"SCREEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAA!!!"
"Quiet down Dr. Bubbles." The regal voice of Princess Luna demanded as she entered the dungeon. Keeping Dr. Bubbles in the deepest dungeon possible was not Luna's choice, her sister was quite adamant that Dr. Bubbles stay far away from the surface. Though, even Luna knew her dear vulture was a bloodthirsty beast who'd gladly eat a pony's small intestine. A rattling sound broke Luna out of her train of thought, only to realize it was Dr. Bubbles pulling on his restraints again. Luna looked intently at her purple... Vulture, noticing some important details were missing. "It seems a certain Doctor dropped their clothes." Luna chirped as she levitated an oversized monocle and top-hat off of the dungeon floor.
Dr. Bubbles growled forcefully at the dark blue thing in front of him. He was Ridley, one of the High Command of the Space Pirates and one major force to be reckoned with. He had raided multiple planets back home and even cheated death three times. He was back in his prime, a fully functioning body that could decimate armies at a time. Now, he was confined in this horrible new world, locked in this horrible dungeon, and being pampered by this horrible four-legged being. He's forced to wear this cheap helmet and odd eye visor thing, forced to drink this odd liquid from a tiny cup, and forced to listen to this annoying pest drone about her life.
Luna's horn glowed and a pile of dead swine lay near Dr. Bubbles. The reptilian monster's growling ceased, looking down at the fresh meat his captor brought for him. Wasting no time, Dr. Bubbles began digging into his pile of food and ripped the flesh off a dead pig. Stretching her wings, Luna flew on top of her pet's top-hat and rested on it, observing the fleshy bits flying around the room. She smiled at Dr. Bubbles, always amused at the carnivorous instincts of non-herbivorous creatures. "Eat your fill Bubbly Wubbly! We brought them all the way from Trottingham." Luna cooed at her vicious pet.
Bubbly Wubbly growled as he slurped a pig's intestines like Capellini. His slave name kept changing every time his wretched master came in his prison. How he wished he could just burn this blue worm and fly out of this penal institution with the speed of light. Unfortunately, after being detained by his slave driver, Wubbly was subjugated to odd magical spells that ceased his ability of flight and production of flames. Being here, listening to a being talk to him over and over and over, made him reminisce of his time back home.
Decimating colony's was more fun than what Bubbl-no, Ridley, had to deal with now. Facing a bounty hunter with an arsenal of death weapons would be considered a picnic now. Ridley, deeply enraged by his horrible fate, ate the pigs faster than needed. Of course, due to this recklessness, some pigs feet got stuck in his throat and the pirate started making this gaging noise.
Luna lowered her eyes at Bubbly Wubbly's and had a look of pure horror. Using her magic, the pigs feet were transported away from Wubbly's throat, allowing him to inhale precious air. Luna sighed in relief, she would have to deal with the angry sun guards, but she needed to put those things somewhere. "Oh Bubbler Grubbler," She flew down to look at her poor vulture, "You know not to eat so fast, your widdle neck can't hold that much meat."
GRUBBL- ugh, whatever, Ridley couldn't care about another outrageous nickname, he was too busy breathing. While he certainly held contempt for the being in front of him, Ridley nodded his head and slightly nudged her. It was his way of saying thanks and showing, eck, affection, to the creature that held him captive. He considered the idea that perhaps showing no fondness would make him boring, thus leading to an early death so his master may find a new pet. Therefore, Ridley would nudge his new master, though not happy with it. Luna, using her godlike magic, conjured up a luminescent bucket and filled said bucket with water. Again, Luna would have to deal with Celestia's stern look of judgement, as no doubt her sister would get news of another river being drained.
Alas, nothing would come between her and the purple freak she kept locked in her equivalent of a closet.
Ridley drank the water greedily, acting as if water was a luxury to receive (it actually was, Luna is very forgetful). Luna's smile grew as he drank up, happy her vulture was functioning so well. She looked down and thought about what she came down here for, besides trying to bombard her pet with cuddles. Her face grew grim and her ears drooped down her head as she remembered just what she wanted to confide.
"Bubble Bike." Luna began, gaining the attention of a very perplexed purple... Purple. "These last few months with you, they may just be the best we've had in awhile. You see, when we were a few, well, make that a lot of decades younger, we felt alone. The subjects that graze outside this castle looked up to and adored our sister, while we sat behind her shadow. We, no... I felt so Unwanted, so I did something foolish, and it costed me everything. Yet, I was given another chance by the ponies that I nearly enslaved. However, as I settle back into life on the throne, I begin to feel that same loneliness creep back in where it doesn't belong.
"Then, you came in, crashing through the wall, as if it was a message from the divines above. I had seen my sister play many times with her pet phoenix, and even the elements of harmony had their animal companions to love and care for when the state of our country wasn't on the fritz. So, naturally, I thought of you as the perfect confidant to be with me during my times alone. Then... I started cooping you up down here. My sister wished for me to do so and I did, without so much as thinking of your feelings."
Luna was getting teary eyed, nearly trembling in her hoofs as she thought of the many times her pet would struggle on all the chains. Ridley watched the spectacle and felt something in his gut. It was warm, and each time Ridley would glance back at Luna, it would get warmer and warmer. No, surely the Great and Powerful Ridley was not feeling compassion! Impossible, Ridley was a stone cold killer, but even so, he couldn't shake the fuzzy nonsense in his stomach.
"I promise you Bub," Luna finally spoke up after summoning a tissue, "I will take you outside whether my sister likes it or not. It is not right to keep you here forever!" Suddenly, Luna felt a presence near her. She opened her eyes to see, Egads, her pet! He seemed to be beckoning her on his snout. Luna noticed this and her smile was back in full force, with a new set of tears to match. She wrapped her forelegs around the snout and just cuddled, not caring to stop anytime soon. "I love you, Bubby." She cooed, nuzzling into the snout with all her might.
Ridley stayed motionless as his master cried on him. Perhaps being her pet wouldn't be so bad after all. Maybe, just maybe, Ridley could get used to this life.
After careful consideration, no, he couldn't.
Ridley screeched as he perched on another building in the city of Canterlot. The streets were burning and the ponies were running for shelter. Ridley jabbed his jagged tail into a building and demolished it, sending a pony flying in his bathtub. His yellow eyes glowed with excitement a he roared up to the sky. No one cages a space pirate no one, not even royalty themselves. Ridley was back, baby!
Back at the castle, Luna paced back and forth as her former pet went about destroying her city. "Maybe it's just a phase, something he needs to get out before, before!" Luna was in hysterics, her mane was messy and her eyes were bloodshot. Metallic hoofsteps echoed throughout the hallway, not helping the panic attack the Princess of the Night was currently having. She looked to see her regal, extinguished, and beloved sister wearing an orange set of futuristic armor and a red helmet.
"Well sister, as you know, I am not the pony to tell you that I told you so, but seeing as your 'pet' is making chopped liver of our subjects, I think I have the right to do so afterwards." The soothing voice of Princess Celestia was blocked by a more static voice coming from the helmet.
Luna looked at her sister "Ah, we see you've brought out the old armor sister, we also see you haven't found a better spot for the 'Sun Demolishing Sparkle Beam Mk. V'." She stated, gesturing to the cannon that was were Celestia's right front leg should be. Celestia hobbled up to her sister with three hooves and looked at her sister with a loving gaze.
"Don't break what's not broken, my dear sister," Celestia attempted her best to nuzzle the top of Luna's head, "And listen, if you really wanted a pet so bad, you could have just told me."
"I know sister," Luna stated with a small smile on her muzzle, "But Bub Crub was the perfect vulture-"
"Space Dragon!" Celestia snapped and started moving near the door to the castle. "Honestly, you were around when I exterminated them, at least remember their species name." Celestia unfurled her wings and prepared to take off. "Now, I gotta go neuter, what's his name again, Bubbles, that's it." And with that, Celestia burst off in lighting fast speeds to take out the rampaging... Space Dragon. Luna called out to her sister in her royal Canterlot voice.
"HIS NAME IS 'THE TUBBLE FORMALLY KNOWN AS BUBBLE'!!!"
Author's Note
The last Ridley is dead. The galaxy is at peace...
