The Best Human in Equestria Story Ever

by moviemaster8510

Rating: mature
Tags: Main 6, Gore, Slice of Life, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Romance, Princess Luna, Original Character, Comedy, Adventure, Shining Armor, Princess Celestia, Sex, Human
Length: 990

A young man is given the chance of a lifetime when he is whisked away to the land of Equestria.

A young man is given the chance of a lifetime when he is whisked away to the land of Equestria. After meeting the ponies that live there, he goes on an epic adventure with his new friends.
Based on a true story.

Published 2012-07-08 16:44:01 UTC
Last updated 2012-07-08 16:44:01 UTC

The Journey Begins

I was jerking off to a picture of your aunt on Facebook when my penis began acting fucking weird. It started wobbling on its own, which I thought was sexy as shit, so I started fingering my asshole. Suddenly, my penis started growing pink-ass hair. It turned into some pony thing that I may have heard about. She slid her asshole off of my penis and began sucking it. I was so turned on that I kicked this bitch right in the taco. Pinkie Pie came so hard that her pussy became a rocket that flew us out of her window and into space. Pinkie Pie was still sucking my penis as we continue to fuck towards the sun.

The sun turned into a giant vagina and swallowed us up, where I found that we were flying over a colorful little town full of fuckable little ponies. As we got closer to the town, I punched Pinkie Pie in the face until the cunt took her mouth off of my penis. Pinkie ran away laughing.

“Wow,” said Rarity. “No one’s ever face-fucked Pinkie Pie with their fist before.”

She then ran up to me and began sucking my penis with her vagina. Twilight Sparkle then levitated the both of us in the air and began fucking my asshole with her horn. Rainbow Dash then shoved her cunt in my face until the lips of her vagina were around my neck.

“Hey look everybody,” I shouted. “I have a mask on.”

Everyone laughed so hard that they all grew penises. I came on Rarity’s new penis, while Rainbow Dash came on my face, while Twilight came in my asshole with her horn. Suddenly, I started turning inside out from my asshole until I turned into a pony with a 30 inch penis. Applejack got excited and began shoving my penis inside her asshole. She continued to shove my penis in her asshole until the head of my penis poked out of her throat. Applejack then licked the head of my penis with her tongue, causing me to cum from my penis and out of her mouth. Fluttershy ran to the puddle of jizz on the floor and tried lapping it up. All of the sudden, Shining Armor came out of nowhere and impaled that stupid bitch with his horn.

“Thank Captain Crunch,” I said. “I was so sick of that cunt.”

“Me too,” said Shining Armor.

I then chewed Shining Armor’s asshole until he came all over my eyes.

“So what do you want to do now?” asked Rainbow Dash as she rubbed her penis against my penis.

“I dunno,” I gargled with Applejack’s penis in my mouth. “I wanna kill some stuff.”

“It. Is. On!” exclaimed Rarity as she came a gallon of sour cream from her penis.

“By the way,” said Pinkie Pie to you the reader. “Click on each link and listen each video at the same time in a different tab. Do it, or I’ll murder your ass.”

I went to the school yard with Applejack and fucking knocked the door down with my penis.

“Hey, you little fuckers,” I shouted. “It’s time to play ‘Smack Your Little Fucker Faces with My Penis Until You Fucking DIE!’”

I then spun like a ballerina all gay and smacked each one of their little fucker faces with my penis until they fucking DIED! Cheerilee was so fucking turned on that she turned into a fucking dog and exploded.

I then went to Sweet Apple Acres and shoved my cock into the barn causing it to explode. Granny Smith died because I fucking said so, and then Winona ran out of the house with her erect elephant penis and fucked Applejack raw. Big Macintosh hopped on his penis like a goddamned pogo stick and jackhammered my asshole because I’m apparently gay now. And then we had gay sex until we came all over the apples.

I shoved my hoof into Big Mac’s rubber cheerio, which made him exhale really fucking hard. All of the apples were fucking plucked from the trees until they were sucked into his mouth-fucking hole. Big Mac then jumped into the air until we were in space.

With my body firmly snug in Big Macintosh’s asshole, we plummeted back towards the earth. I was so excited that my tits came. As we were about to get fucking destroyed by the earth, Applejack stuck her ass out and we fell into her asshole and flew out of her penis and towards Pony-fucking-ville.

Actually, that never happened and if you did think that, you’re fucking dumb. They flew towards Canter-fucking-lot where Princess Celestia was having sex with Princess Luna’s penis. Big Mac and I found the two princesses fucking and decided to fuck them right in the penises.

Princess Celestia came so hard that Equestria fucking exploded, and by fucking exploded, I mean everypony turned into a fucking fish, except for me because I’m fucking awesome. I then said the magic words.

“I wish, I wish, to use this rhyme, to go back home until next time.”

My penis grew to the size of a planet and floated towards the sun. The sun turned back into a vagina and let me fuck it. I fucked the sun and made it my bitch. The sun came so hard that it fucking supernovaed all over my fucking penis and sucked me into a black hole.

I woke up back in my bedroom feeling sweaty and wet. I then woke up and found that I had a vagina. I was so happy that I ran downstairs to my grandma’s sex chamber and shoved C4 into my tight, little cunt. I ran across the street and kicked my neighbor’s asshole dog in the penis before I detonated the C4 and ended the fucking universe.

And that’s how I took your sister’s virginity.

The End, you FUCKING CUNTS!!!!!