It was cold... that was the first thing I think of when I am asked to recall the bitter night. Many people ask me why I add that detail once I retell the year old story but I know better. Well, I should know... I was there! Anyway, we are getting off track... just listen and I will tell you.
It was cold.
I remember the storm howling across the sky, guiding me to the exit of the doorway. I remember a beautiful unicorn dancing by the fireplace... she was perfect, too perfect in fact.
She was too good for me and she knew it.
I had grown up quite a lot though. As though that made a difference. Green scales made their way from my chin to my tail, poking above the smooth purple that covered my body like always. I still had the same emerald eyes and same personality, if a little less childish. The main difference was a large growth spurt making me about the height of Celestia at that time and a pair of strong wings that adorned my back.
Now I know it may seem weird that I had grown to that size without the aid of greed to get me there but no dragon had ever lived among ponies before. I had grown due to my spirit and personality growing too. The more I think about it, it all came down to the ponies that helped shape me this way... Twilight, Celestia, Fluttershy, Pinkie Pie, Rainbow Dash, Apple Jack and...
Rarity.
"I'm so so sorry Spike... I just... don't feel that way."
I stood in her room after helping her out with a night time workload. The cloth had fallen to the floor along with some threads and salted droplets. Everything had dropped and everything had fallen.
Years and years had this charade been played out in my mind. Our sickly exchange of emotions ending at the sunset so that we could head towards a new day together.
She seemed to want to have me around and liked spending time with me. I never once heard her say that we couldn't hang out unless she had a particularly large order to fill.
I'd always imagined that one day, while going out on one of these regular hang out days, I would confess my feelings; she always said yes the more I'd gotten older.
As I looked at her tear stained face, a familiar look was portrayed by her eyes. It wasn't sadness that stood out more nor was it the guilt of the rejection. Though all of these feelings were displayed, none compared or mattered to me than this one. Fear.
I could understand that she may have been frightened of losing a friend. But no. It was the same fear she started treating me with whenever I complimented her or told her that she was beautiful. She was expecting this.
A boiling pit of rage courses through my veins. How could she? She knew, after everything, that I liked her. She knew all along. But she let me lay my feelings at her hooves in preparation to deny my request. She didn't put a stop to it long ago. She didn't do what a true friend would have.
My jaw clenched with anger and resentment. How could she?
"Spike... I-I just... I mean..." She blew out a long breath. "I want you to still be my friend."
That's it. I flew out of the house with such a blasting force that part of me was shocked that it was still standing. To be honest, I hadn't even looked back to check if it was. I just kept going.
The wind brushed the tears away from my eyes and unhinged my locked jaw to mutter harsh curses that had played on my mind. It did little to relieve my anger though. I wanted to break something. I wanted to physically make something as broken up as I did inside. I wanted to make it hurt.
Landing near a cave in the side of the mountain, I started to scratch my claws against the hard stone. Claw marks trailed towards the vandalizing weapons adorning my hands. Man, this felt good.
I lifted a large boulder in my pathway and in one swift motion, I crushed it against the large cave wall, turning it to only shards of the rock it used to be.
I was where I belonged. In a cave, alone, like a dragon. Who could ever love me? Most other dragons shared love through breeding and producing offspring, after which, they went their two separate ways. I was a pony. I am a pony. I love for who they may be and would spend the rest of my life with them happily.
She probably wants a high class good for nothing stallion who would prefer to sit on his backside than lift a finger at home. A dominant character, not someone who is sweet and caring. Not someone who would help cook or help clean. No. Who ever heard of kindness when it came to love.
Such a sour, unforgiving word. Love. Just saying it makes me want to bite into a lemon.
You know what, let him have her. Let her feel diminished. Let her feel as though she is worthless in comparison to him. Let her know the manipulation that I have felt over these years.
Let him have her. Live with her. Marry her. Love her.
My legs melted beneath me and I sat beneath the stone roof like a school filly being told off by her teacher.
As a sigh broke away from my lips, I looked around at the utter destruction I had caused to the small cave. I'd never been a very angry dragon. I guess I still don't know enough about myself. Cracks, chips and claw marks adorned the walls along with the splintered stone at my feet. If I moved, I would get hurt.
My claws fell limp at my sides. Sliding down the wall, I began to cry... hard.
What did I do to deserve this? What can I do to fix it? How could I ever see her again? Twilight will still be friends with Rarity, no matter what.
Maybe I just need a break from this.
Sitting alone in the small cramped space, I wept the night away. Alone. That's how dragons are meant to be, right?
I wish the thundering boom and pang in my heart would fade as I prepared to take off.
The sun had begun to rise. But it was so cold...
Author's Note
Stay tuned to read the rest!
Thanks for reading!
