Harbinger, randomness of George

by LucidTech

Rating: teen
Tags: My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Comedy, Random, Discord, Princess Celestia, Human, Main 6, Princess Luna, Original Character
Length: 31449

Brother of discord shows up. Turns out he's actually a good guy. Just don't piss him off.

-Two pairs of siblings were shattered too soon.
-One split by stone, the other by moon.
-In grief of loss the brother ran.
-Now he's come back to help all he can.

-Brother of Discord, back from the waste.
-Two thousand years, add chaos for taste.
-Meets with the elements only to find,
-His brother demented, both body and mind.

-Chaos, Confusion, and Entropy's friend.
-Discord's antics, what he's come to mend.
-Hilarity, Joy, and Jokes to spare,
-The little known brother of chaos' heir.

Picture is 'Chaos Mage' Â© *Sergon (I edited the hue a bit.)

Published 2012-07-06 20:24:01 UTC
Last updated 2013-02-20 06:43:01 UTC

Arrival

The biped walked slowly across the open grassy area off to the right of a school as he made his way toward the nearby town of Ponyville. The two separate triangular needles of hair composing his odd moustache bounced along to follow his unique gait over the grassy flatland. He was looking for information on someone very important, and the best way to retrieve the information about this particular being would be to talk to the largest source of energy in the area: the Elements of Harmony.

As he walked by, the students from the small playground all turned to look at him, one by one. Whether it was his excessively large leather hat with a brim stretching out past his shoulders, or the fact that he left a streak of poison joke behind him as he walked -heck, it could be because he was a creature none of them had ever seen before- he quickly had the attention of the entire school. With a grin, he turned to the audience and saluted them, causing a flash on each of the fillies’ and colts’ flanks. They all turned to see that they had an odd mixture of lines and shapes replacing their cutie mark or, if they didn’t have one, an image of a smiling sun on their flanks. All of them merely twisted their faces in confusion before looking back to the biped.

The man busted out laughing insanely, bent over as the hilarity racked his body. “Did you see the looks on their faces?” the maniac said to seemingly no one. “Hilarious, never see a normal horse look like that.” After a few more laughs had echoed out of his body, the biped straightened and looked once more to the young ponies. His gaze flittered across them as he pushed his glasses back up his face. Unlike normal glasses, this pair of spectacles had an additional set of shades that were currently flipped horizontally above the rims.

“I’m so sorry, I haven’t had the opportunity for chaos in two tomorrows!” the man shouted exuberantly as he held up three fingers. This exclamation was followed by a pregnant pause before the man clapped his hands. At the echoing sound of a quacking duck, a second flash of light issued from the younglings’ rears and their cutie marks returned, or disappeared; all was back to normal.

The biped grinned at the still-confused ponies before turning away and jumping into the air. The oddity clicked his heels against one another in mid air before landing and continuing his walk toward Ponyville with a very overexaggerated swagger, twirling his black walking cane as he went. As he left the area, the poison joke that had followed his path quickly withered and died without him to sustain it. The dead plants were then hastily replaced by lush green grass, leaving only a swath of well-maintained green as evidence that he had ever been there in the first place.

As he approached the settlement, he was quickly noticed by the inhabitants and a panicked alarm was passed around the town. The various ponies all quickly took up defenses inside their homes. This left the man to walk through the silent ghost town that had been a bustling village only a moment before, his poison joke stopping as he stepped onto the road. The biped paused briefly at a crossways and pulled out a small compass that was spinning randomly.

“Elements of Harmony,” the man said out loud to the compass and waited. The wildly spinning needle picked up speed and began to rotate unbelievably fast before coming to a sudden halt with the needle pointing down a street to his right. With a nod, he then proceeded to turn left and took a single step in the opposite direction. His foot never met the ground, stepping into the dirt instead. His body passed undisturbed through the solid surface until he vanished underneath the worn road. A moment later, at the end of the road, he emerged from the ground and finished his step.

The being turned his head to the side and spotted a building that had been created inside of a hollowed out tree. Surrounding that tree was a pink forcefield. “Awww, they think this will stop me. How cute.” A snap of his fingers took the man to just outside the building. The man reached into the pocket of his long coat and retrieved a small silver pin from within. “I hate to burst your bubble, but...” He poked the pink sphere and witnessed as it suddenly exploded like an overfilled balloon. The man replaced the pin back inside the coat and clapped his hands a few times to different noises before smiling and looking again at the tree house in front of him.

The biped snapped his fingers and waited for a moment until a bright red megaphone appeared in his grasp. He brought the contraption in front of him and twisted a knob on the side of the device until a horrible screeching filled the air. The wielder winced in response before turning it back a notch, thus causing the high-pitched scream to fade away.

He coughed into his hand a few times before looking toward the tree and putting the megaphone in front of his mouth. “Hello, is this thing working? One, two, three, one, two, three.” He grinned in response as the loud echoing of his own light, baritone voice filled the air. “Alright, good to hear. I was just wondering if any of you fine mares and/or stallions have seen my brother Discord anywhere? He’s about this tall,” the man swung his free hand wildly in a series of vertical gestures, never stopping at any point. “And about this wide.” The man performed the same action, but horizontally.

The human let his hand with the megaphone drop to his side and looked to the building, waiting for some kind of response. When none was forthcoming from the silent structure, the man shrugged and started walking away from it. After a few moments, he began talking gibberish into the air, seemingly to no one.

Meanwhile, inside the tree house, the Elements were all gathered and talking to each other about what they had just witnessed. “What is that thing? Discord's Brother?” Twilight asked to nopony in particular.

“Did you see that hat it was wearing? The one with that wicked grin? It looked like,” Fluttershy gulped audibly, “leather.” The word sent shivers down all the ponies’ spines.

“Personally, I think he wears far too much clothing,” Rarity said with a disapproving tone after she had recovered from the idea of headwear made of skin. “And to think, a hat with a face on it. Who would wear such a thing?”

“I think he was really funny. He seemed like a nice guy!” Pinkie contributed.

“Something definitely doesn’t sit right with me about whatever that is,” Applejack responded.

“Not to mention he’s completely crazy. He was talking to empty air for Pete’s sake!” Rainbow said.

“Hey! I am not crazy!” came the call of a seventh voice, causing all but Pinkie to freeze in fear at the familiarity. “I was talking to my hat!” They all turned around slowly to see the biped standing behind them with his arms crossed and a fake pout on his face.

“Why would you talk to your hat, silly? It’s not like it can talk back to you,” Pinkie said jovially, unfazed by the sudden appearance of the man.

“I would like to inform you that I can, in fact, talk, and that I find your assumption that I can’t to be quite the emotional blow to me and an unfair stereotype to boot,” responded an eighth, deep, voice as the oddly shaped mouth hole upon the cone-like part of the hat started to move in time with the words, its eyes shifting to display emotion.

“Yeah!” the man responded pointing his finger at his headgear. “What the leather said.”

Even Pinkie was shocked, as silence fell over the group. After a moment, the hat once again started speaking in its deep, bass voice. “I daresay I think we may have broken them. Should we get some form of medical attention for the ladies?”

“Nah, they’re the Elements of Harmony. They should be fine." The being paused for a moment before clapping his hands, causing a shining light bulb to appear above his head. "Oooo, we should go make tea for them though, something to cheer them up when they come to their senses,” the man exclaimed before running down the stairs.

Silence.

“Riiiiight...” Twilight eventually managed as her brain started working again. She looked over her shoulder to the other elements who were all coming out of their brain stalls as well. Twilight shook her head after all of her friends escaped from their self-induced comas. “I have absolutely no idea what is going on, but I guess we should go see what he’s up to downstairs. That way, we can make sure Spike isn’t freaking out about our sudden guest.”

The other ponies nodded in response and the group made their way down the stairs from their outpost on the second floor to where the kitchen was located. As they made their approach, the wafting scent of steeped tea floated into their noses, informing them that the man had kept his word and warm drinks were waiting just a few hoofsteps away.

As they turned the corner, they spotted the being and his talking hat laughing along with Spike across the table. “And so then I says,” -the clear voice of the ape-like creature reached their ears- “I says, I used to be an adventurer like you, but then I shot a guy in the knee.” The man busted out laughing again and the hat continued its deep chuckle while Spike joined in with his own unique laugh.

The young dragon turned his head to the side as he caught sight of movement in the corner of his eye, allowing him to spot the approaching group of six. “Hey Twilight!” he shouted loudly as he waved to her. “This guy is hilarious. I don’t know why you freaked out and had me send that message to the princess earlier. She sent a note back a moment ago and said that she’s coming here." Spike looked at the man across the table from him and then back to Twilight. "I hope Celestia doesn’t get too mad when she just finds this guy here.”

The man had started taking a sip of his tea while the dragonling was talking, but after the mention of Celestia, tea shot out of the mouth of the hat while the man’s eyes bulged. After the liquid had stopped spewing from its mouth, the hat glared down at the man underneath its brim. “You know how I hate when you do that. Why do you insist on continuing that disgusting practice?” the hat said with a calm voice that held an undertone of disappointment.

“Sorry, Entropy. I forgot,” the man said hastily as he stood from his chair and ran over to the oven, leaving his black cane to hang from the edge of the table. He started to rustle through all the nearby cupboards before retrieving a single metal sheet, his hat grumbling all the while.

“What are you doing now?” Twilight asked as the man grabbed a mixing bowl from nearby and started to fill it with eggs that he conjured from empty space.

“Well, if the princess is coming, I have to make crumpets to go with the tea!” the man exclaimed as if it were the most obvious thing in the world. “Wait, do you use eggs in crumpets? Doesn't matter. You can go ahead and have a sip of your tea while we wait for the guest of honor. Wouldn’t do you any good to look pale as a ghost when royalty shows up.”

Twilight looked to the side and spotted her reflection in a nearby pan. She immediately became aware that it was not merely exaggeration; she did, in fact, look pale as a bed sheet. With her mind made up, the lavender mare sat down on the table in front of a cup that was the same color as her own coat. Her friends all found their places by their coat colors as well and before long, all were seated.

Twilight ran her magic over the liquid in front of her and searched it for any kind of incantation or possible hex. Relieved to find it magic-less, the mare took a hesitant sip and was greeted by the sweet tang of a tropical herbal tea. Twilight smiled and inhaled the familiar scent of the warm liquid before looking to her other friends, who had all taken their first sip as well.

As her gaze wandered, she noticed Spike looking at her expectantly and raised an eyebrow. Realizing his attention had been noticed, the dragon sat back in his chair and began to whistle as he looked around the room. Even more confused by his antics, the mare took another sip from the tea in front of her and was shocked to find it taste like black tea.

“What?” the mare said as she looked into her cup and the scent of fresh tea leaves filled the air.

“Told ya he was hilarious. He added a ground up root of some kind to the drink to make it taste different every time you drink it,” Spike said with a grin as he took another sip from his own tea. “Mmmm, apple cider.”

Twilight turned her gaze to the man and was about to question him about what he put into the tea, when she realized he was far too enraptured with the various tins, bowls, and sheets in front of him to listen to her. The mare quickly cast a spell to search for poisons.

The results came back negative and the librarian looked to her friends who were all enjoying their own drinks. With a small grin to herself, Twilight took another sip from the tea in front of her and grinned wider as the flavor of decaf coffee filled her mouth.

“Perhaps he isn’t so bad after all. He certainly brews good tea,” Twilight said as she started to let her muscles relax. “And as Celestia says, nothing bad can come from a good cup of tea.”

Introductions

The chaotic creature balanced precariously on a single foot as he retrieved the last tray of crumpets from the oven with his one remaining free hand. The reason for his odd, flamingo-like stance was the metal sheet teetering on the sole of his shoe that was bent up behind him, upon which rested several steaming crumpets. He had insisted that placing hot pastries on wood was bad for the air and had then taken to balancing or holding every single tray he pulled from the oven on some part of his body, regardless of the heat.

The ponies all looked on, intrigued, as the biped managed to keep hold of the last tray while closing the oven door. The man turned slowly around to face the group of ponies and smiled through the tray he held in his teeth. “Dadah,” he said as he worked to keep his mouth closed around the cooking equipment. The group all applauded his efforts, the previous worry they held now forgotten after the being had demonstrated no ill-will towards them.

“Yeah, yeah, yeah. That’s cool and all but now what are you going to do?” Rainbow Dash asked as she looked at the biped, a challenge clear on her face.

“Thimple,” the oddity said around the tray in his mouth. Almost immediately afterwards, the trays all found themselves airborne as he tossed them up, quickly moving back to his normal standing position afterwards. The trays reached the apex of their height and started to fall as the man began straightening his moustache.

“Hmm, I think you may want to catch those trays now George, before they hit the ground,” Entropy said as it’s eyes shifted to reveal it was looking at the falling metal and food.

“Huh? Oh! Right,” George said as he snapped his fingers and the trays stopped their speedy descent, instead deciding to levitate at the ponies’ eye level.

Another round of applause where George bowed to them occurred and passed. “So your name is George?” Twilight asked curiously as she put her, now empty, teacup down in front of her. “That doesn’t sound like a name I would expect to be held by Discord’s brother.”

“Yeah, well, Dizzy changed his name after he realized he had chaotic energy. I decided to keep mine,” George explained as he snapped his fingers again and the trays started to spin around him, steam floating up into the air from the plates and leaving a transparent spiral about him.

The large headgear looked at the spinning trays for a moment before a look of clarity passed across his face. “Ah yes, of course, you’re cooling the food so it will be more edible for the ponies, how considerate of you.”

“Wait, I’m what?” George said with a glance towards the hat before he looked down at the rotating food. “Oh no, you got me all wrong Entropy. I just like feeling like I’m a power core sometimes," the biped said with a smile before raising his arms vertically. "PHOOOSH!” the biped shouted as a hum started to fill the air and the plates picked up enough speed to cause a gust of wind. After a moment of the oddness, he smiled and dropped his arms, the plates halting abruptly to float steadily once more in front of him as the hum died from the air.

Following a silence where the ponies all looked at him with raised eyebrows, George spoke again. “Oh, speaking of good ol’ Dizzy. Where is he? I assumed that you would know, what with being the Elements of Harmony and all.” After the question, he took a moment to retrieve his tea from the table with his now free hands and indulge in a sip as he waited for the hesitant response from the ponies.

The ponies all looked to one another in silent discussion before Applejack took the initiative to speak up. “We had ta turn him to stone. He was causing some mighty powerful chaos and we had to put an end to it,” the farm pony said in a solid tone. The gathered beings all turned to look at the man to see how he would deal with the news, including his own hat that redirected its attention towards its wearer and away from the silver plates.

The man’s face fell into a frown for a moment as the various levitating objects around him started to quiver from unstable magic. Quickly though, a cheerful smile snapped back onto his face and the snack trays steadied out once controlled magic took hold of them. George looked at each of the ponies in front of him with steady eyes. “Well, I assume it had to be done. Discord never was very good at restricting his magic.” All the spectators sighed in relief at the care free response and went back to sipping their multi-flavored tea. All except for one of them anyway.

“Why aren’t you smiling anymore?” Pinkie asked as she tilted her head to look at the man from a new viewpoint. “You just said that it had to be done, but you’re still so sad.”

“What are you talking about, this is a smile. I’m perfectly fine,” the man responded with a look to the mare.

“No, I mean, why don’t you have a real smile? You just put on that fake one.”

Before the man could respond, a knock came from the wooden doorway, interrupting the conversation. Twilight glanced between the two before standing from her seat and walking towards the door in the other room. The man remained stock-still with a glazed over expression as he looked at the pink pony. In return, the pink pony tilted her head from side to side, like she was studying something.

After a moment of the staring contest, Twilight’s voice flooded in from the main room of the library. “Oh, Princess Celestia. So glad you could come.” At the words, the entire group broke their concentration from the man and proceeded into the main room, leaving the man behind in the kitchen with his thoughts and some plates of crumpets.

Celestia managed to bid a hello to each of the Elements in addition to Spike before a familiar scent caught her attention. “Is that Joke tea I smell?” the princess asked as she looked toward the kitchen. The man within stepped around the corner, a shining white tea cup in his grip as plates of crumpets floated around him.

“It most certainly is. Hope you still like tea as much as you used to, Celestia,” the man said as he approached the alicorn. An expression of shock covered her features as the man came into view. Twilight realized this was one of two times that she had ever seen the princess surprised. The other one being when Discord had stolen the elements out from under their noses.

Celestia gathered herself and smiled to the man. “It’s been a long time George. I’m not sure if I’ve kept my taste for Joke Tea.”

“If you’ve lost it I can help you find again.” The man grinned again and flung the teacup at Celestia, the liquid within exiting past the top of the cup as it sped through the air. As it approached, the princess’s horn flashed yellow and the cup was surrounded by a matching aura. With incredible dexterity and quickness, the cup dashed through the air around the princess, catching every last drop of airborne liquid before settling into a steady horizontal grasp.

“You’re far too predictable, George.” At the words, both of the long-lived beings broke into a laugh, the man bending backwards as he did so. Twilight, again, realized she had never heard the princess laugh aloud before and took a moment to remember the sound. It was like bells made of gold were ringing.

The princess was the first to stop laughing, taking a sip of her tea while she looked at the biped in front of her. Meanwhile, the man continued on with a very long string of laughs. Eventually, it was broken by a very deep, commanding voice. “That is quite disrespectful of you George. Control yourself man, you’re in front of a princess after all.” The man’s laughter dropped to a chuckle and the voice spoke again. “I say! Compose yourself!” The chuckle ended and the man returned to his normal standing position, looking at the princess as the edges of his mouth fought to keep his laughter contained.

“Much better,” Entropy said with a finishing tone. This time, though, he was in full view of the princess and she immediately raised an eyebrow.

“Are you practicing ventriloquism now, George?” Celestia said as she eyed the hat.

“Hmmm? Oh no, this is my chaperone. Entropy meet Celestia. Celestia, Entropy,” the man said as he waved his hand back and forth between the two.

“It is a pleasure to meet you, your highness,” the hat said as it closed its eyes and attempted a look of subservience.

The princess’s look of confusion shifted to that of amusement and she inclined her head toward the hat. “It is a pleasure to meet you as well, Entropy. Being George’s chaperone must take a lot out of you.”

“It is indeed a tricky job, but he’s saved my hide more than once in the past. So it’s even,” the hat said with a grin.

“Oh, I couldn’t let that crazy mare get to you. Imagine what would happen if I had leather.”

“Well, I think the mane issue was her hair. It was quite the mess and I certainly didn’t want any of those follicles on me.”

“I would continue with these puns, but I fear that the princess and her ponies would quickly grow tired of our horsing around,” the man said, not missing a beat.

The princess took the opportunity in between bad word play to cut into the hurricane of puns and spoke, her voice full of energy. “Though I enjoy your puns, I feel that we should head back to Canterlot. Luna will be so happy to see you alive and well,” she said as she looked to George.

The biped’s smile faded away as a look of shock took its place. “You mean Luna...” Celestia smiled softly and nodded her head in confirmation. “Entropy, lend me some chaos.” The hat smiled and a red flash surrounded it for a brief moment. Following that, the man’s hands started to spark with red energy.

George looked to the ponies and locked eyes with the white princess, what seemed like an hour passed and Celestia nodded. The chaotic being raised his hands into the air and placed two of his fingers together on each hand, the magic starting to spark even more wildly as the two digits met. The sound of tearing fabric crashed through the air as the man snapped both pairs of fingers and swung his arms downward. With that painful sound, all the gathered bodies vanished into a flash of white. Additionally, they were also joined by all the different teacups that had been used for drinks and both the guard ponies outside, including their sky carriage.

(Hello, hello, hello everyone! N64Fan coming at ya with a new chapter to the best darn, rootin' tootin' story this side of the 4chan trollfic boundaries! Another big thank you to my editor StapleCactus for being awesome! -N64Fan)

Both sisters

The celestial court was being held with Luna taking the place of her absent sister on the raised seat at the front of the room. It had been a relatively slow day, until a few moments ago, when the ponies who were only awake during the day realized they could ask questions of the, usually silent, lunar sister. After that news, the court was quickly flooded with new ponies to come and ask questions that bore no relevance to Canterlot as a whole. The air was stifling when it hadn’t before, and Luna found herself restraining the urge to kick all of them out of the building when a flash of white and a spray of cotton candy ended the verbal flood.

All the ponies in the room turned away from the flash and blinked a few times to remove the searing color of red that had been imprinted by the light, only to find cotton candy on their faces or bodies. After they cleared their eyes, the gathered ponies all returned their gazes to the middle of the room and saw something quite strange. Gathered in the middle of the room, the previous occupiers of the space having been teleported away, stood a biped with several plates and teacups spinning around him. To his right stood Celestia, her ethereal mane blowing in the non-existent wind. Behind them stood the Elements, and behind them stood two very confused guards and a sky carriage.

The man spread his arms wide with a grin, matching his hats devious smile. “Luna!” he shouted, the plates falling to the ground but remaining perfectly fine. George’s hands were no longer giving off the red sparks that had danced across his fingers only seconds before, the magic having been consumed by the mass group teleport. He smiled warmly at the blue alicorn from his distance away while she tried to figure out what just happened.

After a moment, George started sinking into the ground. Worried looks crossed the ponies’ faces, but the man smiled warmly to reassure them before suddenly plummeting underneath the stone. Then, a brief moment having passed, he fell out of the ceiling and landed directly in front of Luna.

“How are you Lulu? It’s been a while!” the biped said as he started to swing his arms around to hug her. The mare’s horn glowed with magic and the man felt an energy bubble stop his momentum. George looked to Luna and saw her face covered in confusion.

“Dost I know thee?” Luna said as she looked the biped over from head to toe.

“You don’t remember me?” the chaotic being said as he looked at the princess. She shook her head in response and George paused for a moment as he reached inside of his coat. “Not even,” he said as he pulled a blue teacup from within his heavy coat, its sides displaying a full moon and new moon upon the dark blue backdrop. “All the times we had tea?”

The princess looked at George and then at the tea cup, then back to George. A silent second slowly slipped slyly by as the princess studied both the man and the cup before a look of revelation crossed her face, followed shortly by a look of elation. “George!” she shouted as she went to hug the biped as well. She was met halfway by her target as he too leaned in for a hug.

In the moment, Luna barely noticed the whisper that was quietly spoken into her ear. “I’m sorry, so very sorry,” he said before pulling away from the lunar princess. Then, he turned around to face the group he had teleported to the castle. “Pinkie Pie!” he shouted as he pointed to the earth pony, a collection of small fish shooting out of his finger before disappearing when they hit the floor. “I assume you are the party planner here?”

The pony nodded and a manic grin crossed George’s face. “I want you to dream up the best party that you can possibly imagine!” The party pony smiled widely and closed her eyes tight as she dreamt up the perfect party. “Could you lend me some Order magic for this Celestia? I’d rather the cakes didn’t explode from my Chaos. Unless Pinkie dreams them up to, I mean.”

The white alicorn nodded and her horn flashed a pure white. Sparks of the same color started to shoot from his fingertips just as the chaos magic had before. With a slight grimace of pain, the biped turned away from the alicorn and faced the pink earth pony whose mouth continued to expand in a grin. “You ready Pinkie Pie?” came the question as the man brought together two fingers on each of his hands once again.

“Yup!” Pinkie shouted, barely containing her enthusiasm. Without a word, George slowly brought his hands over his head once again as his legs began to shake from some invisible weight. This time, as he brought his fingers down into a snap, the sound was not that of a tearing cloth, but rather that of chimes. A flash once more issued from the cast of the spell and when everypony could see again, they were able to witness the immense party that had been set up around them.

“Wow, that was amazing!” Pinkie Pie exclaimed, managing to take her eyes away from the perfect party to see the biped laying on the ground with his hat covering his face. “You okay Georgie?” the party pony inquired as she bounced up to the man.

“He merely overexerted himself is all. I give you my word that he will be just fine,” Entropy said as he looked to the mare. “He does, however, wish for you and your friends to enjoy the party to its best.”

“Oh, tell him thank you for me,” The pink pony said with a grin.

“The very moment he awakens, I shall,” Entropy responded as the man lay still underneath his brim.

The pink pony bounced happily away to join her friends in the party of her dreams, leaving behind the man and his talking headgear. After she was gone, a muffled voice issued from underneath the leather cap. “Are they having fun?”

“Ah, you’re awake. Pinkie Pie would like you to know that she is very thankful for this act of yours,” the hat said. “But to answer your question,” Entropy paused for a moment, looking around the room at all the ponies who were quickly joining in on the party activities, some going outside to find that the entire castle had been decorated for the party, and that a large gathering of ponies outside the castle had taken to the punch bowls at the entrance as well. “Yes, I think they find it just wonderful George. That was quite selfless of you to do.”

“Indeed it was,” came the refined voice of Celetia. The man shot up from his laying position, his hat somehow orienting itself to move onto the top of his head as he rose, and found a table placed in front of him. “Would you be up for some tea, George? You said so yourself, it has been quite a while.”

George smiled and snapped his fingers, only to have a frog appear on his face. He grabbed the amphibian and placed it to the side of him as embarrassment covered his features. With a shake of his head, the man reached inside his coat and retrieved the small blue teacup once again and handed to Luna. She grasped it with her magic and placed it on the table in front of her.

Celestia placed her own white cup on the table as well. Meanwhile, George reached into his coat once more, withdrawing two odd cups. One was a light blue color, while the other was shifting through the entire visible light spectrum erratically.

George placed both teacups on his own side of the table and waited for Celestia to fill them up. As the heat of the tea filled his own cup, the color shifted to a steady red color and the biped smiled sadly to himself as he looked at the abandoned cup that sat to his side. A silent second passed before he shook his gaze from the cup and looked once more to the alicorns that sat opposite him on the table.

The group enjoyed a few sips of their tea in silence before Luna spoke up. “How hast thou been these past two thousand years?”

“I’ve been good, made friends with a piece of headwear. You know, the usual stuff,” George said nonchalantly as he took a drink of his tea. The taste of chocolate milk spread through his mouth and George grinned.

“That was quite rude of you. You never even introduced me to the princess and now your just pacing me off like some rubbish you found on the sidewalk? Hardly proper. If you are going to talk about me at least talk about me like I’m here,” Entropy said from his position atop George’s head. Luna blinked a few times in bemusement before she passed off the shock of the talking hat as being just the kind of thing that George would end up with.

“Well, if you’re gonna be so rude about it, then you can tell the story of how we met while I sip tea,” George said in response. “And Luna, this is Entropy, my talking hat.”

“It is nice to meetest thee, Entropy,” Luna said as she bobbed her head to the hat.

“The pleasure is all mine, Princess,” the hat responded, attempting a bow as it did so.

After an appropriate period of silence, Celestia spoke up. “Now that we are all acquainted, I think that we should hear this story of how you and George met up. You don’t really see a talking hat every day.”

“Indeed,” the hat agreed before pausing, “Well, it all started about one hundred years ago, I suppose. I was quite a curious unicorn stallion and I remember there was a rumor of a witch haunting the forest to the north of my small town. Being the stubborn male that I was, I decided that I could kick that witch right out of the forest and away from our town.

“Little did I know, she was quite a bit stronger than the rumors said, and I soon found myself outmatched by her magical skill. She could have killed me easily, but instead, she opted for a better punishment. She trapped my soul inside of a hat and tossed me away into the forest. The surface of the hat formed into this wicked display of a face that you see now, but I was completely motionless.

“It was about ten years later that the strangest creature I had ever seen came waltzing right through the forest. And I mean, he was literally waltzing, dance and all, right through the middle of this haunted forest. The witch had lengthened her life through some dark magic and was still living there as well.

“Well, just as I thought this odd biped would pass me by, he stopped and picked me up off the ground where I had more or less rested for the past decade. Upon contact, his eyes widened for a moment before his face fell into a scowl and he looked about the woods for something. After not seeing what he was looking for, he looked to me and flooded me with magic. It wasn’t the normal unicorn magic I was used to though, it was pure energy.

“I gasped at the sudden flow of power before I realized I could talk. Before I could start blathering on about my new found freedom, he looked me in the eyes and, in what I can only describe as a quiet yell, he asked me where the unicorn was who cursed me so.

“I described the lair of the witch and told him that it had been about a decade since I had been there. I was quite overcome when he started marching directly to the lair. I tried to warn him of her immense power, but he ignored me, telling me that he knew of her strength and that he had come to clear her out in the first place.

“He continued on to the lair and soon found himself standing in front of the witch. She wheeled around to face the intruder and started to cast spells at him. This odd creature batted the magic to the side, like it was absolutely nothing. The witch was scared stiff of the power that this man held and began to back away from him. Much to my eternal regret, I remember shouting at him to kill her, that the world would be better without her on it.

“He immediately removed the magic from me so I couldn’t talk anymore and approached the witch. I still remember what he said in the finest of details. He said ‘I have come to give you the chance to leave this place, no ill will. If you accept my offer, I expect you to leave and never practice dark magic again, because if you do, I will come back and you will die.’

“The witch was stunned before hurriedly leaving the lair. The man paused and placed me on a hat rack nearby before sitting down on one of the small chairs and looking at me. He said one simple phrase to me that day, one that I hold to my non-existent heart even now. ‘Death has never solved anything, and it never will.’ And then he left, just exited the lair and left me on that hat rack.

“I thought he was so mad at me that he was just going to leave me there, and by the next morning, I had convinced myself that he had left me for good. So it was quite to my astonishment when the door swung open and he stepped into the room. He grabbed me from the hat rack and placed me on his own head before walking out of the town. It wasn’t long after that, I learned he had put enough magic into me that I could talk. So I did the first thing that came to mind, I apologized. I said I was sorry for telling him to kill and voiced my fear of him leaving me behind.

“He grinned a wicked grin then that put mine to shame and said ‘Leave you behind? Why would I do that? You're the coolest looking hat that I’ve ever seen. And you can talk to boot!’ and then he broke into a loud laugh that I slowly joined him in. He was quite insane, and I was quite the basket case myself, but at least neither of us were alone after that.”

“Dang man, you make me sound like a hero. That was such a cheesy story.”

“Well, if you weren’t so cheezy then perhaps the story wouldn’t have been as good,” Entropy countered before the quartet started laughing in good fun and sipped their tea. The party around them began to come to an end as the various ponies started to leave, but even then, the four old beings merely laughed in mutual understanding and let their worries slide away in good company.

Brotherly "Love"

George lay relaxing as he leaned back on a lawn chair in the absolute center of the hedge maze that the princess maintained near the castle. Next to him rested the statue of Discord upon his pedestal, decorated with a hawaiian shirt. They were both facing the same way while the older brother sipped out of his tropical drink, moving aside his, now fu manchu, mustache in order to fully enjoy the refreshment. Entropy was still perched upon the man’s head but his eyes were closed, his mouth still curled into it’s unnatural smile.

“You know bro, I never wanted any of this to happen. The day when we were plucked from our lives and brought here to balance the scales of harmony with our chaos was probably the worst day of my life,” George said before pausing, only the sound of him stirring his drink breaking into the air. “I didn’t know it at the time, but I would have tried to leave if I realized that staying would lead to losing you. The rest of our world could have burned to ashes, but as long as you were there by my side, I like to think that, with all my hubris, I could walk barefoot across those fires.”

The man broke into a manic laugh for a moment before settling down against the plastic of his seat again and taking a moment to enjoy another sip of his drink, closing his eyes as he did so. “Do you remember the color of the sky that day we showed up in front of those two alicorn sisters?” The man paused, both in dramatic tension as well as waiting for a response he knew wasn’t coming, as he viewed the day vividly in his mind. “Pink! I could hardly believe it. Of all the colors that the sky could have been, it was cotton candy pink. You were so excited by that if I remember right. You said that if this was what it was like every day you wouldn’t ever leave.”

George grinned again as he opened his eyes and glanced up to the statue beside him. The stone being’s eyes were staring directly down at him. “Shoot!” the biped exclaimed in shock as he stumbled out of his lawn chair in surprise. When he stood again the odd amalgamation was, once again, facing as it should be, much to the relief of the elder brother who let out a breath he didn’t know he was holding. “Just a little madness, that’s all,” George said in a vain attempt to make himself try and belief it.

Despite his self reassurance, the chaotic being leaned in close to examine the statue so he could ensure himself of its immobility. Seeing nothing out of order, George returned to his normal standing position. “Done already, George? You haven’t spent too long out here yet, and this is the first time seeing your brother in two thousand years, if I remember correctly,” came the deep tone of the man’s constant companion.

“Oh, sorry Entropy. I wasn’t aware that I woke you. I was just startled was all,” George explained as he turned away from the statue and snapped his fingers. The lawn chair and drink both disappeared as well as the shirt that the petrified Discord had been wearing.

The hat glanced around the area for a moment before his gaze dropped to the biped beneath his brim. “Startled? By what, may I ask? We are completely alone out here with your brother.”

“Oh, nothing,” George said cryptically as he looked back to the statue. “The Elements did quite a number on him though, didn’t they? Even with me here, next to him, he can’t garner enough magic to break out.”

“Yes. The princesses did mention that when the Elements are used properly, split up among six, the friendship and love between those ponies will strengthen the power.”

“Well, that’s good to know. Make sure to remind me never to get on their nerves, hmm?”

“I think it’s far too late for that George.”

“Yeah yeah yeah, I think I’m done here for the day. My nerves are shot and I can’t really focus on relaxing anymore. Let’s just head out,” George said with a turn as he headed towards the green archway that marked the doorway to the middle of the maze. Entropy decided not to question the odd actions of the man and just chalked it up to nervousness of some sort.

Just as they had reached the arch, a loud thud issued from behind them, accompanied by a tingling sensation down the being’s spine. In response George spun around to see a large burly gorilla barreling down at them. “What!?” was all the biped had time to say before jumping to the side in order to dodge a wild punch from the ape. “You’re seeing this too, right Entropy?”

“Indeed I am, though I can scarcely believe it,” responded the hat as it looked on in shock. A gorilla was a very unusual sight in Equestria, to the point that the headwear couldn’t even claim the title of seeing one in his adventures with the madman.

While the man was still airborne, the monkey turned and jumped towards them, preparing to attack once again. “Why are you so fast?” George asked pointlessly as he snapped his fingers, firing off a set of fireworks from each hand that blinded the ape. Without its sight, the creature didn’t see as George landed on the ground and pulled out an extremely large mallet from the folds of his coat. Once the sparks had cleared its eyes, it was too late to change course and the beast quickly found itself flying high into the air.

George jumped into the air after the creature, his mallet trailing behind him as he did so. As they approached, the chaotic being brought his hammer to bear and swung it at the chest of the ape. His blow was blocked as the ape brought a sword out of nowhere and cut the mallet in half. The man dropped his useless weapon with a cry of ‘come on!’ and kicked against the air to propel himself back to the ground.

“George, you have the ranged advantage, utilize it,” Entropy said with a calculating, mentor-like tone. The man responded with a nod and reached into his coat once again. The gorilla landed a few moments later as George retrieved his black cane from the folds of his outfit. As the beast swung with its weapon, the human jumped to the side once again and pointed the end of his cane at the monster.

“FIRAGA!” George exclaimed. An extremely large fireball exited the end of the cane and flew quickly through the air towards his opponent. An explosion rocked the ground, but the beast continued its assault through the fire and smoke. “Friggin monster,” the biped cursed under his breath. “Now is not the time to fight me.” With those words, George paused and stood perfectly still on the ground, flipping the shades of his glasses down as he did so.

The gorilla closed the distance to the man in a few seconds and jumped at him, bringing its blade to bear as it did so. Static electricity ran along the cane before George slammed the end into the ground. “Chaos: Gravaga!” Instantaneously, the beast started floating away into the air, losing its composure as it did so. The man was unaffected by the sudden shift in gravity and he quickly jumped into the air after the flailing ape.

A sharp reflection of white flashed across his shades as George planted his hand against the abdomen of the monstrous creature. “Chaos:” George said in a calm tone, another flash of white dancing across his lenses. “Summon!” Streaks of black and red shot out of the point of contact and wrapped around the ape. In a flash of dark crimson, the beast was gone, having been teleported far away, and George fell slowly to the ground.

As he landed, George flipped his shades back up and a shockwave echoed from behind him. As it hit the biped, he hunched over and placed his cane firmly between him and the ground. “Dimensional costs. What I wouldn’t give for an elixir right now.”

“Are you alright, George? I don’t think I’ve ever seen you use so much energy without borrowing from me first,” Entropy said in a worried tone. Overuse of energy was a common practice with the man, but this event was quite a step above the others.

“I’m perfectly fine. I just need....” George paused for a moment as he gasped deeply for breath. “I just need a few moments.” The biped took several deep rattling breaths before something clicked in his head. “Crap, if the castle is under attack...” The man quickly broke in a run, dashing through the several different hedges that composed the maze until he exited the other side with several scratch wounds to show for it.

Even after clearing the threshold of the labyrinth, George didn’t pause for a moment and continued running full tilt toward the castle a few yards away. As he rounded the corner, the man sighed in relief. Both princesses stood together at the doorway of the castle, unharmed. Pausing for another breath, the man bent over and leaned against his cane. “So. How are you two doing this evening?”

“George, is something wrong? We felt a surge of Discord’s energy from outside and came to investigate. And then on our way out, we felt three short bursts of your magic,” Celestia said as she looked to the man. “Did something happen?”

“You mean other than me letting my brother play video games? Not really, no,” George said with a half hearted grin, straightening his spine and placing the cane back into the folds of his cloak.

“What occurred? An altercation of some sort I assume,” Luna said as she looked around, her eyes narrowed in search of something that might have been conjured by the draconequus in their hedge maze.

“Nothing, just a little sibling rivalry. I stuck around a little too long and Discord absorbed and redesigned my subconscious magic to his will, which turned out to be a large gorilla. I then proceeded to show him that I was not to be toyed with. I guess, all in all, Discord is,” George paused for a moment as he glanced at the ground, the smile fading from his face, “not who I remember, as I should have figured out long ago.”

Both of the alicorns let the silence fall into place for a moment. “George...” Celestia started, but let the end of her sentence drop off. She was unsure of how to deal with the sudden mood swing in the, usually cheerful, human.

“You are forgetting something of utmost importance, George,” Luna said as she lowered her head slightly to look in the eyes of the man, a calming tone lacing her words. “We are your friends, and you are ours. We will always be there for each other if we need one another.”

“Heh, I guess so. I’m being such a downer right now. C’mon, lets go do something. Maybe I could assist you in your duties as rulers?” George suggested while a niggling voice at the back of his head pointed out that Discord had been much more than a brother, a look how that ended up.

Celestia bobbed her head slightly at the idea and smiled. “I think both my sister and I would enjoy that.” The solar sister pause briefly before looking to the leather hat. “Maybe Entropy could tell us a story while we sort through the separate suggestions and charters that the ponies of the kingdom have sent in.”

“I would very much enjoy that privilege. Thank you for asking,” Entropy said in his deep voice before the quartet set off towards the same room, somewhere in the far back of the castle, that was filled to the brim with charters and ideas and various other things requiring the signature of the princesses.

It wasn’t exactly the most entertaining of jobs, but it was new and it would help get his mind off of his younger brother. For that reason, George smiled his same wide smile as he followed the bearers of the responsibilities for Order. Of course, it was clear that if this was going to be his new home, he would need to make some form of connection with the ponies besides ‘that odd thing that the princesses know’.

Little did he know that the following day would be filled to the brim with odd occurrences, as well as an opportunity to show his good will to the ponies. Of course, the act of redeeming one’s family name can be quite difficult, even for a wielder of chaos, and the biped would need the help of all his old friends if he were to succeed.

Nuts and Screws

After the combined efforts of four entities working over the paperwork, the quartet had freed up some ‘free’ time for the princesses during the following day and night. Luna had opted to take a nap for the day, as was her wont. This left Entropy and George to accompany Celestia to her decided activity with her spare time. It was revealed that the white alicorn was leading them to the school for gifted unicorns to be observe the student’s tests for the morning.

Upon entering the test room, a pair of stiff-backed chairs had been set up for the duo to sit in as they watched over the participants. With a snap of his fingers, George transformed his chair into a water bed and immediately plopped down upon it. Looking out from under Entropy’s brim, George smiled at Celestia. “Would you like one as well?” he asked as he started to settle into a comfortable position on the unstable surface.

“Thank you for asking George, but I assure you that I am quite fine in my normal chair,” the princess said with a soft grin.

“Suit yourself. You sure that I can’t convince you?”

“George, even if the princess did wish to sleep on this monstrosity of a bed that you seem to enjoy for some reason, do you really think that she would wish to do so in front of her subjects?” Entropy’s face was unreadable as per usual, but the tone of light joviality that one uses when talking to children was unmistakable in his voice.

“I suppose you’re right,” George responded while he lowered his head onto the bed. With a snap of his fingers, an old worn book winked into existence in his palm.

“Already, George? I don’t recall you getting bored so easily,” Celestia asked with a hint of teasing in her voice.

“Hmm?” The man glanced at the princess. “Oh no, I’m just reading up on the subject of unicorn magic before we start,” George said as he showed the cover of the book to the solar princess. The cover was quite odd, with an outline of a unicorn scrawled upon the surface underneath a set of black lettering that read ‘Unicornomicon’. Before the princess could ask about the book, she was cut off when a guard announced that the tests were starting and a singular pony was sent into the room. George sat up in his bed and looked toward the pony anxiously.

The hopeful unicorn was a filly of about eight years. As she entered, her eyes went wide upon spotting Celestia sitting at the far end of the room. After a moment of shock, the filly dropped into a bow and George started snickering. Celestia turned her gaze to the man with a raised eyebrow and the man’s amusement escalated into a full on laugh. “I-I’m so sorry, Celestia,” he said through his laughs “I just can’t help but crack up at the way ponies bow.”

The princess motioned for the unicorn to rise and, after a few more laughs, George calmed down and composed himself. After he was finished, Celestia spoke up to the shocked pony. “Start when you are ready.” Her tone was calming and the young unicorn took a breath in through her nose and closed her eyes. After releasing the breath slowly, the young pony nodded to the princess. The act was returned and the filly began to gather magic in her horn.

As the magic was slowly condensed into her horn, George looked to the princess. “So, do you know who this is?” he asked softly as to avoid breaking the filly’s concentration.

“I believe I’ve seen her here before. From what I recall she’s been here to test twice prior, but her magic always got out of grip and disappeared before she could do anything with it,” Celestia returned in a soft tone.

With a bemused expression, George looked at the mare and closed his eyes. He gathered a tight ball of chaos magic in himself, then let it slowly bleed into the air. As it moved toward the filly, George was aware of all the magic that was in the room: the filly’s, his own, and the basic level magic that Celestia gave off. Just before his magic reached the young unicorn’s horn, George realized far too late what was different about her magic. It was laced with chaos.

Before George could withdraw his magic, the two collided and fused with each other before letting loose in a massive explosion. The wall behind the filly was knocked loose and she was sent flying out of the hole it left behind. With immediate action, George grabbed Entropy’s brim and a flash of red issued from his hand. After a sudden flick of his wrist, the hat was thrown onto the bed behind him and George broke into a run.

Diving out of the impromptu window that he helped make, the man tucked his limbs to his side, giving him a lot more speed as he plummeted toward the flailing filly. The filly paused her reckless motions as she looked at the biped who was fast approaching her. The ground was speeding toward her, but the man was flying even faster. He was within an arm’s reach when he reached out for the pony who was so close to death...

And then he snapped his fingers and flew right past her. The filly blinked at the empty sky for a moment before rolling over to look toward the ground. There was now a cannon where there hadn’t been one before and the pony’s mind went blank. With an explosion that rocked the nearby buildings, George flew out of the cannon and grabbed the young unicorn in his arms.

They soared through the air towards the same hole that they had fallen from. As they reached it, the momentum of the cannon shot faded away and they came to a halt at the apex of their flight. George spun three times end over end before landing easily on the stone at the edge of the room where the two had been not moments before. Upon landing, a series of fireworks shot up from behind him and the man smiled widely before placing the filly on the ground.

“I will give you a nine out of ten for that one, I think. It was well executed, but a bit too flashy and needlessly overt,” Entropy said from his position on the water bed.

“Fireworks were too much?”

“The CANNON was a bit much. The fireworks were just the nitro on top of the glycerin.”

Before George could form a retaliation against his hat, a group of guards burst into the room. “Are you alright, Your Majesty?” The captain asked. The other guards were approaching George and the filly who stood behind him.

“Yes, captain. I am perfectly fine.” Despite her words, the other guards continued their approach toward the man.

The captain turned his attention to the man and he took on a look of anger. “I should have known that the brother of Discord would be helping in this attack,” he spat.

George snapped his fingers and Entropy teleported onto his head. With that done, the man smiled and looked at the guards. “I’m sorry, you’ll have to explain this one to me a bit. What attack?”

“You know very well what attack. Don’t play dumb.”

“If I’m playing, then what’s your excuse?” George asked nonchalantly as he placed his finger on his chin in mock thought.

“Are you insulting me?” The captain demanded, his eyes narrowing at the very idea that someone would have to gall to do so.

“No, I’m trying to get you to see reason. Plan A failed, and so did Plan B. Now we have to punch each other into submission so that I can ask the question in a shallow tone and you’ll answer out of respect for my fighting skills.”

“Both of you, quiet down!” The voice was Entropy’s and it flowed with enough force to freeze not only both males, but also the rest of the guards in their places. “How about we have the princess work this out?” Both nodded at the idea and the hat looked toward Celestia.

“Very well then,” Celestia answered as she walked toward the gathering. Upon arrival, she turned her head to the stallion who had been arguing with George. “Captain, would you mind explaining the situation?”

“It is very simple,” the captain said, relaxing into a more factual tone. “That filly isn’t the pony who was signed up for this test. We found out when the original arrived with a completely unkempt mane and coat. When asked about her truancy, she informed us that her clock had been set incorrectly so she wasn’t awoken on time. She also has no idea how that had happened because she had triple checked it before going to bed.”

The filly behind the man shuffled behind his legs and out of sight of the guards. “And so,” George said as he pieced the puzzle together, “you automatically assumed the worst when an explosion issued from up here, leading you to believe the princess was under attack. Which, in turn, explains the actions of you guys upon arrival.”

The guards nodded and George turned his attention to the filly behind him. Crouching low to the ground, the man could feel the inherent magic energy coming off of her. With a snap of his fingers, the colors faded away from the pony, revealing an earth pony mare with two-tone hair: pink and white. Chaotic energy was writhing through her body even now, and George looked at her with pity.

“Who is it? Do you know her, George?” Entropy asked from atop the man’s head, unable to get a clear look at the pony below his brim.

The biped didn’t answer immediately, instead remaining silent as he looked at the pony. “She’s just trying to fit in. She was caught in the middle of one of Dizzy’s chaos rampages. The magic fused with her mind and made her into this. All she wants is to be normal, but the magic in her won’t let her.” George looked at the eyes of the pony, the eyes that danced with swirls and madness and yet were also full of so much despair. With sudden determination in his voice, the man spoke again. “Can everypony back away please?”

The guards were about to protest when Celestia glared at the captain. With an audible gulp, he backed away from the biped, his patrol following him as he did so. The alicorn backed away as well and watched with intrigue as the man placed his open palms on either side of the mare’s head. With a deep breath, the man closed his eyes and focused on the magic that was flying crazily within the filly’s body.

With a sudden snapping noise, like a breaking branch, a green sphere wrapped around the three beings and Celestia had to blink away the tears springing from her eyes as nearly overpowering waves of magic flooded into her body. She backed up several more steps, until the magic overflow was minimal, and looked back toward the spectacle. Grass began to sprout from the stone near the trio and vines started to climb up the nearby pillars. Without warning, the sphere turned red and the plants caught aflame for a second before turning to ashes.

The sphere then started shifting through colors at a blinding rate and all manner of incredible impossible things occured. Frozen flames and plants of stone would spring to life and then disappear, only to be replaced by something even more unbelievable. With another snapping noise, the sphere vanished into thin air and the magic that had been released was gathered and stored directly inside of George.

George opened his eyes once again and looked at the young mare in front of him. Her eyes bore normal irises once again, though her hair remained it’s odd pink and white mixed color. The best part though, the best part was that her eyes were crying tears of joy. Without warning, the mare clamped tightly around George’s midsection in a hug while the salty water dripped down her face. “The voices are gone!” she exclaimed. Her voice was young to match her form and the man smiled to himself.

“Awwwww,” George said in a light-hearted tone before looking over his shoulder to the ivory princess. “Can I keep her?”

Author's Note

More thanks to StapleCactus, of course. Turns out that commas are pretty useful things. He has taught me the beauty of the comma. And so, in honor of the comma, a paragraph.

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In other news, I set up a tumblr so you peoples can ask me questions.http://n64fan.tumblr.com/Do with that what you will. (Ask me questions, I get bored while I mull over chapters

Sunshine, Sugar, and Chemical Chaos

Take my advice,

Follow MY path.

Hold on to your hatred,

Bask in your wrath.

Crusade of fire,

Chaos will rise!

Ignore the sisters,

I see past their lies.

I have survived,

Through deception and pain.

I ignore other's doubt,

They call me insane.

"Too long he has lived,"

"Stop him we must!"

I will burn them to ashes,

I WILL TURN THEM TO DUST.

Screwball jolted awake. The voice of Discord may have been removed from her waking thoughts, but it still haunted her dreams. That was when it truly hit her, having the voices banished from her mind truly hadn’t been her hopeful imagination. The odd biped had really done it, he had freed her from her own nightmares. Just as it had before, the feeling of relief washed over her and the young filly felt like crying tears of joy.

After she had finished crying, the small filly wiped her eyes clear of her tears and looked around the room that she was in. Everything was decorated with a pink hue and it took a moment for her eyes to adjust. Once they did though, she gleefully took in her surroundings. The room was quite well laid out, with a window on her right that gave her a wonderful view of the rising sun through a set of red curtains that danced in what little wind was coming in through the slightly opened bottom.

Aside from the bed that she currently found herself in, the room held a single bedside table on her left and a table with two chairs on the other side of the room. A gust entered through the slightly opened window, stirring a piece of paper that was resting next to Screwball’s head. The movement caught the filly’s eyes and she lifted the paper from its position to read it.

3... 2... 1...

-George

As soon as she finished reading the paper, the door to her room exploded off its frame, the slivers of wood turning into bananas as they flew through the air while the metal hinges changed into a matching pair of elongated glass bowls. The glass bowls landed on the table almost immediately, while the bananas shed their peels in mid air before sliding into their positions on the glass. Screwball was shocked motionless as she lay in the bed, amazed by the spectacle. It wasn’t quite over yet though, as a flurry as baseballs streamed in through the doorway.

The stitching of the balls came apart, revealing orbs of ice cream that flew through the air and joined the bananas. The stitching and the baseball skin transformed as well as they passed through the air: the stitches turning into lengths of chocolate syrup and the skin of the ball turning into collections of nuts. Once stuff had stopped flying, two banana splits decorated in toppings rested on the table.

Before Screwball could wrap her head around the events, she became aware of a loud clacking noise. Looking once again to the door, she witnessed George walk in while wearing a pair of wooden clogs on his feet. Once in the room, the biped stepped out of the clunky shoes, revealing a pair of black dress shoes adorning his feet. With a smile to the filly, the man took a wood shoe in each hand before immediately throwing them towards the ground. Upon contact with the stone, the shoes shattered into tiny bits.

A snap of George’s finger, and the pieces of wood began to swirl into the air as if held by a small tornado. Wind began to whistle as air was dragged into the room through the small crack of the window. Then, without a warning, the pieces all collided in the center of the whirlwind and a flash of light issued from the collision point. After blinking the afterlight out of her eyes, Screwball looked up to see a duo of cushioned chairs, decorated with gold filigree, where the tornado had been not a moment before.

After sliding the chairs up to the table, George waved his hand to Screwball and motioned towards one of the chairs while he took his own seat. The filly made her way across the open space and gladly took her seat. George slid a banana split across to her and placed one in front of himself with a grin plastered on his face. After the deserts were placed properly, the human reached into one of sleeves and pulled out a thin roll of wafer-like candy.

He took the wafer thin sheet and slid it around the banana split, bowl and all. Then he rolled the entire thing into an impossibly small cylinder, which he lit and proceeded to smoke. In answer to this, Screwball closed her eyes for a moment, biting her tongue lightly until a propeller cap appeared on her head. She wasn’t quite done yet though, as the propeller began to spin while starting to glow purple. After a moment, a single swirly straw was levitating in front of the young filly and she placed the end directly inside the banana split.

Without wasting a second, she immediately began to inhale through the straw and the banana split began to vanish before their eyes, traveling through the entire set of loopdeloops before eventually hitting the taste buds of the filly’s tongue. The amazing thing was that the entire desert had been sucked up the straw as if it had been nothing but liquid. George started clapping at the impressive display and Entropy began a short series of ‘Bravo’s. The result of which was the small filly jumping onto the table and bowing deeply to both of the beings who sat across from her.

“So,” George started, clapping his hands together a final time, “how are you today, Screwball? You seem in much better spirits.”

“Well, it’s been a good day so far. Banana splits for breakfast, no more voices in my head except my own, and I still have control over some chaos magic. It’s been a spinnerific morning.”

“That’s good to hear, and I think I have some news that will make this day even better.”

“You got me a cake?” Screwball asked, her eyes going wide as she imagined the idea of having even more sugar to start off her day.

George let loose a short laugh for a moment before smiling at the filly again. “No, even better.” The man paused for a moment as he swung his arms out to the side for the purpose of building dramatic tension. “I,” he paused again while the filly leaned forward in her chair to make sure she didn’t miss his next words. A few birds flew by outside the window as the clock tower in town rang nine times. Clouds began to form and drift through the blue sky with a slight breeze continuing it journey through the cracked open window, “found your parents!”

Screwball’s eyes went even wider and she began to jump up and down with joy. “Can I see ‘em? Can I? Can I? Can I?”

“Of course!” George said with a jovial tone as he snapped his fingers. The trio were immediately teleported downstairs where Screwball was happy to find two familiar looking adults.

“Mom! Dad!” Screwball exclaimed as she jumped through the air towards her parents who caught her in outstretched hooves. With tears in their eyes, the two ponies happily hugged their daughter who had been missing for a fairly long time.

“Screwball! We were so worried!” Any words that may have been said in response were cut off as a heavy ‘thunk’ echoed from behind the filly. All of them turned to look and witnessed George crying tears of his own as he sliced a knife through onions while they levitated in midair, his tears turning into bouncy rubber balls before hitting the ground.

“Don’t mind me, just fitting the mood,” George said with a sniff as Entropy mimed rolling his eyes, the idea somehow getting across despite his lack of pupils. “So many tears!”

With a shared set of glances between each member of the family, the filly was gently lowered to the ground and the trio of ponies approached the biped. The stallion was the first to speak. “Well, I would just like to thank you George, for bringing our daughter back to us.”

“I, too, would like to thank you,” said the mare.

George looked at the two with a smile on his face before looking up at his hat with his grin fading slightly. “Entropy, make a note. I need to get a black mask and find a stallion named Silver.”

“Note taken,” Entropy replied in his deep voice. “And I’m not even going to ask why.”

“Thanks.”

The adult ponies shared a look of curiosity before they looked back to see George smiling warmly at them. “Sorry about that, got lost on a tangent.” After a pause, where he looked to Screwball standing behind her parents, George continued. “I feel that I should tell you that your daughter is in possession of chaos magic and has the ability to utilize it like a unicorn does their own magic,” he said in a completely nonchalant tone.

The parents’ mouths fell agape at the words and they looked to their daughter, who smiled back with her beanie spinning wildly. “Because of this, I would like to ask that I be allowed to teach her the finer controls of chaotic energies before she return home. Outside of my own chaotic energy field, things could get quite... strange.”

“Ooooo, it’ll be like camp! Can I Mom? Pleeeeaaase?” Screwball pleaded, jumping up and down once again.

“I-I guess so, if it’s okay with your dad.” The filly looked to her dad, who nodded in return.

“Yay! Now I get to hang out with Mister George some more!”

The parents were dumb struck as the filly took to the air, her propeller spinning wildly as she flew. Then, with a flash of purple, she disappeared. Seeing the looks on their faces, George smiled lightly and crouched in front of the ponies so he was at eye level. “Don’t worry. If you ever get afraid for her, come on by and you three can hang out. I promise.”

They nodded slowly in response and George stood once again. After a nod of his own to the parents he snapped his fingers, teleporting himself away and to the back garden area of the castle, where he found Screwball bouncing around a tree. “Come on Screwb, we have some practice to practice.”

The filly let loose a disappointed moan, but excitedly followed the man into the forest as he began a short rhyme that sounded familiar to her in pacing.

Take my advice,

Follow your own path.

Whether that involve magic,

Or whether it involve math.

Crusades expire,

Time just flies.

Live while you can,

Something, something, demise.

It’s life in your years,

not years in your life.

We need to press forward,

Despite any strife.

Why am I rhyming?

This makes no sense.

Just a line or two,

and then the word ‘pence’.

(Credit for the poem at the top of this chapter goes to MrSpartan. I edited it to make it flow better and then made a version for George at the bottom here. Again, StapleCactus is my awesome editor for this work. In fact, while we’re talking about Staple, I did a Fallout Equestria collaboration with him. If you’re interested the link is here. Fair warning: It's pretty adult, -N64Fan)

Paradox in a Box, without the box

“SCREWBALL!” George shouted as he walked into the dining hall where his student was busy entertaining the castle staff with her juggling skills. She would take any nearby object that wasn’t nailed down -and a few that were!- and utilize it in her act. “Get your stuff together! We’re going on an adventure!”

“Really!?” Screwball said excitedly as she turned away from the crowd, leaving the objects to continue their juggling pattern as they spun in circles in the air even without her actions being used to keep them in line anymore. After the crowd realized they had been had, they all stiffly walked away, somewhat disappointed in having been so easily fooled. “Where are we going?”

“In whichever vague direction I decide the sphinx will be.” George said, planting one foot on a nearby bench and placing his hand into his coat pocket, causing it to rest across his chest.

“Sphpppp... The what?” Her tongue sputtered helplessly for a moment as she looked at George, waiting for her answer with a helpless expression.

“The sphinx. Giant eagle, hawk, lion, chimera things. Ya know, like to tell riddles to travellers because they are useless slouches who aren’t good for anything besides furry pillow down?” He was met with a confused look, as he expected, and shrugged. “Come with me and I’ll give you ice cream that is more wonderful than you can imagine.”

It was at this point that Celestia teleported into the room and looked toward George with a panicked expression. “George, I need your help! Twilight was kidnapped by a sphinx!”

“I know. I was just going to go track it down.”

“You know? How do you know?”

“Future me came from the past -he was early you see- to tell me that she was. Apparently, it’s screw with people who don’t like paradoxes day and I can’t wait until its my turn, so I’m heading out as soon as Screwball is ready.”

A slow blink from Celestia. “Alright, well, good luck, then. I hear she got taken eastward.”

“This isn’t my first day of tracking; I know how to hunt. The thing is, she’ll be expecting us to walk straight to her, so we’ll go so far west that we end up going east.”

“Ooo!” Screwball jumped into the conversation. “Maybe we could go so far up that we go down and get the sneak attack on her from beneath her.”

“I like the way you think, Screwy. Let’sa go!”

“I thought my nickname was Screwb,” the earth pony answered, seemingly slightly upset at having to use a different name. So much so that the propeller on her hat stopped spinning.

“Sorry, I got confused. See, the alternate universe version of you that is male is called Nailgun and his nickname is Naily.”

“You just made that up didn’t you?” The propeller was starting to spin again and the man smiled in return.

Instead of answering her though, he snapped his fingers, a cotton candy cone appearing in front of Screwball and distracting the filly from what they had been talking about. “Hey, look! It’s runaway cotton candy! Catch it for the good of Equestria, Screwb.” The filly immediately took off after the sugary treat, tongue stretching to comedic lengths as it flapped in the air next to her face. The man was not far behind as he followed her out of the door, leaving one very confused Celestia standing in the wake of the chaos.

“I think... I should go talk to my sister about those new laws that we’ve been meaning to pass... or something.”

“Right. We’re about to get attacked by the sphinx, but she doesn’t know we know. And by all the rules of epic adventures, that means that I now have to go into the details of things that other people might be curious about,” George said, tapping a pen against a hardbound book resting in his palm while he looked at the air with a curious expression. After a moment, he turned to Screwball. “So I suppose I’ll just ask you what the trick behind using chaos magic is, and then you’ll say...”

“The trick to using chaos magic is to make sure that you are having fun with it,” Screwb answered readily, an empty cotton candy cone on the end of her muzzle.

“Yup, and now-”

“HALT, TRAVELERS!” A sphinx descended out of the sky, flapping loosely in the air as it slowed its descent. A minute later, and it landed in front of the man and his student, a smug smile on its face. “If you wish to save the hostage, you must answer my riddle.”

“I accept. Tell me your riddle.”

“What-”

“A party,” Entropy answered immediately, a paper flapping in George’s hand that hadn’t been there a minute ago.

“How did you- Fine, one more riddle, then.”

“Go ahead.”

“How do you get out of a room that has no doors or windows? The only things you can use are a table and a mirror.” As she finished, the creature seemed relieved that the leather hat hadn’t taken the opportunity to interrupt her this time.

George snapped his fingers and a large black board materialized out of thin air. Taking a piece of chalk in his hand, he immediately put down a diagram of the room that the sphinx had described. Then, he started listing symbols off to the side whilst talking to Entropy all the while. The more he wrote, the wider the sphinx’ smile grew. At last, he placed the chalk on the board and snapped his fingers again, sending the board away to wherever he had conjured it from.

Taking a deep breath, George turned towards the sphinx and, after a pause that made Screwball lean forward in a chair she had conjured, he began to rattle off. “You look in the mirror to see what you saw. You take the saw and you cut the table into two halves, and as we all know two halves make a hole so you jump out the hole.”

“What- But- How did you- ARRRGGGGH” the sphinx shouted, jumping off the mountainside and towards a sea cliff below.

As it collided, the sphinx turned to sand and began to waft away on the wind. Not wasting a second, George leaned over the ledge and shouted to the fleeing riddler, “Jokes on you! I can’t marry my mom!” which drew an odd look from Screwball and the vast majority of the nearby wildlife. Meanwhile, Entropy only started chuckling.

“I’m not even sure Discord would have gotten that joke, George.”

“To Twilight Sparkle!” George shouted, ignoring his hat’s quip. With all due haste, he grabbed Screwball’s forelimb and broke into a flat footed run into the distance with her trailing behind.

After a few minutes of running, they came to a steep cliff, and George slowed down so Screwball could get her feet under her. With that done, the trio started their climb. Not wanting it to get boring on the climb up, Screwball decided to speak up.

“How did you know the answer to the sphinx’s riddle before she finished it, Entropy?”

“Ah yes, that’s right. George, if you would be so kind.”

“Right, almost forgot. Thanks, Screwb,” George said before pulling a paper from his pocket. After scribbling ‘a party’ on it, he snapped his fingers and the paper disappeared in a yellow flash.

“So you... told yourself?” Screwball asked, raising an eyebrow.

“Yes and no.”

“But why did you have to have Entropy read it?”

“Because I can’t read my own hand writing.”

“Whew, I thought that was just me! It’s good to know you have that problem, too.” Screwball’s hat began to spin and she took to the sky, flying towards the top of the cliff. Below, George paused and looked up. However, her excitement was cut short for a moment and she flew back down to his level again. “But then, how did you figure out the answer to the second riddle?”

“It was just basic math. Hardly a riddle at all, really.”

“Oh,” was all the filly said in return before flying out of sight at the top of climb.

As she disappeared from sight, George thought of something that froze him in his tracks. With a uncertainty building in his heart, he glanced slowly towards his talking hat. “Why didn’t I just teleport? This is stupid, walking all this way for no apparent reason...”

“I have no idea, George. The concept didn’t come to me until just now, either. Maybe we were too set on adventuring?”

“Huh,” George answered, following the accelerating filly as she appeared above for a moment before disappearing behind the rock once again. With a sigh, the man started up the mountain on foot once again. “May as well finish the way we started, then.”

After everyone had reached the top of the stone pillar, George looked around, trying to find Screwball and Twilight. In the meantime, a movement near the bottom of the nest caught his eye. Reaching down to brush aside the straw, it wasn’t long until a young sphinx lunged from its cover, fitting his entire arm into her mouth. George paused for a moment, looking at the creature. “Kinda cute, isn’t she, Entropy?”

“I guess you could say that.”

The creature let go of his arm, surprised by the talking hat as it was, and dove back into the dried hay of the nest. George flexed his muscle, happy to be free of the constriction, only to be tackled from behind.

Pushing off of the ground, he looked in the direction of his attackers and spotted Twilight in the grasp of Screwball, both of whom were flying recklessly through the air. Jumping to his feet, his eyes flashed with realization. “WAIT!”

Screwball froze and lowered Twilight into the sphinx nest once again. Both of the females looked toward George expectantly until he finally snapped his fingers, summoning the text he had been tapping with a pen earlier into his grasp. “Argh, how could I forget such an important thing?!”

“What’s the matter?” Twilight asked, slowly approaching the madman.

“I forgot to anger a god. This hasn’t even been an epic journey. Maybe if we did something to Celestia...”

“I can help with that!” Screwball said, spinning around in the air as she flew circles around the chaotic being.

“I know just what to do!” George said before turning to the flying earth pony. “Here’s what I want you to cast...” After whispering something to Screwball, he suddenly reached into his coat and pulled out an eight foot tall skeleton bearing a black afro.

“YOHOHOHOHO! I can’t believe my eyes. Oh, but, I don’t have eyes, because I’m a skeleton. SKULL JOKE!”

“PLAY US OUT, BROOOOOKE!” George shouted as he pointed to the odd creature, whom immediately broke out into a song on his violin.

“BINKUSU NO SAKE WO, TODOKE NI YUKU YO!...”

As they approached the castle, George was glancing around fitfully. He had taken care of all the time travel issues before he had gone about approaching Canterlot. His face was full of joy when he had returned from the trip through time, but it had swiftly shifted to fear and uncertainty about what would happen next.

So here he was now, watching for an angry alicorn that could harness the power of the sun if she willed it. A yellow flash encompassed the group and they all teleported directly in front of Celestia, whom was decorated with black asymmetrical spots on her normally white coat. To top it off, her rainbow pastel hair had taken the form of an afro, leaving George with the monumental task of NOT laughing at her.

“Can you say ‘afro circus’ for me, Celestia?” George asked, an impossibly wide smile covering his features.

“No.” The response was immediate and magic began to wrap around the man’s limbs. “And you’re gonna fix this, now,” she said before dragging him away with a look that could have freed Discord, and then put him back in stone again.

Realizing his fate, George let the magic drag him backward, only doing one thing to show he was still alive. “Cruella De Vil, Cruella De Vil. If she doesn’t scare you, no evil thing will.”

The chapter that wrote itself.

It was lunchtime and the trio of immortals had joined together for a shared meal. Luna and Celestia sat at the head of the table, stylized chairs indicating their normal sitting location. George, meanwhile, sat atop the table in front of the sisters, his legs crossed in front of him with his plate of food set before him and Entropy securely atop his head. Screwball was absent, having gone back home to spend some time with her parents. The latest conversation had just died down and it was time for Luna to come up with a topic to discuss.

“So, George, my sister and I have only you and Discord to judge humans by. And well... I’m not sure if you two were randomly chosen for elements of chaos --just two humans plucked out of the barrel, if you will-- or if you were picked for your chaotic tendencies.”

“I’m not sure either. It is an interesting question.” George snapped his fingers and his current plate of food was replaced with deep-fried ice cream.

“Yes, well, I was wondering if...” She hung onto the last word as she contemplated what she had been about to say.

“If, what?” The man stabbed one of the deep-fried balls with his fork and lifted it toward his mouth slowly, careful to make sure that it didn’t fall off. Because that would be just disastrous. Can you imagine?

“If you could summon one for us to interview,” Luna finished, her gaze steady with George’s own. The man looked back at her, his jaw chewing the large orb of fattening food. After what seemed like forever, the man swallowed and glanced to Celestia.

She nodded and the man smiled. “Sure, I’ll just need some order and some extra chaos; should be easy over, or sunny side up, if you prefer.”

Entropy was the first to comply and began to pour chaotic energy into the man until the red sparks began to dance at the edge of his finger tips. “Last time you used order magic, didn’t you end up completely without any form of energy at all?” Celestia asked, eyeing the man carefully.

“Yea, but that was because I cast a spell that created solid food and objects out of nothing, quite strenuous. This time, I’m just grabbing someone and dragging them across a few dimensions, maybe a multiverse or two, much simpler.”

“I’ll have to take your word on that,” Celestia said, her horn lighting up white, as opposed to its normal yellow, and before too long, her magic was also coursing through the man’s body. After a pair of snaps that sounded like duck quacks, the seat to George’s right began to glow slightly. Motes of light began to come in from all sides and collect at the chair. In a great flash of luminescence, a person looking somewhat similar to George appeared there.

His hands were on the air in front of him, as if he had been using a typewriter or something along those lines. Dark messy hair decorated his head and a pair of thick glasses rested on his nose. The man looked at the trio in shock, then behind him, then back to the trio again.

“I- I- I-” he began, stuttering as his eyes stared unbelievingly at the group in front of him, fear and confusion obvious on his face.

“Hello, human,” Celestia said in greeting, nodding her head to the biped. “May I have the pleasure of knowing your name?”

He blinked rapidly before calming. “I’m, uhh... you can call me... that is to say... N64Fan or ‘that guy’ if you prefer.” His gaze moved to George and a slight smile danced across his face. “You know, if you were anyone else, I would think that this was some medically induced dream, or me having finally gone completely insane.”

“Oh, you know George? That’s interesting...”

“Not directly, per se. I know of him, if you will.” The man began to scratch the back of his head, still slightly perturbed by what he was seeing. “Umm... anyway... I’m assuming I was called, summoned, and or teleported here for a reason?”

“Oh yes. My sister and I had some questions. If you don’t mind answering, that is,” Luna said while Celestia eyed the odd man with a steady gaze.

“Well...” The man looked at the watch on his wrist. The second hand was holding perfectly still, as if afraid to move, much like the man who looked at it. “I seem to have some time on my hands, so shoot. I might not be able to stay too long, though.”

“I’ll start, if you don’t mind,” Celestia said, receiving a nod from George and Luna. “I’ve been pondering as to the political machinations of your world, as George seems to enjoy the idea of controlled anarchy.” The immortal man placed his hand over his heart as if wounded and began to wilt backward.

“Well, we’re all kinda split off from one another. The lands are divided by large oceans and as such, we’ve collected into our own countries, each with different politics and policies. Emperors, kings, presidents, and yes, even anarchy in some cases. But despite it all, I like to think that we have a kind of, empathy for other people. Regardless of how different they look.”

“I see. That’s interesting.” Celestia nodded and began to munch idly on a sandwich while she contemplated the answer she had received.

“And what about the rebels? Have they destroyed the death star yet?”

“Many, many times.” N64Fan said with a slow nod.

“May I take the next one, George?” Luna seemed excited after the somewhat long answer the man had given her sister. Perhaps she would get an answer of her own that would sate her curiosity. George acknowledged her and Luna started her question. “I was wondering about the arts, and you, specifically, in regards to them.”

“Well, uhh...” The man was looking around the room a bit, sweat starting to form on his brow. “Well, it seems to me that we have quite the imagination. If you can dream it up, someone has probably drawn something similar to it. If not, then I can assure you that someone will. With the same applying to writing, and poems, and just about everything else.”

“And you, specifically?” Luna asked, nodding at his previous answer as well as towards him, asking him to continue.

The sweat began to quicken its production. “I write stories.”

“Oh, that’s interesting. An author. May I ask what kind of stories?”

“Ahahaha, haha, ha.” He coughed into his hand, his fake laugh dying out far more quickly than he would have liked. After a moment where he seemed to be rethinking his answer, he spoke up. “I write dark and comedic stories for the most part.”

“That’s an odd combination.”

“I like to think that I have a slight dissociative personality disorder,” the man said, a surprising amount of pride filling his statement, as if purposefully spitting in the face of the fact that ‘dissociative’ and ‘disorder’ are not usually words that inspire happiness and pride in their bearer.

“That sounds like something you should have a doctor look at. It seems like it could be quite serious. Is there a reason you haven’t had it looked at? Are there no hospitals where you live?”

“No, there are plenty, I assure you. I just kind of enjoy it.” He smiled and reached across the table to grab a celery stick off a plate before munching on it somewhat idly.

“Enjoy it?” Luna asked, curious as to what exactly he meant.

“Well, without it, I don’t think I’d be half the writer I am currently. Like fish slapping. Where would humanity be without fish slapping, hmm?”

“I... don’t... know?”

“Probably a lot less funny, that’s where.”

“I see. Interesting,” Luna said in understanding. Now that she thought about it, it made perfect sense, in the same way that George made perfect sense.

Slowly, N64Fan turned to face George, fear upon his now pale face at the prospect of what the unpredictable chaos god might ask of him. George returned the gaze, a malevolent grin upon his face as if to cause the man more stress, then asked his question. “On a scale of one to ten, what’s your favorite letter?”

“A square,” he said, reflecting on how he would have one of his characters answer the question.

“Ah, good choice, good choice.” George nodded and leaned back slightly, careful not to fall over from having nothing to rest on, and turned his gaze to the ceiling.

Silence fell, each of the trio thinking about the answers they had received from the man. “Well, if that’s all, I really should be-” A deep cough cut the guest off and he looked toward the leather hat atop George’s head.

“Aren’t you forgetting me?”

“O-occasionally, why do you ask?” the man said hurriedly. “That is to say, um... what is your question?”

“It’s a pretty simple question. I was just wondering if you were ever planning on doing anything with the Techno-Babble universe you created.” The evil grin of the hat seemed to widen as the man fell into a panic once again. Each of the immortals turned to watch the man as he started to stumble over his words and actions. He began to tap the table as he fought with various different emotions that ran through his body before finally deciding to ignore the question altogether.

“Oh, would you look at the time. I really should be going.” He glanced at his watch, which still hadn’t moved since his arrival. “Not to say that I haven’t enjoyed this. It’s been fun, I just really should get back.”

“Oh, of course. George, can you send him back, please?” Celestia said. “Thank you for your time, N64Fan.”

“Umm, before you do, one more thing.” Each of the immortals and the hat looked to him as he decided to ask something of one specific pony in the room.

“Yes?” the white alicorn asked, giving him the permission to continue.

“Celestia, can you promise me something?”

“If I can.”

“Can you promise not to get in a war with the zebras about coal and gemstones? Please? It’s just, something tells me that would end very badly and then stuff would be wonky and then... umm... death. Anyway, can you promise me that?”

“Of course.” Her kind smile decorated her face and the man felt much more at ease, despite the evil smiling hat still glaring holes into him.

“Thanks.” There was a flash of red light as the chaos magic triggered once again and the man disappeared, completely gone from the room as he was sent back to do whatever he had been doing before.

“Sister, do you have any idea what he was talking about?” Luna asked after the man had disappeared.

“I haven’t a clue, but I prefer to avoid wars at all cost. So, it should be an easy promise to keep.”

“Indeed,” Entropy said, breaking out into chuckles as something struck him as funny.

“What’s Entropy laughing about?” Luna inquired, looking at George.

“I have absolutely no idea. He says that when I take chaos magic from him, he can see into a universe that isn’t ours. But I think he’s just experiencing something similar to blood loss.” The hat broke into a laugh once again and George paused.

“Wait a minute. Entropy, I’m supposed to be the one who laughs maniacally, and then you are supposed to talk to everyone about what I find so funny. We can’t just switch roles like this. It will confuse people. Most specifically, me.”

“I’m sorry, George. I didn’t mean to. I’m a bit out of sorts right now. I don’t want to confuse you, as that might lead to an unnecessary Fallout between us.” The hat’s grin widened once more, but he managed to resist the urge to laugh at his own pun while the other three people in the room merely shrugged.

“It’s okay, buddy. I could never stay mad at you. After all, what’s a mad chaos god who can screw people over with a glare, without his talking magical hat that can stare into other dimensions?”

“Sheogorath?” the hat asked, the chuckles gone, but the humorous tone still hanging in the air.

“Oh, good one. Didn’t even think of that.”

Author's Note

My username used to be "N64Fan." So if you're completely lost, maybe that'll help. Probably not though, sorry about that.

Happy Holiday

Celestia still couldn’t comprehend how George had managed it. Not two minutes ago, she and her sister had been drinking tea when all of a sudden, they smelt sea air and realized they had been moved to a ship without them noticing. The man smiled back at the stunned duo. In place of Entropy, his head was decorated with a feathered tricorn and his moustache had been joined by a scraggly beard.

“Avast, Celestia. I be welcomin’ ye to me bonny beauty: Lollipop,” George said with a rough interpretation of a pirate accent, gesturing to the magnificent and large ship that she now stood on. Not waiting for her reply, he planted a similar hat to his own upon her head, bar the feather. And then gave Luna a paper sailor cap that looked like it had been made out of a map. “Now we be ready to set sail, lasses. First Mate Screwball! Hoist the anchor!”

“Aye aye, Captain George,” Screwball said as she pulled the anchor loose from the cloud it had been set on, somehow having kept the water bound vessel still despite its odd resting place. “We be ready ta set sail when’er you say, captain.” The filly was trying to copy the gruff tone the man spoke in, but was failing miserably. With a grin that would make the Cheshire Cat jealous, George snapped his fingers. A red coat made more out of buckles than cloth unraveled out of thin air and decorated the man’s shoulders while an oversized cutlass appeared in his hand, which he promptly pointed ahead of the ship.

“Set sail, ye lily-livered swabs!” he shouted at the top of his voice and the ship started to move despite the lack of anyone doing anything.

“George!” Celestia was mad; her tea had been interrupted for nothing but some play time on the man’s part. “I thought you weren’t like Discord. You can’t just cause chaos whenever you feel like you need it!”

“Aye, but it be not me who needed to belay work, Celestia,” he said, glancing back to her. Surprise lit upon her face as she noticed the skull and crossbones that now decorated his hat.

“Then who?” Her tantrum was still running, and after what he had pulled with her hair those few days ago...

“Ye be workin’ yerself too hard, Celestia. Now yer takin’ a day off. Whether you like it or not.” He looked at her pointedly before turning his attention back to the immense sea that spread out around the ship.

“But who’ll look after Equestria while Luna and I are gone?”

“Arrrr, Entropy don’ like the last talk like a pirate day I celebrated. He gets sea-sick real easy, the scallywag. He be keepin’ ground legs today and makin’ sure nothin’ goes ill. Elseways, he can always contact me should need be.”

“Contact you? How?” As she said this, a red parrot flew in from the starboard side of the ship, flapping against the ground to slow his descent until he was safely perched on George’s shoulder. After a few moments, it began to clean its feathers and George looked at it out of the corner of his eye.

“Well? What be the message, you flying feather-bed,” the man growled, causing the parrot to straighten.

“Brrraaack. How are you, Celestia? Hope George hasn’t driven you insane, yet. Brrrraaack”

“Good polly; have a cracker,” the man replied as he tossed a small treat to the bird. “Now tell him yer message back and he’ll take it back to Entropy.”

“I’m doing fine, Entropy. Thanks for taking over for me while George kidnaps us. We’ll see you by the end of the day, hopefully.” The bird took to the air, new message in mind, and disappeared into the distance.

After watching the feathered message service disappear behind a cloud, something finally clicked in the alicorn’s mind. “Did you say, ‘talk like a pirate day’?” she asked, looking to the man whose smile was back on his face.

“Aye!” he shouted loudly. “Raise the jolly roger!” He swung his cutlass through the air in front of him and a flag unfurled from the highest mast. Taking a moment to examine it herself, a smile slowly broke across the normally stiff face of the diarch. Upon the flag was the diarchy symbol: Luna and herself flying in circles with their appropriate time of the day behind them. However, behind that was a pair of crossbones, declaring them to be pirates.

Letting her gaze wander from the flag, Celestia spotted her sister, her hat having been refolded into a sword as she dueled with Screwball, whom had a saber of her own. Using her magic to straighten the hat on her own head, Celestia moved to the front of the ship and took a spot next to George. “If we’re going to be pirates, then I’m going to be co-captain with you. I wouldn’t trust you not to steer us into a whirlpool that teleports us to some underwater cavern inhabited by octopus-looking creatures that try and eat our faces.”

“Hey! That only happened once,” George said indignantly, losing his accent for a moment before he picked it back up. “And besides, me and Cthulhu be good friends, now.” Celestia put her hoof to her mouth to muffle her laugh before George shook his head. Placing his hands on his thighs, he leaned back and broke into an extremely loud laugh, followed shortly thereafter by Celestia herself, a smile on her face so wide it could have split the sun.

The other two joined in and before long, each of them found a pint of apple cider in their grasp, not knowing where it came from and caring even less as to their surroundings. So went the majority of the day, drinking on the good ship Lollipop and enjoying time spent in each other’s company. Eventually, the day began to wear down though, and George turned the ship around with a snap of his magic, setting course for Equestria once again.

The sun was setting behind the horizon when the joviality of the situation was broke. The capital had come into view a few moments earlier, but now, something more sinister had showed its ugly face. A pirate airship had come around from behind the mountain and was heading toward them, all cannons trained on the small sea-faring vessel.

The ripping sound of cannon fire filled the air and George snapped his fingers, teleporting the ship alongside the monstrous ship of his opponents. Celestia began to charge some magic, but George rested his hand on her back and handed her a sword, smiling all the while. “Ye can’t be defeatin’ me foes so easy, Celestia. There’s buckles need swashing on that ship, lass.”

Pulling his own cutlass from its sheath at his side, George charged onto the ship, swinging the blade recklessly with Luna and Screwball not far behind. After looking between their own small vessel and the large ship next to them in indecision for a moment, Celestia also joined the fray, her sword clutched tightly in her magic as she ran in. Despite the seriousness of the moment, she was smiling with joy. George didn’t think she had seen that they were a theatre troupe, and she was going to enjoy every second of it.

The battle was fierce, each member of the crew outnumbered at least five to one. In the heat of the battle, a blade struck Luna, leaving a bruise as the unsharpened steel bounced off her coat. The throbbing pain was just beginning to distract her when Screwball flew in and handed her a stick with several oranges skewered upon it. The lunar princess looked to the filly with an odd look. “Just eat the oranges, Luna. Everything will be ‘K.” Nodding to the departing pony, she devoured the oranges and watched with amazement as the bruise healed enough to prevent it from interfering with her actions.

Another blade swung toward Luna, but she was ready this time and deflected the steel with the impossibly strong paper sword she wielded. With as much strength as she could muster, she brought her saber back around and cut into the stallion’s jaw. He leapt back and dropped his sword as tears began to gather in his eyes. “Not a paper cut! Nooooooo!” he cried to the skies, cursing his luck.

By this time, the vast majority of Canterlot had gathered at the edge of town as the sound of steel colliding called them from their homes. While a sizable crowd stood at the edge of the town, someone spotted Celestia flying around the pirate ship, an eye patch decorating her face to hide a black eye she had received and didn’t have time to heal at the moment. Cheers broke out from the town and Celestia’s smile widened.

Eventually, the sound of fighting died down and the crowd grew silent. The smaller of the ships began to descend, revealing that the larger ship was being towed by it. The crowd didn’t have to wait long until it began to scrape across the stone ground of the city, the loud cracks and pops of splintering wood filling the air as the planks of the ship’s belly began to tear apart. The ponies darted away from of the crashing ship until, at last, it came to a halt.

After its forward movement had stopped, the citizens gathered eagerly along the sides, though the call of “Look out below!” caused a few of them to scatter away, making room for the sudden anchor that cracked a few stones as it landed. A few minutes later, the voice spoke again from the deck of the ship. “I’ll fix that later!” A long board extended from the side of the ship and George began to walk across it, swords pointed in his direction as he slowly made his way across it.

“No, Celestia, don’t! I didn’t even get to test the plank. What if something goes wrong?” George said his normal voice back in full, standing on the edge of the wood extension. A sword poked him in the rear and George took a scared jump off the end, falling a few feet before finding himself securely on the ground. He looked around for a moment before shouting over his shoulder, “Looks clear. Go ahead and disembark.”

The end of the plank dropped to the ground and the ponies slowly walked down the ramp to solid ground. George snapped his fingers and his pirate hat disappeared, Entropy taking its place. “I can’t believe you just did that, Celestia. A mutiny. I would never-”

“You would and have George; don’t act innocent. At least I didn’t use it as an opportunity for surprise flying lessons.”

“Well, you know... that was Discord’s idea.”

“Riiiight.”

“Ah, you’re back, then.” Entropy was looking towards his brim, beneath which hid George, whom the hat was unable to see. “How was your talk like a pirate day, then?”

“It was pretty good. Got kicked off my ship by some wenches, but other then that-”

“Hey!” Screwball sounded indignant. “I’m not a wrench.”

“No you aren’t, Screwb. Neither are you a wench. So allow me to fix my statement.” George coughed into his hand, then looked up at his hat. “Two wenches and a filly kicked me off my ship.”

“For shame, George. For shame.”

“I know. Jack-”

“Captain Jack!” came a voice from the crowd, interrupting the man.

“Captain Jack would be so disappointed in me,” he continued, as if nothing had happened.

“Right. Well,” Celestia flashed her horn, healing her black eye, and removed the eye patch. “It was fun, George. Can’t wait until next year,” the alicorn said before walking past him and toward the castle with a smile that displayed the joy running through her system.

“Yes, George, thank you. Celestia was starting to get devoured by her work. I think she really needed this. I, too, can’t wait for next year,” Luna said before following after her sister.

“Aye, next year.” His voice was low so that none could hear him except for Entropy, and the hat instantly recognized the tone of sadness in his voice, but opted not to ask for him to expound on it.

“George, you have to tell me the story for this adventure of yours so I can add it to my repertoire.” A smile spread across the man’s face once again, though his eyes still held some degree of sadness.

“I would be glad to, Entropy.”

Author's Note

Happy ‘talk like a pirate day’ everyone. September 19th for those who are wondering. Celebrate it well for me, since I’m a bit out of it right now.

That one filler chapter

“George!” A lavender mare ran through the castle. “GEORGE!” Beads of sweat forming on her brow. “Where are you?!” Oh, and she had a hat. “I could really use your help...” A hat that jingled, jangled, jingled as she ran. Her pace slowed as she came to a large door. Carefully, she placed her hoof upon it, chills running down her spine as she made contact. Desperation over powered her fear however, and she pushed the door open.

Bats flew past her face, eager to escape their confinement. She flinched and pulled away until the flying vermin had stopped moving. With a slow step, she approached the door once again, only to have a bat collide directly with her face. It grabbed tightly onto her muzzle, looking into her eyes with surprise for a moment before flying away. Twilight’s eyes followed the black creature until it disappeared around another hall.

Puzzled, Twilight entered the room. Her ears immediately caught the sound of an organ music playing in the distance of the inconceivably large room that was decorated with inconceivably old spiderwebs. “Inconceivable” was the only thought that moved through Twilight’s inconceivably calm mind. “Completely inconceivable.”

“You’re using that word a lot. I don’t think it means what you think it means...” It was another voice. A voice in HER HEAD. Convinced that George’s antics had finally driven her mad, the unicorn approached the organ’s sounds. She was still on a mission after all, a mission that only the bottled chaos of George could help her with.

As she reached the instrument, she became aware that the being in front of it wasn’t George. Rather, it was Screwball, though her fur seemed quite a few shades brighter than she remembered it. “Screwb. Hey Screwb. Do you know where George is? I need to talk to him.” At the sound of her words, a pair of bat wings snapped open from the chaotic pony’s back, bat wings that hadn’t been there moments earlier.

~~Inconceivably~~ Really slowly, the mare turned around to face Twilight. As her face came into view, Twilight let loose an uncontrollable gasp. She looked completely different from how she remembered her, from her contracted irises, to her pure white face. “Master George will be here soon, and then we can be together forever, Twilight. Won’t that be just wonderful? Together forever.” Her voice was shaky and followed by a dark echo, causing fear to shoot through the unicorn’s body.

A gust of wind sounded behind her and Twilight turned around. Her eyes met a pair of red corneas and she found herself frozen in place. “Hello, my pretty mare. Come to join the everlasting family, have we?” He slunk slowly towards her. It was George, there was no doubt about that. He lacked any form of facial hair and Entropy was nowhere to be seen, but it was definitely George.

A dark grin split the man’s face for a moment before he started to lean forward and open his mouth, his sharp canines minutes away from piercing her flesh. Then, an explosion shook the room, debris breaking free from the roof. George was sent tumbling backwards as the form of Shining Armor came from the dust, a paragon of good in all its glory. “You shan’t feast on another pony’s blood, you fiend!” The captain drew his sword and took up a fighting stance.

“Shining Armor Belmont,” George said, a scowl on his face. “What are you ponies except miserable piles of friendship? But enough talk! Have at you!” George drew his own sword and lunged. A sword fight commenced, metal ringing against metal as both combatants fought for victory. Eventually, George managed a disarming maneuver and grinned as he pressed the length of his blade against the stallion’s neck.

With a grin of his own, Shining Armor’s horn flashed and blinded the man, causing him to stumble backwards, directly into the sunlight leaking through the hole that had been formed by the explosion. As he stepped into it, he let loose an unearthly scream. The captain of the guard let loose a cry of joy, but it caught in his throat when he saw the smile on George’s face.

“Did you think this would turn me to ash? No, you fool. For you see...” He extended his arms to the side. “Vampires...” Something odd occurred as the light danced irregularly over his flesh. “SPARKLE!” A blinding beam of light hit the stallion. By the time he had recovered, a blade was being swung through the air much faster than he could cast magic.

The blade halted just above his neck and Shining Armor looked up to see the reason for his salvation: the metal had impaled another. George’s eyes were wide in shock as he pulled the sword out of his unintentional victim, whom had been skewered directly through the heart with the silver weapon. “Screwball.” Tears would have formed were it not for his undead nature. “Screwball, why?”

“So you can have another chance.” She whispered through her muzzle. “Please, try and live in peace with them now that I’m gone.” Her breath faded and she collapsed. The man grabbed her dead body and brought to his face, coughing dryly as his body fought to release saltwater he no longer had.

“I’ll do it, but only for you, Screwball. Not for them; only for you.”

And then the lights dimmed and the curtain closed, each of the audience members fighting their emotions as they broke into frabjous applause. Behind the curtain, each of the thespians went about the finishings of their work. George lifted the, lively as ever, Screwball from the ground and the two shared a hug before they went backstage to clean up.

As they moved to the rooms provided, George was stopped by Twilight. “That was amazing! Everything went as planned!”

“Almost everything,” George said before looking to a particular location. “TYRONE!” he called, a bat emerging from its hiding place to come hang upside down from the man’s finger, the same bat that had hit Twilight when she tried to enter for the second time. “Get your crap together, Tyrone, okay? No more screw ups like that.” The bat nodded and the man let it fly away.

“Still, that was genius,” Twilight insisted. “Where did you get the idea for it, though?”

“Oh, here and there. You know.”

“I don’t suppose you based it off that old story? The one where Star Swirl goes to rescue a mind-controlled Clover the Clever?”

“Yes, I suppose that may have leaked into it.” The man’s grin faltered for a moment, though neither Screwball, nor Twilight, noticed. He coughed to clear his throat and his mind before he continued. “Nice idea with the spell. It’s much easier to say Screwball and have the audience hear Clover. Makes it easier to immerse in.” George wiped the white makeup from his face with a sleeve and left Twilight as he went to switch back into his normal clothes. Just as he had finished, the loud booming voice of Entropy shook the room.

“They are asking for a bow, fillies and gentlecolts. I recommend indulging them.”

“And Entropy was the best announcer ever,” George said with a grin before making his way back to front stage. Once all the other actors had gathered, the man snapped his fingers, simultaneously teleporting his hat to his head as well as splitting the red curtains. More cheers filled the air and George smiled widely as he bowed.

After that was done, he met up with Screwball once more and the duo left. He had promised to show her how to stow some of her magic away in unlikely places, much like his interaction with Entropy, though storing it in something living required that the being in question wanted to give it back to you.

As they walked through the castle, Screwball caught a glimpse of George flipping open a pocket watch. Stealthily, she flew up behind him and looked at the timepiece. She was slightly confused by the large amount of numbers on its face until one of the arms changed its position, shifting counter-clockwise. It was counting down, but to what?

She hardly had time to ponder that before he closed the device and smiled at her, letting her catch a glimpse of the front before he put it away. ‘Finem Facere Mundo’ was inscribed on it. “Let’s get going then, shall we?” She decided not to question the man. He was far older than her, after all; surely, he was wiser as well. So instead, she smiled in response and they teleported away, both of them eager to work on her lessons.

Author's Note

Yea, a chapter. Woo hoo. Cheers. Roll on snare drum. Curtains. My time is being sucked up by the chapter reworks, but I would hate to miss a holiday.

In(ter)vention

George stood in front of a large open field. It had taken some tricky paperwork, but with Entropy’s help and some chaos-infused apples, it wasn’t too hard to clear aside all other appointments the guards had scheduled for it. Anxiously, he flipped open his pocket watch and checked it once again, then snapped it closed before Entropy could see it. “Well, lets get started, then. You said you had some people in mind for me to train against?”

“Ah, yes. I do. May I ask as to why you have a sudden interest in fighting strong opponents? Out of nowhere, I might add. I wake up this morning to see you working feverishly over booking the entire training grounds.”

“It never hurts to be prepared, does it? Now, tell me the name of my first opponent. I’ll use that name and your magic to summon them.”

Entropy didn’t talk immediately; he seemed lost in thought.

“Entropy?”

“I’ll give you a name if you tell me what’s gotten you so scared. Or, I could tell you to summon Kenpachi. I’m sure you would have fun with that.” A panic-stricken look crossed George’s face and his mouth began to flap open and closed like a fish.

“I... They’re...” The man sighed. “Balancers.” George let his head rest against his chest.

“Balancers? What do you mean?”

“That’s all I can say.” His voice was like a puddle of obsidian, shallow and dark. “They cursed me, so I can’t talk about them too much.”

“Well, surely, you can just break—”

“No, I can’t. It’s woven into my soul and body. If I tried to break it, it would kill me.”

“Woven into your body? That would take HUGE amounts of—” Entropy paused. As his brow furrowed, he realized why George was so anxious to strengthen himself. The amount of magic it took to weave a curse into a body, let alone a soul... If they were in fact coming, then George would need all the strength he could muster. “Mary Sue.”

“Hmm?”

“That’s your first opponent. Mary Sue.”

“Thank you, Entropy.” George extended his hands to either side. After a moment, he began moving them through the air, scrying. He didn’t have to do it with the human summon because he hadn’t been looking for one specific human, but now he had to focus. Each name had a unique piece of magic tied to it and when you spoke a name, it would always be tied to the person or thing you had been thinking about when you had said it. That’s what he was looking for now, the specific owner Entropy had in mind.

After he found the name’s bearer, he snapped his fingers, summoning her across the dimensions to sit in front of him. When she arrived, she looked... bored... and very red and black theme–oriented... and an alicorn. “Summoning me to save another world? I suppose I have some free time. Where’s the trouble.”

George didn’t answer for a moment as he looked up at his hat which had started to cough-chuckle. With a polite, drawn out cough, it ended, though a smile still covered his face. “I assure you, she is very strong; it will be a very nice fight.”

The man rolled his eyes at his headgear and approached the alicorn, whom was now standing. Casually, he wrapped his arm around her neck and leaned on her slightly. She was quite solid. “Hello. I was wondering if you had a few moments to spar with me?”

“Well, I suppose so. But you could just send me in the direction of the evil, I’ll take them out lickety-split,” The alicorn said, pulling away from George, whom still appeared to be leaning on her, despite her absence.

“Well, they aren’t here yet, unfortunately.”

“Ah, I see.” She pressed her hoof against her lower lip, lost in thought. “I guess I’ll help you practice. I don’t hold back though, so you watch out.”

“Thank you.” George tipped his head and walked away, his measured steps taking him a few feet away from the alicorn. “Are you ready?” She nodded. Before she could lift her head from her nod, she was looking down a missile the man had fired. It crashed against her skull, covering her in smoke. Predictably, she walked from the impact without a scratch.

“Oh,” George said in realization as she charged a beam of energy. “You’re THAT Mary Sue.” She cast her magic and the man dived to the side to avoid the shot. It collided with the ground behind him and left a crater in the dirt. “Well, I’d hate to beat you without telling you who I am.” With a snap of his fingers, George was behind Mary.

“Brother of Discord. Nice to meet you.”

“Brother of Discord?!” Rage began to bubble through her voice like molten lava through stone. “Discord is evil. You brought me here to be rid of me? Didn’t you?” Strings of green wisps came from her eyes of small orbs or dark magic coalesced around her horn.

“Sure, why not. What are you going to do about it?” George grinned malevolently. The alicorn shot a bolt of dark magic through the air, evaporating the moisture from the sheer heat. George easily dodged and teleported to the other side of the arena. In her rage, the alicorn cast the spell again.

George snapped his fingers again. This time, he didn’t dodge. Instead, a large mirror formed in front of him, upon which he braced his hands, chaos magic flowing from them into the massive reflection. “Mirror, mirror, on the ground, can you hear that vic’try sound?” The bolt hit, but was deflected. Mary attempted to dodge, but found her hooves trapped in quicksand. The bolt collided with Mary, ripping her from her sandy prison and sending her backwards as her magic was sapped from her being.

After the collision, the man approached her crumpled form. “You a’right?” he called as he stepped closer.

“S-stay away from me,” she said, though it was clear she wouldn’t be able to do anything about it. He continued his path until he stood next to her. With a snap of his fingers, he summoned a chair, which caused the mare to flinch in anticipation for her end. Sitting in the chair, George reclined next to his opponent.

“No one was supposed to beat me,” she managed, unsure what her opponent was waiting for.

“Aye. I couldn’t beat you in a fair fight.” George snapped his fingers again and placed a package of wafers in front of the alicorn. “Good thing I’m chaotic. Even then, I still needed you to beat yourself.”

“But I had stronger motives. How did I lose?”

“Chaos only comes into play when order is searched for. And chaos always wins. You know why?” He glanced to the alicorn with a grin on his face. When she shook her head, he answered, “It’s better organized.”

Mary slowly took a nibble of one of the wafers. “Thanks for these, but I thought chaos magic couldn’t feed anyone besides other chaos users.” It was obvious she wanted to change the subject, so George obliged.

“Good thing you’re a bloody alicorn with access to every kind of magic under the six suns of mana then, huh?” She smiled slightly and George smiled back. “You’re magic should be coming back now. I’m sorry we have to part now though, but hey, maybe sometime, Entropy can introduce you to Screwball.” He placed his fingers together and was about to snap when he stopped himself. “Oh, and by the way, Dark Magic is soooo ten centuries ago.” With that said, he teleported her back and reclined more in his chair.

“Who’s next then, Entropy?”

“A man by the name of ‘Inventor’.”

“Inventor? That’s an odd name.”

“Yes, what was he thinking.”

“Right, let’s do this then.” George stood out of his chair and dismissed it. He looked to the side and realized the wafers had stayed behind. With a shake of his head, he sent them to the Mary Sue alicorn.

“How’s your magic level, George?”

“I’m fine. I’m fine,” he said dismissively as he held his hands to either side and began to scry again. Eventually, he found the magic signature and, instead of snapping, clapped his hands together. When he pulled his appendages apart, two beings materialized into the air in front of him, each looking like a copy of the other.

Both of them looked at the oddly dressed biped in front of them before they looked at each other. One began shouting loudly, while the other started examining his doppelganger in silence. The silent one rolled up on of his sleeves and revealed a mechanical arm under his clothing. The other did the same, both of them sharing a confused glance, before looking towards George.

George, in turn, shrugged and pointed at his hat. “Hello, gentleman!” Entropy called excitedly. “You—” He faced the more composed of the duo. “—will be known as Inventor Vintage. And you—” He looked towards the other one. “—will be known as Inventor 2.0”

Each of them shared a glance before looking once again at George. “Don’t even ask me; I have no idea. I was only trying to summon one of you and I got a potent duo. I was hoping you wouldn’t mind helping me train, so I can be prepared for the fight of my life in a few days.” 2.0 seemed excited to do so, while Vintage glanced around for a moment. “It’s for the good of the world. I promise.”

“All right, then,” Vintage said with a nod. “I’d be happy to help, especially since it will allow me to see what the alternate version of me is like. Got to love a good research moment, I suppose.”

“Aye, it will help me see what killed my fun in another world.”

“I think you know very well what killed the fun. There is a large difference between maturity and naivety, as we can see now.” Vintage narrowed his eyes at his alternate form.

“Yea, one acts like a depressed psychosomatic maniac all the time and the other knows the saying ‘que sera sera’.”

“OH, SHUT UP AND FIGHT ME!” George shouted, pulling a pair of pistols from his cloak and firing two bullets at his opponents. Each instinctively brought their mechanical arms up and blocked the shot. Then, they charged him, 2.0 taking a lead. He swung his arm to connect with the midsection of his opponent.

George hopped slightly, landing on the outstretched arm. He aimed the gun at 2.0’s head, but was knocked aside as a fist collided with his face, sending him tumbling a fair distance away. When he stopped, the man stood and rubbed his chin, facing his opponents. Vintage had pressed an orb into 2.0’s hand, then began firing at the chaos user using an automatic gun hidden inside his arm.

Snapping his fingers, George brought up a turret with a shield to protect him from the low caliber bullets being fired at him. “I AM BULLET PROOOOF!” he shouted. Taking aim, George began firing at the duo as 5mm rounds filled the air from his minigun. They both dodged in separate directions and ran around to the man. 2.0 jumped the shield completely and brought his fist to bear as he swung at the man. Meanwhile, Vintage connected a punch with the turret and put it permanently out of order.

Cursing, George teleported a short distance away and pulled out a large gun with energy coursing over it. “EMP CANNON!” shouted 2.0, and the duo split again. With a grin on his face, George waited until they were approaching him again, then stowed the gun. 2.0 was first to arrive, as usual, and George quickly grabbed his fist. Spinning quickly to his right, he redirected 2.0’s punch into Vintage.

The collision was loud and sent both the fighters away. When they stood from the ground once again, George inhaled deeply through his lungs to fight off fatigue. “You have got to be kidding me. You’re both still conscious after that?” His gaze moved to the orb Vintage had handed 2.0 at the start and saw it glowing.

“It repairs body structure. I remember reading about it once,” Entropy said from atop George’s head.

“Of course it does. Freakin heck.” The two Inventors looked at each other, as if to affirm a decision, then nodded. George prepared for an attack, but one didn’t come.

“We surrender!” 2.0 shouted from his position at the other end of the field.

Shocked silence echoed, somehow. “What? Why?”

Neither answered until they had closed some of the distance between them. “We can’t fight as a team, not in so little time. You would be able to perform that attack again and again and we wouldn’t be able to do anything until we were so worn down it wouldn’t matter. So, we concede,” Vintage said.

“But, if you’re planning on facing a team of any kind, you’ll need to rely on something else to get you through it besides using one against the other. We may be similar, but in the end, we hindered each other more than helped.”

“I see. I’ll have to think about this. Thank you,” George said with a smile.

“Anytime,” 2.0 quickly responded.

“Maybe for him, but not for me. I have children I need to take care of back home,” Vintage responded.

“You have kids?” Hope reflected across 2.0’s eyes.

“Adopted,” came the quick response. The hope died and 2.0 looked at the ground.

“Well, you guys ready to head back?” George asked, holding his hands out to the sides. A simultaneous nod greeted him and George clapped his hands once again, sending them back to their respective dimensions.

“That was intriguing. I always wondered how those two would act if they met each other.”

“Yeah, glad you decided, ‘Hey, let’s split some dimensional peers from their worlds so they can meet each other.’ Nice job, Entropy.”

The hat didn’t speak as George set off back towards the castle. They were short battles, but had worn him out. “Are you all right, George? You seem a bit on ed—” Realizing he had forgotten why the man had been training, the hat quickly shut his mouth, letting the uneasy silence take over again.

Upon arrival back in the room Celestia had gave him, George doffed Entropy and placed him on the nearby stool. As the hat drifted to sleep, George looked once more at his watch. “Two days to D-Day,” he said softly before he climbed into bed and fell asleep, still fully dressed.

In conclusion,

The royal princesses prided themselves utmostly on one thing: their understanding of magic. It took them three hundred years of shared study to fully understand everything Order magic had to offer, and it had turned out to be surprisingly simple, like a rubix cube when you’ve figured out the tricks. After that, they had decided to turn their attention towards Chaos magic. George had willingly helped them, with Discord offering what little he could before he turned, but they had found themselves unable to discover the truth behind how it worked.

Then, a year after George had left, Luna had an epiphany: Chaos magic was exactly that. It was essentially raw and wild magic that could be bent to the user’s will if they were attuned to it enough. They had then performed experiments to discover why they were unable to cast or control chaos magic. After all had been said and done, they were lead to an unexpected discovery: their horns, and those of unicorns, would automatically turn the raw magic into Order magic. This was done as an act of self defense they had evolved, as Chaos magic usually had negative effects on any who used it.

Then, somewhat begrudgingly, they had turned their attention to the final form of magic: Harmonic. Harmonic magic could only be cast by those whom it had chosen, or those who wielded artifacts that had been enchanted by it. The reason why the pair didn’t want to study it, though, was simple enough. The ones they had seen use Harmonic magic considered themselves superior because of it. George had been angered by one of the more blessed wielders before and found himself quickly defeated. It was the strongest and purest form of magic, and it was almost impossible to stop.

The knowledge of the only two known wielders who used it were shared by four other beings. Discord and George had not been the only beings brought to the world, though at least the two humans had gone about it in a light hearted way. The Harmony users, on the other hand, were ruthless. Those two strict beings had been the crafters of the Elements when Discord was corrupted, and it had been them who had forced Celestia to send a tainted and confused Luna to the moon, threatening to do it themselves if she did not.

So, as Celestia sat on her throne next to Luna, there was fear in both their eyes when they felt the magical disturbance signalling something they had come to associate with pain and loss. Tears began to form from the memories alone and they quickly bolted from the room, both to avoid their subjects seeing them being emotionally harmed, and to find George. The princesses shared a glance as they ran down the halls towards George's room.

"We need to get the elements." Celestia said, eyeing her sister. "It's the only magic that even compares to their own."

"Will they work on their own creators?" Luna's feet beat faster as they headed towards George's room.

"We have to try something!" Celestia stated after rounding a corner and the door to George's room appeared

The door burst open from a blast of Order magic and they entered immediately. George was nowhere to be seen. On a stool nearby, Entropy rested, a sleeping Screwball on the ground next to him.

“Where is George?” Luna asked immediately. Entropy’s eyes opened and he frowned broadly.

“I should have known he wasn’t going to tell you.” Entropy sighed then; the sound of exasperation echoing lightly around the room while Screwball nodded, naively napping; as so softly came a tapping, a tapping on the chamber floor.

“What do you mean?” Celestia was hitting her gold shoes against the floor in anxiousness, a habit she hadn’t been subject to in a while. “You mean George said that he was going to tell us 'they' were coming?”

“Yes. I have no idea who ‘they’ are, but he seemed quite intent not to tell anyone about their coming. Though, according to him, that was because he was physically unable to. He said he knew a way around the spell when I questioned him about it before he left, but when I asked what it was, he didn’t respond. Now though, now that you are here, I would like an explanation. Who are these balancers George seems frightened to death of?” He glanced down towards Screwball, whose eyes were beginning to open. The sleep spell George had put on her was wearing off early.

“A spell to prevent him from talking about them? That doesn’t sound right. They were far too prideful to do something like that. If such a spell exists on him, it would be because he cast it himself. Which, assuming they affected him as much as they did me, is reasonable enough,” Celestia said, dropping her gaze to the ground.

“They,” Luna began to explain, “are Evenry and Balcon. One female, the other male. They are the avatars of Harmony, the final duo to cover all three magics.” Rage grew in Luna’s eyes. “And they are the one’s responsible for my banishment and Discord’s petrification. They deemed it necessary and refused to believe either of us could be saved. Of course, shutting us away in our own minds for one thousand years didn’t help the issue. Celestia tired herself night and day to remove the seal that bound me, and it seems Discord had the same idea. Harmony is supposed to shut down magic, but Discord never did play by the rules.” The midnight princess faced Entropy, panic and worry on her face. “Did George tell you to tell us anything?”

“He didn’t tell me anything, no, but when he was leaving, he said he was going to tell you two things. First, that they were coming. Second,” Entropy paused, his eyes narrowing as he suddenly realized the importance of what he was about to say, "don't get the elements.”

George reclined in the lawn chair, his hair blowing slightly in the wind. Grasped loosely in his hand was a glass bottle labelled ‘Nuka-Cola’. A stronger breeze shot through the labyrinth and he spared a moment to look at the nearby statue of his brother before turning his gaze to face two beings whom had suddenly appeared, seemingly out of nowhere. They floated lightly in the air, a soft white glow coming from their skin.

“Looks like I will never achieve my goal of the perfect Nuka break,” he said idly, leaning forward to show his new interest in the arrivals. Pleasant memories of them floated through his head: the first few days they had been together.

*Annoyingly placed flashback*

“So...” the feminine sounding ball of light began, “you mean we’ve been summoned against our will to balance this world?” She hovered a few feet off the ground without form or substance. Next to her floated another orb of luminescence that had been identified as her brother. Gathered around them were four other beings: two humans, both male; and two alicorns, both female. Each of the pairs were recognized as siblings.

“That’s what it seems like,” the younger of the humans said, a grim look on his face. A frown remained his expression until he looked to his older brother, whom had began messing with the blue alicorn. Luna, in turn, happily began to mess with Discord as well. Then, a hesitant smile slowly split his sadness. “But at least the forces that be were kind enough to keep us together.” Discord had managed to keep his child-like qualities as he aged, but George had grown exceedingly more mature at a very young age.

“No, you don’t understand. We need to get back! Our clan is on the brink of disaster; we’re their only hope!” the masculine orb said. “If we don’t go back, they will most certainly die! Why did it even pick us? They are others better than us it could have chosen. We need to get back.”

“Oh, I see.” The white alicorn paused for a moment, thinking over what to do. Eventually, she nodded with absolutely surety. “Then we’ll do everything we can to get you back.”

She had stuck to her words, too. Everyone worked with magic days on end until they had figured out how to help them get back. This had been the original practice with mixing magics. Some attempts had been exceedingly successful, others had put them weeks behind their intended goal. Throughout it all though, they had come to know each other more and more as friends.

Among the discoveries made were that Discord and Luna had a crush on each other, the balls of light had surprisingly cheerful personalities, and that George and Celestia hated each other with all the burning fury of the brightest star, if their arguments were anything to go by.

Eventually, though, they had managed to get the spell. It required the pure magic of Chaos and Harmony to work, meaning the alicorns had to leave the room to avoid contaminating the spell. Celestia had worried that, without them there, it would go awry, but it hadn’t. Instead, it had gone horribly, horribly right.The spell had created a portal, had shown them the fate of the clan, in addition to allowing for the two users of Harmony to go through should they want to.

When they left the room, all four of them, no one would tell Celestia or Luna what they had seen. George specifically had avoided the question. The decision they had made affected everyone though. The two previously cheerful balls of light had shifted emotions immediately, their personalities skewed by what they had witnessed. In addition, George had no doubt, it had been what had eventually driven Discord mad.

*End of annoyingly placed flashback*

“I see you are still using a human form; that’s nice,” George said with a grin. He snapped his fingers and his Nuka-Cola was replaced with a cup holding chocolate milk and a straw. “I assume you merely like the idea of moving your fingers, then? Or is there a different reason?” he asked before sipping loudly. All the while, his eyes remained on the duo.

“We like the dexterity,” came a deep voice. The pair had started to lower and George’s eyes followed them as he continued to speedily drink down the milk. “It is very good for traveling, as we can carry things without using our magic to do so.” Their feet touched the ground and the glow disappeared from them immediately. The pair both looked at George expectantly, waiting for the line all three of them knew was coming.

“So, how’s life?” That was not the question they wanted, and their responses showed it immediately. “I’m just joshin ya.” George smiled widely, the straw held between his top and bottom sets of teeth. Releasing his clenched teeth from the straw, he leaned back once again, flipping his shades down as he did so. “Why are you guys here? Come to take me away, haha? Come to take me away, hoho? Hehe, haha, to the funny farm, where everything is beautiful all the time?”

“We have come to renew the seal on Discord,” they responded, approaching slowly.

“Well, you’re a bit late then, aren’t you? The elements have already been cast and he is imprisoned in stone once again, as you can see.” George nodded his head toward the large statuette resting nearby. “Best decoration around.”

“We are not late,” the feminine voice of Evenry replied. “We are early.” She stopped moving, her brother’s movements stopping as well, not missing a beat. “We know that you, George, are giving him magic to free himself and have come to stop you.” As soon as she finished, the stone shattered.

The full form of Discord stood from the stone debris and dust filling the air. His snake like torso danced back and forth, the sounds of popping bones echoing from his back as he did so.

“Phenomenal Cosmic Power!” George chimed in immediately afterwards. “Itty bitty living space.”

“George!” Discord shouted, running forward and wrapping his arms around him. “Thanks, buddy. Couldn’t have done it without you.” As he pulled out of the hug, George was left with a large black ring circling his shoulders, having been left there by Discord’s arms.

“This isn’t going to wash out, is it?” George asked pointlessly, already knowing the answer. Discord’s head shook back and forth and George sighed. “You don’t even remember who I am, do you?” Again, slightly hesitantly, the being shook his head. He had merely remembered the name from when the other people had said it a few minutes ago. “Of course not,” came the exasperated response.

“Should I?” Discord inquired. After all, he must have been someone important if he had rescued him from the binding. George ignored the question and pointed towards the two beings.

“What about them? Do you remember them?” Discord scratched his head, as if remembering something, but eventually merely shrugged. George face palmed. He had hoped his brother would at least remember the people who had put him in his cage; that had proven to be too hopeful a goal.

“Do you see now? He must be turned to stone. He can’t remember anyone and he is a danger to everyone. Will you let us capture him again?”

“Well...” George snapped his fingers, two drinks appeared in front of both him and Discord, these held in their unique tea cups. Discord sipped his and smiled at the flavor he received. It reminded him of something, a happier time, but the memory was far too old to be completely remembered. “The only reason he can’t remember is because he’s been trapped in stone for one thousand years while his chaos magic screwed with his brain.” George drank a bit as well. “So, given that you were the ones who did it.... No, can’t say I will.”

Discord took another sip and his smile changed. “Hey, joke tea! My favorite.”

“Actually, this is varia-tea,” George explained. “It’s like joke tea, but if you decide you really want a certain flavor, that’s the flavor you’ll get. I hope you don’t mind me messing with your classic drink, Josh.”

“Josh?” Discord asked. George shook his head and Discord let the name slide off his tongue. It felt familiar.

The pair of harmonic users coughed politely, catching the attention of George and Discord. “Then, since the both of you have proven unruly, we have no choice but to capture the pair of you. Do you understand?”

“Not particularly. Who are you and what gives you the right to judge me?” Discord said, offended.

“We are Evenry and Balcon, the users of Harmony. We are the ones who crafted the Elements, and we are the ones who turned you to stone. And we are going to do it again,” the male explained patiently.

“Oh.” Discord’s voice was dark and cold. It seemed to shatter reality as he spoke. George, meanwhile, reclined farther in his chair and took another sip of his tea. “So it was you!” Lighting shot down from the sky, striking at the Harmonic users, only to be caught in the hand of Evenry, turned into a ball, and thrown at Discord. Discord opened his mouth, eating the lightning whole, and smiled.

“George!” a familiar voice echoed through the air. Glancing up, George saw both Celestia and Luna approaching quickly. Behind them, Screwball hovered along with her propeller cap, holding Entropy in a hug as it was the only way she could carry him without covering up her own hat.

“Oh, hey!” Discord, who had heard the approaching ponies as well, exclaimed. “It’s Screwball; I remember her. She was fun.”

The young pony in question halted her flight and froze, staring at Discord with what can only be described as the full force of her PTSD. Her limbs twitched in response, nearly causing her to drop Entropy. Celestia and Luna also paused at the sight of Discord being up and at it again, suddenly realizing why George hadn't wanted the elements nearby.

As they stopped, a ball of white magic came from the harmonic users and entered into the ground. Following the act, a semi-transparent pillar of light shot into the air around the area, preventing anyone from entering or exiting. George looked towards them, about to ask why they had done so, but was interrupted as Evenry lunged for his throat with a blade in her hand.

George teleported away on instinct, joined shortly by Discord avoiding his own assault. The man frowned for a moment; they had never been the ones for direct assaults. Regardless, it was a battle now, and that meant he needed to treat it like one.

“All right,” George said, turning to Discord. “Here are the rules for the battle: you can’t throw fish. Got it?” A broad smile on his face, Discord nodded.

“It will be quite the handicap, but I think I’ll be able to make due.” Simultaneously, they snapped their fingers. George was wielding a long swordfish with an extremely sharp nose. Discord, on the other hand, carried a bazooka. Without wasting time, Discord began firing explosives at Balcon, whom had swapped to a pair of guns instead of a sword. Evenry, meanwhile, charged at George, which he easily blocked with his fish blade.

“Engarde,” came the voice of Evenry, ready to start the fight. The voice was a surprise to George; last time they fought, she hadn’t spoken at all. Quick as ever though, George had prepared a quick witted piece of purely golden wordplay.

“Off guard.” George spun around with a flourish, brandishing his fish. He swung strongly, but his attack was blocked. With a quick hand movement from Evenry, the aquatic blade was disposed of, the nose digging deeply into the dirt. Looking across to Discord, he saw the draconequus also in a similar predicament. With a nod, he teleported on top of the hedges nearby where Discord joined him.

“We should totally have this; remember that club where we went to learn how to fight?” Discord asked.

“Shhh. We’re not supposed to talk about it, remember? Rules one and two.”

A smile broke out across Discord’s face. “Oh, it’s so good to have someone who understands those references.”

“I know that feeling bro.” Discord’s face froze at the last word, but he quickly shook it off, just as bullets burst from Balcon’s guns, tearing through the air as if driven by a bloodlust unknown to any living being. With as much force as the brothers could gather, they jumped high into the air, managing to dodge the attack. George smiled, windmilling his arms once before shouting to the sky, “Pipe Hitch Knives!” Discord started laughing as ropes came out of both of George’s sleeves with knives tied into them. Balcon dodged to the side, the blades catching in the ground where he had stood only moments before. George frowned in disappointment and got rid of the ropes.

While they were still hanging helplessly in the open air, Evenry jumped into the air with amazing speed. Hoping to catch Discord by surprise, she swung her sword up, trying to cut him across the chest. She managed to nick him, but with a mid-air jump, he managed to avoid further harm. He quickly pumped his legs and jumped again in mid-air. One of his lion talons extended from his paw as he shot towards his target with sudden speed.

“Shigan!” he shouted loudly. With no way to escape, Evenry received a talon through the shoulder, digging deeply into her muscles. With her free hand, she shoved against the serpentine being, only to have him smile and retract the claw, leaving Evenry to fall helplessly towards the ground. Balcon caught her and healed her before she hit though, leaving the battle the same way it had been moments before.

Meanwhile, outside the barrier, Screwball looked towards Luna and Celestia with a confused expression. “How are they casting magic without snapping their fingers? Don’t they need to channel it? George told me I was a special case, and that him and Discord used their fingers for outlets while I could use my hat.”

“They never actually do channel their magic. If I remember George correctly, it became a habit to make them look cool. Discord insisted it helped him focus the magic, but I’m not sure what conclusions George came to in his absence.”

“Oh.... That’s odd.”

“That’s George and Discord. Odd,” Entropy said from his position in between Screwball’s front legs. Realizing the hat was still clasped between her hooves, she let go and allowing him fall the short distance to the ground where he was able to watch the battle as well. “Thank you. I did not want to be a bother, but that position was getting rather strenuous.” With a nod, Screwball turned her attention back to the battle raging past the forcefield.

George backflipped through the air, stopping suddenly and conjuring a pair of large vinyl records in his hands. “It’s your favorite neighborhood disc jockey. What’s a disc? Hell if I know, but I’m going to keep talking anyway!” he shouted, his voice echoing as if a microphone had been used. He then threw both discs at his opponents. They swerved to the side unexpectedly and Balcon smiled as smoke drifted upwards from his guns. Realizing how open he was, George was about to teleport when a bullet pierced clean through his upper arm.

While he turned his focus to healing the wound, Discord took the lead and launched an assault. He wasn’t sure why he was protecting this weird biped, but it felt like the right thing to do. “Yippie kai yay, motherbucker! I’mma firin’ mah lazor!” Discord shouted in a distorted voice.

A blast of blue light shot from his mouth towards his opponents causing Balcon to jump to the side as Evenry readied her blade and blocked the strike. After the light died away, Evenry’s sword shattered, much to her surprise. A frown creased her face and she looked to Balcon. He returned the gaze, but no other action followed.

“Well,” George began, landing heavily next to Discord, “this is getting boring rather fast.” With a snap of his fingers, a candy cane appeared in his hand and he placed the non curved end into his mouth. Pulling a small lighter from his pocket, he struck it and a green flame sprang to life. Holding his hand over the other end of the peppermint, he set it alight, before closing the lighter.

As George inhaled deeply, the candy sparked and shortened as it burned away. After a moment, George exhaled through his nose in the form of swirling clouds of red, white, and green smoke. Discord began a round of applause, smiling widely as he did so. George bowed in response.

“We would have preferred not to do this, since you were kind to us before.” Evenry said, who had received a nod from Balcon when George started his usual shenanigans. “But as of now, you are forbidden to use magic, Discord.” Arrows of light shot from all possible directions, pinning George against the far wall while Discord was held tight against the ground. Grimly, the duo began to advance on the draconequus.

“You can’t do this!” George shouted, struggling against the arrows. “You can’t, you can’t, you can’t, you can’t!” He began to pull against the light, but only managed in wounding himself further while he remained fastened against the wall. His shouting began to devolve into meaningless babble as his eyes rolled back, but his body continued to fight against the bonds.

“What’s... what’s going on?” Screwball asked. Both Celestia and Luna had begun to beat against the forcefield, trying to get through, but it proved too strong for them to bypass.

“They are going to take away Discord’s magic. George has let his mental protections slip and Chaos is taking over,” Entropy said darkly. “It’s happened a few times before; that’s why he ‘hired’ me, so I could snap some sense back into him. They became more and more prevalent as he returned. On his way back through the Everfree, a slight snap almost caused his mind to split, and then again when he met Celestia in Ponyville. I was hoping he would be able to avoid having another episode after he met Luna and Celestia, again.” The hat cast his eyes downward. “It seems I was wrong.”

Screwball turned to face the hat, curious as to why George would react as he was. “But, if they take away Discord’s magic, won’t he go back to normal? Isn’t it a good thing?” Discord was now beginning to struggle as well, but to just as much avail as everyone else.

“No. It isn’t. Taking his magic from him could very well kill him. Even if it doesn’t, the chances of him going even crazier are exceedingly likely. This is the ultimate punishment,” Entropy replied. “George has performed it a few times himself, on those who he deems should never use magic. Afterwards, he always has a bad feeling in his stomach and he won’t talk for days on end. This is, in no uncertain terms, the worst possible thing.”

Screwball, horrified at the revelation, beat against the wall as well. Sure, Discord had done horrible things, but he had been misguided when he had done them. Even if he hadn’t, George didn’t deserve the fate of watching his brother die. So, she fought with all her might. Even as the white light descended down from the sky and shattered the air, she fought. She fought until she could hear the overwhelming screams of Discord’s pain, and then she did the only thing she could. She shouted the name of the man who could fix it all.

“GEORGE!” The voice was enhanced by her magic, and passed through the barrier like nothing else could. It didn’t quite reach him though, so she tried again. “GEORGE!” This time, the shout did more than pass through the barrier; it shattered it to pieces. Looking around, she felt the magic that had been lent for the second shout. Entropy, Luna, and Celestia had all donated their magic to the cause. Excitedly, she looked to where George had been pinned, only to find him missing.

“Hands off my beloved older brother PUNCH!” came his voice. Evenry had only a moment to look before she saw the clenched fist colliding with her face, sending her tumbling backwards. The spell on Discord broke and Balcon quickly retreated to her, ready for another fight. George, instead, crouched next to Discord. No longer a draconequus, there was now a man who looked to be around his mid-thirties. Carefully, George knelt down, red magic crackling across his body as madness took his mind. Slowly, carefully, he picked up his brother in his arms and held him close. A flash of red filled the air, then was slowly absorbed by the adult’s body.

With hesitant eyes, the older man awoke. “Brother?” he asked slowly. George would have cried with joy, if he had been in his right mind anyway..

Without warning, George’s eyes snapped towards Evenry and Balcon. His pupils were the wrong sizes and his canines had grown sharper. “Portal spell. Now,” he said, his voice pitch shifting randomly. Scales had begun to grow on his skin as the chaotic magic transformed him. George clung to the magic as it coursed through his veins unhindered. Only now did he realize why his brother had given in. The world made you watch so much pain and suffering, knowing you couldn’t end it. It was nice to feel so full of joy. A joy that only the corruption could bring.

Evenry and Balcon shared a look, then turned back to the manic human, whom began to growl in a low pitch. “We can’t do that; you know what it would cause. We are not here to help you kill yourselves.” Back when they had discovered the spell, a discussion had been had about sending George and Discord back home. Unfortunately, Earth had no innate magic. Sending a magic user to it would tear them apart. Magic moved like pressurized air; it would spread out until it it was equal everywhere.

Plants sprouted from the ground at their feet and encased them. Evenry tried to cut herself free, but the blade shattered on contact with the plant life as red light began to emanate from George. “Cast the spell before I take your magic from you and do it myself.” The words weren’t a threat; they were a promise. Nodding slowly, they realized exactly how outmatched they were by the chaos magic coursing through George’s body.

They set up the framework, what harmony was designed for. Then, George poured his chaos into it. The spell was originally intended for two sources of chaos magic, but George did it alone. Because he had to. The portal evened out and the picture shifted appropriately. A plain looking bedroom came into view and George approached.

Now that the portal had been established, no one could do anything to close it until time ran out, so no one could stop George as he walked towards the portal. Holding a hand up, George created a red sphere of pure chaos magic. Then, it separated apart into the Equestrian air. Even those not trained in magic could tell that what he had released was almost all the pent up magic within him.

Afterwards, everything seemed to move in slow motion for Screwball. It took a minute for her to realize it was because everything actually was moving in slow motion. Then, it came to a stop. No one else was moving, not even George. Well, not the one near the portal anyway. The one by her side, however, was. Surprised, she turned to face the man.

“Hello, Screwball. I’ve come to tell you to go to the dagobah system and seek out a little green midget to train you in the ways of chaos magic.” He smiled widely and Screwball found it infectious, a smile spreading over her face as well.

“Nah, not really. This is the last of my chaos magic before I head home. I just wanted you to know something. You were the best student I ever had.” Time began to move back to speed, but before he had fully faded, George spoke again. “Oh, and take good care of Entropy for me. He’ll need a friend like you. Don’t know what he will do with only two people, though. It will hardly be a hat trick anymore.” His laugh was like bells as it faded away.

The George who stood next to the portal, his pupils normal again, his teeth back to their usual size, no scales, and the only sign of his magic being the large smile on his face, stepped through the portal with his older brother in his hands. The interstellar passageway collapsed behind them without a sound.

All was silent and Screwball smiled as she realized George had talked with everyone else already.

“I take he spoke with you all as well, then?” Entropy asked, fairly sure of the answer himself. When he received nods in response, he smiled widely. “Though George never said it himself, I believe there is a saying that would fit that quite a lot. ‘There is always time for another last minute.’ ”

With a smile, Screwball lifted the old hat from the ground and placed him on her head, shocking herself quite a lot when he immediately shouted, “GRYFFINDOR!” The princesses turned to face the hat, whom was looking quite sheepish at the outburst.

“Thank you, Screwball. For what you did. I believe we can all find comfort in the fact that, wherever George and Discord are, they’re happy.” Luna sniffed, clearing her nose, then smiled as tears began to gather in her eyes, tears that flowed with happiness for the brothers who were together at last. “My sister and I will need some time alone, I think.”

Screwball nodded and the princesses disappeared. With a small skip in her step, the pony with two tone hair, the same one who had been outcast by her peers, walked away. “So,” Screwball said, glancing upwards towards Entropy. “If there are only three kinds of magic, where does dark magic and changeling magic come from?” she inquired, ready to continue her learning experiences with the storytelling hat.

“That, my dear, is a story for another time.”

*The end. Cut and print it. - N64Fan

If hats could talk... oh wait...

George walked the streets of Canterlot with his hat firmly upon his head. Both him and Entropy were enjoying a peaceful walk through the capital’s streets during this beautiful day as the man displayed his usual carefree swagger. This time the pair were accompanied by random streaks of fireworks exploding behind them, causing many fillies and colts to stop and watch the odd displays that the biped caused.

While he strode through the busy streets with the various ponies giving him odd looks, the man couldn’t help but reflect on the events of that morning with a grin on his face. It had began with the sisters’ insistence that he introduce himself to the populace to ensure that the rumors about his presence could be straightened out.

It had started with a gathering being called at the castle grounds. A small stage had been set up and several chairs had been placed around for the ponies who were coming. The princesses had invited representatives from each of the major news businesses around the city to come and ask questions of George. They were then going to release a newspaper detailing the answers to the various questions and hand it out around town so that the general populace would be in the know about the biped.

Though the majority of the meeting was mostly boring, merely George answering questions through his conjured fish that acted like a microphone, there was a mare who had brought her young child with her so that the filly could learn about how to be a reporter. Because of this the filly got courage enough at one point to ask her own question and was subsequently called on by the chaotic being.

“Is your hat made of leather?” she had asked, the mother had tried to excuse the question but she was too late. The man had smiled at her in response and lifted the microphone up to his hat’s mouth.

A minute of silence passed before the deep rolling bass of Entropy echoed out over the gathered ponies. “I am indeed made of leather, it suits me much better than cloth, I think. Though of course I had no say in the material of my accessorized body." The hat paused for a moment in thought before continuing. "Do not cry for me though fair ponies, I have found a new life as a rather well adventured hat and I don’t think I would ever pass up my life as it is now for my old one.”

The shock was almost palpable in the air and George couldn’t help but smile at the look of awe on the filly’s face when she received her answer. It was silent for the longest of moments before they were beset upon by a new set of questions directed at Entropy.

It was through the gentlemanly hat that the ponies learned that the duo had been living in the wilds for the majority of the ninety years that they had known one another. The mention of the location alone sent shivers down a few spines, the wilds was an unexplored land to the south of Equestria with a notoriety of being nigh unlivable by anypony. If the never ending sandstorms didn’t get you, then the monsters that lived there would.

In addition to this the ponies were treated to an abridged version of how the two had met and a brief tale of a few of the minor experiences they had had outside of the wilds. It was quite interesting to hear the what his actions had looked like from another perspective and to see the looks on the pony’s faces when they heard the stories.

The man let the fond trip back to that morning die away into the past and was just starting to fully comeback into the present world when he felt something bump against his leg. George looked down to discover that a young earth pony filly had accidentally spilled her ice cream on his pant leg. The young pony looked up at George with a mix of awe and fear that was starting to cover her face. Deciding that the filly was unable to start the conversation currently, the biped squatted low to level his eyes with hers and smiled.

“I’m sorry, it appears that my pants ate your ice cream.” George said as he looked at the victim of his carelessness, an 'omnomnom' sound filling the air from an unknown location. “Unfortunately I am unable to create food for others. I was however given some money by the princesses before I came out here, so what say I get you some a new cone of frozen deliciousness?”

The filly merely remained completely stock still in shock as her parent rushed over. “Oh, I’m so sorry, did my daughter run into you sir?” The earth pony stallion immediately started on with a series of apologies that George waved off.

“It is fine I assure you, I would like to get your daughter some new ice cream though, if you would kindly point the way to the nearest ice cream stall.” The biped said as he straightened out of his crouch to stand at this full height.

“You don’t have to do that...” The stallion said as he tried to assure the biped or his innocence.

“Nonsense, I came out to have fun with the ponies in town. I can hardly pass up this opportunity.” George said with a grin as snapped his fingers. An umbrella appeared in his hand following the noise. The man quickly turned it upside down and took a step into the bowl-like shape the top had formed, then motioned for the two ponies to join him.

The father was about to decline the invite when his daughter looked to him with pleading eyes, the effect was almost instantaneous as the full effect of the d’aw hit him. He took an unsteady step into the umbrella as well and was quickly joined by his daughter. Almost immediately upon all the passengers being inside, the umbrella rose off of the ground and took to the skies, much to the surprise of the other ponies who were around.

The stallion grasped the edge in fear as his daughter leaned over it in awe. “So, where to?” George asked nonchalantly as he looked at the father. The stallion was scared stiff by his sudden flight, but the young filly managed to point out the ice cream stall in the distance and so they set their course. A little ways travel in and the stallion gulped before slowly leaning back in the umbrella, which remained rock steady.

“I’ll be honest, I’ve never flown before. What with me being an earth pony and all,” The stallion said with a somewhat quivering voice.

“I apologize if I am causing you undue stress, would you like me to land again?” George said with a look to the father.

“N-no, it’s actually kind of nice. Even if I won’t do it ever again it's nice to experience while it lasts.” The stallion said hesitantly, making sure to pick his words carefully so that the biped didn’t get the wrong idea.

“I’m glad to hear that,” George said with a grin before turning his gaze back to the open air around them, the ice cream parlor was still a little ways off but it was close enough that the chaotic being started to descend slowly towards the ground. The remainder of the slow landing was spent in silence as the dad looked up to the clouds with a small smile and the filly hurriedly looked around the town from her new vantage point.

After landing, the quartet exited the flying umbrella and George snapped his fingers again, dismissing the odd thing to wherever it had been before. With a smile he then reached inside one of his pants’ pockets and retrieved a few bits for ice cream. The human tried to merely pass the money off to the father before leaving but the stallion refused to let him leave so they both entered the small establishment.

“Hey Ala, you here?” The stallion asked inquisitively as he looked around. “Honey darling?”

“Oh, yer back sooner than ah expected ya to be, one sec. Ah’ll be right out,” came the country accented reply from the back of the store. The moment passed in silence as George tried to sneak away, but was constantly under the watchful eye of the filly.

Eventually, a vanilla colored pony stepped out from the back of the room, boxes of all sizes floating alongside her and covered in the aura of her magic. “How’s our little filly doin’? Did somethin’ happen?” the mare asked as she dropped the boxes to look at her husband and the biped who was trying his hardest to disappear into the background.

“Ah, you must be the old friend of Celestia’s that everyone in town is talkin’ about. What brings ya to my quiet little shop with my husband? He didn’t get overprotective of our daughter and hoof you in the face, now did he?” the mare said in a joking tone as she looked at her blushing spouse.

“Um, no actually,” George said as he reached behind his head and looked to the side, a bad habit that he had thought he had gotten rid of several decades ago. “I, that is to say, your daughter spilled ice cream on my pants and I came to purchase a new cone for her.”

“Well, that’s mighty kind of ya, but I can assure ya that we can take care of that cone without the need for bits,” the mare said.

“Oh, well then I’ll just buy myself a cone if that’s alright. I haven’t had real ice cream in the longest of times and you’d be surprised to find out how bad chaotic food starts to taste after a while."

“Well ah ain’t gonna say no to a customer, what wouldja like?”

“One scoop of every flavor please.”

“Ah’m not sure ya want that now hon, we have over five hundred different flavors.”

“How much would one scoop of each flavor cost?” George asked, putting aside the mare's earlier comment.

“Well ah reckon it'd be about two hundred and fifty bits.”

The man reached into the pocket of his pants and retrieved three, one hundred value, gold bits. “Here you go, keep the change,” The man said with a smile as he placed the bits on the counter. Without any furthur words the man rolled up the sleeves of his shirt and snapped his fingers. The two scoops underneath the glass sprung into action and before too long the man had a teetering cone of multi-chromatic ice cream.

With another snap of his fingers the cone floated high above the biped until the top of the cone nearly scraped the ceiling. And yet another snap had the cone inverted and plunged directly towards George’s gaping mouth. The entire treat was devoured almost instantaneously and the man grinned at the looks of shock that greeted him. Bidding farewell to the ponies the being exited the building and left to go sit on a nearby bench that was quickly replaced by a lounge chair.

A moment of silence passed as the two friends rested themselves. Eventually the quiet had to be broken and it was the biped who did so. “You don’t talk a lot, Entropy,” George said to his headwear.

“That is because I can sense the mood of a situation. I am respectful to the people talking and I don’t talk unless I need to talk,” Entropy replied.

“Well the way you go about it, one might think it’s your special talent or something.” The man paused for a moment as he glanced upward towards his hat. “You know what’s funny? After all these years I never have asked what your special talent is.”

“Though I may not have a cutie mark anymore to prove it, my special talent is story telling. I used to have the foals in that town sit around and listen to my stories. They were so observant and innocent, when one of them came up to me and asked me to get rid of the witch I could hardly decline him, now could I?”

“That was very considerate of you, sounds like you had quite the life set up before you were unjustly turned into a hat. Sorry I couldn’t turn you into a pony again by the way; dark magic is some tough stuff.”

“Not really, I didn’t really have any friends due to my self seclusion. I never was the most socially inclined of stallions. And then, of course, ten years was not good on my temperament as you can well see. I fell further into myself and away from the pony I had been. You know, I had completely resigned myself to eternal loneliness as a useless piece of headgear before you came along. You, the brave knight in shining armor, come to succeed where I failed.”

“Maybe, but you still have me in politeness and storytelling.” George said with a small grin.

“Don’t go selling yourself short George. For somebody with a past such as yours you have quite a lot to be proud of.” Entropy said as his gaze glanced to the man beneath his brim and then to the sun that was approaching midday.

“I suppose.” The man said as he stood from his seat on the bench. A moment of silence passed before a wicked grin came over the man’s face. “Saaaaaay....”

“Yes?”

“What say you that you and I go back to that old town of yours and see if you can’t get the foals to smile again? They’ll be different foals no doubt but maybe a few parents will have heard about you from their parents. I haven’t been back there in one hundred years anyway, I think a return trip is in order.”

“Though I appreciate the sentiment I don’t think I could go back there as I am. I want to remember the town as it was. And the chaos and confusion that follows us wherever we go would only wreak my perception.”

“Yea, chaos does follow me around.” George admitted.

“Think nothing of it, you are what you are and I am what I am. The important thing is that we continue on. Maybe we can finally rest here in this town with these princesses. It would make a nice change of pace. You’ve been so busy seeing everything that you never have time to examine it. Perhaps settling down with these life long friends of yours is what you need.”

“Yea,” George said as he looked up at the sky, Entropy remaining on his head through some miracle or another, with a snap of his fingers a single cloud turned from white to pink and a drop of chocolate rained down. With another snap the cloud returned to normal and George watched as it floated away into the distance. “Perhaps.”

Author's Note

If you can figure out the full name of the ice cream salesmare that I nicknamed in this chapter, I will half-heartedly applaud you. You won't be able to hear it, but I will. In other news, Seriously StapleCactus is the best.