Sunset Shimmer entered her living room with a massive bowl of popcorn. All of her friends were crowded together in the limited space she had to offer.
Rarity and Applejack were grouped together under a blanket on her loveseat, discussing something with Fluttershy who laid on the floor at their feet. Meanwhile Twilight lounged on the couch with Pinkie, giggling at whatever their conversation was about. The only person separated from the others was Rainbow Dash. She was crouched beside Sunset’s limited DVD collection, browsing through it.
“So, what are we watching tonight?” Sunset asked.
She plopped down on the couch next to Pinkie, offering her the bowl of popcorn.
Pinkie took it in a flash and shovelled a handful into her mouth before passing it over onto Twilight. She was considerably more conservative with her consumption.
“Well I’m stuck between Red Dawn and Rocky 4,” Rainbow Dash said.
Rarity groaned. “Why those two movies?”
“Because I have a history paper due Monday and I need to know how the Cold War ended,” Rainbow Dash said.
Twilight swallowed hard, nearly choking on a kernel. “Wait what? Rainbow Dash, you can’t use one of those movies as a primary source. They aren’t even grounded in reality.”
Rainbow Dash decided to ignore her. “Sunset, why don’t you have Netflix?”
Sunset snorted. “It’s kind of hard to sign up for Netflix without a credit card.”
“And why don’t you just get a credit card?”
“Because I’m an illegal immigrant with next to no income? Its kind of hard to get a credit card when you’re missing basic things like a social insurance number or a birth certificate.”
Rainbow Dash shook her head and held up both titles for her friends. “Alright let’s have a vote then. All in favour of Rocky raise your hand.”
Applejack lifted her arm and Rarity begrudgingly joined her.
Rainbow Dash nodded. “Alright and those in favour of Red Dawn?”
The other four girls cast their vote with a varying degree of reluctance. Rainbow Dash shrugged and simply cast Rocky aside.
“Hey!” Sunset yelped as the case landed upon the hardwood floor, skidding across it.
“I’m surprised Sunset,” Applejack said.
Sunset looked up. “Huh?”
“I thought you would have picked Rocky for sure. It’s a boxing movie after all.”
“I mean what does that have to do with anything?”
“I just, you know, thought you were a big fan of boxing is all.”
“Not especially. I’m not honestly into fighting movies.”
“So where did you learn to fight then?” Pinkie Pie blurted out.
“Learn to fight? I have no idea how to fight.”
Everyone instantly went silent as their attention was drawn to Sunset.
“Wait you don’t know how to fight?” Rainbow Dash asked.
Sunset shook her head. “I mean I get the gist of it but I’ve never actually been in a fight.”
“But you wear a leather jacket,” Applejack said.
Sunset shrugged. “So, what does that have to do with anything?”
“It’s just you usually expect someone who wears a leather jacket to know how to fight is all,” Applejack said.
“I don’t know what to tell you girls. I’ve literally been in zero fights that didn’t involve magic.”
“Ok but why do you wear a leather jacket then?” Rainbow Dash asked.
“Because I like the way it looks and it's cool? This thing goes well with everything I own.”
Rarity nodded. “I have to agree with Sunset on this. That jacket does suit her.”
“Wait, so you all thought I knew how to fight because I wear a leather jacket?”
The girls all looked to one and other before nodding in agreement.
Sunset couldn’t help but laugh. “Come on, it’s just a leather jacket. There doesn’t need to be some hidden story behind what I wear. It’s like trying to find some special meaning in why Dash always wears plaid. There just isn’t one.”
Rainbow Dash looked away and coughed into the sleeve of Spitfire’s plaid shirt.
“I mean it’s not just the leather jacket. You also have this really confident personality,” Twilight added.
“So?” Sunset began. “A lot of people can be confident and not resort to physical violence. I mean look at Rarity and Applejack. Rarity is confident and doesn’t resort to fighting and with the exception of arm-wrestling neither does Applejack.”
Rarity and Applejack exchanged a look.
“She has a point,” Applejack admitted.
Fluttershy looked away for a moment. “Ok but you also used to be really mean and aggressive.”
Sunset winced at this. “Yeah I guess. I guess I was.”
“You even used to push people around,” her voice grew softer with each word, “like me.”
Sunset’s pained expression deepened. “Ok look, I was a complete and utter bitch back then. I knew how to manipulate people and make them fear me. However, if, say, Rainbow Dash actually decided to do something about it and punched me in the nose? I would have collapsed like a house of cards.”
Rainbow Dash grinned at this.
Sunset continued, “I mean think about it for a second. Where did I come from before Canterlot High?”
“Equestria,” Pinkie Pie interjected.
“Ok but more specifically.”
“Weren’t you a personal student of Principal, er, Princess Celestia?” Applejack asked.
“Exactly, and who else was a personal student of Celestia?”
The girls all looked at each other before their gaze settled upon Twilight. She laughed nervously at the sudden shift in attention and adjusted her glasses.
Sunset nodded. “Exactly, now ask yourself. Does Twilight, like either Twilight, look like the type of person who knows how to fight?”
“Well,” Rarity began.
Sunset held up a hand. “I am talking about a fistfight not a magic fight. Believe me, I know just how dangerous that girl is with magic.”
“Heck, Twilight wouldn’t last for ten seconds in a real fight,” Applejack drawled, “no offense Twilight.”
“None taken,” Twilight said.
“Phhh, I’d give her five.” Rainbow Dash snickered.
“Ok a little offense taken.” Twilight sighed
“See what I mean? I’m pretty much as big of a bookworm as her. We even had the same background until I went off the deep end. I was a coddled unicorn filly until I was six. I then went to a private school where I toiled away doing ten hour days of studying, attending lectures, reading books, casting spells, and being an all around brownnose to Celestia. Hell, I didn’t even step foot in a gym until I got here.”
“So, what you’re saying is,” Rarity started.
“You all apparently thought I was some badass when really I’m just a girl who thought a leather jacket looked cool. Do you really want to know what inspired me to wear this?”
“What?” Twilight asked.
Sunset pointed a finger towards her DVDs. “Second shelf all the way to the left.”
Rainbow Dash turned around and glided her finger across the second row until it settled upon the title in question. In bold letters were the words, ‘Mad Max’.
“Wait so you stole the idea from a movie? You’re such a dork,” Rainbow Dash teased.
“Damn straight.” Sunset grinned. “Now hurry up and put on a movie. I’m getting bored.”
Rainbow Dash snorted but complied, sliding Red Dawn into the DVD tray.
As the movie started the conversation simmered down until all seven girls were engrossed in the best that the 1980’s had to offer. At least until Rarity got a bit too vocal about where exactly Applejack’s hand was. It just got kind of awkward after that.
Author's Note
This was written as a kind of parody for all those fics that show Sunset Shimmer as some sort of expert at fighting.
