Pinkie and Discord's Random Adventures
Whenever a new day arrives in the town of Ponyville, the ponies living there treat it in several ways. For the fillies and colts, it means another boring day at school waits for them. The adults know it means they have to get back to work. For a purple alicorn, it’s an opportunity to read even more books than yesterday. A farmer sees it as the right time to get to apple bucking.
For one draconequus that’s come to call the town home, it means there’s another new day to use his chaotic breed of magic.
Discord drifted lazily through the town’s streets, stretching out his limbs and seeing what he could do to cure his boredom. It was sometime after the incident with Tirek, and he was eager to put that incident in the rearview window. He looked to find who he could mess with that day. With Ponyville, the possibilities were endless.
Ah, there was one pony here now. He spotted a cross eyed mail mare he came to know as Derpy. She delivered mail to the ponies in that particular street from her satchel, and he knew she was perfect for what he had in mind. Without her looking, he snapped his fingers and aimed his magic straight for her.
Derpy stopped in her tracks when she felt something funny hit her face. It was like she was dizzy out of nowhere, and she closed her eyes to make it go away. When she opened them, she was stunned--her eyes were straight.
“Oh no, this is horrible!” she thought. “I can only see one thing at a time. What am I going to do now? This is the worst thing ever!”
Discord chuckled as he floated away. “Only Derpy would think seeing straight is a bad thing. Oh, how I love this town. Nothing beats messing with Celestia, but you come as a close second sometimes.”
He brought himself on top of Town Hall and observed the ponies in the adjacent marketplace. It was just before noon, so there was a rush of ponies eager to get their purchases done before lunchtime. The perfect opportunity to mess around, as he dubbed it.
Applejack was among the shoppers with her dog, Winona. She was the perfect candidate to harass, since she took things so seriously. A flick of Discord’s wrist here, a click of his feet there, and she would have the perfect scare.
“Thanks, partner. I needed all that plywood for a new barn building,” Applejack thanked the merchant, bringing the plywood into her cart. “Let’s get going, Winona.”
“Meow,” the creature named Winona said.
“What in tarnation?” gasped Applejack. She was shocked to her hooves to see her dog transformed into a cat. The cat rolled around on her back, and Applejack nearly fainted at the sight.
“Come now, cats aren’t all that bad. They kill mice for you. Mice!” Discord said to himself. “Not to fear, the spell wears off in a minute. I’m not that cruel anymore. Okay, one more victim for my morning routine. Who’s next…”
Rarity was also at the marketplace as it turned out. Naturally, she was in a white casual dress as she shopped around for fresh fabric. Child’s play to mess around with, as Discord would say. She always had the best reactions whenever he wanted to upset her. And once he was finished cracking his fingers, it was too easy to see her cry out in distress.
“NOOOOO! This was a perfect shade of white, and now it’s purple. It clashes with EVERYTHING!” Rarity cried out. She immediately ran home for her life. The idea of somepony seeing her in an outfit that “hideous” was too much to bare.
“A very close second, I must add,” admired Discord. “Out of all the towns in all the nations of the world, I picked the perfect place to live in. Why, I could harass Twilight all day and have more fun than I do with Celestia. And it’s Celestia!”
His monologue was interrupted, however, when he heard his stomach grumble. He didn’t have anything to eat, and his stomach was giving him trouble over it. Granted, his digestive system was weird, but a draconequus still had to eat.
“Wherever should I eat? Hmm...oh, I know. One of my friends could make something for me.”
He disappeared from the roof of the Town Hall and retook shape inside Sugar Cube Corner. Just as he expected, his nose picked up the scents and smells of all kinds of sugary goods. Exactly what a growing boy needs.
“Pinkie? Hello, Pinkie? You’re still around, right?” he called out.
“Hi, Discord!” Pinkie greeted him as she came out from the back, with a bowl of cake batter in her hoof. “I didn’t know you were around. But you’re around all over the place! You could be in Canterlot in a second, or you could meet a big scaly dragon. Ooooh, could you take me to the Dragon Lands? I want to meet Dragon Lord Ember! I heard she’s cool when you get to know her.”
Discord smiled. The only pony in Equestria that could match him in randomness, right in front of him.
“No, I’m not taking you to go see a dragon. They’re not good company, anyways. Always so serious and threatening you with death just because you didn’t say they were cool.”
“Awwwww. So what are you doing here? Do you want a cake or three?”
Discord’s stomach growled again. “That’s just why I’m here. Could you make all of the cakes? I could really use the meal.”
Pinkie narrowed her eyes at the big bad draconequus. “Are you sure? The last time you wanted all of the cakes, you cancelled your order and left. I had to eat all of them by myself. Do you know how delicious they were? I don’t know. I think I went into a sugar coma…”
“No, I’m actually going to eat them this time. Just make it snappy.”
“Aye aye, captain!” Pinkie put down the cake batter and got to work at once. She hopped around the kitchen and the cafe floor to get the order made, with more frosting and extra cake batter than you could shake your hoof at. Discord took a seat and watched the pink mare get to work. A brunch and a show sounded perfectly fine to him.
One thing he noted was how fast she was going. As she dashed from one part of the store to the other, he presumed that she was as fast as Rainbow Dash, if not faster. It was rather strange, too, to see her duck below the front desk and end up in the kitchen like it was nothing. It almost reminded him of himself, and if there was anything he loved more than messing with ponies, it was reinforcing how awesome he was.
Eventually, he stopped noticing all the cakes stockpiling at the front desk and only looked at the pony. She was so happy to break the laws of physics, with how her mane was working as the hoof mixing all the cake batter in the bowls. That’s when he thought more about how she reminded him of himself...and...and…
His mind started to drift off to his memories with that idea. He dwelled on all the times they shared together, and all the weird stuff she did in the past when he wasn’t around. She was one unusual pony, that was for sure. At times, it seemed like she could beat unicorns at their own game with magic. In addition, she did impossible things with her mane and tail regularly, just like he could do with his limbs and body That got him thinking even more.
Hmmm. Is it possible? No, it couldn’t be. You know she has a normal--er, kinda--pony family. Still, has anypony done that kind of stuff? Wait…
His mind was interrupted with a ding of the bell. “Discord? Hello? Your order is ready!”
Discord looked up to see a flood of cakes all over the floor and the tables. It even spilled into the street outside. “Oh. Thank you, Pinkie. Hmm, I did have a question for you,” he asked, as he shrinked all the cakes down into cupcake size and shoved them into a bag labeled “To Go”.
“What is it? I’m all ears,” Pinkie responded with her ears flapping around.
“What’s your secret? How do you do all of these things?”
“I don’t know what I’m doing half the time.”
Understatement of the year. “I mean, how do you make all these cakes so fast? How do you go from one part of the room to the next so quickly?”
“I dunno. It just happens,” she shrugged.
“Indeed. Okay, bye!” He vanished in a flash of light out of the blue. When he was gone, there was a pile of bits as going high as the ceiling on his table.
“That was pretty weird, even for me,” Pinkie commented. “Oh well, time for cupcake baking!”
Meanwhile, Discord was back to flying around in the sky. He really wanted to eat all those now-minature cakes in his bag, but he couldn’t stop thinking about the topic on his mind. It was giving him one theory about Pinkie, one he couldn’t get away from. It was something he suspected a while ago, but now that he paid more attention to her actions in the Corner, it was more obvious than before.
There was only one way to find out for sure. His own special way.
Pinkie clocked out for the day, and she decided to spend the rest of the day frollicking around Ponyville. It was a long day even before Discord’s massive order, but the massive amount of tips he left made it all worth it. Maybe she could buy a new chew toy for Gummy. The alligator wasure sure to love it, but she did notice that he was glancing at the books Twilight lent her recently…
Enough about that. It was time to have some fun the Pinkie Pie way.
She opened the door outside and set her sights on the park, only to stop when she heard a crunching sound on her hoof. It was made by an envelope with a big stamp on the back.
“Huh, that’s strange. Did I get an invitation or something?”
The pink mare opened the envelope and glanced at the contents inside. The note was in fancy text, like Celestia did with her letters. It read, “You’re Invited to an amazing--er--thingy, Pinkie Pie! Come to the valley west of town, and there will be the biggest cake you’ve ever seen! There’s frosting, too. Come immediately, I’ll be waiting! Signed, Anonymous.”
Pinkie’s eyes lit up like the Fourth of July. “The biggest cake I’ve ever seen? I can’t wait! I wonder if it’s really the biggest cake ever, because I’ve seen big cakes--I gotta go!”
She sprinted as fast as she could to the valley. What was the flavor? Vanilla? Strawberry? Red velvet? The possibilities were endless, and she could taste the frosting already.
However, when she arrived at the large, green valley, she was shocked to see nothing there to greet her, not one thing. No frosting, no cake, no punch to wash the cake down with. It was empty of cake.
“Where’s the cake?” she screamed. “You told me that you had the biggest cake ever, and I don’t even see a cupcake! Why would you do that to me?” She was beginning to cry, if someone could believe it.
And then it happened.
A huge pillar of smoke made itself known in the middle of the valley. The rest of the place got darker as the smoke got brighter. Pinkie had to shield her eyes as the smoke came closer, and then it turned into a spotlight from the sky. She turned back to see the weirdest, most bizarre thing she had seen in a long time.
Discord emerged from the smoke, wearing a cheesy, shiny black suit and tie with a microphone in his hand. He had a grin just as chintzy as his suit, but that wouldn’t be the worst of it.
“Welcome, ladies, gentlemen, and foals up past their bedtime, it’s The Best, Craziest, and Greatest Game Show of All Time! I’m your handsome host, Discord, and today we have the zaniest contestant we’ve ever seen competing for prizes and...er, that other stuff you don’t care about. Sponsored by Q Enterprises! I don’t know what the Q means, either.”
Pinkie’s jaw was on the floor. “Discord, what are you doing?”
“Why, you’re on my game show, of course! Don’t you want to compete for the best prize of all?” He turned to a giant curtain to his left and it unveiled to show the biggest cake Pinkie had ever known: A 50-layer cake of all sorts of flavors and frosting, as big as a Manehattan skyscraper.
Suddenly, Pinkie was the hungry one there. “Oh my gosh oh my gosh OH MY GOSH! That’s the best cake I’ve ever seen!” She ran towards the cake as fast as she could, since there was no way she wasn’t going to have that.
Discord grabbed her tail to halt her right then and there. “Tsk tsk, Pinkie. You haven’t won the cake just yet. You have to win the game first. Don’t worry, if you finish my little game, you can have all the cake you want.”
Pinkie’s ears flopped to the ground. “You mean, I might NOT get to have the cake?”
“I didn’t say that. I’ve designed an obstacle course just for you, one that will test everything that you’ve got. If you finish every obstacle I throw at you, the grand prize is that cake skyscraper you just saw.” The curtains went around the cake to hide it again. “Or a cakescraper, as I call it. Puns are hard.”
This astounded Pinkie. “What kind of obstacle course do you have in mind? Could I even do it? I need to do it because the prize is that awesome, delicious cake! What do I have to do?”
“I’m glad you asked.” Discord pulled a card out of his suit pocket and read it out loud. “Oooh, you have a toughie to start. The Canyon of Doooom!”
A cracked formed in the middle of the valley between Pinkie and Discord. She ran away from the crack as it expanded without warning. It split the valley right in two, and a gigantic valley formed below it. There was no telling how far down it went, but Pinkie felt a sense of vertigo just looking at it. She clutched at the ground as the canyon kept expanding, reaching a point almost as big as the Grand Canyon.
Discord hovered around the middle of the canyon and brought his mic out. “Okay, Pinkie, this is your first test. You have to get from one side of the canyon to the other. It’s simple, really, crossing hundreds of feet without dying. I do it all the time!”
Deep down, he wanted to see if she could do it. It might kill her, but this was the best way to test his theory. After all, was there any other way to do this than forcing one of his friends to risk life and limb?
Pinkie peered down below at the canyon floor. She could barely make out the river at the bottom of it, that’s how far down it was. How was she going to get out of this one? The pink pony glanced around to see how she could cross, and then she spotted her salvation: A bush on the other side.
“Oooh, I know how to do this!” She found a bush on her side of the place and jumped into it. A second later, she reappeared on the bush on the other side. “Easy peasy!”
Now it was Discord’s jaw on the ground. “What, how? How did you do it!”
“I dunno. It just happens,” Pinkie shrugged again.
The draconequus was in awe. Maybe my crackpot idea wasn’t wrong, after all. He snapped his fingers and returned the valley back to normal, as if the canyon never existed. “Well done! You’ve completed the first test. There’s a few more, but you’re off to the right start.”
Pinkie clapped her hooves together. “I can’t wait to have that cake! Which flavor should I have first? Cherry? Banana?”
“Just you wait. Let’s see if you can get through the next part of my test. I hope you didn’t eat anything today, because you’ll need to be as light as a feather for this one.”
The earth beneath the pony’s hooves raised up into the ground. She was scared at first, until she realized Discord was making a raised platform for her. Another one formed a mile in front of her, with a finish line flag planted on it. Discord rose up with her and brought out a big bubble wand. He then took a big huff of air and blew into the wand. A bunch of bubbles came out and formed a neat little shiny line, linking the two platforms together.
“So here’s what you need to do next. Go from this platform to the next, and you have to bounce on the bubbles to do it.”
“But that’s impossible!” pouted Pinkie. “How am I supposed to do that?”
“It’s that or no cake. Your choice.”
That got Pinkie to reconsider quickly. She gulped and looked down at the bubbles. They looked so cute, but they could pop just by poking them with her front hoof. But she had to do this. That cake had to be eaten.
She took a deep breath and hopped onto the first bubble, prepared for it to pop on her. Amazingly, the bubble didn’t vanish. “Hey, I’m still in it!” She hopped to the next one soon after. Same story. It even felt good on her hooves, slimey but not disgusting. She did her trademark hop across the bubbles, no longer afraid that they would pop and she would fall to the earth below.
“This is so much fun! Have you ever bounced on a bubble before? You should try it!”
Discord watched her work and scribbled notes on a notepad in the meantime. The truth was, there was nothing special about these bubbles. They could pop like any normal one. Yet, Pinkie was bouncing on them like she really was light as a feather, something he could say about himself when he felt like being that light. His heart was starting to beat faster than normal with that revelation. He didn’t want to get sucked into his wishes just yet, but seeing her do something impossible like this made him let go of his doubts a little more.
Pinkie landed on the platform at last and dusted her hooves off. “I’m finished! Do I get my prize now?”
The draconequus clapped his hands in applause, flicked his wrist, and turned everything back to normal again. “Not yet. You’re getting warmer, but we still have so many things to do first!”
“Okay, this is kind of fun! What are we going to do next?”
Discord descended down to the floor and landed next to Pinkie. “This next one will test you in a new way. I always say ‘double the trouble’ is the best kind of fun, so why not do that yourself?”
“Hmm? What do you mean?”
“Make a copy of yourself. You know, make another Pinkie? Don’t you ever want to meet yourself?” If she does this, if she actually pulls it off, she might be--get a hold of yourself, Discord. Don’t get too carried away here.
That made Pinkie frown. “I’ve actually done that before. It wasn’t a great idea.”
“You mean, you’ve made another Pinkie? And I wasn’t there for it?” Discord asked.
“Yeah. It was before you came out of the statue the second time. I found a Mirror Pool that could make another Pinkie, so I did that. Then she made another Pinkie. They made even more Pinkies, too. It’s not as fun as it sounds, believe me. They get annoying fast.”
There was a rustling in the woods next to the valley. Discord glanced over to find another Pinkie hiding in the foliage, watching the two of them from there. Once she realized the draconequus was looking back, she hid back into the bushes, out of sight to save her life.
Discord couldn’t believe it. Could he actually be right? No, there had to be more to this than what he knew. After all, she used a Mirror Pool to duplicate herself. There had to be more ways to find out for sure.
“Very well. You’re almost at the end now, and we have only two more obstacles for today!”
“Yay! I don’t know why this is so much fun, but it is! Maybe we should do this again soon.”
That got a smile out of Discord. “I’m glad to hear that. Here, this is your next to last obstacle.”
Without him having to lift a finger, the next obstacle appeared in a flash of light. When he was done working his magic, the next obstacle was a series of tunnels of all shapes and sizes. It was made out of see-through plastic, so anyone could see the people or ponies inside. Some of the tunnels were extremely narrow, some went up a few feet into the air, and others were just as crazy as others.
“Get to one end of the tunnels to the other, and you’ll arrive at the final round!” announced Discord.
“No problem, I can do that. Here we go!” Pinkie cheered. She jumped into the entrance right away.
The interesting thing was how some of the tunnels were intentionally narrow, so much that a normal pony wouldn’t be able to fit. Discord observed Pinkie closely, curious to see if she could do what he hoped she was capable of.
She came up to the first narrow tunnel and tried to squeeze in. Her body couldn’t fit, and she pulled back in frustration. “No, I gotta do it. I want to win!” She pushed again and still fell back on her flank. Angry, she pushed harder than ever. Her body shrunk a little bit to fit inside, and she crawled through it to get to the other side. It was as if she changed the shape of her body to get in.
Discord’s eyes shimmered at the sight. The doubts in his mind were starting to fade away.
As Pinkie continued to go down the tunnels, she encountered more and more tunnels like that. Every single time, she found a way to get through. No matter how small it was, even as small as a mouse, she made it on the other side. In fact, she squished her body a few times to get out of tight spots, even breaking her body apart at the limbs and shoving each one inside the hole, then putting herself back together once she was out.
Discord had to stop himself from showcasing the glee he felt. He was even beginning to cry a little inside. Given this was Discord, he didn’t show it outside. Not yet. Just a little longer to be sure…
Finally, Pinkie emerged from the exit of the tunnel system. She jumped up and down in joy. “I’m almost done! I’m almost done! C’mon, Discord, let’s do one more round!”
The draconequus wiped away the one tear that got in his eye. “I’m as ready as you are! This last leg will definitely be an interesting one. But first, say hello to your little pet!”
With another poof of smoke, Gummy appeared in front of Pinkie, chewing a book of ancient Equestrian literature in his mouth. Pinkie came over and hugged him real tight. That forced him to spit out his new favorite book. “Hi, Gummy! It’s so good to see you. Maybe you can help me eat the cake after this? I’m sure there’s a flavor you’ll love.”
Discord clapped his hands together in anticipation. “Actually, he’s a part of your final test.”
“Huh, how? Does Gummy have to go through a course, too? Do I need to do something cool with him? Or does he have to grow his teeth out? That might still be months away.”
“No no, something much more interesting.” He pulled in closer and tapped her on the shoulder. “I want you to turn him into an adult alligator.”
Pinkie tilted her head to Discord in confusion. “Turn him into a what?”
“I want you to make him a fully grown alligator. Not that this should be hard for you, with everything else you’ve done.”
“I don’t know. Making him grow up just like that is hard. How do I do that?”
Discord froze for a second, before brushing it off and giving her another grin. “Just give it a try. I’m sure you can figure it out.”
This, admittedly, made Pinkie nervous. If she failed, she wouldn’t get any cake. How was she supposed to do this, though? Either way, she had to give it a try like Discord said.
She came up to Gummy slowly. Gummy looked up to his owner and slowly blinked his eyes. With a deep breath, Pinkie poked Gummy’s nose with her right front hoof. Nothing happened. She did it again just to be sure. Something had to happen this time. But nothing happened again.
“I’m sorry. I don’t know how to do that. Does this mean I don’t get cake?” Pinkie sighed in disappointment.
Deep down, Discord was shattered. This was the last big test, and after everything he had just seen, seeing her fail NOW was...was…
“No, you still get cake,” he weakly smiled. “You did great, and that test with Gummy was just a bonus round. Here you go. This is what you wanted, after all.” The curtain came back in front of Pinkie, and he undid the curtain to reveal the cakescraper. “Here, enjoy yourself. You might need this, too.” He teleported two spoons, one attaching itself to Pinkie’s hoof and one showing up inside Gummy’s mouth.
“YAAAAAAY! CAKE TIME!” Pinkie launched herself into the air and dove right into the cake. Her face was smothered in frosting immediately, and she couldn’t resist such a delicious cake. It was the best one she ever had, with all the flavors she could imagine. Banana, red velvet, vanilla, and a bunch of flavors she never had before. “Come on in, Gummy! The cake’s waiting!” she shouted.
The alligator slowly approached the cake at the bottom to see what it was. Once he observed its exquisitive deliciousness, as he would put it, he buried his face into the bottom layer and just sat there.
Discord, in the meantime, left the valley without a word. It was too much to bear.
An entire hour passed away, and Pinkie was more full than she ever known in her lifetime. She burped with the last piece of cake down her thoat, and her belly was bursting from the inside out. She laid down on her back and tried to process all the stuff she just ate.
“That was the best cake I’ve ever had! I’m so glad I got to enjoy it with you, Gummy!” she said in exhaustion. Gummy was already passed out a few feet away from her. However, she noticed something else. A weird, almost eerie silence.
“Hey, where’s Discord?”
Discord retreated to his home within the most bizarre dimension anypony could imagine. After the way things ended with the obstacle course, there was nothing he wanted to do but leave Equestria and recollect his thoughts for a while. Best to face his feelings all calm and collected than the other way.
The draconequus flopped down on the sofa and made sure it was full of dust bunnies, all dirty and filthy like he wanted it. He sighed and stretched out his arms behind his back. Processing all of this was a tough thing to go through, even now. It was a bad idea to get his hopes up like he did, but that was the trap he just fell into.
“Who knows, maybe I should just accept this,” he thought out loud. “It’s not like it’s something I’m not used to, and I have my friends. I have tons of friends! Fluttershy cares about me, Twilight might hate my sense of humor but she wants me to be fine, and Celestia? She’s the one that thought I could be redeemed. Why, I don’t even CARE if I’m the only--”
A knock on the door interrupted his train of thought.
“Who could that be? Did somepony get out of the bottomless pit again?” He opened the door and was surprised by the familiar pony standing at his front doorstep.
“Hi, Discord,” Pinkie said in a calm manner. “Thanks for the cake. It was really delicious.”
“I suppose,” Discord groaned. “Maybe it was good, but I don’t care. When you can have all the cake you want, something like that is nothing special. How did you even get here?”
“Some mailpony gave me directions along the way. Why did you leave, though? I thought you wanted a piece of cake and I almost saved you a slice, but I forgot that you bought all the cakes earlier.”
“Yes, I suppose that’s true,” Discord commented. “But why wouldn’t I leave? The game was over. There was nothing left to--”
“I saw you crying when I was in the tunnels.”
An uncomfortable silence filled the house “What did you say?”
“I think you were crying when I was in the tunnels.”
“That was from dust in my eyes. Haven’t you gotten a speck of dust in your eye and wanted to cry over it?’
“But you were also upset when I couldn’t turn Gummy into an adult. Why? Did you want Gummy to be huge or something?”
Discord sighed and lowered his head. “There’s no point in hiding it, is there? I need to work on my poker face. Come inside.”
Pinkie walked inside the house, and once she took in the surreal nature of her surroundings, she sat down on the sofa next to the draconequus. “Did I do something to make you sad? I’m really sorry if I did. I don’t like making my friends cry.”
“No, you did nothing wrong. Kind of. Did you ever wonder why I made you do all those silly things?”
“Not too much. I thought you wanted to play fun and games with me. Wasn’t that it?”
With a deep breath, Discord braced himself for the next part. “That’s part of it, but there was something more. You noticed how I made you do impossible things, like bouncing on bubbles, going across a canyon, making copies of yourself? Nopony can do that. But I do that all the time.”
Pinkie nodded. “That’s true. What does that have to do with me?”
“It has everything to do with you. You see...I made you do all those things to find out if you were really a draconequus.”
“WHAT?” shouted Pinkie in surprise. “Why would I be a draconequus?”
“Isn’t it obvious?” Discord replied with his hands out. “Think about all the things you do. You break the laws of physics all the time! I don’t know about you, but there isn’t anypony that does that without using unicorn magic, and you’ve never used it once. I was hoping that this was your secret, that you were a draconequus all along. It would explain a lot.”
The pink pony tilted her head. “Why did you want me to be a draconequus?”
That was when Discord’s heart started to hurt. “Well, to be honest, I have certain, specific reasons. You see, before I was turned into a statue the first time, I wasn’t the only one of my kind. They did a far better job of hiding, but there were other draconequi in Equestria once. I don’t know the exact number, but a lot of them were my friends. They were thrilling company to have around, and we constantly had duels to figure out who was the most chaotic among us. I always won, of course.
“But then I got turned into a statue. Being a statue is boring for someone like me. As you know, I’m free now, and after I was reformed, I did some searching to find out what happened to the rest of my species. However, I didn’t find a single thing. Everything about them was just rumors and gossip, nothing concrete. Nopony knows where they went or what happened to them. I’m not sure myself, but it’s possible I might be the last of my kind.”
Discord paused to let out a deeper, sadder sigh. “So when I started thinking about all the crazy and random things you do all the time, I thought it was possible you might be a draconequus. That’s what I wanted to find out with the tests, to see if you had chaotic magic and just didn’t know about it. But I know the truth now. You’re not a draconequus at all, only a really bizarre pony. So now I’m the only known draconequus in this age of Equestria...again. It’s not a great feeling, knowing you might be the last one of your kind.” He slinked down to the ground once he was finished, no longer hiding how sad this made him.
Hearing the story made Pinkie’s heart break, as it was the saddest thing she heard in some time. She stopped and took it all in for a moment. Once she did, she came up and gave the draconequus a big hug, nuzzling him and trying to make him feel better. Discord merely brushed it off and stayed still.
“You have a lot of friends, you know,” Pinkie pointed out. “Fluttershy really cares about you.”
“I know, I know,” Discord replied. “Fluttershy and I have been really good friends for a while now. Maybe more than that. But it feels like I’ve lost my first family at times. That might be impossible to assume how that feels, but I’m sure you can imagine how much it hurts.”
“Yeah. I’m sorry you have to go through that. Is there anything I can do to make you feel better?”
“I don’t know. Maybe I should learn to accept it and move on. It might be the right thing to do. You can go right on home when you want to. You’ve done a lot for me already.”
After hearing him brush her away again, Pinkie pulled back and spent a moment pondering her options. There was no way she was going to leave him in this state. There had to be SOMETHING she could do to make him less grumpy.
Discord slumped around the floor some more and waited for his guest to go home. Then he heard the most unusual noise in some time, the sound of helicopter blades. He got up and saw Pinkie hovering above the ground, using her tail like a helicopter.
“I might not be a draconequus, but I’m weird and silly like you!” Pinkie proclaimed. “Maybe we could do stuff together, like goofing off and pranking other ponies. Don’t you like to prank ponies, too?”
“Pranks? Really? I love pranks. They’re so enjoyable, aren’t they?” Discord perked up a little bit.
Pinkie couldn’t stop smiling from that. “Then why don’t we go pranking today?”
Suddenly, Discord’s mood improved. He rose up to his feet, got on a top hat, and put a fake mustache on his face. “You know, Pinkie, I think this is the start of a beautiful pranking spree.”
“Hehe, that would be awesome! And who knows, maybe you’ll see another draconequus some day. Just one thing, though.”
“What is that?”
“Just don’t prank Fluttershy. She’s really sensitive about that stuff.”
“Of course,” Discord gleamed. “I wouldn’t dare do such a thing to my family.”
The pony and the draconequus arrived back in Ponyville by the late afternoon hours. Everypony had gotten off from school and work, meaning the streets were ripe with ponies to prank. This day couldn’t have been more perfect if they tried.
As Pinkie and Discord walked through the streets together, Discord noticed Derpy stumbling through the streets, still adjusting to life with normal eyes. He felt bad for what he did to her earlier, so he clicked his fingers together. Derpy’s eyes returned to their cross-eyes selves soon after.
“Yay, I can see two places at once again!” she grinned. “I’ve never been so happy in my life!”
“And everypony thinks you’re weird,” Pinkie giggled at Discord. “Come on, let’s see what else we could do!”
“Oh, I have the perfect idea. Here’s what we’re going to do next.”
Pinkie and Discord worked together on their first collaborative prank, one they were going to remember forever. It took some time to get together, and they put it right on Twilight’s doorstep once they were finished. Pinkie knocked on the door a few times, and she hid in the same bush Discord was hiding in.
Twilight opened the door to see who was there. Nobody was, but there was a pretty big cake waiting for her. “What’s this for? I’m pretty sure it’s not my birthday. It’s not Spike’s, either.” She glanced around the cake to figure out why it was there.
She poked it just to be on the safe side, only to have a huge explosion of confetti fly into her face. The cake was entirely destroyed, and her mane and tail were covered in confetti. She was dumbstruck from the explosion and tried to get the confetti out of her hair. Then she realized the confetti was the sticky kind.
“PIIIIIIINKIIIIIIIIIIIIE!” she shouted, naming the only culprit she could think of. Pinkie and Discord scrambled out of there and laughed their flanks off.
“That was priceless!” Discord laughed. “I should have done this sooner with you. How did you come up with such an outrageous prank?”
“Eh, it just comes to me,” Pinkie admitted. “What next?”
“Hmm, let me think.” As he did just that, he noticed Spike coming up the road, as it was on the way to Twilight’s castle. He ran over and stopped the dragon to chat. “Hello, Spike. Could you deliver something to Princess Celestia for me? It’s urgent,” he said, bringing out a letter out of his mouth.
“That’s disgusting!” Spike groaned. “And what are you even sending? I never know with you.”
“Oh, let’s just say it’s really urgent.”
“Fine. If it means you go away, I’ll do anything.” Spike took the letter and blew fire into it, sending it away to Canterlot at once.
“Thanks, chap. Enjoy getting all that confetti out of Twilight’s mane!” said Discord, petting Spike’s head. The dragon just shrugged and went on his way home.
“What did you send Celestia, anyway?” wondered Pinkie.
“Oh, just something I wanted to send to her for a while now,” Discord giggled mischievously. “Now, I don’t think I’ve pranked Rainbow Dash before. Let’s change that right now!”
“Absolutely. She’s a prankster herself, so this will be amazing.” She followed Discord over to Rainbow Dash’s house, eager to enjoy the rest of the day with a chaotic part of her family.
As the two went on their way, Discord’s letter would be received by Celestia soon. There was no written letter, only an enclosed picture. It was a picture of Discord posing as he hugged Fluttershy tightly. On the bottom, only three words were written: “Miss me yet?”
Just like the previous 5,794 letters of the same thing, a certain princess would toss it into the trash.
