How my life became bright
I came home from school one day. I decided to look at my phone at the Build A Bear website. I saw a one of kind doll there. She was an online exclusive. It was Derpy Hooves (or Muffins). I showed it to my mother. Together we both did what we could to make her my own.
When the order was finished, I knew there was nothing to do but wait. I hoped she would come very soon.
She felt the world was to be a very dark place as she was being made. The people put a funny looking thing in her, stuffed her, and gave her a red weird looking shape in her.
She was put in a box that was shortly put inside another box. Even before then the world was dark to her.
She felt scared so she started to cry.
She wonder why anyone would choose her for a new home. I was waiting impatiently for my little treasure to come. Checking on when she has been shipped from the shop.
I spent every day just thinking about her. At school, at home, even on the bus.
I even thought about her during classes.
She felt a little scared, crying all the times she was being lifted into something. All that time she felt her box being lifted, slid, bumped, and landing. She still wondered what her new home will be like. If it was full of toys, if they would like her, and who is the person who got her.
I had a feeling that my new baby might've been lost in the mail, or delivered to the wrong address. Whether the reason she was lost or delivered to somewhere else, I still hoped she would come.
She felt her box being lifted again. It was being put in a big thing full of other boxes. The truck drove for many miles. For what she felt like hours, days, or weeks of being in the dark, she felt her box being lifted again.
The nice man carefully held her in his hands even when the mean doggies started to bark. She felt her box being handed to somebody else who put her into a room, but everything was still dark to her.
I was in school, still wondering when my little treasure will come. I was having a day where I knew that no matter where she is, I'll wait for her. I had a meeting all by myself.
I had lunch and had classes for the school play that was happening at Christmastime the following few months.
When school had finally let out, I felt proud that I had done things that I'd never thought I can do. The bus dropped me off at my house.
I went to my room, and there was a box on my bed. I picked up the box, got my Leatherman, pulled out the scissors, and cut open the box. I opened the other box.
"Muffin!"
She saw light, her vision was blurry at first, but her eyes both focused on my face. One on my forehead and the other on my face.
"Mama!"
I took the rubber bands out of her mane and tail and brushed them. She loved how the brush felt.
I couldn't wait to show her to my friends at school the next day.
But I was sick and had to stay home home for a few days. Derpy stayed by my side the whole time. She felt so loving to me.
When I got better, Derpy and I went to school.
When she was born, I wrote down August 2nd as her birthday, wrote Derpy Hooves as her name, and wrote my name all down on her birth certificate.
I let her sleep with me that night, and for many nights after. She loves sleeping with me and I love sleeping with her.
The weekend came, and I decided to let Muffin (or Derpy) to spend the night at Grandma's with me.
We did lots of fun stuff that weekend.
Derpy and I really do lots of fun stuff together. Her favorite things are when we to go school and when we bake muffins. Her favorite holiday is Christmas because it was her very first one ever and she loved it.
She listened very carefully as I told her everything about Christmas. I told her about the joy of giving and about Jesus' birth. I told her about the North Pole, the elves and reindeer, and most importantly, Santa Claus.
Derpy hoped that Santa will visit very soon.
I told her that he doesn't come until Christmas Eve. The days we counted for Santa's flight were great.
When it was launch I kept a close eye on Santa. Just like clockwork as always.
The next morning, Muffin said, "Mama! Mama! Wake up! Wake up! It's Christmas! Santa's been here! Let's go see what he brought!"
Her first Christmas Eve and Christmas were the best.
Now her very first St. Patrick's Day is coming. Her very first Easter is not far behind. Her very first Mother's Day will come. She'll celebrate my birthday with me.
And most importantly, soon it will be her very first birthday.
It seems just like yesterday. When she came into my life. When she was brand new.
Just like yesterday when she asked me, "Mama?"
"Yes Muffin?"
"Why do you call me that?"
"Call you what?"
"Muffin."
"Because you're as sweet as a muffin. And I love you."
She has been so wonderful to me.
Some of friends don't understand why she means so much to me. One of them even said that she's just a doll and she has no feelings. She cried. I told her that she means so much to me than just a simple doll.
Sometimes she gets very curious about the things around her. She asks me questions about the things she wants to know.
She's really looking forward to Easter.
I told her about the day Jesus rose from the dead, and the Easter Bunny.
She hopes that the Easter Bunny will come. She knows he'll be very happy to visit our house.
She might wonder about the Fourth of July, too.
She and I love doing things together, such as school, Grandma's house, and holidays.
She will have the best birthday ever.
I might tell her someday, that she gave me the best Mother's Day present I could have ask for several years ago when she came into this world.
But for now I let her be herself.
She's Mama's Little Muffin.
Sometimes I wish I could be someone as wonderful as you.
The way that others see it, too.
I wish I could be clever.
I wish I could be wise.
I don't want to change your lovely eyes.
But my fondest wish is greater than before.
And that's for the Muffin I adore.
Don't cry for me my dearest I'll be fine.
I just want you for me.
To be the pony I've always known you'll be.
But my wish is for you I'll always pine.
Please don't forget me.
That way you're always mine.
Muffin, I hope you'll realize that you mean so much to me than anything else in the world. You never have to worry when I cry. It's not because of you, but it's because people just don't understand. They don't know what's it's like to be someone like me. Believing toys can really do things like we do.
When I look at you, I see a beautiful, kind, smart, independent, confident, young pony.
You are not a doll. You're my daughter.
And I love you dearly.
I love you with all my heart.
You mean the world to me. And I know you love me back.
Let not the world tell you that you mean nothing to anybody or that you are not meant to be here. You are so wonderful to me.
I hope that someday that everyone will see you the way I do. Maybe someday.
When we do things together, I see laughter and happiness in you.
What makes you wonderful is that you love the same things as I do. We share many things.
I know that you can do.
But what makes you the best daughter in the world is because you're my daughter.
And nobody else is special, like you.
