Episode One - The Fake Saiyan
'This sucks...'
That was the only thought in my head as I groaned and woke up on the ground. I should just get a bed to sleep more comfortably in this dammed castle. Hmm? Who am I? Well, my name is- or at least was- Jake Meister, but now, you can call me Black. Yup, the one from the Dragon Ball Super anime.
No, I'm not joking, and I'm not drunk either. Sure, I could possibly be dead, or in a coma, but I'm starting to doubt that. After all, hell should be a place of eternal suffering and where souls are sent to be punished, and the only thing being punished here is my back as I have to sleep on the hard ground. And there's also no way that this is heaven because, you know, pain in the back from sleeping on the ground.
Hey, it's very uncomfortable, okay! So excuse me if I'm complaining so much about sleeping on the dammed cold and hard ground!
Ahem, moving on...
So, I landed in this place roughly two months ago, and I have been living in the woods ever since, as I had no idea if the inhabitants of this land are hostile or not, considering the variety of predators I found in this forest. I like to train regularly, so I can be strong enough to defend myself, and also because I haven't anything else to do here.
Oh? You want to know how I came to be here? Well, it happened like this...
TWO MONTHS AGO
CACHET TOWN CONVENTION
(Yes, my town is named Cachet. Leave me alone.)
"I can't believe you had that much material to make our outfits, Jake."
"No kidding, man. I knew ya could be creative when ya wanted, but damm this is very good."
"Yeah yeah, you guys said that the entire way. Now shut up."
Me and my two friends, John and James were going to our first convention. Yep, all our names start with 'J'. Deal with it. Moving on, the reason for their excessively repetitive praising was because I had managed to put together three almost perfect copies of three Dragon Ball Super characters. These in question being Goku, Vegeta and Black's clothes. It took a lot of time and effort, but when I finished, one could say that it was a mirror image from the ones the characters wear.
But there's one thing that I don't like: exaggerated praise. Sure, a 'Nice job' or a 'You did very good' are appreciated, but John and James are practically worshiping me! Anyways, we were like this: I was dressed as Black, James as Vegeta and John as Goku. We have even gone so far as style our hair. That was a pain to get right, so in the end we decided on wearing wigs.
After the excessive thank you session, we tried some lines from the characters we were dressed as along the rest of the way. I admit, that was fun.
"I plan to eliminate all mortals, as they are making this land ugly, and there's nothing you two can do to stop me!"
"No way! I won't let you do that!"
"Stop, Kakarot. I am the one that's going to defeat him! Prince Vegeta!"
After arriving at the convention, we decided to split up to look around. Each one of us followed a different direction and soon we were a little ways away from the others. I wanted to take a look at the stalls and what they were selling. Some things looked very realistic, like that beam saber. I could swear it was exactly like the one Zero uses in Megaman Zero. But what caught my attention was one stall that had the one thing my outfit was missing: the Time Ring Black uses.
Approaching the stall, there was a weird guy behind it, but I wasn't paying attention though. I moved almost automatically, and before even my brain registered it, words were flowing from my mouth.
"How much for the Time Ring?" I asked.
I heard what vaguely sounded like a chuckle from the guy. "For you, Fake Saiyan, I'll make it twenty bucks."
If I had paid attention at the time, I would have questioned what he meant, but I didn't. Instead I paid the necessary amount and left the stall, and when my senses finally returned, I was on a bench holding the ring in one hand. Shrugging, I put it on my right hand index finger. And then came a falling sensation as everything went white.
UNKNOWN LOCATION
I groaned as I sat up.
"Oww, my back hurts like hell..."
I frowned. That wasn't my voice. Heh, if I wasn't so drowsy, I would swear I sounded just like Black. Gah, and what's with this itching in my head!? I reached up to the wig and pulled.
Pain.
I was so surprised by the pain that I said the first thing that came to mind.
"Ahh, motherfucker!"
...My mind is not one of the bests. Anyway, the surprise made my eyes snap open. I regretted that immediately as the sun assaulted my unprotected eyes, and for the second time in a span of seconds, I swore.
"AHH, SON OF A BITCH!!!"
After probably breaking the record of most swears in one breath, I calmed down enough to take a look at my surroundings. I was in a clearing in the middle of a forest, probably very far from civilization if the absence of traffic sounds was anything to go by. Great, I'm lost... Survival training kicked in instantly as I thought that. First I had to check myself for any injuries.
"Okay, let's see now... No limbs missing, no broken bones, no bleeding, no..."
I stopped as I felt something was off about my body. Without thinking I sprang to my feet and started searching for a lake or something to look myself at. When I found one, I knelt down and looked, expecting to see my normally light skin and deep blue eyes. Nope, the face that stared back at me was Black's. As in, the guy who stole Goku's body.
Looking at the reflection, my reflection, my mind shattered and I couldn't contain myself so I let out a very manly shout.
...
...
...
Okay fine, I screamed like a little girl, are you happy now?
After calming down and making sure I wasn't dreaming (my head still hurts after banging it at that tree. But my revenge came as the tree split and fell over. Heh.), like any good nerd, I entered full fanboy-mode.
"OhmygawdIcan'tbelieveit! I'm Black! I'M FRICKIN' GOKU BLACK!!! BOOYEAH!!! AHAHAHA!!! LOOK AT ME NOW, LOSERS! WHO WANTS A PIECE OF ME NOW!!!"
It was probably half an hour later that my fanboyism was interrupted my a growl. I froze and slowly turned my head to look behind me. There, standing a few feet away were three wolves. And not normal wolves either: wolves made of wood. Two were as tall as my chest, and the other stood more than a head taller than me. I gulped and slowly started stepping backwards.
"U-uh, nice w-wolfy... N-nice..."
I didn't exactly understood what happened after that. The two smaller wolves leapt at me and I lifted my two arms forward in surprise. A flash happened and then there was smoking pieces of wood all around the ground. I blinked and stared at my hands. Did... Did I just destroyed the wolves with Ki? I felt a big smile appear on my face. Oh, this is gonna be good...
There's not much to tell after that. Destroyed the wolf, learned how to control my Ki, started training and avoided locals for the last two months. Call me a coward, but I prefer to stay here than be found by the government and become a test subject. Sure, I could escape easily if they captured me now, but that would require an amount of blood that I'm not willing to shed.
I'm currently living on a abandoned castle I found in the woods, and boy has this place seen better days. I didn't question the fact that IT WAS A FRICKIN' CASTLE, because I had never traveled far in the woods. I could become famous with this discovery, and have so much money... Back to reality, I just finished my morning exercises, so now it's time to do one of my favorite things to pass the time: pretend to be Black!
...Yeah, go ahead and call me childish. I'm an anime nerd, so fuck off.
I walked in the throne room and sat upon the destroyed throne, eyes closed and my face a perfect copy of Black's calm demeanor and voice.
"So much mortals... This place is overflowing with them. This place is infected by them, and it's my job to eliminate them and start over, to once again make this land beautiful. And when I finish my Zero-Mortals plan, I'll be a god!..."
I trailed off as I opened my eyes and stared at the creature before me. A tiny purple colored horse with wings and a horn, a dark blue mane with a magenta stripe running through it and huge eyes, also purple. Oh, and apparently on her face is a horrified expression. We stared at each other, and I was the first to break the silence.
"...Da Fak?"
BLAST!!!
