Lonely Hooves

by Mist_Chaser

Rating: teen
Tags: Comedy, Other, Adventure, Derpy Hooves, DJ P0N-3, Alternate Universe, Main 6, Drama, Original Character, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Mystery, Dark
Length: 6218

Nopony knows who he is or where he came from, Not even he himself could give any expaination... All they did know is that he needed help...

Nopony knows who he is or where he came from, Not even he himself could give any expaination... All they did know is that he needed help. Nopony could have possibly geussed how much trouble he was really in... ????? in Equestria fic

Published 2017-02-25 14:40:01 UTC
Last updated 2017-03-04 11:29:40 UTC

Prologue

Chapter: Prologue (The Beginning of the End.)

KRATHOOOOOOOOOOOM

Lightning bolts arched across the dark, brooding, sky of Equestria as two armies stood facing each other on the battlefield below. At the moment the space between them was the only thing keeping them from tearing each other apart right away. (Well that and neither leader had yet given the order to attack the other side. This was only a minor detail if you were to ask the invading army though.) Though it was hard to see due to the darkness of night, The enemy's portal into Equestria and the gathering storm provided everyone (and everypony) in the area with enough light to wish they couldn't see anything at all. One side could only be described as what one would find in a child's storybook consisting of countless very colorful, (and very heavily armed and armored) ponies, unicorns, and pegasai, standing alongside them were also changelings (moderately armored and somewhat excited at the prospect of a fight), buffalo (Traditionally unarmored for cultural reasons.), and in the very far back the towering figure of Discord , The Spirit of Chaos and Disharmony himself (whom found the idea of armor unnecessary for anything more than a comedic prop.), looking rather intimidating with his long draconic looking body silhouetted in the shadows. for some reason he decided to make his eyes glow red in the darkness, making him look if nothing less than terrifying to any who happened to look in his direction. (Which is why a lot of the army kept their attention looking straight ahead as to avoid looking at him.)

On the other side of the battlefield stood what could only be described as a nightmare's nightmare. Hoards of demonic, spirit creatures of all shapes and sizes standing in front of a massive rocky structure with steps leading up to a massive swirling vortex that functioned as the portal to their own world. They were ready to fight with their sharp teeth, horns, claws, and in some cases scythes, should the order come from their leader who stood smugly above them on a floating platform looking down at what lay before him. Unlike his hoards who seemed feral and mindless, he was very wolf like in appearance, though he stood on two legs and was dressed in a purple striped suit and a matching fedora. in all respects he looked quite civilized and thoughtful in comparison to his minions. flashing an evil amused smile at the scene before him the dire wolf glanced to the six armor clad ponies standing at the front of the line leading the army of creatures of Equestria against him. Glaring at him from below, they were a white unicorn dawned In black banded armor around her chest and legs, each piece bearing a single purple gem. She had a wild electric blue mane, and purple sunglasses and went by the name of Vinyl Scratch (or DJ-PON3 if you knew her by her stage name.) Next to her a grey Pegasus wearing silver armor, a straw colored mane, and extremely uneven golden eyes that seemed to look in opposite directions most of the time (yet somehow maintained a fierce expression at the enemy.) named Derpy Hooves. Hovering above the other five, a cyan Pegasus clad in gold spiked armor (and wielding spiked hooves fro some reason) with a wild rainbow mane named Rainbow Dash. An orange freckled earth pony, clad in heavy gold armor that seemed simpler in design than the other five, stood on the other end of the line with a straw colored mane tied back in a ponytail. The mare wore a Stetson looking hat and answered to the name of AppleJack. An intelligent looking, purple alicorn clad in gold armor, looking rather impressive and regal named Princess Twilight Sparkle stood next to her, ready to do her duty in the name of friendship. And the final member of the group, being the one the enemy wanted most stood at the groups center so they could defend him if necessary. He was in all respects an unassuming grey Pegasus, wearing grey armor that matched his dull grey coat, and he also wore square spectacled glasses that gave him a rather intelligent and determined look, Unlike the others who had a name he was simply dubbed by the others as 'Lonely Hooves'. "So THIS is how it's going to be, is it?" the Dire Wolf asked seeming rather annoyed at how much work he was has put into this little venture already. It would have been so much simpler if the ponies had just cooperated civilly and handed the grey one over like he asked them to in the first place but instead they decided to fight him on the request... The stupidity of mortals was always quite annoying to him, which is why he hated dealing with the living when he had to. The dead were always so much easier to talk to and cooperated far easier with what needed to be done. Well that could be easily fixed as far as the wolf was concerned and the way things had been going, they were about to be...

(((( Lonely's Log ))))

So, confused as to what's going on yet? Well let me enlighten you then. What you are witnessing here is the start of an all-out war, fueled by one side's desperate struggle for survival. (That would be ours specifically.) Things have gotten grim on us I'll admit. If we fail this battle the consequences will be dire which is why everyone is counting on us now, and let's be honest here, we're pretty well outmatched. It's not looking very good. But things weren't like this before actually... To be honest, this is actually all my fault... Let's rewind shall we, then you can possibly understand what led to this nightmare...

(I guess my story began where all stories like this usually begin, Waking up and realizing something was very wrong with me...)

(To hopefully be continued...)

Author's Note

This is actually based on my friend Zaron's webcomic of the same name on Deviant art and story concept and Original characters belong to him, everything else belongs to Hasbro. I just wanted to see how well I could convert it to a written format. I know I could possibly make it better (and possibly longer...) with an editor and possibly some proof readers, so if anyone is interested, let me know!
(This is my first attempt at writing so constructive criticism is more than welcome.)

Wanderer (part1)

Wanderer (part 1: Meeting Equestria is Easier With an Empty Head!)
Note from the author:Italic writing is introduction Thank you!

Equestria, The home of Pegasai, Ponies, and Unicorns. A world of myth and legend, held in harmony by Its rulers, Princess Celestia and Princess Luna. In this land, strange beasts, creatures, and even dragons, exist among Its equine inhabitants. But none are as strange and out of place as the beast wandering out of the fog near Ponyville...

"Uuugh..." said the creature stupidly as it wandered out of the fog, squinting from the fact its thoughts remained just as thick as the fog it had just escaped. "Where am I?" It asked itself stupidly as it opened it's eyes to its surroundings, seeing it was standing on top of a hill looking down at what looked like a quaint little village below it though not seeing it as a place he recognized. As It's mind became more coherent to It's surroundings It happened to look down at It's feet as It started walking forwards. It couldn't help but notice It had hooves and not feet at all. "On that, What am I? This is awka- ACK!" The creature suddenly felt a sharp pain in It's leg as It tripped over It's own hooves and ceremoniously tumbled forward down the hill, heavily face planting several times from It's own forward momentum before finally coming to a stop at the bottoml, now far more familiar with the land than it would have preferred to begin with.

Lifting it's head from It's final face plant, It noticed It was now laying in front of a stream at the bottom of the hill, but at the moment what was staring back at It from the stream was what had caught It's full attention. It was a grey colored face, pointy ears attached to the top of It's head with long unkempt dark grey hair separating them. It had a small muzzle with square half-framed spectacles, and grey eyes staring at It from behind the lenses. "I'M A HORSE!" he cried out in shock of his reflection's sudden helpfulness. Yet even though now he knew what he was more questions rushed in to take the place of old ones.

"But, why am I a horse?..." looking around, he noticed right across the stream was the town he saw earlier, causing more questions to flood his brain once he noticed the other creatures going around about their business there. "W-WHY IS EVERYONE A HORSE? I'M IN A LAND OF HORSES!" needless to say the others walking by who happened to notice him were giving him curious if not worried looks. Then all at once, dread hit him with a final realization as the last bit of fog left his brain "AND... and... and I don't know who I am..."

(To be continued in Part 2)

Author's Note

Okay I'm breaking this chapter into parts simply because It actually took pretty long and I'm not used to writing yet. Again, please feel free to give me any constructive criticism. I'm also still looking for an editor and proof readers. if anyone is interested in those positions, just feel free to message me.
As for the fact I only referred to our hero as a creature and as an It in the beginning, this was simply his level of awareness at the time: Complete amnesia and grogginess to the point of very little realization of self... Once he saw his reflection he was able to determine that he was both equine and male.

Wanderer (part 2)

Lonely Hooves
Wanderer (part 2: Enter: The Rock, and the Mare who loves him!)

Then all at once, dread hit him with a final realization as the last bit of fog left his brain "AND... and... and I don't know who I am..."

"Bummer dude..." said an awkward feminine voice behind him. He had been so wrapped up in his own thoughts that the voice made him jump and nearly scream out in surprise as he turned to face whomever had spoken. What he saw was probably the most confusing thing he had seen today and couldn't quite process it fully at the moment. A grey, horse with intense golden eyes and a straw colored mane, was laying on her back on top of a very cushy looking cloud floating at least five feet off the ground with her head dangling over the edge, looking at him upside down. He noted she had an expression that could only be described as 'Ditzy'.

"Oh, sorry! Didn't mean to sneak up on you." She said noting the startled look on his face. "I saw you come out of the fog and fall straight on your face, I can relate..." She rolled over onto her stomach which oddly made her eyes seem to move in different directions so one now faced up towards the sky while the other was still looking at him. "Name's Derpy Hooves, What's yours?" she smiled as she stuck her hoof down to him in greeting. things went awkwardly silent as she patiently waited for a reply and he just gave her the deadpan look of death. She then looked at him sheepishly realizing her folly. "Ohhh, right. You don't know... Sorry..."

He decided he had had enough and turned to walk away, this was obviously not a very helpful cloud-horse. "Ee-yeah, I'm walking..." he said in a very annoyed tone. "Oh, hay, come on!..." The cloud-horse named Derpy Hooves whined. "Yeesh, what a meanie..." she mumbled to herself as she pulled out a small rock with a crudely drawn smiley face on it. "What'cha think Bruno, think we should help Mister Fussbucket?" Needless to say the rock stayed stubbornly quiet. Derpy got a determined look on her face as she sat up. "Your right, Bruno. We can't just leave a guy with no brain of his own... Even if he is kinda rude."

'Mister Fussbucket' as Derpy had called him was still currently moving as far as he could away from her when he suddenly felt a sharp blow to the back of his head. "OWWWW, What the...?!" he asked stupidly as he turned to look for the source of his sudden headache. Seeing a rock with a smiley face on the ground he then heard a very aggravated voice of Derpy directly on his other side. "Bruno knows Kung-fu..." she warned. He turned to her knowing very well what acctually happened. "YOU THREW A ROCK AT ME!!!" he yelled accusingly, then his face faltered noticing she was still above eye level with him but her cloud was now missing. "aaaand you can fly..." Derpy moved down and picked up the rock, holding it in her hoof and spoke with a look of matter of factness on her face. "Bruno's not just some rock. He's a faithful and loving companion." She then spread her wings to move on to her next point. "An' of course I can fly, Every Pegasus Can!" She then looked to his side curiously for some reason. "I mean, can't you?"

The oddness of the question confused him. "What? No! It's not like I have..." At that moment he noticed what she had been staring at. "WINGS!!! I have wings?" He blinked as they seemed to flap out the second he had noticed them. this was too much for him, he definitely felt sick and overwhelmed from not noticing them before. "Gyuh." he groaned not looking at all well. "Wowee, your a strange one... How hard did you hit that noggin'?" she inquired looking rather worried for him. "I think I'm going to lose it.." he responded darkly as he continued to panic over how little he actually knew about his own body. "Think ya already did Mister." Derpy reminded him playfully. "Look, just calm down. Ol' Derpy Hooves'll help ya get your head on straight!" she reassured. "Oh, Joy..." he said very unenthusiastically. "OW!!!" he cried out suddenly as 'Bruno' struck him once more...

(after a minute of letting him calm down)

Derpy smiled as she had sat him down and began to try and teach her new friend everything he could possibly need to know in order to fit in with other ponies and seeing how empty his head seemed, she decided to start with the basics. "Let's start simple! You dunno your name, but do you know where you are?" he gave a blank look for a second. "Horse Land?" he asked hopefully. "Equestria actually!" She corrected cheerfully. "Or, more Specifically, PONYVILLE!" she pointed a hoof across the stream to the town. "Ponyville?" he blinked unsurely. "Probably on Account of all the ponies, Were all ponies even you! You an' me are pegasai on account of the wings." she poked his wing as if to make her point before continuing. "Ponies With the horn? that's a unicorn! Heeheehee that rhymed" she giggled pointing to random minty looking unicorn in the distance trying her best not to get distracted from teaching. "They can use magic to do all sortsa stuff" She then directed her hoof at at tan pony without wings or a horn that seemed to be talking to the minty unicorn. "An' then there's the Earth Ponies. They don't look all that special, but the truth is they're REALLY strong!"

The spectacled Pegasus still looked uneasy. "For the record, I find my equine status quite alarming." he stated. "And that is REALLY WEIRD! I mean, what else would you be?" she asked. "I get that, but like... Could I really lose my memory so bad that I for get what I am?" he inquired. "Dude, you're askn' the wrong pony. I've been scared by my own reflection before..." She blushed sheepishly at admitting this. "But don't you worry! Ol' Derpy Hooves'll keep you on course of bein' a horse!" she giggled again at her rhyme. He rolled his eyes "You refer to yourself that way a lot, huh?" he inquired accusingly. She moved in close with a look that told him he struck a nerve. "Bruno hates mumbles..." She said darkly before walking forward, the look vanishing almost instantly and being replaced by cheerfulness as she held out a hoof to point the way towards the bridge into town. Her voice seemed full of excitement now. "Now come on! I'll give ya th' GRAND TOUR!"

(To be continued in part 3!)

Author's Note

Sorry, to admit this so late but the whole of chapter 1 is actually 4 parts. and seeing as part two is finally entering Ponyville. It wont be long till a lot of familiar faces start showing up trying to help Derpy's amnesiac friend. Many are probably wondering why the bubbly mare is acting so off and having rage issues and her sole source of comfort is a rock, well I promise these questions will be answered soon and she has good reasons.
I know Lonely is a bit of a grump also, but you would be too if you were in a world that made no sense to you either.

Wanderer (Part 3)

Wanderer (Part 3: Silly Names and Girly Nouns.)

"Now come on! I'll give ya th' GRAND TOUR!"

Derpy happily trotted along in front of her new friend speaking in a friendly matter-of-fact tone as they crossed the stream. "This is a bridge!" she said informatively . "I know what a bridge is... Give me some credit." he retorted playfully at how serious she was taking her role. "Dude, you forgot your own species..." she reminded him teasingly, causing him to remain silent for a moment before responding. "Fair enough..." he admitted.

Derpy decided to continue as they left the bridge and entered the busy town market which at the moment seemed crowded to capacity with what seemed to be ponies of every type and color of the rainbow. "Comin' into town we have the markets and Inns and such. Things are pretty busy right now, but It's Usually pretty chill." she explained. "Why all the hubbub then?" he wondered to why today would be so active if things weren't usually like this. "Oh, we got some royal guard around. Guess that'll happen when we have a couple a' princess' hole up with a bunch of old books..." she explained. "Hm..." he said as he said, noticing his reflection in a window of a building. for some reason he felt odd looking at it. "Wazzup?" Derpy asked seeing something was obviously bothering him. "Huh? Oh, nothing. Just... have this weird urge to break into song right now..." he admitted with a look of extreme discomfort from the weird thought. Derpy seemed to look somewhat amused "Yeah, that happens 'round here I guess..." she couldn't help but avoid his eyes as she told him. "I..., SERIOUSLY?!!!" he didn't seem to know what was stranger, the urge he was having, or hearing it was natural. "Sure dude! Ponies, like, do it like all the time. but for the sake of time, what's on your mind?... And in summery, not symphony..."

He sighed looking at the ground trying to put his feelings into words the best he could. "I... I guess I'm sort of dumbstruck by everything... I'm lost, clueless, Don't even have a name... And that's pretty scary right?..." he paused for a moment to look her in the eye. "So, why am I okay with it?..." She simply smiled and giggled. "Well speakin' from a-sperience, overworkn' a scrambled noggin ain't any good... Ya just gotta rest your head and ol' Derpy has just the thing!" She then ushered him over to a nearby stall and slammed her hoof on the counter, yelling with a crazed look on her face that made him cower in fear just from seeing. "YO, APPLE QUEEN! AH NEED THE JUICE!!!" at this, the orange mare behind the counter, with a straw colored mane and was wearing a Stetson hat, who had her back turned and seemed to have been tending to her inventory, simply glanced at the counter seeming amused by Derpy's antics. "Oh hey there Derpy, whos the fella?" the Stetson pony greeted. "Oh, just some poor lost soul I picked up outside a' town." she responded cheerfully before returning to the explanation of her visit. "Anyway, I bet he don't even remember the last time he ate..." she said. "I don't remember anything..." he corrected. "See what I mean?" Derpy giggled. "Uh, huh." the Stetson pony said with a somewhat understanding if not amused look. "So what's on the me menu today?" asked Derpy looking at the selection of goods on the shelves behind the counter. "Plenty an' don't you doubt it!" said the mare behind the counter as she went into sales mode. "Got a couple a Granny's fresh baked apple pies even, and you know how those tend to go!" Derpy held out her hoof that seemed to be somehow holding a couple gold coins. the crazy look from before had returned. "HOOOOOH! TAKE MAH MONEH!" She said weirdly before tossing them on the counter while immaturely adding a fwooshing sound for some strange reason. needless to say that her amnesiac friend felt very embarrassed to know her at this moment.

The vendor looked at the bits and then at Derpy nervously. "Ah, Um... Ah appreciate the thought Sugarcube, but ya know yer' tender's no good 'round here. Don't feel right, what with you helpin' 'round the farm since the, uh... 'Incident'..." Derpy immediately slammed her hooves on the counter seeming to become strangely defensive all of a sudden. "THAT STORM WASN'T MY FAULT!!!... An' neither were the boulders!... or the elephants..." she then noticed that her amnesiac friend was staring warily at her as if trying to piece together how a storm, boulders, and elephants could possibly equal getting free food. she looked away embarrassed by the stare. "It was a weird day at the post office..." she explained quietly while unable to look him in the eye. "Point is, I can pay jus' like anypony else..." she said timidly to the vendor. "Fine, fine..." the vendor said rolling her eyes from the drama. "Tell ya what, Derpy. If'n yer so bent on payin' somehow, how 'bout you help Big Mac fix up the fence?" she offered trying her best to work something reasonable to her friend. "Y'mean the one that was trampled by the elephants?" derpy asked seeming to know exactly what fence was being discussed. "Said yourself, twasn't yer fault..." retorted the vendor pushing a tray with two pies and two apple juices temptingly in front of Derpy. the grey Pegasus just stared at the pie silently for a second and contemplated it before responding in a somewhat defeated tone. "Sure, fine... Ill' be there tomorrow mornin'..." she picked up the tray with her teeth and rather aggressively dragged the stallion next to her away from the apple stand with her hoof. "C'mon Space Case..." the vendor merely watched them walk away and couldn't help but chuckle inwardly at her friend's erratic behavior. "Criminy. What are we gonna to do with her?" she spoke to herself silently.

Derpy slammed the tray down on one of the nearby tables that had been set up as little place for market-goers to eat at, still looking a little peeved and emotional. "Um, you okay?" he asked her. "I'm FINE..." she replied sternly before turning away. "Other ponies jus like to remind me I'm a bit ACCIDENT PRONE... Except, you know, some of them don't so much think of them as accidents..." she shook as she explained and desperately tried to contain the burning rage she was feeling. "I see." he responded flatly not really feeling comfortable seeing her like this. She then turned to look at him as she continued to vent her frustration in a much softer tone now. "I'm not so different from anypony else, but sometimes..." She then went silent seeming on the verge of tears. for some reason looking at her made him feel a sudden chill and what scared him is that he could swear it was as if he were being almost suffocated by the darkness and despair he could feel from her. Then the strangeness started as he heard mocking voices in his head as if her darkness from her had stirred them into being. ~You'll never fit in...~ one mocked. ~WHAT A LOSER!~ said a female one. ~What's with this guy?~ asked another. ~Were very worried about you.~ another admitted sternly. ~FREAK!~ called another. needless to say these voices were very alarming for him and he immediately grew concerned that he might be going crazy from their presence. He cleared his throat looking at Derpy and tried to ignore them. "So, um... You were telling me what's going on around here?" he said before taking a sip of his apple juice trying to change the subject from what was obviously very depressing for her. "Huh, O-oh, yeah of course!" she couldn't help but blush in embarrassment of how sidetracked she had gotten and was actually relieved to change the subject to something other than personal problems. almost immediately It was like a switch had been flipped, with her own dark mood gone the voices in his head seemed to vanish completely. he couldn't help but give a mental sigh of relief as his head felt much more comfortable without them.

"Th' town's all aflutter ever since princess Luna arrived!" Derpy explained. "Who's that?" the stallion asked in confused tone. "The mare that raises the moon at night? guardian slash freaky walker of ponies dreams?" Derpy responded quizzically hoping the description of a princess and her abilities would hopefully jog his memory at least a little. "That all sounds super comforting." he said not sounding in the least comforted by the thought of some pony walking into his dreams. "Anyway..." she continued. "The Royal Guard's been all over Ponyville ever since, And Luna's been holed up with Princess Twilight, but nopony knows why. The only thing going around is that somepony heard something about a 'disturbance.'" Derpy took a sip of her drink before continuing. "Been good for the shops, though! That's why they have this setup for the food sellin's." He looked at Derpy skeptically as he summed up what she was telling him. "So, what, you've got royalty hiding from some sort of bad vibe?" he asked. before she could respond, a very cheerful voice spoke up beside him. "Oh, They're probably digging through dirty old books and stuff..." the voice startled him but it was the fact the owner of the voice was now sitting next to him in a spot that had been empty only a second before he heard her and had managed to appear without him noticing her was enough to cause him to fall backward onto the ground in fright.

The mare was pink, had extremely blue eyes, and was extremely poofy. That was the best way to describe her, that and something about her eyes seemed more expressive than other ponies he had seen so far. she simply sipped her own juice as she looked down at him. "Hehe, this guys funny!" she said happily. "Can I help you?" He asked darkly as climbed back up to the table, trying to contain the deep feelings of rage he was feeling for the throbbing bump on his head. " dunno, am I in trouble?" the pink pony asked honestly not knowing. Derpy decided this was a good time to lighten the mood with an introduction. "Ah, um... This is Pink-" However before she could finish, the pink pony interrupted by beginning to jabber her own introduction with a big smile on her face. "Hi!Myname'sPinkiePie!Inoticedyournewintown,'causIalwaysknowalloftheponiesthatcomeintotownbutIdon'tknowyou,andI'dneverever everforgetanypony!" He didn't know how it was possible for somepony to speak that fast, He was able to make out that her name was pinkie pie, and that she noticed he was new, and that she didn't know him, but the rest was too much a blur of words. his only thoughts he could muster after her Introduction were two simple words. "Oh boy..." Derpy could see her friends distress and took Pinkie's shoulder and spoke calmly in her ear. "H-hey Pinkie? maybe slow down a little, He hit his head or somethin'. He cant remember a thing..." Pinky let out an "Oooooohhhhhh." in confirmation of understanding. Pinkie grabbed a piece of pie on the table and tried a new topic to win him over. "So what brings you into town?" she asked happily before eating the slice of pie whole. he couldn't help but glare at her. "She just said I cant even-" she immediately giggled, cutting him off. "Just kidding, that's not important at all!" she then ate another slice that she had grabbed and seemed to somehow close whatever distance was between them to the point they were cheek to cheek "But what is important is your here now! and that's a NEW THING." Somehow her hoof was now around him in a buddy-buddy fashion that he hadn't even noticed till she finished talking. he was about to protest but she interrupted his train of thought by starting again. "AND NEW THINGS CALL FOR A PARTY!!!" He shook his head trying to protest. "I don't thin-" he was interrupted as he lost all air in his lungs as he was squeezed in a one forlegged hug from her. Somehow she had grabbed Derpy from the other side of the table with her other foreleg and was receiving the same oxygen depriving treatment. any protests for mercy were now falling on deaf ears now that Pinkie Pie was in party planning mode. "OOOOOO, IT'LL BE SO MUCH FUN! THERE'LL BE BALLOONS AND MUSIC AND SNACKS AND WE'LL ALL CELEBRATE THE ARRIVAL OF, UH... um..." She let go of Derpy and pulled his face to hers so they were now nose to nose. a panic was currently in her eyes as she realized a major party crisis had arisen. "WHAT DO WE CALL YOU?!" the pink mare demanded. "Please let go of my face..." he whimpered in response.

"Hey now, what's all the hollerin' over?" asked the apple vendor as she wandered over to see what could possibly have upset Pinkie Pie this time. "APPLE JACK! THE NEW PONY DOESN'T KNOW HIS OWN NAME! WHAT'RE WE GONNA DO, WE CAN'T JUST GO AROUND CALLING HIM 'NEW PONY' ALL THE TIME!!!" Apple Jack smiled softly. "Now calm on down, Pinkie Pie. You can always get some idea from--" her face faltered as she looked in the stallions direction and realized a detail about him that not only destroyed her plan but as far as she had always been aware had been completely impossible. "Oh..." she stated looking somewhat nervous and freaked out for some reason. "Oh mah..." she stated even further as Pinkie let out a dramatic gasp as she noticed as well. "Okay, why is everybody staring at my butt?" he asked as he turned to face them, as the attention was making him really uncomfortable. "Well I'll be. he's a..." Apple Jack began "HE'S A BLANK FLANK!!!" Pinkie interrupted happily. Apple Jack sighed as she mused at a thought that struck her funny. She knew a few little fillies that would feel a lot better if they saw this. "I'm a what?" he asked obviously confused by the term. Derpy moved over to see the detail she had missed as well. "You... You ain't got no cute mark..." she said in an obviously distressed tone. He blinked still trying to process her answer "Okay, like, one. That is the single girliest noun I have ever heard... Probably I mean..." he began, uncertain if he had ever heard anything girlier before his memory loss. "And two. What does that even mean?" Applejack decided to step in and explain though she seemed to be looking at him rather sadly, her jaw quivered as she spoke to him. "A cutie mark is like... Well the simplest way t' put it is that it represents a pony's own unique special talent, but also... It Kinda says who ya are. It's part of a ponies identity!" she took a deep breath before continuing. she could see from his face what she was about to say was sinking in but the next part had to be said. "Mister, ah dunno what happened, but somethin's done and jumbled ya up good, Not one part of you's sure who you are..."

"So, I'm some sort of total weirdo.. Is that what your saying?." he asked darkly as he absorbed this new information. "That aint' what I'm saying at all!" Apple Jack said defensively. "It is totally weird though!" Pinkie happily chimed in. Apple Jack couldn't help but glare at Pinkie who simply smiled back, oblivious to the hostility. Derpy could tell this subject was not helping her friend simply by looking at him so she decided to try help getting back to a subject that might actually help him. "So, uh..." she started. "NAMES! We were talkin' about names!" Apple Jack quickly caught on. "Uh, right! But what do we call somepony what meandered into town alone without a memory in his skull?" the second Apple Jack asked this Pinkie seemed to become more excited, her hair poofed up even more for some reason as well. "OOO" she exclaimed, obviously inspired by AJ's question. She fell to her back and started waving her hoof in the air, obviously wanting to be called on with her idea. "OOOOOOOOOO,OOOOOOOOOO,OOOOOOOO!!!" AJ simply smirked, amused by her friends foalish behavior. "Gee, yall' call it wild speculatin', but I think Pinkie has an idea..." she stated teasingly

Pinkie sat up on her haunches, a look of utmost seriousness in her squinting eyes that was mirrored by her voice as she spoke to her friends in a most dramatic fashion she could muster "Tales of terror!!! The arrival of a mare of great import sets the Ponyville Rumor mill into an out of control spin! Nopony truly knows what to make of her appearance! Certainly something of grave is on the horizon! Is it a Timberwolf invasion? The return of an ancient evil? Or woe of all woes, could the bakery be out of muffins?" Derpy couldn't help but whimper and feel faint at this very terrible thought of a muffinless Ponyville. However Pinky was on a roll and continued her little drama tale. "As the sun rises over this town that's spiraling into Chaos, A lone desperado appears from the morning mists..." at the mention of the word desperado, a brow arched on the grey stallion's face. he didn't see how he would possibly qualify in Pinkie's mind for the term of a desperate or reckless individual and wondered if she even knew what the word meant. needless to say, Pinkie continued her dramatic rant without pausing. "Nopony knows where he came from. Nopony needs to know. His dark history is his own!" He looked to Apple Jack next to him and whispered as he was getting a little creeped out by Pinkies game. "Dark history?" he questioned. "Ah think this might be gettin' outa hoof..." she responded honestly. regardless the pink mare would not allow herself to be stopped by simple interruptions, the gleam in her eye was proof enough of this. "Ponyville doesn't know it yet, but its savior just walked in from the woods! By his works shall evil learn the meaning of fear and find itself vanquished! For he is... LONELY HHOOVES!!!" The grey stallion tried to contain himself, but sadly that is an impossible feat when dealing with Pinkie Pie. "WHAT THE HECK ARE YOU BLATHERING ABOUT?" he growled in obvious frustration of the stupidity of the name she had given him. Apple Jack also had a question for pinkie, though she was unhappy with the mare for a different reason. "Pinkie, have you been gettin' into m' western tales again?" she asked accusingly.

Before either question could be answered Brash laughter could be heard above them that immediately caused Derpy to really feel ill and want to be anywhere but there at that very moment. "PFFFFFT... HAHAHAHA!!!"

(Wanderer chapters to be concluded next time in part 4!)

Author's Note

Well I was sick all last week but Im feeling better now. I hope you enjoyed part 3. After the wanderer stuff, maybe I'll start revealing Our hero's past a little and even further down the line reveal the reasons he forgot it in the first place.
(still looking for proof readers and editors by the way...)