My Best Friend Is Cute and Adorafuzzy and I Love Her and I Want to Die
Great and Powerful Conductor
“Mrmmmf-mrmmmffff!!!” Her blue forelimbs flailed through the loose sleeves of a star-spangled hoodie. She pointed and gestured and charaded at the night's sky before finally... finally plucking the lollipop from her mouth with blue telekinesis. “It's starting! It's starting!” A toss of her silver mane hair and the scent of blueberry shampoo wafts my way in the evening breeze. “The northern hemisphere, Starlight! The northern hemisphere!” She sticks her muzzle heavenward with a proud expression. “What did Trixie tell you? Hmmmmm?”
I chuckle, relaxing against the plush blanket spread over the hilltop. All around us are tiny pockets of ponies gathered for the midnight lightshow, but our picnic is decidedly the prettiest. “You were right, Trixx. But the astronomical guidebook also said—”
“Guidebook shnydebook!” Trixie raspberries before licking the lollipop again. “Stars are woven into Trixie's blood! You think Luna's magic is responsible for this?! Blaspheme! BEHOLD!”
She stands up on her hind quarters, hoodie flailing, and she dog-paddles at the sky with forelimbs zig-zagging in “precise” geometric patterns.
“Fall away, stars!” she echoes in a booming voice before plopping the lollipop back into her mouth. “Mrmmmf-mrmmmffr-mfrmmmf-mrmmmffff!” Her tail swishes left and right in my face. I crane my neck, but all I see is her forming majestic hoof puppets against the increasingly twinkling skyscape. “Mrmmmf-mrmmmfr-mrmmmfffrmffm!” She plucks the sucker out again and hollers. “Dance, galaxy! Dance!” She rolls her r's like she rolls the stars. “The Grrreat and Powerrrrful Trrrixie commandeth thee into a constellatory ballet!!!”
“Trixie!” I laugh. “Trixxxxxxie!” I laugh harder. “Get d-down!”
“Trixie can't! She hath begun comet conducting!!! Shimmy, though stars! Shimmy for Glimmmmmmerrr!”
“Guhhhh...” I face-hoof, if only to hide my smile. “Trixie...” I spot a flicker of eyes in the corner of my vision. Ponies are glancing over at us, at her, shaking their heads disdainfully. “What's the matter?!?” The hidden supervillain inside me barks at them, wearing a humored sneer as a cloak. “Haven't you seen Equestria's greatest magician conduct the sky before?!”
“Abrracadabrrraaaaaaaaa!” Trixie yodels, and the sky lights up from a decidedly brilliant swath of meteorites. Even she's floored by her “accomplishment,” and she plops down on the blanket beside me, muzzle agape as a dumbstruck little filly. “Starlight—!!!” she exhales and butt-wiggles until she's sitting barrel-to-barrel with my laughing self. “Mrmmmfrmmf!” one lasting suckle of the lollipop and she aims the diminished candied nub towards the flickering heavens. “Didja see that?! I brought down a spectacular salvo!”
“Th-that you did, Trix...” I nuzzle her—maybe a bit too long for my own good. Heaven isn't heaven if it isn't laced with blueberries and spice, like this moment, like her smile. “A minute longer and you would have reduced this hilltop to rubble!”
“Who says Trixie won't?” She bites into the cherry center of the sucker, gulps, and hollers to the shooting stars. “Who wants to come down and crush Trixie and Glim-Glam?!?! WHY NOT?! Friendship is magic! The whole congregation will ride the terrestrial ejecta and stardust to the Harmonic Plains!!!”
I can scarcely hear her through my own laughter, but I manage to breathily interject: “Okay okay okay—I call the line at cult jokes.”
“Sosorrystarlight,” her apology is as brief as it is honest, and she's back to bellowing: “Myyyyyyyy little meteorrrrrrrrrrr~~!!!”
“Snrkkkt! Oh Goddess...”
“I always wondered what ground zero could beeeee!”
“Trixxxx! Stop itttttttt!”
A crescent moon of teeth reflected the shooting stars. “Would you care to share this crater with meeeeeeee???
“Haaaaah hah ha ha ha—!” I'm crying at this point, beating a hoof into the blanket.
“Encore! Encore!” somepony heckles from a few picnics away. From the jovial tone, I suspect it's Pinkie Pie. “Take us to the bridge!”
“Nuh uhhhhhhh!” Trixie flops backwards over me. I see her upside down tongue sticking across the hilltops of Equestria. The fluff of her chest forms a forested silhouette against the flickering sky. “You have to pay ussss!”
“Yeah!” I wheeze, eyes rolling. “In alicorn wings!”
“It's all the rage, y'know!” Trixie plops the empty lollipop stick into her mouth and continues conducting—upside down—while lying on top of me. “Mrmmmff...” She speaks out the side of her muzzle. “...personally, Trixie wouldn't want wings. They'd ruin future opportunities to wear her cape. That would just not do. Especially on stage.” The exhaustion of the charade catches up to her, and she simply... goes limp, slumping further. The lollipop falls out of her muzzle and she finds herself staring at me—nose to cheek—with a fluttering of her pretty, pretty eyelashes. “Oh. Hello, gorgeous. Come here often?”
I stare at her. This stupid, stupid jerk. Who embarrasses me daily. Who keeps me up nightly. Who I can scarcely stand next to in the same hallway at the School of Friendship. Whom I'm always facehoofing with when we sit side by side at royal gatherings. A mare whom I've cursed and threatened and cried for in the lonesome dark of night.
I don't realize I've said it until I see her upside-down muzzle scrunching.
“What did you say?”
I can barely hear her myself. The ponies all around us are cheering at something. Perhaps the moment has passed. Or perhaps...
“I said...” A slight shudder, but she weighs me down. She always does. With that silver soft hair and the scent of blueberries. I sigh once more in defeat. “I said 'I envy you.'”
“Hmmmf...” She looks both satisfied and disappointed all at once. Either case, none the wiser. “Trixie knows you do.” She flops over onto her belly and stretches like a cat. “Nyeeeeugh... the meteors sure do take a long shower.”
“Well... you were such a darn good conductor.”
“Meh...” Trixie scoot-scoot-scoots over until she's seated side by side with me. I feel our tails flicking together, criss-crossing under the living sky. “Everyone wants to upstage Trixie.” She shook a hoof at the streaking cosmos. “You hear that, Sky?! Trixie's got her eye on you!”
“Heeheehee... y-yeah!” I join in, sticking my tongue out at the heavens. “She's got your number, universe!”
“You think you've got entropy stuck in your craw? Just you wait!” She yawns. She leans against me. “Mmmmm... got anymore lollipops.”
“You've sucked them all, Trix.”
“Hrmmf. It was a trick question.” She lays her head over my left fetlock. “Talk astronomy stuff to me, Starlight.”
“Oh? Finally wanting to learn?”
“No.” Another yawn. “Trixie wants something to put her to sleep.”
I laugh. “Don't we all.” I raise a hoof. I hesitate... then run it over her mane. Such delicious softness—that it's a miracle it ever goes still. Or settles.
For the moment, she is that miracle, and I know as well as she does that there's no sleeping anytime soon.
“So...” I glance up at the comet-sliced constellations. “...where to begin?”
