Quillian's Drunken Night

by Golden Script

Rating: mature
Tags: Slice of Life, Alternate Universe, Romance, Drama, Crossover
Length: 3322

A simple love story between a stallion and a lesbian... wait....

A mare goes out for a drink. She's not looking for a good time, just some mind-numbing beverages. Fortunately—or unfortunately, depending on one's perspective—a good time finds her.

Quillian Bird is property of Pinkieappleflutter, who helped write bits and pieces of the story. Go give her some love!

A "what if our OCs met?" story that got out of hand. :twilightblush:

Neither Golden's story, nor Quill's story, are required reading to understand this one (though they will help you understand some of the references made) and this story is based in neither story's cannon timeline.

Pony on cover based off of this picture by the talented johnjoseco, vectored by Golden Script. (me)
The background is "Mlp Bar" by matty4z.

Published 1970-01-01 00:00:00 UTC
Last updated 2017-02-28 20:40:27 UTC

Quillian's Drunken Night

Salty's Salt Lick—a place that ponies go to have a drink and find a partner for the night. Quillian was there for the former, though the latter would be a nice change of pace.

However, with the way her head rested on the bar, she got the feeling most ponies were shying away from her; and especially after she growled at the first stallion that tried to make a move. Quill didn’t look like she was in a good mood, and she wasn’t. A heavy cloud had been following her around for a week.

A sound drew her attention from the drops at the bottom of her empty glass. Somepony had taken the stool next to her. She raised her head to tell them off, but was mesmerized by what she found.

The most beautiful mare she’d seen in the small town of Ponyville. She stared openly as the grey pegasus ordered a light drink. The new arrival wore a stunning silver dress with little earrings—simple, yellow hoops—and her hair flowed over her neck like a golden waterfall. It took her a moment to notice Quill staring, but the sudden eye contact snapped Quill out of her trance. As her mind got back up to speed, she also noticed how nervous the other mare seemed to be.

“H-hello, my name’s Fairhoof Sc-Script,” the other mare stuttered out, glancing between Quill and the floor beneath their seats.

Quillian extended a hoof for her to bump and said “I’m Quillian Bird, but ponies call me Quill.” Fair bumped the hoof with slight hesitation. “You seem a little nervous. Everything alright?” Quill asked, an eyebrow raised.

“Well, it’s my first time out looking so…” she gestured to herself. “And I don’t know what to do,” she finished in a harsh whisper.

Quillian chuckled to herself. “Well, step one is to be more confident in yourself,” she said, looking the other mare over once again. “You look great.” Quill gave a soft smile as she went back to laying on the bar and rolling the beads of drink in her glass. “I bet you could get any stallion you want,” she mumbled to herself.

“Oh…” Fair looked herself over, then sat up straighter on her stool. She held the rigid posture for a minute before quickly leaning down to whisper in Quills ear “I don’t think it’s working.”

Quill looked up at Fair. She had her back stock straight and seemed as though she was holding her breath. The pose was so ridiculous she nearly laughed aloud. Hauling herself up from her previous position, she posed for Fair. “Relax a little,” she said with a faux-hair whip. “No stallion’s going to ask a girl that looks like she already has a pole up her flank.”

Fair chuckled nervously and tried to mimic Quill’s hair whip. Suffice it to say, she didn’t do a very good job. The mare gave an awkward smile in an obvious attempt to look alluring, but quickly let it fall to a frown. With a groan, she dropped her head to the bar and her hair covered her face. “Oh, it’s useless. I’ll never get anypony like this…”

It was then that Quill made it her personal mission that night to get this mare laid.

“You’ll get a stallion if it’s the last thing I do,” she mumbled to herself.

“Huh?” Fair asked, peeking through the curtain of hair.

“Okay, watch me and do as I do,” Quill said as she stood from the stool and walked over to a decent looking stallion.

Now, something one must know about Quillian to understand what she does next: She doesn’t like stallions. Quillian’s a lesbian, and proud of it.

Quill approached the stallion with a friendly look on her face. He stood up straighter as she came closer and leaned the pool cue against the table he and his buddy were playing on.

“So, my friend over there has some confidence issues, and I’m trying to show her how to be flirty. Just, uh… tell me a joke and I’ll laugh at it or something.” She smiled softly, making sure Fair could see the relaxed look she was giving him.

“Well, okay.” The stallion thought to himself for a moment, then smirked to himself. “Why did the chicken cross the road?” When Quill leaned in a little bit, actually sort of interested in the punchline, he continued. “To get a good drink,” he said, raising his own glass. “You wanna follow his example?” he said with a wink.

Quill chuckled—it wasn’t that bad a pickup line, considering some she’d heard in the past. She made a mental note to herself to use it later. A moment later, her laughter petered out and she looked to him with a genuine smile.

“Thank you. I bet she gets it, now.” She gave him a small nod, which he returned with a smile, and she went back to the bar.

Fair was nursing the drink she’d ordered, watching the exchange closely. When Quill came back she put the glass down and gave an anxious look, but did her best to stay calm and collected.

“So, think you can do it?” Quill asked, watching Fair as she looked towards the two stallions that had returned to their pool game.

“I-I think so…” Fair stuttered before standing and walking across the room.

This time, the stallions noticed her approaching much sooner than they had when Quill talked to them… but Fair didn’t stop to talk to them. She walked right past them and to the mares that were sitting in the booth behind them. The two stallions shrugged to each other and returned to their pool game.

Quill watched in confusion as Fair said something to one of the mares. The mare covered her mouth with a hoof and looked to her friends for support, but shrugs were the best she got. She gave Fair a sorry look and said something in a soft voice. Fair stammered something, as if she were trying to save the situation, and nodded apologetically before rushing back to the booth. As her flank hit the stool, her head hit the bar. A groan escaped the mane that was splayed over the surface.

“I, uh…” Quill hesitated, choosing her words carefully. “Flirting with mares is different than flirting with stallions.” When Fair didn’t respond, she continued. “If you want, I can show you how to hit on a mare.”

Fair peeked through her mane again, looking up at Quill with sad eyes. “Thanks for all your help, but it’s a lost cause at this point…” she mumbled as she returned to her moping.

“No, it isn’t.” Quill readjusted herself on her seat. “Here, this will be easier, because it can be just you and me. Practice!” she said cheerfully, trying to lift the poor mare’s spirits.

Fair, for her part, sat up—though still slumped over—and looked up at Quill. “Alright… Guess it can’t hurt anything…”

“Alright.” Quill said, smiling encouragingly at Fair. “I’ll start. Ahem…” she cleared her throat. “Why did the chicken cross the road?” she asked with a slight smirk. Fair perked a bit, now looking into Quills eyes as she prepared herself for the punchline. “To get a better drink. You wanna follow his example?” she asked with a wink.

Fair no longer looked sad, but instead seemed mesmerized by something. She stared at Quill for a moment before giving herself a quick shake. Quill dismissed it as Fair being extra attentive.

“Now, go and try that on another mare,” Quill suggested as she turned back to her drink—newly refilled, somehow—and took a deep swig.

“Uh… okay.” Fair stood up and walked off, leaving Quill with her glass.

Quill’s cloud still hung over her head, but it had gotten lighter, and now there was a mare whose night was no longer a mess because of her, and it made her feel good inside. She took a happy sip and began humming a tune to herself as she looked over the bar at the many bottles that decorated the far wall.

A hoof tapped her shoulder. ‘Oh, dear…’ she thought to herself as she set her drink down. The stallion from earlier had probably gotten the wrong idea and came to see if he could score with her. She turned in her chair with a sorry look on her face.

“Look, I know I flirted with you earlier, but I’m not-” she stopped as she finally came face to face with the pony.

It was Fairhoof, who now looked quite downtrodden.

“Oh… uh… okay, I’ll just-” she said as she started to walk off.

“Oh! No! I thought you were the stallion from earlier—please, sit!” she said, patting the stool the mare had used before. “What happened? Couldn’t find a mare you liked?” She asked, concerned.

“Well, no…” she said hesitantly as she sat down. “I found a mare…”

“Then where is she?” Quill asked, looking around the bar at the other mares that were scattered about.

“Uh…” Fair hesitated again, a light blush covering her muzzle. “Sh-she’s sitting right i-in front of me,” she said, looking up at Quill with the most adorable hopeful look Quill could remember ever seeing. “Why did the ch-chicken cross the road?” she asked, an awkward smirk spreading over her lips. Quill was too stunned to respond, which allowed Fair to continue. “T-to get a better drink. You wanna follow his e-example?” she finished with an awkward wink.

It was adorably pitiful how the punchline seemed to fade off into a shy whimper. Quill couldn’t help but let a light laugh escape, even if she had heard that joke three times in the past half hour. She didn’t notice Fair shy away, preparing to make a break for the exit.

“Y’know what?” she said as she calmed down. “I think I’ll take you up on that offer.”

Fair looked up in surprise, assuming she’d flubbed the execution. Quill’s amused smile said otherwise. Fair was shocked into silence, simply staring at Quill as Quill stared back.

“Well?” Quill prompted. “Where are we going?” She stood up from the stool at the bar and started for the door, leaving a couple of bits by the bartender as she passed the stallion by.

Fair scurried from her own stool and made a quick trot to catch up to Quill. She fumbled with her purse and dropped a hoofful of bits by the bartender, as well, before making a break for the door to try and catch up.

“There are a couple other bars in town I know of. ‘Course, we don’t need a bar to get a drink, now do we?” Quill asked herself more than Fair, as the other mare was still tripping over herself a few paces back. “Maybe you could show me to your place?” she mused suggestively.

“No!” Fair shouted as she finally caught up, surprising both Quill and herself. “Uh, I mean, it’s really messy right now. I wouldn’t feel comfortable showing it to other ponies.”

Quill stared at her for a moment, then shrugged. “Alright. My place it is, then.” Quill made a sharp right turn and confidently trotted towards her abode.

Fair followed, if in a more anxious manner. She wasn’t quite sure what she’d gotten herself into… yet.

Tonight was going to be a night to remember.

Quill opened the door, revealing the quaint apartment she’d been renting out for the past few weeks. It wasn’t anything special, but she’d made it her own place. A couch and coffee table had made it homier, a lamp lit up the living room when it was dark out, and the refrigerator had a “Romaine Calm” magnet on it.

Fair walked through the small foyer and gazed at her surroundings. She seemed to absorb every detail she could, examining every corner of the room she was in. Quill followed behind, idly tossing her keys into the key bowl she’d gotten as a housewarming gift from her friends.

“Home sweet home,” she sighed as she flopped onto the couch.

Fair looked at the mare sitting on the couch and realized how horribly overdressed she was for the occasion. She tried to ignore it as she took the spot next to Quill and sat stock still, not completely sure what to do but wait.

“So, are we going to get down to business or what?” Quill broke the silence, jostling Fair from her thoughts.

“Uh- business?” she asked, looking concerned and confused.

“Yeah! Business,” Quill licked her lips while gazing Fair up and down.

Fair subconsciously curled in on herself as her eyes went wide.

“Wait,” Quill said, leaning back a little. “You didn’t think I asked you to my place for tea and crumpets, did you?” she joked.

“Well…” Fair didn’t say anymore, but gave an awkward shrug.

“Oh, you are too innocent!” Quill squealed with a laugh. “Now, do you want to do it or should I go and find another mare to seduce?”

Fair didn’t say anything, opting to stay silent and let Quill draw her own conclusions. Quill, for her part, decided it was Fair’s adorable way of playing hard to get. She began crawling seductively over the couch. Fair leaned back, falling onto her back as she tried to escape the predatory mare. Quill pounced, trapping her prey under her.

“Ha! Gotcha!” she shouted, leaning in and kissing Fair’s soft lips. Fair resisted for a moment, but quickly gave in and started reciprocating the kiss.

The makeout session began to heat up. Fair’s hoof began drifting over Quill’s back and Quill began exploring Fair’s dress for a zipper. She found it on Fair’s front, leading up to her neckline. She hooked the little metal tab on her hoof and began pulling it down. She got halfway down when Fair’s eyes shot open and she rolled off the couch, taking Quill with her.

“Woah!” Quill yelped as she barely caught herself. “So that’s how we’re gonna play it?” she asked as she looked up, noticing Fair was desperately trying to pull the zipper shut again. “Fair? What’s wrong?” Her voice was much calmer, now; worried, even.

“I-I-I can’t, I’m s-sorry… I didn’t even want to go out tonight, much less like th-this!” she gasped to herself, still trying to zip the dress up. “I’m sorry, Q-Quillian, I don’t think I can do this…”

“Calm down, Fair! What are you talking about?” she put a hoof on Fair’s to try and calm her, but she only flinched away. “What’s wrong?”

The calm in Quill’s voice seemed to finally get to Fair as her breathing slowed. “I-” she hesitated, looking up at Quill with hurt eyes. “I’m not what you think I am.”

“What? Are you a changeling, or something?” Quill said sarcastically, sitting next to Fair on the ground.

“Well… no,” Fair said as she looked at the ground in contemplation.

“Then it’ll be fine.” Quill leaned in again, kissing Fair once more. “Whatever it is, we can work past it.”

“Y-you mean it?” Fair asked, foallike hope filling her eyes.

“Of course,” Quill cood, then chuckled to herself. “Y’know, I didn’t go out tonight looking for a marefriend.”

“Well, tha-” Fair was silenced by Quill’s hoof.

“Less talking, more kissing,” she said as she leaned in and continued their makeout session from before.

Quills hoof hooked the zipper again, pulling it down all the way and letting the dress slide down. Quill took note of Fair’s musculature. She must have worked out, because she was firm and toned in a very good way—of course, most pegasi were. She began kissing Fair’s neck, trailing small pecks across her fur on her way down past Fair’s navel.

Quill reached Fair’s crotch and looked up to Fair for permission to completely strip her of her dress. Fair hesitated for a moment, but gave an unsure nod, and Quill tugged the dress off completely…

… and was smacked in the jaw by something large, cylindrical, and hard.

Quill jumped back with a screech, landed on her couch and scurried away from Fair.

“Wh-what was that?” she shouted, looking down at Fair, who was now covering back up with the dress.

“That’s what I wanted to tell you…” Fair said, her voice suddenly much deeper. “I’m… well, I’m not exactly a mare…”

Quill stared at her—him—for a moment longer, processing exactly what had happened. She glanced down at his crotch, then up to his face—noting the subtle angles his nose and jaw had that she’d missed before.

“You’re a stallion?!” she screamed, rage filling the forefront of her mind.

“What? No!” he shouted, raising his hooves defensively.

The rage dissipated immediately, replaced with confusion.

“Huh?” she asked, looking at him sideways.

“Well…” he looked down at his crotch, then  back to her. “I don’t personally identify as a stallion. I also don’t really feel like a mare. I’m some kind of weird mix of the two—at least, in here.” He poked his head. “I don’t mind if you call me him or her, either. They’re just words to me.”

“But…” she stammered out. “But you have a….” She gestured at the half-donned dress around his waist.

“Yeah, We all have one or the other,” he stated with a slight chuckle. “I just happened to get this one—and it’s much more useful, if you ask me.” He winked, but it came across very strange with the low voice and beautiful makeup.

“So….” She composed her thoughts before she spoke. “You’re not a stallion or mare, but you have a penis.”

He thought for a moment, then nodded. “Yeah, about right.”

“But… but you’re a stallion!” she shouted, gesturing to him.

“I can be a mare, too,” he said in his higher voice, pulling the dress to cover more of himself and convey vulnerability.

Quill couldn’t help but see him as a mare in those few seconds—even knowing what he had between his legs. The strange shift triggered something in her. It wasn’t attraction, but it wasn’t apathy, either. Much like Fair’s gender, it was a strange in-between.

When Quill didn’t speak, Fair looked back to her with a serious face. “I’m just as much a mare as a stallion, Quill,” he said in his high voice. “I didn’t mean to trick you, but I didn’t think you’d react so…” he hesitated a moment, looking for the word, “passionately.”

“Okay, fine, you’re not a stallion or a mare—I get it. But I don’t like stallions. I don’t think I can-”

Quill was cut off as fair pulled the dress up over his shoulder and stood, walking past Quill and brushing his tail under her chin.

“Alright, if you insist. I’ll just go.” His voice was sexy and high, and that resonated with Quill in some sense.

She froze up, a chill washing over her body.

Fair sighed as he reached the door and opened it. “Unless, of course, you’d be willing to give me a shot?”

Quill thought for a moment, imagining what it would be like to have a mare in a stallion’s body. It would definitely make some things easier—and that makeup basically made him a mare. He even had the body for it. If anything, he was a mare with a dick. She considered her options one last time before looking at him as he waited patiently in the doorway. She realized he didn’t have a confident look on his face, like she imagined he did. Instead, he looked dead serious and slightly hopeful. It caught her off guard, and when she didn’t speak, he did.

“If you want me to leave, I’ll go,” he said in his normal voice, a kind concern in laced in his tone.

She stared at him for a moment longer before turning away with a grimace.

Nothing else was said.

The door was shut.

Tears fell.