Noctilucent arrived to prepare the lounge for the group session and discovered that Pinkie Pie had gotten there first. The excitable mare had party-a-fied the room.

There were balloons, streamers and festive paper decorations hanging from the ceiling, all with a distinctly apple-oriented theme. Noctilucent wasn’t certain what to make of this development and gingerly tip-hooved into the room. She had noticed that all of the earth ponies had been behaving a little strangely since the festival, so it was perhaps only reasonable that Pinkie’s general oddness was drawn a little tighter.

“Ummm… M-Miss Pie. Why…?”

Pinkie finished sticking a colourful streamer in place across the lounge’s cabinets and flounced down into her usual seat on one of the couches.

“Why? Why what, Nurse Luci?”

Ignoring the incorrect title Noctilucent waved a hoof, taking in the room. “Why t-this?”

“Oh, just a little post-Festival festivity.” Pinkie’s closed-eye smiling face beamed at her as if daring Noctilucent to question Pinkie’s happiness.

“Al-alright…”

Noctilucent sat, took out her notepad and spent a few minutes making notes of Pinkie’s behaviour and mood, while Pinkie bounced on the couch and hummed a happy tune.

As each pony arrived for the session, Noctilucent made note of their reactions to the highly decorated room. Clickspring smiled at first, then looked apprehensive. Fluttershy merely hopped up onto the couch and hugged Pinkie Pie, so perhaps she had known this would happen. Or at least wasn’t surprised that it had. Dr. Cake did look surprised, but then shrugged it off and gave Pinkie a wry smile as he took his usual seat.

It was Dirt Nap’s reaction that was the most telling: The same kind of surprise that every other pony (aside from Fluttershy) had displayed, but as he focused on the apple themed decorations his ears went back and his face flushed. Noctilucent didn’t think he was embarrassed, but happy? Pleased? Excited? Something was going on there. After he sat down across from Pinkie Pie, Noctilucent observed Pinkie Pie give Dirt Nap a broad wink while holding her hooves over her muzzle and giggling. Dirt Nap’s throat bobbed as he swallowed loudly. Now he appeared embarrassed. Her pen scribbled a note.

Dr. Cake coughed and cleared his throat.

“Hello, everypony. I hope everyone had a good week and for those of us who were there, I hope you enjoyed the Festival.” He looked over at Dirt Nap and his brow furrowed with concern as he asked, “Did you manage alright, Dirt Nap? I saw you there; running around and looking very upset. Did something bad happen that you’d feel comfortable discussing with the group?”

The questions hung in the air while Dirt Nap rubbed his hooves together nervously and stared off into space.

After a few moments, Clickspring nudged him with a poke of his magic. “Dirt Nap?”

Dirt Nap jolted and sat up, making the couch rock a little under his bulk. “Huh? Oh, what wus that again?”

Dr. Cake asked, “Did you enjoy the Festival?”

“Oh! Oh, yeah. Ah had a great time, thanks.” Dirt Nap smiled broadly with his eyes half closed and murmured, “It wus wonderful.”

“Oh! Good, very good. I was worried about you, but it sounds like things worked out then.” He turned and asked Pinkie Pie, “How about you, Pinkie? I didn’t see you on stage when the Contest ended. Didn’t want to be Princess three years in a row?”

“Mmm… nope! Well… Yep! I did wanted to. More than ever! Nopony’s ever been Princess three years in a row! Buuut something even more smileableicious came up and it was so, so, so much better.” She hummed happily to herself.

“That’s good. I think,” said Dr. Cake. “My wife and I had a good time as well. Just spending an evening together away from the foals was a blessing.” He chuckled and said, “Anyway, we probably shouldn’t dwell on the Festival anymore. How is everypony else doing? Fluttershy, did you make any progress on your date?”

Fluttershy shook her head and curled up a little smaller on the couch.

“None at all?” Dr. Cake held up a hoof to forestall Pinkie Pie. “Please, Pinkie. I’d like to talk about this with Fluttershy rather than hear it from somepony else. It’s important that she discuss this with the group, or not if she doesn’t want to.”

“Oh, ok.” Pinkie settled back down and rested one of her hooves on Fluttershy’s back and gently stroked her soft mane.

“Umm… Well…”

Everypony was quiet and their ears were perked up as Fluttershy whispered, “H-he came by my house. S-Star Hunter. And… and I hid.” She sniffled and squeaked.

“It’s quite alright, Fluttershy. You made great progress when you first approached him to discuss going on a date. I’m certain that with the support of your friends and our help you’ll continue to make progress.”

Fluttershy made a polite little nod but didn’t appear to share in the doctor’s confidence.

Dr. Cake returned her nod before turning to Clickspring and asking, “And how are your lessons going, Clicky?”

Noctilucent’s ears pricked up.

“It’s going ok. I guess.” Clickspring shrugged, “I’m not great at most of the lessons and we’ve had to skip a lot of stuff that I can’t do at all. But I am learning some new spells so I can’t complain.”

“You are getting out more as well? Spending time with other ponies?”

“Uh, just with Rarity I guess. We meet a couple of times a week for lessons. Sometimes her little sister shows up as well.”

Dr. Cake nodded and said, “Good, good. I would like to see you become even more social, but this is a good start.”

Repressing a sigh, Noctilucent wrote a few terse notes to be added to Clickspring’s case file. She agreed with the doctor’s assessment; that this was a reasonable start, but there was more that needed to be done. She worried that once Clicky’s lessons were completed, he would go right back to being a recluse once more. And they hadn’t even begun to address his issues with more intimate relationships.

Dr. Cake smiled warmly and said, “Good. I’m happy that you’re making progress in your magic training and that you’re engaging with another pony. However, I think all of you could be doing more to work through the problems that brought you to these sessions.” He sighed and rubbed a hoof over his balding head, “That’s at least partly my fault for being so distracted by the Festival. But now that is over for the year, I’d like to be more active in helping each of you.”

Dirt Nap, Clickspring and Fluttershy all looked nervous. Which only made sense as nopony really enjoys confronting their issues. Pinkie Pie didn’t seem any less cheerful, however.

“I’m very happy with how our homework assignments went and I’d like it if we could do that again, but this time I’d like for each of you to think of an assignment to give to yourself.” Dr. Cake waved a hoof as he continued, “Not right now. Just, think about it until we have our next session and we can discuss your ideas then. Alright?”

Dirt Nap held up a hoof and said, “Ah don’t think ah’ll be comin’ to sessions nomore. You all done cured me of why ah needed yer help.” He smiled and ducked his head shyly. “Thank y’kindly, everypony.”

“Wooo! Can I bring out the cake now? Can I? Can I? Can I?” Pinkie Pie clapped her hooves together and bounced excitedly.

Dr. Cake chuckled and said, “Oh, sure. Why not? If no one else wants to bring anything up, we can make it a short session.”

Suddenly there was a large cake box on the table. Noctilucent must have blinked because she knew it hadn’t been there a moment earlier and other than a pink blur nothing else in the room had moved. She had seen similar acts of earth pony magic in the past, albeit used for more violent and deadly purposes, but Pinkie’s skills were most impressive. If it were not for Pinkie’s personality she might make a good candidate to consider when re-founding the Lunar Guard.

“TA DAHHHHhhhh!” Pinkie opened up the cake box to reveal a large, rectangular cake covered with wide stripes of orange, chocolate and strawberry frosting. After giving everypony a few moments to admire her work, she began slicing it up and dishing it out on apple themed paper plates.

When she handed Dr. Cake his slice of the multi-layered cake, Clickspring asked, “What kind of cake is it?”

“It’s apple cake on top of chocolate rocky road cake and another layer of apple cake on the bottom.” Noctilucent saw her give a very broad wink to Dirt Nap.

“Oh, I’ll have to pass then. No apples for me.”

“Awww… I guess Apple Adapter Cake isn’t for everypony.” Pinkie grinned wickedly as she handed an extra big slice to Dirt Nap.

Far down the side of the Canterhorn, many meters below Canterlot palace, below the noble households, below the condominiums of the nouveau riche, the apartment buildings, the jewellery shops, the art galleries, the museums, the bakeries, the… Far below everything that made up the public face of Canterlot lived the lesser branches of Equestria’s government. Squeezed into small valleys and perched on cliff ledges, haphazard office blocks provided working and living spaces for ponies on their way up the political ladder or who had slid down a political snake.

Sitting at her well-worn desk Minty Treacle wielded an “APPROVED” rubber stamp with a furious energy. Her horn lit up with soft blue magic as she alternately smacked the stamp into an ink tray and smashed it down on an approved expense requests. The meter tall stack of papers to stamp was slowly giving way to her youthful enthusiasm.

“Minty!”

Minty turned to the door of her supervisor’s office, just behind her desk, and called, “Yeah, boss?”

Minty giggled as the older unicorn sighed and shook his head. His almost whined as he trotted over and complained, “Please cease to call me that! Why is it so difficult for you to say my name?”

“Sorry, bo… Uh… Mr. Gleam.”

He spluttered, “B-But that’s even worse! The manner in which you speak it makes me sound like a kitchen cleaning product.”

Minty couldn’t help teasing such a stuffy and ‘proper’ unicorn. Even his black and white coat made him look like he was wearing evening dress at all times, which perfectly matched his snooty attitude. The white ‘monocle’ patch around his right eye didn’t help with that impression at all.

“Fine! Fine. You may continue to refer to me ‘the boss’ then." Gleam’s magic deposited a thin folder of paperwork next to the stack of approved requests. “Once you have finished with the approved expenses, I require that you to deal with these contested ones. I will be in my office…”

‘No, you won’t.’ thought Minty.

“...please see to it that I am not distur-GAH!” Gleam yelped as a unicyclist rode past his office door, briefly interrupting his retreat from Minty’s desk. The clown was so intent on riding and keeping the red balls that she was juggling in the air that she didn’t notice Gleam’s furious glare as he stalked into his office and slammed the door shut.

Minty giggled and turned back to her desk. She returned to rubber stamping the approved expenses and a few minutes later she felt a quick tug and swish of the local field as her boss teleported.

‘Oh well, at least the rest of my day will be quiet. Sort of.’

She looked across the open-plan room, past the desks where other ponies had their heads down over their own stacks of paperwork. The dusty windows showed a mostly clear, blue sky with a few fluffy clouds adding texture. Minty longed to be out there. Sipping a coffee and relaxing, not shuffling papers and trying to tune out the fools.

A dozen clowns were busy making a pyramid right in front of the double-door entrance, making life hard for page ponies trying to use the door. It was the worst possible place to build a precarious pile of painted ponies, which was of course why they were doing it.

The unicycle-riding clown wobbled up to her desk and said, “Hey, Minty. Three more days! That’s what my weather pony contact told me this morning. Just three more, so keep. It. Up!” With each word she allowed one of the rubber balls she was juggling to bounce on the top of Minty’s desk, rubber ball stamping the folder her boss had dropped off.

Minty groaned and replied, “It can’t come soon enough! Ok, well, scoot. We both have work to do.”

The unicyclist snorted in amusement and pedalled off, purposefully hip-checking the stack of accepted requests as she pedalled away. Minty easily caught and steadied the papers in her magic and groaned again when the circus band in the corner started making various honky, squeaky and almost musical sounds as they warmed up.

She banged her head against her desk and considered breaking into her boss’s office. It didn’t seem fair that he had an office he hardly ever used and she was stuck out here with the rest of the paper pushers and the clowns. Two dozen desks, a few shelving units, filing cabinets and an entire circus-load of clowning and comedy acts. Then again she’d only been an intern here a month and the boss had worked here the entire four years that the Ministry of Unicorn Apprenticeship Administration & Supervision had been ‘temporarily’ co-located with the Royal Fools & Incontinent Dwarf Guild Ltd.

When the crash cymbalist started tuning his obnoxious instrument, bashing the two halves together repeatedly, Minty decided she’d had enough.

She scooped up the thin folder of expense requests and retrieved her courier bag from under the desk. The stapled on receipts fluttered and crackled like a paper wing as she stuffed the folder into her bag. Two rubber stamps and ink pad joined it and she fast trotted for the front doors while slipping the bag around her neck. She squeezed past the wobbly stack of clown ponies as one of the dwarfs struggled to climb to the top. The brazen opening notes of Here Come the Clowns chased her out the door.

Apples weren’t usually used as weapons. You ate them. Juiced them. Baked them.

Throwing them was pretty far down on Applejack’s list, but right now, apples were the ideal missile.

“G’wan! Git! Y’cuss headed horny foal!”

She wasn’t throwing them all that hard. Just enough to sting a little. And they were just windfalls, nothing that would ever make it to market. She grabbed a couple more out of a basket and tossed them in Dirt Nap’s direction.

He’d stopped to look back at her with a powerful hurt look in his eyes. One of the apples whipped past his ears, making him blink, and he squealed when the other one smacked his rump. He turned and galloped away.

Applejack sniffled and rubbed her nose before turning away to get back to work. The leaves weren’t gonna move themselves out from under the trees after all. She scooped up a rake from where she’d dropped it on the ground and looked up at Big Mac. Her brother just looked at her with an accusing look in his eyes, while the paintbrush he held in his mouth dripped watered-down white paint onto the ground.

He didn’t say a thing, didn’t need to. Applejack’s cheeks flushed red and she turned away a got back to raking leaves away from the tree with furious energy.

With a sigh and slight shake of his head, Big Mac went back to painting the trunk of the apple tree. A thin layer of white paint would help protect its bark from the winter’s sometimes harsh sunlight.

“Aaaaaplejack! What did ya go n do that for?” Applebloom trotted over, carrying the bouquet of flowers that Dirt Nap had dropped when he was run off. She plunked herself down but Applejack didn’t look up from where she was angrily thrashing a pile of leaves with the rake.

Applebloom snuffled at the bouquet and said, “He seemed real nice.”

An annoyed grunt was the only answer that Applejack made.

“Is he comin’ back? Is he yer special somepony? Did y’meet him at the Festival? Did y’kiss him?”

“Applebloom!”

Big Mac leant around the trunk of an apple tree and drawled, “Eeeyup.”

Whirling back to face Big Mac, Applejack spluttered for a moment before yelling, “Y’all talk too much!” She threw down her rake and stomped off towards the Sweet Apple Acres barn, a dark storm cloud rapidly forming over her head.

Even with her ears plastered back against her head, she could hear her little sister peppering Big Mac with questions. “Whut’s wrong with Applejack? Wus it somethin’ ah said? She gonna be okay?”

“She ain’t being honest with herself is all.”

Minty splashed some water on her muzzle and rubbed at her face. Looking in the mirror she stuck her tongue out and then gazed into her eyes. The looked a lot redder against her pale green hide than they had any reason to be. A quick brush through her tan and brown striped mane, a touch-up to her makeup and she was ready to get going.

She trotted through the cafe, where she’d spent the last half hour sorting through the contested expense requests, and out into the narrow, cobbled street. Most of them were obvious scams or simple typos to correct, but there was one left that she’d have to visit another department to sort out.

Minty was certain she could stretch that task out for the rest of the work day. Plus it entailed a ride on the funicular! She pranced happily and half of her wanted to gallop to the station, but she had all day to kill and drawing out the anticipation was its own kind of pleasure.

Page ponies carrying scrolls galloped or swooped past her, scurrying around to keep the ink blood flowing through Equestria’s ancient bureaucracy. The Fall Rush was in swing. When the winter weather arrived—in three days, if the unicycling clown could be trusted—the narrow cliff-side streets would be too dangerous. Even for unicorn hooves with traction spells. The high winds and snow would ground all but the hardiest of pegasi. The bureaucracy would hibernate with only the most basic services maintained through the cold season.

For today though the streets were dry and Minty’s scenic amble to the station was relaxing. She loved the mountain views and the crisp, clean air. She snorted and giggled at the puffs of steam that shot from her nostrils. On her left were various offices built against and into the cliff, a narrow cobbled road beneath her hooves, a short stacked stone wall on her right was all that kept a pony from the sheer drop and a glorious view across Equestria.

Minty pranced down a long ramp, past a row of merchant accounting firms and into the station.

She spent a few minutes in front of the district map to figure out that she needed to get to Kinship Station, one level up. The steel framed station building was mostly made of glass, like somepony had set a greenhouse on the side of the mountain. It was a sharply angled parallelogram in shape and sat at an angle, following the slope of the cliff face. As most of the waiting passengers were down at the bottom, Minty trotted up the stairs and found a completely free doorway up at the top.

There was a pegasus couple waiting at the door next to hers. The mare wore a sling across her chest that had a tiny foal tucked into it, just the pretty pink face poking out and staring around with wide blue eyes. Minty couldn’t help cooing and waving to the little munchkin. The mama pegasus smiled while the stallion tried to take a photo of the approaching funicular carriage.

Clanking and groaning loudly it rose up from below, hauled up the mountainside by a pair of thick steel cables. There was a loud bang from the locking brakes as it came to a halt, startling the infant who started to cry. The station and carriage doors both opened with a hiss. Minty stepped to one side as a page colt bolted through the doors and galloped down the stairs.

‘Crazy foal,’ thought Minty as she stepped into the carriage.

The interior was divided into separate wooden booths, angled the opposite way from the slope of the car so that the floors in the booths were level. Minty sat on one of the two benches and scooted all the way over to the large window opposite the door.

The doors shut with a hiss and with a shudder the carriage slowly began moving again, rising up out of the top of the glass station. It was relatively quiet inside of the booth, just a quiet clacking from the brake gears and a few whimpers from the foal in the booth next to hers. Minty had only a few minutes to enjoy the beautiful view of the mountains before the carriage entered a dark tunnel. Gemstones glowed inside of the carriage along the tunnel walls, casting a warm, ethereal light inside of the carriage.

A few minutes later they rolled into Kinship Station, which was a subway buried beneath the streets of Canterlot.

Ten minutes of trotting through echoing underground passages later and she was standing outside the entrance to the Canterlot General Hospital & Ministry of Health offices. The staff entrance that is; there were many public entrances to the above ground building. Minty always used this way as a shortcut into the administrative belly of the beast.

But there was a toll to pay for such passage. The guardian of the gate must the appeased before somepony with technically no authorisation to be there would be admitted. Minty held up the treasure chest, slowly opening the lid so that the guardian could select his tribute.

“Aw yea… Baaston creme! Ma fave!” The elderly guard levitated out one of the pastries and waved Minty through the door. “Ga head, Minty.”

Two more guard and two more doughnuts later, Minty had infiltrated into the very heart of the ministry’s bureaucratic maze. Popping her head through the open door of Legal Services she was surprised to find only one mare in the office. A mare who seemed to be losing a frantic battle with the pneumatic message system.

“Hi! I…”

“AUGH!” The poor mare practically jumped out of her skin and whirled around on her chair to face Minty. “What? Who?” There was a loud PHOOMP sound from the pneumatic tube and she whipped back around, almost knocking a half dozen massage tubes off of her desk in her rush to retrieve the newly arrived one.

Minty coughed and said, “Sorry. Uh. Where is everypony?”

The other mare grabbed a message tube, rolled up some papers, roughly shoved them inside, quickly slid the tube into the pneumatic pipe and pulled a lever to send it on its way. She glanced over at Minty. “What? You’re still here?”

“Where is everypony?”

Reaching for another tube the mare waved a hoof in the air and almost yelled, “Stacks! All hooves on deck! And I’m stuck here dealing with…”

PHOOMP!

“Augh!”

Minty shoved a powdered, jelly-filled doughnut into the mare’s open mouth. She seemed frazzled and everyone loved doughnuts, right?

“Thank you!” Minty chirped as she headed out the door.

One more guard defeated with a doughnut later and she was wandering through the hospital’s file stacks, munching on the final doughnut as she searched. There were a lot of ponies in the confined spaces between the row upon row of filing shelves. Some of the shelves rolled on tracks along the floor and made crashing sounds as staff ponies moved them from place to place. More ponies scurried to and fro with stacks of files and forms. Everypony looked super busy, so Minty tried not to get in the way.

She finally spotted a familiar dark red furred rump with a gold belt buckle, stuck up in the air as the rest of her fillyfriend’s body was crammed inside the bottom drawer of a dusty old filing cabinet.

Minty licked the last of the frosting and sprinkles off of her muzzle and sang, “Hiii Jadie!”

There was a loud BANG from inside of the cabinet drawer that Jade had crawled halfway into. She cursed and slid out, ending up sat sprawled in the aisle, rubbing her head and groaning as she looked up at Minty.

“What do you need, Minty?”

Minty giggled and said, “What? Not even a ‘Hello, Minty’? ‘How are you, Minty?’ Can’t I just drop by to visit a friend?”

Jade ran a hoof through her dark green mane and only made it more dusty and tangled. “No. Not during Fall Rush and you never visit unless you need help. So. What is it this time?”

Sensing that she really should make this quick so Jade could get back to whatever frantic busy-work her fellow intern had been saddled with, Minty took out the expense request and said, “I need a copy of a T.C. test that was done in Ponyville, on a pony name ‘Clickspring’.”

“Submit form TC-111 stroke B and somepony will send your department a copy, Minty. It’s not that hard.” Jade scrubbed her forehooves together, trying to get the dust off of them.

“Noooo! I want to get this done today, Jade! Going through channels will take forever, especially with the Rush. This poor mare…” She glanced at the form, “...‘Rarity’ won’t get her money until next year and I only need a copy which you can get printed off in just a few minutes.”

“Uh huh. And your boss will get pissy if you don’t clear all your paperwork before the Rush ends, right?”

She leant in closer to Jade, pouted and made big puppy eyes at her. “Please, Jade? Pleeeeeeeeease?”

Jade slide the drawer shut with a bang and grumped, “Fine! Fine. But after I help you do your job, you have to help me with mine. A’right?”

“Ummm… What is it you’re doing?”

Jade stood up, shook herself and angrily kicked one of the shelves. “Gathering up old patient files for shredding. Three years of legal school and I’m a garbagepony for Celestia’s sake!”

“The glorious lifestyle of an intern.”

Jade snorted and shook her head. “What was the name of the pony you need the T.C. for? ‘Click-something?’”

“Clickspring.”

“Ok, section ‘C’ is this way.”

It was a long hike through the Stacks to get to the right section. With every medical record of every pony who had visited a hospital in Equestria in the last fifty or so years, there was an entire forest of trees laid to rest within the bowels of the Ministry of Health. Jade commanded various shelves to rearrange themselves by stroking on trigger stones attached to the end of the shelf. Had she been a unicorn rather than an earth pony, she could have orchestrated their dance using just magic. Canterlot was an equal opportunity employer and was very careful to ensure that all facilities were available to all tribes as well as any non-pony staff. Few though they were.

Keeping out from underhoof, Minty stood in a small nook between stacks of cardboard boxes, while Jade grabbed a ladder and trotted off between a canyon of shelves that she had parted. A few minutes of precarious perching on a ladder later, she returned with three folders.

Jade spread them out on top of one of the dusty cardboard boxes and swatted Minty’s grabby hooves away.

“Hey! Ministry’s eyes only, Minty.”

Minty sat back and rubbed the hoof that had been unjustly swatted. She pouted and asked, “So, which one is it? My ‘Clickspring’ lives in Ponyville.”

“Give me a minute.” Jade picked up a folder and awkwardly flipped it open, “Nope. This one’s living in Fillydelphia.”

Minty leant up against Jade’s back and shoved her snoot over her shoulder so she could see into the folder as well.

Jade rolled her eyes, set the folder aside and opened the next one. “Vanhoover.”

The third folder had gone yellow and brittle with age. She carefully opened it and said, “Nope. Canterlot and he’s been dead for thirty-four years.” Being a lot less careful she tossed the final folder into a bin of similarly decrepit paperwork.

Jade gathered up the folders and slipped out from under a disappointed Minty. While she trotted off to go re-file the folders, Minty tried to think of other places they could look. She wasn’t going to give up that easily.

When Jade came back she asked, “Could someone have taken his folder out or something?”

“Nope. They would have left a card behind in the filing cabinet.”

“Anywhere else it could be?”

“Umm… I can’t think of anywhere, sorry Minty.” Jade gave Minty a shoulder bump as she walked past. “Come on. We have a date with several tonnes of dead files to shift.”

Minty tried to think of anywhere else they could look as trailed behind Jade through the maze of shelves. Poor Jade didn’t seem to like any of her ideas though.

“Maybe it’s misfiled? We could look through all ‘C’ couldn’t we?”

“That would take days, Minty.”

Minty gestured at one of the pages that scurried past them in the narrow hall. “Could one of them have it?”

“There’d be a card in the filing cabinet if they did, Minty.”

“Maybe it’s been put in with the stuff to be shredded?”

“Nopony is that clueless, Minty.” She heard the other mare mutter something to herself but couldn’t make out what it was.

“We could look?”

“No, Minty!” Jade abruptly turned around, pressed her nose up against Minty’s and in a tense voice she said, “We looked, it wasn’t there and now I need your help to get caught up on the work I should have been doing. Ok?”

Minty pouted and in a little voice she said, “Ok.”

Jade turned back around and they continued their trek back to where she’d been sorting out old files. After walking quietly for a few minutes Jade said, “Look. I’m sorry we couldn’t find the file, but it’s not like I work back here all the time. I really don’t know where else we could look.”

“S’okay, Jade. I just feel bad for her is all.”

“‘Her’ who?”

“Rarity. The unicorn who took on Clickspring as an apprentice. I mean, she’s nice enough to teach a disabled colt and now she’s going to be screwed on account of lost paperwork. She’s spent all these bits to help somepony and now she won’t get her refund until next year.”

“Oh.”

Minty scuffed her hooves on the floor as she walked along behind Jade. “I feel bad for the colt too, ‘cause if nopony finds his paperwork he’s going to have to re-do his tests. And that must be kind of sad ‘cause he’s so weak. I hope the other foals don’t laugh at him too much.”

Jade groaned and said, “Fiiiine. Follow me, I’ll see what I can do.”

Minty’s ears perked up. “Really?”

“Yeah, I’ve heard that there’s some ‘lifers’ who work in the basement. One of them might know where to look. Come on.”

Several staircases later they arrived in a dimly lit and cool hallway that had been carved into the rock of Mount Canterhorn many, many years ago. The floors above this one were technically underground but they were not cut through natural rock like this passage. They had been built up using landfill as a way to extend the natural shelf that Canterlot was originally built on.

Minty wasn’t certain if it was the lower temperature of the air, the dim lighting or the higher than normal magical field but she could feel her fur all prickling up. She shivered and pressed up close beside Jade, who also seemed a little out of sorts.

“W-Where do we go from here?”

Jade looked down the hallway and shrugged. “Beats me. I’ve never been down here before, but there should be a loss management department or something.” She slowly walked into the hall and gestured at one of the doors, “Take a look at the office name plates. Look for something like ‘lost records’ or something.”

Minty nodded and bravely started walking down the corridor, reading the nameplates on the other side of the hall from where Jade was investigating.

“Department of Megalithics.”

“Ministry of Magical Maladies.”

“Ministry of Preposterous Gaits.”

“Cutie Mark Oversight - Canterlot Div.”

“Ministry of “ She blinked and looked a little closer, but couldn’t make out the rest of that ministry’s name as it had been crudely scratched off of the metal plate. It probably didn’t matter as that door was also boarded up and looked like it hadn’t been opened in many years. In fact, none of these various ministries and departments seemed to be open. The frosted glass panels in each door were dark, so Minty imagined that the rooms beyond them were not lit. There were no other ponies at all in the hallway; none of the ubiquitous pages dashing around with paperwork, and certainly no old ponies of the Stacks.

“Psst. Minty.” Jade whispered—for some reason—and waved at a door that was further down the hall. “I think this is it.”

Minty tip-hooved over and read the door’s sign, “Department of Lost & Found?”

Jade nodded and said, “Pretty much describes what we need, right? Finding something lost?”

The door’s window was dark, so Minty just barged on in expecting an empty office. It was dimly lit, but it was far from empty. Stacks of folders filled the room, mountains of yellow and dusty paper as far as her eyes could see. Which wasn’t very far. There was just room inside the door for Minty and Jade to squeeze their way inside.

There was nopony to greet them. No sounds of anypony working in the crowded space at all. It seemed more like they’d entered a storage closet than a departmental office.

“H-Hello?” Jad was whispering again and Minty rolled her eyes. That was not how you went about getting attention.

“HEY! WoooOoooo…! Anypony here?!”

There was nothing but silence in reply.

Minty opened her mouth to suggest that they look in one of the other offices when there was a very loud and phlegmy sounding snort from somewhere behind the piles of folders. They waited as a slow clip-clopping of hooves approached and a very long, very grey face peered around a mesa of papers at them.

Minty wasn’t certain she had ever met somepony who's colouring was as washed out as this old unicorn stallion’s. Calling him ‘grey’ was an understatement. He looked like an old black and white photo of a pony that had been left out to bleach in the sun: a matte grey coat, lighter grey mane and even his half-lidded eyes were a washed out, almost-white colour.

“Mmm… May I help you? Mmm…?” Even his voice was a grey monotone, deep and sonorous.

There were only two ways Minty could respond to such an utterly colourless apparition: Respect or denial.

Minty was always big on denial.

“Hiiiiiiiiii!” she chirped, “O.M.C! I’m so, so happy to meet you! I’m Minty and this is my pal, Jade! We’re really happy that somepony’s here ‘cause we need help finding a patient’s file that’s lost somewhere. Maybe in here? Can you help us?” She felt a bead of nervous sweat roll down her forehead as she pasted an I’m-not-really-scared grin on her muzzle.

The stallion’s wrinkled, old eyes blinked slowly but otherwise he didn’t react.

“Hello…?” Great. Now she was whispering too.

He sighed and in a very disinterested tone he said, “Mmm… yes. Yes, I can help you.”

He turned and started walking away, so the mares ducked around the misshapen stack of folders to follow him. Minty had an unfortunately great view of his bony rump and noticed that he had a very strange looking cutie mark: a “0” lying on its side with a pillar in front of it. It was dark grey, almost black but not quite.

The mounds of paper which hemmed in the door really did fill the entire room, having swallowed up several desks, chairs and the corner of what was probably a pinball machine. It reminded Minty of the time she’d visited a glacier on a class trip a few years ago; layers and layers of deposits, slowly swallowing up everything in the room. Eventually, they stopped in front of a wall which had a series of shallow shelves bolted to it, and on each shelf was, of course, stacks of paper.

Minty was going to ask if the stallion could start with the helping at some point, but he held up a hoof when she opened her mouth. He squinted up at the shelves, reading the faded notes that were taped to it. She glanced over at Jade who shrugged and sat down next to her.

“Ah.” The stallion’s magic reached up and grasped a pale pink sheet of paper from one of the stacks and levitated it over and into Minty’s hooves.

Minty looked at the form he’d given her and asked, “What’s this?”

“Mmm… T-45a. Request for Intervention by the Department of Lost & Found. Mmm...”

Minty sighed heavily and reached into her satchel for a pen. “More paperwork. Great. So, I fill this in and you’ll help us?”

He nodded and droned, “We are so obliged.” Pointing at a slot in the wall he went on, “Deposit when filled. Mmm... You will be mailed a queue number slip. Office hours are from 11 A.M. to 3 P.M. on weekdays. Mmm... Failure to appear when your number is called will terminate your request. Failure to provide your queue slip will terminate your request. Failure to provide a signed T46 form will terminate your request. Mmm... Good day.”

Minty grabbed his tail as he started to wander off. “Wait, please! How long will this take?”

His pale eyes didn’t exactly glare, as such, but Minty got the point of his very unimpressed look and let go of his tail—which rained several hairs onto the floor.

“Mmm… A few days. No more than a fortnight. Mmm… Perhaps longer due to the Fall Rush. Please note that we are closed during winter. Good day.”

Minty spluttered, “B-but this is an emergency! I have to get this poor mare’s reimbursement out today!”

Jade leant in close and whispered, “Really, Minty? It’s not that big of a deal.”

Minty pushed her muzzle away and shushed her.

“Mmm… Emergency Disbursement of Funds?”

That sounded hopeful so Minty asked, “Yes?”

Another form was floated down and into her hooves.

“Mmmm… You will also need the ER12 - Request for Expedited Release of Crown Funds. Get it authorised by the Crown Exchequer and bring it when your queue number is called. Mmm... Good day.”

The ER12’s three pages landed in Minty’s hooves and she wanted to scream, tear the forms up and throw the pieces into the air. But, no, that wouldn’t help at all. Minty wasn’t a great wizard, but she knew enough that ripping up forms and flinging them around wouldn’t make the missing folder magically appear. Damn it. So she just sighed, folded up the forms and tucked them into her bag, she’d get through it, it was her job after all. But she didn’t have to like it.

“Fine. Fine! No happy Hearth’s Warming for Rarity, she’ll have to wait until spring to get her money back. Poor Clickspring will have to suffer through having his tests done again if we never find his folder. Great. Just perfect.” Sometimes this job just sucked a whole lot of sweaty donkey balls.

She turned to Jade and grumbled, “Ok. I give up. I’m yours for the rest of the day so let’s...”

“Mmmhrmmm…”

Both mares turned to look over at the grey stallion.

“‘Clickspring’, you say? Mmm…?”

Minty nodded.

“Come.” He stood up and with more energy than he’d shown previously he marched head first into the shelves. Or would have if the shelves hadn’t suddenly glowed and parted in the middle, sending a few pastel coloured forms fluttering through the air.

Minty stood for a moment, stunned by this sudden change, but quickly got her hooves into gear. She wasn’t certain what was going on, but even if this didn’t go anywhere it was certainly more interesting than shovelling old, dusty folders into a bin. Jade apparently agreed and trotted along after her.

A short walk down a dark hallway and they found themselves in a room straight out of a gentlecolt’s club. Rich, dark wooden panelling on the walls, thick purple carpets underhoof, a glistening chandelier overhead and an arrangement of comfy looking sofas in front of a fireplace. Classical music for a string quartet quietly played. Minty wondered how in Equestria they had a fireplace this far below ground, the chimney must be stupidly tall!

As they followed the now energetic stallion into the room a voice called out from one of the plush chairs. “Quire! What’s the hurry?”

“Mmm… Hello, Gloaming. I have a Class B to sort out.”

“Class B?!” A familiar black and white stallion abruptly sat bolt upright, slopping a little brandy out of the glass snifter he was levitating. Mostly onto himself.

“Mr. Gleam!” Minty squealed!

“Minty?” He pointed a moist hoof at her and yelped, “What’s she doing here?” Jade trotted out of the dark hallway and he shook both hooves in their direction. “What are THEY doing here?! Quire! Have you lost your mind?”

The grey stallion—Quire—huffed impatiently and said, “Class B, Gloaming.” He used magic to open a cabinet that stood next to the fireplace and after a moment of searching, he turned around to face Minty. He held a dark orange folder in his magic.

“Miss Minty. Mmm... I believe this is the patient folder you are looking for. ‘Clickspring’ wasn’t it? Mmm…?”

With a little prance, Minty gushed, “Really? O.M.C! That’s awesome! Thank you, Mr. Quire!”

He chuckled at her excited little dance and said, “Mmm… Well, I’m afraid I’m not at liberty to give this to you.”

“What? Nooo… But it’s right there? Why not? Can’t I just have a copy of the T.C.? Please?”

Quire wiggled the folder and smiled, which strangely wasn’t a very comforting sight as only his mouth moved and it bunched up the wrinkles on his muzzle in a disturbing way.

“Mmm… You have something I want, Miss Minty. Perhaps we can mmm trade?”

Jade barked a laugh and said, “I think he means the reimbursement forms, Minty. I bet he doesn’t want to spend weeks in request form Tartarus trying to get a copy either.”

Quire’s creepy smile drooped and he nodded. “That is the case. Mmm… I’ll show you mine if you show me your’s, Miss Minty. Mmm…?”

Minty shuddered at the horrible image that her gutter of a mind sprang on her. She shook her head slightly to clear it. Technically she could get in a lot of trouble sharing her department’s files with him, but then again he was taking the same chance. Wasn’t he? She nodded and reached into her satchel.

“You got a deal.”

As she opened the orange folder Jade leant up against Minty’s side, so she could have a peek. There were only a few pages to look at, apparently arranged in reverse order by date. The first page was a confirmation from Ponyville General Hospital that they had triple-checked their T.C. testing equipment and everything was functioning normally. The next page was a letter from a specialist in Canterlot General requesting the re-check. The final page was Clickspring’s T.C. test results.

Not being a medical pony of any kind, Minty had no idea what she was looking at. She flipped the test results over and checked the back for any notes or clues about what made this into an ominous sounding ‘Class B’ file. Whatever that meant.

“Go back!” Jade tugged the T.C. test out of her magical grasp and flipped it the right way up again. “Huh! Somepony’s running a scam here.”

Minty looked at the page but it still didn’t mean anything to her. “What? Where?”

Jade’s hoof tapped one of the figures on the page and she said, “T.C. of 104 percent? That’s impossible.”

“What? It says 10.4 on his Apprenticeship papers.”

“Like I said; somepony’s running a scam.”

“Mmm… Indeed something most peculiar has occurred here.” Quire held out a hoof and Minty handed him back the patient folder. Hooves weren’t strictly necessary as they were both unicorns, but it was a common gesture for ‘give me something’. Minty held out her own hoof and waited.

But Quire just slipped the expense request into the folder and levitated it away.

“Hey!”

“I am sorry, Miss Minty but this is out of your hooves now. Mmm...”

“You jerk!” Minty scowled and her horn lit up brightly as she tried to grab the folder, but her attempt slid off of the much older unicorn’s tightly controlled magic aura. “I trusted you! Why does everypony in admin have to be such a scumbag?!”

“Mmm… Gloaming?”

Gloaming looked over from where he was sipping on a fresh snifter of brandy. “Yes, sir?”

“Draft a withdrawal of Crown funds for a Miss Rarity. 1,250 bits. Mmm… Have it in tonight’s post to Ponyville.”

“Yes, sir.”

Gloaming started to get up but Quire waved at him to sit. “Finish your brandy first, young colt. Mmm… There’s still time.” He turned back to Minty and asked, “Is that acceptable? Mmm…?”

Minty blinked a few times and then nodded. “Y-yeah. Uh… thank you and… Sorry for calling you a jerk.”

“Not sorry for calling me a ‘scumbag’? Mmm…?”

There was that creepy, wrinkly smile again. Minty shuddered.

“Mmm… I believe the phrase is ‘No worries’? Mmm…? Now if you’ll excuse us?” Quire gestured to the hallway they’d entered the concealed sitting room from.

“What’s going to happen to that little colt though? What’s a ‘Class B’?”

“Mmm… That would be telling.”

“Yeah, that’s why I was asking.” Minty huffed, “Really, what’s going to happen to him? I hate the idea that he’s going to get into some kind of trouble. I mean the poor little guy’s disabled, right?”

Jade poked her in the ribs. “Minty. Did you even read the apprenticeship papers? The guy’s, like, older than your sire.”

“What?! Really?” Minty shrugged and said, “Well, whatever. Nopony should be in trouble because of some weirdness their T.C., right?”

Quire rubbed his chin with one of his hooves and asked, “Mmm… You truly care about this pony’s fate, do you?”

“Yeah, I mean. He and this Rarity lady are kind of clients of mine. I feel like I’ve gotten to know them while we’ve been sorting all of this out.”

Jade giggled and said, “Oh yeah, you’ve gotten to know old man Clickspring real well, filly.”

“Oh! Hush you!” Minty pressed a hoof over Jade’s muzzle and glared at her. She needed to make better friends.

“Mmm…” Quire seemed to ponder things for a few moments while gazing at the two mare’s antics. “Mr. Clickspring isn’t in any trouble, Minty. Mmm… But he will be brought here for re-testing.”

Jade asked, “Brought? As in yer gonna sick some guards on him and drag him in in chains? I mean. 104 T.C.? You’re gonna need some serious restraints if he is some kind of freak superpony, right? That’s what a ‘Class B’ is right? A threat level? Who are you guys? You’re not just some kind of Lost and Found are you?”

“Mmm… That would also be telling. Mmm… but, no. No guards. We will politely invite Mr. Clickspring to attend additional testing. Mmm…”

Gloaming’s empty snifter clinked as he placed it on a side table. “If he refuses our polite invitation, then we send a less polite invitation with some guards.” He hopped up from his comfy looking chair and walked over to where they were standing and waved a hoof at them.

“All right, fillies, it is high-time for you to get back to work. This matter is closed and you should not have been here in the first place.”

Jade looked like she wanted to argue about this, but Minty was feeling a little spooked about how casually these stallions were tossing the whole ‘guard’ thing around. She’d had a few run-ins with Canterlot’s strong hooves and was in no hurry to see the inside of a cell again.

Plus she didn’t want to look lazy in front of her boss. He’d be writing her review after the Fall Rush after all.

She hopped up and turned to go, “Ok, we’re going. Thanks for helping me, Mr. Quire.”

“Mmm…”

Jade caught up to her as she was trotting down the dark hallway. She leant close to Minty and whispered, “Why are you so eager to get back to work?”

Minty glanced over her shoulder before replying, to check that the two stallions weren’t following them. Keeping her voice down she whispered, “Those guys scare me and, well, my job’s done so I just want to get out of here. Ok?”

They both jumped as the wall of forms crashed closed behind them.

Jade pointed to a gap in the piles of folders. “It’s that way. I think.”

Minty nodded and they began threading their way back to the door. After a few minutes, she asked, “Want to go grab a bite to eat? Not hospital stuff, something worth eating.”

“Are you treating?”

“Sure. Thanks for helping me with all of this.”

Jade chuckled, “You’re welcome… but you’re still helping me shift all the dead files.”

“Awww…”

Author's Note

Whew... More characters to introduce in this chapter, but in a good cause; furthering Clickspring's T.C. sub-plot. I like Minty.

As usual, please let me know (PM ideally) if you spot any issues. Mareseed.

Edit: Now with a butt-load of edits courtesy of Cross Lament.