Edgy Doesn't Cut It

by QuinnyOnMain

Rating: everyone
Tags: Dark, Alternate Universe, Original Character, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Comedy
Length: 2223

Someone is transported to Equestria as their red and black evil alicorn OC and soon realizes that maybe some of these character traits are improbable.

Calvin thinks his OC, Blood Moon is a brilliantly written character. He's an alicorn colored in pitch black and bright red, who murdered both Celestia and Luna. He strikes terror into every Pony he sees! His past is too dark to talk about...
At first, he thinks being transported to Equestria would be a fantastic experience where he would have all the power in the world, but maybe some of these things written into his character aren't quite plausible.

Published 2017-03-10 19:00:01 UTC
Last updated 2017-03-14 22:37:21 UTC

Equestria Shall Forever Be... Not Mine?

Why aren't you quivering in fear? Cower! I am the reckoning of your very reality! Watch me dominate you with my magic! Any second now...

Calvin excitedly burst into his room with a charm from a dubious dealer who seemed to just want to get rid of their things. He didn't care much about that though, a magical charm, just like his OC had. Sure, it was a little bright and colorful, but supposedly it was magic nonetheless. He looked into the eyes of the picture of Tirek on the poster pinned to his wall. Maybe, just maybe he could be the successful version of that threatening of a character.

Calvin clutched the charm, "I, Calvin Clark, bear this charm. Its power is bestowed upon me, and I will use it for nothing but personal gain!"

The charm glowed until the room was bathed in white. Soon, it became impossible to see anything. Before long, everything faded to darkness. It was like that for a while, and Calvin wondered if the light had blinded him. Then, he opened his eyes and looked around. It was just he normal center of Ponyville, with a few mates scattered around, talking to each other.

"Wait, what?!?!" Calvin screamed aloud.

One of the mares walked over, "Oh, hello there. Are you okay?"

Calvin sat up, looking at his hooves, and back up at the mare.

"What the, where... how?!?! Ohhhh..." He had a sudden realization of what had happened.

The amulet must've transported him to Equestria as his Character. He was no longer Calvin Clark, average teen. He was Blood Moon, all powerful alicorn! He would be the first to completely take over Equestria.

The mare raised an eyebrow, "Did you hit your head or something?"

"Wait, why aren't you afraid of me?" Asked Blood Moon.

She only looked more confused, "Should I be? You seem pretty harmless to me."

"Harmless? Harmless?!?! I, the all powerful Blood Moon shall smite you for that little remark! All shall remember the day Blood Moon first started his calamity of all! You ponies shall grow to fear me!" Blood Moon felt power rising through his horn.

The mare began to laugh, "Oh I get it, you're a street comedian, right?"

"C-comedian?! How dare you! I will kill you! Right... now!" His horn sprayed a few sparkles into the air.

She chuckled more, "Good Luna, your act is amazing. You should go into professional comedy."

"Just... just wait a second, it's going to take a bit... I think..." Another poof sparked out of the horn and the power faded.

The mare laughed herself to coughing and pulled a few bits out, giving them to Blood Moon, "You're really good. Have these. I need to get to other things. Thanks for making me laugh.

Blood Moon pathetically watched the mare walk away. She wasn't afraid, or even the slightest bit uneasy. Not even the immense power of his magic could strike fear into her. What could he have been doing wrong? He stepped off of the bench and promptly fell flat on his face in the grass. Perhaps the first rule of order would be to learn how being a pony works, starting with standing and walking. He manipulated his hooves to support his weight, and shakily took a few steps. He started repeating his steps until he was slowly walking. Moon wondered where he might first go. He thought of where he lived, so he proceeded to the Everfree Forest.

Once he made his way to where his house would've been, he was shocked to see the empty space. He screamed in frustration, hearing his voice echo through the forest. A green set of glowing eyes opened in the shadows before him. It was a Timber Wolf. He began to sprint in the opposite direction, hearing its wooden paws thump against the ground behind him.

"HELP! HELP! HELP! HELP! HELP! SOMEPONY HELP ME!" He screamed at the top of his lungs.

As he galloped into the town square of Ponyville, he heard a magical blast and wood splintering. He stopped and looked around to see what was a Timber Wolf smoldering on the ground, and a purple alicorn who had just taken it out.

She looked at him, "Are you okay?"

"Hahaha... heh..." Moon fainted.

Once he awoke, he felt an extremely comfortable bed and saw what looked to be a crystal room around him. Moon marveled at the architecture that he figured was naturally created, having watched the show. Slowly, he got out of the bed and shyly exited the room. Following corridors, he navigated the structure. Soon, it became apparent to him that he had no idea where in the castle he was. He heard a few noises from a nearby room and began to open its door. Once inside, he saw it was an enormous library. There were tall bookshelves all the way around the room. In the center was a circular table with the alicorn that had saved his life reading a book at it.

A baby dragon looked up at Moon, "Twilight? He's awake..."

"Oh, hello, I'm Twilight Sparkle, the Princess of friendship. I've never seen you around, what's your name?" Asked the mare.

Moon blushed at the mare, girls in the human world never really talked to him, "I-I'm Twil-err... Blood Moon. My name is Blood Moon. N-nice to meet you, Princess..."

"Nervous much?" Muttered the dragon under his breath.

Blood Moon glared at him, "Shut up!"

Twilight struggled to not laugh.

"Why does every single pony I meet have to laugh at me?" Moon sulked.

"You mean you're not a comedian?" Asked the dragon.

Moon had an idea, "Well, yeah, yeah I am, but I'm not always joking."

"Were you joking when you threatened BonBon earlier?" Asked Twilight.

He cleared his throat, "Yes. Yes I was, and she seemed to enjoy my act."

Moon stepped further inside and sat down next to Twilight.

"So, what are you reading?" Asked the stallion.

She smiled, "The newest A.K. Yearling book. Her own parody of Daring Do, Daring Don't."

"She wrote a parody of her own book?" He asked.

Twilight nodded, "She's never been known to take herself completely seriously, that's part of why she's a good author. It would never be this interesting if it were just a transcript of her adventures."

"Wait, are you saying they actually happened?" He acted intelligent, when in reality he had just remembered the show.

Twilight nervously laughed, "No, who ever said that? I didn't say that. Spike? Did you say that?"

"I don't have a place to stay..." Moon stated out of the blue.

Twilight's face straightened, "Well, I can provide a roof over your head, but I do expect you to pull your weight. Spike can tell you what chores to do and supervise. Alright?"

Moon nodded his head. Maybe, he would win Twilight over before taking over Equestria. He knew his empire did need an empress. Maybe his rule wouldn't be in solitude.

Author's Note

No, Blood Moon won't always be so bent on taking over Equestria.

Learn Some Magic, Will Ya?

How do I perform this basic function again?

Spike lead Moon to a bathroom of the castle, telling him to clean the floor with the mop propped up against the wall. Moon awkwardly bumped it around for a few minutes with his hooves, watching it fall down to the floor.

"Just use your magic." Spike rolled his eyes.

Moon nervously laughed, "I sorta don't know how..."

"What do you mean you don't know how?" He asked.

Moon looked at the baby dragon, "I mean I don't know how."

"Come on... I don't know how you don't know already, but Twilight could probably help you out." Spike started walking down the corridor.

The two made it back to the library and stepped inside. Twilight looked a bit surprised as the approached her.

She raised an eyebrow, "Are you already done?"

"No, Blood Moon here doesn't know how to properly use magic." Spike explained.

She looked at Moon, "Is this true?"

"Well... yeah, just a little bit, yeah..." Moon rubbed the back of his head.

The mare cocked her head to the side in confusion, "Well you're an alicorn, right? You did earn that somehow, right?"

"About that... I was born like this, so yeah..." The stallion nervously explained.

This only puzzled Twilight more, "Then why didn't they nurture your magic potential, and to that end, why haven't I heard of you?"

"I don't know, honestly. I really can't tell you anything about my past." He stated.

She probed, "Why not?"

"Because I'm written as a two-dimensional character." Moon admitted.

There was an awkward silence for a time. The three starred at each other not really knowing what to say. Twilight magically levitated several magic training books from the shelves, setting them down on the tables.

The mare looked at Moon, "Let's start with the basics. Focusing on levitation, then we'll move to higher levels."

"Sounds good." Blood Moon agreed, stepping forward.

He focused on the books, shakily levitating them for a short while, opening them as they began to rotate around him. He wasn't getting any tangible information from them, but it mattered not now. He felt powerful, as he watched the blood red aura illuminating the books. This was where his reign of terror would begin. This would be the rise of Blood Moon, the most feared of all! Before long, the alicorn's magic fizzled out, causing the books to fall to the floor.

Twilight glared, "Maybe start by READING one of the books?!"

"They uhh... they fell down... why'd they fall down?" The stallion blubbered.

The Princess of friendship buried her face in her hooves, "Maybe because you don't know how. Start at the beginning." She levitated one book up to the table, "Beginner's magic. Because you're a beginner. You weren't even using a correct stance. Now read it, and we'll go from there. Got it?"

"Y-yes ma'am..." He recoiled.

Moon began with the first paragraph of the book, it was on stance. He realized he was using standing magic all wrong. Ponies needed very solid, planted hooves to adequately use magic while standing. Moon had previously gone with a relaxed stance, which was likely why he wasn't able to hold the books up for more than about ten seconds. Twilight, being of higher affinity for magic for the time being, would've been able to easily pull off a simple trick like that. He read further and realized he couldn't fire a powerful pulse when sitting, it was magically impossible.

Once he made it about halfway through the chapter, Moon stood with his hooves firmly planted on the crystalline floor. He concentrated hard on the book, closing his eyes as he felt the magic flow through him to his horn. He now understood that magic using ponies didn't produce magic, they manipulated it. Those with higher magic ability could draw more through themselves and manipulate it. Opening his eyes to look at the book, he watched a more stable red aura surround it. He lifted it from the table and brought it closer. Feeling his horn spark a few times, he knew this was the extent of his magical stamina as of yet, so he gently set the book back down.

Once he released the magic, the stallion felt a surge of comfort as his stamina started to regain. He looked up at Twilight who gave an approving nod. He had done it, he used magic for the first time! It may have not been advanced, but he would soon learn and develop. He knew he could soon be the threatening figure he had hoped to be, though he would have to start by working up to being able to do chores. He began reading the book more, studying it intently, and by the end of the day, he would have completely read through. He would be ready to show the Princess of friendship what he could do. Maybe he could start with expanding his magic stamina, as it seemed to be the most useful thing as of yet.

Blood Moon closed the book and backed away, lifting it up and holding it in place. It stayed there for one minute before he dropped it, breathing heavily in exhaustion. Physically, he felt just fine, but running his magic stamina dry created the feeling of a great weight on his shoulders until it returned to normal. Once it did, he levitated the book again, this time holding it up for a minute and a half before dropping it. He was surprised at the quick and incremental change in his stamina, it was interesting, and Moon wanted to learn more about it.

He repeated the process several times, until he could hold the book up for five minutes straight, and that was when Twilight stopped him and told him to sit down and get some rest. Moon didn't argue, he was getting tired, and not just magically. The next day, he would work to make his stamina even longer.

Author's Note

This one was based on fewer jokes about edginess and more about a fan's perception of the MLP universe and how it's different.