Lily and somepony else

by Hyper44

Rating: everyone
Tags: Other, Slice of Life, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic
Length: 8304

A young Lily Longsocks decided that she wants to be somepony else, anypony else.

This is the story about a preschool Lily Longsocks, (the pony with the "creepy" super strength from season five) and her journey to become somepony else. A tragedy combined with the constant feeling of being small and clumsy causes her to decide that she needs to be somepony other than Lily.
This characterization of Lily is a sort of prequel to How Lily got her Creepy super Strength so she doesn't have her strength yet. She is just a young filly finding her way.
This is also a story based off of someone that I know... me. when I was a young kid I had a really hard time fitting in. (Sometimes I still do). Especially at school. So, to cope with it I would often try to become someone else that I admired or that I thought had it all together (real or fictional). I would try to copy everything from their looks to their way of thinking and mannerisms. If i was like them, then I wouldn't have the problems that I did, like fitting in. I especially did so when I had to deal with other troubles that come in life like bullying or being rejected by would be friends. It not only felt as if it removed me from the problem but it also also felt as if it removed me from what I didn't like about myself.
This wasn't a long episode in my life and I was pretty young but there were things that I learned from it which I have never forgotten and never will.

Published 2017-02-28 05:30:01 UTC
Last updated 2017-03-07 15:17:00 UTC

Chapter 1

They were gone and it hurt. Most thought that Lily Longsocks was too young to understand but she did. She understood that they were gone, buried and not coming back. As she stood in the quite living room the sun shone so brilliantly outside that it glared though the thin curtains to clearly illuminate the dust motes swirling in the air. It was the type of sunshine that beckoned you outside like the call of a long-lost friend. Lily sighed, never taking her eyes off the picture that took the place of honor on the center of the mantle. The eyes of two ponies stared back from a frozen moment in time that was now protected behind glass. The sudden creek of the front door opening startled her. She spun around to see her mother walk into the house.

“Lily? What are you doing in here? It’s a beautiful warm day and after all that cold weather I would think that you would stop at nothing to get outside.” Her mother, Chrysanthemum Longsocks stated.

Lily pointed back at the picture above the fireplace. “Can’t see Gramgram and Pawpaw outside.”

“Oh, Lily,” Chrysanthemum sighed as she swept Lily up in her hooves. “I know that the accident took them away so suddenly but a young filly should not be in here dwelling on it. She should be outside carefree and playing.” As she spoke Chrysanthemum carried her little filly outside. She put her on the porch and nudged her away from the house. “You’re a strong and resilient little filly and look at this nice day. Just think, in a few years we may be moving down south where the warm weather lasts longer. We’ll even pick a nice little town like this one so you can grow up in the open air like here, just warmer. So go on and play and just think that soon enough you have so many warm days to play outside.” With that Chrysanthemum trotted back inside and soon Lily could hear the familiar click of her mother’s crochet needles as she worked on whatever new order she had to fill. Lily sat down on the small little porch in front of the small little house as she decided what to do. It was a beautiful day and the warm sun should have felt nice but she could find no joy in it. After a moment, her ears perked up as she heard faint sound that was growing louder.

Swish, swish, Swish, swish.

Soon her older brother Aspen came walking around the corner of the house. In his mouth he held a scythe that he was using to cut the grass. Like always, the green blades had sprung up with a vengeance after all that cold weather. Aspen swung his head back and forth with ease as he neatly cut the grass into low even lengths. His cutie mark stood out against his light blue coat. It was a well-tailored hat that almost didn’t look as good as some of the ones he could create. He could make a hat for anypony and from ones fitted for coal miners and rowdy cowponies to the fine designs of high society they all matched the personality of their wearer perfectly. There was nopony in existence that he could not impress.

Lily slumped down on the porch as she watched him. Although he was the typical big brother sometimes she couldn’t help but admire him. He was still a colt but he already knew his destiny, he had already made his mark in the world while she didn’t seem to be good at anything at all. He wasn’t a misfit at school, he wasn’t a blank flank. He didn’t have four tiny clumsy hooves that he was always tripping over or a coat so common and plain. He also was enjoying the sunny day and had not stayed sad like she had. How she wished that she could be him instead of Lily. If she was somepony else her pain would go away. Lily watched Aspen for a while then got up. She scampered off the porch and searched until she found a good sized stick. Clutching it in her teeth she followed after her brother while she swung the stick from side to side. She worked on picking up his rhythm as she tried matching him every step and mimicking his posture. Aspen ignored her for a while before finally dropping the scythe and looking over his shoulder.

“Lily, what are you doing?” He asked with a touch of annoyance in his voice.

“Cut grass like you,” She replied dropping the stick in the same manner as her brother.

“Why? I’m doing fine cutting the grass and that stick is not going to help at all,” Aspen responded.

Lily pointed at herself. “So I be you.”

Aspen laughed. “You’re going to be me? How are you going to do that? Mimicking everything that I do won’t make you into me,” Aspen looked around making sure that nopony was watching, “And that will really cramp my style.”

Lily thought a moment, tapping her chin with a small hoof as she pondered the question in her young mind. She looked at her brother’s blue coat and then at her pink little hoof. “I paint my coat,” she said finally.

“I think you mean dye your coat,” Aspen responded, “And even if you dye it blue it would still be pink underneath. Why do you want to be me anyways?”

Lily tapped her chest. “So it no hurt no more.”

“Woah, are you sick?” Aspen asked peering closer to see if she was turning paler.

Lily shook her head. She pointed back towards the house where a picture stood above the fireplace. “Gramgram and Papaw.”

“Oh,” Aspen said. He sighed and knelt down. “Lily, you can dye your mane and coat then act like me but you will still always be Lily. Even if you could, though it would not matter. Whit things like that there is nothing that you can change on the outside that will make you feel better on the inside. You have to start on the inside. Ok?”

Lily just blinked up at him as she chewed on a hoof. Aspen couldn’t tell from her big, childish eyes if she understood any of what he said. Aspen sighed. He was never sure about how to deal this kind of thing. He motioned with a hoof towards the house. “Columbine is sitting by the pond out back knitting a tapestry or something. She might need your help.”

Lily promptly hopped up and scampered away.

“Phew,” Said Aspen as he went back to cutting grass. “Columbine should be able to handle it.”

Author's Note

For those of you who do not like long waits for the next chapter this story is petty much done. I'm still going through and editing and doing small rewrites but I should be able to uplode daily at best to every couple days at worst.

Chapter 2

Lily trotted around the small house and soon spotted her sister sitting on the small wooden bench next to the pond. Columbine, a young mare with a magenta coat and a maroon mane was humming to herself as she skillfully wove threads into an image. Her cutie mark was an unfurling tapestry of vibrant colors etched in the image of a blue and gold butterfly. As Columbine shifted the wings of the butterfly changed slightly with the light creating the illusion that its wings were moving. It was specular cutie mark that left no doubt of her talent. While their mom could speedily create hardy and useful clothing, Columbine would take great periods of time to create beautiful images for wall hangings. It made Lily look at her own blank flank and wonder if her cutie mark would be so nice. She didn’t think so.

Lily slowly approached the cloth that her sister was working on. It was the image of a blue jay spreading his wings. The blues were more vibrant than they were on any jay that Lily had ever seen and when one looked at its reflection in the pond it seemed as if the bird would fly out of the fabric at any moment. Any other day Lily would have danced with delight on the edge of the pond almost expecting the bird to burst out of the water. Today she could not. Her tiny little body felt too heavy for dancing and the beautiful reflection could not inspire her.

“What’s wrong Lily?” Columbine called when she noticed her little sister sitting by the pond.

Lily pointed at the house to where the picture would still be sitting on the mantle. “Gramgram and Pawpaw,” She stated simply.

“Ah!” her sister replied. “Well come up here and sit by me,” Columbine patted the spot next to her. “We can keep each other company and maybe you’ll start to feel better.”

Lily clambered up on the bench and settled down to watch the needle skillfully weave threads together. It amazed the young filly that the newly woven fabric could look like such a mess for a while but it would suddenly become part of the picture when she pulled on the thread. Slowly, piece by piece, thread by thread the image came together like magic. If only she could be like her sister. Not only would she be happy but she could create beautiful images with thread. Her sister had the best talent in the world from Lily’s view and she would give up all her toys to be just like her.

At her sister’s feet was a box of thread spools and discarded squares of cloth. Lily picked it up and began rummaging through it.

“Careful,” her sister said quickly, “There’s needles in there.”

Lily pulled out the scraps and a shiny blue spool and announced, “I sew.”

“Perhaps when you a little older,” Columbine replied. “These needles are sharp.”

“I sew!” Lily stated again stubbornly.

“Aright,” Columbine sighed as she threaded the needle for her little sister. She had a hard enough time saying no to her and she just couldn’t with Lily still feeling the pain of losing their grandparents. It wasn’t like they didn’t but Lily was more sensitive.

‘Alright, hold it carefully, no… careful! Watch the tip! No, weave like this… but watch for you other hoof. Oh, carful. Remember that it’s sharp.” Columbine’s worrying soon faded as she saw that the little filly seemed to instinctually know how to handle the sharp point. Not once did she hurt herself as she worked at the scraps fabric. Columbine set aside her tapestry to watch her sister make her own creation. Lily’s face was scrunched up with concentration as she worked. Her tongue stuck out from the side of her mouth and her eyes never left the cloth. The little pieces of fabric were turned this way and that as she designed her creation. Bit by bit it came together and thread wove throughout the piece. Sections of cloth was threaded together and the needle moved in various patterns. Columbine watched with interest as she tried to figure out what Lily was making. At the moment, that was something that only the little filly knew. After fifteen minutes of work Lily held up her creation and announced, “Bird!”

“Oh, that’s a nice looking bird,” Columbine said as she looked at the jumbled mess of cloth and thread.

Lily eyed her cloth bird and then looked at her sister’s bird. They were nothing alike. Remembering how her sister had pulled thread together to finish a section Lily tugged on all of the loose thread ends. The fabric that barely resembled a bird scrunched up into a tight, lumpy ball. Lily’s tiny shoulders slumped and she frowned at the cloth.

Columbine ruffled her mane. “Don’t worry. It’s only your first try.”

“I can’t make bird like yours,” Lily grumbled as she pointed her sister’s work and threw her own on the ground. “I want be you.”

“You want to be like me?” Columbine asked. “It’s still only your first try. Besides you might be a hat maker like our brother or a clothing knitter like mom.”

“But I want make pretty things.” Lily stated as she looked longingly at her sister’s work.

“It looks amazing doesn’t it?” Columbine asked staring down at the fabric. Lily nodded. “Well guess what,” Columbine continued dropping her voice to a whisper as if imparting a great secret. “These tapestries may look amazing but their useless when trouble comes. When the freezing wind blows and winter sets in a cold pony would trade ten of these for one set of clothing that mom makes.”

Lily chewed on her hoof as she contemplated that thought.

“Every job is very important,” Columbine continued giving Lily a hug. “You go on and play. You should not be worrying about cutie marks and such things yet. Your too young for that. Right now you should just be enjoying the joy that comes with being a kid.”

Lily hopped down and headed back towards the front yard as she pondered what her sister had said. She thought that it made sense but it didn’t help her. She didn’t any feel better and she was still Lily. She didn’t feel like playing until she could be somepony other than clumsy, plain Lily.

Aspen had finished with most of the yard and was now working on the fringes. Lily sat down next to the porch as she watched him and pondered just what she could do. Soon the sound of laughter reached her ears. Lily crouched and peaked around the steps as she peered at the dirt path running past her house. Two fillies that Lily recognized were trotting down it and heading towards the nearby town. They were a few years older than her and from the group of fancy homes that were at the other end of the road. Anypony who lived down there was from a well to do family though all the ponies in the area went to the same school. Lily crept out from behind the porch and watched them as they trotted lightly down the dirt path. As always they were so cool and confident. With each step their hooves came up and down with perfect poise as if they had practiced it from the day they had learned to walk. Their tails swayed back and forth as they strode and the curls of their manes bobbed with their stride. Heads were held high and knees always bent at perfect right angles with step.

Walking to the end of the road after they passed, Lily sat down and watched their retreating figures. She glanced at her brother who had his back turned to her, then back at her schoolmates. Maybe she couldn’t be a specific pony but she could be one of them. She hopped up and followed after the fillies. With each step the little foal focused hard as she tried move exactly like the older fillies.

Author's Note

If you see a typo please point it out but with Lily's speech those aren't typos. She's a young preschool pony who is still learning to talk properly.

Chapter 3

With perfect poise the two fillies from up the road neared the little town of Whinny’s-Dale. With strong determination Lily followed after them. Her legs were beginning to ache from struggling trying to mime the perfect trotting strides of the ponies up ahead but she pressed on. She had tripped over her clumsy hooves many times and had dirt stains on her coat to prove it. Still she kept on.

As the two fillies walked into town a few ponies waived to them. Then they turned curious looks to the smaller foal prancing serval yards behind. Lily hardly noticed through her focus on keeping the same perfect stride. However, her two role models, who in keeping the perfect poise, hadn’t really looked around soon noticed the eyes staring at something behind them. They stopped and looked back to see Lily coming towards them still mimicking their poise and stride. She wasn’t doing too bad a job either though it was obviously not her natural stride.

“Awww, look. It’s the little filly from the Longsocks family,” One of them said.

“Yeah, I know her. Her dad sometimes brings her along when my dad hires him for a custom suit,” Her companion replied. “She’s a silly little pony. I wonder what’s she doing?” She giggled.

“Let’s find out. Hey Lily,” The first foal called. Lily quickened her pace, while still trying to keep up the same poise and hurried over to them.

The foals giggled as she pranced up and sat down in the road. “I didn’t know that your parents let you come up here by yourself. What are you doing?”

Lily poked self-consciously at the dust, “I want be like you.”

“Awww,” The two fillies responded.

“That’s so awesome.”

“You know what they say, mimicry is the sincerest form of flattery.”

“Well come on, Lily, we can teach you how,” One of the foals beckoned her to follow and together the three fillies walked through town. As they went the two older fillies instructed her on how to walk with style and praised her for her efforts. Lily was picking it up rather quickly. By the time they reached their destination, the local bakery, Lily almost looked as if she had been one of them for a long while.

Her two new friends led her inside the bakery and headed for a table by the window that had three other fillies sitting at it.

“Hey girls, look we brought a new friend,” one of them announced as they sat at the table. “She wants to be just like us.”

Lily blushed as a chorus of “Awww,” echoed back.

“That’s cute.”

“I think it’s awesome!”

“Good for her!”

“She almost has the walk down.”

“She’s going to need some makeup.”

“We’ll have to teach her how to put it on.”

“And we have to fix up her hair.”

“How about braids,”

“I like curls better.”

“I think that she would look better with braids.”

“Well what does Lily want?”

Lily shrugged and replied, “Both?” The five fillies laughed at her answer.

Soon one of the bakers brought a tray of cookies and glasses of milk to their table. Lily sat happily munching on her cookie and sipping the milk with contentment. She had finally done it. She was somepony else now. Once they fixed her up she would truly be one of them. She already was of them and she wouldn’t be sad anymore. How could she? She wouldn’t be plain, clumsy little Lily anymore, the young mare thought as she picked up her glass of milk. Then she accidently spilled half of it on the floor. Lily frowned at the mess. Maybe it was because she hadn’t been fixed up with makeup and stuff.

After the snack the group of fillies sat outside the bakery as they fussed over Lily’s hair and dug in their little purses for ruse and blush. The two working on her hair tried many different types of braids, curling and buns. Lily wasn’t much help because she stated that she like everything regardless of the style that they put her mane in. She really didn’t care as long as she was one of them.

Across the street Lily spotted one of her classmates walking up to a shop with his mom. He sat down outside to wait as she went in.

“Hi Mulberry,” Lilly called as she waived to him. “I not be Lily anymore.” Mulberry’s face scrunched up as he tried to process what she had just said. Instead of coming over he just sat next to the store and stared as her new friends tried different hair styles and oohed and awed over each look.

“Hew don’t forget we have to go try on our new dresses today.” One of the fillies stated suddenly.

“Oh, yeah. That’s why we came to town in the first place. If we don’t make sure that they fit right today, they might not be ready in time for Red Bloom’s birthday party.”

“We have an excuse for getting distracted though,” One filly said ruffling Lily’s newly braided hair.

“We’ll be back later, Lily,” They called as they headed off to pick up their order. Lily waived back as they headed off. After they were gone Lily hopped off the bench and trotted across the street to where Mulberry was sitting. She sat proudly showing off her makeup and braided mane. “See, I be somepony else,” she stated.

Mulberry blinked at her a few moments. “How you do that?” He finally asked.

“I be one of them,” Lily replied and pointed in the direction that they had gone. “I learn to put on makeup and fix hair, they teach me how to walk and talk like them cause’ I’m them now and not Lily.” She paraded back and forth in front of him in her new style of walking.

Mulberry closed his eyes a moment as he pondered this. Then he opened then with a confused expression on his face. “But how do those things make you them? It’s just stuff on you.”

Lily scratched her head, shrugged and then headed back to the bench. She looked at her reflection in a pocket mirror that one of the fillies had left for her. She saw a face fixed up just like them and never like it was when she was Lily. She could walk like them, talk like them, she felt like one of them and she did not want to be that plain clumsy little Lily. She didn’t know how it all worked but she was not Lily anymore. She reached over to the plate of cookies left but clumsily fumbled with it and it fell to the ground. She stared down at the scattered sweets pondering how that had happened for a while. After all, she wasn’t Lily any more. Then as she sat there, she began to feel the warmth of the sun on her back and head. For a moment her mind took her back to sitting on the little porch in front of her house where she could feel the rays of the sun but could find no joy because of the sadness inside. Lily looked back at the mirror. Her makeup covered face was like the sun shining down on her. It was there, but it didn’t fix it. She had simply been distracted by it all else. Lily glanced down at the plate of cookies laying on the ground. With a sigh she hopped to the ground and trotted off down the street.

She didn’t know where she was going but she was headed there. She found a barrel of rainwater at the corner of a house and washed her face off in it. She pulled and ruffled all the braids out of her mane and her hair fell in a mess around her face. Then she continued on walking aimlessly as she pondered what to do next. She walked around a few blocks still with no idea where she was going when her ears twitched at the sound of a gathering crowd up ahead. A moment later a few ponies hurried past her. Lily lifted her head slightly but building blocked her view. A few more ponies galloped past her as one called out to the mare in the lead.

“I hope that this isn’t just a waste of time.”

“it isn’t,” the mare called back, “He can help you become the toughest, coolest pony that you’ve ever dreamed of becoming.”

Lily’s ears stood up straight as she watched the receding figures. A moment later she was galloping after them towards the murmur of the crowd.

Chapter 4

After rounding a few corners Lily found herself stepping out into the town’s main square. A fair numbers of ponies were gathered and looking in the direction of a makeshift stage. To one side of the square was a small both where a goat was handing out hats to the fillies and colts. Each hat had two gray horns sticking out on either side and a name written on the back, though Lily couldn’t read yet.

She couldn’t see over the heads of all the adult ponies watching the stage so she found a stack of hay bales at the back and clambered up. Sitting down she gazed at the stage and waited with the crowds for whoever was supposed to appear. It didn’t take long before the curtain was swept aside and a minotaur stepped out onto the stage.

“So! All you little ponies want Iron Will to teach you how to be a lean, mean, tough assertive machine!?” Ponies cheered in response. “Do you ponies think you have what it takes?! If not Iron Will will soon make you believeeee! By the time this seminar you will be the toughest, roughest ponies aaaaround! Iron Will is the best mentor in all of Equestria and soon you doormats will be pushovers no moooore! For Iron Will is my name and training ponies is my game!”

“Do we get a guarantee?” A voice piped up from the audience.

Iron Will snorted and glowered down at the pony. “You dare question Iron Will?”

The stallion backed up but still managed to stutter out, “W-well, we’ll be p-paying good money for it so how do we know for sure that your methods will work?”

“So you want a guarantee?!” Iron Will snorted, “How about this; if you’re not satisfied you pay nothing! Iron Will can change any doormat into rough and tough assertive pony! There is no pony that Iron Will will fail to change and don’t dare to doubt my word!” He glared down at the stallion who had spoken up, “If you laugh in my face, then it's time to erase! Iron Will’s techniques will change anypony, ANYPONY big or smaaaall!”

That was all Lily needed to hear. She had failed to change herself but he promised that he could help her do it. She also knew what she wanted to be and that was whatever he was. She hopped down the hay bales and scampered to the booth as iron Will got the crowd to chant, "When somepony tries to block, show them that you rock!"

When she reached the booth the goat tossed her a hat which she hurriedly put it on before scampering around the crowd as she headed for the stage steps.

“Remember, never apologize, when you can criticize!" Iron Will bellowed out as the little pink pony trotted up on stage and puffed up trying to look as tough as she could. Iron Will turned and scowled at the intruder on his stage as he stepped in front of her, blocking her path. “Hey, Kid! What do you think you’re doing up here?

Lily stood up on her back hooves, looked the minotaur in the eyes, squared her shoulders and yelled back, “ROOOAAAR! When some pony tries block, you show them you rock!”

“Oh-ho! You see everypony!” Iron Will called as he looked back at the crowd, “Iron Will can turn anypony into a lean, mean assertive machine!” The crowd cheered in response.

“Ah-ha, she already knows Iron Will’s next lesson, Don't be shy, look 'em in the eye."

“Don’t be shy, look um’ in da’ eye!” Lily mimicked.

“Cut in line, I'll take what's mine!"

“Cut in line, I takes what mine!”

"You make me lose, I blow my fuse!"

“You make me lose, I blows up fuse!”

“Make an advertisement of my daughter and you’ll be fodder.” A new voice interjected. Everyone turned to see a stout looking stallion walking up onto stage. He had a dark brown coat and jet black mane.

“Who do you think you are walking up on my stage?!” Iron Will demanded glaring at the pony.

The stallion didn’t blink “I am Rowan and this is my daughter,” He stated as he swept Lily up and placed her on his back between two saddlebags. “I’ll be taking her with me now, good day.” He nodded curtly and turned around.

“Do you not want to stay for Iron Will’s seminar? Already your daughter has learned to be assertive despite being so puny. Just think of what I could do for you.”

Rowan paused and glanced back over his shoulder, “Minotaur needs a child to sell his speech, he’s not fit to teach.” With that he turned and trotted around the corner with a slack jawed Iron Will and the crowd staring after him.

Chapter 5

Rowan Longsocks walked through the town silently for several blocks with this youngest child sitting on his back. Lily was silent as well with the minotaur hat still on her head while she sat up as tall as she could hoping that passing ponies saw a little minotaur and not a little pony.

“Lily what are you doing in town by yourself?” Her father finally asked. “You know better than that.”

“I followed the uptown fillies here to be like them but didn’t work so I tried to be… what he was.” Lily pointed back in the direction of the stage.

“Ok, back up a bit, why did you try to be like them and then a minotaur?”

“Because it better for me,” Lily explained. “I don’t want to be Lily anymore. I clumsy an’… don’t like it! And it hurt,” Lily touched her hoof over her heart, “With no more Gramgram and Pawpaw. Aspen an’ col’bine not sad no more but I am. I can’t be them so I be somepony else and it not hurt no more and I no more be clumsy and stuff. I see the uptown fillies and tried to be them and they help. They make my hair all nice and show me how to put on makeup and stuff but then they went to get dresses and it no work. So I find Mr. Will and I be like him and not Lily.”

Rowan walked on listening until she had finished her story. “Lily,” He said with a sigh, “Those fillies had no real intention of helping you. They accepted you in because it made them feel important and mature. It was simply about how they felt about themselves, not helping you. As for Iron Will, the last thing you need to be is like that bully.”

Lily chewed on her mane as she thought about it and finally asked, “Why?”

“Because plenty of ponies have no problem using others to make themselves look good and because nopony needs to be a bully.” Rowan explained. “And most importantly becoming another pony won’t help you with Gramgram and Pawpaw.

“But I hear you tell Aspen about being a different pony when you was young,” Lily replied crossing her hooves. “You said it, you changed.”

Rowan sighed. “Lily that was different.”

“Why,” Lily asked.

“Because I changed things about myself that were not good but I didn’t change me, Rowan,” Her father stated pointing to himself. “When I wasn’t much older than what Aspen’s is now I used to sleep all day and party all night. I never worked, that was for lame ponies. I shunned any idea of commitment as if it was more frightening than Nightmare Moon. I decided that that was what I was and I loved it. If I was going to be anything else I was going to be a rock star and that was it. Then there came a moment when I realized that one unpredictable day it would all come to an end and I would have nothing to show for my life, nothing but skills of being a freeloader. My lack of success was no pony’s fault but my own. I would have spent my life chasing glittering things just out of reach and not realizing the good things that were before me. All the talents that I had or skills that I could get would never be achieved. I also realized that committing to a family life, while much more work and sacrifice is far more rewarding than anything that I chased before. Sometimes we have to change things about us that aren’t good for us or so we can achieve better things but that isn’t the same as completely changing who we are. These are two different things. Do you understand?”

“Why?” Lily asked. “I don’t want to be Lily and you change you.”

Rowan moaned and rubbed his forehead with a hoof. “I changed Rowan but I did not stop being Rowan. Not being Lily will not make you better.”

“Why? Lily hurts and if I not Lily I won’t hurt.”

Rowan swept her off his back and hugged her. “Because you can’t stop being Lily. Things just don’t work that way.”

“But why?!” Lily demanded.

Rowan sighed, “I don’t know. I supposed because if it did, nopony would ever truly be anything.”

“I no be Lily!!” Lily stated crossing her hooves and closing her eyes.

Rowan shook his head and hugged Lily tightly again. “You’ve always been a very determined pony once you decided on something but that can backfire sometimes.” He placed Lily back on his back and trotted into a building. It had a sign hanging over the door picturing a pony posing in a stately looking suit. Rowan nodded to a mare sitting a desk.

“Your next client is waiting on you,” She said nodding towards a door on the right.

“I’ll be there shortly,” Rowan replied heading to a room on the left. Inside were rolls of fabric, buckets of cufflinks measuring tapes and other various equipment for building suits.

Rowan sat Lily in the chair next to a work desk. “Wait in here until I’m done and I’ll take you home after work, ok?” Lily nodded and started playing with a pile of cufflinks that was on the desk. “And perhaps you can consider that just being Lily isn’t such a bad thing,” Rowan added as he reached the door.

“Uh-uh!” Said Lily. Rowan sighed and closed the door behind him. After he had gone Lily reached up and touched the minotaur hat that was still on her head. Why couldn’t her father understand?

Lily looked across the room at a tall mirror and looked at the eyes of the little pink filly staring back at her from underneath the hat. She hopped down from the chair and walked closer to the mirror. It wasn’t good enough. She scampered across the room to a small fireplace. It was still filled with the ashes from the fires that kept the room warm throughout the cold months. Lily took the coal shovel and battered ashes left and right to ensure that there were no live embers lingering beanth. Satisfied that she would not be burned Lily began rolling in the ash and rubbing it into her fur until she was grey from tail to nose. After a fit of sneezing she hurried back to the mirror and stood on her hind legs in front of it. Before her she saw a little minotaur properly covered in grey and glaring fiercely. Then after a moment a strutting around in front of her reflection she began to notice the same blue eyes staring back at her. She blinked at her image for a while. It wasn’t quite what she wanted. Her forehooves didn’t look like Ironwill’s. Her mane and tail didn’t fit and she even considered finding something to cut them with, but no, it still wouldn’t be quite right. It was just a filly covered in ash and wearing a hat. She took the hat off and hurled it at the mirror. Then she shook herself sending a cloud of ash into the air. She retreated from the spot sneezing and opened a window. Miserably she laid her head on the windowsill and stared out at the neighboring building. She could see ponies sitting at outdoor dining tables and enjoying the good weather. Lily glared up at the sun wishing that it would quit shining for a while. She hated it when she could feel it’s warmth but yet it did nothing to warm her feelings on the inside. Wiping a dirty hoof across her eyes Lily stared out the window as she thought about her grandparents. Soon she hardly noticed the ponies at the restaurant as memories played out and she pondered if she could be a minotaur as well as if it would really help.

Lily didn’t know how long she had sat there when a sudden swift movement snapped her out of her dream. She tipped her head back to catch sight of the yellow streak. It was a pegasus mare who circled around before landing at the table furthest from other ponies. She looked up at the sky through blue tinted shades. “Hurry up recruits!” She yelled upwards.

Two more mares landed on the ground. One of them turned around and called back, “Hurry up Clipper! Try not to hit the building on your way down!”

“Awww! Come on guys, it’s not like I clip the flagpole every time I land.” A stallion complained as he landed.

“No whining newbie!” The yellow mare stated. “Form ranks!” The three ponies quickly stood in a neat row. “Now this may technically be a vacation but I want to see you all on your best behavior, understood?”

“Yes ma’am!” all three replied in unison.

“I will not stand to be embarrassed by silly behavior by anypony. You must remember that you are a Wonder Bolt at all times, is that clear?!”

“Yes ma’am!”

Lily still sat with her chin on the windowsill watching the four ponies with mild interest. She didn’t know who they were and didn’t have much reason to care. It was pretty cool to watch them fly in but she couldn’t bring herself to smile right now. She needed to be somepony else and it just wasn’t working. Too bad she didn’t have a pair of wings so she could just fly away from it all. Lily suddenly sat upright at that thought. She glanced at their wings again and then quickly climbed out the window. She was running the second her hooves hit the ground. With no hesitation Lily took the place next to the closest pony and stood stiffly at attention like the others.

Spitfire stopped her lecture and peered over he shades at the filly. “Kid, what are you doing?”

Lily responded with the same words as the others, after all it seemed to make this mare happy, “Yes ma’am!”

Snorts and badly suppressed laughs came from the other ponies. Spitfire silenced them with a glare the turned back to Lily. “That doesn’t answer my question, what are you doing?”

“I get wings and fly away.” Lily stated matter-of-factly.

“I see, but I can’t give you wings. Do you want to be a Wonder Bolt someday?”

Lily shook her head. “No, I want wings so I can fly away. I fly away from here and then I won’t feel bad no more.”

Spitfire scratched her chin and thought for a moment, “So you have some issue that’s making you feel bad so you want to fly away?” Lily nodded. “Can you tell me about this problem?”

“Gramgram and Pawpaw gone and Lily feel bad,” She stated pointing to herself, “Other’s don’t feel bad anymore so Lily not be Lily anymore but it no work. If I fly away, I no have to feel bad anymore so I need wings.”

Spitfire took a moment to process her jumbled explanation to ensure that she knew what the little filly meant. “So your grandparents are gone and it still hurts because… you are Lily?” Lily nodded “To solve this problem, you want to become some other pony but that’s not working. So then to solve this new problem you’re going to fly away? Do I understand that right?”

Lily paused and mulled over her words for a moment to make sure that she knew that this adult meant. “Yes,” Lily finally stated.

Spitfire took her shades off so she could look the little filly in the eyes. “Look kid, I don’t know much about children so I’m just going to tell it to you straight, ok?” Lily nodded again. “You’re going about everything the wrong way. While I am sure that there is some spell out there that can give you wings, it will still do you no good. While there are times to make a tactical retreat you simply can’t just choose to run away or fly away from problems. Especially if that problem is something on the inside. In that case it will come with you no matter where you go. Regardless, if you make a habit of running from problems, you will always be running. You also can’t deal with a problem simply by becoming somepony else. The only way for Lily to feel better is to deal with it as Lily. Do you understand?”

Lily shook her head stubbornly. She may not have understood everything that Spitfire said but she knew when she was being told no. “I want to fly away.”

Spitfire sighed, “Well if that’s the way you want to be then. Come on kid, let’s take you back to your parents. You can’t be running around here alone.” With that she escorted the stubborn filly back to the building.
“But I want wings.” Lily complained as they walked.

“I can’t give you wings.”

“Why?”

“Because I can’t.”

“But, why can’t you?”

“Ugg!”

Chapter 6

As the sun drew nearer to the horizon Rowan trotted home with Lily perched between his saddlebags. The stubborn Filly had her forelimbs crossed, her head to one side and her eyes tightly shut. Rising and falling hooves kicked dust into the air as one exasperated father made his way down the road. He wanted to try just one more time to reason with her but attempt after attempt had failed. Her innate stubbornness was both a quality and a fault and continuing the debate would only make it worse. Soon their house came into sight. Freshly cut grass waived in the breeze and a newly made tapestry hung beside the door. As the wind blew it shifted in the breeze almost creating the illusion that the bird was flying. When they reached the yard, Lily hopped off her father’s back and scampered off to find some hiding place. Rowan sighed and headed inside.

The rose bushes near the pond had been too well trimmed for a good hiding spot so she took off into the grassy field that bordered their property. The little mare quickly vanished into the tall weeds. Lily roamed deep into the field before plopping down with the decision to stay out there forever. It was the perfect place; she could hide from everything, forever.

For a while she did lay there listening to the wind stir the grass and watching bugs trundle in and out of sight. The moving sun filtered through the waiving stalks creating a golden hue. She didn’t think about much, she just let her mind rest. Then forever was cut short by the realization that she was getting hungry. She didn’t want to go back home and hear more of the same so instead she began shuffling through the field looking for some edible plant.

After a while it became clear that she wasn’t going to find anything. There was nothing in her hiding place except long dead grass. Quietly she began sneaking though the grass until she could peer through the stalks at her back yard. For a moment she thought that it was empty but the she spotted her mom humming to herself as she counted the little shoots of tulips that were springing from the earth and checking on the little buds that were starting to grow in the hedges. Lily watched her awhile, then she whimpered and slipped out of the grass. With her head low and her tail dragging the ground he plodded towards her mother She sat down next to her and snuggled against her side. Chrysanthemum kept humming as she wrapped a forelimb around her daughter’s shoulders. For a while there was nothing but the sound of her mom humming and the unexplainable comfort that only she could give.

“I’ve heard that you’ve had quite a day today.” Chrysanthemum said after a while. Lily just shrugged. “Aspen said that you wanted to be him and then Columbine said that you wanted to be her.” She continued as she braided her daughter’s hair. “Now your dad said that went to town trying to be like a group of ponies and then a minotaur. After that you tried to join the Wonderbolts and fly away. Is that right?” Lily nodded as she stared down at her hooves.

“I see,” her mom continued. “Your still sad so you decided to become somepony who wasn’t sad. When that didn’t work you got even more upset.” Lily nodded again with tears welling up in her eyes.

“Well, you know what Lily?” Her mom asked. Lily shook her head. “Others ponies get sad too. Aspen, Columbine, those ponies from down the road and even minotaurs. They just don’t always show it. Or their sad at times when Lily is happy.” Lily scratched her mane as she processed this in her mind. “Sometimes we will run into bad feelings that seem so unfair and impossible to ever be overcome but the fight is always worth it.”

Lily closed her eyes a moment to ponder this. All she could think of though was the present where sadness had settled inside her and not feeling happy in her own skin.

“Gramgram and Pawpaw loved Lily and would be sad to see her go.” Chrysanthemum said.

Lily just stared down at the dirt and the tiny green shoots before her. “Being Lily is being clumsy, plain and.. stuff.” She said.

“Do you see this tulip?” Her mother stated pointing at one shoot that was smaller than the rest. “Right now it’s just a tiny green leaf sticking out of the ground. It will get taller and taller until one day it will have a blossom on it. Even then it will keep growing and one day the bloom will open up into a flower. Now if it wasn’t the way I wanted it, say it was different from other tulips. I could paint it or try to mold the leaves into a different sort of flower but it would never be what it could as a tulip. Even if it’s a tulip that doesn’t quite fit in with the others.” Lily stared had at the tiny little bits of green poking out of the soil as she scratched her chin trying to comprehend.

“It’s not something for you to worry about now,” Chrysanthemum stated as she began rummaging through a bag at her side. “Would you like to do something that would make me and Gramgram and Pawpaw happy?”

Lily jumped to her feet and nodded enthusiastically. Then her face turned to confusion as her mom handed her plant bulb. “What is it?” she asked holding it loosely.

“It’s a lily,” Chrysanthemum replied. “Plant it and take care of it as best as you possibly can and see that it grows into the best lily that it can possible be. That will make us very happy.”

Without questions Lily took off, carrying the bulb carefully as she searched for a good place to plant it. Her mom sat back and watched her. “The best Lily that you possibly can. It's important for both you and others. Then perhaps one day you will realize just how wonderful Lily is and learn to love yourself,” She whispered.

Chapter 7

The sun began rising above the horizon to shine its light over a small garden next to a small house. As birdsong rang through the air flowers bobbed in the breeze. Hedges were covered in tiny blossoms. Irises of many hues swayed with their delicate petals seeming to dance. In the center tulips stretched towards the sky. One stood out kind of awkwardly with oddly shaped petals and it’s hue a little off but it grew towards the sun all the same.

Near the tulips a single lily plant was growing. Any weed that had dared grow nearby had long since been removed. A ring of decorative stones surrounded it and not a single sickly leaf had been left attached to the plant. At the top a beautiful blossom hung. The petals were cracked allowing daylight through revealing that soon the flower would open.

From the house a door slammed and Lily bolted outside with a watering can in her jaws. She raced through the garden causing the other flowers to sway in her wake. She skidded to a stop next to the lily and set down the watering can. She checked the dampness of the soil and then added some water around the base. Then she settled down next to the plant to wait for the flower to open. When it opened she could see if she had completed her mission and grown the flower into the best lily that it could possibly be. The sun continued to shine down as she waited and Lily smiled happily as she felt the warmth on her coat and mane.