Here I am in an afterlife, of sorts. But somewhere along the way, I lost a large chunk of my real life.

There’s only one being who could have reasonably pulled any of this off. There’s a problem, though. She doesn’t exist.

Yet.

Written for the December 2016 Writeoffs, where it placed sixteenth. Caution is advised.

This story is very non-canon Optimalverse, and should therefore be approached with even further caution.

Note the self insert tag. Blatant wish fulfillment ahead. Did I mention caution?