Squeal

by Meinos Kaen

Rating: everyone
Tags: My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Comedy, Slice of Life, Main 6
Length: 8418

You would think it'd be easy... But adorableness is just one side of the story.

"It is ready!" On the other side of the world, an evil mastermind laughed in glee as he showed his faithful minion his latest creation. "This material... It is the ultimate defense! The truly unbreakable glass!"

"Superb, my liege! Nothing in existence can destroy it?!"

"Aaaah, but there exists my genius! I purposely gave it a weakness against something so that it would be strong against everything else!"

"Huuuu, I don't think materials work like a person's five senses, my-"

"A sound that no human being in the world has ever made and no one will ever utter! Mwahahahahahah-" The glass panel suddenly shattered in a bajillion pieces. The two lab-coat wearing men stared.

"... Should we maybe go back to project phase, my liege?"

-

The vectors used in the picture are the creation of ColdBologna.

Published 2012-07-07 08:14:02 UTC
Last updated 2013-01-24 00:13:00 UTC

Day 0

Almost time. The seconds separating him from freedom were ticking away as he moved from one end of the enclosed room to the other. Sharp objects were replaced in their holsters, heavy bludgeons put in their rightful positions. Finally, he donned his protective garments and waited for the signal, his body taut. The numbers clicked away in crimson light, and suddenly...

"YES!" He trusted his fist in the air in sign of victory and swiped the magnetic card.

"Wow, Tony. I don't think I've ever seen anyone that happy of going on vacation." His colleague Terry commented witnessing his burst of enthusiasm. He grinned sheepishly, embarrassed. "What? That tired of wearing a tie?"

"Well, it's not that... Only. The vacation, not the tie." He confessed, and then rubbed his hands together. "Let's just say that today, other than the start of two weeks of paid vacation, it's also the day something happens."

"Something?"

"Something." Tony confirmed with a nod, adjusting the strap of his bag over his right shoulder. "See you in two weeks!"

"O-Kay. Have a nice vacation!" The brown-haired man smirked in reply and headed for the exit, a skip in his step.

-MyLittlePony-

Never had one been driving so recklessly in that road before. There had been speedsters, but Tony had actually broke into a drift on the last turn before the road of his home and only slowed down when it was time to park his car. As he got out, he immediately sought out his neighbor. "Hey, Wally! How's the family?!"

"Tony, welcome back! The missus is fine, so is the cooking! A few more years, they will have to custom make my coffin!" The man in his fifties laughed, a few droplets of water from his hose splashing his grown belly.

"Can see that. Hey, did a courier come while I was away, by any chance?"

"Nope. Would have noticed... Or maybe not! The missus felt frisky, this morning!" Tony did not share a hearty laugh with the pudgy man, since imagining Wally having sex with his strangely hot wife sent his mind in the deepest, coldest recesses of hell. Yes, because, going by Dante, the lowest level of hell is actually an icy lake, reserved for traitors.

"That was... Way too much information, Wally." He suppressed a shudder and forced a small smile. "Thanks anyway."

"Ye're welcome! Hey, want to join me and Carol for a drink in the garden?" He sighed. Good old Wally. Best neighbor one could have, barring the mental images. And his wife Carol was one hell of a cook.

"Is there gonna be pie?" Wally answered with a thumbs up. Fatty on MILF images forgotten, Tony grinned. "Give me an hour to get freshened up and a change of clothes."

"Sweet!" With one last wave, Tony moved from the driveway to his front door, and then into his home.

"Honey, I'm home!" He shouted out loud, the words echoing in the room, receiving no answer. There was no one to reply, after all. 'Have to practice, though.' He chuckled with a grin, removing his shoes as he made his way to the bathroom, and thus a steamy shower.

Dinner and the ring had cost him a whole paycheck, but had it been worth it. Also, long overdue. Six years together. He sighed, reminiscing miscellaneous events as he took his shower and rinsed his hair. As he removed his bathrobe, the phone started ringing. He looked at the call ID and smiled. "I have to warn you, miss. I'm engaged."

"Oh, my. Does that mean my cunning plan to meet for dinner is suddenly ruined?" He rolled his eyes.

"Cass, already told you it's a no-no for today." He answered, brushing off the last leftover water from his body.

"Come oooon... Is it because of that package you're expecting?" He could hear her sigh over the line, but there was no helping it. He always was in no shape to meet anyone whenever he received one of those packages.

"My mind would be elsewhere. Wouldn't be fair to you." Whenever he ordered something particular, he would be calm and relaxed until the day of the delivery. And then he would be able to think of nothing but for at least 24 hours. "I'll make it up to you, promise. As always."

"Okaaaay... Can you at least tell me what it is?"

"I'll show you next time you come by. Which may or may not be next friday, when we're supposed to depart for my parents' home so I can introduce my beautiful fiancee to them?" He grinned and he could imagine her face reddening up. One of the many reasons he was head over heels for her. How many people still honest to god blush, nowadays?

"Okay, smooth operator. I guess I'll leave you to your hobbies. Love you." He sighed blissfully.

"Love you too." That was another thing he loved her for. Well, it was the basics for a good relationship: do not keep anything from each other, always be truthful. He never hid anything in his home that showed any connection to his hobbies. Not that he paraded them around, but he never hesitated to answer truthfully to any questions pertaining them.

It had been hell for a while, until he met Cassandra. Other than a round of laughter, she didn't react in any other way. She just went with it. It had been the best feeling ever. Especially after some previous incidents. One girl had gone as far as running back to the door and out of the house. Another had called the police on him. He frowned.

"Still wonder which asshole and/or idiot first spread the rumor that bronies are a community of child molesters, of all things." His anger disappeared as he laid eyes on his collection.

It wasn't a big one, he had no use for figurines, but what he liked? Plushies. Soft, comfy, accurate plushies. Sure, maybe he shouldn't keep them on his bed in plain sight, but that's where they belonged. After watching the show, he got the sudden, unrelenting urge to hug a pony to death... Well, to love and tolerance, and to blissful sleep. Since he couldn't get one, he settled for the next best thing. And today, he mused as he petted his Sweetie Belle plushie, he was going to receive the bestest of next best things.

A live-size Rainbow Dash plushie!

-MyLittlePony-

"Alright. Last package of the day..." The middle aged man scratched his head as he observed the large package in his van, which had way too many warnings about keeping the thing horizontal and not shake it. He had learned long ago to listen to the damn writings, lest you broke something fragile and got in big trouble for it. The package was weird, though. Not because of its size, or the warnings or its weight. No, for one simple, evident reason.

The package had holes. Hand made. Like something in it needed air. But they didn't ship live animals, nor did they ship perishables... Well, he'd never transported perishables. He shrugged his shoulders. As he said, last delivery. A little more, and it would be out of old Mike's hands.

As he slammed the door of the van shut again, he missed the choked whimpers which echoed from the package.

-MyLittlePony-

"More lemonade, Tony?"

"Thanks, Carol. You're the best." The young man replied, enjoying the fresh June afternoon air. Aaaand the accidental peek down the older woman's neckline as she poured him lemonade. 'I may be engaged, but that doesn't mean I’ve suddenly become blind to hot bodies.' And good thing. Becoming blind to Cassandra would be hell on earth.

"So, what do you have planned for these two weeks of vacation?" Wally asked, wiping away crumbles of pie from his lips with a napkin.

"Hmm, nothing specific. Except for this weekend. Going to visit my parents with Cassandra." Tony reclined on the chair as Carol took a seat, and promptly brought the refilled glass of lemonade to his lips. He so had to ask her what she put into it. There was something in it that wasn't lemons, or sugar. "Gotta tell them about the big step."

"How are they, by the way? It's been years since we last saw them." Carol asked, smiling.

"Heh, they're well. Living the life, as they say." The reason why he lived alone in a two stories house was because his parents had, after a stroke of luck on a surgically aimed investment otherwise known as winning the freaking lottery, decided to make their vacation home their only home. He decided to stay behind, against their offerings. He'd declared he'd partake in their newfound fortune only after they croaked. Actual quote. Also, he couldn't just up and leave Cassandra and his job.

"Good for-Oh." Carol stopped talking and smiled, looking behind his shoulders. "Looks like your package has arrived."

He turned around so fast that he actually risked whiplash. He gasped and then grinned as he took in the van parking in front of his home. He got up and smooched Carol on the cheek and patted Wally on the shoulder. "Thanks for the company, guys!" He took a running start and jumped over the fence that separated the couple's garden from the rest of the world. "Hey! I'm home, I'm home!"

"Oh, hello there, boy." Mike had become something of a regular around Tony's home, since he had ordered lots of things on the internet over the last few years. Automatically, he handed over the parcel for the young man to sign. "Big package, this one."

"Too much for you?" He grinned, and the older man, in answer, trust open the van's back-door and reached inside for the package, grabbing it and presenting it to Tony who promptly placed the parcel on top of it and grabbed it with both arms. "Oof! That's a lot of weight for a plushie!"

"One of those stuffed things? Maybe it's padding." He decided to not comment on the holes. "Well, have fun with it. But not too much fun."

"Those stories are all lies! Lies, I tell you!" Mike just grinned and climbed back in his van while Tony awkwardly pushed open the door to his house with his rear, then closed it behind him with a kick. With a grin large as his head, he carefully but quickly stepped upstairs to his room, his loud steps covering other lower, squeaky noises, reactions to the rocking of the package. "Finally!"

Carefully placing the object on his bed, he grinned and took the box-cutter from the nearby desk. "Now, to savor the moment..." He carefully placed the edge of the cutter on the strip of tape and started slicing through the exact midsection, the sharp point slipping slightly through as he applied too much pressure. "Whoops! Calm down, Tony. Calm-" A high pitched yelp came from the box. He stopped cold. "... What..." A thought occurred to him. "They put a rattle or something in it?" He frowned and cut open the rest of the tape. "I'm so going to return it if it's so." He grabbed the flaps and pulled. "I hope I didn't damage it or it will..." He opened it. He stared. "... Be..." Five pairs of eyes stared back. "An... Ass... Le?"

One in anger. One in defiance. One in fear. One in confusion. One in curiosity. And another pair was not staring back at all, eyelids sealed shut as their owner cowered in fear. Cyan. Orange. White. Purple. Pink. Cream.

Cream whined again, minute frame trembling, ears bent back over a soft pink mane. He sucked in breath, sharply.

-MyLittlePony-

"It is ready!" On the other side of the world, an evil mastermind laughed in glee as he showed his faithful minion his latest creation. "This material... It is the ultimate defense! The truly unbreakable glass!"

"Superb, my liege! Nothing in existence can destroy it?"

"Aaaah, but there exists my genius! I purposely gave it a weakness against something so that it would be strong against everything else!"

"Huuuu, I don't think materials work like a person's five senses, my-"

"A sound that no one in the world has ever made and no one will ever utter! Mwahahahahahah-" The glass panel suddenly shattered in a bajillion pieces. The two lab-coat wearing men stared.

"... Should we maybe go back to the planning stage, my liege?"

-MyLittlePony-

"Boy, you sure you're alright?"

"Yes, I swear!" Tony replied, only sticking out his head and keeping his gaze moving around his feet. He had closed the door, but you never knew. "I'm fine, Wally."

"Then what in the blazes was that infernal noise?!" He bit his lower lip. He knew he would ask that. What could he say?

"... It was a squeal." The truth. "I squealed. That was the noise."

"... A squeal?"

"Yes. I opened my package, and what was inside was so... So..." He shuddered, repressing that urge again. "Well, it caused me to squeal out loud. Let's leave it at that."

"Boy, you sure can be weird, sometimes." Wally mused, but smiled right after. "Oh, well. Just try and not scare the missus and me that way anymore, alright?"

"Yes, sir." Making a military salute, he grinned back and slowly closed the door behind him, before leaning against it and slumping to the floor. He covered his face with one hand, suddenly tired. "... Did I just imagine it?" His gaze, peeking through his fingers, went to the staircase, his thoughts to his room. What it currently should contain. "Maybe the stress. Maybe..." He breathed in and out, deeply. "I-I have to go check."

Slowly, he stood back up and started skulking his way back upstairs. The reaction to his earlier loud outburst was still fresh in his mind. He hesitated in front of the closed door. "... Come on, Tony." He swallowed and opened the door with a creepy creak. Immediately, he heard shuffling noises, and whines. One step at a time, he approached the bed, careful to not make any noise nor sudden movements. He peered inside the open carboard box. "... Celestia fuck me with her spinning horn of justice." He whispered out. He had never been one for curses -especially pony curses- but what else was he supposed to say?

The cyan pegasus was taking point, magenta eyes glaring at him from downward, tiny wings stretched outwards as she stood in a -or so she thought- threatening posture.

The orange one, no particular features other than her freckles, was standing in a protective manner in front of three others, shouldered by the bright pink one with an impossibly straight mane who just sat on her haunches, staring at him with an interrogative gaze.

The two unicorns were huddled together, and they covered the cream pegasus who was trembling, curled up in a tiny ball behind them, but his shrill cry from before had upset all of them. Except for the pink one, it seemed. She looked more curious than angry or shaken.

"... Seriously?" Instinctively, he slowly, excruciatingly, stretched an arm toward the box, toward the six petite beings inside of it.

What came out of the little cyan pegasus' throat was a mix between a yowl and a whinny, but he understood that it was meant to be a threatening gesture. He snatched his arm back, and walked backwards till he reached his chair, slumping on it and holding his face. "This is impossible." He muttered, and repeated it to himself many times, his eyes never leaving the box. His sight and brain though were on it too. All that got transmitted, all that came out was: it was Rainbow Dash. It was Applejack. It was Pinkie Pie. It was Twilight Sparkle, Rarity and Fluttershy.

They were real. They were there. They were in a box. They were scared. They were... "... They're foals." He suddenly realized. They were small. Very small. Smaller than even the CMC. Not as small as the Cake twins, but still... Maybe an year old. Barely more. That was way they were so scared, RD so aggressive. They had been stuck in that box for who knew how long, rocked and jutted, and he was big, and had screamed in their faces as soon as he had laid eyes on them. They had no idea where they were, how they arrived there, no idea who he was and what he wanted with them. Probably thirsty, hungry. "But what the hell do one year old foals eat?" He thought about it. He slowly turned to his computer.

-MyLittlePony-

"Wally, I need you to do something for me since I can't leave, right now. And you can't ask any questions. Please do not ask any questions."

"O... Kay." Wally let out, weirded out but still happy to help. "What do you need, boy?"

"I need you to buy some foals creep feed for me." Wally moved the phone in front of his face to stare.

-MyLittlePony-

"There. Thanks, Wally." Tony handed him the money and closed the door before the man could inquire. Yeah, rude. 'I'll give him a call later.' The sun was just beginning to settle. Summer, June, so it had to be around eight. Lunch-time.

He took two big trays from his kitchen, and carried them alongside the large plastic bag. Heavy. He set them both on the ground and opened the door. Of course, the box hadn't moved. Nor had the foals in it disappeared. They seemed to have relaxed somewhat, RD and AJ sitting on their stomachs, but they tensed back up as soon as he came into the room. He put on his best reassuring smile, hoping it actually did come out as reassuring. "Hey, there. Brought you something." He settled the tray down at the feet of the bed, then opened the bag with a rip. He noticed Pinkie and AJ sniff the air as he poured the feed on the tray. 'As expected from the earth ponies of the group.'

In a few careful seconds, Tony poured a proper amount of feed in the tray. He had read that he needed to measure it, but he had no idea how much the little foals weighted. Hell, he had no idea if they had the same appetites as their ponies. He went with instinct. "Okay. Now..." Very carefully, he approached the box, Rainbow Dash watching him warily all the while. When he grabbed onto the edges, she started whinnying terribly, trying to climb to get at his arms, running from one end to the other while the others stood nervously on their feet as the ground under their hooves shifted and moved. He settled them on the ground right in front of the pile of feed and then ripped a big hole in the front of the box before RD could try and attack his hands.

Not that she didn't try. She ended up charging vacant space and being the first in leaving the haven of the box, her front hooves touching the ground as she fell on her stomach. He immediately put himself at a 'safe' distance just as the small pegasus recovered. She noticed the new texture of the floor, and started sniffing at it, prodding with her hooves. After making sure it was safe, she slowly moved completely out of the box, observing her new surroundings, sniffing the air. She seemed to notice the food with the last sniff, but she quickly noticed him again and pointed him. "Alright, alright. Take your time."

He backed out of the room, closing it behind him. He collected the second tray. High enough to not spill water, low enough so that they would not have to climb to drink. When he placed the hand on his room's knob again, he was alerted to the soft sounds of munching. He grinned to himself. 'Three guesses to who.' Right on the money, Pinkie Pie was stuffing her face with feed. Apple Jack was beside her, he returned just in time to witness her taking her first nib, chewing carefully. Twilight had just stepped out of the box, Rarity right behind her. Sadly, the young man observed as he set the tray with water on the floor, Fluttershy had stayed in place, curled up and eyes shut. She still-'Wait a minute. Where's Rainbow-' "YEOWCH!"

The earth ponies raised their heads from the feed and the unicorns scurried back inside the box. Fluttershy... Well, she couldn't possibly curl up any further. He raised his right leg, and there was the culprit. A growlinnying -mix between a growl and a whinny- RD with her teeth firmly latched around his ankle. "... Ooookaay." He brought his hands and after a few seconds of struggle, managed to detach the pegasus foal's muzzle from his leg, and then picked her up by the scruff of her neck like one would a bunny or a cat, the little pegasus whinnying, kicking and twisting all the while, trying to bite at him again but to no avail. As he waited for her to calm down, he marvelled at how light she was. 'I guess pegasi's bones really are hollow, or something. For flight. Well, score one for bronies and their theories.'

The little show had many observers, including a cream pegasus who had gone from cowering to staring in abject horror. Eventually, RD tired or realized that she couldn't do much from her position. She stared at him, still defiant. He stared back with a level stare. Then, her gaze went softer and softer and eventually she whined, ears dropped and whole body relaxed, wings tucked in, those big magenta eyes showing fear. He finally smiled. "Now, don't do that again, okay?" He gently picked her up with both hands and placed her back on the ground, in front of the feed. She stared up at him in confusion. "Go on and eat."

Pinkie had already started eating again. Applejack followed her soon and Rainbow, after finally feeling safe in removing her gaze from him, gave a few tentative nips and then dove in again. Twilight and Rarity followed suit when the pegasus caved in, scurrying out of the box and to the tray. He almost squealed again as he observed the small foals munch away at the food, Rainbow Dash's tail going as far as swishing from side to side as she ate. "And speaking of pegasi..." Alas, Fluttershy still hadn't moved from the box. She had stopped cowering, but she just stared at the other foals, probably because she was afraid of being alone. "... It's either the prophet or the mountain, I guess."

Scooping up some feed from the back with his right hand -yuck- he slowly presented it to the cream pegasus, who just whined and hid her face again. "Come on, don't be... Well, shy." He presented the food again and again, but she just avoided her head and kept her eyes shut. "It's food! It's good! All the cool ponies are doing it!" 'Okay. Where the hell did the last one come from?' But it seemed to do the trick. Fluttershy opened her eyes and stared up at him, still intimidated, then slowly shifted to the food in his hand, staring even more warily. "I swear it's good. The others are eating it." She did nothing. "Not good enough?" She did nothing. He mentally cursed as a thought came to him. 'Oh, this is gonna suck.' He picked up a tiny itty tidbit of feed from his right hand with his left, moving slowly so that Fluttershy would follow its movements. He held it up in front of his face, this time more because he was the one who needed convincing. With a sigh, he opened his mouth and stuck the feed inside. He started chewing.

'Okay, I taste milk, and... I don't know, hay? Well, whatever it is, give me bacon any day. Yuck!' He suppressed the grimace and instead gave his best smile to the small winged foal. "See? Good."

She stared at him, then again at the food. Suddenly, something started happening. She stood. She stretched and sniffed the feed in his hand, then so very slowly opened her muzzle and took a bite. Tony mentally cheered as the pegasus munched and then decided that she wanted more. "Okay. Now..." He slowly pulled back his hand, surprising the foal. He stopped, and after a few seconds, the foal caught up and took another bite. He pulled it back again. Fluttershy finished swallowing and then the hint of a smile appeared on her tiny muzzle. She had gotten it. He repeated the game over and over until he led her out of the box and to the tray. "Symphony." He commented as the six foals ate in a staccato of munching and whinnies. That's when his own stomach rumbled. "Huh. I guess I'd best put something in my stomach as well."

-MyLittlePony-

"Well, that hit the spot." Dinner had been nice, filling. Also, he had brought Tony's head back to earth. "... I have six pony foals in my bedroom." He paused. "And not just any pony foals, they're the pony foals." He paused again. "How in the seven hells is this possible?!" He may startle the foals upstairs, but he didn't dwell on it much. He needed to let it out. Loudly. "I ordered a plushie!" Not the point. "Not the point. How in-I mean..." The box. The box should have the number of the shipping company. Mike was only the local worker, he needed to go higher, his order had been inter-state. He stalked back upstairs, and only calmed down in front of his room's door. Because he heard whines. Whines of pain. He opened the door quickly but carefully. Rarity's big eyes met his with a desperate gaze, biting on her lower lip, flushed and tears building in the corner of her eyes. "R-Rarity? What-" And then realized that all the foals were sporting similar expressions, and they were all making an imperative of pressing their haunches together. "... Oh, god. You all have to go?!"

He picked up the foals with wide arms and made a dash for the bathroom. He kicked the door open and put them down on the floor, and then immediately picked Rarity up and put her on the toilet seat, careful as to not let her fall in. "Wait a minute! Do you even have toilets in-" Rarity's expression changed to one of relief. Tony avoided his gaze. "I guess you do." The unicorn finished and hopped down, Twilight already desperately trying to take her place. "But I also guess that they're lower in height, and smaller." He commented as he helped the purple foal climb. As he also helped Pinkie, then Fluttershy and then Rainbow, he found himself quite impressed with the foals. "One year old and already toilet trained?" He surmised, chuckling. "I guess pony really do are the superior race, t-" Then the smell. So strong and pungent that Rainbow actually slipped and fell to the ground, so upset she was. And the sheer size of it. And Applejack's smile. It wasn't relief, it was... Pride? "You're proud of that?" The earth pony just kept on smiling, sitting proudly on her haunches, while foals all around her tried in vain of closing up their nasal tracts. Poor Rarity ran back to his room in terror. "... I take back what I said about ponies being the superior race, Applejack."

-MyLittlePony-

"Aaaah... Finally!" Tony slumped on his bed face first. It had taken him hours, but the smell was finally gone from the bathroom, and he had managed to avoid Wally or Carol or anyone else while he buried that thing out in the garden. Afterwards, he had just waltzed back in the room, changed into his pjs and thus, this brings us back to the slumping motion. "Gotta put something to help them climb. In the morning." 'Speaking of sleep.'

The miniature ponies were getting ready for bed as well... Some. Rainbow Dash was already in dreamland, sprawled over the cushion in the box, with Applejack next to her, brushing away the pegasus' twitching wing every time it poked her nose. Rarity seemed to be smoothing a spot with her front hooves -he chuckled at that- and Twilight, curled up, let out the cutest yawn Tony had ever heard coming from a living creature. 'But where are Pinkie and F-'

Something hit the side of his bed and then fell to the ground. He blinked. The noise repeated itself, this time accompanied by a playful yowl. He turned to the side just as he felt something nuzzle his hand. He moved himself and there they were, the two missing ponies, Pinkie in mid-nuzzle, Fluttershy standing a little behind. Once she was sure she got his attention, Pinkie bounced twice on her hooves. He smiled. Like Rarity, it seemed like there were echoes of their personalities even at such a young age. "You want up?" In all reply, Pinkie nuzzled Fluttershy forward, the pegasus hesitantly approaching the bed and looking up at him, nervous. He replied by simply picking up the timid pegasus and the eager earth pony second, settling them right on the edge of his bed. Pinkie wouldn't have none of that, though. She rushed to him and settled herself on his stomach, curling up in a ball like a cat. "Woah, there." Landing a bit too harsh on the part for comfort, though.

Sighing, he finally let go and did what his instinct had been telling him since he had first laid eyes on the six foals: he brought a hand to the pink filly's head and started petting her, earning soft squeals in reaction. Fluttershy stood at the edge of the bed for a while before quietly approaching and curling up against his side. After a bit of hesitation, he reserved the same treatment to the small pegasus, who after an initial stiffening, mellowed. The two fillies' bodies quickly started to raise and fall rhythmically. 'Hmm, I guess it's having a calming effect on me as well.' With a loud yawn, Tony began to fall into a peaceful slumber, his last image four huddled ponies in various cutesy sleeping poses and two more sharing in his body heat. 'Tomorrow. Tomorrow, I investigate about this.'

Author's Note

Edited with the opportune corrections on the 24th of January 2013.

Meinos Kaen

Day 1

Day1

"Hmmm..." Murmuring, Tony turned around in his bed to the side, finding a blissfully comfortable position, his small moment of pure nirvana heightened by the plushie he was hugging to his chest. He loved its softness, its weight, and its warmth... Wait. 'Plushies aren't warm.' Slowly coming to, he became aware of the not-plushie snuggling into his chest, and as he fluttered his eyes open he laid them on a pretty comfortable looking... Pinkie Pie. "... Holy carp." He whispered out, but his breath still had the effect of rousing the pink filly from her slumber. Scrunching up her face, she slowly sat up on his chest, rubbing sleep out of her eyes with a hoof and then yowled out in the most adorable. Yawn. Ever. He slapped a hand on his mouth instinctively as he suppressed a very loud squeal, which caused Fluttershy to stir. A wing brushed his cheek as he noticed how the cream pony had migrated to his pillow during the night. The pegasus uncurled from her ball like a cat, stretching and yawning. Now two hands were on his mouth. 'Deep breaths. Deep. Breaths!'

He dared not move, he dared not glaze in the direction of the box, lest he laid eyes on more cute interruptions of equine sleep. And scared them because of his newfound ability to fuck biology with his vocal cords. He simply stared into Pinkie's baby cobalts, the straight-maned filly staring at him with curiosity and a smile, her tail swishing from side to side.

"Good morning... Pinkie." He said, slowly moving his arms back to his side, again in control of himself.

"'Inkie." She parroted. He smiled. He paused. He shot up in a sitting position, grabbing onto the filly and holding her up in front of his face, who giggled in laughter.

"You... Did you just...?" He murmured, and she just stared back, amused. "... Pinkie?"

"'Inkie!" She repeated again, and he almost dropped her.

"You talk?! B-But how-"

"'Addy?" It was a barely audible whisper, but he caught it. He gasped at the pegasus unicorn staring shyly but affectionately at him, sitting on his pillow on her haunches.

"Y-You too?!" Tony's mind was going into loops, ignoring the sudden awakening of the other fillies in the box. 'How-Yesterday they couldn't utter a syllable, and now they're-?!' Then, he noticed something else, since he was still holding Pinkie up. She had lifted her the previous evening too, and he now noticed a certain difference in weight, and size. "W-What?" He peered in Fluttershy's direction, and then to the box where the four other ponies were awaking. It was far more confining than the previous day, and in Rainbow Dash's case he could clearly tell that her hair had somewhat grown in length. "... You've grown overnight?!"

"Hmm... Good morning." A new voice echoed in the room. New and yet familiar. After all, filly Twilight had had a talking appearance. Like all the mane six, now that he thought about it. The small unicorn drowsily made her way out of the box. She sat and yawned, and eventually focused her attention on him. Then, she smiled and bowed her head. "Thanks for taking care of us."

Very polite and she talked slowly, taking her time to pronounce her words carefully. Still impressive, for a... Two years old? Whatever. This was definitely Twilight. "Huu, you're welcome." He finally set Pinkie down again. Who immediately dove for his lap.

"'Addy." Fluttershy murmured again, gently leaning on his left tight with her front hooves.

'Did she call me-' And her stomach suddenly growled. She froze and lowered her head, embarrassed. Tony almost cooed. "You hungry?"

"Eeyup!" Applejack said enthusiastically, surprising the hell out of him. He laughed right after.

"Okay, okay! Let's eat, then!" He got off his bed, placing Pinkie over his right shoulder, much to her enjoyment. Then he crouched down and collected the trays. Rainbow and Rarity were looking around for the bag of feed. "Nono. You're not eating breakfast in here. Yesterday was a one time exception. A bedroom is for sleeping."

-MyLittlePony-

"There you go. Sorry for the tray, but I don't have filly sized stools." They didn't seem to mind, though, if the munching sounds were any indication. Tony just chuckled and poured himself a glass of orange juice while munching on a freshly prepared french toast. Rarity and Twilight had already finished eating, seemingly having less appetite than the others, not that the others minded.

"Thanks for the breakfast." Twilight said, bowing her head. Rarity mimicked the gesture with an imperfect curtsy, but it was still a curtsy. Also, she seemed to be the only one devoid of bed hair, somehow.

"You're very welcome, Twilight." He replied with a smile. The purple unicorn just stared strangely at him.

"Twilight... Is that my name?" The question really confused him. She didn't know her name?

"Yes. You're Twilight Sparkle." He confirmed, as confused as the small filly. She had grown overnight and got grammar and lexicon that kids usually got by listening to and parroting the adults around them, after all. It was like the knowledge she had gotten overnight was selective.

"Uhm, how do you know?" Sharp little filly. "You can't be our daddy. You look nothing like us."

"Uh?" Fluttershy murmured, cleaning her muzzle clean as she turned to him. "No ‘addy?" The disappointment in her voice almost killed him.

"N-No. You're right, Twilight. I'm not your dad." No sense in lying about that. Now, what could he say that would put them at ease and be acceptable? "I'm... Your caretaker."

"Care... Taker?" Rarity repeated, tasting the word.

"Yeah. I take care of you. I'm... Well, like a big brother!" He exclaimed, downing the last of his orange juice and settling the glass down on the nearby table. "My name is Tony."

"Tony..." Murmured Applejack, then she suddenly beamed. "Big 'other Tony!" Younger sibling instincts: activate.

"Yep, I'm Tony!" He knelt in front of the fillies as they all approached him. "And you are Applejack." He poked the orange earth pony in the nose, who retaliated by trying to bite at it playfully. "Rainbow Dash." He held his hand over the head of the cyan pegasus who jumped after it to try and catch it. "Pinkie Pie." The giggling filly accepted his tickling with gusto. "Fluttershy." At first the cream pony just stared, unsure, but then began to shamelessly rub her face against his open palm. "Rarity." Comprehending the game, the unicorn raised and gently laid a hoof in his hand, trying to put on an air of grace. “And Twilight Sparkle.” Twilight, he just smiled at. She seemed to be a bit on her guard, at the moment.

“And where are our parents?” Damn it. Too intelligent for her age. And still so cute!

“Business trip. They asked me to take care of you all until they're back.” 'What we need is a change of subject.' They just had breakfast. What did you do after breakfast? 'Personal hygiene.' “Alright, everypony. It's bath-time.”

“Baph?” Applejack parroted.

-MyLittlePony-

“No baph!”

“For the love of Luna, Applejack, stay still!” Just as Tony's luck would have it, the physically strongest of the fillies just had to happen to be the only one opposed to the idea of cleaning herself up with water. If anything, he would have bet on Rainbow Dash, but the pegasus had surprisingly even dive-bombed for the filled tub. Applejack seemed to be allergic to water the way she trashed around. He pushed with all his might and managed to get her in the tub, earning a yelp from the small filly and lots of water on him. "Now, be a good filly and-Pinkie! Get away from the drier!"

"Abalabalabalabalaaaaaaaa!" Pinkie had somehow found how to turn on the drier and placed herself in front of it, the air stream waving her hair and surprisingly big tongue. Although she didn't seem to notice him, Twilight did and turned it off, earning a pout from the pink pony.

Sighing in relief, Tony was free to focus on the freckled filly. She sniffled and regarded him with a miserable expression. He flinched but resisted, strong in being the adult. He shook his head. "No can do, little missy. You get dirty, you get a bath. Now close your eyes." She whined but complied, allowing Tony to drop water on her, gently getting her mane wet. Pouring a generous amount of shampoo on his hands, he went to work on her hair, finding them full of knots. “This is going to take a while...”

A few winces and yelps later, Applejack was clean and dried over. And yet, she still looked as miserable as before. He sighed. “Oh, come on, AJ. It was just water.” No reaction. He groaned, and then did the first thing that came to his mind. He picked her up and hugged her. She immediately latched her forelegs around his neck. “There, there. Who's a brave little filly?” He had to continuously check the strength of his hug. When she nuzzled him, he almost squeezed. Hard.

“Donie.” Another voice earned his attention, though. This time it was Rarity, hair all in disorder because of his messy job at drying it up, her voice muffled because she was holding in her mouth-He almost dropped Applejack. “Brushie?”

“... Yes. Yes, Brushie.” He murmured, Applejack suddenly weirded out that the man she was holding onto was shaking in barely contained- “Just one moment.” Screw barely contained. He made for his room and then window.

-MyLittlePony-

“There! We've been up all night, but it's back up!”

“My liege, but are we sure...”

“I told you, there's no way that sound could ever happen. We just did something wrong in the manufacturing phase.” The scientist said, grinning. “By the way, I blame you for that.”

“Typical. I-” The glass wall shattered again, this time not crumbling but literally exploding, the two labcoat wearing men ducking for the ground to protect their faces. “... You gonna blame that on me as well, my liege?”

“Shut up, will you?!”

-MyLittlePony-

“Hehehe.” He didn't stop, but he turned in the direction of Twilight, who was chuckling..

“What's so funny?” He asked, as his right hand continued the tempo he had fallen into an hour or so ago.

“Rainbow Dash really likes brushies.” Twilight observed, and he couldn't help but laugh. Indeed, RD liked her brushies. Sprawled on her stomach on his leg, a goofy expression on her face with tongue lolling out, wings fluttering wildly with every stroke of the brush and right leg twitching.

“Yes, yes she does.” He was enjoying himself. Maybe too much. It was already 11 am. He had to start researching this, didn't he? Applejack and Fluttershy were currently occupied with an old basketball he had recovered from his room, Rarity was seemingly fascinated with his curtains, and Fluttershy was just being... Fluttershy. Sitting in a corner, observing and not participating. It there was going to be any moment... “Hey, Twilight. Do you want to try?”

“Huh? Me?” Much to the cyan filly's annoyance, he dropped her on the ground. He handed the brush to Twilight.

“Yes, you. You look like a smart filly, I'm sure you can do it.” She flushed, beaming at the praise. With a nod, she grabbed onto the brush with her teeth and waltzed to Rainbow Dash, who just stayed sprawled on the ground with a pout. She quickly mellowed once Twilight started brushing her again. Nodding to himself, satisfied with a good plan, Tony collected the ripped box and looked for the shipping information. “Let's see...” 'There, the shipping number.'

As he turned on his PC and logged onto the courier site, he considered his options. He couldn't just phone the company and say 'Hey, you shipped me six fillies instead of a plushie. Oh, did I mention they're technically cryptids?'. So, the only possible thing he could do was see where the package had stopped on the way there. “Insert expedition number and... There.”

The list was short. It had stopped on only four locations on the way there. Two were too far away for him to check by car. Also, he couldn’t just up and leave the six little fillies all on their own. He collected the information in a word file. ‘I’ll check it out as soon as possible.’ He gave a glance in the fillies’ direction. They were still at it, and there had been no damage. He returned to his task. “... Maybe I can contact the ebay seller?” ‘I could have been the millionth customer or something.’ Browsing through his purchase history, he found the user easily: eridias666. There was only an email for ‘customer service’. “An e-mail, huh?” ‘Okay. What the hell do I write this guy? The cryptids thing still stands.’

After much thinking, Tony settled for the following message.

Hi, I’m TotallyBrony789.

I won the auction for the life-sized Rainbow Dash plushie. I received the package yesterday. Except, he didn’t contain the auctioned item, but something else entirely.

I suppose that could have been some mistake at the post-office or something- “Yeah, in Canterlot, maybe.” -but if you know anything about the substitution, please contact me as soon as possible.

Tony

“Aaaand sent.” With a last push of a key, his research for the morning was done. He looked at the clock on the screen. It said 1:03 PM. He had been researching the stuff for two hours. He turned around. Surprisingly, the girls had managed to entertain themselves for that long with the activity he had given them. Much to Rainbow Dash’s bliss. He chuckled. ‘Time to start working on lunch.’

-MyLittlePony-

“Tony.”

“Yes, Twilight?” Twilight called as he finished drying his dishes and the tray. No sense in using the dishwasher with so few things that got used in the first place. “Something the matter?”

“Can I do something else?” While he finished tidying up the kitchen, he had set the fillies in the living room. Via an incident involving Pinkie’s newfound habit of biting on anything new, they had discovered television. “I don’t like tee-vee anymore.” Seemed like the unicorn filly had quickly gotten bored of it, though.

“Something else?” As he dried his hands, he grinned. He picked her up and cradled her to his chest. “I think I have just the thing for a smart filly like you.” Again, she blushed and smiled at the praise as he brought her to the living room. He stopped in front of the library, looking for a specific book. “Do you like to read, Twilight?”

“Read?” She blinked, the word new to her. “I don’t know. I never tried that.”

‘Here’s hoping that she learned to read overnight too.’ “Let’s try, then... Ah! Here it is!” Tony picked up a small book and presented it to the filly. “This was one of my favorite books when I was a ch-I mean, young.”

“The... It... Doesn’t Matter... Suit?” Tony nodded -she did learn to read- and settled both filly and book on the ground, one in front of the other. He opened the first page for her.

“From Sylvia Plath. Try and read it. If you don’t like it, we will do something else. Okay?” He said, rubbing the head of the small pony, earning another smile from her. Taking a spot on the nearby couch, where Rarity was taking a nap in an angle, he decided to do some reading of his own. He couldn’t leave the house and he could only wait for an answer to his email. He grabbed his Kindle Keyboard and continued going through that Lovecraft short stories collection he had started the other day.

He had no further interruptions from Twilight, although Fluttershy asked for some petting after a while. She was really affectionate, he noted. When he raised his head, it was past five. Fluttershy was fast asleep in his lap, Pinkie Pie was still staring at cartoons on the television, and Rainbow Dash and Applejack had somehow coaxed Rarity into roughhousing. And that presented a problem. He wanted to check his email, but waking Fluttershy up? Did he have the heart to do that?

Luck was on his side. She was stirring on herself. “Hmm... ‘addy, pee...” He scooped her up and brought her to the ground floor bathroom. He just had the time to collect his cellphone and see if any notifications had arrived. He didn’t want to turn on the PC just to check on his email. A quick trip upstairs, and he found out that there hadn’t been a reply yet.

‘Just my luck. Oh, well.’ Sighing, he returned downstairs. He found Twilight waiting for him at the bottom of the stairs with the finished book in her mouth. He chuckled and collected it and she bowed.

“I really liked it! Thank you!” She said, more cheerful than he had seen here at any point in those two days. “Can I have another book, Tony?”

“Another book? Sure.” He replied with a smile, and Twilight was bursting with excitement. Just as he handed her another book, his phone started ringing. He picked it up. Cassandra. With a smile, he answered the call. “Hey, beautiful.”

“Enjoying your newest toy, handsome?” He couldn’t help a snicker. If only she knew.

“Yes. Yes, I am.” As weird as unexpected as it had been, he would be a big fat liar if he said he didn’t love the idea of having the filly mane six around. “How was your day?”

“The usual, slow saturday evening. You sure I can’t coax you into going out, tonight?” He sighed.

“No can do, Cassandra.” ‘Especially today.’ He thought as he observed the fillies, spread a bit all around the living room. “I’m a bit caught up with something, to tell the truth.”

“Around the house, you mean?” He nodded to the phone, even if she couldn’t exactly see him. “I hope it won’t impede on our little dinner.”

“Nah, it’s-Tomorrow?” He blinked. Once. Twice. Then it dawned on him. ‘OH, FUCK!’ “It’s already Sunday?”

“Technically, there are still six and a half hours to go, but yes.” She chuckled, thinking it one of his jokes. But he had really forgotten that it was Saturday and that, on Sunday night, he had arranged to have Cassandra over for dinner. “I bought a little something for us. I think you’ll like it.”

“R-Really?” He blushed, sweat starting to cover his skin, but not for the mental images. It was bad. It was really bad. “Hey, Cass. I-”

“Shoot. A customer. Gotta go, sweetheart. Kisses.” She hung up on him. And he felt like hanging up on life.

-MyLittlePony-

“Damn it. Damn it. Damn it.” Tony continued as he paced around the room in a circle, gaze on the floor as he thought of his possibilities. “Damn it. Damn it. And damn it again.” He stopped and turned his head around. “Any suggestions, girls?”

“Ham it!” Pinkie, Rainbow and Applejack chorused among a fit of giggles. He sighed. He had taught them their first swearword. Well, sorta.

“Okay. Enough horsing around. Time to wash your hooves before dinner.” They were pretty quiet, after all. He’d just close them up in his room and keep the evening to the ground floor. He couldn’t lie to Cassandra, so he’d just avoid the matter entirely. ‘I can do this. It’s going to be okay.’

Or so he thought. He couldn’t foresee the catastrophe that would take place the following morning.

Author's Note

Hey! It's been a long time, huh? But thanks to Bronydoc, I'm now more motivated than ever to go back to writing this! Hope you enjoy this!

Tony sure won't enjoy his dinner. Hehehehehe...

Meinos Kaen