RT Ep. 13: Re-Vamped for the Occassion

by MasterOfNintendo

Rating: everyone
Tags: Twilight Sparkle, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Other, Fluttershy, Original Character, Science Fiction, Comedy, Random, Adventure, Discord, Crossover
Length: 5174

Z-Squared, Mothra, Fluttershy, and Tafeli Vs. the Nosferatu himself. Just another adventure in this series.

Orlok, the famous Nosferatu, has risen to resurrect the lord of the vampires: Dracula. Van Helsing, the elderly hunter of the undead, calls upon Sir (reluctantly) to stop him. Being a bit kooky, he asks of Z-Squared, Mothra, Fluttershy, and Tafeli (the mailman, mind you). So, might as well see where this goes, am I right?

Published 2017-03-08 22:10:01 UTC
Last updated 2017-03-08 22:10:01 UTC

The Mephisto Waltz!! Orlok's Devious Attempt!!!

Previously on the Review Team,

One jerk of an undead dragon tried to screw around with the Review Team in more ways than one, but then, in a way not like Mary Sues, he got his ass handed to him. It's much cooler in retrospect. Now, onto Transylvania-HEY WAIT!

Yes, Transylvania. Most people would call it 'the birthplace of vampires'. You'd be wrong. It's the birthplace of vampires AND a decent Victorian town. Quite a tourist attraction. It's got its share of scenic beauty, the Carpathian landscape to be specific, and rich history.

But this isn't about glorifying and advertising a tourist location. Let's just move on.

As night fell, a strange civilian in a dark cloak wandered through the corridors. Everything that was in his way, such as rats and insects and the like, immediately ran for cover as he wandered through the streets.

A street vendor was packing his things in to make yet another buck when he realized his fruit was dying as the man passed him.

"What the?! Hey!" The man turned when the vendor yelled. "What kind of hocus pocus is this?! You're ruining my food!"

Had the vendor looked closer, he would have noticed very long upper canines. "Such bad manners." The figure said.

Walking like a corpse, the hooded figure was now very close to the vendor. Feeling unsure, the vendor took a few steps back. An icy cold grip took over his arm. It was being held by the figure, who was starting to get a little to close to his neck.

"You freak! What's this now?!"

The last words the vendor ever heard were along the lines of this: "Like I said. Bad manners...but you're prey. Can't have it all, can you?"

The figure opened his mouth, exposing the upper canines-nay, FANGS.

The scream was only muffled by the other hand. Otherwise, it would have been heard throughout the entire town.

A few minutes later,

The vendor fell down in a state of shock. No words came from his lips, yet alive he stayed. For now. A terrible disease began to ravage his body and he didn't know it yet. The figure decided to take his leave. He had business to attend to.

Meanwhile in a hotel room in the same town (sheesh, what a mouthful),

A man was filing his taxes when he saw a small red light go on and off in a far-away castle. Some people ignored it while others just didn't see it. The man, however, was horrified. He knew exactly why it was a bad thing to see such light from such a place.

"This can't...no. It had to happen someday." The man said. "I doubt anyone will believe me on this. So, I guess I should turn to some...drastic measures."

The man slipped his hand into his black jacket and brought out a certain device. A communicator.

"I prayed I'd never have to use this again and, if I'm lucky, somebody else will call." He sighed. "These old bones aren't doing me any favors."

Click.

Let's just move on to, you guessed it...

The next day,

Fluttershy and Mothra were knitting a sign that said 'get well soon' for those injured in the scuffle from last episode. Mr. Freeze, Megatron, and Marceline were almost okay, but the 2 decided it wouldn't hurt. Z-Squared and Marceline were the first to heal completely, but the other two would have to sit the day out. Nosferatu was still watched by Marceline's team though.

3 words summed up the film: "Better than Twilight." We all concur, Marceline. We all concur.

However, as Sir was walking in with the traditional bag of pizza bagels in hand, a large beeping sound was heard from the monitor.

"Hmmm? Who could that be?" Sir wondered.

"Tell me it's not that dragon again." Godzilla groaned, thinking of a certain undead monster.

"I doubt it." Megatron said from his bed. "We managed to send him back from whence he came."

"Can we get a move on?" Marceline said.

Everyone headed in and saw an old man at the monitor. He was an Englishman with a grey beard and Dr. Wily-like haircut. He wore a brown-leather jacket with plenty of old-age monster slaying doohickeys in each pouch. He also wore a monocle.

"Hello? Is anybody-OH GODDAMN IT ALL!!!" The old man said.

"We cross path yet again, Abraham." Sir said.

"Of all people...fine. Anyway, I have terrible news to share! I tell of a terrible calamity that I pray you will stop. Hopefully, without causing property damage through the roof." Abraham said.

"I see." Sir then turned to his audience. "I would like to speak with Abraham alone."

"Uhhhh, who is that?" Basil asked.

"That is a discussion for another time." Sir said as the others walked out.

"Actually, I would appreciate company in case of a second opinion." Abraham suggested.

"I have spoken." Sir hushed before he shut the door.

A few minutes later,

"Who do you suppose that person was?" Twilight asked.

"I dunno." Finn replied. "Seems old enough to be a friend of Sir's. Using the word 'friend' loosely, that is."

"Whoever he is, I hope he livens up the day." Discord said. "This crick in my neck is killing me."

"Is that from being Celestia's personal lawn gnome?" Marceline joked.

"Oh, shut it, will you?" Discord snapped.

Sir then walked into the room and sat down.

"I have received some terrible news. I will have to explain before night falls." Sir began. 'And before Abraham deletes me from his friends list on Facebook."

"What do we got?" Godzilla asked.

"Demons?" Twilight asked.

"A cataclysm?" Mothra shivered.

"The local retirement home?" Finn joked.

"No." Sir responded. "Well, actually, a sort of combination. Minus the retirement home. I am speaking of...vampires."

Marceline sat up. "Okay. Sign me up. This is defiantly my caliber."

"Silence, Abadeer." Sir raised his hand. "This is not the type of vampire from your world. It is a type of vampire that causes chaos and pain wherever he/she goes."

"So?" Marceline raised an eyebrow. "That doesn't sound any different."

"Well...have you heard of Dracula?" Sir asked.

"Who?" Marceline asked.

"Are you new?" Z-Squared said. "Dracula! The most famous vampire in existence! He's got it all! The cape, the fangs, the demeanor, the habits, everything! Even that sad attempt to make him part of a cinematic universe. Who knows? They might have another go at it."

"There is more to him than that." Sir said. "He is no ordinary vampire. He is rather the first. Time to tell you the story...of the First of the Damned." Sir sat down as he prepared his tale.

"Here we go. Grab me a pillow just in case." Godzilla grumbled.

"It all began with an ancestor of a viscous warrior overlord. The overlord known as Vlad. Vlad the impaler. The overlord had long since been dead, but his legacy lived on. His ancestor, Vlad Dracul, was a godless man who struggled for the secret of eternal life when he was 15. When he reached 21, he decided to abandon any moral and call upon Satan in a forbidden ritual known as the Memphisto Waltz. That, I shall not go into. Upon looking upon the man-"

"The big guy decided to grant him that and a vampire was born." Finn interrupted. "That sounds about right. I mean-"

Sir then turned to him "Do not let your hate for the dark lord cloud the truth. As much as Satan loved toying with humanity at points, he knew eternal life was forbidden. That, or he had simply grown bored with how many false deals about immortality that he had made with mortals, only for them to end in tragedy. Dracul cursed the devil and he became more embittered them before. However, the Antichrist, the son of Satan, had a plan. The monstrosity already had a supreme hatred of humanity, so why not create a new breed of evil to plague the Earth? The Hellspawn went up to Dracul and granted him his wish. However, there were some...other changes."

"Symptoms might include a hollow life, eternal thirst, and a bad attitude. I can see where this is going." Basil stated.

"Don't interrupt, dragon." Sir held up his finger. "Dracul felt stronger and much faster, but he also gained the powers of the vampire we know today. Shape-shifting, blood-sucking fangs, no reflection, levitation, and others. The typical Vampire weaknesses we know today did not apply to him. Aside from sunlight, of course. However, the Antichrist left a severe bite mark on his neck. That, my friends, is what Vampires call 'The Mark of Hunger'. He christened himself a new name, Dracula, as he started to revel in draining the life of the unwary and the innocent."

"That's it? He just added an 'a' to his name? Aiming low there, I'll say." Discord said as his neck flopped onto the ground.

Sir continued. "However, on the Hellspawn's orders, he figured he had to convert people into Vampires to create a new race of villainy. Because of mixing genes with humans, however, these new vampires were not only not as powerful as Dracula, but the also had new weaknesses. Wooden stakes, holy weapons, garlic, the rest is history. New breeds of Vampire had even begun to rise, like the dreaded Nosferatu. Specifically, Count Orlok. He could not convert people into Vampires, but he could spread the bubonic plague across entire towns, among other things."

"I heard a nice warm bath helped with that." Fluttershy said.

"Indeed. But those were the days." Sir sighed. "When the Vampire race decided to reveal itself, many were slaughtered, human or otherwise. Fights broke out and areas in Europe were soaked with blood. Many historians refused to show this in the textbooks because the event was too horrific to describe. A bit odd. They didn't seem shy about the torture machines they had then. However, a band of vampire slayers saved the land from their grip of terror. They were led by the great Abraham Van Helsing."

"That man you were talking to?" Mothra asked.

"Indeed. He took down many a creature of the night before coming face to face with the lord of it himself. It was a long and grisly battle. Helsing was even bit by Dracula. However, the genes in his body only gave him immortality. Do not ask me, he still does not go out into the sunlight. Dracula, rather than be finished off by conventional means, was forced into his coffin by two very special weapons that Helsing had traveled through trial among trial to get. They were the HOD and the COP. The Hammer of Destruction and the Chisel of Pain. Both were weapons that pinned down Dracula down to his coffin. The nails that held down the chains to said coffin were said to be forged by the Angels themselves, ensuring he would never rise again. Van Helsing went on to be a traveler by night and a secluded man by day. However, some of the vampires escaped, including Orlok. They faded into society for a long time, supposedly planning of freeing their ruler."

"So..." Godzilla finally said. "The lord of Vampires is at is again?"

"No." Sir plainly said. "But he will rise again if we do not act. Orlok has been spotted in Transylvania. He not only is spreading the plague once again, but he also appears to be visiting Castle Dracula daily. This means he is planning something."

"No duh!" Marceline said. "Let me deal with the old geezer. He obviously hasn't met the likes of me."

"That does make sense." Twilight said. "You are a vampire, so it would make sense to, well, fight fire with fire."

"Actually, I have carefully assembled 4 of my members here to deal with this calamity. To stop Orlok from whatever he is planning, I will send in 4 of you to spy on him. Then, when the moment is right, attack." Sir reminded.

"Tactics. Something I would have never expected out of you." Megatron said.

"Wait." Z-Squared raised his hand. "Why not send all of us to put him in the ground? We're jammed packed with powerful characters."

"You've got that right!" Discord, with a snap of the fingers, looked much more buff now.

"Big deal. I can just incinerate him." Godzilla said.

"So can I." Basil said.

"Guys, I don't wanna sound like a broken record, but there's only room for one vampire here." Marceline said as she polished her axe-bass.

"Yeah, you guys handle that." Finn said. "I really don't like where this is headed."

"You're finally catching on." Z-Squared said. "Even so, Sir wouldn't pull off something really stupid."

A few minutes later,

".......WHY?!" Z-Squared shouted. "WHY IS OUR GREATEST ASSET...THE FRICKEN MAILMAN?!?!?!"

The team, rather oddly, was comprised of Fluttershy, Mothra, Z-Squared, and Tafeli. Yes, the intergalactic mailman who, at the moment, was twiddling his tentacles nervously.

'Just how did I get into this mess?' He thought. 'This is my day off for Pete's sake!'

"Why is it we have to go after a vampire?" Mothra said, regarding her and Fluttershy. "I like vanquishing evil, but this seems...contrived."

"Well," Sir began. "I just thought you all needed a day in the limelight, as they say. Besides, one of you has vampire plants residing on your home island, the other has been a vampire at one point."

"I'd rather not talk about that." Fluttershy reminded.

"Anyway, I'm sure that this will not fail at all." Sir exclaimed.

"Freakin. Idiot." Marceline muttered.

"Why not send in the big guns?!" Godzilla said.

"This makes no sense on so many levels!" Twilight facehoofed.

"I am too exited to hear you!" Sir obliviously remarked.

"This has become 10 levels of pure, concentrated idiocy." Z-Squared muttered.

"Ummm...." Tafeli finally said. "What exactly is Earth like?"

"Oh, uh, you'll like it, Tafeli." Z-Squared assured, his mood improving with talking to the meek alien. "Nice digs. Plenty of rich history and architecture and once you get a whiff of the environment..."

"Brother. Focus." Sir held up his finger. "Don't get too wistful. You are going to be heroes again. Although, you, Tafeli, are a rookie, I'll admit."

"You want me to be a hero? I'm a mailman!" Tafeli said. "In fact, you just pointed out that I have zero experience in the field of assassination!"

"You shall prove yourself to be better than you think, my friend." Sir said.

"Just roll with it." Z-Squared nodded at the alien. "I'll back you up. Count on it."

"Well, I do remember my training on how to avoid Lava Eels, slip past Reptoid guards, talk with whatever remains of the Greys, and other things. So...maybe I have a shot?" Tafeli said.

"Awww!" Mothra and Fluttershy finally noticed him and now they were fawning over him.

"He's so cute!" Mothra squealed.

"Isn't he adorable?" Fluttershy said.

"Gag me." Godzilla said.

"Whoa, ladies!" Tafeli sheepishly said. "I'm not used to all this attention."

Basil and Discord leaned over to Sir. "If Flutters get harmed," began Basil. "You're head is gonna be on a stake!"

"We wouldn't want THAT to happen, now would we?" Discord hissed.

"While I won't go to anything THAT barbaric, I advise you to make sure she doesn't get hurt." Twilight said.

"Can we go now? It's already 9:00 PM." Z-Squared said.

BZIT!

"Wish granted." Sir said.

Meanwhile in a hillside over Transylvania,

BZIT!

The four now found themselves overlooking a village in Transylvania.

"Just get right to the point, why don't you, brother?" Z-Squared remarked.

The four of them were given vague instructions, so they had almost no idea what to do.

"Well, Sir did say we should watch over the town in case of suspicious activity." Mothra said. "Why don't we do just that?"

"No offense, Mothra." Z-Squared replied. "But I don't think the guys around here are going to hold on to their sanity upon seeing a Kaiju, a pegasus, and an alien."

"HEY!" Tafeli raised his tentacles in anger. "I'm not an alien! I'm a proud Kinclocloptian citizen!"

"Is that the planet you're from?" Fluttershy asked.

"Kincloclop?" Tafeli looked at her. "Why yes!"

"You'll have to tell us about it someday." Z-Squared smiled. "Back to the pain. I have a plan." He pointed to Mothra and Fluttershy. "You two will watch the skys. Me and Tafeli will patrol the streets. Just be careful not to expose yourselves. Or comment on how...empty this place looks."

Everyone nodded, even though they weren't sure if this was going to work.

When they got there, they realized this would be easier than expected to get by without being noticed. The reason, though, was less than appealing. The whole town looked abandoned and the stench of death riddled the air. It seemed as if a plague had swept across it.

It gave Mothra and Fluttershy chills, but Z-Squared and Tafeli pressed on. Okay. They were also kind of scared. Something wicked had obviously set foot here.

"Now, why doesn't Van Helsing take care of this?" Z-Squared said to himself.

"Maybe it's some kind of code?" Tafeli suggested.

"Maybe." Z-Squared replied, not freaking out over the alien overhearing him from a distance.

Meanwhile, Mothra and Fluttershy continued to patrol the sky. After a while, they suddenly saw a mysterious cloaked stranger with a vial in hand. It seemed to be filled with a white sprite that wanted out.

The two, not wanting to reveal themselves, flew to where the others were. Mothra's wings were a bit of a problem fitting through an alley, though. Even when shrunk, those things could be bothersome.

"Z-Squared! Tafeli!" Mothra whispered. "We've got news."

"There's a strange man patrolling the streets. He has this odd vial in his hands. Or at least I think those are hands." Fluttershy whispered.

"What? Does he have tentacles like me?" Tafeli asked.

"I heavily doubt Cthulhu has anything do with this. We should check on him, anyway." Z-Squared said.

"Are you sure?" Fluttershy asked. "It seems we might be invading his privacy."

"Don't worry. I won't jump on him and start pounding away at him with my sword. I'll just calmly approach him." With that, Z-Squared started to walk towards the stranger.

The stranger looked back and started to gain speed. "Hey, you!" Z-Squared said. "Lovely night we're having. What's that you've got there?"

"None of your business." The stranger sounded like he had broken glass in his vocal chords.

"Hey...you know that this whole town looks like it just got sacked by disease. So, what brings you here? I'm curious." Z-Squared continued to walk towards him.

"Are you that dense?" The stranger said. "You know I desire no company. I just told you that. Thus, leave me be."

Suddenly, the stranger stopped and he seemed to sniff the air. "But wait! I could have a word with you for a moment."

With that, the stranger, his face hidden by a hood, stiffly walked towards Z-Squared. Now the brother of Sir was starting to get suspicious. The walk cycle and the voice were defiantly bad news.

"Come closer." The stranger said as he leaned in. The reflection of the full moon then bounced off something on the man's face.

Fangs. Really long fangs.

Immediately, Z-Squared swung his sword upward, catching the hood to reveal a most terrifying face.

It was bluish, pale, and almost devoid of life. It had cold, blue eyes and a nose much akin to a rodent, namely a bat. It's head was almost pear-shaped and it sported some really long fangs (obviously). The expression it took was one of shock and rage.

"GAH!" The creature went.

"Holy mother of-ORLOK!" Z-Squared reeled back.

"How did you know?" said Tafeli, after he and the others rushed over the scene.

"Well, I saw the movie." Z-Squared said.

"Well, curse my hunger." Orlok sighed. "At least I got what I wanted. I must be off!" With that, he transformed into a hideous pack of rats.

"After them!" Mothra shouted.

The chase was soon on. The rats were fast, but some of them were shot by Mothra's beams and lightning strikes. Some rats were even grabbed by Tafeli and thrown at Z-Squared, who cut them down to size.

'Such powerful foes!' Orlok thought as his pack-form ran faster. 'Whatever. They shall never best me! NEVER!'

The location they were headed to was, of course, Castle Dracula. Or what remained of it. The roof was pretty much gone.

As they entered the decadent home, only the main rat remained. It climbed into a hole in a door that led to the basement. The lock there was still incredibly durable after all these years, so no human has bested it. Or bothered to, anyway.

"Well, pant! Pant!" Z-Squared breathed. "What now?"

SHOOM!

Mothra blasted open the doors with her beams.

"Thanks, Mothra!" Fluttershy said.

"I can see why she's worshiped back in her homeland." Tafeli admitted.

The four headed inside to find a most peculiar sight.

Orlok was carving a mini-pentagram alongside 7 others around the supposed coffin of Dracula. All of them had an odd white sprite that was bound by red chains, which were coming from the pentagrams.

Orlok stood in front of the coffin and the symbols. "Now, my dark master! I call upon the souls of these dead to engage in the very act that will set you free! This prison has kept you in eternal slumber for too long. Now, if you can hear me, here is what will happen. I will call upon these spirits to dance the Memphisto Waltz and free you shall be! It's simple, apart from gathering the souls, of course." The Nosferatu chuckled at that.

"That monster!" Fluttershy whispered.

"He killed all those people just to get them to get down to release the master of darkness?" Tafeli gawked. "Wow. What a peluker."

"A what?" Z-Squared asked.

"You don't wanna know." Tafeli reminded.

As Orlok raised his arms, he shouted "SATANAITUVAMPULIDOUSUNDTSOMA!" Or some gibberish like that. The souls of the dead grew larger and the chains were looser, but they nevertheless had a good grip. Like a music conductor, Orlok used his long, clawed index finger to show them how to dance the dreaded waltz.

As the foursome tried to think of a plan, something was also happening. Fluttershy couldn't get her eyes off this vampire. An effect was taking place. A Deus Ex Machina effect, if you will. Because she was staring at a vampire like this (one that's more closely related to bats), she began to feel changes in her body.

"Hey, uh, Fluttershy? You okay?" Z-Squared asked.

"She doesn't look so good." Mothra said.

Just then, Fluttershy sprang into the ritual and flared her wings up with a mighty hiss.

Flutterbat was back.

But, wait! Season 4 doesn't exist in this timeline! Well, the first time it happened was during an event that involved Vampire fruit bats, a bunch of noodles, and balls of twine. Don't ask.

All Orlok could do was look in total surprise. He then looked at his wine on a nearby table. "What do they put in this stuff nowadays?"

You'd have the same reaction too if a miniature horse with bat wings, red eyes, and fangs came up to you.

"What happened to Fluttershy?!" Mothra and Tafeli both said.

"Well, through some Vampire logic, or in my case contrived writing, she's regressed back into an old form of hers. It's a long story." Z-Squared answered.

"Ah! I see I have intruders. And a vampire...horse...thing." Orlok said. "Come to me, creature of the night. We have a ritual to-AUAGH!"

Before Orlok could finish, Flutterbat leaped up to him and started to bite and stomp on him. Whatever was commanding Fluttershy right now, it told her to take out this potential rival.

Orlok pushed her off and, using his shadow, swatted her away. She then turned to her teammates and hissed.

"Fluttershy! It's us!" Mothra pleaded. "I don't want to hurt you!"

"Yeah! Bat-guy bad!" Tafeli said in order to divert her attention to the incoming Nosferatu.

Despite his stiff movements, Orlok had quite some strength and when he got close enough, he lifted several pieces of stone from nearby walls and pillars. All 4 of the members did their best to avoid them, but, due to her still large size, Mothra had her wings (including herself) pummeled into the ground.

As they fought, the souls stopped and watched. The waltz would have to wait until Orlok regained control.

Z-Squared tried leaping at him with the intent of turning Orlok into pieces. With that, Orlok turned over to him and threw him into an attacking Flutterbat.

Mothra, as she tried to get up, was suddenly bonked on the head by a shadow. Orlok had quite some strength for his frail-looking body.

Tafeli was extremely scared, as he was the only one who wasn't knocked out or trying to fend off an angry vampire pony.

'Oh, geez! Think, Tafeli, think! Just think of worse things that could be happening now!' He thought as sweat dribbled down his body. 'A chihuahua-Xenomorph! A volcano! Being demoted to letter carrier-'

SLAM!

That was the sound of a random stone brick falling to the floor in the scuffle. Or, really, falling right onto one of Tafeli's tentacles. His iris shrunk.

...and, rather than scream, Tafeli's eye went red. Rage began to course through the small alien. I should probably tell you that Kinclocloptians are VERY proud of their tentacles. People seldom harm them. And this vampire made that mistake by accident.

Before Orlok could use his telekinesis, Tafeli screamed with rage and jumped at him. The Nosferatu was immediately blinded by the mass of tentacles curling around his head. Tafeli then began to radiate with an intense body heat and Orlok started to scream. While fire wouldn't kill him, Orlok knew that it nevertheless hurt. A-lot.

After Orlok managed to toss him to the side, Tafeli then fired a barrage of tentacle lasers in all directions. Even Flutterbat stopped her attack on Z-Squared to witness this development.

"Well, beware the nice ones, I guess." Z-Squared remarked. "That kid's awesome!"

"Keep going, Tafeli!" Mothra urged on, having recovered from her K.O. "Just be careful. I don't think this place will stay sturdy for long!"

She was right. Orlok began to grow more frantic in his stone-throwing and tossing. The place was about ready to crumble. Tafeli's lasers didn't make it any better.

Flutterbat saw this as an opportunity to attack her rival and before Orlok knew it, he was tackled by the vampire pony. They struggled for a while until they realized the ceiling was caving in.

"Damn the whole 'collapsing boss room' cliche! We're only in Season 1 and this is happening!" Z-Squared bemoaned.

Thinking fast, Tafeli smacked Orlok's head with several of his tentacles, thus disorientating him for a while. The foursome barely got out as the room crumbled.

The coffin, the symbols, and Orlok were completely buried. Flutterbat, who was exhausted from the ordeal, even seemed to calm down. As was Tafeli.

"Ugh." The alien rubbed his eyelid. "Did we win?"

"Well, it looks like we did!" Z-Squared said. "A bit anti-climatic, but it did last a few good minutes."

"I didn't know you valued battle so well." Mothra remarked.

"Not really. I just like looking back." Z-Squared shrugged.

Suddenly, Orlok burst from the rubble.

"HAH! You thought pound upon pound of rock and stone would end me! The souls are returning to their appropriate planes right now, but I swear by it I will return to fulfill the awakening of Dracula!" Orlok proclaimed.

"Well, I've got some bad news for you." Z-Squared said. "Night's over."

Just then, the sun had started to rise over the castle. In panic, Orlok tried to turn into a pack of rats to hide in a hold, but by then, the rays of the sun were cooking him like an egg on a skillet.

"AUGH!" screamed the creature in agony. "WASN'T A FAIR MAIDEN'S BLOOD SUPPOSED TO BE INVOLVED IN MY DEATH?! THIS SEEMS A BIT DRASTIC! AUUUUUUGHHHH!" Orlok then started to fade into a puff of smoke. The first, and last, Nosferatu was no more.

Also, Flutterbat, with the death of the one who unintentionally vampirized her, turned back into her old self.

"Ummm." stammered Fluttershy. "What happened?"

"We beat the vamp, and we go home." Z-Squared remarked as he set up his communicator.

"OH! I can't believe it!" Tafeli floated up and down in excitement. "I took down a supernatural being not even in the books! I once knew of a human who proclaimed nothing...NOTHING would get in the way of the galaxy's mail! Oh, wait. It's just me."

"You did good." Mothra assured. "We all did good."

Later in the Headquarters,

Everyone (marginally) was very impressed by the foursome's performance. They didn't expect such an outcome with such random characters.

"I've gotta hand it to you, guys." Marceline said. "I didn't see any of that coming."

"You turned into a vampire pony again?" Basil asked Fluttershy. "....Can you do it again? I find it a little kinky. What, with the bat wings and all..."

Discord snickered as Fluttershy blushed.

"Hey, Tafeli." Godzilla said. "How 'bout a round of Mai-Thais with the guys around here?"

"Thanks, but no thanks." Tafeli replied. "I'm a light-weight. Hey, wait! How come you all knew what happened down there? We were in a basement!"

"I can explain." Sir said. "I put a video camera on each of your bodies for the occasion. I really wanted to see the outcome."

"You do realized we could have been slaughtered out there." Z-Squared deadpanned. "How is it you can be so noble, and yet so sadistic?"

"I would hardly call success and glory sadistic." Sir reminded. "Then again, I think some of that drink Finn brought from Ooo went to my head."

"Okay, first of all, you just drank the nearest glass you could find. Twilight saw you do it." Finn reminded "Second, you don't even have a head! Or a neck. Or a stomach. In fact, how do you eat and drink?"

"I good magician never reveals his secrets." Sir chuckled.

"I'm not sure that's how it works." Z-Squared said.

"Trust me." Sir deadpanned. "I'm not sure myself."

THE END.

Author's Note

Cast:

Sir and Z-Squared-Themselves
Godzilla 2000-Patrick Siez
Twilight Sparkle-Tara Strong
Finn-Jeremy Shada
Megatron-Frank Welker
Discord-John De Lancie
Mr. Freeze-Arnold Schwarzenegger
Marceline-Olivia Olsen
Fluttershy-Andrea Libman
Basil-Billy Zane
Mothra-Christina Valenzuela
Tafeli-Koari Mizuhashi
Van Helsing-Doug Stone
Count Orlok-Steve Blume

Music:

The Plague Village-Haunted by Screams from Myuu
Headquarters-Mii Channel Theme
A History of Vampires-It Ends RETRO by Super Meat Boy
Tafeli-Overworld Theme by Super Mario Bros. 2
Nosferatu Chase-Encounter by Super Smash Bros. Brawl
Vs. Orlok-Skeleton Lords by Dark Souls 2
Credits-Night Falls by Tekken Tag Tournament 2

Nothing except Sir, Z-Squared, and Tafeli belong to me.

See you soon!