As he looked out into the crowds, he began to recognize that familiar rush which he’d come to expect just before a job. And this particular job was setting him on edge.
Control your heart rate, spot your target, know your exits, and most importantly…fuck with the royal guards.
These jobs were never difficult, and making a name for him was fully unavoidable. The ponies had given a name to his jobs. “The thief’s sprint,” they called it. Not a hugely creative name but good enough. He chuckled to himself.
Silly ponies, they don’t even seem to care that I’m stealing from them, as long as they’re getting a show.
Still though, this job…was slightly stupid, to say the least. A simple 5-step plan:
1. steal an apple
2. bump into a guard
3. start a fight
4. kiss the princess
5. run like hell
Yup, simple as can be. You can do this, you’re the Thief; you’re the best at what you do.
He quickly dropped into the crowds. Making his way through the crowds of ponies, the thief spotted his ideal target. A small apple cart right on the main pathway up to the castle’s speaking podium. Even for an earth pony, he stood high above other ponies, only the alicorns had a height advantage over him. Wearing a black cloak and keeping his head down was as covert as he could manage without using his “sprint” which had made him so famous. But he had to save that for the show. Reaching the apple cart he waited for the signal to let him know it was time to begin the theatrics.
And as if on cue, a powerful voice rang out over the crowds:
“Attention everypony! Presenting her majesty, Princess Celestia!” An alabaster alicorn stepped out to the podium and began introducing 6 different mares to the crowd, but there’s no time to watch the ceremony.
Let’s have some fun with the nice apple salespony…
He slipped behind her and tapped her side, when she turned to see he had already reappeared on her other side and swiped an apple. He simply stood and waited for the pony to turn her head again before he began to casually toss the apple up in the air and catch it again with his hoof. She finally turned her head and looked at the apple he was playing with.
“Hey, you can’t just take that! That’s two bits!!” The thief smiled at her and cocked his head to the side. Then slowly began backing up. “Wait just a….Wait, Guards guards, there’s a thief here, Hurry!!!” Finally opening his mouth for a retort, the thief replied:
“My my, where are your manners? You should be more apt to feeding the hungry,” and with a laugh he continued, “and I’m famished.”
The thief continued to laugh until he spotted a guard approaching with a stern look on his face. Feigning dizziness, the thief took a few erratic steps to the side and completely crashed into the unsuspecting guardspony, knocking him over into the crowd. The thief rolled over and hopped up with a laugh and brandished the apple against his cloak.
“What the hell do you think you’re doing, trash? You’ve just assaulted a member of the royal guard and are hereby placed under arrest!” The guard was practically fuming at this as more guards flood into the area and surrounded the thief.
“Colts, colts, please…can’t we just talk this out?” The thief laughed and held up his apple and, taking a bite, looked around at the guards surrounding him. He closed his eyes and grinned.
“Alright then, we’ll do it your way. I’ll come quietly, if you can catch me that is,” he looked up at the head guard and smiled.
“Don’t try anything, thief. If you resist, we will use force against you!” At this, the other guards raised their spears at the thief. In the meantime the thief had begun to toss the apple up gently into the air, distracting the guards with the apple.
“Sounds scary, but I have a better idea,” the thief gave one last throw, tossing the apple up high into the air. Then, as soon as the guards had looked at the apple, the thief, disappeared from sight.
“Where the hell did he...” the guard never finished his sentence as a black blur smashed into his chest knocking the air from his chest. The thief glanced back at the other guards, who simply stared in disbelief before he grinned and, in a flash, had disappeared from sight once more. The guards looked around, hunting for the thief. One guard suddenly felt a tapping on his armor, looking over his shoulder he saw the thief leaning on his shoulder. He began wildly swinging his spear, growing increasingly frustrated as the thief effortlessly dodged the swings. The thief was backing up into the crowd, making his way forward along the path. Giving one last leap backwards, the thief bowed to the guards and turned to face his target.
Great, everything’s going perfectly. But…shit’s getting serious now. Not to mention, all the sprinting is wearing me down. The guards are better all the time.
The thief began dashing towards the edge of the crowd, and then quickly hopped up onto a building to ease his travel. As the thief began hopping from building to building, the crowds turned their attention to him. The guards all slowed for a moment, realizing just where the thief was headed. The thief was roof-jumping straight for the castle podium…straight towards Princess Celestia.
Guards began climbing atop the roofs in an effort to slow the thief, but to no avail as the thief hopped back down into the crowd. The thief shouted to guards, “and now for my best trick yet!” Tensing his muscles, the thief began to disappear and reappear constantly, each time gaining distance from the guards and the other ponies. The back of the crowd had turned into a panic while the ponies in the front were too enthralled by the Princess’s event.
Shit, this is getting bad. I don’t have enough energy to make it to the front of the crowd like this. With that, the thief ducked into an alley and hid.
Alright, the ponies are a mess and the guards are scattered. Now time for a little guerrilla fighting.
Hopping back into the crowd, he quickly spotted one guard moving around through the crowd, seemingly lost. A perfect target. He sprinted behind him and quickly brought his hoof down on the back of the guard’s helmet, effectively knocking him unconscious. Using his superior stature, he then peered out above the crowd and spotted two more guards. These guards were inspecting the crowds; looking for the thief no doubt. He quickly sprinted behind them and, hopping up on his hind-hooves, used his fore-hooves to smash their helmets together.
Wow, why do the guards even need armor, it’s really not helping their situation…or preventing them getting their flanks handed to them…hehehe.
Quickly surveying the crowd around him he realized that he was closer to his goal than he had realized. He saw the princess just ahead of him. It was time to spot his treasure. Looking at her form, he couldn’t help but be impressed with the way she carried herself. The elegance of the sun princess was something wonderful to behold, and in the sunlight; her coat had a radiant sparkle to it. And her mane flowed gorgeously in the wind; leading up to her…ears, which were adorned with golden earrings with diamonds encrusted in them. They were…perfect, he had to have one. And he knew exactly how to get it.
The princess paused her speech in order to look into the crowds. It looked like a figure dressed in black had begun moving through the crowds; towards the front where she had been announcing the elements of harmony. The mysterious pony had suddenly stopped and turned his gaze to the princess, his eyes narrowing slightly. She saw him smirk and he then quickly vanished; seemingly into thin air.
Just who could that be… The princess couldn’t finish her thought as her vision was suddenly blocked out by a large pony cloaked in black. Before she could speak the thief put a hoof around her neck, leaned in to her ear and whispered “Excuse me princess, but could you hold still for a moment? I won’t take up too much of your time.”
“Who are yuhhhh…..” the princess’s eyes widened as she felt a strange sensation on her ear. Her heart skipped a beat when she realized that the sensation she felt was the thief’s tongue; caressing her ear. Princess Celestia was beyond words, her eyes fluttered and a quiet moan involuntarily left her lips. She was utterly stunned and could only stare as the thief slowly withdrew. The thief had an arrogant grin on his face and the princess recognized the familiar glint of her priceless diamond earring between his teeth. He gave her one last look before speaking to her once more.
He winked at the princess and gave a mock bow, saying “as you were; your majesty.” He quickly turned and ran along some railing which led to a building. He hopped up on the building and vanished behind it. Guards were in an all-out panic shouting “the princess has been assaulted! Find the assassin!”
“Princess, princess; are you alright??” The princess turned to see her student twilight sparkle looking at her with a concerned face. All the elements had gathered around her and began berating her with questions. After another moment, she managed to reply.
“Oh, yes I’m quite alright, you don’t need to be worried.” More guards continued to pour into the area as the crowds were dispersed. They continued to question the princess, and began to usher her back into the castle. However, before she went inside; she moved her hoof to her ear and looked back to the building that the thief had disappeared behind.
My First post on Fimfic. please R&R. oh, and if you know a good name for a thief; leave it in the comments. I can't decide on one.
Princess Celestia was pacing in her study, as she had been for the past hour. She was completely unable to focus on anything other than what had transpired earlier that day. No matter what she attempted to do in order to distract herself; her thoughts were constantly drifting back to the loss of her earring, the pony who took it and how he took it.
It's completely unthinkable; that some thief, a common scoundrel, would dare to get that close and steal from me. That he would dare to-Her thoughts trailed off as she continued to focus on the sensation she felt on her ear. It was as if she could still feel where he had touched her and as she tried to form a picture of what the thief looked like in her mind; her heart began thump, almost painfully, in her chest.
The princess moved a hoof up to her forehead and massaged just below her horn; the site of where an annoying headache had just started.
It's completely maddening; that a simple thief could be bringing such frustrations to the forefront of my mind. And yet, nopony has ever dared to get that close to me. It's like all the ponies regard me as being untouchable, but he wasn't even slightly fazed. He didn't seem to be at all concerned that he was assaulting and robbing his princess. He-he just didn't care; not even slightly. Although, despite all the bravado, it was a fairly impressive stunt.
She let out a sigh and pushed her hoof into her head harder. The headache she had was now being bolstered by the knowledge that her personal thoughts and feelings were betraying the logical answer to the situation. She should be infuriated, beyond that, even. But the reasonable response was being combated by the emotional response which seemed to originate at her ear; where her earring used to reside.
Celestia groaned. She looked down at her desk and the guard's report on the incident. The thief had effectively been invisible to the crowds. Hundreds of ponies interviewed and there was no consensus on his appearance, save his large stature and black cloak. He simply moved to quickly; when he was still his hood was up and when he moved, he vanished from all sight.
He stole an apple...the princess stared in disbelief at the last line of the report. Really? that's what we know about this pony...he stopped to steal an apple before instigating a fight with a guardspony. This is our best lead.
"Attention all ponies, please be vigilant when tending your fruit stands," the princess muttered sarcastically to herself. She then walked towards the door of her study and called on the guard stationed outside. "Guard, I have an urgent order that needs to be relayed among the attendants at the palace."
"your majesty?"
Moments later, the guarded nodded briefly and walked off, while the princess retreated back to her study and took a place behind the desk.
That thief will be found, he'll be brought before me and will answer for his actions The princess closed and eyes and for the rest of the night, continued to brood over the thief who had slighted her.
-
"I don't believe you, not even slightly. he's a fool, but not a suicidal one."
An old stallion had just finished listening to what had to be tallest spun tale of all time. He looked at his companion, who remained silent and simply stared at him momentarily, before responding. "You don't believe me, I thought you knew me...rather, knew him better than that."
At this the old stallion blinked rapidly and pulled his head back; as if contemplating the validity of the story. He then narrowed his eyes once more before his composure cracked and he began a round of scratchy, boisterous laughter. This continued for a minute before the old stallion finally settled down and wiped a tear from his eye.
"Well, I suppose it's entirely possible. Yes, you might have just lost your damn mind. But, if that story is true, where is priceless proof, hmmmm?"
The other stallion reached over to a lamp which had been flickering on the verge of darkness; he opened the small valve on it, illuminating the two ponies. The old stallion, with a faded red coat and grayed brown mane, and his companion; a tall pony, adorned in a black cloak. The light from the small lamp crept its way up to the hood of the cloaked figure, revealing his face. He had an ash-like, dark grey coat; nearly hidden under his overgrown, nearly black colored mane. Plastered on his face was a devious grin as he pulled a small satchel from within the cloak. Tossing it on the table, he remained silent and allowed the old stallion to open it himself. Dumping the contents out on a small table, the pony needed only a moment to view the object on the table before he gasped and looked up at the younger stallion.
"Starswirl's bear, you actually did it. This-this is the wildest, most insane and foolhardy stunt you've pulled yet. You robbed the princess in front of the elements of harmony...you could've been caught! those elements, they would've turned you to stone i wager! And furthermore, who do you think would actually be crazy enough to buy this?"
The thief regarded the old stallion’s incredulous look with a smile and gave a small laugh before replying with "that, my old friend, is where my job ends and yours begins." he laughed again and looked down at the beautiful earring with was sitting on the old table.
"Aye, it'll be taken care of. So, what was it like?"
"Hmmmm?"
"Being that close to the Princess, I mean."
The thief was silent for a moment, staring intently at the ground. He then looked up towards the inquisitive pony and broke out into a huge grin. "It was incredible-beyond incredible. Easily the most surreal moment of my life and the most terrifying job that the thief has ever pulled." Both stallions laughed at this and took a moment to compose themselves. Then, the thief began coughing and put a hoof down on the table to steady himself. The old stallion spoke up,
"That much I believe without a doubt. So, how much longer?"
"Until what?"
The aged pony looked him in the eye before continuing, “No, I mean how much longer can you keep this up?" His tone had hardened; the thief, meanwhile, had pulled a rag from a hook on the wall and wiped his mouth with it. the old pony continued to stare at the younger stallion. Doing this he failed to recognize the tell-tale crimson streaks which stained the rag, hidden by the dimly lit atmosphere. The thief walked over to the wall and leaned on it, taking the weight off of his hooves. He looked back at his companion and nearly choked on his next words.
"I-I don't know,” he looked down, attempting to find an appropriate response. None came however and he was forced to continue, “It's getting worse. Even when I'm not sprinting...I can still feel it. I always feel tired, too tired. the only time I feel normal anymore is when I sprint. But my endurance for that is also slipping; things are getting too bad, too quickly. And I don't know what to do." He closed his eyes and inhaled sharply, trying to collect himself.
"You can't keep doing this; you know that as well as I do. Something has to change."
"You think I don't know that? But what options do I have, I stop and others suffer, there is no other way than...this." He looked back and received a sympathetic look from the old stallion. He then pushed himself off of the wall and turned to the door, yawning. "regardless of anything else, I think it's time that I get some well-earned rest, don't you think?"
"Ha, you're right on that account, at least. Take it easy for a while, you're working yourself into an early grave. Not to mention, this little trinket should bring in enough bits for us to get by for quite a while, and it'll cover any other expenses as well." He let out a hardy chuckle and continued, "so don't be afraid of getting a drink down at the tavern, yeah?"
The thief looked back at the old stallion and nodded, "that sounds like a brilliant idea, my old friend. goodnight."
"It's morning" replied the old stallion, earning a laugh from the thief before hearing the door close. He hung his head low and let out an exasperated sigh. "Damned idiot, only halfway concerned that he's going to get himself killed." He then looked back at the earring which had been sitting on the table still. He looked at it for a moment before smiling. "Nopony would ever buy you and there's not a griffon in the world who would buy from a pony...so let's go find you a minotaur!" He laughed and scooped up the earring in the bag which had previously contained it, then tying it around his neck; he walked outside into the morning sun.
