Hard To Find The Right Words

by Nameless Narrator

Rating: teen
Tags: My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Changelings, Original Character, Comedy, Royal Guard, Random
Length: 39252

There are thousands of stories about changelings lost and broken after the explosion ending the invasion of Canterlot. After all, there were thousands of changelings caught in it. Some found love or peace, and some found death. I'm just one of many.

She was one of the best. Loyal, powerful, unbreakable. That was until the love burst ended the invasion of Canterlot. One of queen Chrysalis' personal guards, after flying over half of Equestria tossed by the blast, lands inside enemy territory. Crippled, and defenseless, can she fool the ponies around her long enough to sink her fangs into their necks? Will that even be an option? Is she even half as good as she thinks?

Unfortunately, with her eyes wounded beyond repair, she has to rely only on her ears to escape her predicament.

Cover is a beautiful fanart by CitreneSkys / PaintedSNEK
(Just a little experiment in a purely dialogue-based story. As usual, comments, criticism, suggestions, or anything really is encouraged if it's constructive.)

Published 2017-03-02 17:30:01 UTC
Last updated 2017-07-10 13:42:19 UTC

Day one.

“Grrgh -cough- damn...”

“What... happened…? Light… bubblegum… flying.”

“So cold… roaring wind… then... crunch?”

“Why can’t I... see anything? Some nerve damage… it has to be. Can’t heal it right now. Must get up-”

“Damn, move, legs! Move, head! Move… something? Anything?”

“Damn it. I can’t keep just lying here. Must… get back to my Queen. She could be around. After all, I was close to her before the explosion.”

“Who’s there?! I can hear you sneaking around. You’re breathing like a-”

“Woof woof!”

“Oh, just a dog. Thank the Queen. For a moment, I thought you were a pony.”

“Woof!”

“Yeah, yeah, mutt. I get it. You’ve never seen anything like me before. Now come closer, and let me drain you.”

“Wrrrrrr!”

“Come on, I’m nice. Don’t be scared of the holes, they only whistle in high wind. You sound like one of the small breeds. Those aggressive little toilet brushes.”

“Woof woof woof woof!”

“Good to know I was right. Now come heeeeere. I won’t bite. Heck, I can barely speak.”

“Thaaat’s right, just listen to my slow and calm voice. I’m no threat. You dogs don’t bite what doesn’t move, right? Just a liiiitle closer, I can feel your hot breath on my hoof already. Just stay there so I can turn over and grab-”

“Alright, can’t move at all. Plan B. Stop licking my fetlock, you dirty mutt!”

“Grrrw! Woof woof!”

“Alright, alright, I’m not raising my voice anymore. Queen knows I’m glad at least my lungs still work.”

“Woof woof woof woof.”

“Listen to me, you tiny pile of fleas, because I will keep talking in this slow, deep, non-threatening voice, but if you don’t shut up I promise I’ll tear your throat out as soon as I can move. You see these fangs, the fangs I would be pointing at if I was able to move? My mouth is full of those, and the fact that I feed on love doesn’t mean I haven’t had my fair share of meat.”

“Woof?”

“Eeeeh, I prefer chicken. I had a bit of a pony who got too close to the Hive by accident, and they aren’t too tasty. Physically, I mean. We sucked him dry after he stopped resisting and boy does that feel great. Like a tingle all over, recharging you, and revitalizing you better than any cold bath. But all that was nothing compared to when the Queen chose me to be her bodyguard during the wedding. The love she rewards her best with, now that is something.”

“Woof?”

“I can’t describe that. I just felt like I could take on anything. Ponies, diamond dogs, dragons… we even took the alicorn princess out. All until the damn explosion. Love turned against us, it hurt so bad. The power fueling me, coursing through all my veins suddenly betrayed me.”

“Woof woof woof woof!”

“I don’t know, just imagine a bowl of whatever slop you annoying little squeaker eat flying up and beating you to death. Hmmm, that would be pretty fun to watch. Note to self - after recovery, feed one of those iritating high-pitched dog-wannabes to the wild scorpions. Now THOSE make great pets.Granted, if you screw up once while taming them, you don’t get a second shot. That’s why we make drones do it.”

“Wrrrrrr...”

“Oh don’t get too sour about it. I like dogs… well, I don’t mind dogs in general, just the dumb, pocket-sized ones are a waste of oxygen. Pets are great, they make excellent sources of love. Too bad we couldn’t keep them inside the Hive. Nothing to feed them, see? Shriveled pony corpses work, but even those were pretty rare. That’s why the whole invasion happened in the first place.”

“Woof?”

“What? Did you think we enjoy hunting ponies? Well, we do, or at least some of us do. My role was to protect the Queen, one of the royal guards. I’ve never actually stalked a pony, that's for infiltrators. I killed those who strayed close or intruded inside the Hive. I even kept a mare once as a slave for few weeks before devouring her. It was my right as the best of the best. But you know, the pet problem all over again.”

“Woof woof woof woof woof woof!”

“What is Paperwight going crazy about?”

“Oh you little piece of crap! I still can’t move. Couldn’t you have given me just few more minutes? I’d have been fine. I am the best, the strongest, the- ”

“Is- is it a changeling drone?”

“Call me a drone again and I’ll decorate my leg holes with your entrails.”

“By princess Celestia’s rainbow mane, it is still alive.”

“I am a very much a ‘she’, not ‘it’, pony. If you call me ‘it’ again, I will do to you what I did to the Royal Guards of your pathetic princess. Normally, I’d consider it beneath me, but you’ll know full well how much of a ‘she’ I am afterwards. Oh wait, you won’t because you’ll be a dry husk! ”

“Mister Start Trail, mister Star Trail! There’s a changeling in the back yard and it is really angry!”

“I’m not ‘it’, you worthless sack of flesh! Oh why do I even bother… can’t move, can’t see, surrounded by ponies who might or might not know about Canterlot... so perhaps I can talk my way out. Or not… whoever that voice was knew about me.”

“And maybe mumbling to yourself wasn’t the smartest idea too, changeling.”

“Who- how? Who are you and why didn’t I hear you arrive?”

“You will be answering my questions, monster. At least if you want to die quickly instead of being ‘interrogated’.”

“Ahahahahaha, how about screw you, pony? You are a pony, right? I’m not making an ass of myself even more, I hope.”

“You don’t look worried, although your shape makes it rather difficult to assess the situation. In fact, you look like a pile of broken chitin, green flesh, and goo. I can see you are one of the top tier changelings from the remains of the belly plate around your barrel.”

“You’re pretty knowledgeable for a pony.”

“The warning message about your kind possibly falling from the skies came through the radio along with some basic descriptions. Including the order for any of your kind to be detained. Of course, if you resist… I doubt you can tell us enough to warrant the trouble of keeping you alive.”

“Was that supposed to be a threat, pony? HAH! You are food, sometimes maybe amusement, but nothing more. You want to wring me for information? Keep dreaming, I am loyal, I wa- AM one of the best, and I will sooner die than betray the Hive.”

“Bravado doesn’t really work when you have no real value to your captor. Now it is you who is the amusement.”

“I AM NOT A TOY, I AM QUEEN CHRYSALIS’ BEST GUARD. HOW DARE YOU- HEY! LET GO OF MY LEG! WHERE ARE YOU DRAGGING ME? SPEAK! Speak to me…?”

Interrogation

“Stop-ow”

“No.”

“Slow-ow down-ow!”

“No”

“Damn-ow, these-ow cursed-ow stairs-ow!”

“Just stairs.”

“At least-ow grab me-ow by the-ow head!”

“No, I like the hollow thumping as it hits every step.”

“You insole-ow insol-ow insolen-ow STOPGOINGFASTER! Oh thank the Queen’s chitin, a floor. Cold stone... couldn't afford a carpet, cheapskate?”

“You're making a disgusting green smear all over the place already. Dragging you back up, whether dead or alive, will be the high point of my day.”

“You pathetic existence! If I could move, I would tear you apart limb from limb, eyes or no eyes.”

“Empty threats, changeling. I’ve dealt with way worse than you in my day. Things that would make your carapace crawl.”

“You’re free to delude yourself. Oh, the sweet creaking of poorly oiled door hinges without which no dungeon would be complete, is it interrogation room time already?”

“You’re taking this rather well.”

“What more do you think you can take away from me? My body doesn’t work, I am away from my Hive, my head hurts already from the lack of buzzing I’ve known my entire life-”

“And the stairs, don’t forget the stairs.”

“Asshole.”

“I consider myself a generally good-natured pony. You, on the other hoof, are a pest that needs to be questioned and eradicated.”

“I think you got the wrong idea heeeeere-? I’m flying? Oh, you’re a unicorn. That explains this magical room.”

“This room is completely mundane. Are you going crazy from blood loss… well, goo loss?”

“Then how can it fit both us, the table you’re putting me on -not too carefully, mind you. Your telekinetic control blows- and your ego?”

“Hmph! Let’s see how your leg can fit this needle.”

“Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah! Heeeeeeeeeeelp meeeeeeeeeeeee! It huuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuurts, it buuuuuuuuuuuuuurns, it stiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiings, it- wait, can you scratch my back, please? The healing chitin really itches.”

“You...?!”

“I know pain, unicorn. I’ve survived the burning agony of being stung by Badlands scorpion and having the flesh under my chitin melt. I have practiced fighting against the Queen herself once and lived to tell the tale. Plus, I can barely feel my entire body, so screw you and your needle, hahah. I bet it’s longer than your dick.”

“At my age, these kinds of jabs have no meaning. But you are correct, slightly. From what I can see, you react differently to cracked exoskeleton than a pony would to a broken bone. Oh well, it’s not like it changes anything.”

“Glass? I hear glass. Waterboarding? Oh dear, oh dear, whatever shall I-"

"You talk too much."

"-AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA-”

“Put the acid down, Star Trail!”

“-AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA-”

“Oh don’t worry, Crest. It sounds much worse than it really is.”

“-AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA-”

“What did you say?”

“-AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA-”

“What? I can't hear you over- wait, let me put a dampening spell on this irritating creature-”

“-aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa-”

“-There, much better. Did you need something from me, Crest?”

“Don’t talk to me like nothing serious is happening! You’re torturing her!”

“Just proving a point. And it’s an ‘it’, not a ‘her’. If you think about them like about ponies, you’ll get soft and end up in a cocoon with a sippy straw stuck in your ear. Anyway, how did you know?”

“Puff ran over and told me about the angry changeling wanting to use herself as a Hearth’s Warming tree decorated with pony intestines. I was unsure which part of the message he got right, but speed was of the essence.”

“Idiot.”

“He was worried that SHE would outsmart and hurt you, Trail, and wanted the police to be present.”

“-aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa."

“Good heart, but nonetheless an idiot. Still, I am detaining an enemy of Equestria, and as a retired Paladin I retained some privileges.”

“The royal order is for any caught changelings to be handed over to the police or guard force, which is us, not you.”

“...”

“Hey, she stopped screaming.”

“Let me correct that-”

“Don’t you dare!”

“Let me go, you damn soft guard wannabe!”

“Trail, don’t make me call for Bladehoof guarding the main door! Stop! Struggling!”

“Argh! Damn it, Crest, I’ll have you quartered for conspiracy!”

“Enough with the nonsense, Trail. You have no official power anymore, and if you stop trying to get away from the wall I’ll forget this ever happened, but if you keep kicking me, I’ll call Bladehoof, and then it’ll be an assault on a police officer. That wouldn’t look good on your exemplary record, would it?”

“Grrrr...”

“Just remove the silencing spell from her.”

“There, done. Happy?”

“Good. Now, changeling, what did you want to say?”

“Don’t listen to it! They can charm you with just their voice if you’re not careful.”

“Oh shut up, Trail. Changeling?”

“Three things, ponies. One, I’m kinda bleeding out here, you know. The senile moron poured the acid on my non-stabbed leg. Two, if you, Crest, whoever you are, get me out of this mad unicorn’s place, I’ll kill you last, or maybe even give you enough of a head start to get out and survive. And three… for making the pain stop I’ll tell you a secret he wanted to burn out of me. Just promise me he won’t do it again.”

“I promise, no more torture.”

“Alright, here goes...”

“Yeeees?”

“You both can suck my ovipositor.”

Sunlight

“I’ll squash you like the bug you are!”

“Urgh! Stop, Trail! Don’t let her get under your skin. Calm down, breathe in, breathe out. Now stop flailing your forelegs before you actually hit me.”

“Yeah, stop that. If you hurt each other then I’ll have nothing to eat. Although what little love I could get from this bitter old prune is beyond me. You -Crest, was it?- on the other hoof, feel a little… pent up? Love life a little dry recently?”

“Say one more thing in that smug tone, and I’ll let Star Trail burn that grin off of your face… well, what little’s left of your face anyway.”

“Oh hey, more death threats, how original...”

“No, that was a pain threat, bug. Star Trail can make sure you stay alive as long as possible.”

“Glad to see you’re finally seeing my point of view, Crest. Now how about you let me continue my-”

“Torturing the defenseless is against the law, no matter how deserving or annoying they may be.”

“Celestia-damn Royal Guard pussies. So what, are you going to take her across the street to your station and lock her up there?”

“Exactly, now help me get her on my back.”

“Why?”

“Trail, don’t make me pull rank on you-”

“I AM A PALADIN-”

“You WERE a paladin, now you’re a civilian, and I, as the chief of Riverside police, can ask you for cooperation. Look, I’m worried about her being here as much as you are, but I’ll do this by the book no matter what you say. Now levitate her slowly onto my back. My wings aren’t flexible enough to shove somepony in her state on my back without making things far worse.”

“Two things, Crest.”

“Yes?”

“I’ll visit her whenever I want.”

“No violence.”

“Agreed.”

“And the second thing?”

“You’re sending a letter to Canterlot about her today. There has to be a containment protocol for captured changelings, and I don’t have enough experience with them to train your squad. If she was dragon, things would be easier.”

“You actually fought a dragon?”

“Oh don’t look so shocked, Crest, your jaw is practically polishing my floor. Who do you think takes care of the unnatural threats that don’t happen in the vicinity of the Element bearers? We, paladins, just don’t get stained glass windows or press attention unless it’s really big.”

“Almost makes me see you in a different light, you cranky old unicorn.”

“We’re not having a moment, Crest. If we’re clear on the situation, let’s shove this chitinous annoyance on your back and get to sending that report.”

“Oof, pretty heavy considering how skinny she looks.”

“See these holes-”

“Stop, I’m not a museum attraction, pony! The fact that I can barely feel my legs doesn’t mean this doesn’t hurt!”

“Oh, do you think I care?”

“Owww. STOP THAT!”

“Stop it, Star Trail.”

“Ugh, conspirator. Fine, careful about the stairs, they’re slippery from when I was dragging her down.”

“My head still hurts from that.”

“Excellent.”

“Anyway, the leg holes are an evolutionary necessity making their chitin armor lighter. They suck at swimming because of them, though. Say, you have a pool behind the station, right?”

“Don’t even think about that.”

“I was just offering free lessons to our ‘guest’. Possibly, I could tell Puff to teach her and Bladehoof..”

“Dear heavens, no. OH HEY, BLADEHOOF, we weren’t talking about you at all. Good to know you’re, umm, still guarding the door.”

“As per your orders, commander.”

“Cool, a female voice. Deeper than usual, but clearly female. A green cocoon will suit you.”

“I see Puff wasn’t completely wrong about things, commander.”

“No, he wasn’t, and stop saluting. I know you’re trying to put on a show for civilians, but Star Trail doesn’t count.”

“Oh, is that where we are? Sorry, my eyes aren’t the best during the day. You just called when Puff came and I ran after you.”

“Damn it, Bladehoof, how long have you slept tonight?”

“Tonight?”

“This week.”

“Umm… I had a nap on… Monday, I think.”

“How are you still standing? No, how are you still alive?”

“Thestral powers.”

“Batpony powers of what?”

“Umm, magic?”

“I’m loading your next energy drink with sleeping pills.”

“Heh, Palisade will drink that first, and then she’ll finally see ‘aaaaall the pretty colours’. Uaaaaaaugh!”

“You really didn’t need to do the hoof wave she does. Hey, was that a yawn?”

“A traditional thestral battlecry, commander. I am ready to pounce at your command. One hundred percent -uaaaaaagh- in action.”

” Good, good, glad to hear that. Star Trail, do you have a cart around, and a spare sheet?”

“I’ll tell Puff to get it, why?”

“I’m not carrying her on my back all the way to the station.”

“All the way across the street you mean.”

“Doesn’t matter, it could cause panic.”

“Finally a smart word out of you, Crest. Do you need some shackles as-”

“NO!”

“Fiiine, I guess that if she tries something your batpony will just aggressively fall asleep on her.”

“Just go...”

“I apologize, commander.”

“Bladehoof?”

“For my inefficiency casting poor light on your command.”

“Just ignore the old coot and get some sleep after we get back.”

“I’ll have a nap during my lunch break.”

“SLEEP. I’ll even pay you for the whole shift. Just close yourself in an empty cell and don’t come come out until you’re able to stand without swaying in the wind.”

“Yes, commander.”

“And don’t give me that kicked puppy look. You’re the best policepony I have at my disposal… when you’re somewhat self-aware, I mean.”

“Yes, commander.”

“Good, now go find Star Trail and pull his cart. Puff has enough on his plate already. Speaking of which, will you be training with him today?”

“Not if I have to sleep, commander. But if I-”

“You’ll sleeping today or I’ll knock you out with my blackjack.”

“Yes, commander.”

“Now there’s a pony I might grow not to hate, loyal and from what you’re saying pretty skilled. Bladehoof, was it?”

“She left, changeling.”

“Damn she’s quiet.”

“Batpony trait.”

“So there’s just the two of us, right? Me on your back, maw hanging right next to your neck- HAH, you twitched.”

“Grrrr...”

“So let me get this straight, you are the chief of the police in this town called Riverside, right?”

“You have good memory and catch on quickly.”

“Of course, I’m not some dumb drone.”

“Could have fooled me...”

“I’m not deaf, pony, and just like that you’re back on my ‘to be killed painfully’ list.”

“Poor me.”

“I feel you’re not taking me seriously.”

“I wonder why that would be the case, barely talking changeling hanging limply from my back.”

“...”

“...”

“...”

“You have this Bladehoof under you who doesn’t sleep much.”

“She has many amazing traits. Unfortunately, she doesn’t understand her limits. She has a second job and sends all money she can spare home- wait, why am I telling you this?”

“Because I know when and how to ask. Because I can tell you desperately need a mare and that you saved me because I am one in your eyes. Love, lust, desire, all that is something I don’t need eyes to spot. A moment of emotional weakness was all it took. You dropped your guard.”

“Holy sunlight!”

“Aren’t you glad I’m not able to move? No more ‘annoying bug’? Finally realizing who you’re dealing with?”

“What did I get into?”

“Definitely not into a mare for at least, let me sniff you a little, a year and a half.”

“Buck you.”

“At least be my dinner first.”

Crossing the street.

“Oof, be gentle!”

“You complain way too much for how hardcore you keep saying you are.”

“Being thrown into the atmoshpere and then falling back like a comet before making a crater in the garden of a crazy Celestiass fanatic who subsequently tried to stab and melt me gives me the right to complain as much as I want.”

“When you say it like that-”

“I’m back, commander.”

“Already harnessed to the cart, I see. I thought Start Trail wanted Puff to do it.”

“Puff is filling in the hole this changeling made.”

“How are you so Chrysalis-damn quiet with a freaking cart?!”

“Thestral talents.”

“Of what, hooves of jello? That wouldn’t even work when pulling the cart. You’re a unicorn, and you’re having fun at my expense. Ooooh, I see… mental torture, and you’re all in on it. I almost fell for your trick.”

“Commander, I think she maybe hit her head a little too hard?”

“I’d like to think this is temporary, yes, but I’m starting to have my doubts.”

“Hahaha, now that I’m onto you, you won’t get me again. I am as steady as a rock. My brain can resist mind control magic, and no amount of your silver tongue techniques will get anything from me. I am a changeling. We are the ones who fool and decieve.”

“Do you have the sheet, Bladehoof?”

“In the cart.”

“Did you just ignore me, pony?”

“The better I know you, the more I think that’ll be my survival strategy.”

“We’ll see who’s laughing when I’m laying eggs inside your br-mmhph!”

“Good throw, but we might need a thicker bedsheet, Bladehoof.”

“I’ll see what I can do, commander. Anything else?”

“No, let’s go before she or Star Trail try something stupid.”

“Don’t put me in the same bag as that maniac.”

“Stay under the blanket and be quiet. I don’t want a city-wide panic, and I’m sure you don’t want a mob with torches and pitchforks.”

“What, you ponies don’t have electricity in this butt of the world?”

“Alright, a mob with chainsaws and tasers.”

“Can you open the fence gate, commander? I’m not too agile with this much weight tethered to me.”

“Of course. Can you fit throu- yeah, you’re fine.”

“GOOD-BYE MISTER COM-MON CREST! GOOD-BYE MISS BLADE-HOOF! GOOD-BYE MISS ANGRY!”

“Bye, Puff!”

“See you later, Puff. Don’t forget the today’s practice.”

“That pony sounded a little… strange.”

“Say one bad thing about Puff and we’ll take you back to Star Trail.”

“I was just asking, geez.”

“Puff is a very nice stallion, albeit a little slow. He wants to be a policepony, and he’s physically more than capable, but- I’m doing it again, aren’t I?”

“Doing what?”

“Telling you information about ponies around you so that you’re less likely to make a mistake when attempting to escape.”

“I wasn’t- oh, right, you caught me again. Hahaha.”

“Damn it! Bladehoof, I think I might need to make you reposnsible for this change-”

“I believe you want to lower your voice, commander.”

“You’re right, you’re right.”

“Good afternoon, Common Crest, Bladehoof. What’s in the cart?”

“I’m a bag of potatoes!”

“Hey, it talks.”

“Bladehoof is just practicing her ventriloquism, miss Greenhouse.”

“Oh really? I had no idea she was this talented. It really sounded like the cart talking, a completely different voice and everything.”

“I’m a-”

“...torches and pitchforks...”

“-a batpony. I don’t sleep and I suuuuck bloooood. And maybe if he asks nicely even Crest’s d- OW!”

“You tripped on the sidewalk, poor thing. Come ot think of it, you do look positively exhausted.”

“I am fine, miss Greenhouse. In fact, commander Crest is giving me a paid evening off when we get to the station.”

“Our police chief is a big softie.”

“Cause no mare wants to make him ha-OW!”

“Are you sure about pulling that cart up the stairs? I know there’s just a few of those leading up to the door, but wouldn’t the back entrance be better?”

“Of course, miss Greenhouse. Bladehoof, push it back down and take it around the back.”

“Oh no no no-”

“Yes, commander.”

“Oh dam-OW!”

“I didn’t even see her mouth move.”

“She’s just THAT good, miss Greenhouse.”

“...mai heeedd...”

“Ehm, so as I said. We should head off. Have a nice day, miss Greenhouse.”

“I’ll stop by with some brownies later, Common Crest. That dear Palisade loves them.”

“...yeah, she even bakes some of her own...”

“Oh really? I should ask her for a recipe.”

“Aaaaand we’re already gone, miss Greenhouse. Bye!”

“Geeez, finally where nopony can see us. Bladehoof, can you-”

“Wzzhplh? I’M READY.”

“Did you just fall asleep while harnessed to the cart?”

“Only resting my eyes.”

“I’ll pretend I believe that. Now, I need you to take the changeling to the reinforced cell. Give her some- what do you changelings eat besides love?”

“What do you mean ‘besides love’?”

“You really can’t eat anything else?”

“Just give me some vegetables and I’ll see what I can do to you with them. Carrots or some big cucumbers.”

“...as long as you don’t do anything to yourself...”

“You’re the one to talk, blueballs.”

“Alright, that’s it! Just shove her into a cell, Bladehoof, and then get some rest. I’ll leave a note for Palisade to stay at the receptionist desk for the rest of the day.”

“Are you taking an afternoon off, commander?”

“Yes, I got a date.”

“You didn’t have to say that so loud, bluey. I can hear you juuust fine.”

“That can be changed...”

“Congratulations, commander. Mind if I ask with whom?”

“Pasta Plate’s daughter, Noodle.”

“Ooooh...”

“That didn’t sound reassuring. Do you have a problem with her, Bladehoof?”

“Not at all, commander. Enjoy your date.”

“And you your sleep. See you tomorrow. No need to salut- too late.”

“Protocol is important, commander.”

“Hey, batpony!”

“Yes… changeling?”

“Now that he’s gone. What’s wrong with this Noodle of his? Besides the obvious, heheheh.”

“There is nothing wrong with commander Crest’s ‘noodle’, bug. He is as much a stallion as any other. However, I usually patrol at night and Riverside isn’t the biggest city. Commander Crest wants something more than a one night stand, and from my observation Noodle does not.”

“But that just makes him more likely to have some fun, right?”

“Do you care, changeli- aaaaaugha?”

“Talking to you is my only way to pass time right now.”

“...”

“...”

“Batpony?”

“...”

“Bladehoof?”

“...”

“You’re hanging unconscious from the harness again, right? I can feel the cart tipping over.”

“...”

“Oh screw it, it’s warm in here. I may as well close my eyes for a moment.”

“...”

“Not that it makes any damn difference.”

Into the cell

“Hmph? You finally awake, batpony?”

“It hasn’t been even ten minutes, changeling. I’m used to power naps.”

“So, what now?”

“Now I get out of this harness and take you to your cell.”

“I guess it was dumb of me to ask- caaaareful with that, most of me is broken!”

“I don’t have a better way of getting you onto my back, so complaining is pointless.”

“Stupid, correct logic.”

“You’re very chatty, changeling.”

“If I could move, I would be very punchy and bitey.”

“You would make an interesting practice.”

“I would rip you to pieces.”

“Possibly. Damn, did the door hit you?”

“Just the hind leg. It’s more dull inconvenience than pain when I’m not hitting my head for once.”

“These safety doors shut quickly on their own. It sometimes makes it a pain in the plot, especially when carrying something fragile.”

“This place is pretty quiet. Not even a hoofste- this can’t be real, my ears must be damaged as well.”

“I am very quiet.”

“I’d be fine with quiet, you’re a damn ghost!”

“Boooooooo...”

“Not too scary.”

“You must be very, very brave. Careful again, this time it’s the cell door.”

“Keep that dry-ass tone to yourself, batpony. Making fun of the temporarily disabled...”

“I wasn’t being sarcastic.”

“What?”

“Blind, cannot move, and in the hooves of those who have all reasons to end your life. The fact that you not only aren’t begging, but also are still this… colourful tells me you either are extremely brave of terminally idiotic.”

“...”

“I decided it was the first option.”

“I might keep you around for feeding instead of killing you.”

“I’ll take that as a compliment. Now, this is going to be difficult since the ‘bed’ in here is just a plank of wood and we don’t keep sheets here when nopony is detained.”

“Just let me roll onto it.”

“Are you sure?”

“By the queen’s hypnotic marejuice, I am a freaking warrior, no matter how I look now. I can take-owwwwwwwwwwwwwwww buuuuuuucking stars above!”

“You said you could handle it.”

“Handling it -huff- in the -huff- best way -haaah- I can.”

“I’ll be back with the sheets. Don’t try anything stupid.”

“Like what, chewing my way out through the wall and dragging myself out with my maw?”

“...”

“Damn it, she’s gone again, but at least the door hinge creaked a bit this time. What to do…? What to do…? What CAN I do? Hmmm, not much, right this instant, but I don’t have the luxury to wait. The old fanatic will be sending his message to Canterlot any time soon, and then… how much time do I have? I must ask how far this Riverside is from Canterlot. I should have at least few days, though, unless they use their crazy magic. So… who should I go for?”

“The batpony is out of the question since most of the time I have no idea that she’s around. When my other senses return, it’ll be easier. Unlike the pegasus who is brimming with pent-up lust, she’s off the radar for now. Speaking of him, should I offer him something? If he keeps failing his dates, he should be receptive and maybe a little curious about me. Hmph, it all stands and falls with me being able to… stand and not fall.”

*Creak.*

“Mumbling to yourself already?”

“You heard me THROUGH the door?”

“Thestral hearing.”

“Are you some kind of superpony?”

“Not at all. Anyway, how do we do this? Do you mind lying on the floor for a moment?”

“Do you mind shoving me down from the bench?”

“Not at all. Here goes-”

“Mind the hea… d? You actually did hold my head. What gives?”

“Would you be happier if I just rolled you down without care?”

“Well, no, but… nevermind.”

“Good. Now let me do my job. I’ll try not to step on you.”

“Yeah… were you at least a little tempted to kick me down or something?”

“Not really. I have no qualms with crushing your skull if you’re causing trouble, but I see no meaning in senseless violence.”

“I was there when your beloved princess almost became my queen’s meal. I drained Royal Guards who stood in my way dry.”

“And then you lost everything and flew across half of Equestria. I do believe justice was served.”

“If I were at full power, I would be trying to kill or eat you.”

“And I would be defending myself with all my skill and strength. If I won, I wouldn’t show you mercy.”

“Hah, you win against me? Delusional.”

“Maybe. The bed is ready. This will be uncomfortable, because I have to pull you up with my forelegs.”

“Do it, batp- Bladehoof. I’m not some soft meat like you ponies. Uhgh!”

“There.”

“Grrr… damn...”

“You said-”

“Do you hear me complaining?”

“Hmm, I thought I just didn't give you enough time for that, but I guess you’re right. Do you need anything else?”

“Lie down next to me and expose your neck.”

“You’ve had your share of chances to bite both me and Commander Crest.”

“...”

“I’ll be off then.”

“Yeah, yeah.”

*Creak.* *Click*

“Hmph, biting the pegasus would be useless with the frothing maniac right next to him, but why didn’t I get her? Just a quick bite, then the steady flow of love fixing my body, and then I’m out of the city before anypony notices.”

“Was I… scared of her? Hah, clearly not. She freaking fell asleep in front of me. If I was just faking it she would be my slave willingly offering me her body and mind all the way back to the Badlands.”

“But still… she might be somepony to be wary of.”

“Hmph, getting inside my head. making me unsure of myself. Classic isolation tactic.”

“Ponies are just food. Don’t be fooled, Sixteen. They aren’t keeping you alive, they are just detaining you until the big boss comes and executes you in public for everypony to see.”

Finished

*Slam!*

“Sweet Celestia’s buns, she wasn’t kidding. It’s a changeling!”

“Whmh? A changeling trying to sleep, whoever freaking loudmouth you are...”

“You’re all cracked up and gooey.”

“Stop poking me.”

“What are the holes for?”

“Not for poking.”

“The green goop seeping from the cracks is real squishy. Is that like dried up blood?”

“I SAID STOP POKING ME!”

“Oh, ehm, yeah. I got a bit carried away. Wait, no. I’m here to check on you, prisoner.”

“Good, I feel thoroughly checked on. Now can you let me sleep so that I’m not ‘all cracked up and gooey’?”

“I brought you some carrots. Do you even eat vegetables? I thought you just like bit ponies and then sucked life out of them.”

“...I never thought I would miss the batpony...”

“Did you say something?”

“No, no, I didn’t. And no, we don’t suck life out of anything… although I’ve heard certain stories of infiltrators working as escorts.”

“So, about the food.”

“Just leave the vegetables here. I’m sure the power of my will is enough to make them waltz over to this ‘bed’ and into my mouth.”

“Ehm, you can’t move, right?”

“Does angry scowling at being woken up counts?”
“You can’t move, like at all?”

“No, I’ve been talking to you telepathically this past few minutes, and I’m getting serious echo from inside your head.”

“No need for that. I’m just trying to pass time.”

“Let me guess, you’re Palisade.”

“In the flesh. You see, it’s because this muscular barrel and plot that I can be the bounce- wait, they call it a riot shield in the force. Not that there have been riots in Riverside in like forever, so I guess I’m the shield of the police. Look, even my cutie mark is a piece of palisade with a shield crest on it.”

“I’m blind.”

“Oh… oh. Right, youe eyes are kind of misty. Aren’t they supposed to be like blue and buggy? Hey, you know what always cheers me up-”

“What drugs are you on?”

“You mean right now or in general?”

“Forget I asked.”

“Hmm… sooo you can’t move and you’re blind, right?”

“At least your hearing is in working order- hey, what are you doing down there?!”

“Umm… checking for deeper wounds. Yeah, that’s right.”

“With your muzzle? I can feel your hot breathi- ha aah??”

“Just leaning in to see better.”

“You licked me!”

“An accident. I tend to lick my lips while concentrating.”

“Then lick yours, not mine! I’m a warrior, not some infiltrator wh… hmm… aren’t you disgusted by me?”

“You’re a pony with chitin instead of coat, sharp teeth, and fly wings- oops, currently without those. Your mane is dry and still sticky with goo in place, but you’re still a pony, especially down here. Honestly, I’m more curious than bothered.”

“I see that- well, feel that your head is still between my thighs.”

“I didn’t hear a clear ‘go away’ yet.”

“That’s a reaction I wasn’t expecting.”

“Riverside is a boooooooring place. I’d move away if it wasn’t for the steady traffic of tourists from all over the world. Excitement like this is completely unique. A minotaur here, a diamond dog there, but you changelings can shapeshift into anything.”

“Trust me, the only way I could shapeshift now is if you put me inside a press.”

“You know, there might be something in this for both of us.”

“Oh? Are you interested in… damn, just pretend I’m wiggling my backside seductively.”

“Now you’re speaking my language. So, how about that? I get something new, and you get a bit of… soft touch and I heard you could feed of of lust. Think of it as a little something, a painkiller maybe. I don’t want to sound full of myself, but I often get compliments for my skill.”

“Hmmm, so why don’t you stop talking and make me full of yourself?”

“Mmphmh.”

“Eee- eeeager for a pony.”

“A mare knows how to please a mare.”

“Less- haah- less talking. K-keep g- going. Mhmmm.”

“Yes, mistress.”

“Hmm, this quickly? I guess earthpony mind is this easy to break. Isn’t it, pet?”

“Yes, mistress.”

“Drop the formaliies, we don’t have much time. You like when I call you a pet, right?”

“Yes.”

“Obedient, loving pet full of desire. I can feel it flowing through me already. Keep going.”

“Mhph.”

“You thought I had to bite you, earthpony. What a foolish superstition. We changelings can go with magical mind control, hypnotic voice and eyes, chemical triggers in our saliva and all other fluids. Of course, we have venom sacks as well which are the most potent. You’d love me to bite you and wipe you completely clean, right? To be my protector on the way back to the Hive, to offer me your body and mind for food and pleasure, and then to feed all my kind for the rest of your days, right?”

“Yessss...”

“Ahahahahaha, so full. This was so easy. Foolish ponies thought they could restrain me, but with just few words they are mine. I’d have preferred to fight my way out, but a changeling has to use all talents at her disposal, even those normally… beneath her.”

*Knock knock*

*Click*

“Damn, who-!”

“Sorry, miss Pali-sade, miss angry. Am I in-ter-rup-ting some-thing?”

“The idiot. Get rid of him!”

“Miss Pali-sade, what are you do-hnng?!”

“Should I kill him?”

“I'm stuffed, he's useless to me now."

“Miss Pa-li-s...”

*Thud*

“Hope that noise didn’t wake up the bat. I have enough energy now, just let me fix these wound- aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!”

“Mistress?”

“It doesn’t work. It hurts! IT HURTS! I’m on fire! IT’S GETTING WORSE! IT’S NOT HEALING! It’s not healing. It hurts… it hrrng...”

*Gurgling*

“Haaah haaaah haaah haaah. I… I’m… dead… too damaged… crippled… forever...”

“Mistress?”

“May… as well… release you. Nothing matters… anymore. I’m beyond... help. A burden... to the... Hive.”

“Huh, what? Puff?! PUFF?! What did I do? Earth below, breathe, Puff, breathe!”

“What by Luna’s stars happened here?”

“Oh… yes… it’s the… bat. Time to meet… my fate. I did all… I could.”

Hopeless

“Palisade, stop doing pushups on Puff, you idiot!”

“He’s not breathing!”

“GET OFF OF HIM! Much better- haaah- phoo- haaa- phooo- haaa-”

*Cough cough cough.* *Wheeze.*

“PUFF!”

“Did you completely forget the first aid courses? Heart massage without mouth to mouth...”

“Sorry, I didn’t pay much attention. I never thought this would-”

“No excuses, you’re going through them again, and this time stay away from any and all questionably legal substances. That settled, Palisade, I hate to repeat myself. What the hay happened?”

“I- I-”

“Puff, can you speak?”

“Croak, miss Blade-hoof.”

“That’ll have to do. What happened?”

“Mister Star Trail sent me to check on miss angry, and when I saw the re-cep-tion-ist desk empty, I read the mes-sage that you were slee-ping in a cell, and looked for you. One cell was cracked open, so I went in and saw miss Pali-sade-”

“He saw me eating the changeling out.”

“...”

“...”

“I… see. Is that true, changeling?”

“Yes.”

“Did you make her do it?”

“At first, no.”

”Luna damn it, Palisade! What were you thinking?!”

“I wasn’t-”

“CLEARLY! And you could have killed Puff.”

“I am fine, miss Blade-hoof.”

“Luckily. If the changeling’s screaming didn’t wake me up you’d be dead.”

“I am sure mister Star Trail would find another ass-is-tant.”

“That’s not the problem, Puff. Think of your mom, what would she think if you got choked out by some stupid horny earthpony?”

“Do we have to tell her all that?”

“Thankfully not! Palisade, back to the front desk.”

“I can-”

“You’ve done enough. Go. Stand. In. The. Damn. Lobby!”

“Yes, ma’am.”

“And don’t give me the puppy eyes. You’ll need all your begging power for Commander Crest tomorrow.”

“Yes, ma’am...”

“If you don’t help the changeling enslave the whole city overnight...”

“...that was unnecessary, Bladehoof.”

“You don’t have any right to talk anymore, Palisade. Be happy that I don’t shove you in the cell next to hers. I guess my eight hours of sleep will have to wait a week or two more.”

“...yes, ma’am… sorry, ma’am… I won’t do it again, ma’am...”

*Click.*

“Puff, you can go tell Star Trail things are fine.”

“Yes, miss Blade-hoof.”

“Oh, and remind him to send the message to Canterlot immediately. Whether they make a public case out of this bug, rend her brain for information with magic, or just dissect her is not my business, but the sooner they take her away the better.”

“Okay.”

“And if even a friend attacks you, Puff, don’t hesitate next time.”

“ But I want to protect ponies.”

“Sometimes you have to protect them from themselves.”

“Mhm, I’ll be off then. Have a nice day, and please don’t yell at miss Pali-sade anymore.”

“I doubt she’ll even remember it tomorrow. She’s like that.”

*Click.*

“So, changeling, we’re alone again.”

“Don’t bother trying to sound sinister. I don’t care anymore.”

“What happened?”

“Does it matter?”

“I suppose it doesn’t, I’m chaining you to the wall anyway, so if you just twitch wrong you’ll have a new hole. I was just curious.”

“The earthpony wanted some excitement in her life. She offered to feed me some of her lust in a way which would ease my pain and give her the adventure she craved.”

“I’m guessing it didn’t work as planned.”

“You think?”

“Hmm, that was without the usual amount of venom and sarcasm. Aaand done, shackled. I’ll be keeping the key on myself, so don’t even try some mind control stunt on anypony again.”

“I won’t.”

“That sounded almost believable.”

“Do I have to spell it out for you? I’m done. My life doesn’t matter anymore.”

“The complete one-eighty sounds even less believable.”

“Bat, your words can’t hurt me. Your weapons and acids mean nothing. I am finished. I drained enough lust from that mind controlled moron to be able to recover from half of my body missing, but...”

“You are still lying here -well, sitting chained to the wall- and able to move only your mouth.”

“For regeneration, we need some healthy part to rebuild from and a lot of energy. I had more than enough of the latter, but I am too damaged all over for proper healing to work. With how limited the resources of the Hive were even before the massacre in Canterlot I am now just a burden. I will never be able to recover, I know that well enough. I was a warrior, and my body was made for that. The best shape I’ll ever be able to achieve again if I’m ‘lucky’ is a slowly limping cripple unable to transform.”

“You deserve that.”

“...”

“Anyway, I saw the results of your attempt to escape, and Star Trail will be sending the message about you as soon as he can. You can try your sob story on Commander Crest tomorrow. I’ll be sure to watch.”

“Do what you want, bat.”

*Slam!*

“Argh- oww- grrgh...”

“Hmm, a hoof to the face does sometimes help.”

“...”

“And no, that’s not what I want. What I want is to see you slowly roasted on open flame, but this is what I’ll have to settle for.”

“I don’t care. Changeling Sixteen is now just a rank for someone new to take. My value for the Hive is gone, and with it my care for you or anyone else.”

Gloomy

*Click*

“Good morning, miss angry.”

“Don’t waste your words on it, Puff.”

“What do you want?”

“To see you covered in drying goo and chained to the wall, honestly. It warms my old heart.”

“Look as much as you want.”

“Ohoho, where’s the fire from yesterday, where’s all the fight in you? Ran out of bravado when your insect brain finally realized your situation?”

“...”

“Anyway, I’m here to share some good news with you.”

“For some reason I seriously doubt that.”

“It’ll brighten your- well, my day. I sent a message to Canterlot about you and added the recount of what you did yesterday just for good measure. If the Royal Guards take a sky chariot they should be here tomorrow, so… enjoy your last day. I’ll be sure to make time for a visit to Canterlot when you’re to be burned at stake.”

“Fine.”

“Heh, oh and one last thing, bug. Puff is helping out with police duties here in Riverside, which also means taking care of the police station while other members of the force are busy. That includes you as a… criminal. He might not be the brightest knife in the spoon, but he’ll make a fine squire or even a paladin one day so if you do anything to him… let’s just say that I have contacts in high places who have fought against evil their entire life by my side, and we’ll make you beg for a good and quick burning.”

“Great.”

“Alright, Puff, I’ll be off. If she as much as breathes funny don’t hesitate to run that broom through her neck.”

“I’ll try to de-tain her, mister Trail, and call for ass-is-tance.”

“Crest is in his office if you need him, and I’ll be at home. Bladehoof should be here in few hours, and Palisade has a day off for ‘recovery’. Frankly, I’d fire her… into the sun.”

“I make mis-takes a lot. She will do better next time.”

“I hope not. If she was a bit more successful we wouldn’t be having this conversation.”

“She-”

“I have to go, got a meeting with the mayor regarding our temporary burden.”

“...burden...”

“Did you say something, changeling?”

“No.”

“Pity. See you later, Puff.”

“Later, mister Star Trail.”

*Door clicking*

“Umm, miss angry, I have to touch you now.”

“What?”

“You’re all messed up, and I have a washcloth and warm water to clean you.”

“Don’t bother. It’s a waste of time.”

“It’s in the re-gu-la-tions. I have to provide ass- ass-is-tance to ponies who can’t take care of them-selves.”

“Ponies.”

“Even the hair-less ones. I can bring you a toi-let bucket if you want, I don’t mind. I’m not sure how you change-lings work.”

“We eat love and shit rainbows.”

“Real-ly?”

“No. Just do your business. I won’t bother you.”

“Awww...”

“Hngh!”

“Does it hurt when I wash the cracks like this?”

“Stings. Wash it, not scrub around the cracks- nevermind. Just do your job, pony.”

“My name is Puff.”

“Why?”

“Why what?”

“The name. Why are you called that?”

“I’m big, cuddly, warm, and, umm, a bit of a scatterbrain.”

“You do have huge hooves. Meh, and you’re still smarter than most changeling drones from the hive. Some of them had to think about their job of carrying eggs so hard they hit the walls while walking. Hmph… I’m saying this as if I'm still better than them.”

“Now your muzzle is all clean, and you’re not even seeping from the cracks anymore. Your mane still feels really dry. I can bring you some shampoo later if you want.”

“Right, the thing for washing mane...”

“You don’t know what a shampoo is?”

“I know about it, we changelings share knowledge and some experiences, but I’ve never left Badlands before the invasion. We didn’t have anything like that in the Hive.”

“I’ll be sure to come back with it then. I bet it’ll make that grey mane of yours feel much better. Umm, I need to wash your bar-rel.”

“So?”

“I was told to always ask before touching a mare. They don’t normal-ly ask when hug-ging me, though.”

“I don’t care where you touch me. Use me if you want, see if I give a damn.”

“Okay.”

“Atsss...”

“Sorry, you have a this long crack on your barrel. I’ll have to bandage it. Don’t take this the wrong way, but your belly is really soft compared to the rest of you.”

“High-tier changelings have additional armor around their barrels, but mine broke during the fall or when I hit the ground, I can’t remember. I’m more vulnerable than a drone now.”

“I’ll be as care-ful as I can then.”

“Hssss...”

“Sorry.”

“Keep going. I’m starting to think it’s making you feel better more than me.”

“I’m getting to your… thighs now.”

“Thanks for the info- right, you have to ask before touching. Do what you have to.”

“Mind if I ask what the holes are for?”

“When mommy changeling likes daddy pony very much, she stabs the spike on her ovipositor through his skull and lays eggs in his brain.”

“Aaaaaaah!”

“Don’t be so dramatic. It doesn’t hurt the changeling and I have yet to hear a pony complain. They normally only gurgle. Our general consensus is that it’s in pleasure.”

“That’s horrible! I meant the ones in your legs, though.”

“Cup holders.”

“Cool!”

“We truly are the masterpieces of evolution.”

“Aaand the hooves. Done! Well, I mean your front. I can’t really reach your back with you being chained so close to the wall.”

“I tried to kill you, and the thing bothering you is not being able to wash my back?”

“Miss Pali-sade tried to kill me, and she didn’t mean it.”

“I made her.”

*Sigh*

“Do you hate me?”

...

...

...

“No. You were… in the way. I had all the love I could eat, and you were just… superfluous. Leaving you alive would have made my escape more difficult.”

“Do you hate ponies?”

“You are food, nothing more, nothing less.”

“So you like us!”

“How did you come to that crazy conclusion?”

“I like car-rots so I eat them a lot. You eat ponies, so you must like us. If you didn’t like us, you wouldn’t eat us.”

“We have to eat to survive, and you ponies happen to be the most accessible prey around.”

“Cats and dogs can love you a lot, and they eat less than ponies.”

“I...”

“So you must like ponies.”

“In a cocoon and feeding or serving me.”

“But you like us. You didn’t come to Canterlot to kill everypony.”

“Well, no, not exactly.”

“See?”

“You’re making my brain melt.”

“Mister Star Trail says comic books did that to me, but he doesn’t mean it.”

“Alright, I don’t hate you, the horny earthpony, or the crazy bat. I have yet to decide on that pegasus boss of yours. Who I DO despise down to his senile brain is the rotten bastard who dragged me down to his cellar and poured acid over me.”

“That would be mister Star Trail. He’s tea-ching me so that I can be a pa-la-din one day. Anyway, I’m glad you’re in a better mood now.”

“Why? I’m not going to be here for more than a day. Why do you care?”

“Because you like me.”

“I don’t- oh screw it, you’re just that dumb. Fine, you can be my personal lunchbox if I ever recover, which won’t happen, or I don’t get executed, which will very much happen. I’ll even let you choose if you want a cocoon hanging from the ceiling or one on the floor.”

“Can I get a pet?”

“What would a- yes, yes, I’ll tame you your own Badlands scorpion.”

“I prefer cats. They are cuddly.”

“...little bastard thought I was a scratching post...”

“Miss angry?”

“Yes, you can get a cat.”

“Thank you.”

“...this conversation physically hurt my head...”

“Anyway, I’ll be off now. I still have to clean the floors and when miss Blade-hoof returns from her business we’ll be practicing sword-fight-ing.”

“Good. Kick her ass for me.”

“I’ll do my best.”

*Shufffling of hooves* *Door shutting*

“Hmph, at least I’m getting better at identifying these random noises.”

“So… they’ll be coming tomorrow then.”

“Time for some rest so I don’t crack when they squeeze me for information. The last thing a broken pile of chitin like me can do is protect our secrets.”

Unsure

*Door opening click*

“Yes?”

“It’s me, Common Crest.”

“And still as backed up as the last time we saw each other… or you saw me.”

“Two seconds.”

“What?”

“The time you needed to make me want to go away and let you wither in here.”

“I’ll note it as my personal best. Anyway, if you’re here to threaten me then don’t even bother.”

“To be honest, I’m happy nopony got seriously hurt. I don’t really want to ruin my mood by thinking about who caused it and how.”

“You can go on and punch me like the bat did, I won’t resist… nor really care..”

“Yeah, that’s kind of why I’m here. No matter what happened, Bladehoof should have controlled herself better. Hitting a harmless prisoner is against the regulations.”

“Calling me harmless hurts more than any beating I could go through, and, honestly, if you’re more mad at her than at me then you are crazy.”

“It might be surprising to you, but I am. You see, she’s supposed ot adhere to a strict moral code unlike you. Being angry that you did what you were expected to is a waste of time and emotions.”

“Is that all? Don’t get me wrong, I’m still quite enjoying your distraction from the voices in my head reminding me I am now completely worthless to anyone.”

“Which brings me to the second reason for coming.”

“Because you didn’t last night?”

“I choose to ignore that comment about my not entirely successful love life.”

“That completely accurate comment.”

“Look, do you want to go outside for a while or not?!”

“Is there an ‘I don’t care either way’ option? Whether you impale me on a pike in the garden or let me sit here until mold grows on my chitin, it doesn’t matter to me.”

*Sigh*

“You’re testing me, changeling. Puff came to my office and begged me to take you outside so that you’re not super gloomy anymore. His words, not mine. And you just can’t say no to that guy when he does the puppy eyes.”

“...yeah, he got me even without those...”

“What did you just mutter?”

“That I’d need some heavy drugs from your Palisade pony’s stash to celebrate my incoming death- HEY! What do you think you’re doing?”

“Unlocking the shackles. I’m sure you know the next step.”

“Hmph, you’re getting better at carrying a limp mare on your back. Training for the inevitable time when you slip some pills into a mare’s drink in horny desperation?”

“...”

“Okay, keep that furious breathing to yourself, I was kidding… mostly.”

“I would NEVER do that, changeling. I don’t know what you think about ponies, but forcing myself on somepony is something I’ll never stoop to. EVER. No matter what.”

“Gee, I struck a nerve there. Guess you’ll be needing the sunlight a lot more than I now.”

“...a changeling putting my morals into question...”

“Alright, I’m sorry. Aaaand I almost fell down with that sharp stop. Did I piss you off even more?”

“Did you just say ‘sorry’?”

“No. Keep going. I’m sliding down from your back because you decided to stop on the stairs.”

“I’m pretty sure I heard-”

“Nothing. Keep going or I’ll bite you and make you.”

“I would have never guessed that a word like that would be in your- ouch!”

“Which part of ‘there is a changeling on your back with her maw next to your neck’ did you not understand? Now shut up and keep going.”

“ Yes… I am walking now. Dizzy...”

“Oh it was just a little bit of venom. Stop being a larva.”

“Huh? I feel weird… but hey, I’m still me. I BEAT CHANGELING MIND CONTROL! Suck it, Palisade!”

“She did, very much so.”

“You’re a female. Wrong choice of words.”

“You have no idea.”

“I cherish my ignorance on that subject.”

“If I wasn’t a pile of broken chitin, I would gladly enlighten you. I think you’d look great with a belly full of eggs.”

“Last time you promised some brain egg injection thing.”

“I’m not in any condition to hit a target of that size.”

“You’re just sour I’m not your obedient toy like Palisade.”

“You’re not obeying my every command only because I didn’t bother biting you hard enough, and you know why? Because I stand to gain nothing. I got all the love I could drain from the earthpony and I still couldn’t use it. My body is broken beyond repair no matter how much love I pour into it. My. Existence. Is. Over.”

“You could have ordered me to go on a killing spree just for revenge.”

“Don’t tempt me.”

“Why didn’t you?”

“Because I didn’t want to lie on the floor while you ran around seeing red and frothing.”

“We’re heading through the main lobby now.”

“I don’t give a-”

“Hello again, miss angry. Hello again, mister Crest.”

“Hi, Puff. Done cleaning?”

“I’ve just put everything away. Unless you really need something, I’ll be going back for my training with mister Trail.”

“...you’ll be much better off if you don’t learn anything from that crazy fanatic...”

“I can hear you mumbling, changeling.”

“I can feel your wings brushing against my thighs.”

“That’s for support.”

“Ooof course it is.”

“Miss angry is already a lot more chatty than before. See? She’ll feel much better in the garden.”

“Yeah, I’m really looking forward to it.”

“...I can still be very unfriendly, pegasus...”

“Off we go! Have fun, Puff.”

“Bye.”

“That was far more effective than I hoped.”

“A mind-controlling creature whispering threats into my ear about forcing me to go berserk and kill my friends is not something I can just ignore.”

“Now that’s the kind of respect I… don’t deserve anymore.”

“Come on, if you hang your head in complete defeat like that it makes me feel bad for some reason.”

“Perhaps I should have stayed with the paladin. It’d have been quicker and less annoying than this.”

“We’re just trying to be accommodating.”

“Why- aah?!”

“Ow, my flank...”

“Screw your flank, I thought I couldn’t feel my legs, but this hurt...”

“It’s the damn safety door, it-”

“Closes really quickly, I know, the bat told me.”

“Hmm, now where to put you so that you’re out of sight?”

“Just shove me into some tool shed or something.”

“Don’t be like that or I’ll bring Puff to cheer you up again.”

“I’ll bite you and make you fly into the sturdiest wall!”

“That’s more like it. You mind lying on the lawn? I can bring a deck chair if it’s a problem.”

“...somepony please grab a rock and bash my head in...”

“Lawn it is then. Now if I just keep the wings up and bend at the knees, you might roll off of my back without too much- oops, sorry.”

“No problem, I like the taste of dirt and… that’s not grass.”

“Flowerbed. Some purple things with long leaves. Palisade planted then, I honestly know nothing about plants.

“Great, when am I going to start seeing rainbow dragons?”

“She’s not that one-dimensional. She likes normal flowers a lot for such a big and buff mare. Honestly, I would have expected swords and such to be her hobby, but no, it’s flowers. I guess it’s an earthpony thing.”

“And that concludes the next edition of facts I couldn’t care less about. See you next week with ‘how much coffee does a batpony need to drink to stay awake for hundred and twenty hours straight’.”

“I get it, you want to be left alone. Ah hah- there it is! I should have guessed Puff would put it away.”

“I’m sure I’ll regret asking, but what are you talking about?”

“This!”

“Ah yes, I can hear the triumph in your voice and the desire to share this moment of minor victory with me, I can even imagine you holding up the sought object in your hoof for the world to know, but you might have forgotten I can’t see shit.”

“It’s a dog leash.”

“You exist to disappoint me, pegasus.”

“No, you see, I can’t just leave you here, but there’s a pole in the middle of the garden to which this can be attached.”

“You think a dog leash would be enough in case this really was some elaborate ruse of mine to escape? You’re literally the worst police pony e- what the actual freaking kind of dog was this for?!”

“The previous police chief owned a hellhound.”

“This chain could hold an anchor!”

“Ever seen a hellhound?”

“No.”

“Let’s just say the dog is responsible for my recent promotion and the sudden need for a new police crew for Riverside.”

“There are spikes on this thing.”

“He called the hellhound Fluffy.”

“How did you ponies make it out of the stone age?”

“Raw luck, according to our historians. Anyway, now that you can’t easily run off-”

“I have a collar the weight of an anvil around my neck and I can’t move on my own. On top of that, if I believe in your ability to fasten a chain to a pole made for it, which is a big if at this point, I’m tied down harder than a ship in a harbor. You’re almost making me feel like a real threat again.”

“See? Puff was right about you feeling better.”

“...I hate all of you...”

“So, as I was saying, I’ve got some work to do. I’ll come back to check on you in an hour or two.”

“Good, I can still hope the sun moves enough for me to fry.”

“An hour it is then. See you later.”

“Don’t let the-”

“OW- freaking, stupid murder door!”

“Moron.”

…

“Finally, some peace and quiet.”

“Kinda boring. The muffled town noises are no replacement for-”

“Wait, did I just admit I miss their irritating yammering?”

“I see, lost, alone and broken… I’m just going crazy, that’s all. If I could, I would facehoof.”

“It… moved? Yes, here it is again. An inch, but my fetlock moved.”

“Meh, may as well keep trying.”

“Do or die, and I honestly don’t care which.”

“Who am I kidding? I know the best shape I can ever get into again is a limping, blind cripple.”

“Alright, do or die it is. And let’s hope for the latter.”

Betrayed

“Ha haa! I touched my muzzle, and it took only a decade or so. Alright, alright, what’s the next step? Nothing, since I won’t move due to the damn collar. What is it made of, heavytanium? The only metal which wouldn’t budge after a comet hit it. The world could end, seas could boil, and sky could rupture and rain fire, and this damn thing would still hold me here.”

“Should I ask the idiot to take it off when he arrives to check on me? I mean, he’s apparently a sucker for puppy eyes. Note to self - not actual ones. Hmm… pointless. If he knew I could move then he would probably nail me to something. I should let him nail me, just out of pity… and for decent lunch. Maybe as a snack for the trip to Canterlot.”

“Did I just say what I think I did? I’m a warrior, for Queen’s sake, not some common infiltrator who has to crawl through clubs to survive. I get my love from the Queen herself or those who she feeds to me.”

“I was all that. Now I’m having a minor celebration because I moved my hoof to my muzzle over the course of a morning. Wait… wait wait wait wait… what is this? Another changeling? Now, even I can sense you, don’t pretend you can’t sense me, whoever you are.”

“Hmm, can’t even send a mental order to another ling anymore. But he or she… no, defnitely he should know I tried to make contact. He can’t be far if I can feel his presence.”

“I heard you stopping and I sure as Tartarus can feel you watching me. Speak!”

“Well, well, well, a warrior chained to a pole like a dog. Did you let the policeponies use you so that they would allow you to go outside?”

“Such insolence, infiltrator! Don’t presume I would use the low-grade methods of your kind. Now come here and carry me out of this damn place.”

“Ahahahahah, good one.”

“That was an order, infiltrator!”

“And that was a laugh, warrior. I’d comment on the fall damaging your head, but everyone knows you warriors are only good for one thing - to be released when needed, and then put into dormant state afterwards.”

“How dare you?!”

“Easily. I am out here, and you are a pile of trash imprisoned on the other side of this fence. Actually, just the fact that you’re behind a picket fence a larva could climb speaks volumes about you.”

“THEN HELP ME!”

“Whatever for? The few of us who have gathered here are having hard time gaining some influence already. What makes you think you are worth sharing love with? You have nothing to offer us.”

“I have love. I took it from the police earthpony!”

“Oh, really?”

*Crunching of hooves landing on grass.*

“Oh my, you weren’t lying. Perhaps there might still be a use for you after all.”

“Took you long enough to understand, but I knew even an infiltrator would get it eventually. Now get the damn chain off of me and-”

“A warrior insulting my intelligence, oh dear. No, you worthless sack of chitin shards, you still don’t understand. I’m here for the love, not you. But hey, warriors aren’t known for their brains.”

“What are you doing? Don’t you dare! Don’t you fucking dare! Don’t you… hnng.”

“Mmmmmm, delicious, and so plentiful. The things I could do with this much love.”

“...”

“Oh, stopped talking already? Don’t worry, I won’t kill you. I’ll leave you with just the tiniest scrap of love so you can feel the agony of starvation before you become a cracked, dry husk.”

“...help me...”

“The ponies will help you, just not in the way you want. You see, once they get rid of you they will feel safe, giving us real survivors a chance to recover. We are the Hive. You are not anymore, you are just a drain on our resources. We will reunite with our Queen, and rebuild. If your corpse is the price, then you can rot!”

“OOF! You didn’t.. have to... kick me.”

“True. That was completely voluntary. You warriors act all high and mighty, looking down on the rest of us, but you have no clue who does the real work. I, myself, enjoy some good old poetic justice.”

“Hnnngh...”

“Aaand the last drop of that sweet love reserve is mine. I haven’t felt this strong in ages. You had all this at your disposal and couldn’t use it. I see, I was wrong to call you a warrior. You’re not even a drone now. At best, you’re useful as a relief toy for your pony owners. Did you hear? OWNERS! You have no control, no choice, nothing. You are a thing. If they choose to use you, you won’t do anything about it. If they kill you, you’ll just lie there like a log. And you know what the best part is, thing?”

*Crack!*

“Such a soft belly. You ‘high-tier’ females look so great when completely broken.”

“Auugh…. owowowowowow...”

“Oh, I got distracted - the best part? That you’ll never get better. But look on the bright side.”

“...owwwww… aah.. haaah...”

“It won’t last long.”

“...oww...”

“Wait, I’ve got an idea!”

*Click click click*

“See? You’re free. Now the ponies won’t let you out of your cell again nor listen to anything you might have to say, isn’t that great? An almost successful escape attempt. Let me just drag you over to the fence, hang your foreleg like this and the other one like this. Should I break one hind leg just in case? Yeah.”

*Crack!*

“...hnng...”

“No strength to cry out anymore? Not even a little? I knew you were a shitty warrior the second I saw you. Aaand done. See how nicely you’re hanging from the fence? That’s how they’ll find you.”

“...useless...”

“Yes, you are. Don’t worry, though. You might die in agony, but the love I took from you might save more of us. See you never.”

*Whoosh* *Creak* *Clip clop clip clop clip clop*

“WHAT DO YOU THINK YOU’RE DOING?!”

“...b...a...t...”

“Get down! On the ground now! Now I’ve got you! Just lie there and don’t you dare move a muscle while I search you, bug!”

“...”

“Weird, I thought Puff cleaned all the wounds...”

“...”

“No matter. On my back you -down aand up- go, and-”

*Chomp!*

“Wha-?”

“...kill me...”

*Drawing of steel.*

“N-no!”

“...kill me...”

*Chomp harder.*

“NO!”

“...kill me...”

“Hnng. I… won’t.”

“...can’t… control… anymore...”

“I got chewed out enough. You will get your due process, changeling. I will restrain you if needed, but that is the extent of what I will do to you. Do you understand? You. Won’t. Challenge. Me. Again! Venom or not.”

“...”

“You’re going back to the cell.”

“...”

“And no, I won’t even let the damn door hit you. I will keep you safe all the way around the building. I will get you to the cell in the best shape I can. I will even call for Puff to wash you again, Careful so you don’t slide - steps down.”

“...”

*Door clicking open.*

“And down you go. Shackle one. Shackle two.”

“...”

“See you in court.”

*Door slam!*

“...just close my eyes...”

“Hello, miss angry.”

“...how long? Puff...”

“Don’t tell any-pony this. I brought a set of lon-ger chains. I’ll just switch these with mine. Here and here. Now I can carry you off to the bed and wrap you in a blanket like a change-ling bur-ri-to.”

“...they’ll see it… idiot...”

“Well, I’ll explain it some-how. I’ll come later to wash you up again.”

“...end this… please...”

“Do you need a hug? Every-pony needs a hug some-times. Here.”

“...can’t feel anything over the blanket...”

“There. I gotta go now, but I’ll be back to hug and wash you again.”

“...bring a… knife...”

“No. A spoon is a good idea though. And some soup. Anyway, bye!”

See-through

*MEGA DOOR SLAM!*

“WHAT DID YOU DO, BUG?!”

“For the last… day, was it? Sleep.”

“I’ll break that smug creature’s neck!”

“Stop it, Star Trail! You got your response, and it’s proper, all stamped and sealed.”

“There’s no way it’s real, Crest. Even you can’t be that stupid.”

“If I was able to give a damn, I would be asking what in Queen’s holes is going on, but I’m not, so I’ll keep lying here.”

“This. Read it!”

*Smack*

“Good job throwing that piece of paper at my face. At your age, I would have expected you to have worse aim. Your senile brain forgot two things, though.”

“Yeah, what?!”

“One, I can’t move. Two, I can’t see.”

“Cut that bull! Bladehoof saw you trying to climb over the fence in the garden, so that excuse isn’t going to fly.”

“...yeah, she totally did see that...”

“Oh, now you’re going to make up some nonsense about wind carrying you over there, right?”

“No. Nothing happened. Nothing making me choose between the hive as a whole and myself whatsoever. You are right, fanatic. I played you all and almost managed to escape, but I wasn’t strong enough to make use of the love I stole from Palisade and now it’s all gone. Good job, you got me.”

“That was oddly specific...”

“Shut up, Crest.”

“No, actually. You be quiet, Star Trail.”

“What?”

“The letter was clear. She’s to stay here under observation as a study case for a possible chance for rehabilitation and integration into society.”

“What?”

“You know that’s nonsense! There must be some changeling sympathizers in Canterlot who intercept messages about their lost kind. There is no damn way an order like this would be the princesses’ official stance on things.”

“I hate to agree with the fanatic, but that sounds incredibly stupid. Although, you ponies are kind of big on the whole compassion thing. Still...”

“Why the hay are YOU on his side? He wants you dead.”

“Painfully tortured for a long time, THEN dead, Crest. Get your facts straight.”

“Both of you SHUT UP! Good, now here’s the official stance of the law - the changeling is to be treated in the way the response from Canterlot ordered. Any transgressions against this will be treated as a crime no matter the offender. Are we clear, Star Trail?”

“You don’t have to worry about me, Crest, I’m leaving tomorrow.”

“Oh?”

“I’m going to Canterlot on my own. I still have contacts in high places and I’ll find whoever is responsible for this obviously fake order and make them burn.”

“I’m not sure if the rainbow mane of your huge-ass, literally, princess is flammable.”

“And you are next, bug.”

“I’ll be waiting. You can bet on that.”

“Crest, make sure she doesn’t move until I get back.”

“Yeah, you could break my legs- oh, wait.”

“Star Trail. Until I’m told otherwise, I will act according to the instructions in the letter.”

“You’ll regret it.”

“Even so, my post carries a lot of responsibility with it, and I will deal with it the proper way.”

“Yeah, well, if you’re a mind-controlled blob of green goo when I come back don’t go crying to me.”

“That’s not physically possible. I should know, I used to make ponies into mind-controlled blobs of green goo.”

“Heheh. Yep, Crest, you’ve got your work cut out for you. Oh, and one final thing before I go.”

“I don’t like that murderous glare, Star Trail.”

“You’ll beg for only a glare if something bad happens, because I’m leaving Puff here with you and… it.”

“I would think taking your squire to Canterlot would be an adventure for him.”

“Where I am going he won’t be allowed. So let me reiterate - if something happens to the stallion, your head will be put on a pike right next to the changeling’s.”

“I’ll be sure to conjure up the most horrified expression I can just for the occasion not to disappoint you, Star Trail.”

“Hmph. See you in few days, Crest.”

*Even angrier door slam!*

“Why does everypony keep doing that? The hinges are all wobbly. Note to self - tell Palisade to do some maintenance and make Puff watch.”

“Yes, yes, keep talking about the structural weakness of the prison with the dangerous prisoner around.”

“Who? Oh, sorry, you. You’re not dangerous, right?”

“...no, I’m not...”

“So, are you going to stick to your version of events? About you trying to climb over the fence.”

“Yes, you caught me. I can actually see a bit and before I ran out of love I could move, although slowly.”

“Now try the one about Red Riding Filly and the timberwolf.”

“Umm…?”

“I’ve been waving my foreleg at you while Star Trail was here, and I’m still doing it. You haven’t reacted in the slightest, not even to when I pretended to try to hit you and stopped my hoof.”

“I have excellent self-control.”

“You can’t see a thing. Plus, I questioned Puff about your shape in detail. You didn’t have broken leg and chitin on your belly nearly shattered to pieces. What happened?”

“You misjudged me and I failed my escape.”

“Are you really, really sticking to that story?”

“Think what you want, pegasus.”

“Alright, I will, which leads me to my reason for being here in the first place.”

“To laugh at a broken pile of flesh and chitin?”

“I’m not like that.”

“You should be. I don’t deserve anything better.”

“According to the orders I got from Canterlot you might.”

“There clearly is someone intercepting the messages and writing fake ones to prevent us wounded ones from being killed on the spot. Not even you ponies can be acting like this to your enemies.”

*Creak*

“What in Queen’s holes are you doing?”

“Sitting down on the bed.”

“Right. Fine, use me in any way you want. I won’t resist or try to control you like the earthpony.”

“Do you know what I really want to do to you right now?”

“You can do anything, didn’t you hear? I can’t move anything besides my mouth, and if you shove something in there you’ll be sorry… or maybe not. Come on, give it a shot. He- hey? That’s my mane, what little’s left of it.”

“Not used to having your mane stroked?”

“I’ve had it bitten off few times by some rebellious slaves.”

“Now it looks short, burned, and grey.”

“Grey is my colour.”

“Black chitin with the slightest hint of green and light grey mane and tail. I assume the belly plate was the same colour if your queen was anything to go by.”

“Queen Chrysalis was- is beautiful. I’m… a pile.”

“Not really. You’re smaller, cracked, but… I mean if you were a pony you wouldn’t look bad, proportions-wise.”

“Are we getting to the part where you use me? Becauce I don’t really care about anything you have to say.”

“Can I do something to make you feel a little better?”

“Snap my neck.”

“Can’t. Orders.”

“Clearly fake orders.”

“I’ll abide them until proven otherwise. So, can I bring you something? Vegetables, water, anything?”

“Your neck to my mouth.”

*Creak*

“Well?”

“Well what?”

“I’ve been leaning next to your muzzle for few seconds now and nothing.”

“I’m not interested. Desperate blueballed love tastes like crap.”

“You had no idea I did it until I spoke.”

“...”

“You can’t see anything. You can’t move on your own. You were found stuck on a fence with a broken leg you didn’t have previously. You are saying you were trying to escape. I’ve talked to ponies who were afraid or being blackmailed. To be completely honest, the first pony I would suspect of preparing a scene like that would be Star Trail, but he wouldn’t be that pissed off afterwards. I know you’re lying about what happened, I’m just not sure why, because unless I seriously misunderstood you, fear isn’t your thing.”

“...we warriors aren’t too gifted in the head department...”

*Sigh*

“I’ll be back in few minutes with few things, just try to rest up a little.”

“Sure, there’s always a chance that I won’t open my eyes again.”

Revealed

“And done. I must admit you held all steady and proper, making this much easier.”

“You propped me against the wall.”

“Details, details. Anyway, I changed the old bandages, cleaned the seeping goo, and added a splint to the broken leg. I suppose you’re still sticking to the story of your failed escape.”

“I suppose you haven’t managed to land a one-night stand yesterday.”

“I can still shove the splint where the sun doesn’t shine.”

“Try doing that with your dick, it’ll feel better. For you, I mean. Not sure if I would feel anything.”

“Hey, I’m a normally endowed individual.”

“I’m a blind, numb cripple. Your point?”

“Oh, that wasn’t a jab at my masculinity...”

“It was, but I knew I could talk my way out of it.”

“I’m glad you’re less gloomy than yesterday.”

“Listening to your prattling is the best way to pass time I have right now. May as well make my remaining few days a little more comfortable.”

“Speaking of comfortable, I talked to Bladehoof about you.”

“Told her not to snap my neck when she sees me next time?”

“She’s not like that. She was mostly pissed at herself for not adhering to the code of conduct of the police. No, she has some knowledge about bugs, don’t ask me where from, and we talked about your wounds.”

“Did you find a way to end my misery quickly and painlessly?”

“We discovered that you changelings have bones.”

“You ponies have ears, is that supposed to be news? I’m starting to have my doubts about your brains, though.”

“No, you don’t understand. Bugs don’t have bones, and if what happened to your leg happened to an insect relying only on an exoskeleton, your fetlock would be gone. In your case, the bone and flesh held while your chitinous exoskeleton got broken.”

“Still not with you on your little science project.”

“That means you might heal.”

“Ah, let me stop you right there. I can’t.”

“But-”

“What you found out is that I would be able to heal such wound under normal circumstances. You would be completely correct. When I was still a changeling instead of a pile of chitin shards I would have healed that instantly and obliterated your entire police ‘squad’ in the process. We changelings know the state of our bodies, and the parts of me responsible for healing the rest are broken beyond repair. No matter how much love I drain I won’t ever return to any reasonable shape. At best, I might be able to hobble around. I won’t see again, eyes are too delicate to repair even in a decent state.”

“Oh...”

“Cheer up, I might starve to death soon.”

“The fact that you can actually say that in such excited tone chills me to the bone.”

“What can I say, I’m an incurable optimist. Literally, in the ‘incurable’ part.”

“We’ll see what we can do about your unique brand of optimism. Now come on, just let me sling you over my back.”

“Ah yes, my usual mode of transportation. Wheee, and I’m up here. Oh all the sights I can see from this high up, the giant patch of Equestria I never even knew about.”

“Oh shush.”

“You’re insufferably nice, you know that? I kind of miss the lost hours of yesterday when you actually wanted to shove my head under a rolling cart. If I didn’t know most of that hospitality are just your hopeful blue balls talking, I might have even appreciated it.”

“I refute that allegation.”

“I know, I’m just a broken bug half-corpse.”

“No, no, no, you’re kind of pretty, actually. In a strange, alien way.”

“Hah, got you!”

“I simply believe that if coexistence is possible, we should do all we can to ensure it.”

“Of course coexistence is possible-”

“Not with ponies as ceiling decorations or vending machines for snacks.”

“Aww, you know me so well. Huh, fresh air? And nothing even hit me… we’re going through the front door, aren’t we?”

“Yes. I have informed the mayor about your situation, and while he was… terrified, to be honest-”

“Eeeexcellent.”

“While he was slightly unsettled by the idea, he respects the royal order.”

“Oh yeah, the fake letter.”

“Are you TRYING to get executed?”

“Yes, my existence is unneeded, bordering on unwanted, your point?”

*Sigh*

“Alright, I’m taking you to Star Trail’s house. It’s just across the street.”

“You want me to bleed on that bastard’s couch? Just say the word and I bite my tongue off. I had no idea you hated the old fart this much. I think I’m starting to like you.”

“No, shockingly. From what little I pieced together about your hive, you don’t know much about living in a house.”

“Four walls, doesn’t rain inside.”

“Yeah, there’s more to that. Star Trail’s house is large enough, and due to his history and, frankly, blatant paranoia it has certain features that will allow us to keep you where we want you without you having to be chained.”

“You know what else would keep me where you want me?”

“I’m listening with mild interest and growing worry.”

“Putting me down where you want me, you moron. I can’t use my fangs to drag myself forward.”

“So how did you get to the fence in the garden, hmm?”

“I- I- I felt better… momentarily before, before I slipped and got stuck.”

“You’re a terrible liar.”

“You’re terrible in bed!”

“Oh hey, Crest, have you tried to shag the changeling already? She seems to know you.”

“...buuuurn...”

“Morning, Dream Wing. You don’t seem bothered by seeing her.”

“It, Crest, it. And no, mayor Parchment informed me about the current situation, of course, and I advise you to use your time well. Once the bug proves there is no way we can be around them, you’ll lose your legal living fleshlight for good. Hey, they might give you the rest to play with after they chop her head off. Ta ta-”

“Screw you, Wing.”

“Never again, Crest, not even in your dreams.”

“...”

“Okay, I don’t mean to sully our potential interspecies relationship, but whoever that mare was, she was a bitch. No, she was what would happen if a cunt and a bitch had an aborted larva, that larva survived out of sheer spite, and became an asshole.”

“You don’t know half of it. I used to date Dream Wing for about half a year, and I’m never touching anypony from high society ever again.-”

*Knock knock knock*

“-Puff, we’re here!”

“Morning, mister Crest. Morning, miss angry.”

“Have you been tending the garden, Puff? I thought you usually train with Bladehoof at this time of day.”

“She didn’t come. I think she fell asleep somewhere again. Please don’t be mad at her.”

“It’s fine, Puff. I owe her enough for a paid year’s worth of sleep. Did you prepare the guest room?”

“Yes, I did.”

“The fanatic is going to rip your legs off for letting me stay in his home. He’ll probably buy a tub of insecticide when he comes back, pour it all over the house, and then set the house on fire when he finds out.”

“Look, you worry about getting better and learning about ponies. I’ll worry about Star Trail. You-”

“Why did you stop? I’m still listening.”

“I realized I have no idea about your name, and I can’t in good conscience call you a prisoner or changeling anymore.”

“No rank, no name, no use. Simple. I made it all the way to sixteen before the explosion. I was THAT good. If that isn’t a proof that I could single-hoofedly capture your city then I don’t what is. Now it doesn’t really matter anymore, does it...”

“We could give you a pony name based on your traits. Like Buggy Bitey.”

“It’s been few minutes in which I haven’t considered you worth killing, pegasus. Thank you for reminding me.”

“No, I mean like if there was something you were good at… weapon related maybe?”

“While I’d absolutely ADORE the name Pony Stabber, I doubt it would work well with your whole coexistence plan.”

“What about miss Angry?”

“Puff-”

“I will find a way to make this body work in order to make you break yourself so painfully your unborn foals will scream in agony for eternity.”

“See, mister Crest? She didn’t really mean the threat. How about Half-hearted Fury? That sounds pretty cool.”

“I like the Fury part, but I refuse to seem lazy. How about Thunderfury?”

“Sounds like an epic-looking legendary weapon rather than a pony name. I’m noting Half-hearted Fury as your new name.”

“I’M NOTING THE DATE OF YOUR LONG OVERDUE DEMISE!”

“She likes it, mister Crest.”

“Good job, Puff. Let’s show our guest her new temporary home.”

“...I guess I don’t deserve to be taken seriously...”

“Dad, dad! That pony is like from an action movie, her legs are full of holes! Did she fight some evil griffons?”

“...oh dear, and I foolishly thought we could get through Trail’s front door without much of a fuss...”

“...if normal ponies are lunch, are foals a snack…?”

“...you’re NOT HELPING...”

“...I don’t intend to...”

“...shut up, please, at least for a minute...”

“...heh heh heh...”

“No, I’m afraid she didn’t fight griffons, son. Officer, what the hay is one of those doing here?”

“Puff, take her inside before we attract more attention, I’ll stay here and sort it out.”

“Sure, mister Crest. Come here, miss Fury, just slip off his back onto mine like this, easy.”

“You’re getting better at this, I barely even felt the stumble.”

“Thank you.”

*Series of door being unlocked clicks.*

*Door slamming shut.*

“Finally some peace and quiet.”

“I’m glad you like it, miss Fury.”

“Time to get bleeding, Star asshole. Where’s the bed and his clothes?”

“Please don’t. I know you don’t like mister Trail, but I’d have to clean it up.”

“Can I at least chew his pillows a bit?”

“Sure, he has lots.”

“...nevermind...”

Instincts

“And this is the guest bedroom. Here’s where you’ll be staying. I mean, whenever I have to go out. Commander Crest wants you to get used to being in a house before he lets you wander around. You might break something on accident.”

“You mean be you throwing me at it. I know you ponies aren’t the fastest to catch on, but you could have already gotten the hint that I might be having some tiny issue with my legs. You know, screw it, I’ll repeat it just to be sure - I’m blind and crippled.”

“Sorry, miss Fury. I know I’m not the smartest, but I’m trying. I was talking about when you might recover.”

“No, I mean- I didn’t mean you as such, I was just taking a jab at your species as a whole. Gee, don’t be all down. Damn, why do I care?”

“I’ll try harder. I’ll become a great paladin and protect the good ponies like you. I just need to think a bit before I say someth-”

“Shut up, you’re fine! You’re far better than the old fanatic. Don’t you dare become more like him.”

“Mister Star Trail-”

“Is crazy. Enough! If there’s a pony I wouldn’t want to suck dry then it’s you. And maybe Crest, although he might like it. Hmmm, perhaps if he begged hard enough...”

“But I-”

“I’ll bite your ear off if you don’t stop right there. You are absolutely fine, alright?”

“Ummm… I like my ears.”

“Good, now where are we?”

“Still in the bedroom, miss.”

“Excellent, do we continue the sightseeing tour?”

“Well, I thought about it and I guess there’s not much point at the moment. Be careful, I’m putting you on the bed.”

“Soft.”

“Mister Trail is a good host.”

“That depends on the guest, I think.”

“You might be right. All comfy? Pillow fluffy enough?”

“I’m as alright as I can be given the circumstances.”

“Good, I need to put this collar on you.”

“Does it read: If lost, return to the local zealot?”

“It’s just for here, it’ll keep you in the room for now.”

“I’m sure as Tartarus I couldn’t lug a steel chain around even if I recovered a little.”

“No no no, it’s magical. It is like a chain, but made of light and all blue and glowy. You won’t feel a thing unless you try to leave.”

“Meh, kinda fruitless train of thought anyway. Ugh-”

“That was quite the stomach growl, I have some soup in the kitchen if you want. Anyway, here goes the collar-”

*Click*

“And it doesn’t even choke me. I wish I was threatening again.”

“We’ll help you get better and then you’ll be miss angry AND scary. A plate of warm soup would be a good start.”

“Your food is the last thing I need, pony- Puff. I need, well, remember what happened in the cell when you caught me feeding from that earthpony?”

“It’s a bit of a blur, but yes. I’d like to avoid that in the future, if possible.”

“It’s alright, execution or starvation, it’s all the same to me. The more it hurts the better I know I’m getting all I deserve for failing my queen in Canterlot.”

“I… I… I can’t just leave you like this.”

“No no, the bed is pretty comfy, you did a good job fluffing.”

“No, I mean… I mean that as a paladin in training, it is my duty to nurture good in this world, even if it poses a risk to me. I will feed you, I’m only hoping that I don’t go crazy like miss Palisade did.”

“She did what I told her to, that’s all-"

*Boing!*

"-Hey, don’t jump in like that, the bed is kinda springy and you’re heavy. You almost catapulted me out.”

“If miss Palisade did what she did on your command then, please, don’t make me hurt anypony. Here-”

“Here wha-mmphfh. Bleh! Don’t just shove your mane into my mouth. You really want me to bite you?”

“Is there another way?”

“Yes, there is, and if I’m willing to offer it to a pony then it’s you. While I would find somewhat amusing to chew your head off and give this place a new gory wallpaper, I’m sure the old bastard would make the rest of you clean it up. Your muzzle, here. Now.”

“Alright, where is this goin-mmmhmm? Umm… I feel weird… warm.”

“Huh, I had no idea I could jerk my neck like that. I guess kissing is a strong instinct. Now, my dazed pony, let’s see how much control my saliva gives me at this point. Better than biting, was it?”

“Definitely.”

“You know, there are even better ways to feed me than this. I might be a pile, but I still have the right bits.”

“I- I- I was told to wait with that for a pony who would love me for who I am despite my… faults.”

“So you told me. Oh, you’re crawling behind me already, and I didn’t even have to order you. Mere suggestion is all I need to make you throw that moral objection away and plow me like a field.”

“Yes, miss Fury...”

“...and then I’d be the one breaking that bearable personality, leaving hate for the fanatic to cultivate...”

“You are beautiful, miss Fury. Let me-”

“What’s the point of forcing you? What would it bring me? I can’t use all the energy anyway. Stop, Puff. Get off of me, and sit down.”

*Bed creaks*

“Yes, miss Fury.”

“Does this place have a -what you ponies call it- radio?”

“Yes, in the living room.”

“Is there a bed there too?”

“There’s a couch.”

“Carry me there.”

“Yes, miss Fury.”

“Hmm, you’re even better at picking me up when hypnotized. Perhaps I should use Crest like this more. Hey-!”

“Sorry, it was an accident.”

“Accidentally making my leg hit the doorframe after I pondered biting your friend? Try pulling the other one.”

“Yes, m-”

“DON’T! I don’t want to be a tripod on top of everything else. I was kidding with Crest.”

“Careful, couch.”

“Hmmm, soft. Good, now sit down as well.”

*Squish*

“And hug me. Exacly like that, yeees. Aaaah, I can feel it. Just let it flow, don’t resist that tugging on the inside-”

*Sigh.*

“-You forgot the radio.”

“I’m sorry, I-”

“Let’s stay like this and cuddle. Radio can wait.”

“Alright, miss. You know, it feels rather nice. I’m getting a little light-headed, though.”

“Hm? I’ll slow down a little. After all, there’s no rush.”

“HI, PUFF! Where are you?”

“ALL OF THE RUSH! Slurp, Fury, slurp!”

“In the living room, miss Palisade!”

“...great, the earthpony. It’s been almost ten minutes since I last met someone who hated me...”

“There you ar- what are you doing?”

“Sitting on the couch, miss Palisade.”

“You’re very… grabby, Puff. That’s unusual.”

“Miss Fury wanted it, she said it helped with feeding.”

“Fee- oh shi- she got you!”

“GET HER, PUFF!”

“No, Puff! Get off of me! I k-oof I know this isn’t you. STOP! Oww-”

*Chaotic thuds*

“...Puff… stop...”

“I got her, miss Fury.”

“Neck.”

“Yes, miss Fury.”

“Hers, dummy.”

“Oh, right.”

“Puff, no, please, no-”

*Chomp!*

“-no, don’t- don’t… mhmmm don’t stop… it hurts so good...”

“Phew, that was close. Earthpony?”

“Yes, mistress?”

“I believe you have a job to finish from the cell. You know best where your muzzle belongs.”

“Yessss, mistress. Thank you, mistress.”

“Less talking, more licking.”

“Mhmmphm...”

“Perfect. Puff?”

“Yes, miss Fury?”

“While she’s busy down there, come and cuddle me a bit more. Oh, and take a good look at her, your eventual marefriend will definitely appreciate some obesrvational experience.”

“Yes, miss Fury.”

“Aaaahn… now this is life. With few more ponies… so much love, so much food, so much power. Doesn’t this feel great, my pets?”

“Yes, miss Fury.”

“Mmhm.”

“And you lunchbags were resisting so hard during the invasion. Oh how much easier things would have been if the queen didn’t use force. As if we needed it, ponies would be waiting in queue to become dry husks. Wouldn’t your future as food be great? I could suck you both dry and you would be thanking me with your last breath for the pleasure of obedience you’re feeling now.”

“...”

“But then what, my pets? It’s not like I want you dead as such, it’s just how things have always been. Get the prey, drain the prey completely and store the excess for later, kill the prey to remain a secret. And as we know now, no amount of power will help me fully heal. I could just let you go now, I think I’ve had enough, and I don’t want to lose my fantastic figure. The last thing I need is to become fat, I already hate having to be carried. Crest could use the exercise, though.”

“...”

“Yeah, I think I’ve had my fill. Both of you, stop it. Now you’re going to leave and forget about what happened here. You, Puff, can remember how to use your mouth properly, though. Consider it a payment for the meal. You, Palisade, you have your uses too, take it as a compliment. Now leave me alone, I think a nap is in order.”

“Alright, I’ll be in the garden so just shout if you need anything.”

“Thank you for the meal too, mistress. I hope we can do this again soon.”

“Don’t worry, I get hungry often.”

*Hoofsteps grow distant.*

*Door opens and closes.*

“How stupid does Puff have to be to allow me to do this? And if I were Palisade with Puff trying to feed me to his owner I really wouldn’t pull any punches. Yet… yet he did it willingly, knowing what happened in the cell, and she would rather be my envenomed pet than possibly fatally harm him.”

“Heh, maybe… yeah, that could be fun. Since I don’t really care for this crippled existence anymore, let’s give the pony way shot. For fun. If they’re willing to feed me of their own free will, I’ll take it. Otherwise I get what I deserve for failing my queen.”

“Hah, hahahahaha! Even better. Let’s see how they react when I admit to what I did just now. Now that, that will be fun.”

“Puff! PUFF!”

“Yes, miss Fury?”

“That was quick.”

“I’m still outside the window. There’s a flowerbed to weed out.”

“Go get Crest, will you? I have something important to tell him.”

Recovery

"Hey, it's me!"

"Hey, Crest, did you finally break down and decided to take your chances in bed with me? Just kidding."

"You could be a little more appreciative of your situation, especially after what you did last time."

"Of course. Your princess blinded me and instead of killing me outright she tortures me with hunger and watches me wither away, but when I try to change my situation I’m suddenly ‘too feral to integrate into society’."

"Okay, I got a briefing yesterday about what happened in Canterlot. Supposedly, the explosion was kind of an accident. Wait, why am I the one defending princess Cadence’s actions? You tried to eat us all."

"I tried twice and I didn’t hear anypony complaining. I gotta give it to you though. Until now I thought you were just weaklings useful only as food but it looks like you give your prisoners the hard time they deserve. I’m getting stomach cramps just looking at you… well, in your general direction… where your voice is coming from."

"You could still be in the dungeons instead of sitting here. Palisade was furious she got taken out by Puff, and the poor colt was heartbroken from being wrong about you."

"Okay, hearing that actually physically hurt for some reason, so shove that mushy stuff where the sun doesn’t shine, though considering the size of your princess’ ass you might spend some time looking. I'm gonna die pretty soon anyway so you can leave out the fake empathy and threats."

"What do you mean?"

"A cripple like me can't even bite your weak ass anymore. I spent all the energy I took from the two on healing, and over four days… this is the best shape I could get into. Under normal circumstances I could regrow most of my body from that much love, but now I’m happy I can shuffle around.. What do you think is going to happen now that every one of you either refuses to come near me or are on their guard?"

*Silence*

"You… do realize that’s all your fault, and nopony else’s.”

“That wasn’t me, that was my evil twin. Ask your friends about the top hat, monocle, and a moustache.”

“I'm going to read a book, if you need anything just tell me. I’ve got a day off with nothing much to do, so I may as well keep you company."

"Present your neck and let me bite you."

*Sigh, hoofsteps, rustling of paper*

"Did you just sit here like that the entire past few days? I mean, on the couch."

"No, I think I rammed my horn into the walls few times, this place might need a plasterer."

"I mean... what did you do in your free time in the hive?"

"Free time? With how little resources there was it was - keep working and stay dormant when you aren't doing so."

"That must have sucked."

"Not really. It was nice, dark, damp and the constant buzzing of wings and clicking of chitin on stone meant home."

"Do you want to come back?"

"It doesn’t matter what I want anymore, I can't. I would be killed or kicked out anyway, not that I could find my way back with my little problem even if the hive was still in the same place."

"What do you mean?"

"The Queen sent EVERYONE to Canterlot and then they either died or got blown away so wherever they are now they sure as heck aren't back home."

"You know, you're still alive, nopony is trying to kill you, for now-”

“Aside from the fanatic.”

“-who isn’t here, and you're... well... female, I guess. I might sound crazy but why don't you try and start anew here?"

"Why didn't I think of that? As soon as I find someone to drain enough love from, grow some eggs in me and lay them in their brain I will do that, thanks for the great idea."

"Pfff, no need to be sarcastic."

"True, I said that entirely of my volition, idiot."

"Eh, it's getting late and I have an early watch tomorrow."

"Yea yea, want a good-night hump?"

"Wha- what?"

"Heh, blushing."

"I thought you couldn't see anything."

"I don't need to, you ponies are so predictable. "

"Good night, Fury."

"Sleep very carefully, lunchbox."

***

*Solitary set of approaching hoofsteps.*

"Oh hey, breakfast."

"I got myself some toast, I can bring you some too if you want."

"I was talking about you."

"How could I have forgotten?"

"If you grow complacent even a wreck like me will eat you."

*Crunching of weak chitin.*

"Were you trying to crack your neck? It’s not too menacing when my greatest fear is that your head will fall off. How do you feel?"

"Just peachy, completely fine. Still hoping for a crossbow bolt through the head."

*Sigh.*

"Do you want to come with me on my patrol?"

"Showing off your trophy?"

"I'm not going to force you if you don't."

"I don't care. There's no way I could bring more shame to my kind than I did already."

"If you're that uncomfortable with it then it's-"

"I said let's go! Parade me like a mule, make them laugh and throw rocks. It's the least I deserve."

"Um, I meant it just so you could stretch your legs. I can go grab some clothes if you want or you can change into somepony else for a while. I won't tell anypony."

"Nice try, you goody-goody wannabe. You know I'm too weak and damaged to shapeshift."

"Well, no, I thought you might have gotten better like with walking."

"Keep mocking me."

"I mean it. We don't know anything about your kind."

"I should have drained you while I had the chance and I sure as heck should have tried to bite your damn princess. At least I would have died fighting for the hive instead of... this weirdness."

*Doors opening and closing… closet, maybe? It has to be.*

“What colour do you prefer? Star Trail isn’t big on fashion, but I think a skirt might look good on you.”

“Which has nothing to do with you wanting to play around with my plot.”

“Come on-”

“Oh shush, perv. You know I’m basically your property at this point, so let’s be clear about it. You want to dress me up? Do it. You want to use me as your pillow? Do it. You want more? Do it.”

“I WANT TO MAKE YOU COMFORTABLE! I’m trying to get you outside because that’s usually what helps ponies in similar situation. I’m… look, no matter our differences and no matter how furious I was when you told me what you did to Puff and Palisade… it hurts me to see you like this.”

“...do you now understand, Crest?”

“Understand what?”

“That this is what we do. This is how we feed. We can make it painful, we can make it pleasant, but no matter what this is how you react. That’s why we had to do what we did. You are our food, and that won’t change.”

“I’m… not so sure.”

“What?! Are you saying you know my kind better than I do, because if you are-”

“Some of you have already been caught in Canterlot. Princess Luna along with few ponies have-”

“Stop… I’m fine with anything you do to me, but I don’t need to know what happened to the others.”

“Do I look like a pony who wants to hurt you for no reason? The pony whom you keep berating for being stupid and kind to the point of insanity?”

“That’s Puff, Crest. You’re just stupid.”

“...urge to punch rising...”

“See? That’s the difference between you two. He literally wouldn’t even think that, it’s not in him.”

*Sigh.*

“Look, I think you need to hear this. Some of the changelings who survived the explosion have lived in Canterlot for years with their real partners, disguised as ponies. The ponies were checked for mind controlling effects and in majority of the cases there were none.”

“It is possible, I suppose, if I lived my life as a transformed pony. If I assumed the shape of a hot mare I could get some attention and possibly a partner to feed from, but you’re missing one thing.”

“Yes?”

“I am a cripple, I have no value to anyone. I can’t and won’t ever be able to shapeshift. I am a changeling, and what’s worse - I LOOK like a changeling.”

“Actually, I think you’re the one missing the point, Fury. The revealed changelings in Canterlot were mostly accepted by their partners after investigation showing that they didn’t just kill a pony and take their place. They BUILT their lives for themselves. Granted, even their partners were uncomfortable with them in their changeling forms, but that’s expected. There’s a lot more in the report I recieved.”

“Wait, does that mean that the integration into society order was actually real? Don’t get me wrong, I’m quite enjoying the fanatic being away. Him being wrong about all this is just the cherry on top.”

“The integration order was clearly fake, and someone is intercepting the messages coming to Canterlot. The report to law enforcement units is full of information, warnings, but leaves the treatment of any wounded changelings up to us. We are, of course, to detain or kill you in case you prove a threat, but if not… we’re just to inform them and wait for their ‘expert’ to assess you. I didn’t even tell the others yet, because Palisade and Bladehoof would doubtlessly make a good case of you being dangerous.”

“Yessss! Suck it, Star Snail!”

“That means your future is fully in my hooves, and I have very little reason to-”

“Meh.”

“W-what do you mean by ‘meh’?”

“Crest, my second most favourite lunchbag, that just means nothing has changed. I’m defenseless and I can’t escape. I’m being held by an enemy who hates me and considers… me… dangerous… WOHOOO! I’m a threat again.”

“That! THAT is what you got out of all that?!”

“WHEEEEEEEEEE!”

“...you’re kinda the happiest I’ve ever seen you, although lying on your back with a goofy smile plastered all over your face on the couch and waving your legs around -slowly, I might add- doesn’t exactly reinforce the image...”

“Aaaaaah, sweet illusion of power. That was fun. So… back to the dungeon?”

“Wait, what?”

“You’re not under any command anymore, you can just lock me up and wait until I starve. Your problem will take care of itself, and-”

“WERE YOU EVEN LISTENING?”

“Umm, Crest?”

“Yes?”

“My ears work just fine.”

“...murder… must… not… murder...”

“Awww, I can hear you frothing. I mean, you’re still in the position of power so you can do whatever you want. If our roles were reversed, you’d be the one on the floor licking my hooves while I drained your whole town, and you’d be loving every second of it.”

“ALRIGHT! If power is all you understand then that’s what you’ll get!”

“Finally! So, are you taking me right here on the couch, or should I get back to the bed?”

“Neither, we’re going out for a walk. You’ll be on a leash, that’s all.”

“And we’re back where we started, parading your captured trophy around. Aren’t you tired of always being wrong?”

“The leash is so that you don’t hurt yourself on anything. I told you my reasons, but you clearly refuse to listen, you stubborn mule, so I’ll just have to show you. At the end of the day, you’re gonna feel better, sleep like a foal AND YOU’RE GONNA LIKE IT!”

“That’s a roundabout way of using roofies. I can assure you I’m way better in bed when conscious.”

*Silent but growing insane growling.*

“...mere words cannot describe the amount of hate, Fury...”

“Pff, I can help you with that. Two simple words just off the top of my head.”

“Yessssss?!”

“You didn’t have to hiss like that. Are you a pegasus or a snake? Anyway, you wanna hear them? Two little words.”

“...I hate you, I hate you, I hate you, I hate you, I hate you...”

“Not. Enough.”

Walking

“Good morning, Commander. Heading out on patrol as well, I see.”

“Morning, Bladehoof.”

“I’m here too, you know.”

“Unfortunately so, and with Commander Crest choosing to give you yet another chance for no particular reason that isn’t changing anytime soon.”

“How do you know?!”

“Commander, I am your… representative and second in line of duty. I have access to all files and documents. That, and you suck at hiding things, no offense.”

“More importantly, why did you not blab to everypony, bat?”

“I respect orders.”

“Crest said the report was from waaaay above on the food chain. With different orders, like to kill or imprison a threat.”

“I respect orders.”

“Crest, did you give that strangely obedient pony any?”

“I-”

“I’m talking about orders, you perv, not a taste of Crest.”

“No, I had no idea- I thought I hid the report well.”

“So whose orders are you obeying, ba- Bladehoof?”

“Not all orders need to be explicitly stated, change- Fury.”

“I can feel you glaring, bat.”

“You’re doing the same, changeling.”

“Fury?”

“Yes, my owner and blue-balled slave driver?”

“If there is a pony I would trust with my life then it’s Bladehoof. Remember how I told you about the previous police chief’s hellhound? Bladehoof and Star Trail stopped it while it was rampaging through the city.”

“You were there too, Commander.”

“Lying on the sidewalk, holding my guts inside me with my forelegs. ”

“Had you not distracted it, it would have been up to me. You did-”

“ANYWAY, Bladehoof carried me off to the hospital and has been working under me ever since.”

“Heh, under you...”

“You weren’t even trying with that one, Fury. You see, Bladehoof? That’s just how she is. What do you see if you get past that snark?”

“Daylight, because I must have come out of her ass at that point.”

“Holy shit, I don’t know if she burned you or me, Crest, but I’m guessing both. Good job, you flying rat!”

“I don’t need praise from you, bug.”

“Did I ask anything about need? I’m shoving that praise down your throat whether you like it or not. Now take it like the exotic piece of tight plot you are and stop complaining. Feel the praise penetrating you again and again until you can’t handle it anymore and finally get it through your thick skull that you like it. And when you do, oh when you do admit your insides crave that feeling of someone else’s ‘good job’ crawling down your earholes you’ll do ANYTHING to get more.”

“Umm, Commander? I think she’s having a stroke.”

“Did I just witness verbal praise clop?”

“You, Fury, I’m getting the feeling that your jabs at Commander’s lackluster private life are just you projecting.”

“I’m not that bad-”

“ME? Go suck on a firehose!”

“Come on, you can’t be that desperate. You DO look like a stick figure come to life, but I think there are some hobos just an alley or two away who might be willing to give you a shot. I think I saw one hump a hole in a cardboard box once… oh, now I see the problem. You’re not sure you can compare, but take my word for it, your mouth is foul enough. Although, I’m afraid for the guys, they might catch something nasty.”

“Bladehoof, she’s twitching and I can see bulging veins under the chitin. I’m pretty certain that’s not physically possible-”

“Oh dear, a batprude here is lecturing a changeling about being bad in bed? What’s your experience, falling asleep at ponies? I had no idea that stick up your butt was literal.”

“Oh, first I am everypony’s free hole and now a batprude? Commander, she’s clearly confused, if not too dumb to live. Do we show her mercy and end her misery?”

“CREST! Show HER mercy and plow her brains out- nevermind, somepony apparently already did that.”

“Ladies-”

“I’m getting all the action I need, Fury! You should be grateful I told you about the homeless guys because for you they are your last hope of ever getting any-”

“Ladies, please-”

“I had a threesome with two of your police mates after I made them my slaves. Check and mate, Bladehoof. HAH!”

“Bladehoof, if glares could kill yours would be committing crimes against equinity. Be the bigger mare and stop this before-”

“You calling me fat?! Ehm, Commander.”

“Hahahahahahahahahahaha! Fat bat Bloathoof.”

“STOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOP!”

“...”

“...”

“...”

“Commander, everypony is looking at us.”

“Yeah, Crest, way to kill the mood.”

“Ummm… weren’t you just about a second away from snapping each other’s throat? Why am I the bad guy here?”

“You just don’t understand mares, Crest.”

“I hate to agree with Fury here.”

“There’s usually a ‘but’ following that statement.”

“No, I just hate to agree with her. That’s all-”

*Yaaaaaawn.*

“Ooookay, I’m feeling way out of my depth here. You okay, Bladehoof?”

*Yaaawn!*

“Of course, Commander. Always operating at peak efficiency.”

“Then I think we’ll let you be on your patrol. I still want to show Fury a bit of Riverside.”

“He’s kinda slow to catch onto the whole ‘I am blind’ thing. But he’s trying and that’s what counts.”

“I know you are-”

“You are too easy of a target, Commander.”

“Yeah, Crest. You think I got her going? I’d have you FROTHING within three sentences if I wanted.”

“So... you’re not really mad at each other?”

“I’ll slit her throat if she proves a direct threat or if you give me the order, Commander. Her actions feel alien to us, but I don’t have enough information to pass a correct judgement, so I will keep an eye on her and others acting strange. That also means you, since due to the orders from Canterlot you are the one holding her future in your hooves. However, as I said before, being mad at somepony for acting like what they are is meaningless. The actions she’s taking of her own volition are what interests me, and eases my worries.”

“You lost me there a bit, Bladehoof.”

“Gotta admit, same here, bloaty, because I’m getting the feeling that you’re complimenting me, and that can’t actually be real.”

“It wasn’t important anyway, Commander. In short - no, I am not going after the bugslut’s throat.”

“I have a name now, you know? It’s pretty cool, although they rejected all my attempts to make it perfect.”

“Same goes.”

“...”

“...”

“You’re both glaring again. Well, Fury, your eyes are kinda just gleaming. Oh, and Bladehoof is a bit to the left, you look like you’re really angry at her shoulder.”

“I… fucking… DESPISE that shoulder, Crest. Don’t you dare correct me!”

“Ehm, while I always enjoy meeting you, Commander, I still have a patrol to finish.”

“Right, right. See you later, Bladehoof.”

“You too, Commander.”

“And get some cream for the sick burns, bat- bloat- fat- Bladehoof.”

“Are you okay, Fury? I think you might be going delusional from hunger. I crushed you so hard no amount of duct tape will repair that broken chitin. Bye.”

“Aaaand she’s gone. Should I even bother trying to understand what just happened?”

“I’d fight her so hard if I wasn’t a cripple...”

“Come on, she’s not that bad.”

“Bad? BAD? Crest… there are only two ponies I would consider making my hive slaves, and she’s one of them. The rest of you are food. Food I’m growing to lik- food I’m getting accustomed to, but still food. If I was able to fight, Bladehoof would be fighting me. Since I’m not, she’s accepting a challenge different way. I am- I was a warrior, I… appreciate that.”

“So you’d feel better if I berated you?”

“It wouldn’t be the same. Now that I know what soft heart you are it would just be an act. Or maybe I’m wrong and you still have it in you to bend me over the nearest table and show me who’s the boss around here, hmm?”

“Well, I… no.”

“What if I ask nicely?”

“This wasn’t asking nicely?”

“Just a figure of speech, blueballs. And I HEARD that facehoof.”

“Shut up, bug... prisoner... thing. Or I’ll tighten that collar. Slut.”

“HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!”

“Well, I tried.”

“HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!”

“Come on, if I was like that I wouldn’t be in the police.”

“HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!”

“Damn it, Fury, stop that.”

“MY SIDES! I CAN SEE THE LIGHT! QUEEN’S GLORIOUS HOLES, HAHAHAHAHA!”

“I’ll just be quiet until you’re finished.”

“HAHAHA-URK!”

“...”

*Cough cough cough!*

“...”

*Hnnnngh!* *Gasp.*

“...”

*Wheeze.*

“All done? Are you okay, you are shaking all over? That fit was pretty scary.”

“I fink I bit my tong.”

*Sigh.*

“Do you want something to drink, Fury? There’s a milkshake place two blocks away.”

“Now here’s the Crest I’d keep as my pet back home.”

“I’ll take that as a compliment. Let’s go, you deserve some fresh air.”

“True, the air was awfully stuffy when I was flying through the stratosphere across half of Equestria.”

*Slap.*

“Hah, facehoof number two. I can transform a pegasus into a mops even without magic. Fury - thousand, Crest - zero.”

“I don’t even know where to begin.”

“...zero physical contact with mares in past two years...”

“Where’s the flyswatter?”

Rescue

“Pothole.”

“Stick dick- aaaaa- OW!”

“I warned you.”

“I thought we were just trading insults. You know, Crest the Badass’ second coming.”

“No, I think I’ll just be me and leave the verbal abuse to Bladehoof.”

“Second coming in years. ZING, blueballs!”

“On the other hoof… wait, I DID get you!”

“What? Did you hit your head on something, Crest?”

“No, I got you.”

“Pfff, how?”

“Not telling you. I’ll keep that warm feeling to myself.”

“I’ll bite you so hard you grandfather’s hooves will explode.”

“You DO have nice teeth. Terrifying, but clean.”

“Stop being smug and tell me!”

“Naaah, I think I’d rather give you some time to work it out and watch you boil.”

“TELL ME!“

“You’re happy.”

“You’re dumb. What’s your point?”

“You’re not all gloomy anymore. Since your little chat with Bladehoof you seem like you’ve forgotten all about your shape, your chances for the future, everything.”

“...”

“So yeah, happy. At least happier than in the morning.”

“Hmmmmm...”

“Another pothole.”

“AAaaaAA? Is this a road or a bomb testing range?”

“Well, I’m not leading you via the main streets. The news about Canterlot attack have reached even here by now, and while the police orders are one thing, there’s no reason to cause panic among the general public.”

“Note to self - bare teeth more.”

“Fury, hey-”

“Grrrrr...”

“-stop that! Besides, you’re trying to scare a lamp post, kinda a self-defeating effort.”

“Did I not tell you to not correct me, Crest? I fucking HATE that lamp post.”

“Of course you do. Anyway, are you okay? We can have a rest if you want. We’ve been walking for nearly an hour.”

“I COULD go for a snack. On your back and spread your legs, Crest.”

“With those fangs? Not on your life.”

“Come on, spice up your life.”

“I am a stallion, and I’d like to keep it that way.”

“Aww, do you seriously think I could hurt such a cute, tiny thing?”

“I AM NOT SMALL! Below average at worst.”

“Oh dear, Crest. Have you stooped so low as to really give the changeling a shot? Also, you ARE small, don’t lie to yourself. I know she can’t see, but she’d have to find out eventually.”

“Is that the annoying voice of the apocalypse? Dumb Wang, or something?”

“I’m glad to know that my assumption of changelings not having enough brainpower to remember basic things is correct.”

“What do you want, Dream Wing?”

“Is it so wrong to greet my favourite disappointment?”

“No, I mean, shouldn’t you be doing some piano or yoga or whatever activity you used as an excuse to make me leave every morning?”

“I had to take something up, since I never got any exercise at night.”

“Ooooooh! That wasn’t just a burn, Crest. That was immolation multiplied by conflagration and bathed in dragon fire. If that pony’s screechy voice wasn’t so irritating I might even like her.”

“...Tartarus take me now, please...”

“No no no, I have to know now if she’s just the living embodiment of a bitch, or if you did something really awful. You, Dream Wing, what did Crest do?”

“Please no, I’ll never hear the end of it...”

“Did do, changeling? It’s about what he DIDN’T do. Every time we had an event to attend he had to go on a patrol-”

“That happened TWICE.”

“-he never wore anything I asked him to-”

“Tights and some balloony sleeves? Noble fashion is stupid. I liked the wide hats, though, and I wore them for you.”

“-and he OBVIOUSLY wanted to get into high society by hooking up with me-”

“We met in a bar! I… I just thought you were pretty… I had no idea who you were.”

“Riiiight, a pony in Riverside who didn’t know who I was. Crest, you’re a terrible liar.”

“Yeah, he is, actually.”

“I’m not ly-”

“That’s my point, Crest, now shut up and let the nice mare talk before she realizes what I just said.”

“Huh, Fury?”

“I told you to shut up. He doesn’t know when to close his mouth, does he?”

“You don’t know the half of it, changeling. But you know, everything I said I could have ignored, were it not for one thing.”

“I’m listening, and trust me, I’ll remind him often. So, what didn’t he do?”

“He didn’t get it up.”

“What? Crest, that pent-up blob of lust?”

“Yeah! The whole time we were together he didn’t give it to me once. He always stopped after making out, lying over and over about his patrols and duty. When I finally forced him into it he just sat there, that impotent little… mare, with his- her muzzle wet.”

“Hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha!”

“What, Crest, got nothing to add? Want to call me a liar again?”

“...no… I’m sorry...”

“Hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha!”

“You know, if you weren’t a bug I might grow fond of you.”

“Hahahahahahahahahahaha- shut up, you worthless overstretched cunt.”

“WHAT DID YOU SAY?!”

“I knew you were a disgusting pony the second I heard you speak the first time, but I reserved my judgement in case you were gorgeous or something, but now? You couldn’t even arouse your stallion in bed, what are you good for?”

“Are you insinuating it was MY fault?”

“No, I’m saying it was your fault. You’re a vomit-worthy pile of horsemeat. I can make Crest hard with my WORDS. I don’t need to bite him, I don’t need to touch him at all, and I’m starving. You, you whiny, overbearing, and demanding piece of shit have no idea how to make a stallion drool. All you can do is break things and ponies. What good are you for? Seriously, why do you exist? You can’t fight or make anything worthwhile. I thought you were at least hot enough to be a good whorse for sale to some other noble, but no. All you have is the money and status you were born into.”

“...how dare you...”

“And you know how I know?”

“...”

“Because Crest is a shitty liar. Now go be delusional about your self-worth somewhere else, preferably into a river with a boulder tied to your neck.”

“I can have you executed, you filthy bug-”

“You are obstructing an officer of the guard in his duty, and he is polite enough not to shackle you to the lamp post. I’m not, and I actually AM dangerous.”

“Crest, I’ll talk to the mayor and-”

“I TOLD YOU TO GO FUCK YOURSELF BECAUSE NO STALLION WILL EVER RISK SOME COCK-ROTTING DISEASE TO DO IT.”

“Crest… say something… shut that bug up.”

*Deep sigh.*

“Miss Dream Wing. I am the chief of Riverside police force, and I am currently doing my duty as per royal guard orders straight from Canterlot. You are in the way, and I am politely asking you to be about your business. I am taking care of a hostile and possibly extremely threatening member of a race about which we know little about, and I cannot be sure to guarantee your safety if you pursue your course of action.”

“This isn’t over! I can have you demoted to scrubbing floors.”

“...I actually sometimes do that already...”

“And I can have you sit in a room, paranoid about every single pony you’ve ever met being real. I can be anypony, I am getting better and stronger, and what’s worse - I can do it either for Crest who feeds me, or just for fun. Should I play your parent for a month or two? Should I have you sit in a time out like a filly? Should I have you-”

“Crest! Chain that thing to a floor this instant!”

“Fury, please this will cause more trouble than… wait, like this instant? To the sidewalk?”

“...should I have you… disowned...?”

”C-C-C-C-Crest...? If- if- if she touches my- my fortu- my family, I’ll-”

“Dream Wing. If she causes harm to a citizen of Equestria she will be held responsible to the full extent of the law, which in her case is death, dissection, and magical deconstruction of her mind, the order depending on the severity of said harm. I can assure that.”

“Good.”

“However, that is only AFTER she causes a crime. Do you understand?”

“I...”

“I can feel you looking at me, spoiled brat.”

“I understand. Goodbye, Crest.”

“Goodbye, Dream Wing, and-”

“Yes?”

“-and one more time, I’m sorry.”

*Clip clop, clip clop, clip clop...*

“You know, Crest, I can’t help feeling like the punishment explanation was aimed at me more than at her.”

“At both of you. Don’t get me wrong, Fury, I am a member of the Guard for a good reason. It’s not just about passing physical training and getting the armor. Even a threat like that would normally land you in prison, but-”

“Just admit it, Crest, you loved watching her squirm.”

“...yes, yes, I did...”

“And calm down, dumbass. You know I’m in no shape to do anything I said I would and I will never be. Though it would be pretty funny.”

“Killing and replacing a citizen of Equestria would be funny to you?”

“Totally! Hello, Dream Wing my dear -SLAM into the door. What happened, mommy? Nothing, nothing, just blinded a bit by the sunlight -boom, trip and crack my skull on a super expensive lamp-. And by the way, my little girl, you’re not inheriting anything -accidental cartwheel out of the window.”

“That was some disturbing voice acting, and imagery. You do realize that would kill you, right?”

“Oh, Crestie, what I wouldn’t do for you.”

“Crestie?”

“My little mare Crestie.”

“Don’t tell me I only traded Dream Wing’s nastiness for yours.”

“You bet!”

Author's Note

I promise I'll ease up on the swears from now on.

Return

“Hah-?”

“Ooof, caught you in time.”

“Y- yeah… you should really work on your navigating, Crest. I swear I tripped over something.”

“Umm… nope, nothing there. To me it looks as if you just stumbled out of nowhere. Are you okay? Tired?”

“I’m fine, Crest. Don’t project your incompetence onto me. I could traipse on this excuse of a sidewalk all day easily.”

“You’re breathing as if you’ve been climbing a mountain.”

“You just screwed up putting the collar on. I’m fine.”

“...”

“You didn’t need to pull it up and let it fall down my neck, Crest.”

“Just checking, you know?”

“...”

“Come on, if you’re that tired just say it.”

“...few days without food would do that to a changeling...”

“I actually caught that mumbling this time. I can ask somepony-”

“No.”

“But-”

“No. That’s the punishment I chose for failing my queen. I am a waste of a changeling, no matter what I sometimes might say, and nothing will change that anymore. I will do things in the open as much as I can, and I will refuse anypony ordered or persuaded to feed me by you or anypony other than myself. And I will know, because I dig through their head when I feed.”

“That’s… unpleasant.”

“Only the newest and relevant memories, it’s an instinctual changeling thing. Trust me when I say I have no interest in watching foal Crest learn to use the potty.”

“I was a quick learner.”

“Good, and what did a quick learner understand in the past few minutes?”

“That you are absolutely fine, full of energy, vitality, and ready for a complex tour of Riverside including its famous turnip museum.”

“...”

“Hey, good to know that even if you can’t see your eye can still twitch.”

“...you win this one, Crest...”

“What’s so bad about admitting you’re tired? Nopony who has gone through what you had is expected to be completely alright.”

“Crest, I get it - you don’t understand. You are more than a police pony. You have a personal life, although a rather pathetic one, your subordinates like you on a level past their job, and the few citizens I’ve met or heard about from Puff respect you. Changelings don’t work like that. I was a warrior, and I was an excellent one. That’s it. Changelings don’t go past their designation. I’m trying to… at least… seem somewhat… useful, threatening, I don’t even know what myself.”

“...”

“I should bite your foreleg off for patting my head like a dog’s.”

“...”

“I didn’t tell you to stop.”

“You know, this is exactly the problem with you. You’re torn between what you are and what you think you should be. Can’t you just accept that we’re trying to help you since you’re not in charge of the situation for once?”

*Sigh.*

“I knew you wouldn’t understand.”

“You’re one stubborn buggy.”

“Shut up, lunchbox.”

“Heh.”

“...but thanks...”

“I head that one too.”

“And I suppose you enjoy having ears, right? Because I might not have eyes, but I still have my -hnnngaaagh- teeth.”

“And you just gave me an excellent reminder with that yawn.”

“All planned, that wasn’t a- aaaauahg.”

“And I suppose neither was this one.”

“You really ARE a quick learner.”

“Alright, let’s circle around this block so that few more ponies get a glimpse of you and we’ll be on the way back to Star Trail’s house. I can help keep you steady if you-”

“...take that wing away from me...”

“Fury? I’m just trying to-”

“I WILL bite you, Crest...”

“Whoah, no need to growl. That actually made a chill run down my spine.”

“There’s a limit to which I will allow you to mock me, pegasus.”

“I’m not- you know what? Nevermind. Let’s go.”

“Good.”

“...I’m not sure you still have ears, because you certainly seem like you’re only hearing what you want to hear...”

“Shut up and keep walking.”

“Hard-headed mule.”

“Nosey know-it-all, know-nothing birdhorse.”

“IT’S THE ACTION HERO PONY, AND SHE CAN WALK AGAIN!”

“Stop it, don’t go there! Come back! Damn it.”

“Commander Crest? Commander Crest?”

“Yes, little guy?”

“Why is the superhero pony on a leash?”

“Because she’s a-”

“See this horn, little pony… colt? It gets stuck in trees real easy. I can’t see.”

“That’s horrible! I hope you get better under our police care and can fight the griffon mafia again.”

“...”

“Yes, Fury, he DID just hug your foreleg.”

“...so tiny...”

“What’s your name, miss?”

“Erm… Fury.”

“THAT IS SO COOL AND RIGHT!”

“My ears are okay, you little sqeaky creature.”

“Hey, what are the holes for?”

“I think you’re a little too young for that, but if you really want to know then who am I to judge? When mommy pony loves a daddy pony really much- OW!”

“He meant the legs, Fury, and I refuse to believe you misunderstood that one.”

“Pony culture is so weird.”

“Try that one on somepony else.”

“Fiiiine, prude. You, little colt, tthe holes are so that I can shove swords there and spin like a blender.”

“THAT. IS. SO. AWESOME!”

“Huff- huff- huff- I apologize, Commander Crest, he watches too many movies. Come on, leave the officer alone with his… ehm… companion.”

“No need to gallop, sir. Your son was just curious. However, we do have to go because my friend here needs her rest. To fight… the mafia?”

“Ehm, yes, exactly. Let’s go, son.”

“Buuuut-”

“We’re stopping for some ice cream on the way home.”

“Yaaaaay!”

“Phew, they’re gone. Hey, Fury, it looks like you made a good first impression on at least somepony.”

“Please tell me this was the village idiot or something. Because if not, I’m going to feel even worse for failing to conquer your species.”

“It was just a foal- what’s going on? You froze on the spot.”

“I need you to pull me, Crest. Violently and mercilessly back home.”

“What? Is this another game?”

“Crest, please. I’ll explain later, but don’t make me attack you.”

“Alright, alright, I can take a hint if you drop it from high enough. Come, criminal!”

“Rgh, oww, damn you… pegasus.”

“...this hurts me more than it hurts you, Fury...”

“I’ll snap your neck, pony. Curse you for parading me like a trophy!”

“Stop making a fuss or I’ll break your legs and wait for the paladins to arrive.”

*Grunting of resistant fake struggling.*

“...I can feel you watching, infiltrator...”

“...stronger than before...”

“...but what’s worse...”

“...there’s a lot more with you...”

Conflict

“Stop pacing back and forth, Fury.”

“Stop talking to yourself, Fury.”

“Stop thinking about that, Fury.”

“Damn it, how didn’t I notice that? Changelings gathering around. This isn’t just few stragglers trying to gain control over a pony city for themselves. There was too many of them, I felt it.”

“What do I tell Crest?”

“Do I even tell Crest?”

“I mean, I’ve managed to wrap most of the police force around my hoof… before I blew it. Crest is still on my side, though, and I can use it. I can help my kind get access to those who would otherwise resist them. After all, the police are the only real armed force Riverside has.”

“There was so many of them… it’s unreal. Is this place some gathering spot for those who survived the explosion? From Crest’s yammering I know that we’re somewhere north of Canterlot, between there and Stalliongrad. Hmph, the city faces south so I must have done a pretty cool flip over that mountain.”

“What does that mean for me then? If the queen herself is around… even she can’t heal me, right? Or can she? If I bring the police to her, will I gain her favor?”

“Do I want to?”

“Of course I do. Of course I do. Don’t be stupid, Fury.”

“Fury, not Sixteen.”

“Fury.”

“Queen is all about efficiency. In and out, quick strikes. Use the best, get rid of the weak. If I prove I’m the best even in this shape… imagine it. I could become One. The best, right after the queen herself. What honors would I gain?”

“Actually… WHAT would I gain?”

“A bigger cave? More slaves from captured caravans and cities? Perhaps the honor of being the queen’s consort? Damn, I’m shivering just thinking about it. And yet...”

“It kinda pisses me off.”

“I could toy with all other changelings, command them, have their unquestioning obedience, but I would still be under my queen, a guard with no will of my own if she ordered.”

“I used to like it.”

“No, I didn’t know anything better.”

“Fuuuck I just love screwing with Crest’s head. The unquestioning obedience of other changelings… it would just be so BORING.”

“There would be no more fighting for scraps of love after we conquered Equestria. Riverside can be the beginning.”

“And then what?”

“Enslave. Drain. Break. Ruin. Move on. Ponies. Griffons. Minotaurs. Diamond dogs. Devour the world.”

“Die out.”

“That’s the irony of queen’s plan. Our success means our failure. We fail… or we fail.”

“So, back to the core of the problem. What do I stand to gain? Some imaginary freedom, some illusion which shatters the second the queen says so? But… they are still my kin.”

“They wanted me dead. Well, one of them did. To the others I don’t exist. No, the infiltrator must be behind all this. He stole a TON of love I got from Palisade and Puff the first time. If he shared with the others, be it under orders from the queen or not, my word is not going to mean anything.”

“But we are adaptive, that’s what being a changeling means, not just a shapeshifter. Perhaps the queen can listen to me and learn. We stand to gain nothing from sucking this land dry, but if we use ponies...”

“So much power. Love for everyone. All we need is to institute ourselves above them and let them live their lives. Harvest them without breaking.”

“Oh...”

“Oh no.”

“We tried that. Well, those before us did, even before queen Chrysalis. It never worked for long. It always ended the same - revolts, and the eventuall need to wipe the slaves out.”

“Heh, I wish I was one of the dumb drones who never had access to the deeper parts of the hive mind and the memories inside.”

“Kinda surprised I remember it after all the beating my head went through.”

“So, back to the drawing board. Do I sell them out or do I use them for myself?”

*Click*

“I’m back, miss Fury!”

“Aaah! Puff, what are you doing here? I thought you decided to keep away from me until the old fanatic returns with his execution squad.”

“I’m sorry.”

“For what?”

“For breaking my word.”

“I’m still kinda lost here.”

“I… I told you I was trying to become a paladin to help ponies in need.”

“Yeah. I don’t mean to undermine my case, but that’s actually what you are doing right now. More than you know.”

“No, I thought about it again, and your… dislike for mister Star Trail. I’m not doing it to help ponies in need, I want to help everyone in need. I was just scared of what you did, of losing control and being made to hurt my friends, but that was my fault.”

“It wasn’t. There was nothing you could have done once I had my venom inside you.”

“I should have taken some precautions. There are few wizards in town and I have some money saved. I could have bought some paralysis potion which would allow you to confuse me and feed without me being able to do anything to anypony. Well, if it was too expensive I could have asked mister Crest to use police budget for that. I’ve done that once already when we reconstructed the police station garden.”

“If my eyes were fine I would be staring in utter disbelief now.”

“So, here I am. No potions or anything because of what you did, or didn’t do, when you had me under control last time. You could have kept it all secret and you still told mister Crest who told me and Palisade.”

“...someone up there must love me...”

“Mister Crest told me you almost collapsed by the end of the city tour. I… I can’t let it slide without trying to help. If I did that I might as well stop studying under mister Star Trail.”

“...foolish pony, you’re serving me everything on a silver platter...”

“Umm, why are you just staring at that painting like that?”

“I’m looking in your vague direction, dummy. Alright, if you’re so determined, then I will oblige. Turn the radio on, and meet me on the couch… or find me in case I get lost and move to the wrong room.”

“Will do.”

*Click* *Bzzzzzzt.*

“It is day five after the disturbance in Canterlot, and we have yet to gain a clear statement from the princesses about what exactly transpired. Our own veteran journalist Spyglass who has been investigating the situation since day one has a shocking new revelation. More on our main issue of daily news at eight o’clock. Don’t miss it.”

“They still haven’t said officially that changelings did it, but rumors travel fast. That, and the free press fueled by unknown sources. Oh, and I read a newspaper which said aliens from the stars did it. Said they arrived flying on giant spoons.”

*Creak.*

“Well, you know the truth. Come and sit down next to me. I’ll make it feel a bit better than last time.”

“It was alright.”

“It can be a LOT better, Puff.”

“I know, but-”

“Yeah, yeah, saving yourself. But… I want something… as a, let’s say, penance for leaving me hungry for so long.”

“I… I… I don’t know about- mmph?!”

“Mhmmmm.”

“Mhmhhmm.”

“Better than biting?”

“I, ehm, well, I mean… umm… yes.”

“Damn, I can HEAR you blush. Oh, and… hmmm, that’s nice… let the love flow, Puff.”

“I was supposed to kiss like that only with a pony I like.”

“Two things, Puff. First, I like you a lot for a pony. Second, the mare of your dreams you’re saving yourself for will be a lot happier if you know what you’re doing by then.”

“I… I guess deep kissing is fine. For practice.”

“Just enjoy it.”

“Hnnngh!”

*Sounds of a drained bathtub.*

“Haaaah, haaaaah, haaah-”

“Mmmm, that’s fun. Kinda getting to know why infiltrators like using this method so much.”

“...the tongue...”

“Heh heh, not wide and short like a pony’s, is it? Reconsidering my ‘deluxe’ offer?”

“No, I can’t-”

“Then I won’t force you. Buuuut… mmhmhm.”

“MMHMMMHM- haaaah haaaah!”

“I will sure as Tartarus take what is mine.”

“...”

“Trying to gather your breath? Good, you’re going to need it. I feel as if I could do this all night long.”

“Yes, miss Fury.”

“But I guess you need to do your pony job things and such, so let me just top off. Plus, having your brain drip out of your ears from venom overdose is something I’d like to avoid… at the moment.”

“Yes, miss Fury.”

“Alright, one more time.”

“Mhmmmhphmhm!”

“Aaaah, excellent. Now lie down and hug me from behind. There’s no blanket here so you’ll have to do.”

“I can bring-”

“Don’t you dare move.”

“Yes, miss Fury.”

“Mhmmm, you’re soft and warm, everything the caves weren’t. Back home, I would have kept you around for so long as a worthy servant, maybe even given you the honor of carrying my eggs.”

“I can balance a big basket on my back, miss Fury.”

“Heh heh heh, go to sleep, Puff.”

“Yes, miss F...”

“Please don’t hate me for this, but I have the feeling I’m going to need your unquestioning servitude soon. Don’t worry, I’ll make sure the overdose won’t harm you too much. The others trust you, so you’re the best tool for the job.”

*Chomp!*

Panic

*SLAM!*

“Yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes!”

*Pleased humming.*

“Hnnng… I will find our where your positivity lives and burn its house...”

“Oh, sorry, Fury. I thought- why were you sleeping on the couch? Normally, I would think you did something bad to your marefriend, but...”

“Crest, you’re walking a thin line between my curiosity and instant murder.”

“Pfff, nothing you can say can even remotely ruin my day.”

“It sometimes did?”

“I got a DATE tonight!”

“...”

“...”

“Oh, I’m supposed to congratulate you or something? Good boy, Crest. Pat pat on the head. If you do something unwieldy it’s rolled newspaper for you.”

“Well… to be honest… I though I’d get something more than annoyed mumbling from you. Nevermind then.”

“Crest, you woke me up with your stupid, out of tune humming. Then you started spouting some crazy gibberish about you finally dating your right hoof, and now you’re mad at me. I haven’t been awake for even two minutes, what do you want?”

“Alright, alright. I apologize for waking you up. In my defense, I thought you’d be in the bedroom.”

“Why are you here anyway?”

“Checking on the, you know, prisoner?”

“Huh, that makes sense. I almost forgot about that. Fine, I forgive you for that one. Go on.”

“Thank you, and no, the mare I’m meeting tonight is completely real. No hooves involved at all… for once.”

“...that’ll make for some fun acrobatic positions...”

“Hmm?”

“Nevermind. Since you’re practically glowing with anticipation and I’m already awake and bored, why don’t you sit down and gush to me before you inevitably fail to gush tonight?”

“So, we met at the bar-”

“Already off to a great start.”

“Can you leave out the snide remarks?”

“Of course not.”

“Hmph, fine. She was sitting alone with nopony having the balls to approach her.”

“Your kind of desperation helped, I guess.”

“Yes- I mean, I gathered some courage.”

“Liquid, I take it.”

“M- maybe. It makes me a bit smoother.”

“Note to self - get Crest wasted at some point. Note to self two - get a camera.”

“You’re scaring me.”

“Eeeexcellent.”

“You could have left out the creepy smile and the hoof pyramid. Anyway, so after watching her a while and seeing nopony was trying to get closer to her, I got up and walked over.”

“Wobbled unsteadily- sorry ‘smoothly’.”

“Do you want to hear the story or not?!”

“No, but you want to say it, so don’t complain and keep going.”

*Incoherent angry grumbling.*

“Come on, that’s not the Crest I’ve grown to know and love. Full of hope and doomed to fail.”

“I’m not doomed to fail!”

“Keep telling yourself that. No, first keep telling me the story. You’re terrible at it, always getting distracted and stuff.”

“Whose fault is that?!”

“You lack of concentration disturbs me, young ponewan.”

*Now unpleasantly coherent angry grumbling.*

“Whoah. Did your mom teach you those words, Crest?”

“Gggrgrwwrwrwrgrg...”

“Just over five minutes to get you frothing. Cool, a new record.”

“EEHM! Anything more to add?”

“Not at this point, no.”

“So we just started talking, and she turned out to be from out of town, looking for somepony who could give her a tour of Riverside. She even wanted to see the turnip museum!”

“Was she an earthpony?”

“No, a pegasus like me. She said she was from Manehattan and Riverside seemed like the perfect place for a weekend or holiday getaway. She works as an analyst in some Manehattan bank, I can’t recall which one at the moment, she’s funny, and she’s HOT. She must be quite well off, because she’s looking to buy a house here in town.”

“And she’s still single… and has the time to sit around a bar waiting to BE picked up...”

“She’s on a vacation right now. She said she had four days left and wanted to spend them looking around rather than lying around in some spa.”

“Refusing to have ponies slave around you and instead choosing to prance around this hole? I found her problem, Crest. She’s clearly insane and wants to flay you alive on the second date.”

“Pfff, you’re just jealous I’m finally back in the game.”

“Jealous? Why would I be jealous? Don’t be delusional, Crest.”

“I don’t know, maybe someone doesn’t want to be lonely when surrounded only by different species.”

“Right now, I would give quite a lot to be a little bit more lonely, Crest. Specifically, without your mouth diarrhea.”

“Well… okay, okay… fine… I’ll stop bothering you then if you want it so much.”

“Crest...”

“I’ve checked up on you, and I have a lot of work to do if I want to leave early to prepare for the date. Puff will be around in about an hour after his training with Bladehoof, so you’ll have to amuse yourself in a different way. Maybe you’ll have the time to invent something original rather than keeping making jabs at ponies trying to get used to having you around.”

“Eh, I prefer sticking to what I’m the best at.”

“...why do I even bother...”

“Crest, before you leave-”

“What? Any dating advice from a mare whose only experience is the equivalent of drinking somepony under the table and then having their way with them?”

*Clip clop clip clop.* *SLAM!*

“...I just wanted to say good luck...”

“...maybe I should have started with that one...”

“Oh well, he’ll be back. Either gloating about him being right and having a chance, or looking for a shoulder to cry on.”

“...”

“...”

“What to do? What to do?”

“Radio? Radio sounds good.”

“So I’m on the couch which faces… this way. The radio is on the table in the corner to the right from here. What was it, about ten steps forward to the wall?”

“Good, good, goo- OW! Who in queen’s glistening chitin put a table here?! Alright, slowly… slooowlyyyy… ah hah! And now to the right, aaand table… is nowhere.”

“Puff must have moved the table with the radio closer to the couch. I guess the dummy doesn’t know how the volume knob works. Nah, I’m pretty sure it made sense in his head, but he can’t know how freaking dumb it is to move stuff around with a blind changeling involved.”

“I just got… troubled by a moved table. Alright, alright, calm down. You know the layout of the place, and if the table is the only thing that moved you should be fine-ish.”

“And what if there’s more? I’ll have to remap everything.”

“...I’m… scared…? Is everything new again…?”

“I said calm down! How far is it to the couch? You know that, you can imagine the area. You’ve done all this multiple times.”

“I can’t remember. Why the hay am I drawing blanks now? Right when I need it the most.”

“F- fine, let’s shimmy by the wall again. One, two, three, four, five- ah?!”

“A… let’s see… wood, horizontal panels. A bookshelf. Was it… always here? How many things did I fail to notice?”

“Well, now it has a horn hole in the side. Think, think, think. You didn’t hit the shelf on the way there. That means you went too far. How far?”

“Damn, measuring distances in something irregular as steps is so inconvenient. Anyway, the couch should be to the left of here then… unless I got completely turned around and am touching the wrong wall.”

“No, don’t doubt yourself that much. That just leaves more and more confusion. The couch is to the left. Turn. Face. Walk. One, two, three, four- OW! For crying out loud!”

“Table. Radio. Knob.”

*Click.*

“-next up is a report of alien sightings from Dodge Junction.”

“Couch.”

“Safety...”

“I’m… I’m… I’m gasping for breath... and trembling.“

“Fine. Wait, recover, explore again. You’ve done an overall check, now you’ll just be doing the detailed version. Seriously, getting a panic attack over this. You’re better than that.”

“...after some rest...”

Flowers

“Hello, miss Fury.”

“Choke on a horsec- hello, Puff, you sneaky little bastard. At least cough next time, please.”

“Sorry, miss Fury. I thought you heard me out here, and when you passed by the window I guessed you wanted to know what’s going on.”

“So that was the noise of somepony digging in the dirt for no reason whatsoever. When did you come back, anyway?”

“About twenty minutes ago. You were still sleeping, and I didn’t want to bother you so I just took my gardening tools and went outside.”

“Yeah, one thing. Don’t move the furniture without telling me. It… confused me a bit and my shins still hurt.”

“Oh, I’m so sorry. I overslept for some reason and rushed off this morning for the combat practice. I completely forgot about the table. Do you want me to move it right now?”

“That’s fine. I’d just have to recount everything anyway. Why did you move it in the first place?”

“I often wake up at night for a glass of water, and since you wanted to sleep on the couch with me, I wanted to have one at hoof so that I wouldn’t wake you up.”

“I’ll take that as a reasonable excuse.”

*Scratch scratch. Splash.*

“You spend a lot of time gardening, don’t you?”

“I find it relaxing and fun. Do you want to join?”

“Definitely not. Wait- no, still would rather beat myself to death with my own ripped off hoof. Wait, you got some of those Everfree tentacle plants around? Those can be fun.”

“No, miss Fury. Just some daisies, roses, violets… the common stuff. It’s still fun, though.”

“Puff, I find hypnotizing ponies and making them fight for my amusement fun, and you don’t see me shoving it down your throat.”

“You’ve made me do that twice already, miss Fury.”

“Relaxing you said? I think I might need to unwind a bit. Where’s the damn shovel or whatever Tartarus device you’re using?”

“I’m not doing anything that difficult, just some light weeding. Come outside and I’ll explain it to you. Wait, I have to let you out myself or the collar will activate. I’ll be there in a second.”

*Rustle rustle.* *Click.* *Clip clop clip.*

“Do you want a leash?”

“I can do without, just don’t rush.”

“Alright, let’s go.”

“I need you to go in front of me. The noise helps me follow you.”

“Oh, okay.”

*Click* *Rustle rustle.*

“Riiight, out here it’s not that easy. There’s a lawn to the right, am I correct?”

“Mhm, there’s a low step in front of you and then it’s off the main road towards me.”

“That was easier than I thought. Oops- the soft dirt was the flowerbed...”

“Yes, but that’s okay. You just trampled the corner a little. There are no flowers there.”

“...I really shouldn’t feel so relieved that I didn't ruin some plants...”

“Do you want to sit down? I have a little plastic pad or a small iron chair.”

“The pad. I’m not too keen on tripping over more things today.”

“Here you go.”

*Rustle rustle rustle.*

“So… you weed the flowerbed. I’m not exactly sure how much help I can be. You know, unless you want your plants butchered.”

“Extend your forelegs and just slowly move them around. Yeah, like that. Can you feel the long, thick stalks?”

“Yeah.”

“Those are the flowers. Now, just above the ground, there is this creeping green vine. Thin and clingy. Yes, you’re good at finding those. Now pull those out- SLOWLY.”

“Oops.”

“No big deal. It’s just that if you rip them off like that then the roots remain underground and the weed regrows quickly. If you pull slowly you can get it all out. It’s never perfect, that’s why I do this daily, but it’s better than nothing.”

“Hmmm… like this?”

“You’re a natural, miss Fury.”

“You know, it’s not as bad as I thought. Still quite boring, though.”

“You can ask me something about Riverside if you want, or ponies, or anything really.”

“Hmmm… that might not be a bad idea. I don’t care about this pile of bricks too much, but… say, you’re quite often around Bladehoof. She seems to me kind of overqualified for this job. Especially after being around Crest for some time.”

“She’s just a bit older than I am, twenty-seven. Her birthday is in October-”

“I don’t want the statistics, Puff. You ponies might care about that, but I want to know more about the REAL her, not the machine she pretends to be.”

“Well, she used to be a Nightguard in Canterlot, but she was transferred here after a certain string of… accidents.”

“Oooh, spicy.”

“It sounds worse than it was. You know how hard she pushes herself, right? Well, she fell asleep on duty in Canterlot and it was decided she needed a less stressful environment. She lost a lot of ‘ranks’, but she keeps the money because she’s still in the guard reserve. On top of that, she… well, I don’t know if I should say it.”

“Go oooon...”

“She dances at the local night club.”

“No.”

“Yes.”

“HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!”

“Please, it’s not because she’s… for sale. She doesn’t do that kind of stuff, she just needs the money and from what I overheard it pays a lot more than her guard and police pay put together.”

“Oooh dear, I can’t wait to slam her with this one. Still, I’m not a pony doctor, but she’s slowly killing herself with that. I get that she can get away with randomly falling asleep here rather than in Canterlot -though when we attacked the guards weren’t much better-, but why does she need that much money? Does she live in some luxury suite in your best hotel and gets her slave diamond dog sluts shipped directly to her each day?”

“I told you she’s not like that, she lives in a small apartment on the north edge of town. She’s actually really sweet if you get to know her. Even the dancing is a hobby as well as a job. She tried it here with ballet and few tavern events at first, but while she was good there just wasn’t much demand. However, we get a lot of tourism and caravans from the north so she found her clients eventually. As for the money, all I know is that she sends almost all she has home to Hollow Shades. She even had to borrow some from me when she was low by the end of the month. She paid back immediately, though, and with interest even without me asking. I think mister Crest knows more, but Bladehoof asked him to keep it to himself. For me, she’s just trying to support her family.”

“Great, now I feel bad. What about your horny earthpony? Palisade, was it? And if you tell me she’s a nice mare who went astray just once when she forced herself -fine, I wasn’t exactly trying to stop her- on a defenseless changeling prisoner I won’t believe you ever again.”

“Emmm, no.”

“I know when you blush now.”

“Miss Palisade is… very experimenting. She fits the idea you had about Bladehoof pretty well, honestly.”

“Without the money.”

“Yes, don’t take it the wrong way, but miss Palisade is very lazy. She often makes me do menial tasks she doesn’t want to. I don’t really mind, I take it as a part of my training.”

“She definitely didn’t feel fat to me. Quite the opposite.”

“Oh, she’s in a great shape, her nightly visits make sure of that. She just gets bored easily. I heard she has a list of every species in Equestria and crosses out those she’s already slept with. She’s gone through quite a lot, from what I saw.”

“Ohhh, you peeked, you little perv. Wouldn’t have expected that from you.”

“I saw only the journal, miss Fury!”

“Too bad, you could have learned something.”

“I’m not… I know the basics.”

“You’re gonna make a mare really happy and disappointed at the same time one day, Puff.”

“What do you mean?”

“That nonsense about saving yourself. I know you want your first time ot be special, but honestly, from what I know, it just means it will be disappointing for both of you. It’s like any other activity - practice makes perfect.”

“I just want me and my marefriend to learn together.”

“First, that was so cute my heart actually froze for a moment. Second, two ponies who know nothing trying to learn from each other is one of the worst ideas I’ve ever heard.”

“Experimenting together might be fun.”

“Trust me. I… admit my first few times were just me laying some eggs and I didn’t even enjoy it. On top of it, I had the ‘theory’ ingrained inside me thanks to the hive mind. I got lucky with one perverted mare whom the queen gave to me thanks to my rise in status who showed me how different things really were.”

“If you don’t mind me asking, how old are you, miss Fury?”

“Twelve, I think? Changelings mature within first year into their designation, though, and are always connected to the hive mind repository of experiences and knowledge. Age isn’t… overly relevant to us. Definitely nowhere close to what it measures for you ponies. It might be different for deserters and, well, the damaged ones like me now.”

“Please don’t talk like that.”

“Like what?”

“Like you’re useless and broken. You are fun company, you are pretty, in a strange way. You can move now and maybe you’ll get even better, and even if as you said you’ll never completely physically recover or see again...”

“Then what, Puff? What is there for me? A blind cripple. Or if your princess decides so in the end, then I’m in for a public execution.”

“I… I don’t know, miss Fury, but I refuse to believe there is no hope for you. I will vouch for you in front of princess Celestia herself-”

“...then they check you for my influence and guess what...”

“-mister Crest will put a good word for you no doubt. He’s no hero, but he’s a good pony and his word has weight.”

“Afterwards, Palisade will call me a mind-controlling bug followed by Bladehoof’s testimony of what I did. No, Puff. If there’s a way out for me, then… then I have to make one myself.”

“Well, if you think of something then I’ll be there to help. You have my word as a paladin-in-training.”

“Oh yes, you will be there.”

“Ominous.”

“Force of habit, Puff. Now, tell me more about your police friends. What about Crest? Is there more to him than failure?”

“Miss F-”

“I didn’t mean the last part… too much. How old is he anyway, he seems pretty young, but he doesn’t sound like that.”

“A bit over forty. I attended his birthday party. He actually recieved a surprise medal from the mayor himself for the hellhound incident.”

“Wait, how long has Crest been working here?”

“Four years, give or take. The only longer serving pony from the current squad is Bladehoof. Mister Crest takes his job seriously. Does all the required practice and paperwork. Well, he does most of the papework the others should be doing. He says it helps him keep busy. Oh, and he walks Huff every morning while he goes on patrol.”

“Huff? A… relative of yours?”

“No no no, it’s my dog. Mister Star Trail allowed me to get him from the pet shelter and called him Huff. He thought it was funny.”

“I can see that. Maybe having some competition would make you work harder, heh. Hey, I ran out of flowerbed. What gives?”

“We’re done with this side of the house. See how time flies when you’re busy?”

“That can’t be right. We just talked… for a while...”

“A lot longer, actually.”

“Still boring, though. Got anything more to share about our police friends? Something spicy. If so, I’m up for more digging in the dirt.”

“Spicy? Well, I don’t know...”

“I recognize that thoughtful tone. You know something.”

“Well, about miss Palisade’s sex journal.”

“Yeeeeees?”

“There’s a reserved spot for a batpony with a name written in pencil.”

“Come on.”

“Bladehoof.”

“She has hots for her? O ho ho ho! Tell me more.”

“Well, they once-”

***

“Damn, my legs hurt. We must have done the whole yard.”

“It’s kind of boring, being here alone now. Well, the dummy should be back after the training with Bladehoof. Come to think of it, he practices with her a lot, and she’s the best fighter in Riverside according to him.”

“I picked him well. Food, strong slav- serv- companion.”

“Note to self, feed when he’s back, and fill him venom again. Bit by bit, I need him completely under my control.”

“Mine and no one else’s.”

***

“Eeeeeey, Fuuuryyy...”

“Crest?! I was trying to sleep, you oaf.”

“Sorryy. I’m just- just checking y’know. Iz It my duty to keep ‘n aye on yoo.”

*Sniff sniff.*

“You’re drunk. No, you’re absolutely wasted, and you stink of-”

“Whizzy!”

“Whizzy?”

“Whistling Wing, but shee told mee to call her Whizzy. I’ve g- got anodder date t’morrow, and shee said it wud be hot!”

“Crest I-”

“So screw yoo! In a good way cuz I like yoo, Fury. I still got it. Ye old Crest charm. So yeah-”

*Rub rub.*

“D- don’t just scratch my ear out of nowhere. Crest, there’s something I need to tell-”

“-Yoo deserve it. Insufferable annoying buggy I like. I’d feed you, but… can yoo get waist’d from drunk love?”

*Sigh.*

“Go to sleep, Crest.”

“I’m not gonna sleep alone t’morrow…. g’night Fury.”

“Good night.”

*Clip.*

*Clop clop clip.*

*Click.* *Click.*

“...I meant that you stink of changeling, Crest...”

*Sigh.*

“Decisions decisions. They are done scouting and correctly decided to take over the chief of police. On top of that, his balls are making it way too easy.”

“Four days. He said ‘Whizzy’ had four days left in Riverside. Whistling Wing, wind whistling in the holes. Creative name, I must admit.”

“Damn, and if she gets Crest completely under her control, which she will after a night together easily, my plan B goes up in flames. No mercy from whoever is leading the gathering changelings for me.”

“I never though Star Trail and the Royal Guards would become my secondary problem.”

It begins.

*Curious sniffing.*

“Mhmmm?”

*Hesitant sniffing.*

“Auuuaaahgh?”

*Careful, worried sniffing.*

“Crest, did you take being a little bitch too literally?”

“Woof?”

“Yes, you did. Excellent. Remember, accepting your true nature is the path to happiness.”

“Woof woof?”

“Of course it’s me again, and this time I actually can bite your head off. Where have you been all this time, you little toilet scrubber?”

“Woof, vrrrrr...”

“Huff, was it?”

“Woof woof woof woof!”

“You’re worse than the alarm clock.”

“Woof.”

“I’m getting up. Fine, fine. There, standing, not on the bed anymore. See?”

*Excited panting.*

“You know that some changelings can communicate with animals?”

“Woof?”

“The animal has to be somewhat intelligent, though.”

“Woof woof woof.”

“No, I can’t, and you’re dumb as a brick. Two points for Fury, zero for the mutt. Now go away and find Puff or whatever you normally do. No, no- I said go away, not lick my forelegs.”

“Woof woof.”

“Hmmm, am I actually that likable? No, I’m not. I’m scary. Raawr, yeah totally.”

*Tiny pawsteps skittering off.*

“Still got it.”

*Tiny pawsteps closing in.*

“Spoke too soon.”

*Clink.* *Excited panting.*

“Woof woof woof.”

“Uhh, what did you just drop in front of me? Let’s see… a leash?”

“Woof woof!”

“No, I refuse your peace offering, you’re still a disgusting little critter barely worth eating. Plus, I have my own collar and leash, far better than this simple old thing.”

*Chotic skittering.*

“Why are you running back and forth like that? Did you hit your head and can’t remember where anything is? That actually happened to me yesterday, but if you tell anypony I’m ripping you in half, slowly.”

*Woof!*

“Or it could have been hangover just from sniffing the liquor cloud around Crest. Speaking of the idiot, I haven’t heard of him yesterday at all. He must have slept with his new changeling owner and gone straight to the station in the morning. Unless I severely underestimated their influence, they still can’t just make the chief of the police disappear.”

“Woof?”

“No, that’s really beyond your ability to handle, dog.”

“Wrrrrrr!”

“Let my leg go! I swear if you bite down I will FLAY YOU!”

“Wrrrrr... woof!”

“Stop pulling me. Gee, I’m coming, I’m coming. Heh, can’t even say that without thinking of Crest. I mean, the words least likely for him to say. HAH, Fury million, imaginary Crest still zero.”

“Wmmf wmmf!”

“You want me to… walk you? I’d rather, ah screw it, you’re worse than the ponies. Now stay still, you braindead blob of flesh so that I can put the leash on you. Puff would kill- be upset if I lost you and for some reason that bothers me.”

“...”

“Good to know you can obey if you want to. Now, I’ll take you around the garden, that’s all. I think the last two days of digging in the dirt gave me a good idea how the place looks. If we went further away then you’d be walking me.”

“Woow woof woof woof woof!”

“No, that’s a horrible idea, you furball. Now, leash in hoof, bare idea of where I am and where I’m facing, urge to stomp the irritating creature rising. I think I’m ready.”

“-ten, eleven, door to the hall. Off by two, damn!”

“-thirteen, fourteen- ow! Stupid door. Off by one. I should have gotten the hint when the dog stopped.”

*Click.*

“Let’s go, but if you try to drag me I’m turning back instant-”

*WREEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!*

“Wha- AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!”

*-WREEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE-*

“W- ts- g- ing o-?”

“AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!”

*-WREEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE-*

“O- no! I’m s- s- ry.”

*-WREEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE-*

*Click.*

“Grrrrngngg… ahhhhh haaah ahhh haaah...”

“I’m SO SORRY, miss Fury!”

“P-hnngh-ff...”

*Click.*

“I took the collar off. Just lie still, it’ll be okay soon. It’s just pain, nothing worse. I thought mister Crest told you how your collar worked.”

“Aaaah… I… I… forgot… wait no… he didn’t...”

“Alright, just lie here and breathe, miss Fury. It’ll be okay.”

“My… chitin… is crawling away from me...”

“It just feels like that, you’re alright.”

“Fire ants eating my leg holes...”

“Shhh, your only problem is a bit bruised muzzle from when you hit the ground. Everything else is just the collar.”

“Fuuuuuck that hurt. Aaaaahnnng...”

“That sounded rather… lewd. Nice stretch, though.”

“The aftereffects are curious. Maybe we could try all that again with the collar on the lowest setting? Does it have settings?”

“I’m… not sure...”

“Phew, no ringing in my ears, no more acidic fire in my veins, muzzle hurts only slightly. Wet like a river. What’s wrong with me? I’m not a warrior because I enjoy the pain, am I? No, definitely not. Agony is freaking agony. When it hurts a bit less, though...”

“I’m still here, miss Fury.”

“You heard NOTHING.”

“I’m pretty sure I-”

“You will forget what I said just now.”

“Yes, miss Fury.”

“Good, still under control when I need it. Should I refill you a bit? Nah. Normal Puff, activate!”

“Huh? I blanked out for a second there. Do you want me to go and get something for your muzzle, miss Fury?”

“I’ll be fine. Thanks.”

“Woof woof woof woof!”

“I WILL GRIND YOUR BONES TO DUST SO THAT YOU’D FEEL THE TINIEST BIT OF WHAT I DID JUST NOW!”

*Fearful whining.*

“Miss Fury, please, he can’t have known. He’s just a small pet.”

“If you felt a fraction of what I had, Puff, you’d be hanging the creature by the neck yourself.”

*Whining.*

“Please… he’s a good doggy.”

“...why do I cave whenever this dummy asks for something? That has to be magic...”

“Fine, I’ll walk your stupid dog around the yard, but if he as much as tries to drag me somewhere...”

“You can even take his collar off and he’ll just run around. I forgot to walk him earlier before my practice so he must have been antsy.”

“Tsk tsk tsk, that deserves a punishment.”

“I’m sorry, miss Fury.”

“That doesn’t cut it. I want your mouth, Puff. No, actually, I want a lot more, but this is what I’ll settle for. Come here.”

“You’re really soft despite that chitin, miss Fury.”

“And you taste better than any other pony I’ve had. Mhmmm...”

“Mhmmm.”

“Hmm, you learn quickly, Puff.”

“Heheh, thank you. If I learn slower, will I get more lessons?”

“If you learn faster, we’ll move onto the advanced ones.”

“I’ll do my best.”

“I don’t doubt that. So, you’re doing your gardening again?”

“Mhm, and a bit of watering. The pegasi scheduled today to be sunny. Speaking of which, I can bring you a folding chair if you want. The fresh air will do you good.”

“I have some things to think about so why not?”

“Great, do you want it immediately?”

“Hmmm, nah. I’ll walk around a bit with the furball DELIBERATELY TRYING TO HURT ME!”

“Miss Fury-”

“I didn’t mean it, Puff.”

“He he he, Half-hearted?”

*Sigh.*

“I guess so. Huff, come here.”

“Woof woof woof.”

“Come, but if you make me trip I’ll crush your skull.”

“Woof?”

“You better believe it.”

***

“Fury. Fury!”

“Mhmm… Crest? Damn it, can’t you check up on me BEFORE I go to sleep?”

“Guess who’s just been called a real zebra barbarian in bed?”

“High warlord Mugumbe?”

“Ha ha, very funny. I just made a mare’s world tremble.”

“Yeah, mine. I’m shaking half from trying not to laugh and half from the effort of stopping myself from punching you.”

*Sigh.*

“I don’t know what I was expecting...”

“Look, Crest. I’m happy you finally had some action, I really am. The thing is that if you really needed it that badly then I offered myself enough times.”

“It’s not about that! Well, ONLY about that. I’ve got a shot at something more. At my age, I can’t just go and pick up mares whenever I want. Whizzy is thinking about something deeper as well.”

“You know what, Crest? Good for you. I’ll be happy to listen to you blab about everything tomorrow including the nastiest details. You know what? Leave out the mushy stuff, just write down the smut. But for now, please, PISS OF AND LET ME SLEEP!”

“Alright, alright. Heh, Fury, you know… I might get mad at you sometimes, but you’re a good friend. I never expected things to come to this when I found you in Star Trail’s basement.”

“What, me beating you to death with your own ripped off leg because you don’t let me close my eyes, metaphorically?”

“Hahaha, right. I get the hint. Good night, Fury.”

“Night, Crest.”

*Leaving hoofsteps.*

*Click.*

*Silence.*

“Damn it, get up, Fury, now! That doll sounding like Crest is your timer ticking down. Alright, you can’t see a thing and you’re inside enemy territory. Time to see if you’re right and and ready for the grinder, or if the stupid ponies are right and you are still worth something.”

“Stop! No panic! You knew this was a thing that could happen. Crest is completely under their control, and they know about you. There’s no way this ‘Whizzy’ didn’t squeeze everything about you out of him.”

“Now, if you panic, you’ll just get lost in the darkness. Think and remember. It’s fourteen steps straight to the bedroom door. Eleven through the living room. Nineteen if you hug the left wall.”

“Good, I can still count. Now it’s twenty-ish to the main door and- oooooh crap! It’s unlocked. Crest could have forgotten, but in his state I doubt that. I’m pretty sure he’s obeying his mistress’ commands to the letter. So, someone will be here shortly, with no alarm to stop them. Crest checked up on me, they’ll wait until I’m asleep, and then… then what?”

“The infiltrator wants me dead for his personal reasons, and he’s the head honcho here in Riverside. If the other changelings aren’t directly in league with him, they might want to rescue me from the police.”

“Yeah, right. They know what my relationship with the police squad is.”

“Heh, then they know more than I do. What now? Plan B is out of the window. Time for plan A? Time for plan A!”

“Puff?”

“Hmm… he must be sleeping in the house, I can sense my influence over him. Let’s explore… quietly. Every minute counts.”

“Nine, ten, ow- crap! Stairs? This place has more floors?! Just my luck...”

*Creeeeak.*

“That was actually easier than I thought. Now, I don’t know anything about this area, and I doubt I have the time to map it.”

“Heh, Puff feels like exactly the type to sleep with his dog in the same room.”

“HUFF!”

*Skittering incoming from the left.*

*Sniffing.*

“Come, fleabag. We need Puff.”

“One, two… ten, eleven, door cracked open. Yeah, he’s inside.”

“Puff. Puff!”

“Whhzhwha? Miss Fury, what are you doing here?”

“No time. We’re in deep shit now, and so is this entire city. Present neck, now!”

“Yess, miss Fury.”

*Chomp.*

“Whuh, wha? You’re not feeding?”

“No, I’m pumping you full of my venom. I need to have complete control over you in case you get bitten or afflicted by a mind-control spell. For all intents and purposes, Puff, you’re my doll now. You have no free will… and… I’m really sorry, but you won’t have it anymore. I filled you with too much over past few days. If I call, you will obey no matter what.”

“I understand, miss Fury, but I’m scared.”

“I know, I know. Your life is completely in someone else’s hooves. Trust that I know. But you’re in luck, Puff.”

“How come?”

“Just like with mine, your life is in the best hooves available. Now we need to find the police members.”

“Of course, but what’s going on?”

“Changelings are making a move on Riverside, and I’ll be damned if I let my lunchboxes be taken away.”

A true paladin.

“What?! Miss Fury, what do you mean?”

“It’ll take too long to explain, but I think Riverside is a gathering place for changelings recovering after the invasion.”

“Is it that bad? Maybe we can help them and-”

“Stop it right there, Puff. Few of us might see things like I do now. What will you do about the hundreds of bugs with sharp teeth and mind control capabilities who don’t? I know my kind better than you ever will, and trust me when I say that the best we can do is get the hay out. Though I can understand how my sunny disposition and friendly behaviour could leave you open to the being nice option.”

“You’re much friendlier than you make yourself to be.”

“We’ll be about as dead as they make us to be if we don’t haul ass. Can you carry me?”

“You’re rather light, miss Fury. Let me get some food for Huff.”

“Grrrrr, fine. Being light means my chitin armor is weak. I am a queen-tier changeling, but we warriors aren’t much good with magic in the first place, and I’m pretty sure that part of me is broken as well. I might be able to stun a changeling or two through the short-range mental connection if they aren’t too fed, but that’s about it so we should avoid fighting as much as we can.”

“Climb on my back then. Huff, here are three cans of food in case I’m not back tomorrow. Now stay here and be a good boy.”

“Woof woof! Whine.”

“I’ll be alright. We’ll save the day and be right back. You won’t even notice I’m gone. Hop on, miss Fury.”

“Hmm, much more comfortable than when you used to carry me like a sack of potatoes. We ride forth, my faithful steed!”

“You don’t have to swing your forelegs like that, just grab tight.”

“I don’t know how I missed it, but you’re really well-built.”

*Thudding of hooves on stairs suddenly cut short.*

“Wait, what’s the plan then? Do we raise an alarm or something?”

“They got to Crest. I have very little doubt that they have the mayor as well. We need somepony actually helpful… well this can turn out to be a terrible idea. How about Bladehoof? Can we perusade her, or will she fly off and tell the first controlled pony about me?”

“Do you think they have that much control over Riverside’s citizens?”

“The usual progress is to first get to the vital positions in society to keep other operations secret. The city leaders, armed force commanders, politicians, then it’s any way of communication with outside, and citizens are actually long way down the list. However, from what I can faintly sense there are far too many changelings all over the place. All those who have survived the explosion and landed around need energy to recover, and the amount makes it easier for tourists passing through to notice something strange. The direct takeover must have been happening over few nights, not longer.”

“But why all of the sudden? And without even rumors.”

“For the rumors, were you listening? As for why the sudden activity… no… did I guess right?”

“Miss Fury?”

“Where are we?”

“We’re walking up Ridgeback road. Bladehoof should be dancing tonight, and the clubs are in the city center. Umm, how do we hide you, or do I just leave you in an alley nearby?”

“Damn it, some obstacle at every step. I don’t have it planned out that well. Fine, throw me behind a dumpster somewhere and bring Bladehoof. If she’s under another changeling’s control I will know and you’ll have to knock her out and let me bite her. You fed me really well, so I think my venom should be able to override that of others, and it will certainly overpower changeling magical control.”

“I’m worried, miss Fury.”

“Yeah, me too.”

“No, I mean I’m worried I messed up hard and you’re just using me to gain control of others.”

“For your information, up until now you’ve been doing everything out of your free will, but I won’t hesitate to force you. I’ll do something nice for you later if it makes you feel better, but now is not the time to doubt me. I know you can’t sense the changelings in town, but I can. You’ll see for sure when we tackle Crest or somepony else under control.”

“I wish I had a choice in the matter.”

“I’m glad you don’t. You see, when you need a job done it’s a good idea to have some completely obedient drones at hoof.”

“I hope I’m not a throwaway one.”

“Me saying anything won’t change what you think, I guess, so I’m not going to bother. Why did you stop?”

“I’m looking for a place to hide you. Are you alright with-”

“Puff, listen to me! This isn’t important, I’ll keep standing where you tell me to. Just freaking GO and get Bladehoof!”

“Alright, miss Fury. Just stay here, I’ll -oof- move the dumpster a little so you can hide behind it in case of trouble. You should be fine just standing next to it, there’s nopony around and it’s hard to see this far from the street lamp. I’ll be off, then.”

“Just pull her off the stage if you need to.”

“Yes, miss Fury.”

“NOT LITERALLY! Damn too useful mind control.”

***

“Umm, I’m really sorry, Bladehoof.”

“I told you not to come when I’m dancing. It’s weird for both of us.”

“If it helps, you’re really pretty.”

“Not really, but I’ll take it as a compliment. Now what is this all about?”

“Well, please don’t be mad at me, because-”

“I told him to.”

“Fury?! Puff? The hay?”

“Puff, is she armed?”

“No.”

“Good. Now, bat, stand still.”

“Puff, she got to you...”

“Stand still before I order him to knock you out. You can either trust me, or hurt him. He will attack you, he doesn’t have a choice.”

“I will hear you out.”

“Good. Puff, if she moves, immobilize her immediately with all you’ve got.”

“Yes, miss Fury.”

“...you bitch...”

“I heard that. Now, let me give you the short version - changelings are gathering in numbers within Riverside, and they aren’t as fun to hang out with as I am. The only reason I’m not biting your neck right now is because they haven’t gotten to you yet. They got Crest, though, and if the chief of police was the target, then all higher ups are already taken over.”

“You’re crazy if you think I’ll believe that.”

“Crest’s sudden marefiend.”

“He did boast a lot in past few days… wait, how do you know I’m not under control?”

“I’d smell the venom in you. Magical control is different, though, and that’s why we’re here. I realize this is stupid of me, but you of all ponies deserve a choice - magical control is possible to override and block with venom. Will you take the pleasant route or do I have to order Puff to hurt himself to obey me.”

“What? I though you’d make him fight me.”

“I wanted to do that at first, but I decided against it. I will make Puff slit his throat if you keep wasting my time.”

“Miss Fury?”

“Be quiet.”

“Yes, miss Fury.”

“I will rip you to pieces, changeling!”

“We don’t have time for this. Bite or kiss?”

*Sigh.*

“I’ll go with the kiss, I suppose.”

“Alright, come over here. I’m pretty sure I’m already talking into a wall.”

“I wonder if your tongue is as good as it is dirty. Mhmm-”

“Mmmm- wha- OW!”

*Crunch!* *Slam.*

“Miss Fury!”

*Furious coughing.*

“P- haaah- Puff, stop HER! No matter what -haaah- STOP HER!”

“Yes, miss Fury.”

“Puff, stop! I won’t hesitate to- huurk?!”

*Chaotic fighting.*

“Puff- Puff- P-”

*Crunch.*

“Done, miss Fury.”

“That last blow sounded awful. You didn’t crack her skull, did you?”

“I really, really hope I didn’t. Come here and check her out.”

“Good, still breathing, only concussed, but hard. Damn, you were merciless, Puff. I like that. Now let me fill her.”

*Chomp!*

“Hnnng-”

“Good. I would have preferred the kiss, but she chose this way. She didn’t have to clock me that hard. I guess she got what she deserved.”

“Unnngh-”

“Stand up, Bladehoof.”

“Nnngh, yes… Fury.”

“Normal Bladehoof, activate.”

“Wha- huh- FURY!”

“STOP!”

“Hngh-”

“I have you under complete control, Bladehoof, so calm down and stop. You weren’t under any spell or venom, thankfully.”

“Well now I am!”

“Yes, and you’ll thank me later. With the amount I’ll be pumping into you in a minute, you’ll be immune to any control besides mine. I am pretty well-fed and I doubt the others are.”

“Miss Fury, please don’t make her like me-”

“Be quiet, Puff, I won’t. Besides, that would take time and repeated doses.”

“So, Bladehoof, I’ll fill you and let you be yourself. However, when I order you something you will do it despite the strain on your body. Call it suspended survival instinct or something. You will simply go beyond your limits to obey me.”

“So that’s how Puff got me.”

“Exactly, but his case is a bit special. I’ll tell you later and accept any punishment you decide I deserve.”

“So what now? Since I don’t have much of a choice other than to obey.”

“You sound pretty cool with it now.”

“I am practical.”

“I knew you’d be the best one to start with. Puff, take me on your back again. We’ll have to split up, since I’m pretty sure the changelings know by now I escaped from Star Trail’s house. Puff and I will get Crest. Do you know where he lives?”

“I do.”

“Excellent, at least something’s going marginally well. You, Bladehoof, go get Palisade and bring her to Crest’s house. She’ll get as much time with her head between my legs as she wants.”

“Why, though?”

“We save Crest from his Whizzy’s control, same with Palisade, and get the hay away from Riverside. I could do without Palisade, but I’m an old softie and know you’d be begging me to get her later. Now while we still have some degree of secrecy we need to do as much as we can.”

“Alright, I’ll go get her. You want her in Crest’s house ASAP, right?”

“Yes. See, Puff? That’s initiative. If she keeps that up, I might end up replacing you.”

“Don’t even joke about that, miss Fury.”

“Heh, joke, let’s roll.”

*Disappearing flapping of wings.*

“Damn, I forgot about the batpony thing. At that rate, she’ll be at Crest’s before us. Are you okay, Puff?”

“A bit bruised, but nothing big.”

“Good, because Crest will be just like you, I think. Well, that depends on how much venom his owner had the time to pump into him.”

“Do you think I can take him on if he goes berserk?”

“The love his changeling stole from him was the same my queen took from Shining Armor - plentiful but fake. What you gave me and still are giving me is different, Puff. The venom plays a role in it, but your willingness adds… nutrition. I think I- No, I WILL free Crest, and you WILL knock him out if you have to. Now move, we’re running out of time.”

***

“I misjudged you, Fury, but I guess a changeling doesn’t change as much as ponies think.”

“He’s armed, miss Fury!”

“And you’re not?!”

“I rushed off without thinking!”

“Damn it, I knew this was going too well. New orders, Puff. Grab a chair and beat him up with it.”

“She’s using you, Puff, but I’m guessing you don’t have much choice at this point. I should have let Star Trail dissect her when I had the chance.”

“Puff, GO! I can sense them closing in. Break his leg if you have to, somepony else will carry him.”

“I apologize in advance, Puff, but death is better than losing all free will.”

“Mister CREEE-AAAH?!”

“PUFF!”

“I’m- I’m-”

“Stop trying to answer me and bash his head in!”

“Miss-”

“Non-lethally, idiot!”

*Even more chaotic grunting.*

“...I’ll just back away before Crest realizes he should be going after me and forces Puff to defend me...”

“Aaaah?!”

“Puff?”

“PUFF?!”

“PUFF!”

“You caused this, changeling, and now you’ll finally get what you deserve.”

“Crest, listen to me. Your Whistling Wind is a changeling and she’s got you under control. You would never willingly hurt Puff, nor say something as dumb as death or free will. I know you well enough, I think.”

“Puff is your fault, bug. You made him attack me. I hope you burn in Tartarus for that!”

“WAIT! CREST, ISN’T IT WEIRD THAT SOME MARE WHO MET YOU ONCE SUDDENLY JUMPED INTO BED WITH YOU A DAY OR TWO AFTER TALKING TO YOU FOR THE FIRST TIME?”

“STOP MAKING FUN OF MY LOVE LIFE!”

“...well, I tried...”

“Die, b-”

*SLAM!*

*Frothing and groaning.*

“...now, miss Fury...”

“Pu-?”

“...bite him...”

*Chomp!*

“Huh? Wha? Owww. Damn it, Fury, what gives?”

“DON’T YOU ‘WHAT GIVES?’ ME, YOU IDIOT, AND REMEMBER WHAT YOU JUST DID!”

“Fur- PUFF?! PUFF! Oh dear Celestia, what have I done? Puff, I have a first aid kit, but I-”

“Go get it.”

“Yes, Fury.”

*Panicked rushing off.*

“How bad is it, Puff?”

“...bad… I feel… cold...”

“Hold on, Puff. I’m a warrior, not a magician. All I can do is kill… and not even that anymore.”

“...so cold… mister Crest… he’s really good… with a sword...”

“Don’t talk. Damn, I can feel the blood. There’s so damn much...”

“...are you still there, miss Fury...?”

“I am, I am, I am, and I will be, Puff. Don’t you dare stop breathing, that’s an ORDER!”

“...I guess… I really did… kiss... just the right mare… the one...I liked...”

“Puff? No no no no no, Puff? You can’t… not now that we’re nearly done!”

“...”

“...Puff?”

“...”

*Incoming hoofsteps.*

“Puff? No, please, Fury do something. Bite him and tell him to get up again. Something, please...”

“...I don’t know what...”

“He’s not breathing. I need a doctor, not first aid… no, I need a miracle.”

“Crest?”

“Y- yes?”

“His last words were that you were really good with a sword. No hate, no blame or regret, just a compliment.”

“That only makes it worse, Fury...”

“I know, Crest. I hate you. You listened to your dick instead of your head.”

“I’m such an idiot. You were right in what you said, Fury.”

“I hate you, Crest.”

“...I know...”

“I hate you so much.”

Gathered

“...I’m sorry...”

“You should be.”

“...I’m sorry...”

“Tell that to his mom.”

“I will, Fury. If we get out of here, I will do that in person.”

“I wish I had something snarky to say, but… I just want you to stab yourself in the eye.”

*Shhhhh.*

“Yes, Fury.”

“Put that sword away, dumbass, that wasn’t an order. Where the heck is Bladehoof?”

“Do you think they got her?”

“Nah, unless she got terribly unlucky. She wouldn’t be a priority target.”

“Whiz- I mean Whistling Wing, she bit me… I even pondered it for a moment… but I was so happy, and-”

“And then it was too late. Crest, I know how it works.”

“...and I could have said something the first time you mentioned her...”

“What?”

“Nothing, Crest. When Bladehoof brings Palisade I need both of you to take her out as fast as possible so that nopony has a chance to use a weapon. I’ll bite her, and we’ll run. What are the best ways out of the city, Crest?”

“Train or a caravan, but wait, can’t we do something? We’re the only ones who can save-”

“They know about me, Crest. They know about my suspiciously friendly relationship with you and the police. I am still full of Puff’s love, but I don’t have the strength to get enough ponies under my control for it to matter. My venom is concentrated and powerful, but that advantage will go away if I overdo it, and any other changeling will override it eventually. No, I have a better plan.”

“Really?”

“Yes. Our escape is the key, and not only that, it has to be our public escape. The changelings have to know we got out.”

“Why? That just puts us in more danger. If we sneak away and inform guards in nearby settlements-”

“How long do you think it’ll take for a decisive action to be mounted? By the time we get to a big city, they call for help to Canterlot, then some stupid organizing of soldiers, and after that the march back to Riverside - there will be nopony left.”

“And what will our public escape help?”

“Changelings have no idea how long the retaliation will take, they can only guess and we can bluff. If they know somepony is leaving to get help, they will likely feed as much as they can over a day or two, and then fly away to hide in a hole somewhere. I don’t think kidnapping the whole population will be a viable option under a time limit.”

“Likely?”

“That, or they will kill everypony out of spite.”

“Fury!”

“WHAT? Seriously, Crest, what the fuck do you want me to do?! I can’t magically spawn a pink bubble which will blow hundreds of changelings out of town, make them fly into the sky, and then go splat on the ground. Doing that would be monstrous.”

“Point taken. Still...”

“Yeah, you want to protect your ponies just like I would protect changelings who needed my help, and the worst part is that these guys DO. However, most of them wouldn’t listen or care about my experiences with you. I don’t have a better idea than to flee and put a timed threat on the ones trying to take over the town, and neither do you.”

“I-”

“Stupid fantasy heroism aside.”

*Sigh.*

“You’re right...”

“Good, now take a deep breath, make the same calm and detached face you made when you killed Puff, and do what I need you to do.”

“You really didn’t need to mention that.”

“I DID, Crest. I want you to stew in what you did, and I won’t forget as long as I live.”

“Don’t you think I feel the same?”

“I don’t care, Crest. I might feel for you tomorrow if we survive, but now I want you to suffer, and I can’t do it physically because I need you. So, as soon as Palisade and Bladehoof arrive through the front door, I’m ordering both of you to tackle and immobilize her.”

“Yes, Fury.”

“THEN you will explain what happened, because Bladehoof will try to rip my head off as soon as she finds out.”

“I will tell them everything, don’t worry.”

*Click.* *Careful hoofsteps.*

“...you’ll get your chance, Crest...”

“...I know. Do we meet them or wait...?”

“...do you want the first thing they see be Puff’s body...?”

“...understood, let’s go...”

“...lead me...”

“...alright, can I use my wing or will you threaten to rip it off again...”

“...no time for bullshit, Crest, move...”

*Tap tap tap.*

“It’s us!”

“Coming, Bladehoof.”

*Click.*

“Now!”

“Wha-? Ah! Blade-? Cre-aaaah?!”

*Thump!* *Thud!*

“The hay do you think you’re doing? Wait, SHE GOT YOU! HEEEEEEEEEEEEEL-mmph!”

“Good job, Bladehoof.”

“Thank you, Commander, get her hind legs- ooof- damn earthpony strength! Where’s Puff when you need him?”

“Quiet, Bladehoof, and hold her muzzle.”

“D-damn! I’m trying, but she’s biting! Palisade, stop that or I’ll have to break your nose. we need to make sure you’re not under changeling control.”

“She got to you! I’m the only one left who isn’t under her control! I know how it feels, and I’m alright. I’m-AH!”

*Crunch!* *Slam!* *Thud!*

“Commander?!”

“Crest? That sounded pretty brutal even by my standards.”

“Bladehoof, you will understand in a second. Fury, bite her. I will not let her resistance force me to do something even worse… again.”

“Commander… where is Puff?”

*Chomp!*

“Hnnngh- aaaaaah that feels so damn goood, Fury...”

“Good, I can count on you, Palisade, to think with your crotch the second I bite into your neck.”

“Mmmmm thank you...”

“Was she under changeling influence, Fury?”

“Nah, not really. I just wanted to keep her from doing anything stupid and I know you wouldn’t like her eventually becoming food so I’m letting her keep her brain. Now for the terrible part, let her go.”

“I’m not a fan of having my head slammed repeatedly into the floor, boss.”

“Palisade, Bladehoof, I couldn’t afford to waste time, or you might have made me… do something terrible.”

“Commander, where is Puff? I won’t ask again.”

Escape

“Puff is… Puff is dead, Bladehoof. I killed him.”

“Wha… what? B- b- b- boss? This isn’t funny.”

“I’m not joking, Palisade.”

“CREEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEESSSSSSSSSSTTTTTTTTTTTTTT!”

“Freeze, Bladehoof.”

*Incoherent growl.*

“Fury… what did you do to him?”

“Puff helped me free Crest from changeling control. Unfortunately-”

“Unfortunately, I was armed and Puff wasn’t. Fury had nothing to do with it. In fact, she bit me and I can clearly recall what the changeling did to me in the bedroom. That’s why I don’t want to do anything like that again, and that’s why we need to get out of Riverside immediately.”

“Can… can I see him?”

“Me too!”

“He’s in the bedroom. I cleaned him up as well as I could. Say your goodbyes and meet us by the front door. We’ll be on watch.”

*Twin hoofsteps leaving.*

“Their eyes...”

“Crest?”

“They looked at me as if I ruined everything they know and love.”

“You did, Crest. They loved the simple guy, and I know why.”

“Please, Fury...”

“I hate you, Crest. Tomorrow, I will start thinking clearly and forgive you. So might they, but now I’m halfway to making you slit your own throat.”

“I’m a failure...”

“Yes.”

*Hesitant incoming hoosteps.*

“We’re leaving.”

“I don’t want to leave him there like that.”

“Do you want to join him, Bladehoof?”

“...no...”

“Then the best we can do for him is to survive. Crest, take me on your back-”

“I will, Fury.”

“Palisade?”

“I am far stronger than the Commander.”

“Fury.”

“Crest.”

“You have all this planned out. This isn’t something you’re coming up with on the spot.”

“I… you remember how Bladehoof found me hanging on the fence in the police station? A changeling infiltrator drained the love I stole from Palisade earlier and put me into that position. It took me a while, but I eventually figured out there were more changelings around, and I was worried they would think the same as the changeling who wanted me dead. The next time I sensed him around was much later and I didn’t want them to know I was on your side by then.”

“The beating on the way back from the Riverside tour...”

“Exactly.”

“Why didn’t you tell me earlier then?”

“...”

“Fury?”

“My… my plan wasn’t… I… I wanted… to gain control of you and present you to whoever is in charge of the organized changelings in order to prove that I was still a worthwhile asset to the hive, and not something to be disposed of.”

“Fury...”

“I guess both of us played a role in what happened tonight, Crest.”

“And now that you have your control, what are you going to do, Fury? The Commander, Palisade, and I won’t even breathe if you order us not to, so you’ve achieved your goal. You got all of us, all of us but Puff.”

“The plan stays the same. We’e leaving. The infiltrator who I think is in charge isn’t going to let me go, especially now that Crest was bagged by a different changeling.”

“Alright, train or on hoof?”

“Palisade?”

“We’re leaving. Whether of our own free will or on her command is not important. We’re leaving, so stop talking and grab some food. Do you have anything that can last a day or two, boss? Oh, and more weapons if possible. If someone, be they a controlled pony or a changeling, tries to stop us… I’ll show them that they shouldn’t have touched Puff.”

“Technically-”

“Shut up, Fury.”

“Be quiet.”

“Not now, Fury.”

“Ooookay. Onwards, my earthpony steed!”

***

“...I can feel them gathering, everypony...”

“...we should have taken the train...”

“...we needed some of them to see us leave...”

“...I know what the plan is, I just don’t like it...”

“...shush, you two. We know they know about us, and we’re almost at the south gate...”

“...I envy you, Bladehoof. You’re not making a sound...”

“...batpony talents. Though I still think I should fly up and see where they are...”

“...straight ahead, Bladehoof. Once they spot us, we leg it. Got the alchemical flashbang ready, Crest…?”

“...got the vial on my neck, and I’m ready to toss it...”

“...alright, here goes- why did you stop?...”

“There are... hundreds of them.”

“What? That can’t be! I’m sensing ten, fifteen at most.”

“You warriors aren’t the smartest, are you?”

“You...”

“What, can’t even remember the name? Well, there’s no reason you should, but you can call me Six, a rank you never got.”

“Shut up, you sack of hot air!”

“Mouth, that’s all you have left. Well, I guess some of us need to unwind a little after an operation like this, so that mouth will be put to good use. After we scrub that little brain of yours, but that shouldn’t take long.”

“Wait, Six? How dare you assume such a high rank by yourself, infiltrator?! That’s a direct insult to the queen herself.”

“Heh heh heh heh. I don’t have to answer to a waste of oxygen like yourself. I can- ggrhhrahh?!”

*Choking noises.*

“I may be blind, but I’m not a starving wreck like you, infiltrator! I still have SOME power over the REAL LOWER RANKS. How dare you-”

*Thud!*

“You know what the punishment for disobeying your superior is, Sixteen. On top of that, you dare to use your influence against him? Tsk tsk tsk...”

*Gasps.*

“Hey, she looks like you, only bigger, and terrifying.”

“Palisade, remind me to demote you if we survive this.”

“Commander, don’t make promises you can’t keep.”

“M-m-m-m-m-my queen?!”

“Sixteen, Sixteen, why are you refusing to do what your hive needs you to do? After all, you know best how dire our resource situation is, especially now when we need to recover.”

“M-my queen, you knew about this? Wait, why are you here?”

“You were by my side, my loyal underling, when the explosion happened. Quite a few of us landed around this backwater hole, and the few surviving ones in range quickly got my command to gather here and… regain strength.”

“...drain everypony...”

“You talk as if you have a problem with that. Quite hypocritical of you, isn’t it? You are practically glowing with stolen love. However, I can clearly sense that you have little to no power despite it. Such pity, I could have used a resourceful changeling like you. Someone who, despite her predicament, was able to gain control of the whole peacekeeper force of a small city.”

“Does that mean… c- can I go back home?”

“FURY, NO!”

“You can’t be serious, not after all that.”

“What about Puff?”

“I must agree with those ponies, we have no need for somepony in your shape, no matter your achievements. The hive will emerge stronger from this, now give us the love you stole. You won’t need it anymore. I know that you will obey, because you had the potential to be my best underling. One last service to the hive, Sixteen.”

“Ha haha hahahaah hahahahaaaaaaaaaaaa! Stole? STOLE?! STOLE, YOU COCKROACH? I AM A WARRIOR! I DO NOT STEAL LIKE A THIEF, LIKE A FILTHY INFILTRATOR! I TAKE WHAT IS MINE BY FORCE OR WHAT I EARN, AND I EARNED ALL THIS.”

“As you wish. I wanted to grant you the mercy of quick death, but we’ll have to do it the fun way. Changelings, she’s not one of us anymore. FEAST!”

“It’s been nice knowing you, Commander.”

“Fury, climb down, please. I’ve got roaches to skewer.”

“Alright, girls, you’ve been much better subordinates than I was a boss.”

“All three of you, shut the fuck up! HEY, MY EX-QUEEN! LET ME TEACH YOU ONE PONY SAYING - READ’EM AND WEEP!”

*Whooosh.* *Boom!*

*Strained groaning from all over the place.*

“My head… what… what did you... do?!”

“Not used to having control stripped away from you? Not used to be cut off from everyone else? Not used to be ALONE?! My body may be broken, but my head works just fine, and you should know best how strong love given freely is. Oh wait, bug, you don’t, you never have, AND YOU NEVER WILL! ”

“I will... destroy… you...”

“And by the way, my name is Fury. Crest, move your ass right now!”

“Fury, aside from their queen they are all lying on the ground, groaning and foaming, and even she can barely stand. That shockwave wrecked them.”

“...same goes for me, you dumbass. The love I got from Puff is draining fast, and I can’t heep the mental pressure up for long. We need to get out before she realizes I can’t do this again...”

“...but you knocked out over a hundred changelings...”

“...and I can’t even keep my control over you anymore which means I can’t order you to shut up and MOVE. So if you value your life, and mine, and that of those two mares, you will order them to bolt right the fuck now, Crest...”

“...we can’t leave Riverside-”

“...Commander, she’s right. We’ve been over this, and it hurts me as much as it hurts you, but if you don’t move I’ll personally kick you all the way to Canterlot...”

“...Bladehoof...”

“Damn it, shut up, all of you. Hold on, Fury, now you’re going to see real earthpony strength. RUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUN!”

“Crest, the f-f-f-flashbaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaang!”

*Breaking glass.*

*Poof!*

*Wind whistling in my ears.*

“I-i-i-i-i-i-i-i-i-if y-y-y-ou can g-g-g-g-go this f-fast and h-h-hard in b-b-b-bed as w-w-well then I’m keeeeeeping yoouuuu….”

*Whoosh!* *Whoosh!*

“...d-d-damn cheat-t-t-ting pe-pe-pegasus and b-b-b-at...”

“I think we can slow down a bit, Palisade.”

“Yes, boss.”

“Bladehoof, any cloud of changelings rising over Riverside to hunt us down? I can’t see much in the darkness out here.”

“Nothing, Commander. I’m not the best one to take a guess, but I think it will take them a while to recover from Fury’s mental blast. I don’t want to jinx it, but we might be out.”

“...we are a species of bastards...”

“...Chrysalis didn’t even think about using her power to heal me...”

“...it didn’t even cross her mind...”

“Bit anticlimactic, don’t you think?”

“I was hoping we’d rescue some citizens, get them armed, and lead the resistance that will force changelings out of Riverside.”

“And get a lot of them killed, Palisade? We are about the only ponies who can fight properly. If we scoured the city for tourist bodyguards and few ponies-at-arms we might get to what… thirty ponies? We don’t even have that many weapons. Riverside is a tourist spot, at best a pass-through town. I hate to leave the citizens in changeling hooves, but after thinking about it, Fury’s idea was the correct one.”

“...I thought about betraying them, and it cost the pony who despite the teachings of the most hateful fanatic I’ve seen was what I would imagine at the word paladin...”

“So what now, boss? Dawn’s Hollow is our best stop on the way to Canterlot. They have a radio station, so we can call ahead to make sure that the Royal Guards can move out as soon as we provide a testimony about what happened.”

“...even after Puff got killed on another changeling’s orders… even after that… I still thought about selling them out to Chrysalis for my old status...”

“Yes, are you up for an all-nighter?”

“...I could have prevented all that, and I’m still more pissed off at Crest…”

“I’m fine. Still shaking, but fine. I can go all night.”

”...I mean, he was just a prey. I can’t blame him for failing to resist the perfect predator...”

“Bladehoof?”

“Fresh as a daisy, -yaaaaaawn- Commander.”

“You’ve been running on pure adrenaline until now, haven’t you?”

“Batpony stamina.”

“There is no such thing, you can't just put batpony before any other word and want us to believe it! That’s earthpony thing, my thing! Boss, she’s cheating again.”

“...we are a species of bastards...”

“Fury?”

“Hmm, what, Bladehoof?”

“You’re crying.”

“Tears of joy.”

“Hey, she’s right. Your ears are folded, and I know when you’re happy. It’s usually when you’re making fun of me. This isn’t happy, or even sadistic enjoyment.”

“Tears of shut the hell up, Crest, then.”

“It’s Puff, isn’t it?”

“Yeah… and you all better thank him for the rest of your lives, because he’s the reason you’re still here, lunchbags. I’d walk all the way to honor the memory of him, but jamming my horn into every tree along the way wouldn’t help.”

“You’ll get fat if we keep feeding you and without any exercise.”

“Not now, Crest. I’m not in the mood.”

“Sorry.”

“You should be.”

*Sigh.*

“I’m sorry, Crest. I’m mad at myself, not you. You were just an easy target for a changeling. the easiest, and I used your weaknesses myself.”

“I got used so easily...”

“Commander?”

“It didn’t need to be a changeling. If it was any smart mare I would have fallen for her. I was so easy to fool, and it almost cost the lives of an entire town. Thankfully, it cost only one.”

“You’re too harsh on yourself, Commander.”

“No, Bladehoof, not hard enough. When we’re done in Canterlot, I’ll go visit Puff’s mother. After that, I’m resigning.”

“Commander-”

“Boss-”

“Enough. I shouldn’t be in a position of power if I’m that easy to use.”

“Or maybe you got burned enough to remember it forever, Crest. We’ve learned a lot over the past week.”

“You know, you’re the last one I was expecting to be against it.”

“...maybe I’m not as much of a bastard as I’m supposed to be...”

Admission

[Attention all passengers: We have arrived at the Upper Canterlot station-]

“Careful, Fury. Steps down.”

“Yeah, yea- aaaaa?! Phew, thanks for the quick grab. These aren’t steps, these are craters leading into the abyss.”

“I didn’t hear you complain when getting onto the train.”

“Then you weren’t listening hard enough, Crest.”

*Clink clank clink clank.* *Swish.*

“Commander, we have company.”

“Common Crest, chief of Riverside police?”

“Whoah, that guy sounds super cereal.”

“Fury, I’d reign down that tongue of yours for a moment. There’s a dozen of heavily armed Royal Guards pointing their spears at you.”

“I didn’t know I was THAT hot, but it makes sense.”

“Celestia-damn it!”

“We are here to detain the changeling and escort you to the castle immediately.”

“No.”

“Boss?”

“Commander?”

“Crest?”

“I said no. She’s coming with me. If she’s to be imprisoned then thesame goes for me. She might be a changeling, but I’m a murderer.”

“Hey, guardponies, punch him for me, please.”

“Silence, changeling.”

“You can take my life, but you can’t take my tongue. I should know, I did some fun throat stuff to you during the invasion.”

“...aaaaa- I r-r-r-remember her, she-”

“Heeeey, I recall that voice. Last time I heard you, you were swearing undying loyalty to me as long as I didn’t stop. Heh heh heh.”

“Corporal Strike?”

“She hypnotized me!”

“I didn’t have to try too hard, to be honest. Eeeeh, you guards were fun. Good times, good times.”

“Common Crest, you have no authority here. The royal orders are to-”

*Click.*

“Crest, leave the shackles for later. I have some ideas.”

“Here, umm, sargeant. Now I’m shackled to her. I’m not letting her out of my sight.”

*Audible facepalm. Armored horseshoe on steel helmet.*

“While I appreciate the gesture, Crest, I’m already having trouble walking. If I have to move for ten minutes tied to you I’ll kill you, no hard feelings. Now stop being my knight in shining armor and get the shackles off.”

“Well, Fury, I… didn’t have the time to take the key with me from Riverside.”

“Hey, armored lunchbags, if you get him away from me I promise I’ll do a flip when you throw me down the mountain.”

“Hey, what are you-”

*Bzzt!* *Clink.*

“I thought the standard-issue shackles were resistant to magic, Commander.”

“Royal Guard unicorns learn an emergency spell to unlock any type of standard police restraint in case it’s used against them. Now if you please stop this and come with us…?”

“You saved me from Crest, I’ll follow you to Tartarus and back, armored lunch.”

“I’d really feel better is she was in chains.”

“Sargeant, she’s blind and she can barely move. Palisade here has been carrying her around whenever it was necessary.”

“And few times when it wasn’t. Her back is awfully comfy.”

“So are your belly and forelegs. I noticed you rubbing my chest a lot.”

“Muscular but squish pony - best pony.”

“I do my best to stay in shape.”

“QUIET! Must you do this all the time?”

“Yes, Crest. That’s the best part of my charm.”

“Nah, I’d go with the holes, and I’m not talking about-”

“Shut up, Palisade. You too, Fury. Commander, will you?”

“Thanks, Bladehoof. So, ehm, this is how things are. Please, lead us away, but I will object heavily if you split us up. We need to inform anypony in charge of the Riverside rescue operation.”

“There is more going on than you know, but if you are intent on staying with the changeling, then so be it.”

“Should we check them for mind control?”

“Do it on the way.”

“Let me inform you, sargeant, that we’ve all been repeatedly fed on by Fury and might contain traces of changeling venom.”

“If I had to rank them from the tastiest to the least, I’d say- ow! That’s gonna leave a mark!”

“Good, now you have a cutie mark of Bladehoof’s horseshoe on you ass. You’re finally a real pony.”

“Heh, got you, Crest!”

“What?”

“I’ll let you stew and figure it out.”

“Come oooon, I know you love to gloat.”

“You know me so well. That’s why you’re in my top three most favourite lunchboxes.”

“Top three?”

“I’m not good at picking favourites. Jokes aside, Crest, I got you. You’re not so brooding anymore.”

“I know what you’re doing.”

“Talking, Crest. Talking is all I can do now. Fortunately, it’s enough to take your mind off of certain things.”

“...”

“Fury?”

“Yes, my faithful steed?”

“Please, stop calling me that. The guards have flying carriages here and we can’t all fit into one.”

“Crest and I into one. You two into the other.”

“Why is the changeling-”

“Shut up, guard, or I swear to whatever star is keeping me alive I will fill your ass full of eggs faster than you can say broodmother! We escaped damn Chrysalis herself, and we’re here to help you save some ponies who will after what happened probably hate my kind even more now, but we’re still here. So shut up, chain and muzzle me if you need to, but let Crest hold my fucking hoof the whole way!”

“...you didn’t have to make me sound like some weakling, Fury...”

“Sargeant?”

“Corporal, the police chief and the changeling are coming with me and Crusher in the first one. You and Stunning go in the second. Pegasi are on the watch around. Move.”

“Yes, sir!”

“See, Crest? There’s a pony you can learn a lot from.”

“I’m not one to yell.”

“You can threaten quietly. I’ll give you a quick course if you want.”

“Careful, high step. The carriage is right in front of you.”

“Hmm, not much room, but being sandwiched between you and a muscular guard does have its charm. I have some suggestion for improvement. First, the guard takes his armor off-”

“I don’t find you threatening or attractive, changeling. My duty is to get you to the castle dungeons for question- get that foreleg away from my shoulders before I’m forced to pacify you.”

“Crest, he’s mean to me.”

“He’s supposed to. Did you forget that you were kept with us based on false orders?”

“Huh, yeah, actually, I did. So… these guys-”

“The REALLY have no reason to like you.”

“Hey, guard, don’t you want to tap this?”

“Fury, stop wiggling your butt in a small, open, flying carriage.”

“I’d tap you only with a hammer, changeling.”

“Buuuuurn.”

“Creeeest, he’s sassier than you. I don’t like this place anymore. I want to go back to effortlessly teasing you all the time.”

“I did put up a fight sometimes.”

“No, you didn’t. Don’t flatter yourself.”

“Sargeant, do you still have the muzzle around?”

“Ready at hoof. Should I put it on or are you going to do it yourself?”

“He’s been doing it himself for the past decade!”

“Ouch!”

“I may be outnumbered, but never out-snarked!”

“You’re taking being in Canterlot rather well, since, you know, you’re an enemy again.”

“I’ve got a plan, Crest.”

“Do I really want to know?”

“Should you be talking in front of Royal Guards?”

“My plan accounts for that as well.”

“Well, Fury. We’re descending into the courtyard, and from what I can see there are a bunch of Royal Guards standing around, as well as… oh no...”

“That sounded even worse than usual. What’s going on?”

“Star Trail.”

“Ohohoho...”

“No, Fury… if you dare make fun of Puff’s-”

“Funny how little you know me, Crest. When we land, let me talk before you say something you’ll regret for the rest of your life.”

“How about your life? Are you ignoring the fact that these ponies still think about you the way I did when I found you?”

“I have an excellent advantage.”

“Holy light I need to hear that one...”

“Mine will be much shorter.”

*Thud.*

“We’ve landed. Be careful about- HOLY?! FURY!”

*Hoofsteps rushing closer.*

“Did she just vault over the railing? I thought she was in bad shape.”

“Sh- she is, I swear.”

“Then she can’t see the Royal Guards ready to stab her?”

“She can hear them, let’s move before she or they do something really dumb.”

“STAR TRAIL, ARE YOU THERE! STAR TRAIL! HEY, YOU OLD FANATIC, GET OVER HERE!”

*Approaching hoofsteps crunching on grass.*

“Stop screaming, bug, what do you want?”

“I am here to inform you about, and take full responsibility for, the death of your apprentice Puff.”

“...because Crest doesn’t deserve the hate...”

The End

“Fur-”

*Bzzt!*

*CRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAACKAAAAAAABOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOM!*

“Uuugh… my ears...”

“She’s alive! Who cast the shield spell?”

“I WILL RIP YOU TO PIECES, COCKROACH!”

“Still not deaf enough to miss that one.”

“SILENCE!”

“Now here’s a voice I remember. Well, death, here I come. Last week’s been a fun detour, though.”

“Your Highness! How can you be protecting her? She admitted to murder.”

“Princess Celestia, it wasn’t Fury’s f-”

“Shut up, Crest.”

“Dear Star Trail, this is exactly why I couldn’t let you fry her with lightning. First, she admitted it, which is already an unusual thing. Second, here we have a pony rushing to defend her. A pony not under direct control, I must add. There is more to this than meets the eye.”

“B-b-b-but Puff...”

“I am very well aware about your squire and especially of the reasons why you wanted him to serve you rather than put him through classic training.”

“To make things clear, Crest iiiis a bit under my-”

“Be quiet, Fury! For the love of Celestia, if you value my friendship at least a little you’ll stop trying to ki- to do whatever you’re trying to do and shut up for once.”

“I’m not comfortable being used as a figure of speech.”

“I apologize, your Highness.”

“Apology accepted. Now, enlighten me about Star Trail’s squire’s demise.”

“I did-”

“You first, miss changeling.”

“There isn’t too much to say, really. I used Puff’s soft heart after he came to feed me when nopony else did of his own free will, and I pumped him full of my venom to gain complete control over him. When the changelings revealed themselves, he acted as my guide, shield, and hooves as we rescued the police squad and escaped. That’s the long and short of it. If he wasn’t completely under my control he might not have agreed to help me without any proof other than my witness based on changeling ability to sense others.”

“You...”

“Calm down, Star Trail. What Fury is refusing to say is that it was me who killed Puff.”

“Damn it, Crest! I’m trying to make you look good here, and you screw it all up.”

“I let my guard down, and when a changeling disguised as a pegasus hit on me in a bar, I… being very unlucky in my personal life, let her get close to me, put me under her control, and eventually killed Puff when Fury and he tried to break the changeling’s control over me.”

“Crest, how about you practice what you preach for once? Now, if you value anything from the last week, you’ll stay silent from now on. You, big whitey!”

*Gasps.*

“Please, at least call princess Celestia by her name… pleeeease.”

“You will address the princess correctly, bug!”

“Correctly? Alright. You, year’s worth of lunch for a whole changeling hive-”

“To the torture chambers with her!”

“Am I really that fat? I’ve been trying to do what I can in my spare time. Also, Star Trail, Canterlot castle doesn’t have a torture chamber.”

“Aaaand now I feel bad. You’ve pulled a Puff, alicorn. Well done.”

“Anger rarely solves issues, miss FURY.”

“Half-hearted Fury, if you will, pon- ali- sunbut- princess.”

“Now, while I enjoy teasing my guards myself, I would like to know everything this time. Your situation is not as… dire as you might think.”

“What do you mean?”

“...you are by far not the first changeling to be in this situation, although I rarely get involved personally...”

“Really?”

“...yes, so calm down. Observers are already near Riverside. I dispatched them as soon as the message got to me, and there are Royal Guards as well as some paladins on the way...”

*Long breath.*

“So, miss Fury. A proper recount of the situation, if you will?”

“Everything I said was true, but there’s a bit… more. I knew about the changelings in Riverside before our escape. My original plan was to get Puff under my control, use him to gain influence over other members of the police, and then present them as slaves to the regrouping changelings in order to gain favor, to prove that I was still an asset to the hive even in my shape.”

“But you are now here, and one of them is trying to defend you. What changed?”

“I realized I had too much to lose and very little to gain. You ponies are hella tasty.”

“Friendship is a powerful force.”

“Foodship, more like. Don’t get ideas above your station, princess. You ponies are my food, my delicious, delicious food that takes a lot of care and effort to prepare.”

“An interesting point of view, but I think I understand.”

“Seriously, I remember your plot from the throne room. On my own, I could live off of that for a DECADE!”

“...almost, Fury, almost there, and then you had to say it...”

“Oh shush, Crest. I can hear your mumbling even with all the growling and shifting of the pissed off guards surrounding me.”

“Your Highness, can I say something?”

“As long as it is not about my posterior, Common Crest.”

“Fury had every opportunity to sell us out, but even if it partially was to save her own hide- chitin, she didn’t. She’s a foul-mouthed nuisance, but, and I realize a different changeling made me do the worst thing I’ve ever done in my entire life, I believe she’s not evil.”

“Yeah, she had me under control three times and she never made me do anything weir- evil, I meant evil!”

“And you are?”

“Palisade, your Highness. I work under Commander Crest.”

“May I say a word, princess?”

“Bladehoof, I remember you. It’s been a while. Go on.”

“Fury and I have clearly very different view on things with our predator-prey relationship, but I believe it might be possible to work out… with each changeling individually, of course. I’m not foolish enough to believe that under different circumstances Fury would not be after my throat.”

“Not throat, as such, and I’m speaking from experience. The thing is, they can feed on lust as well, and I believe if there is something to bridge the difference then it is just that.”

“The princess really didn’t need to hear about you and Fury, Palisade.”

“On the contrary, Commander Crest. What miss Palisade said is quickly becoming a common theme in our current situation. I will send somepony to inform you later.”

“Riveside-”

“Steps have already been taken.”

*Long, exhausted sigh.*

“Then I don’t have much to add. Fury said her piece, and I said mine about Puff’s death. As for her being evil, Puff said she was a nice lady who liked pets and pets liked her. Quoting here.”

“Oh, really?”

*Flap flap flap.*

*More gasps.*

“What in seven circles of Tartarus just landed on my head? It has freaking talons! Holy crap it’s on fire. I admit it freely, princess, that’s pretty metal. How many burning chickens do you go through per day like this, though. Do you sell them to griffons afterwards?”

“Philomena?”

“Screeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!”

“All we need now is a headbanging pony and we’re all set. Unts unts unts unts-”

“Screeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!”

“Unts- unt- unts- unts-”

“Commander?”

“Screeeeeeeeeeeeee!”

“Yes, it is really happening. She’s waving her head around with a screeching phoenix desperately grasping her mane while making disco noises. She doesn’t even know what metal is, she just likes the idea. I guess that’s what I get for letting her listen to the radio all day. Yes, she’s doing it in front of a courtyard full of guards, and yes, Star Trail is about to break some necks.”

“The whipping circle of fire looks pretty neat, though.”

“HOW DARE YOU CAUSE THE DEATH OF A PONY WHO WAS A LITTLE BIT BEHIND AND THEN DO THIS CHARADE?!”

“But he wasn’t...”

“WHAT?”

“Puff was absolutely fine, you senile fanatic. The only thing wrong with him was that he was learning from YOU! He was the sweetest damn pony I’ve met, and for once I’m not talking about taste.”

“Youuuuu-”

“Leave, Star Trail. I will talk to you later, and you can be sure that for his service in rescuing the police force of Riverside and thus possibly saving all its citizens Puff will be posthumously awarded the rank of paladin.”

“Yes, your Highness.”

*Spreading silence.*

*Multiple approaching hoofsteps.*

“Princess Luna?”

“Greetings to thee, Bladehoof. We art here to escort the changeling inside.”

“Wow, did she get hit too hard with an old dictionary?”

“Such insolence, changeling!”

“Is everything ready, sister?”

“Yes, there is no need for this gathering to continue. We will take care of the situation.”

“Then I will trust your judgement in the matter. Although I would control my temper if I were you. This changeling can be… grating.”

“I shall do my best, sister. Come with us, changeling.”

“Yeah, sure.”

“Thou art gazing in the wrong direction.”

“I am blind, but I’ll take it as a compliment to my acting ability that you didn’t notice.”

“Ah, I shall bear that in mind. Commander, you will lead her.”

“Of co-”

“As ya wish, princess.”

“I believe my sister was talking to her companions, Commander Crest. Don’t worry, they will be just in judging miss Fury’s future chances. You and your subordinates will be coming with me. I could use first-hoof witness of the events in Riverside starting with miss Fury’s arrival.”

“Of course, your Highness. Hey, Fury!”

“Yes, Crest?”

“Take care. I’ll come see you as soon as I can.”

“I’ll drop by as well, Fury. You know, in case you’re hungry.”

“That wasn’t even trying to be subtle, Palisade.”

“You’ll visit her too, right, Blade?”

“I… might check on her if I have the time. To see if she’s being treated fairly, of course.”

“There you have it, Fury. We’ll see you soon.”

“Bye, Crest.”

***

“With that taken care of, are we taking her down to the dungeons, princess?”

“Temporarily. Have a holding cell ready. One of the better ones.”

“Ya okay there, Fury?”

“You’re guiding me pretty well, I must admit. Hey, what happened to the ancient dictionary talk?”

“That is mostly just for appearances, although I still slip up sometimes.”

“Stairs down, Fury. Fifteen.”

“Alright. Say, there’s one more guy with us, and I smell changeling.”

“Yeah, your nose is somewhat right.”

“Not a real changeling, though.”

“Your queen’s magic transformed me to some degree, but I still consider myself mostly a pony.”

“He’s all shiny now!”

“To be honest, if I got forcibly turned into a half-pony I wouldn’t be so calm about it.”

“It has its perks.”

“Ya like feeding off of me. Admit it.”

“I see, so you’re banging.”

“Not that kind of feeding.”

“Don’t tell me ya wouldn’t want to tap this.”

“...”

“Great, another ‘pony’ whom I can hear blush. Not too experienced in the whole mare department, is he?”

“Ya got that right.”

“EHM, anyway. We are responsible for the orders regarding your observation.”

“Wait, those weren’t fake?”

“Unofficial, but definitely not fake. Princess Celestia needs to keep us looking sharp and ready after the invasion to prevent panic, but we don’t want to just purge Equestria of changelings. Princess Luna here is leading the operation regarding integration of changelings into our society, and protecting those who have been living in it peacefully before the invasion.”

“Yer just saving yer sweet, sweet ass.”

“Partially-”

*Click*

“-Sit her down. Now, the princess will ask you some questions. I will be listening, and I might ask something on occasion.”

“And don’t lie, he’ll know.”

“She is not jesting, miss Fury. I and my friend here WILL know.”

“Just be yourself, and it’ll be alright.”

“You know, for some reason I believe you. I’m blind and frail, and yet you make me feel like I have… hope.”

“He does that to ponies.”

“Oh shush. Princess Luna?”

“Right. So, miss Fury. The floor is yours.”

“Cool, can I get the roof too?”

Author's Note

If you're wondering who were the ponies interrogating Fury.

So yeah, thanks for reading my little experiment and, as always, feedback, criticism, or suggestions are welcome.