It's a Long Way to the Top!

by Emerald Oracle

Rating: everyone
Tags: Gilda, Slice of Life, Alternate Universe, Human, Original Character, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Flurry Heart, Spike, Comedy, Romance, Coloratura
Length: 2384

It has been almost a decade since the human world and the equine world met, and James Maverick is making a living in Equestria as top cover artist for humanity's top songs in Equestria. He will discover what it takes to be a true Rockstar!

Dimensions clash in a scientific experiment a little less than ten years ago, forcing an unexpected clash between the human word and the equine one. Through a lengthy process of careful diplomacy and tentative cultural exposure, the two societies finally begin to mix. Wary of the other's cultures, progress is slow, and the governments of both worlds work to ease racial tensions.
James Maverick, a young transfer student in Equestria, will be set on the path to fame in the most unexpected way, performing old human songs live for the enjoyment of the Equestrian populace! Many hardships follow the life of a Rockstar, and James will discover new friends, make bitter enemies, and show Equestria the history of our world's most popular songs!

A slightly unrealistic idea I had a while ago that I decided was interesting enough to actually share. I'm sure others have tackled a similar premise, and I'm too lazy to check them out (and a little a scared that I'll get a too inspired by what I find) so I will gladly claim that any similarities to previous works is purely coincidental.

For those who would like to know, I envision this story containing: Love Triangles, Gratuitous Ripping of Popular Songs from Bygone Days, Lots of Angst, Shipping, Interspecies Relationships, Some Light Racist Situations, Boyish Charm, Mischievous Females, Zero Drugs, and Severe Culture Clashes

Published 2017-02-28 19:40:01 UTC
Last updated 2017-02-28 19:40:01 UTC

We Have a Job for You

"For Me?" James asked with a nervous gulp. He had been brought to Canterlot Castle to meet with the heads of the Pony-Human Relations Board, a committee entirely dedicated to smoothing over the cultural and societal differences between the United Nations of Earth and Equestria. Its members included Princess Celestia who represented the Equestrian Oligarchy, Ambassador Alfred Stockingham who represented the U.N., and Professors Gerald Min and Studious Culture who were appointed as mediators and experts of their respective sociologies. James had been given the opportunity to move to Equestria for his college studies as part of a program to unite the different peoples of their worlds, and a little under a decade after coming here did he find himself back in the Canterlot offices of the Board.

"Yes Mister Maverick," Alfred clearly spoke, the elderly gentleman's amiable smile doing its best to ease the young man's anxiety from across the large table between them. "You see, despite all the progress the Student Exchange Program has made we still have yet to see acceptance and friendship blossom between our two worlds like we had hoped. People on both sides of the fence are still wary of mingling with others, and we hoped a men and women of your talents could help tear down the barriers that keep us segregated."

"Talents?" James questioned again, brushing his unkempt auburn bangs out of his chocolate-brown eyes. He had spent the last year after graduation traveling Equestria on some saved up birthday money and the remains of his grant from the Program. Hair care had fallen behind in that time, and James suddenly found himself both underdressed and unprepared for the interview in the large and tastefully furnished boardroom.

"Musical talent in your case," Celestia joined in, raising a file that no doubt contained records on James time in Equestria and flipped through it and reviewing its contents with an ever-present motherly smile before continuing. "You earned a Scholar's Certificate at Mi Amore Cadenza's School of Performing Arts in the Crystal Empire for Contemporary Music Study and Composition. Many of your Instructors have noted your skill and ability as well as your passion for sharing music with your fellow students. I could go on, but we both know you already know these things, and we of the board have already gone over your qualifications extensively amongst ourselves."

James was quiet for a moment, and the board allowed him the time to process this. He then asked, "So you need a composer?"

"Not quite," Studious spoke up, pushing a pair of bifocals up the bridge of his mauve nose with a hoof. "What we need is a performer with an extensive knowledge of modern tracks. We brought you here to ask you to found a cover band to provide live performances of human music for the people of Equestria."

"W-What?" James answered, bewildered. "You're serious?"

"As a heart attack, son," Professor Min joked with a cheery smile on his pale and lined face. "If there is one thing ponies here love, it's music. You won't be the only one but make no mistake, we are not trying to start a competition. We have chosen people of many backgrounds to provide many different genres both here and back home. You will be in charge of a genre we hoped you would enjoy, Rock and Roll."

"Wait, isn't most of that still under copyright law back on Earth?" James asked. "I won't have a very big library to play if so."

"Don't worry about that," Alfred answered. "We will be subsidizing most of the costs of your performances,including song rights, providing you follow a some guidelines and stick to pieces that belong to artists who won't be as willing or able to perform as you are. Play fair and play well and you won't face any legal issues. Of course the owners of the pieces will still be collecting royalties from your performances so we sadly can't let you keep all the profit from your shows, but we are almost sure you can make a decent living being a 'Rockstar' as it were regardless. Can we assume that you agree to come under our employ?"

James shyly rubbed his arm and said, "I'm not to sure, can I ask a few more questions?"

"Of course, my little human," Celestia answered sweetly.

"Who do I get to have on my band?"

"That would be entirely up to you," Studious answered. "We will provide a list of musicians we believe would be helpful as well as appoint a manager to assist and guide you, but we do not want to discourage you from building your band as you see fit. As the founder and de facto leader you will have final say on many decisions regarding the inner workings of your group, but we do highly encourage you to select some of them from some of Equestria's own stock. It will help the image of your band greatly and attract a bigger audience."

"Will equipment be covered?"

"Once you form your band we will provide you the necessary tools to do your performances. We will not accept requests, you are expected to work with what we give you and will provide replacements as necessary for any and all gear we provide, within reason of course." Alfred explained. "If you should desire different or higher quality equipment, you will need to pay out of pocket."

A smile began to grow on James's face as he nodded in understanding, asking, "How do I let you know what songs I want to play?"

Celestia levitated a pamphlet to James and said, "We have already purchased or negotiated rights for a selection of songs we found appropriate for your performances here. If you should desire a piece not already provided you just need to send us an email or letter to our offices here in Canterlot. If your request meets our standards we will do our best to retrieve the performance rights in a timely manner, though it would probably be best you stick with what we provided for now as this is all clearly experimental."

James quickly reviewed the selection and noted a couple personal favorites among them. His excitement had been growing steadily throughout the entire interview, but it was put on hold when a dour thought came to mind.

"What happens if my band flops?"

"We highly doubt with your expertise that you will not fulfill your job to our expectations," Professor Min provided. "We are not asking you to be a platinum hit, just to perform the songs well. If Equestria should shun your shows entirely it would be more of a fault on our part than your's. Still, if things should go south you can expect to be let go gently with generous severance pay for you and all your members. We will remind you that we are investing a lot of tax dollars in you Mr. Maverick, and while the risk will always be on us we would ask you do your best to meet our expectations seeing as they aren't very high.

James nodded once with his best attempt at a professional look. He stared into his entangled hands for a while thinking it all over. The Board waited patiently for his answer. The clock ticked away on the wall as the minutes went by and James considered his options. After close to fifteen minutes James slowly raised his head, a wide giddy grin splitting his face from ear to ear.

"Where do I sign up?"

The Board members all smiled at eachother before Celestia levitated one more stack of forms onto the table.

"Wow! I forget how tall humans get sometimes, what with how few of you visit Equestria." James's new manager, Coloratura, excitedly commented. "Just how many, what was it? Feet?" James nodded with a hint of amusement. "How many feet high are you?"

After James had signed all the documents the Board needed him to review, they had sent introduced the retired pop star as his new manager. They explained that Coloratura had volunteered for the position when they had begun scouting. Her experience and connections in the industry made her a perfect candidate and Coloratura had been very expressive in her interview about her desire to help foster a whole new generation of music in Equestria. Once they had been formally introduced the Board had left them alone to get to know each other on a more personal level and plan out there next moves.

"I'm five foot eight," James answered with a friendly smile, kneeling down to meet Coloratura's eyes.

"Stand up you silly man! I won't have anypon-oh! Excuse me, anyone going out of their way for little ol' me." Coloratura shakily scolded before asking, "So, is that tall for your people?"

James shrugged and said, "A bit above average."

"Well I wouldn't have guessed that, but that shows how much I know. You're almost as tall as a minotaur to me!" Coloratura giggled happily. "I can tell we'll be good friends, and I'm sure you know how seriously ponies take friendships."

"I've had my experiences yes," James replied, a unintentional hint of melancholy seeping in. It did not go unnoticed.

"Oh, sweetie, is there something you'd like to share?" Coloratura asked, placing a hoof on his thigh.

"No, no, sorry to worry you," James quickly responded. "I just miss an old friend of mine back in the Crystal Empire. Last we talked was a long while ago and we didn't say goodbye on the best terms."

"Oh, that's a little sad," Coloratura said. "Well I hope you two make up some day. Ponies are very forgiving more often than not, and if your friend of yours insists on being a big ol' meany just ask Aunty Coloratura to talk some sense into them."

"I hardly think you're old enough to be my Aunt," James observed.

"Looks can be very deceiving, sweetie. I just had my forty-fifth birthday. You may not know, but Earth Ponies tend to live very long lives. We're a stubborn bunch."

"Could've fooled me."

"You flatterer you! Now, I assume the Board told you everything you need to know?" Coloratura asked with a raised brow.

"Of course, Miss Coloratura."

"Oh please, we're friends. Call me Ra-Ra!" Coloratura said with a lazy wave of her hoof and a cheerful smile. "So, do you have any ideas on who to grab first for our little upstart cover band?"

James smiled as he looked out a window overlooking the whole of Equestria, the list of musicians in hand quickly forgotten.

"I know just who we need."

"Oh really?" Coloratura said. "And who is that?"

"An old friend of mine from school, a pegasus mare named Crystal Beats. She's one of the best drummers I know, and she would kill for an opportunity like this. Last I heard from her, she was visiting a pen-pal of hers in Ponyville while scouting out gigs 'Down South' as she calls it."

"She sounds perfect! But what about the others? Surely the two of you can't manage on your own."

"That's the best bit, she's been telling me all about the friends she's been making there. I'm sure she'll help us find some willing talent. In fact, I think I'll give her a call now."

James reached into his travelbag on the ground by the chair and fished out his cellphone from within. He pulled up Crystal Beats number and tapped the call symbol on the touchscreen. It rang twice before a very familiar voice answered.

"Heya, Cryst speaking."

"What's up my wingmare?" James enthusiastically greeted.

"Jimmy! Is that you! It's been almost month you hayseed! You know how I get when my top gun wingman doesn't call! I've been worried sick that those Southerners in Manehattan had gobbled you up for breakfast like my Ma always said they would, how's it hangin?"

"Oh, you wouldn't believe the news I've got for you," James smugly remarked with a wink a Coloratura, earning an only slightly amused eyeroll.

"After that story you told me about the minotaur and the mare with octopus arms, I'm not sure anything these Southern ponies can pull would surprise me."

"Just you wait, I've got to ask you something first."

"Shoot, my man."

"You still bumming it up in Ponyville?"

"I have told you a thousand times that I am being a very welcome and productive member of the town! I ain't a moocher, a bum, a skid, or any other colorful terms you pull out of your smooth pink butt!" Crystal's voice had gotten so loud so quickly it might as well have been on speaker phone.

"Alright, alright, I get it. You're totally not using Sparky as a cheap means of getting close to Spike."

Silence dominated the line for the first time since the call began. Eventually Crystal spoke once more in a quiet voice, barely audible over the phone.

"Get to point Jimmy."

"I'm getting a band together, and we're going to need some of the best talent we can get our mitts on. Last I checked you were a goddess with the drums, and you've told me many a time how Sparky is a personal student of the DJ PON3."

Coloratura's eyes perked up a little at the mention of Sparky's pedigree, and James threw her a knowing smile.

"You better not be pulling my leg man, you know how many times I've tried pulling you into a real band ever since that show we put on at CPA. I still haven't found anyone who plays bass as well as you do."

"No leg pulls Cryst, but there's more. We are going to be paid by the PHRB to play songs from my own ballpark."

"......No way."

"Yes way, Princess Celestia herself authorized it. We're going to rock out human style."

Once again Crystal's voice rang out over the phone's speakers, only this time the screams and joyous exclamations were a lot less coherent and discernible as well as lengthy.

James smiled and looked to his manager who returned it with gusto.

"Sounds like she's on board!" Coloratura cheerfully commented with a couple claps of her hooves.