done!”

“Great! I guess I'll go back inside then,” Twilight said as she turned around.

Rarity was about to leave when another creature peeked through the door.

“Um, Rarity, could I ask you a favor as well?” Spike asked shyly.

“Of course, anything for my little Spikey-Wikey,” Rarity said with a smile. There was just something about that cute little dragon that made it impossible for her to refuse a desire from him.

Spike explained: “By accident I found this book from the library's section on foreign books and looked at it, but if Twilight finds it she might get angry I put it out of its place. So, could you put it back for me?”

“No problem at all,” Rarity replied. Since she was going to the library anyway, she might as well do two of her friends a favor.

*  *  *

Looking at Kepler, and its currently non-visible moon Brahe, through a telescope might have been boring, but at least it was simple. Twilight's estimates were excellent and Rarity barely had to change the telescope's position. After writing down the numbers, she attended to Spike's problem.

The tome was easy enough to find, as it was hidden in plain sight among others on the table, and its title and appearance were very unique. The title read “Schwarze Magie für Anfänger”. There was a note standing out from the side of the book.

“Now, I really shouldn't take a look at Spike's personal comments,” Rarity reminded herself. “I must respect his privacy.”

Who was she kidding? Not even two seconds later she had opened up the book and scanned Spike's note:

Schwarze Magie für Anfänger = Blackforestcake for everypony?

“Well that is kind of a let down,” Rarity determined. “Well, taking one more look at the book couldn't hurt. Maybe I'll find something useful.”

She randomly started to read aloud one of the sentences in the book: “Hört mich an, ihr Dämonen aus den Schwefelfeuern der ewigen Verdammnis! Labt euch an meiner Gier nach Macht und Reichtum und öffnet mir den Weg zu Welten jenseits meiner Vorstellungskraft!”

One could only imagine Rarity's surprise when she turned around and found herself staring at a portal to another dimension. The surprise was far greater than turning around and finding an icky spider next to your head or even the surprise when you find out that your crush likes you back; it was huge. Maybe Rarity would have been less surprised if she actually new what the words meant that she had said. Maybe she would have been less surprised if she correctly translated the book's title as “Black magic for beginners”. But as it was, the surprise was shocking.

Rarity examined the portal more closely: It was around three meters in diameter, seemed to be confined by magical energy, and was obscured because an eye the size of Rarity's head was looking at her. Not knowing what to make of this, she armed herself with a chair.

On the other end of the portal, the eye, or rather the creature called a Nommal attached to it, was equally surprised to find a portal to another dimension in the wall of his cave -technically he only rented the cave, but a Nommal can dream. He examined the content of the portal and found two things that stood out: one was white and purple and bound to the ground, the other was brown and levitating. As one was standing perfectly still while the other was moving around frantically, the Nommal determined the brown levitating thing must be this dimension's primary lifeform.

Rarity had desperately tried to set up a defensive perimeter with the chair she levitated, standing perfectly still while she carefully monitored the movements of the beast from the other side. Would she have to fight it? Would she stand a chance? She only gaped in horror, when that thing on the other side of the portal reached out with its arm and crushed the chair in an instant.

As panic clouded her judgment, Rarity needed a good idea how to stop that thing. The easiest solution would have been to simply close the portal, leaving it trapped on the other side. Rarity's only chance at that was the book that created this portal in the first place.

Meanwhile the Nommal's attempts to give the brown lifeform the traditional greeting of his people had resulted in having it break into a dozen pieces. He wasn't sure what had happened, but he would restrain from touching anything, at least for a while.

Not understanding the language it was written in is a huge problem when studying a book. At least the arm had reemerged into the portal, which gave Rarity some much more comfortable space to think: If one were to write a tome filled to the brim with dangerous and dark spells that may cause mayhem or the annihilation of the entire pony race, where would one put a failproof spell that might be able to reverse this mess? Probably in the beginning in big bold letters.

Sure enough, on the very first page Rarity found a spell in big bold red letters that might do the trick.

“Here goes nothing,” she thought before she read aloud, “Das war nur ein Scherz! Lasst mich doch bitte in Ruhe!”

The portal shrank down to a single point in a fraction of a second before it was gone completely, leaving behind an exhausted but relieved Rarity.

The Nommal was quizzical when the portal disappeared just as quickly as it had appeared. When he tried to tell everyone, his friends, his neighbors, his dentist, nobody believed him.

*  *  *

Rarity was completely tuckered out when she got back home, she couldn't even think about taking a look at her fashion magazine. All she wanted to do was lie down and get this exhausting day behind her.

She collapsed onto her divan and closed her eyes, slowly drifting off to sleep...

...before she was violently wakened.

“All right everypony, get ready! The party is about to start!” Pinkie shouted into the room.

That's right! Rarity remembered that it was her birthday. She got back on her hooves and ready to get this party started, despite not being in the mood for it at all.

“Rarity, why don't you make yourself useful and get forks and plates for everypony, while I cut the cake,” Pinkie suggested.

Rarity's mind processed these words very carefully. “'Make yourself useful', that's what she said,” Rarity's inner voice repeated.

All her friends looked at Rarity with concern, when they noticed her eye was rapidly twitching.

“Rarity? Are you all right?” Pinkie asked.

Something inside her just snapped, and all the anger and frustration she had experienced that day got ready to burst out.

“I have had enough!” Rarity yelled. “You have been mocking me all day, from the very start. All of you, with all your meaningless little favors you asked of me, because you knew they would turn into life-threatening catastrophes!”

“Whatever are ya talkin' 'bout, Sugarcube?” Applejack asked.

“Oh, you know very well what I'm talking about!” Rarity shouted, addressing Applejack in particular. “You asked me to simply milk a cow and what did I end up with? I got kicked into mud, was assaulted by birds, almost got electrocuted, had to battle a monster from another dimension, and I had to eat Sweetie Belle's dreadful pancakes!”

Especially the unicorn filly shrank under the sudden accusation.

“But you said you were glad to help,” Fluttershy timidly stated.

“Don't you dare tell me what I said, because I know what I said! I just so happened to be there!” Rarity was now completely furious.

Like most unicorns when they experience great emotional turmoil, Rarity, in her anger, was losing complete control of her magic abilities, resulting in a tremendous amount of magic energy gathering around her horn, much more than she could ever consciously produce.

“Rarity, please just calm down. I'm sure we could talk this out, if you would explain to us what happened,” Twilight worriedly chimed in.

“I'm done calming down! I'm done explaining!” Rarity screamed, as she walked upstairs to her room. The magic energy was now fuming. “In fact, I'm done with all of you. I wish to never see you again! I wish I never met you in the first place!”

Rarity could hear somepony speak, as she slammed the door to her room shut, releasing all the built-up magical energy with a loud burst.

*  *  *

When Rarity woke up, she felt terrible. A look at her alarm clock made her realize she had slept for sixteen hours straight. She would need a good breakfast and a long shower to feel halfway decent again.

In the shower, she had time to think about what she had said to her friends the previous day. Rarity might have been angry, but that was still no viable reason to behave the way she did. She would need to go and apologize to her friends one by one, the obvious first choice being Sweetie Belle.

“Sweetie Belle? Where are you?” she called. “I wanted to apologize for my indecent behavior. Please forgive me. Sweetie Belle? Please, just come on out and talk to me.”

Rarity searched her entire house twice, but there was no trace of Sweetie Belle. In fact even everything she left in her room was gone as well. There was only one logical explanation for this: She must have been so mad at Rarity that she packed all her stuff and slept over at one of her friends' houses, because she couldn't bear to spent the night in the same place as her sister.

Staring at the emptiness of Sweetie Belle's room was depressing. It missed all the happy memories Rarity and her sister had shared. There was no copy of “The Very Hungry Caterpillar” or “Starswirl the Bearded and the undefeated dragon warrior”. At different ages, Sweetie Belle had particularly loved it when Rarity read these stories to her. There was no “Mrs. Whiskers”, the cat plushie Rarity had personally sewn for her sister, that she had eventually outgrown, but that still kept watch beside her bed. Worst of all, none of Sweetie Belle's hoof drawn pictures decorated the walls.

Rarity was ashamed of herself. She thought she had learned her lesson. She thought she was a good sister now, but she had failed.

On the other hoof, moving out was certainly a massive overreaction.

“Maybe I haven't been such a bad big sister. At least I showed Sweetie Belle how to be a proper drama queen.” Rarity had to giggle at that thought.

Sweetie Belle couldn't have gone far. If she just visited her friends and apologized, Rarity would find her sister eventually.

*  *  *

The first stop Rarity made was Fluttershy's cottage, since she considered the pegasus her closest friend, and since Fluttershy was particularly sensitive to any fighting going on.

The cottage looked like it had been abandoned for years. Rarity knocked and called out for Flutteshy, but there was no answer. She pressed her ear against the door, but there wasn't any sign of life behind that door. Apparently not even Fluttershy's animals made any sound. The strangest thing was that Rarity couldn't even see a single one of the many critters living around her friend's house

Rarity reckoned that the birds must have caused more damage than she would have expected, so that Fluttershy had decided to spent the night someplace else.

For a brief moment the feeling of shame and guilt returned. She should have told Fluttershy about the birds' assault and should have helped her clean up. But it was no use to dwell on mistakes of the past. Right now, all she could do was find her friends and apologize.

Her next stop was Sweet Apple Acres. There was an unfamiliar red earth pony standing in front of the barn, wearing a business suit and dark sunglasses, accompanied by a gelled manestyle. Before Rarity could do anything, the suave new stranger approached her.

“You do realize your trespassing on private property, mam,” he said.

“Trespassing? Moi?” Rarity asked sulkily. “This is ridiculous. I know the owner and I never heard of anypony being...”

“You claim to know me?” the stranger interrupted.

As the businesspony slid off his sunglasses Rarity realized just who the suave new stranger was. He looked like a completely different pony in his business attire and he didn't show any trace of his trademark accent.

“Big Macintosh? Is that you?” Rarity asked in disbelief. She reached out to touch his suit to see if her mind wasn't playing tricks on her, and to check the quality of the fabric -she wouldn't allow any of her friends to walk around in low quality fabrics.

Big Macintosh pushed her away. “Look here, Lady, I don't know how you know my name, but I demand you leave my property, right now.”

Rarity didn't know what to make of this situation. “Is this some kind of joke you're playing on me?”

Big Macintosh was getting angry. “I have no idea what you're talking about, but in ten minutes I'll finally get to sell this worthless piece of land to Filthy Rich and I won't let you interfere.”

“Sell Sweet Apple Acres?” Rarity couldn't believe her ears. “Your sister would never agree to this?”

“What sister? You must have me confused with somepony else. Now, I'm asking you to leave one last time.” Big Macintosh evidently grew tired of this conversation.

Rarity would have found this conversation rather ridiculous, if the stakes weren't as high and Big Macintosh wouldn't have had such a serious look on his face.

Suddenly it dawned on Rarity what had happened. What did she wish for when she yelled at her friends the day before? She wished that she had never met them. Could it be that somehow that wish came true? She immediately ran to Sugarcube Corner to verify her theory.

*  *  *

“Hello there, Rarity. How is my best customer?” Mr. Cake greeted upon arrival.

“At least he remembers me,” Rarity thought. “Although, what does he mean by 'best customer'?”

Rarity greeted back and began: “I wanted to ask you about Pinkie Pie's whereabouts.”

“You want pie? We never sold any pies in this place. You should know that,” Mr. Cake replied.

“No, I'm not talking about Pie I'm talking about Pinkie...” Rarity cut herself short. It was evident that Pinkie was gone, or rather had never been here in the first place.

But she couldn't have gone without a trace. There had to be some clue to what exactly happened. There just had to be. She jumped past Mr. Cake and into the kitchen.

Mr. Cake was not pleased. “Now, Rarity, just because you fill your gullet in here whenever one of your fashion experiments fails, you are not allowed in the kitchen.”

“I what!?” Rarity resisted the urge to cuff him for such a devious insult. Looking for clues was more important right now.

“What's she doing in there? She isn't allowed in there,” Mrs. Cake snapped. She had just entered the shop from upstairs.

“You don't have to tell me, you old hag!” Mr. Cake barked back.

“Then do something about it, you worthless buffoon!”

The fight made Rarity prick up her ears.

“I can't wait until the divorce is finally settled and you are out of here!” Mr. Cake yelled at his soon-to-be ex-wife.

“I wish I had listened to my dad and never married you in the first place, you deadbeat!” Mrs. Cake replied.

“Deadbeat!? Why I oughta...”

“Stop it!” Rarity screamed at the top of her lungs. She couldn't take it anymore. “You have always been Ponyville's showpiece couple. You can't be fighting. You can't get a divorce. You can't just leave Pumpkin and Pound behind.”

“Pumpkin and Pound? Who are you talking about?” Mrs. Cake asked.

“Pumpkin Cake and Pound Cake, as in your children Pumpkin Cake and Pound Cake.”

“Children!? With him/her!?” both Cakes shouted in unison.

“That's crazy talk!” Mr. Caked added. “You're crazy Rarity, just like this old hag over there!”

Rarity just had to get out. She never believed to actually find clues in the first place, since she didn't have any idea what she was looking for. But listening to the Cakes's bitter insults any longer would have broken her heart.

Outside she saw two squirrels fighting vigorously over a couple of acorns. While they were busy, a mouse grabbed one of them and was subsequently attacked by a weasel that crossed its way.

Rarity couldn't allow herself to cry. Not now, not until she would find a way to fix things. There had to be something she could do. There had to be somepony that could help her.

Twilight Sparkle. It was so obvious. Twilight was the answer to the problem. Twilight would set everything right.

But not this time. This time, Twilight was part of the problem, and Rarity was all on her own. What if she couldn't bring them back? What if she would have to get used to living in this alternate version of Ponyville? A place where the Cakes were getting a divorce, a place where Sweet Apple Acres was sold, a place where hungry critters roamed free because nopony cared for them, and a place where the sky was... Actually, the sky looked remarkable. Figures that the weather squad would do just as well without Rainbow Dash, a pony who was slacking off half the time anyway.

Even if Rainbow Dash didn't make much of a difference in Ponyville's weather team, she made a huge difference in Rarity's heart, like all her friends.

No, by no means could Rarity live in this place. Even if it would take a lifetime of studying, she would try everything to bring them back. She already had an idea: With Twilight Sparkle gone, Rarity would just appeal to the next higher authority. She would board the next train to Canterlot.

*  *  *

“What do you mean 'I can't see her'?” Rarity yelled at the two guards blocking her path.

“Nopony is allowed to see the Princess, unless that pony's royalty or somethin',” the first guard replied. “Her orders were, and these are her words, not mine: 'Don't let any peasants disturb my valuable time.'”

“But I need her help. Desperately! You have to let me through!” Rarity pleaded.

“No can do,” the same guard answered. “I ain't gonna risk my job for nopony I don't know. Now scram!”

Rarity tried again. “You don't understand. When I woke up this morning, all my best friends were plain gone, vanished without a trace, I don't even know how any of that happened. And now Princess Celestia is my only hope of getting them back.”

“I don't care if the Princess had cancer and your tears could cure it,” the other guard chimed in. “Look, Miss, no matter how crazy you act, you ain't gettin' through. Capiche?”

Rarity wanted to scream in frustration. She had to get past these guards. Fighting them was not an option: she was outnumbered, unarmed, and generally untrained. Maybe exposing her good connections could solve this little problem.

“All right. I didn't want to have to play this card, but I am Rarity, the Element of Generosity. Now, will you please let me through?”

The guards simply looked confused. “You are who? Element of what now?” the first replied.

“I am Rarity, the Element of Generosity,” Rarity repeated. “I have defeated Nightmare Moon and Discord and thereby became a close friend of the Princess.”

The guards simply laughed at her, the last reaction Rarity would have expected from them.

“I actually heard about this Nightmare Moon,” the second guard said. “It was a bedtime story our mom told us when we was foals.”

They continued to laugh even harder. Rarity felt beaten in every sense of the word. There was nothing left for her here. She turned around and walked away, hanging her head in depression.

“Hey, come back here. We hadn't had this much fun on duty in weeks. Why don't you tell us about how you fought an army of dragons when you tried to rescue the griffon queen,” the first guard mocked.

Rarity hadn't heard him on her way out. She couldn't hear anything. In complete apathy she booked a room in a nearby hotel and decided to rest. The events of the day started to sink in. Her room looked so very empty to her. She had to get some fresh air.

From her balcony, Rarity gazed at the stars, which seemed to dance around, enacting vivid scenes in the seemingly endless night sky. Among them she tried to identify some of the constellations she knew.

There was Pegasus, which seemed to dash through the night sky, ever so fierce and bold. Still, it never moved too far from Andromeda, always loyal, vowing to protect the mare against any danger, always ready for a fight.

There were the three wise mares, wandering around to catalogue the entire sky. They were ever so ready to offer advice or to fix any problem for the other constellation. Their curiosity was unmatched.

There was Equuleus, the earth pony, strong, honest, and resilient. She eagerly collected all the small stars that were too dim to be clearly visible and nourished them until they shone as brightly as the rest.

There was Lepus, the hare, peeking shyly into the night sky from the very edge. It never came to the center, it always remained in the background, but it always stood by the others' sides with its kindness and patience; that's what Rarity loved about it.

There was Chamaeleon, an impossible constellation that shouldn't be visible from Canterlot. That alone brought a smile to Rarity's face, and apparently also to the faces of the other constellations. Chamaeleon was just a joy to be around.

There was draco, the dragon, possibly Rarity's favorite. Myths about it depicted it as a vile destructive creature, but that wasn't what Rarity saw. Draco was kind, polite, and dependable. He was a faithful assistant to the other constellations and their chores.

Then there was Gemini. Rarity couldn't bear to look at it for too long. There she saw Sweetie Belle and herself joyfully playing around and rejoicing. Finally, the two sisters lied down to rest, just cuddling each other.

Rarity turned around and went back inside. She missed her friend, she missed all of her friends so very dearly. Rarity sobbed; she was on the verge of tears. She tried to banish every negative thought from her mind and only focus on the positive, gathering hope for the following day.

“Tomorrow will be different,” she told herself. “Tomorrow will be another chance to get through to the princess. Another chance to make everything right again, to get my friends back.”

Rarity knew she was deceiving herself. Even if she could get to Princess Celestia, the princess ostensibly didn't know her. Clestia would probably neither understand nor care for her agony. With every last glimmer of hope eradicated from her mind, false hope was all she could cling to.

Rarity meandered back to her shelter's balcony. For centuries, for millennia, even before the princesses' reign ponies had turned towards the celestial bodies to unravel the enigmas and quarrels existence provided them with. This night, Rarity blended with this particular cult of scholars in her quest for resolution.

She called out to the stars: “Oh Celestia, I've learned my lesson! I will never again take my friends for granted! Won't somepony have mercy upon my humble soul? I'm sorry, so very sorry! Please forgive me! Please forgive me, for I did not know what I was doing!”

When desperation met with perplexity, there was but a single reasonable proposal available to the forsaken equine. With great zeal, she took the only maneuver plausible to her nous:

She cried.

She cried to her heart's content. She cried for the sins that she couldn't amend. She cried until her tears drenched the earth. She cried for her friends and all they were worth. She cried until her eyes turned red and her throat turned sore. She cried throughout the entire night, and then some more.

*  *  *

When Rarity woke up, she felt terrible. A look at her alarm clock made her realize it was half an hour 'til midnight. Even if it was late, she felt like taking a shower to feel halfway decent again, so she walked into her bathroom.

It dawned to her that something was off. She wasn't supposed to be able to go into her bathroom, since she had spent the night in a hotel in Canterlot.

Rarity tried to fathom what was happening. It must have all been a dream. Of course it was, friends couldn't just disappear like that. Even if it had been a lively one it was still a dream. Her friends were all out there and she owed them an apology.

She ran to the window, opened it and put out her head into the cold night air for her blood to dance to.

“What's today?” cried Rarity, calling downward to a colt walking the street below.

“Eh?” returned the colt, with all his might of wonder.

“What's today, my little pony?” said Rarity.

“Today?” replied the colt. “Why, it's Tuesday.”

“It's still my birthday!” said Rarity to herself. “I haven't missed it.”

Rarity closed her window and stepped away. Now was the time to set everything right.

She turned around to reopen the window a second later, calling out to the colt: “What in Equestria are you doing outside this late? Quick, go home already!”

“His family must be worried sick about him!” Rarity said to herself, before closing the window indefinitely.

She already had the whole thing planned out: First she would go to Applejack, since she always had to get up early. Then came Fluttershy, as she was the most sensitive one. Next came Pinkie and finally Twilight, who would probably have one of her late-night study sessions anyway. Rainbow Dash and Sweetie Belle would have to wait until tomorrow, since she couldn't reach Rainbow Dash's cloud home, and Sweetie Belle was a filly who needed her sleep.

Rarity opened the door and went downstairs. Immediately half a dozen ponies turned their heads to her.

“Happy Birthday, Rarity!” they all shouted in unison.

“What now?” Everything was happening way too fast for Rarity to follow.

“So, are you finally feeling better?” Twilight asked.

“Yes, I do.” Rarity remembered what she wanted to say. “And I want to apologize for my terrible temper and the things I said.”

“It's alright, sugarcube,” Applejack replied. “Sometimes we all say things we didn't mean the way they came out.”

“But I don't understand why you're still all here after what I said,” Rarity inquired.

“We couldn't just leave you, silly,” Pinkie chirped, “it's still your birthday.”

“Real friends stick around, no matter what,” Rainbow Dash added.

“Well, technically we did leave you. After your... outburst we went to see what got you so upset,” Fluttershy explained. “Angel told me what happened. I'm so sorry. If I fed the birds earlier, they wouldn't have been so nervous and attacked you.”

“And I talked ta Chocolate Moos. Maybe I shoulda milked her mahself instead of milkin' you,” Applejack giggled.

“It took me a while, but Thunderlane finally spilled the beans,” Rainbow Dash proudly announced. “I swear if he messes up one more time...”

“Give him a break,” Rarity came to his defense. “He proved quite capable once we tried to get this mess sorted out. Please, Rainbow, let it drop.”

“Alright, for your sake,” Rainbow Dash replied. Whatever she was really thinking, she didn't show it.

Twilight cleared her throat to say something. “There is still on thing I want to know: You said something about battling a monster from another dimension. What exactly...”

“Enough pointless chit-chat!” Pinkie Pie interrupted. “You still haven't opened your presents. And there's also my special birthday surprise.”

Pinkie pulled out a hat and a dress that perfectly matched one of Rarity's latest, more successful designs.

“Do you like it? I call it 'edible fashion',” Pinkie explained. Then she took a big bite out of it. “And it's de-licious. What do you think?”

“That must be one of Pinkie's weirdest ideas,” Rarity thought to herself. “Either the clothes will be too ugly to wear or too beautiful to eat.”

“I love it!” Rarity simply answered while giving Pinkie a hug.

The next couple of minutes were spent with talking and laughter, until everypony filled their glasses with punch and demanded a toast from Rarity.

“Alright, alright,” Rarity agreed as she raised her glass above her head.

“To me, the most fabulous birthday girl in all of Equestria,” she jokingly remarked. “ And to my even more fabulous friends. You are the best things that ever happened to me and I can't imagine life without any of you.”

All her friends applauded. Applejack approached the birthday girl with a cake with a single candle on top. “We saved a piece of Cake from Pinkie for ya. Quick, blow out the candle and make a wish!”

It was almost midnight. Rarity barely took her time to deliberate and blew out the candle.

“So, Rarity, what did you wish for?” Rainbow Dash wanted to know.

“Dashie!” Pinkie Pie nudged her. “She can't tell you or her wish won't come true!”

Rarity smiled at her friends. “Don't worry, girls. I think it already came true.”