Author's Note
My first story posted to this site, hopefully it is decent. I wanted to try to capture Celestia's emotions during different periods during Luna's banishment like it was a journal, and hopefully I did a decent job.
One Thousand Years
Day Zero
I just stared. Stared at the glowing moon. Now the insignia of a black unicorn on it. I knew what I did but... I couldn't have wield the Elements alone could I..? Let alone banish my own sister.. I.. She can't be gone.. No she can't.. I.. I don't know what to do.. She.. She couldn't be gone.. she can't.. She'll be back soon right? No.. No I can't cry.. don't cry... ponies can't see you cry.. you're their leader they.. Buck it.. I need to cry.. screw anypony that says otherwise.. they don't know what it's like...
It's been 3 hours... I've been up in my room.. just.. crying.. I couldn't have been the one to push her away, could I? ugh... I.. I need time to think.. a lot of time..
Week 1
I've been in my room for a week... the guards and staff members have grown anxious about my whereabouts, yet I tell them.. lie to them.. that I'm fine.. I'm not fine and I can't be fine.. not with what I did to her.. what I'm cursed to do every morning and every evening... Nopony can understand my pain.. but I need to smile.. tell them I'm better now... I'll go out today, put on a smile, and everything will be fine... to them..
Week 2
I can't believe this! 2 weeks after I lost her, they declare it a victory! What I did was no victory.. it was a defeat on everypony.. I just.. I can't deal with a glass painting on my wall.. having to pass by it every day.. Torture!
Month 1
I.. I just can't deal with it anymore... I need her back.. she's been gone too long.. nopony except for maybe a few close servants know anything about my torment... yet what can I do.. all I can do is just write in here.. I can't let ponies know I'm being tormented by my own actions.. it's like every night is a.. Nightmare.. having to raise the moon every night.. being reminded of my "victory" in the hallway every time I wish to head to my throne for day court. Yet all I can show my ponies is my happiness.. my content that our nation is in peace..
Year 1
It's been repetitive... When she was here.. she'd always brighten my day.. I had no idea of her torment... WHY..Why couldn't I have seen it before... I wish I could've done more.. given her a day of celebration or.. or something. There's a lot I could have done. Yet what did I do!? Nothing! Because I'm a horrible sister and a horrible leader! Yet I can't let my ponies know.. their happiness before mine..
Century 1
She's not coming back is she.. Every night and every day is torment for me.. Have I died and gone to Tartarus? Is this punishment for me? to have to always relive the same action every night? Whoever is above me.. Can't you tell that I'm miserable? I miss my sister.. I want her back. I do, I do..
Year 988
I've met a pony that may be my new student. She is filled with joy and is very, very studious. Hopefully.. maybe she'll grow up and prove herself to be alongside me.. If my sister is not coming back.. then hopefully this new pony can try to at least fill some of my misery... maybe I'm being selfish but..it will at least help her later on.. or is that what I keep telling myself?
year 1000
It's been a millenia.. a millenia of torment.. a millenia of self loathing.. a millenia of misery.. my Student has grown up, and I've sent her to help prepare the Summer Sun Celebration.. yet.. every time I do the raising of the sun.. it just reminds me of my faliure. Hopefully I'll just get through it and go back to my castle... Nopony knows how hard it truly is.. to be reminded of a "victory" for centuries.. then it becomes legend.. your own sister has become a legend... I tried to have them start an annual celebration to remind them of her but it just twisted into "Nightmare Night"... that just made it worse for me.. Anyway, I'm just going to do the Summer Sun Celebration, and head back to my castle like I said.. I need to think.. and to mourn again.
Day 1
She's back! She is finally back! After one thousand years she is finally, finally back! No more weeping in front of the sight of the moon! No more depressed days passing the painted glass window on the wall! All thanks to my new student. This is the best blessing I have ever received, All I can do is just, just laugh and be happy. Tomorrow I plan on spending the day with my sister, she is all that matters to me now. Everything else is second. After tomorrow, I will teach her all that she missed... due to me... No, I will not succumb to my own depression again! She is back and that is all that matters now. No matter what, I will protect her from all that try to harm or corrupt her. She is my first priority now, and I will spend more time with her daily. Maybe I can be a better sister now than I was before.. hopefully.. But now, I will celebrate, EVERYPONY, will celebrate! For today is a happy day, and the world will know that their princess has finally returned, and it is really good. Really really good. No more is she legend, and finally she is back, and she will be back in the hearts of everypony, and it is good. Really good.
