The wrong portal

by Wonder

Rating: everyone
Tags: Dazzlings, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Other, Comedy, Random, Human
Length: 1571

Sam just wanted to have a mostly normal day. Why is it that the universe seems to be against him?

Feeding the ducks. Sounds simple but boring, right? Sam thinks so too so he always adds a bit of fun to it. Unfortunately his fun is interrupted by something that he doesn't even know the name of.

Published 2017-03-15 03:40:02 UTC
Last updated 2017-03-15 03:40:02 UTC

A tale of boredom.

Sam was enjoying a beautiful sunny day. He had woken up bright and early at the wonderful time of midday. In his opinion that was the best time to wake up. Especially when he had no plans. On days like this he didn't have to worry about work or any other adult things. He could do anything he wanted. With that in mind he had decided to go to the park and tease the ducks. The park near his house was always quiet, with the exception of ducks of course, so he could always relax and do nothing.

When he arrived the park was empty as usual. Bless the god of constants.

Taking all the time in the world, Sam walked over to the ridiculously large duck pond the town had decided to build, loaf of bread in hand. He had plenty of games to play with the ducks and he knew exactly which game to start with. Sam spread his arms wide and addressed to ducks directly.

"Here me, you filthy peasants of the Anatidae family. I, your kind and generous king, have brought a bounty to be rewarded to the strongest among you." Sam lifted the bread above him with one hand and all the ducks turned to him. He had their complete and undivided attention. "Who among you fools believes yourself to be worthy." A single duck quacked from somewhere in the middle of the pond.

"You are a fool then. I ask only that you fight for my pleasure and you will be rewarded." Sam reached into the bread bag and brought out a single slice and shouted. "Let the games begin!" Sam raised his arm high and threw the bread into the middle of the pond and the battle began.

Feathers flew in every directions as the ducks competed for the bread and by extension, his favour. The battle lasted only a few moments but the victor was evident. While all the ducks had been fighting, one of the smaller ducks had sneaked into the fray and came out with the treasure unscathed. A true victor. What better way to reward his champion than with the spoils of war. Sam waited until the smaller duck was alone before throwing it a few crumbs of bread. The duck had earned it.

But time was wasting and soon round two of the grand games would begin. He must now address his people again. Taking slow and careful steps so as not to scare the ducks away, Sam waded into the center of the large pond.

"A wondrous beginning to the games, I dare say that these games will go into the history books. With victory comes greatness and there is still much to go around. So it is with great pride that I announce our second game. Behold-" He went to bring out another piece of bread when his speech was cut short.

"LOOK OUT!!" Sam heard someone scream above him and jerked his head up to see who it was only to be crushed by a wall of blue.

Ducks scattered as their pond was invaded by an unknown intruder. Water splashed everywhere and the duck's home was tossed about before settling again.

Sam tried to move but found that he was pinned under some sort of fish. Had someone dumped a fish on his head?! With some effort on his part, he managed to slide out from underneath the scaled stomach of the slimy creature and surface for air.

When he opened his eyes he was met with the frowning face of a... well, he didn't actually know what he was looking at. It looked like a mix between a seahorse and a snake. Emphasis on the horse part though. The creature had two scaled hooves that probably acted as arms. It's long body coiled around the pond taking up most of the large basin. It's tail ended with a large powerful fin that could crush a car. Good thing he had walked to the pond.

Along its underbelly the scales were shaped into a 'V' pattern that continued up its body until it met its neck. It's head was shaped more like a horses head but had a large waving fin along its spine with two thin antennae between its curved ears. Most noticeable thing about it was the radiant sapphire in the middle of its chest.

"You're not a duck?" It spoke! The thing could talk. "Why are there people in Equestria? Oh shoot, did I break it?!"

"Y-y-you can talk!" Sam stammered.

"Well, duh." It spoke like a teenager who had heard the most obvious thing ever. "Of course I can talk. Hey, why are you so tiny."

Sam looked at her, at least he assumed it was a girl considering the voice, confused. It took a moment for him to realize that to her he would look small. She was the size of a bus! He thought about pointing out her size but last time he had mention a girls size it had been met with... hostility, and he didn't feel like dying just yet.

"Uh, yeah I guess I am." He rubbed the back of his head. He wasn't entirely sure but maybe he had hit his head.

"You are just to adorable, like one of those tiny little doggies." She squeed and picked up the tiny human with both hooves..

"Hey, what are you doing!?" Sam yelled as he flailed in her scaly hooves. The creature smiled at him with razor sharp teeth.

"What does it look like I'm doing. I'm cuddling you." She stated as if it was the most obvious thing in the world. She pulled the smaller creature towards into her chest and began nuzzling it affectionately. Once he was mostly sure he wasn't being eaten, he relax his muscles. Her scales were somehow hard and soft at the same time which boggled him. He would have expected them to be slimy. "You are just too tiny and cute!" The serpent yelled in a high pitch voice.

He didn't know why but he felt like he was being patronized. A random creature he had never even heard of appears out of nowhere and proceeds to treat him like a puppy. He didn't even know what to do. School had never prepared him for anything on this scale... was that a pun?

"Um, excuse me. Miss?"

"Miss? Eww, I'm not an old lady." The creature shook one of its hooves like it had something gross stuck on the end of it. "Ewewewew. No, I'm Sonata. Got it!" The creature lifting him up to he was staring directly into her eyes and looked at him sternly, in an almost angry manner. "Say it."

"Uh." Sam looked between her eyes and her mouth. He was pretty sure saying the wrong thing would end with him in her mouth so he complied with her demand. "Sonata..." Sam said hesitantly. He didn't know why, maybe it was her size or the pointy teeth lining her mouth, but she made him nervous.

"That's right!" She cheered and pulled him in for another hug which lasted a few seconds before dropping him unceremoniously into the water. "Now, what's your name?"

"S-Sam." He said uncertainly. Not because he had trouble remembering his own name but because the whole event was beyond the scope of what he assumed was possible. He was pretty sure that on a normal day he wouldn't be ambushed by a giant mermaid-horse thing, which was apparently called Sonata. It was pretty safe to say that today was taking a turn for the weird.

In another plane of reality, which happened to be a boat, three gods sat around the table laughing to themselves.

"Oh Murphy, you are one clever, twisted little bastard." Fate chuckled to herself. "How do you come up with these scenarios?"

"What can I say? I have a gift of making things interesting." He grinned at the image before them with pride. "This is what he gets for messing with ducks."

"What is it with you and duck justice?" The third entity at the table, Max, sighed while trying not to laugh which led to an extremely unusual sound that can only be replicated by filling a harmonica with miniature trumpets.

"I'll have you know that ducks happen to be my ninety-seventh favourite animal, just behind Geckoes. I just love those tiny lizard squeaks they make." The god pulled out a scrapbook and opened it to the gecko page and proceeded to squee in delight.

"You are one messed up god, you know that." Max flicked Murphy's nose. "Have you even thought of how you are going to get Sonata back to her dimension?"

'Meh, I'll figure it out soon enough. Isn't that what your here for, oh Prince of Butterflies."

"I'm the queen of Order, you idiot." Max fumed. "Seriously, they name one event involving my gift and suddenly it's all about butterflies. Screw you guys, I'm going home. Just don't come begging me for help when a hurricane comes knocking."

Author's Note

Definitely not my best work but I was bored and only had a short time to be bored. This is the results of my lazyness. Behold my field of artistic skills and see that it is barren. Now have fun. Hope you all enjoyed this... thing.