Fallout Equestria: Self-Insert

Chapter 4: Partner?

Two days, she's slept.

I don't know how long I sat by Pip. My shoulder had been bandaged up but I hardly cared. Pip had been unconscious for a whole day. I kept praying to Celestia for her to wake up. We were surrounded by several ponies, including the fucking pegasus that shot Pip, they made sure to stay clear of me. I could the eyes digging into the back of my head, no doubt scared of my appearance.

"Pip!" I exclaimed as she woke up. Springing up from the chair, I wrapped her in a tight hug.

"Ow! Easy!" She cried, struggling in my grip.

“Oh! Look who’s awake!” The voice of a mare near me spoke up. Letting go of Pip and turning around, I saw we were surrounded by several ponies, only one of which I recognized -- and that the goddamn pegasus who shot at us in the first place!

The voice came from the white-coated earth pony with a cotton-candy pink mane and a pink and yellow-stripped nurse’s dress. I heard Pip sit up and I moved to support her as she looked dazed.

“Take it easy there, partner,” the pegasus whose name was Calamity said, stepping towards me. I put myself in between him and Pip. Yeah like I'd let him near about he unloaded hundreds of bullets on us.

"Back off partner." I added with a lot of venom.

He arched an eyebrow at the last part before backing up a couple of inches.

“Candi?” another pony, a grey-coated earth pony with black mane and tail, asked as he looked to Pip's nurse.

“Oh, she’ll be perfectly fine. Ah mixed up the last healing potion she needed and gave it t’ her less than an hour ago.”

“Mixed?” The grey earth pony raised an eyebrow dubiously.

Candi smiled. “Why with apple schnapps, of course! Ah find the medicine always goes down better that way.” I couldn’t understand why the grey pony face-hoofed.

The grey stallion started shooing all our guests away. That made me feel slightly relieved, I didn't like how they all stared at me.

“Come on out when you’re feeling up to it. I know there’s some ponies who would like to see you two.” The grey stallion smiled at us. Then looked at the rust-colored straggler. “You two, Calamity. Out you go.” Calamity took one look back at us before scooting out.

Candi pranced up to me, whispering dreamily, “Such a handsome stallion, isn’t he?”

“Who?”

“Why Calamity, of course!” She giggled.

I was at a loss for words. But Pip wasn't. “He shot us.”

She waved that off with a hoofwiggle. “Ah’m sure t’was just a misunderstandin’.”

I stood up straight. "There. Was. No. Misunderstanding."

Candi backed up, slightly terrified at the ton of my voice. I wasn't going to have thing conversation. Calamity fucking shot us! I don't give a fuck how handsome or how kind he is. I'd rather put a bullet in between his eyes.

Pip reiterated, “He shot us…” Then added,“…a lot.”

More rested, Pip was eager to meet the ponies of New Appleloosa.

I gazed over the railing at the walled village. Multiple lines of railroad tracks converged into a town made up largely of dozens upon dozens of virtually identical homes built from old passenger cars, many of them stacked two or three high. Most still had their wheels. Heavy metal boxcars formed a ring around the town, with a massive gate on either side. Armed pony guards walked around the tops of the boxcars, keeping their eyes on the wastes outside. Inside, scores of earth and unicorn ponies trotted about their daily lives.

“How did you get them stacked like that?” I asked, looking up at the stacked train cars, the tallest group being four high. Railing and catwalks spanned out from it, connecting to other towers. On the highest roof, brilliantly glowing letters spelled out Turnpike Tavern.

Railright, the grey and black stallion who was the sheriff/mayor/general of the town, deadpanned, “Had one o’ the unicorn ponies do it.”

Pip turned with a gasp, staring at him. I arched an eyebrow. One unicorn couldn't have levitated any object that big or heavy.

Railright held that serious expression just a moment longer before chortling. “Ah’m just playin’ with ya.” Pip's astonishment faded to a sheepish grin causing me to chuckle as Railright smiled and pointed towards the sky behind us. “That’s what the crane is for.” Looking back and up, I could see the huge orange tower of metal jutting above the town, a massive hook dangling from it’s long arm.

Cranes made me nervous. Just thinking about climbing one made my stomach churn. I could only imagine how the operators felt.

“Although,” Railright continued, “If yer lookin’ for a heavy lifter, ya can’t do better than Crane. Ya should talk t’ him.”

“Talk to the crane?” Pip said slowly. She was probably trying to figure out if he was joking.

Judging from the names of Ponies I've encountered, I wouldn't be surprised if Crane was the name of a pony.

I was right.

Crane, he told us, was the name of a unicorn who worked in the train yard. “Won’t find a stronger telekinetic this side o’ the Canterlot Ruins.” With that, Railright offered to give us the grand tour.

New Appleloosa’s general supplies store was called Absolutely Everything. It was the fourth stop on the tour. Railright smiled knowingly as he coaxed us towards the odd-looking building. Three train cars, each a different type, had been fused together to create the store; one of them was a barrel-shaped car of black metal dominated by a smokestack. This was one of the sources of smoke I had seen from a distance. Pausing in front of the door, I read the signs beneath the playful block letters of the store name:

Yes, I do deliveries!

No hooves, nasty stingers? No service.

Ask me about special orders! I won’t answer, but I’ll get right on it!

Wasteland Survival Guide! Available now! First copy for every family is free!

I pushed the door open and stepped inside. And stopped with a gasp as I saw the zombie-pony from the raider library. I could tell she was the same one by the way one of her eyes rolled up. She recognized us with an immediate, bright smile and dashed over to give us a uncomfortably squishy hug.

She backtrotted and waved a forepaw about in what was a surprisingly effective combination of welcome and showing off of the store. I hate to admit it, but I nearly gagged when she hugged me.

“uh… Hello again,” Pip said, feeling a little awkward. Last time this pegasus zombie-pony saw us, we were going to put a bullet in between a raider's eyes.

“Howdy” said a familiar voice from off to my left. I’d been so focused on the zombie-pony that I’d missed that there were other people in the store. Turning, I found Calamity looking back at us with a bashful smile. “Look, ‘fore ya scamper, ah just want t’ say how sorry ah am!”

I didn’t scamper, although Pip did take a cautious step back.

“Ah’ve been gettin’ the story from Ditzy Doo here, see…”

Ditzy Doo?

“You wrote the Wasteland Survival Guide?” Pip asked. Both Ditzy Doo’s eyes managed to focus on her and she absolutely beamed with joy, nodding fervently.

Yes, I do deliveries. Suddenly, I had a very good idea how that book ended up in the Ponyville Library. Which, in turn, fortified my suspicions about Watcher.

While I was thinking, Ditzy Doo had rushed up, another copy of the book in her mouth, and was stuffing it into my saddlebags. The zombie pony was amazingly kind and generous and had a severe problem with personal space.

“You… don’t talk much, do you?” Could zombie-ponies talk?

Ditzy Doo stepped back and opened her muzzle wide, giving me more a look at the inside of her mouth than I wish I could unsee. Calamity focused my attention, “Ditzy Doo’s tongue was cut out by slavers a few decades ago. She gets by without it real well though.” So then Monterey Jack’s warning had been cringingly accurate.

Ditzy Doo trotted to the sales counter, where she picked up a pencil in her teeth and scribbled something on the first sheet of large pad of note paper. She dropped the pencil and held up the notepad, her eye going weird again.

Looking strictly at the paper so my gaze didn’t rudely follow her eye, I read aloud, “Because I couldn’t talk, I took up writing. If it hadn’t been for that, I would never have gotten so good at it.” I looked up at her with a blink.

Ditzy Doo put down the pad, picking up the pencil again, and added a line before lifting it again for me to read.

“Now, how about we get you some better armor?”

Ponies use bottle caps for money?

As absurd as it was, I should have seen that coming. No wonder raiders were hoarding the things. No wonder there were empty bottles littered everywhere, but not a bottle cap to be found.

Ditzy Doo didn’t have any armor in Pip's size, but swore she could modify her barding so it was better than the best armor any raider could scrounge together. After taking my measurements, she said it would take a while to create anything to fit me. She offered to do it for free, but we insisted on paying for her work. And that’s when I discovered the barter system used throughout the Equestrian Wasteland.

“Bottle caps. Seriously?”

Fortunately, pre-war money was still worth something, if only in bulk. If for no other reason than that they could get sodas out of the few machines that hadn’t simply been pried open and raided already.

Ditzy Doo took all but a few of my coins; I had no idea if what I had given her was a fair price, but I suspect I was getting a generous discount. She also insisted on giving us a sheet of paper detailing an entirely different use for bottle caps; a way to turn them into homemade mines. Apparently, it was going to be an insert for the Wasteland Survival Guide’s chapter on mines that somepony discouraged her from including.

When we left Absolutely Everything, Railright commented, “Ditzy Doo’s our resident pegasus. As well as our resident ghoul.”

Right, because ghoul-pony sounds so much better than zombie-pony.

“Although,” he had continued, poking a hoof towards Calamity, “Ah keep telling this one he’s always welcome t’ settle down here in my town. He’s been keepin’ the caravans safe for goin’ on four years now.”

Now, as we were on our way to meet Crane, with Calamity trotting along beside me, Pip finally struck up a conversation with the rust-colored stallion. “So, you don’t live here?”

“Nope. Got my own place ‘bout a half-hour’s flight distant.”

I thought over what I knew of pegasus ponies. “A place up in the clouds?”

I could swear Calamity’s eyes widened just bit. “Oh no. Just a shack. Something somepony threw together a few generations ago, only t’ get eaten by the wild animals in these here parts.”

We'd already encountered some of the wild animals in these parts.

As we walked down the catwalk, my gaze fell to the strange weapon that Calamity wore, my eyes following from the gun barrels to the odd metal protrusion that stuck out in front of him; a control mechanism. I opened my mouth to ask him about it, only to find myself looking at air. I stopped and looked back; he had halted abruptly to let by a mare in a straw sunhat and her colt. The mare was apparently having trouble keeping the colt from dashing off at top speed. She looked like she wanted a leash.

“But ma! I wanna go see Derpy!”

Calamity leaned close and whispered, “That’s what some folks call Ditzy Doo. Cuz of the eye.” Yeah, because that’s what they’d focus on; the bullies back home would totally have ignored the whole putrefying flesh thing for that. “She doesn’t seem t’mind. Ah actually think she finds it endearing.”

I did not point out that Ditzy Doo didn’t seem to mind having her tongue cut out either. Didn’t make it right.

“Trolley, you get back here,” the mother called out as the colt started to trot a little too fast. “And you stay away from that store. I don’t want you bothering that thing.”

Thing? Okay, I’ll admit I’d thought of her as an “it” a few times, but that was back when I thought she was dead. I stopped.

“Excuse me, miss. I’m new here. Is there something wrong about zo… ghoul ponies?”

The mare looked abashed, staring more at Calamity than me. I didn’t need to look; I could feel his scowl.

“Well… nothin’ against good ol’ Derpy. Ah mean, miss Ditzy Doo. But… well, y’know…”

“Know what?” I persisted, trying not to hint at the shame I was feeling for having balked at her smell or the grossly squishy way her hug felt.

“Well…” The mare looked about furtively, then lowered her head, whispering, “Y’know they’re all like tickin’ time bombs, right? Ah mean, you can see what bein’ a ghoul is doin’ t’ their outsides. Imagine what it’s doing t’ their brains. They all go mad sooner or later. Dear Ditzy, she’s lasted a good long time an’ she’s only a li’l crazy for it. But someday… Ah just don’t want my boy t’ hurry that along none. Or be there when she does finally turn on us all.”

With that, the mare drew herself up, pulled Trolley close, and hurried off. Away, notably, from Absolutely Everything.

I stood there a long time, stunned. Finally, I asked Calamity, “Is that true?”

Calamity sighed deeply, which was not a good sign. “Ayep… for most of ‘em anyway. Ya get inta the wrong places, y’ll find yerself hunted by whole packs of cannibal ghoul-ponies gone zombie. But, an’ I mean this, that’s only most of ‘em, and even they’re good pony folk, if a little smelly and strange-lookin’, until that day. Some, like Ditzy Doo, break the odds an’ never lose their noodle.”

I understood the spirit of his words, but the news didn’t make me scared of the hairless pegasus writer. It made me ache for her.

Crane was a yellow unicorn pony with an orange-and-beige striped mane and tail. He wore a bright orange construction hat with a hole in it for his horn. When we found him, he was loading barrels onto the flatbed of a train car; this one actually still on the tracks that ran through town and connected to several others.

“Howdy! Pleased t’ meet the little mare with the PipBuck and strange creature who saved Sweet Apple and Ditzy Doo! Not t’ mention Desert Rose, Barrel Cactus an’ Turquoise!” He stopped to shake my hand vigorously.

“Please to meet you too,” I smiled, feeling a touch wobbly after the hoofshake. “Railright told us you’re the pony to talk to if we wanted to see some heavy lifting.”

Crane smiled, then causally lifted three barrels at once, putting them in their places on the flatbed. “Reckon Ah am.” He turned to Pip and asked, “What kinda spells ya got?”

“Spells?” P replied hesitantly.

“Ya know,” he continued talking while three more barrels levitated by, glowing with the same light as shown from his horn. “Unicorn ponies generally have a small collection of magical spells, usually related t’ what he or she is destined t’ be best at. Me fer instance, Ah can make all manner of repairs t’ the rails an’ trains just by focusin’ at ‘em.”

I noticed Pip kicking a hoof at the ground and sighed deeply. “Nope. Just telekinesis. No spells.” That didn't sound to bad. Levitation was still pretty cool. I place a hand on her shoulder and gave her an encouraging smile. Which seemed to cheer her up, even if was just a little.

Crane’s eyes widened in surprise. And he quickly changed the subject. “Now Ah’ve got lots o’ work t’ do, but ah tell y’ what. If y’all would do me a small favor, Ah’ll return it by teachin’ ya everything Ah know ‘bout heavy liftin’.”

Sounded great to me. “What’s the favor?”

“We been havin’ a small bit o’ trouble with the things that’ve been crawling up outta that ol’ Stable west o’ here. From what Ah hear, y’all are might brave an’ no slouch w’ slingin’ a firearm. Jus’ get down t’ the Stable an’ close the door. I reckon we can clear out the varmints up here if somepony locks off their breedin’ grounds.”

I was hoping for a soda run.

“So why are you with ua again?” The sky had darkened prematurely. It was getting more and more difficult to see.

“Ah figured Ah owe ya one,” Calamity said earnestly as he followed beside me. “Maybe a whole mess o’ ones, considerin’ all y’ did for the good ponies of New Appleloosa.”

With a sigh, Pip tried to console him. “You couldn’t have known. We were wearing blood-caked raider armor.”

"She's right." I didn't want to say it, but I couldn't hold a grudge. "How could you have known."

“ Armor ya only had cuz ya needed protection while saving the lives of five good townsponies!”

“Only four, really. Ditzy Doo saved Sweet Apple.” Pip commented.

“An’ you saved Ditzy Doo so she could save Sweet Apple. In muh book, that makes five.” He took a deep breath. “Besides, ah can’t consent t’ ya goin’ down there alone. Ah’ve heard dark stories about those Stables. Bad, bad things happened down in too many of ‘em.”

“I came from a Stable. Hell, everypony came from somepony who came from a Stable, right? I can see why an empty one would be an inviting nesting ground, but it’s not like the Stables are cursed or sinister.” Pip said.

"I was never born in a Stable. So I'm not sure what to expect." I chipped in. "Besides, Pip's right. Everything has a rational explanation."

Calamity mulled that over. “Ah suppose yer right ‘bout that. All ‘cept the few like Ditzy Doo who somehow survived the apocalypse on the surface, or are descended from folk who did.”

Pip halted my trot so abruptly I nearly crushed her. My packs weight dragged me down as I stubled, landing with a thud. "Ow."

“Ditzy Doo survived the war? She’s that old?” She asked as she helped me up.

“Ayep. Ghoul-ponies don’t age like normal pony-folk do.”

The idea of a pony who had actually been around way back then, who knew what actually happened, surprised me. “What’s her story?”

Calamity snorted a laugh. “So long ah couldn’t even guess at most of it. Ah do know she was flyin’ outside Cloudsdayle when that first megaspell hit it. She was caught at the very edge of the magical energies that wiped the entire city out of existence. Been a ghoul ever since.”

Pip nodded, continuing on in solemn silence, the image of entire city in the clouds filled with pegasus ponies playing out in my head. There one minute, and then just nothing.

The Death Star would have some competition.

The clouds above started to leak.

It was like being in a shower. Only the shower was everywhere! And it didn’t stop. If I hadn’t been cleaned by Candi the day before, I would have welcomed it, despite the cold of the water. Now, soaked to the bone, I just found it miserable.

The sky had turned so dark Pip had to turn on her PipBuck’s lamp spell to light our way. Ferocious wind had picked up out of nowhere and was whipping the rain at us like a weapon. “What’s going on?!?” Pip cried out to Calamity above the storm.

“It’s a thunderstorm. An’ a mighty big one. We best be findin’ some shelter, cuz it’s just gettin’ started!”

“Thunderstorm?” Pip hollered back as a patch of clouds lit up briefly but brilliantly. “What’s thunder?”

KA-BOOOOOOOM!!!

"That's thunder!" I commented.

Pip freaked the hell out and actually tried hiding between my legs.

“Get ahold o’ yerself there! “ Calamity barked.

Timidly and a little bashfully, Pip crawled out and stood up on her hooves. Another flash illuminated the whole countryside in stark white and shadow, gone before I realized it had happened. Another mighty boom tore at the sky following close behind the flash. Calamity had to put his forehooves on Pip to stop her from climbing up my leg.
“If y’all are that scared o’ the thunder, wait ‘till ya actually see the lightnin’!” He chuckled. “Now let’s get ta movin’ so’s we can find some shelter.”

Each flash of light in the clouds was followed by a terrifying crack or a mighty boom. A little later, Pip did indeed see the lightning. I remembered lightning from back home. A white tear through the sky, like the had slashed the sky open. It lasted an eye blink, but I could see the imzge had glued itself to Pip for several minutes.

She stopped at one point, as if she saw something, but I couldn't see anything.

We ran, the ground beneath us increasingly muddy and treacherous, until we were forced to stop by a raging, frothy river. The muddy, rushing water was tearing away at the banks on each side. I could see the black shapes of uprooted dead trees as they were carried away.

Just beyond the other side rose a cliff-face. Water was pouring down the cracks of the cliff in a hundred rivulets, each feeding into the river at the bottom. Across from us, just a little way up the cliff, was the dark mouth of a cave, the path up to it already washed away.

I stood there, trying to figure out how we were going to get across. Then I felt myself being lifted into the air as Calamity flew us over the river and set us down in the mouth of the caves

We stepped further in, Pip shining the lamp of her PipBuck into the cave. The path continued up about a yard, then took a steep decline with frightfully old metal stairs, rusted nearly black, leading to a concrete landing. Once at the landing, the rough walls were replaced by stonework. At the end, a very familiar-looking steel door hung open on its hinge-arm. The number 24 was emblazoned on the center of the door. Beyond lay a rusted, ruined place that reminded me of the inside of a factory.

Calamity rushed past us. “Don’t just stand there gawkin’. Help me get this door shut before that darned river spills its banks completely and floods this hole!” He was trying to push the door physically. I looked down, noticing for the first time that the floor of the cave was already a puddle, two inches deep and growing.

Moved to action, I started to push against as well, while Pip rain ahead. I paused long enough to check the bolting mechanism (which was actually entirely missing), and making sure I’d be able to open it again. The thing was really heavy, barely moving an inch. The water continued to pour in was beginning to reach my ankles. I pushed harder to no avail, but then I heard a wheeze, and the door to Stable 24 slammed shut, groaning in protest.

“You realize you just locked us inside the Evil Scary Stable of Spookiness, right?” I teased our self-invited companions as he stared about the place in wonder, stifling a giggle from Pip.

“ah-Ah’m trustin’ yer right ‘bout what ya said earlier. Reckon if anypony knows better, t’would be you.” He shot Pip a nervous smile. “Besides,” he added, flapping his wings, “not like these are gonna do me any good down here, one way or t’other.”

My eyes caught the harness Calamity wore. The pegasus had twin long-range rifles, one strapped to each side of his body right under his wings, built into a saddle mechanism. Thin metal “reins” reached out in front of him, ending in a bit that hovered a few inches below his mouth. By biting on it, the sibling barrels would fire at once. The saddle was designed to reload on command; possibly triggered by pulling on the bit, or biting differently. I couldn’t tell.

“Hey, Calamity, I’ve been meanin’ t’ ask you, what is that?” I pointed at the contraption.

“What?” He turned looking around, spinning in place. We couldn’t suppress a laugh. He stopped, looking at me, then back behind him again once more before, “What, you mean my battle saddle?”

I nodded.

“Fine piece of work, ain’t it? I designed it myself!” He reared up, showing it off proudly. Then, at my expression, asked, “Ya mean t’ tell me ya ain’t never seen a battle saddle before?”

I shook my head.

“Well, ain’t that a thing!” He strutted about. “There’s basically two types o’ firearms, loosely speakin’. There’s the small ones that a pony can stick in ‘is mouth or levitate ‘round if he’s a unicorn. Then there’s the battle saddles, for all the firearms that are just too big an’ heavy an’ have too much kick t’ be wielded without support. Ah’ve seen all kinds of weapons built into battle saddles. Machine guns, rocket launchers…”

“Rocket launchers!” I saw Pip's tail droop and ears fall back.

“Ayep! Even magical energy weapons.” He paused. “…though those are damned scarce, so yer not likely t’ ever see one of ‘em yerself.”

I filed that away for future reference. Pip checked her PipBuck for radiation or similar dangers, and E.F.S. for any glows of hostility, I took a long gulp from my canteen as she began to plot our course. She led us through what was the cafeteria, living quarters, school and clinic. To the left, a corridor leading deeper into Maintenance, where Pip decided we should head first.

Calamity, meanwhile, had scouted all the immediately adjacent rooms. He came back with a mildly surprised look. “They gots a box o’ dynamite in the storage room over yonder.”

Okay, that was a bit surprising. “What was in it.”

“Dynamite, ah reckon,” Calamity said mock-scholarly. “In truth, Ah don’t know for sure. It was locked. And Ah wasn’t ‘bout t’ go shakin’ it like a birthday present t’ try’n figure it out. On the chance it might be fulla, y’know, dynamite.”

I followed the rust-colored pegasus back to the storage room to check it out. But after three tries, and the loss of two more bobby pins, I had to admit the lock was beyond even my expertise. Instead, Pip suggested we move on along the path I originally planned.

The door to the living quarters slid open with a reassuring hiss. The lights gave off a familiar whine… those that still worked. Seeing this place in rust and ruins was unpleasant in a way that I couldn’t describe. It was like walking through my own, personalized version of the post-apocalypse. I was finding doors that wouldn’t open. The floor was strewn with tin cans and litter. The generators, uncared for, were making an odd, rhythmic chirring. And from deeper within came chugging, banging and hissing sounds that sent shivers down my spine.

I turned to look back at Calamity and caught him picking bottle caps up off the floor. I decided to find anything useful as well. Looting and scavenging was survival out in the Equestrian Wasteland. And, logically, that applied to in here too. But, even more than stripping goods off fresh corpses, this felt like grave robbing.

My thoughts scattered as, overhead, a burst of thunder hit so close to the cave that we could hear it inside the Stable. “What the hell…?” Pip stammered, waving her fore hooves to indicate the sky outside.

“Ah told ya. Thunderstorm.”

“That isn’t like any storm I’ve read about in my textbooks,” She countered.

"What kind of stuff did they teach you?" I asked.

Calamity looked at her with a softly mocking expression. “Weather ain’t like it used ‘t be. The sun an’ moon ain’t guided through the sky by ponies anymore. We pegasus…”

“The Goddesses Celestia and Luna move the sun and the moon through the sky each and every day!” She shot back, scandalized. Geez! What's her problem?

“Oh yeah.” He rolled his eyes at me. Rolled his eyes! “From their place in pony heaven. Right.”

She bristled. He stared quietly until she gave in, motioning for him to continue. “As Ah was sayin’, we pegasus ain’t around schedulin’ the weather, neither. Equestria’s weather has gone wild.”

"What's the big deal? Where I come from that how the weathers always been."

PIp looked at me in shock.

"What?"

“Huh,” I thought aloud. “There’s only one section of bathrooms.” At least, only one in the living quarters section of the Stable. The floor outside was wet and I could hear a roar gurgling, splashing sounds from behind the bathroom door. With the downpour outside, every sink and toilet was backing up.

The same went for the water fountains. The one between the school and the living quarters was spraying brown water. The horrible noises were coming from the pipes and plumbing rather than unnatural monsters.

Pip stopped dead as a red spot flashed her E.F.S. Somewhere, just ahead of us, was surely one of the creatures Crane had talked about. Not, I realized, that either of us had bothered to get a description.

“So… any idea exactly what sort of ‘varmints’ we’re supposed to be looking for down here?” Pip whispered as we crouched down, moving as stealthily as possible.

I noticed the sleeping areas were segregated, the main floor for stallions and a lower one for mares.

“Actually no,” Calamity whispered back. “And as Ah recall, we ain’t supposed t’ be lookin’ for ‘em. We’re supposed t’ just close the door.”

“As I recall,” I retorted, maybe a slight bit less quietly than I should have, “I’m supposed to be closing the door. You aren’t supposed to be anywhere.” I couldn’t deny that he had a point. In fact, if trapped inside a creature’s lair, poking around was probably the dumbest thing a pony could possibly do. My curiosity and sense of connection wouldn’t allow me to leave it unexplored. And if I was trapped in here for a few hours, well, no time like the present.

Calamity shook his head, but followed all the same.

We moved a few steps closer, and the red spot winked out. Pip turned quickly, trying to see if it had somehow gotten behind us, but there was nothing. Either the creature had evaporated, or we were right on top of it, one floor up. We crouched there, keeping still and quiet. After a moment, the red spot appeared again, once more right in front of us. And a few seconds later it vanished once more. This time, apparently, for good.

Aside from age and deterioration, the school in Stable Twenty-Four looked exactly like the ones back home. Students tables, all in nice little rows. A sharing area with toys. The teacher’s desk, with a terminal, pencils and even a long-rotted apple. The only real difference was a large glass tank which could have once been an aquarium.

The constant banging and screaming of the pipes was adding to my discomfort and giving me a mild headache for good measure. Worst of all, we had encountered three more “ghosts”; hostile entities that appeared on the E.F.S, but nowhere else; a matter not at all helped by the fact that me and Calamity had no PipBuck's of our own so we couldn’t tell what Pip was reacting to.

We entered a class and began to look around. There were several books still shelved, and a terminal of the teachers desk. I found some more bottle caps in an empty trash can.

“Ya'll ever heard of anypony named Prince Celest?” Calamity called over to us as he looked at a book on a desk.

“What?” I walked over. “Lemme see that,” Pip said, snatching the book from the desk in front of him with a glow of telekinesis.She read a few sentences, then slammed the book shut to look at the cover. “The Stallion in the Moon?!”

Calamity chuckled. “Y’know, Ah think ah member my ma readin’ me a story like that… only, it was a mare in the moon, if I recollect.”

“That’s because it’s supposed to be The Mare in the Moon!’ Quickly, She began looking through the other books on the desks and school shelves. When She was done, she began to list her observations. “One: every significant pony in every book had been changed into a stallion…”

“Well, ah suspect some of ‘em were stallions t’ begin with…”

“Two!” She continued undaunted, even though her voice sounded strained. “Not one story or textbook has anything but the vaguest references to the history or governance of Equestria.” She looked really frustrated.

“Y’know, yer gonna burst somethin’ if ya don’t calm down a touch.”

She tossed the book she was holding into the corner with malice. I was about to walk out, indignation wrapped about me like a cloak, when I remembered the terminal sitting on the teacher’s desk. The screen was giving off a soft glow. I walked over to see what secrets it held. Pip joined me soon after. There entries were mainly filled with notes on attendance and grades. Two stuck out though. First:

Had a real surprise when we tested the young unicorns on their magic today. I had all my little ponies bring in their pets and show me how they could make them levitate. Simple enough, although a squirming animal can add a level of difficulty for foals at this age. I had to let both Butter and Peridance each borrow the class mascot, since neither have a pet of their own. Peridance was thrilled, but I think Butter is terrified of the snake, even though she’s been told it’s defanged and harmless. Needless to say, Butter didn’t do very well.

The real surprise was little Quanta, who has been struggling with even minor levitation all year. Now I know these things have never been recorded in girls, but I can’t imagine any other explanation: we had a full magical epiphany occur right in our classroom. Quanta not only levitated herself, but she let out a flash of energy that affected all of the pets in the room. Most just panicked and had to be recovered, but some (including our mascot) seem to have vanished completely. And strangest of all, the arcane flash seems to have transformed Carrot Tail’s ugly old cat into… well, an even uglier old cat.

It only lasted a moment. Quanta seems fine. Didn’t even realize what she’d done. Of course, parents had to be called, and Carrot Tail is traumatized. It will be a miracle if I can teach these foals anything for the rest of the week. Meanwhile, I’m going to write up a proposal to have another unicorn stallion watch over these tests from now on. Just as a precaution.

The second entry that stuck out was four days later, and it was the last entry on the terminal:

I expected a few parents to keep their colts and fillies home after the excitement at the beginning of the week, but by now they should be letting them back. Instead, attendance is at its lowest yet. Over half my students have skipped their classes today. If things haven’t turned around after the weekend, I’m going to have to start calling parents. And if that doesn’t work, maybe even the Overstallion.

I stared at that last entry for a while.

“Wait… the Overstallion?” Pip asked, confused.

Calamity looked at me curiously. “What’s wrong?”

“This Overmare of this Stable was an Overstallion?”

I looked at her with an arched eyebrow. “What’s wrong with that?”

“The Overmare is supposed to be an Overmare. That’s what’s wrong.” Calamity narrowed his eyes.

“Are ya sayin’ a feller can’t do what a gal c’n do?”

Pip was taken aback. “N-no. It’s not that at all!” She waved her hooves in negation. “It’s just… It’s just the way it’s supposed to be. It’s tradition.”

"Odd tradition if you ask me." I muttered.

Calamity spoke up. “Ya sayin’ that even if there was a feller who was better at leadin’ a Stable than any other pony, stallion or mare, and had the cutie mark t’ show for it an’ everything, that he wouldn’ be allowed t’ on account he was a buck?”

Pip gulped, taking a step back. Wanting to ease the tension, I reached out and ruffled her hair, causing her to attempt to swat my hand away.

Calamity arched an eyebrow before let out a brief chuckle before turning to leave. This time, we followed him.

“Okay, now Ah do feel a bit embarrassed.”

In front of us was another door to Maintenance. To our right, the cafeteria. To our left, a maintenance store room. In the store room: a glowing terminal, several shelves of supplies, and a poster on the wall of a mighty stallion standing brave and tall, facing danger head-on, ready and able, while three mares crouched down at his hind hooves, frightened but looking up to him for salvation, adoration evident in their eyes.

Calamity felt embarrassed. Pip looked like she was creeping towards anger. I didn't really feel anything.

Pip soon spoke up, “Do you see… why I’m upset? This isn’t like, give it to the best pony, who cares about tradition. This is…”

“Ayep. This is manipulation. Alla these posters been here since before ponies trotted up into this Stable to avoid the apocalypse.” He turned and fixed me with a look. “It’s like sayin tha’ a job’s only fit fer either a mare or a stallion.”

I got the point.

“An’ that’s only true fer cookin’.”

I snorted back a chuckle as Pip looked steamed. “What?! What’s that supposed to… Oh. Ha ha. I guess I deserved that.”

“Ayep.”

I turned to hack the storeroom terminal and read over the logs of a pony who appeared to be the maintenance supervisor while Calamity and Pip hoof-picked some supplies worth scavenging. The clanging and banging of the pipes continued relentlessly.

I had just finished the fourth entry and was partway through the final entry when Pip noticed her E.F.S. flared up with not one “ghost” but five!

Entry One:
I cannot believe my luck. Persimmonie is one fine mare. The date last night went incredibly well. She even let me kiss her! And her little filly, Carrot Tail, seems to like me too. Even better, I kinda like her. I don’t have to pretend like I thought I would just to spend some more time with her mother. In fact, we have a second date planned tomorrow night.

Oh, and Greyhorn finally fixed the lighting on level 2-B. That flickering was driving everypony bonkers.

Entry Two:
Dammit, of all the luck. First, the whole lighting strip on guess-which-level blows out, plunging the damned atrium into blackness in the middle of rush. Even worse, Persimmonie postponed our date. Some unicorn filly did something wonky to Carrot Tail’s pet, and Persimmonie’s been with her all day trying to keep the little cunt from drowning in her own tears. I take it back. I hate children.

Entry Three:
Got called to the Overstallion’s office today. Big emergency that required my special talents. Any guesses? He locked himself out again. Again! This is the third time this week. Fortunately, any pony with half a lick of sense could get that thing open. Weakest damn lock I’ve ever seen. Still, just in case Greyhorn ever has to do it, I’ve left a handful of bobby pins and a copy of Today’s Locksmith in the Maintenance locker room safe. I’ve even highlighted the most useful bits for him. So as long as he doesn’t forget the password, even he shouldn’t have a problem. And I made the password his name, so… oh hell, he’ll still probably forget it.

Meanwhile, my love life’s taken a turn for the worse. Persimmonie’s filly is apparently in the clinic. I hear the cat attacked her. They’ll probably have to put it down.

Entry Four:
Where the hell is Greyhorn? Idiot missed his whole damn shift today. Called up to his room, but no answer. Goddammit, I’ve got to do everything around here myself.

Oh, I replaced the entire lighting assembly up on level 2-B and guess what? We’re still having problems. I swear to God the ponies who built this whole place must have been cutting corners. Probably cheated Stable-Tec out of fat loads of money. I hope their asses melted when the megaspells hit.

Entry Five:
Still no Greyhorn. Talked with some others, and they haven’t seen him either. Suggested I check medical. Would be just like him to find some way to fall and impale himself on his own horn.

Dammit, there’s that scratching sound again. Something’s managed to get into the ventilation system. I’ve removed several of the covers on this floor. Hopefully, whatever it is will fall out and I won’t have to send some colt crawling in after it. Did I mention how much I hate children?

Double-dammit. I just spotted the thing staring down at me. If I didn’t know better, I’d say it was Carrot Tail’s damn cat. But they caught it and put it down yesterday.

Tripple-dammit! The damn thing just bit me! I swear, I’m going to send a colt up there after it with a flamethrower!

Looking up, I saw the dark opening where the covering grate should have been. And several pairs of alien eyes gleaming at me.

“Guys, get back, they’re in the ventilation!”

They both backed away at my shout even as the first creature leapt out, landing on the shelving, spilling a bucket of fuses crashing to the floor. It looked only vaguely feline, but with scales rather than fur, oversized fangs and cat-like eyes save that the slits ran horizontally. Somehow, that last part freaked me out the most.

It leapt at me, I didn’t have time to draw the gun out, or even think. I reacted instinctually, grabbing the creature's and hurling it away from her. It thumped back against the wall, hissing as Pip kept it pinned with her magic.

A second jumped out, hitting the terminal, and fell to the floor. I raised a foot and brought it down as hard as I could on the creature’s head. Turning around I dealt the one Pip was pinning with a fatal kick.

The third jumped right down onto me, claws catching in my mane.

“Get it off!" I cried, panicking, sending an elbow through the terminal with a crunching of glass and a popping explosion. I could feel the hairs on my arm singeing.

I turned towards the doorway and saw Calamity taking aim.

BLAM!

I threw myself to the floor, trying to dodge the shot… a second after Calamity had already fired, ripping the cat-snake-thing apart and leaving me unscathed.

I got wobbly up to my feet, Pip rushing over to see if I was alright. I tried to smile, although I could feel it was more like a grimace. I turned to Calamity and read his face: he wanted to tell me I should trust him, to tell me to stop being afraid he was going to shoot us. But he wasn’t going to. He couldn’t because he knew I had every right and reason to have a itchy trigger finger around him.

In that moment, I realized something. He was actually sorry he shot us. He wasn’t here out of embarrassment. He wasn’t trying to fix some loss of reputation or standing, either in his eyes or anybody else’s. He really felt regretful that we nearly died.

I didn’t even realize I was thinking about him that way. But now I realized I had been. Dammit, now I felt like I should apologize to him.

I nodded in acknowledgement, a gestured he echoed before turning away, looking up at the ceiling. “Ah figure the sound of the shot scare’t ‘em off.”

“For now,” I agreed. I leaned back against the wall and slumped to the floor. "That was exhilarating."

"Are you ok?" Pip asked with concern.

I patted her in reassurance. "I'm fine Pip, really."

She smiled before giving me a hug, nuzzling into my chest. I returned the gesture resting my chin in her mane.

After our brief embrace Pip helped be up before glaring at the stupid poster. “I hate this Stable.”

Little Macintosh whipped around, firing off three more shots. Three more of the evil little cat-snake-things were blown into oblivion. They were easy to kill, which hardly made up for being so small, fast an agile.

Several more tried to jump onto Calamity, finding purchase with their claws. He bucked, throwing back his wings, sending them flying, and buck-kicked one of the fallen into a reddish paste. “How many… of these li’l monster… ya reckon we got?”

I fired at one of the creatures Calamity had thrown, hitting it dead on. The last got by me, leaping for Calamity’s back. I heard him howl as the creature sunk its teeth into the back of his neck.

“Hang on!” I wrenched the creature away, feeling Calamity's blood drip onto my arms. Tightening my grip, I raised my gun and fired.

“Damn, those things got a bite.”

“Hold still. Let me look.” Pip was already pulling medical bandages out of her saddlebags. I was nearly out of those. I knew we could get some in either the clinic or the living quarters bathroom.

We had gone through Maintenance, a trip that had been a long, wet but uneventful slog through the lowest part of the Stable which was half-filled with water. We had found the locker room, and with the password we had opened the safe. My bobby pin collection was now far more comfortable, and Today’s Locksmith was tucked neatly in my saddle bags. The only creatures we had found in Maintenance were dead. Drowned. Despite looking like a cross between a serpent and a cat, the little monsters didn’t seem able to swim.

We did, however, start finding skeletons. Sporadically at first, and now in groups. The closer we got to the atrium, the heart of the Stable, the more death we found.

No less than nine of the damn things chose that moment to attack us.

Wrapping Calamity’s wound, I grimaced at my lack of medical skill. If I tried to join the “Ministry of Peace” they’d kick me out on my tail. It was bad enough when only I would die if I didn’t know the right end of a potion bottle.

Finishing, I turned to see Pip head back down the way we came. “Okay, that’s it. I’ve been a dumb pony. We turn around, gallop back to the entrance as fast as we can, barricade ourselves and wait the damn storm out. Then we leave and close the door behind us.”

“ahm… actually… Ah vote we continue t’ the clinic.”

I turned, surprised. Seeing Calamity, my surprise turned to shock. Then horror.

“Ah’m guessin’ y’all…” he teetered, looking pale beneath his coat. “…would keep somethin’ there for… y’know… poison?”

Thump. Down went the pegasus.

“Calamity!”

Chimera

from the personal notes of Doctor Brierberry, Head of Medicine, Stable 24

I’ve chosen to call this new species “chimera” for what I feel are suitably obvious reasons. The creature is a result of a wild magical burst from a rather exceptionally gifted filly named Quanta. In a flash of uncontrolled magical power, Quanta managed to fuse several creatures within her vicinity into a single being -- a fully functional and completely new life form.

The initially created chimera took several days to molt before revealing its true nature, during which time another filly, Carrot Tail, was attacked by the creature. She was rushed to the clinic, but perished within hours from an unknown magical toxin injected into the child by the creature.

After molting, the chimera subsequently attacked a maintenance worker by the name of Greyhorn. This time, both the chimera and its victim were fully mature. Based on the case of Carrot Tail, we treated Greyhorn with antivenom spells and potions, but to no avail. Greyhorn lasted three times as long as Carrot Tail, and was in extreme agony for most of that period. It was only after Greyhorn’s death that we learned the key component of the chimera’s make-up.

As you will be able to see from the images I am having attached to this document, the feline and serpentine elements of the fusion are quite obvious. (See images C-1 and C-2) What we initially didn’t realize, couldn’t have suspected, is that there had been some manner of insect in the classroom when Roe cast her spell, and that too was infused into the creature on a deeply inherent level. You see, the fangs of the chimera aren’t so much like the fangs of a rattlesnake, but more akin to an insect’s ovipositor.

The behavior of this species is extremely aggressive, attacking any suitable host within which it can inject its eggs. Over the course of a single day, those eggs will mature within the host, after which a litter of new, baby chimera will dig their way out of the infected pony, ultimately killing the host if the pony is not already dead. In the case of Greyhorn, five new chimera erupted from his body less than an hour after he was pronounced dead. (See image C-3) You can imagine the look on my assistant’s face. (But you don’t have to. See image C-4)

Fortunately, from the case of Greyhorn, and the baby chimera specimens he provided us with, we have been able to devise and conjure an anti-chimera potion. Unfortunately, some of the herbs required were in tragically short supply, so there is a high probability that we will not have sufficient quantities for everyone. The Overstallion is keeping one bottle locked away in his office, along with the recipe. Meanwhile, I am storing the rest in the medical refrigerator here in the clinic while I wait for the Overstallion’s decision on how to implement dispersal.

By the time we were done reading, horror turned me numb. Slowly, I got up from Doctor Brierberry’s terminal and stared about the clinic. There were pony skeletons everywhere. Dozens of them surged towards the open door of the medical fridge. Others were entangled around each other.

A new species, extremely hostile, which renders its victims immobile with a single bite and then tortures them to death from the inside over most of a day… and in doing so can quintuple its number?

I swiftly realized the only thing that had kept the chimera from overrunning the Equestrian Wasteland was that river and the fact that these chimera can’t swim.

If we survived this, I was going to have a little talk with Crane about his definition of a “small bit o’ trouble”.

I looked at the bed Calamity was resting on, looking even weaker than before.

Pointlessly, I stepped over and swung back the door of the fridge, already knowing I would find nothing inside.

Pip walked to the clinic window and looked out into the atrium. The room was dark. Every light in it had failed. The only illumination came from the couple still functional lights of the clinic, and the stuttering, flickering light from the circular window in the Overstallion's office above. If there was a single dose of the… “antidote”… left, it would be locked away in a safe up there. The only way to get to it was through the atrium.

The atrium was teeming with chimera.

I looked back at Calamity to check on the wound. It was staring to swell up badly, and I couldn't tell how much time he had left.

Hearing Pip clear her throat I turned to her.

"I have a plan."

"No." I stated after she finish

“That’s insane.” Calamity agreed

Pip's horned glow, and slipped open her saddlepack. “I’ll be okay.”

“No your won’t! That’s suicide! You'll end up getting yourself and Calamity killed!"

She looked at me sternly. “Let me guess. You’re thinking you should do it yourself. Calamity isn't strong enough to stand, and somepony has to look after him and make sure none of those Chimera get to him."

The rust-colored pegasus managed to look cross. “Then get yerselves out of here. Least two of us will survive this crazy Stable.”

Now I got to play cross. “I’m not leaving a friend behind.” I reloaded my gun.

Calamity caughed. He looked a me with genuine astonishment. “Friend? But… Ah shot ya.”

I rolled my eyes as Pip spoke. “Yes, you did. And I’m planning to remind you about that for the rest of your life. And I’m sure not going to get my blood’s worth if you die today.”

“Don’t be a stubborn fool, LilPip. There’s no way in tarnation ya can possibly make it there without attracting attention.”

"He's right Pip, you can't..."

Levitating the StealthBuck up for us to see, she smiled with a whole lot more confidence than I felt. “I do have this.”

"Ah never asked. But what kinda creature are ya?"

It had been an hour since Pip left, with no word what so ever.

"My species scientific name is Homo Sapien, but I prefer human."

"Human huh? Ah've never seen your kind before."

"That's cause I'm not from this here."

"What do ya mean?"

"I mean, I'm not from this world."

"...What?"

I sat down on a nearby bed, "brace yourself. "It's a long story."

Pip arrived by the time I was finished. Calamity was still surprised about me being an "alien" but we would come to that later. After giving Calamity the antidote she stated it was going to take some time for him to recover. There was no way to know how long. Carrying the pegasus, I followed her on the path back, all too aware that the damn chimera were using the ventilation and that even cleared areas were not to be trusted.

We made it all the way back to the storage room near the main door. Sitting down with Today’s Locksmith, I went though, finding all the tips I could in a short amount of time. The highlighting really helped.

Outside, thunder shook the mountain reassuringly. I looked up and thanked Celestia for the storm.

The tips from the book proved useful. With a bit of effort and only one bobby pin, I was able to get the box marked dynamite. Inside, there was indeed dynamite. We removed each stick gingerly. Then placed a curled up Calamity into the box, closing it. Should a chimera come for him while we were busy, we didn’t want it to be able to get at him.

For the next few hours, we ran back through the entirety of Stable Twenty-Four. Everything but the atrium, opening each door that could be opened, and then blocking them with a trash can or a tipped-over filing cabinet or anything else that would keep the doors from closing.

As for the Atrium, after looting the clinic for medical supplies, I left a stick of burning dynamite on the windowsill of the Clinic and ran.

The rest of the dynamite was to blow the cave opening enough to bring the river pouring in. By the time Pip was ready to set that off, Calamity had gotten up and wondered why he was packaged as high explosive. His eyes got wider and wider as I explained what we were doing.

“Dayumn!” That was all.

We’d been down in Stable Twenty-Four for most of the night. It was dawn by the time we returned to New Appleloosa. The storm had eased up during that time.

Candi was kind enough to let me and Pip crash on unused beds in her clinic. More than fair payment for giving her the anti-chimera cure.

It was still raining after I woke up, later in the afternoon. And it was late evening before Calamity had woken up and trotted out to join me. By then, Pip had finally been making some progress under Crane’s tutelage. She was panting, sweating heavily, as we stopped for a Sparkle~Cola break.

“I say we’re even,” I told Calamity as Crane floated an ice-cold Sparkle~Cola over for each of us.

“Ah don’t understand.”

“If we’d just stayed put at the door, you would never have been bitten.”

“If we’d stayed at the door, ya never woulda got the antidote.”

“If we’d stayed put, you never would have needed it.” Pip joined in.

“Ah-ha! But somepony else might! Crane said they’d been havin’ trouble with the critters, so obviously some of ‘em had been gettin’ out.”

Crap! I’d forgotten all about that. Still, with luck, and with their nest destroyed…

“It wasn’t yer Stable, y’know.” Calamity’s voice had taken a solemn quality.

Pip looked at our new friend. “What?”

“Ah know ya grew up in a Stable. But it wasn’t that Stable.It’s just… ya seemed t’ be takin’ what we found down there, Ah dunno… personally.” He looked at her earnestly. “Ah just wanted t’ remind ya, is all.”

I never grew up in a Stable. i could see that to Pip, Stable Twenty-Four become a personal affront. The inside probably reminded her of where she grew up and the incident with the Chimera's could've happened at Stable Two. I can't imagine what she was going through.

“Oh!” Pip pulled out a recording tape she probably got from the Overstallion's office. “Should we hear what’s on it?”

I'm Back!

Sorry about the delay, but I've been dealing with a lot of College work.

Also, my niece recently turned 2 on Oct. 1st, so as a birthday gift, I took her to see My Little Pony: The Movie.
Which was very good in my opinion.

I'm getting back to work on Operation Shattered Glass, and I'll try to update this more often. Till next time guys!