"Well aftah my furst rocky night in Equestria, I spent the night sleeping next to Steven Magnet. UGH! Not that way! Gawd! I don't swing that way bro. But sleepin' next to a friend's river was a nice change, well the friend part was new anyway, I-"

•••

"Uh, what are you doing?"

JD quickly closed his journal with Steven's head over his shoulder peering down at his journal with a raised brow. JD seemed a bit embarrassed.

"Gawd! Bro! You need ta wear a freakin' bell 'r somethin'!" JD exclaimed.

"Oops!" Steven piped up, "Pardon, I couldn't help notice you writing in that diary of yours."

JD brow shifted erratically at the mention of the word "diary", he quickly felt a wave of annoyance wash over him, "Hey dis ain't a diary pal, I'm no sissy Mary, dis is a journal! and a manly one too!"

"Then why does it have glitter on the front?" Steven pointed, and true to his word, there was a noticeable amount of glitter.

"I don't know, bro!" JD angrily replied, "I didn't buy it at a freakin' shop, I jus' found it next ta me when I landed in dis deathtrap of a forest!"

"Well it is very pretty." Steven commented.

JD felt his annoyance slowly transition into anger, "You mean: MANLY! Bro!"

"Oh well, whatever makes you feel better." Steven waved his hands flamboyantly.

"Thank you." JD nodded, in slight appreciation.

"So what are you writing?" Steven asked curiously.

"Just my thoughts, I think it's supposed ta be healthy 'r somthin' ta write what yer thinkin'," JD told, "Let me tell ya though, if tha old me had somethin' like dis I would definitely be eatin' da pages. Like literally chew and swallow! I wasn't exactly the scholah type before arrivin' 'ere."

"That's not too hard for me to believe."

"Anyways," JD continued, "If ya don't mind, a little privacy please?"

"Okay," Steven said cheerfully and slithered back into the river, "Have fun with your "manly" diary."

JD's eyes perked open, his ear made an involuntary twitch, "Damnit you mean journal!"

JD turned his head around and pouted as he opened his ~~diary~~, journal.

'Anyway the dude can be nosy as hell. But whatevah, so next thing I should probably do is get breakfast, by this time I'm either goin' through tha garbage and eatin' left over pizza, burgers, 'r huntin' deers, raccoons, 'r squirrels. That last squirrel I ate before was a fightah fer sure, didn't go down either, hehe. But that's a story fer anotha time. Gotta find some breakfast. '

•••

'So Steven offered me some fish fer breakfast. No thanks bro, nevah liked sea food, I may eat anotha squirrel who tries choking me ta death all over again, but I cannot fer tha life of me digest that crap. I'm more in'ta tha average land mammal, on occasion I eat tha local humie food. Now that I'm smatah, I realized, no wondah I'm so outta shape, too much pizzah, hot dawg, burgers, and I use to eat that shit outta dumpstahs, eww, I was so gross before, if ignorance was bliss then I sure had it made bro. I need somthin' fer my cardio, like protein and all that healthy crap. Wait a minute! Trees around here look different, and my sniffah's pickin' up....apples?

It was a peaceful day at the Sweet Apple Acres farm. Beautiful sunshine, with the only sound of birds cawing in the distance. The orange earth mare gazed around at her immense apple orchard. Rarity had invited her and the other girls to the spa, so she decided to get up extra early to get a head start on her chores, without making her friends wait too long for her arrival. For now, she could enjoy the calm sunrise in the far east while bucking in apples, she grabbed her basket and proceeded. An hour had passed and she was basically doing her standard routine, but still she found it peaceful during the morning hours. She wiped off some beads of sweat off her forehead and smiled, until she heard her dog, Winona scamper toawards her, barking alarmingly.

"Winona? What's wrong girl?" She asked, she knew when ever she barked this erratically, it either meant trespassers or somepony was in danger, "Come on girl where's the trouble?"

Winona let out a single yip, ran back towards the trouble. Applejack galloped behind her, as she followed her dog, she then began noticing a very large quantity of eaten apple cores littered on the ground, clearly indicated somepony was having free breakfast in her orchard, and they were gonna be sorry, whoever they were.

"When I find the fiends eatin' mah apples, they better have a good excuse fer trespassin' and eatin' from mah property." Applejack glowered, "Oh what am I sayin'! since when in the history of Apples and Equestria has there ever been a good excuse fer that. They'll be sorry though!"

After a minute or three, the duo was getting closer as more apple cores appeared on the ground, the more Applejack felt her anger and tension rise. Winona paused infront of a large bush, she sniffed the air, turned around to her master and let out a small yip.

"Is the trespasser over there girl?" AJ asked, whispering as to be more stealthily. WInona replied with a small nod, "Alright then."

Applejack removed her hat and pulled out her trusty lasso, ready to hogtie the intruder if necessary. She bended down and pounced through the bushes.

"Alright ya no good thieves, ya better put yer hooves in the air if ya know what's good fer-" Applejack paused, she looked perturbed at exactly what she was looking at.

"Gawd I'm full. Anyways, aftah wanderin' those woods I found myself near some sorta farm, there must'a been like a thousand apple trees 'r somethin'. I've eaten, like what, 79 'r 78, I don't know bro, I lost count after 60. Aftah rememberin' Steven's words about ponies, my next plan is ta do some normal scoutin' like I do when I was in Jersey, ya know, scope around and spy on tha local community, I don't know what I'm gonna do, but if these are tiny horse who speak English, then I like my chance now. I speak english, I'm part horse, I think, I got a muzzle like one, then again it might be a deer muzzle. You grow up alone and mostly confused when ya got no one ta ask what the hell you are."

JD put his book and pen down before picking up an apple from a nearby heap and taking a big bite out of it. JD himself was leaning against an apple tree surrounded by heaps of apples and already eaten apple cores. He had a noticeable bulge in his belly from overconsumption of apples. JD crossed his arms behind his head and really began to relax, stirring in his own gluttony. He was satisfied and filled with content, until he heard a rustling in nearby a bush, quicker than his mind or senses could process this, something leaped out, surprising the Leeds Devil.

"Alright ya no good thieves, ya better put yer hooves in the air if ya know what's good-" it paused.

JD sat there motionless, as an orange pony which he assumed was female due to her noticeably long eyelashes, gawking at him with a mixed look of surprise and confusion. He wasn't too surprised since Steven briefed him already on the strange inhabitants of this word, and she was indeed strange. Especially while wearing a Stetson and the ass tattoos of three apples on each side. There was a moment of silence and just before a shrill scream could penetrate the silence across the whole orchard, JD grabbed an apple, took a bite out of it and offered the remains to her.

"Want some?" He asked politely, as Appejack's jaw dropped, "It's good fer yer cardio bro."

Author's Note

First impressions are always important just ask AJ and JD. anyways I hope you guys enjoyed this chapter I would've done it sooner but the computer was having Internet troubles so hope you enjoy and will see you next time :P