Unpolished Gems: A Concept Collection

Eighty-one days til my birthday. Eighty-one slow, torturous days trapped in my bed. Over the past seventeen hundred and fifty odd days, it's developed a me sized crater. Not surprising, since I've spent most of my short life stuck in it. I tell people, "Oh don't worry about little ol' me. I plan on having fun and enjoying my life, even if it'll only last for another ten to fifteen years."

And yet, I can barely remember having any fun the past two years. I've just been going through the motions. Wake up exhausted, do the daily quests in my games, maybe get a meal from the soup kitchen if I have energy, lay in bed until I pass out from exhaustion, wake up every thirty mins from nightmares and pain, repeat. Eighty-one more times.

I knew I was going to die young. I accepted that when I took over this broken body. But it hasn't even been five years. I was sure I'd at least make it to my sweet sixteen. Not that I've ever seen that celebrated outside of campy Disney productions.

I've been wanting to make my bucket list, and my will, but I'm scared. What if I finish the bucket list quickly. Will that give me inspiration to keep setting more and more goals, or will that be my final triumph, convincing me to pass on.

As for my will, do I leave everything to my best friend, or to myself, and return in my actual body. But do I want to come back? To return to this world filled with pain, suffering, and hate. Host's been doing a great job messing things up without his body. And will he be able to reclaim his body once I leave it? Is the world ready, or even able to have my body in it? Am I ready to come back and work on fixing this planet?

I don't know. I don't even know wether or not I want to reach my fifth birthday.

All I want.

All I want, is to sleep. To sleep and wake up rested. To be able to start the day with a smile on my face and not a single twinge of pain.

All I want, is a moment of happiness. Something to light the Void, even just a little.