A Philosophy Lesson, With Discord

by Princess Lulamoon

Rating: everyone
Tags: My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Comedy, Queen Chrysalis, Random, Discord
Length: 974

We all think we know how the world works. Discord begs to differ, with a bit of philosophy that probably won't persuade you in any way shape or form.

"So, allow me to explain my world views, and my magic, all in one short lesson."

A random idea I decided to put to words.

Excuse the terrible art that is the cover, it was a quick drawing.

And Chrysalis is here too, mainly because I can make some decent jokes with her and Discord.

Published 2017-02-26 03:10:01 UTC
Last updated 2017-02-26 03:10:01 UTC

It's Here

"Okay, okay, okay. Let's be philosophical here for a moment.", Discord began as he sat in the chair in Fluttershy's cottage. He snapped his claw, making a pair of glasses appear on his face.

"You all wonder where my wonderful chaos comes from, correct?", He asked no one in particular.

"Wonderful isn't the word I'd use..", a voice muttered in irritation.

Discord cleared his throat, obliviously ignoring the negative speaker. "How I see it is the whole world, the whole multi-dimensional universe, is only shown how we perceive it. Most of us were shown that everything has a place, that everything is supposed to be put the way we see it."

The draconequus stood up just then, slowly making his way to the cottage door. His talon was held behind his back as he opened the door with his paw. Leading the way outside, he let his arm move out towards the small town of Ponyville that was just down the hill of the cottage, his talon making a movement as if to display it.

"You were taught that we have to live in a world like this, in a place such as this one. Everything is harmonious, in a just place, doing exactly what it's supposed to.", He continued, slowly making his way towards the Everfree Forest that was quite close to Fluttershy's yard.

With a snap of his talon, Discord completely changed the forest in front of him. The trees turned to candy canes, their leaves of cotton candy. A few of the puffs of cotton candy dripped chocolate milk, which Discord eagerly let land in a large glass, which he took a small sip of.

"You see, to a draconequus like myself, the world can be seen however we want. We don't see the same boring, plain, dull world as you do. We can see this dumb earth as however we wish."

He snapped his claw again, the forest returning to it's normal state. He then made his way back up the hill to Fluttershy's cottage, opening the door and making his way back to his seat.

Looking to the annoyed figure in the couch opposite him, Discord asked, "So did that answer your question?"

Chrysalis heaved a heavy sigh. "All I asked for was a drink."

Discord tipped his head, looking at the changeling with a perplexed expression. "Really?"

Chrysalis let out an irritated hiss. "Yes. Really."

Discord was silent for a moment. "You know, you never told me if you were colby or Swiss..."

All Discord received in reply was an angry hiss.

"Never mind, I'll go find Fluttershy.", Chrysalis muttered under her breath in changeling, which to Discord sounded like a series of chirps, hisses and growls.

Discord sat back in his chair, making a magazine appear in his claws. He skimmed through it, letting out a groan at some of the ads inside.

"Honestly, cartoons these days are simply horrible. I mean really, coming from a show for 6-year-old girls, how bright can colors get? At this point, you should just be letting your kids stare at the sun."

Discord paused mid-rant when Chrysalis came back into the room, sitting down on the couch. She took a sip of the tea she had gotten, before rolling her eyes.

"Discord, honestly. We've all gotten your complaints about these new reboots. And it's just plain ironic, seeing as you yourself come from a reboot. Furthermore, it's not anyone else's fault Cartoon Network ruins everything.", She said brusquely before Discord could get a word in.

"How come you get to be a part of these jokes too?", Discord asked.

"How come you constantly make cheese jokes any time you see me?", Chrysalis retorted.

Discord made the magazine dissolve in a huff, sighing as he picked up the ashes and blew them into a bubble that flew out an open window.

"Fair point.", Discord said, after a few moments of sitting in silence.

"So... I'm still confused. How exactly did that 'lesson', quote on quote, explain your magic?", Chrysalis asked after a long while.

Discord put his paw to his chin in thought.

"And before you answer that," Chrysalis added before Discord could respond,"I'm not going outside again."

Discord sat lower in his chair, having been about to get up. "Fine.", He said, folding his arms.

He cleared his throat. "But to answer your question, basically, my magic is me showing everyone how I see the world. It's my way of letting you see in my eyes, I guess."

"So... You're constantly hallucinating.", Chrysalis deadpanned.

"No, no... It's.. it's hard to explain...", Discord replied.

"Really...?"

Discord sighed, nodding. "It's just.. you'd have to see things draconequus style to better understand it, I suppose. If that makes any sense."

"Like describing the color red to a blind person?", Chrysalis asked, understanding in a sense.

"Yes, kind of. Didn't you say something like that when I asked you what lie tastes like?"

The changeling nodded. "So your magic has no real explanation then?"

"Guess not."

The pair sat in silence, Chrysalis drinking more of her tea. The seconds turned to minutes, and Discord resorted to twiddling his claws in boredom, waiting patiently for something to happen.

"Why are we just sitting here doing nothing?", Chrysalis asked after about five minutes.

"The author needs at least a thousand words for this story to publishable on this website, so it's filler.", Discord replied.

"So the author can't write long stories then?"

"A thousand words is a lot, my cheese-legged bug horse.", Discord said simply.

"Going back to your magic for a quick moment, that 'philosophy lesson' was pointless, wasn't it, seeing as our can't explain your magic correctly?"

Discord rubbed his neck with a paw. "I...guess so."

Author's Note

The struggle of writing a large sequence of words, I swear.