Close your blinds!by EvilhumourChaptersChapter One: Washing the Rainbow!Her dysfunctionFor Prince and Country!This is why we close our blinds!Chapter One: Washing the Rainbow!Chapter One It began like any other day in Ponyville, which was quiet and low-key but all ponies knew that it would change shortly and something odd would happen. Little did they know it would not be due to the massive splash of mud, but a unicorn forgetting to close their blinds… Elusive let out a smile as he did a few final touches on his breakfast, spreading out the sour cream on his bagel when he heard rapid banging on his back door. Frowning, the unicorn took the plate with him, holding it carefully in his magic as he trotted to the door and opened to see a mud-plastered blue pegasus looking at him. “Hey Elusive, can I use your shower?” his friend Rainbow Blitz asked him, tilting his head in a way that splashed mud over his clean kitchen! Elusive simply looked at the pegasus before his mind settled on the most pressing issue at the moment. “Why don’t you use your own shower, Blitz?” Elusive asked sharply, standing still as to not let Blitz think he could walk into his house and track mud everywhere. “‘Cause I’ve had some issues with the clouds that go to my water collection basins that I’m getting an expert to come in and check later this week,” Blitz then sighed and flicked his wings out, getting mud all over his clean walls! “Besides, this damn mud is really thick and I can’t even fly right now.” “Wait, really?” Elusive blinked, noticing how agitated Blitz was looking right now, fidgeting on the spot. “Yah,” Blitz held out a mud crusted wing in front of him, visibly struggling to keep it straight. “I can’t get into the air or lift anything, and it’s really starting to get to me so I can please get wet in your house?” Elusive’s ear twitched at the phrasing but he relented and allowed his friend inside, tracking muddy hoofprints everywhere. Making sure he wasn’t grinding his teeth as mud splattered onto his table, he directed Blitz up the stairs with his tail slapping mud on his walls with a swish swish that was oddly hypnotic in a way. He had never got a chance to see his friend from this angle before as he preferred to fly everywhere and Elusive never noticed how compact his athletic friend was; a tight well muscled body in such a light frame, with his jagged mane drawing the eye from his crown to his highly tonned plot. “So what happened Blitz?” Elusive asked as he tried to steer his mind away from those thoughts. “Promise not to tell anypony?” Blitz asked, a faint blush visible behind the mud on his cheeks. Elusive nodded his head with Blitz pausing on the steps. “I was having a really good dream, and I kinda rolled off the cloud I was napping on.” With Blitz shuffling on his hooves, Elusive knew that there was more. “What kind of dream?” Elusive asked his friend with a smirk as he saw Blitz’s ears fold backwards. “Who was in it this time?” “...Glide and Firestorm,” Blitz muttered under his breath, walking up the rest of the steps and making a beeline for his bathroom. “Really now, both of your bosses?” Elusive chuckled, placing his breakfast on a vase stand. “With you and captain Firestorm having your way with Glide?” Blitz froze with a hoof reaching to the doorknob, his ears upright and beet red. He bit his lip before saying in a hushed voice, “Actually, they’re were both doing me…” Elusive blinked before raising a hoof. “But Glide is a mare…” “She had a strap-on, okay?” Blitz all but shouted, face flushed. “Also another reason I couldn’t fly back up home as flying around with wood would not go well.” “Personal experience, I suppose?” Elusive teased his friend as he opened the door, moving his blue well toned plot pass the doorframe. “Yeah,” Blitz called out from the bathroom. “So lucky my dad was chief that I didn’t get in more trouble...still a very awkward chat at home.” Elusive had to bite his lip as not to burst out in laughter, shaking his head at his friend. He stood by the doorway, lifting the bagel to his lips when Blitz called out again. “Uhh, El, how the hell do I work your shower?” WIth a sigh, Elusive put his breakfast down again and walked into the bathroom to see the pegasus struggling to use his unicorn tap shower. Facehoofing, he lit up his horn and turned on the cold water first… With a yelp, Blitz danced around in the tub before shooting Elusive a dirty look. Elusive simply smiled more and turned on the hot water. “That good?”he asked as he fiddled with the temperature, with the pegasus nodding his head. “Thanks again,” Blitz said as he reached for the bar of soap, only for it to prove too slippery to keep a hoof on, the pegasus swearing as it landed in front of him. Blitz then bent down for the bar of soap with his plot in the air, tail swishing back and forth. Elusive let out a sigh, knowing exactly what he had to do now. Rainbow Blitz was doing his utmost not to rub his stallionhood right now, with that hot dream still running his head, the water stimulating his body, everything that was happening almost identical to his fantastic dream and Elusive just climbed into the shower WHY DID ELUSIVE CLIMB INTO THE SHOWER‽ “Uhhh,” Blitz asked, realizing he couldn’t turn his body around and turned his head to stare at the unicorn who was very close to his hindquarters. “El?” “You’re having issues with the soap,” Elusive said, running the bar of soap along his body. “I can help you out here and,” he paused with a bottle flying past his right side. “I do have special shampoo that gets out gunk like mud and tree sap due to the Cutie Mark Cavaliers’ adventures.” “That makes sense,” Blitz admitted, slowly turning his head forward as his friend sprayed him down with the white gunk and thanked all the time he spent fooling around in Summer Flight Camp had taught him how to hide his body from showing how much he was getting turned on right now. He had to stop himself from thinking of all the time he and Guilder had done it as this was so...exactly... the same way they stated their foreplay because he didn’t want Elusive to think he was making a move on him. Oh by Solaris’s nutsack, was Elusive making a move on him‽ No, he couldn’t be making a mo-OH BY SOLARIS HOLY DICK WHY WAS ELUSIVE MOVING CLOSER‽ “El?” Blitz asked as he felt Elusive’s chest brush against his tail. “I’m just getting closer so I can get your face, Blitz,” he said as he started to getontoHISBACKOHFAUSTABOVEELUSIVEWASONHIM! Elusive wasn’t quite sure how he wound up in this situation, washing his friend’s entire, well-toned, muscular, handsome, alluring, powerful frame but he was sure that Blitz was on the same mental level by all the squirming and shuddering he was doing. Still, the ball was still in his court so he decide to push the advantage. Walking forwards, he saw Blitz tense up immediately, with the multichromatic tail smacking him in the chest. “El?” he whimpered, still looking forwards and his cheeks blazing red hot. “I’m just getting closer so I can get your face Blitz,” Elusive said as he began to mount his friend, rubbing the soap and shampoo under his wings as he got close to Blitz’s face. It was now or never, if he wanted this to happen. In five. Okay, he could do this! He was Rainbow McDanger Blitz, he had been through this song and dance before and he could do it again! Elusive might even be a fun bang buddy! He knew Elusive’s head was near his left wing so a few seconds, he would surprise his friend by planting a kiss on his lips in five. Four. Three. Two. One. Now! Blitz turned his head to show what a pegasus could with his mouth...only for Elusive to lift his head to kiss his friend’s clean neck. Which meant both of them had a rather hard meeting of their heads. Elusive stumbled backwards, kicking Blitz’s leg out from under the pegasus which caused the pegasus to land on top of him, muzzle to muzzle. Elusive looked up at the gleaming blue pegasus, his rainbow mane a mixture of colours running down his face. Blitz looked down at the still white unicorn, his purple mane flaring out on the tub floor. The two of them looked each other in the eyes, azure meeting cerise. There was a moment of utter silence beyond the patter of the shower head running water down Blitz’s down. He then lunged in sync with Elusive, lips meeting each other and a whole new world was discovered. Elusive was in paradise and it tasted like strawberries. He thought Blitz would just force his way into his mouth but no, his friend was an elegant dancer, his tongue so gentle and maneuverable it made his mind race for reason as he tried to deal with the pure sensation of bliss as the pegasus firmly but gently rubbed his body down with his hooves. Already, it was pouring blood towards his stallionhood and they only started kissing! Elusive was no slouch in the tongue department, certainly no pegasus or griffon but buck him he was good! Although he had yet to feel Elusive rub him, after all the attention he was giving to his unicorn fr-THERE IT WAS! His eyes rolled into the back of his head as he felt Elusive’s magic cover his entire body and began to send him to heaven! Everything became sharper; he could feel all the drops of water running down his body, he could feel Elusive’s magic focus on his plot, he could smell the musk that was beginning to grow, he could hear Silver open the door downstairs and call out for Elusive, he could feel Elusive’s diiiiWAITWAITWAITWAIT “WAIT!” he shouted, pushing off of a very confused looking Elusive. “Crapcrapcrapcrapcrapcrapyourbrotherishere!” Elusive’s eyes became pinpricks, scrambling to get to his hooves as Blitz grabbed a towel and wrapped it around himself, covering up his erection to little success. “Elusive?” Silver called out as the colt came up the staircase and the stallions had a moment of panic as they realized the door was still open. “Hi there,” Elusive said, panting as he sat beside Blitz and putting on a big smile as to not worry his brother. “What are you doing home so early?” Silver gave them an odd look as he pulled out a book from his saddlebag. “I forgot this on the table this morning,” he said slowly, looking at the both of them. “What’s going on?” “Well,” Blitz stammered, wondering how much was too much for a colt his age to hear. Probably everything. “Umm.” “Blitz here needed to use our shower,” Elusive said, tapping his shoulder as their tails wrapped around each other. “Why, what’s wrong with his?” “His hot piping isn’t working,” Elusive said with an internal wince that even Blitz could hear. “And he fell into some mud so he needed to wash his cuteeeie mark and body.” “Okaaaay,” Silver said slowly, looking at his brother now. “Why are you so wet?” “Uhhhhh,” Elusive trailed off, stammering and looking at him for help. “I couldn’t use your shower so Elusive helped turn me on...the water,” Blitz rambled out, feeling his ears heat up. “And then I got him wet by splashing him with the water from the shower.” “Yeah, that’s it!” Elusive nodded his head before grinning widely at his brother. “Nothing else happened!” Silver Bell looked at them before shrugging and walking down the stairs. Both Blitz and Elusive waited until they heard the door close before letting out a sigh of relief and starting to laugh at the whole situation. “So that happened,” Blitz said with his tail twitching; his stallionhood receding into him. “Indeed it did,” Elusive let out a content sigh. “Never thought you would be so good with your mouth.” “Eh, you have to be good with your mouth if you got feathers,” Blitz grinned to himself, running his tongue over his teeth. “Then again, I am Rainbow McDanger Blitz so of course I’m go-” He was cut off when Elusive bopped his nose with his breakfast, getting some white stuff on his face. With a coy laugh, Elusive then leaned closely and licked his white cream off of him with his tongue. It was still not a pegasus’s tongue but damn did it cause him to get hard again in a instant. With a blush racing across his cheeks as Elusive pulled back while licking his lips and looked him into the eyes. Blitz could feel his heart thundering in his head as he began to lean towards the unicorn with his eyes closed and lips primed for another fantas- “GAH!” he shouted as something very cold just clomped over his dick, causing him to flare out his wings. Opening his eyes, he could see Elusive’s bagel fly out from between his legs with the unicorn grinning at him. He quickly put two and two together and glared at him. “What the buck man, why did you doooooooooh,” Blitz’s entire face flushed as he figured out what two and two really equaled out into and couldn’t help himself from wiggling in anticipation as Elusive guided him to his bedroom with his cock covered in Elusive’s white stuff twitching to be cleaned as well as filling with his own white stuff. As soon as he placed a hoof into Elusive’s bedroom, he felt himself yanked forwards onto Elusive’s bed with the unicorn launching an assault on his lips. Blitz kissed back, trying to get his tongue into his friend’s mouth but the unicorn wasn’t opening his doors to him. With a squeak as Elusive pushed him backwards on the bed, the unicorn began to hold him down with his magic. “You interrupted my breakfast, Blitz,” Elusive said in a husky growl, his eyes running down from his face to his stallionhood standing tall and proud. “So I think I will have my fill.” With that as his only warning, Elusive leaned down and traced his tongue up his shaft. Blitz yelped in surprise at how fast Elusive was going with this as well as his fetish being used but it was far too quick for Blitz to just give up control. Elusive had to work for it dammit! Leaning upwards, he opened his mouth as Elusive ran his tongue over his dick again. “H-hey now,” he stammered as a wave of bliss ran through him. “I-” He was forced back down with Elusive’s magic pinning him down stronger now with his hind legs forced open and his forelegs to the corners of the bed. He couldn’t help himself now, a moan escaping his lips with all of his legs pinned down and being unable to move! He could feel his wings expanded out from his sides as Elusive stopped licking his stallionhood and gave him a perverted smirk. “My, does somepony like being held down, unable to move a single limb, at the mercy of another?” he purred out, his magic starting to put pressure onto his wings now, his mind going crazy at the slow build up Elusive was teasing him with. But..he couldn’t tell Elusive that so soon; he’d never get a chance to have Elusive’s dick if he tied him up like the naughty colt he was all the time! “Mayybe,” he whimpered as Elusive licked his tip now as well as put pressure onto his wing joints that made them feel like lead! Oh by Solaris’s beard, he was already getting close and they just started! Note to self, hook up with more unicorns in the future because magic was awesometastic! Elusive simply smirked at him before lowering his head back down to his throbbing stallionhood and began to trace his tongue along the tip. Oh nononononono, he wasn’t going to go out this easily or this quickly! He was Rainbow McDanger Blitz and if he could take a griffon, he could deal with a unicorn! Leaning as far as he could, he reached out with his tongue and encircled the tip of Elusive’s glowing horn with a light lick, causing the unicorn to shudder. So there was some merit to the junk about unicorn’s horns being sensitive . Pouncing on the opening, he continue to lick the horn with Elusive leaning closer to him before he stopped teasing his pecker and forced his tongue into his mouth. Blitz was now in his element, running his tongue all over Elusive’s and causing the unicorn to moan into his mouth. He was sure he would have gotten Elusive to cum if he didn’t need to breathe, but as both of them pulled back panting, it seemed Elusive had another idea in his head as he straddled him, with Elusive’s cock just out of sight but hard on his barrel. “By Solaris, I love your tongue Blitz,” Elusive growled, running a hoof down the pegasus’s side with the pegasus shuddering in delight. “Never got that hard by just a simple tongue.” He then leaned down to nip Blitz’s neck. “But I have been a bad host; I didn’t offer you anything to eat.” Before Blitz could say a word, Elusive turned around and presented Blitz his stallionhood. “How about some sauaaaa,” he moaned, as Blitz began to suck him, using his marvelous mouth and tongue on his dick. His tongue lap was a velvet cushion while his mouth pulled his cock in deep without so much as hint of his teeth. He moved with such speed that he normally associated with the pegasus but with such tender care that should have been impossible. Blitz’s mouth redefined what a blowjob could be; mixing the feel of lips in with the speed of jerking off with his magic pumping his dick non-stop. Oh, if only he could take the feel of Blitz’s mouth and make clothes out of it; he would have the best silk and velvet line of suits and dress in all of Equestria, with no seams or any stitches whatsoever. Still, he was determined to find out if the rainbow really tasted like strawberries so he bent down and started to take the erect penis into his mouth, doing his best to push it down his throat. He did not have a great amount of experience in this activity as he had not have that many stallion partners in the past, which was clear at how much Blitz was wincing every time he nicked the pegasus’s penis. Luckily for the both of them, he had magic. With his horn sending out another flicker of magic, he began to grab Blitz’s balls and began to play around with them. He squeezed and rolled them around, tugging ever so slightly and using his magic to vibrate them, everything he knew that usually got one of his partners putty in his hooves. Blitz proved to be made of stronger stuff, moaning heavily now but not ceasing his assault which was putting him close to the edge and if he knew his athletic friend correctly, Blitz would stop his magic if he got Elusive to go off first and for some reason that pushed Elusive to get him to cum first. With his mind a haze of lust and desire, Elusive recalled that his friend had a fetish for bondge and wagered that if he tugged that multichromatic tail, he would cause the pegasus to give him his special sauce. Pulling the tail straight up with a yelp heavy with a loud moan, Elusive was rewarded by Blitz slamming his hips into the unicorn’s muzzle and pushing his dick deep down his throat, shooting his hot salty spunk down his throat with a steady rhythm of cum filling his gut. He let out a content moan, his eyes fluttering as he felt himself in heaven as his friend’s seed filled his mouth, his concentration wavering for a mom- He let a yelp as Blitz suddenly went on the attack, his hooves rubbing his flanks expertly, his hindlegs locking his head in place and sensually and his wings massaging his sides. Oh by Solaris, he HAD to date more pegasi in the future if they could do that with their wings and mouths! Moaning with pleasure, he felt himself slammed past his point of resistance and brought to his climax, his cock exploding his own load into Blitz’s mouth but the pegasus wasn’t finished yet; he continued to pump his dick deeper into his mouth, straighttothehiltinaninstant, with his magical tongue moving around to lightly tap his balls! Elusive let out another loud moan, shouting Blitz’s name aloud as he reached his apex before his body became jelly, dimly licking the throbbing pegasus’s dick that was still spurting out some salty strawberry juices. He lost track of time but finally, Blitz was done pumping into his mouth and licking his dick. He then tapped Elusive’s flanks, trying to push him upwards. Elusive let out a groan, his legs weak as he pulled his cock out of Blitz’s mouth with a solid pop as he reluctantly let go of Blitz’s stallionhood with a wet glup. It showed how inexperienced he was as Blitz’s cock was still glistening with cum while his own stallionhood was clean as a whistle, only a few left over spurts smacking Blitz across the face and chest as his cock left the paradise that was Blitz’s lips. With a content sigh, Blitz rotated himself and went up to nuzzle Elusive’s face, with their peckers rubbing against each other and caused Elusive to shudder with delight. He then let out a small squeak of surprise as Blitz’s gave him a light kiss on the lips, none of the passion from before but still with the same tender care. “That, El,” Blitz panted as pulled the unicorn closer. “Was an awesomtastically great bang.” Elusive rolled his eyes at what Blitz said but couldn’t find it himself to disagree. “It was marvelous, Blitz,” he hummed, running a hoof down Blitz’s side. He then frowned and looked at his friend. “What does this make us?” Blitz stopped nuzzling him and got very serious. “Look Elusive,” he said calmly. “I’m not one for serious relationships or to see myself tied down to one pony for my entire life, but when I do get with somepony, I swear to treat the relationship with all the seriousness it deserves. I won’t see or bang anypony else unless you give me permission but when we’re done, you have to promise not to get jealous over who I am with next. And if things start to go south, we stop immediately. You’re one of my best friends, and I don’t want to do anything that would mess that up. You, Butters, Dusk, AJ and Berry are really important to me and junk and I so don’t want us banging to be the reason we’re no longer friends.” “I understand,” Elusive said, nodding his head. He understood what Blitz said was important to him and he could respect his reasonings. Still… “One question, though.” “Yeah?” Blitz looked at him with a tilt of his head. “Ready for round two?” he asked as he pushed the stallion over onto his back again, using his magic to rub Blitz’s stallionhood back to hardness. “You know it, El.” Blitz grinned, leaned up to kiss him, running his hooves up and down his side as they continued their love making. All the while unaware that a certain yellow pegasus was hovering outside the window, eyes wide open as he continued to watch his two friends go at it again. After a long period of time, he landed on the ground and made his way to his cottage to find his marefriend. To Be Continued Her dysfunctionEris let out a bored sigh as she floated around Butter’s cottage for the billionth time with her tummy rumbling to be fed. Petting the stomach in her hand, she grumbled at her silly, stubborn coltfriend. Of course he had to go out and get some sugar from one of his friends instead of letting her create some. Why did he have to take her advice now to be assertive? She wanted her pancakes danggit! It was so tempting to just snap up a plate of Butter’s pancakes but there were two problems with that: one, it wouldn’t be as good as Butters making it for her… and he would be unhappy at her. She frowned to herself, wondering when she had gone so soft. She used to be ruling this place until Sunflanks McLargebutt and Moonbutt stopped her by stoning her with those pesky Elements, and once she escaped, she had come this close to beating Harmony when Sunflanks’ lackeys stopped her. She paused, remembering how she first meet Butters; he was so damn nice that none of her usual tricks worked on him. Nothing she said caused him to flip his Element and she had been forced to do things directly. Then when Sun-Solaris, the mental correction a product of being near Butterscotch for so long, had decided that she could be ‘reformed’ and let her out. She had played along for the entire time until she was ready to really escape… and then Butterscotch happened! She couldn’t find it in her heart to hurt him and she put a halt to all her plans! That whole mess with Lady Tirek really made things more obvious that Butterscotch not only got under her skin but set up a freaking a timeshare in her heart! So yeah, she was in love with the pegasus that made her soft. … Didn’t hurt that he loved her back and did his best to make her happy. And it was a massive plus in his favour due to what he could do with his tong- The door slammed open behind her, and taking another page from Butterscotch’s book, she squeaked in surprise. Tossing the most lethal thing she had available, she watched her coltfriend duck the tiny white bunny rabbit flipping her off and plow straight into her with a savage kiss directed at her lips. She was sent into the coffee table, breaking it apart, while she was running her paw and talon rubbing up and down his sides. On one paw, she was surprised as all hell but on the talon- She squeaked in pleasure as Butterscotch destroyed her concentration when he forced his magical tongue into her mouth and showed her why she had her Once you go pegasus, you don’t go back shirt! Panting for air, she was given some time when Butterscotch broke the kiss and looked hungrily down at her. With a faint blush on her cheeks that she wasn’t embarrassed about because this was her Butterscotch seeing it, her mouth decided to ask a question while her body was quivering due to what she felt on her stomach was Butterscotch at half mast already! “You get the sugar, sugah!” she was cut off again when he reached up and chewed on her ear! She felt her body shift on her as Butterscotch lowered himself down while kissing and licking her neck, her malleable form trying to best position itself to be pleasured by her pegasus but no, she already had the perfect foooaaaahhsweetchaosbeingspankedinpubliclikethewhoreshewas Butterscotch licked her nipples with his special technique that drove her crazier! He then got down to her waist and her body decided it was time to change itself without her approval. As soon as Butterscotch reached her vagina, her head and tail swapped places with both of her lips salivating in anticipation at both of his magical tools. Although something was nagging her… Prince Solaris, the wise alicorn of the sun, the ruler with a thousand years of experience was frowning to himself as something felt off. He wasn’t the only one to notice it but as it was coming from Ponyville most were practicing the this-is-a-normal-day-for-those-crazy-bastards-if-I-don’t-ask-I-can’t-get-involved method to deal with it. Still, it was his duty to protect his ponies from any danger and that meant poking the hornet's ne-OH. Now he remembered where he had felt that buildup of chaos magic before and let out a sigh of relief. Nothing to worry abou- “Solaris, do you feel it too?” his brother Artemis asked as he galloped into the room. “That buildup of chaos magic? That fiend Eris is up to no good! We must stop her!” “Artemis, we shouldn’t go,” Solaris began to say to save his brother and himself an awkward situation but Artemis had already jumped the crossbow and interrupted him. “Of course, one must stay to protect Canterlot,” Artemis declared, stamping his hoof before teleporting away. Solaris counted down from five to four, three, two and now. Artemis teleported back into the room, face completely purple and the blush continued along his brother’s body with his wings pressed to his side with wide eyes. Solars simply smiled at his brother and asked, “And what did we learn, Artemis?” “We learned that our dear friend Butterscotch is not meek when it comes to passion of lovemaking and that he should close his front door so that no others inadvertently stumble in and witness the Draconequus... mating rituals.” He shuddered and looked at his brother. “I do believe I require a shower, among other things.” “You go do that, Arty, I need to find an umbrella,” Solaris said, which attracted his brother’s attention. “I have seen this before and trust me, when Eris is like this, she becomes very predictable.” Artemis was torn between taking a very cold shower and learning what his brother knew about Eris being predictable. With a sigh that came from knowing he should have stayed in bed today, Artemis followed his brother out into the hallway. Eris’s ear twitched as she heard someone teleport nearby, squeak like a filly and teleport away but didn’t pay it any mind as she took Butterscotch's enormous black dick down her throat with her bear paw rubbing his balls as her large eagle talon flew up to rub his wing joints with her hoof and dragon foot both kicking the ground as her dragon tail swept across the room with the ecstasy she felt from how Butters dominated her walls with his heavenly tongue! She’d give up being an avatar of chaos if she could have this for the rest of her lif- She let out a deep moan, shuddering as her body started to jellify again as Butterscotch wrapped his tongue around her button, with a strong part of her inner self keeping them in places to either pleasure her pegasus and get pleasured by her pegasus. Like her chest was floating just in place to be traced and tantalized by his wings, stroking her nipples or her flanks being rubbed by his hooves just right. She was barely, just barely holding back from climaxing at how perfectly he was treating every part of her and she loved the fact that they got to this point where Butterscotch didn’t even flinch at her body floating around in parts anymo-. She gasped as her butt was now being teased by his tail, oh was there anything her precious pegasus couldn't do‽ She felt her body begin to quake, a sign that she either was going to climax or her body was going to reform itself on her and give her one nasty whiplash and more importantly hurt Butte-. “Eris,” he moaned into her, filled with nothing but utter love for her! Welp, that did it. Glory shot in five, four, three, two- “Ughh,” Solaris groaned, holding a newspaper up over his head with Artemis tilting his head at him and the simply terrifying amount of chaos magic building up at an alarming rate. “It should be good from the rain,” he said as he looked at his little brother. With a sigh and a roll of his eyes, Artemis looked at his brother and said, “It doesn’t rain inside, -” but before he finish his retort, the buildup of chaos magic hit its climax and a wave of chaos magic ran out from the epicenter, causing a number of trees to change into shapes that looked very questionable, several clouds to start raining a near endless amount of socks as well a storm inside the room where Artemis and Solaris were in and that Artemis hoped with every fibre of his being was just white chocolate staining his face. Tilting his head when he heard his brother snickering, he saw that Solaris was now dressed in a light blue jacket with glasses on his nose. “Hello Janet,” Solaris held a wing to his face, smirking a very telling smil- Artemis looked down at himself to see he was dressed in a pink dress and let out a very loud annoyed growl. “I hate you, Solaris,” Artemis snarled as he tried to tug his outfit off with little success. Muttering under his breath, he grabbed the a section of the newspaper and held it over his head. “Once I get this off of me, we are going to go investigate the damages and talk to Eris about...” he trailed off, shaking his hoof to think of a proper way to phrase his sentence. “Agreed,” Solaris said, bumping his brother’s flanks. “Although, we might have only one thing to worry about. Only time will tell.” Eris let out a girly giggle as she flew in a perfect backwards circle, her mind still replaying that amazing bout of surprise sex from her usually timid coltfriend. He was curled up on one of her doubles as another her cleaned everything up in a sexy maid’s outfit while another her cooked up some breakfast for them in a sexy apron while another her tended Butter’s animals in a sexy outfit and so on. She had usually put a block on herself from going that hard but she couldn’t remember exactly why she had- “Ow,” she let out a squeak of surprise as she flew into something hard and bopped her nose. Frowning in confusion as she knew this stretch of the forest very well, she looked to see what dared bonk her no- She let out a tiny gasp at what she saw, the reason for her self-block in full view. “Oh no,” she gulped as she looked up, way up at the result of her dysfunction flaring up. Looking over her shoulder to make sure Butterscotch didn’t see it as he would probably be mortified and never speak to her again, she quickly snapped her fingers to make it vanish. It was still there. After snapping her fingers several more times with it still being there, Eris felt her dread double as it began to move on its own on a path that would take it directly into Ponyville! “Ohnononononononono!” she began to fly in nervous circles, almost tying herself in a knot before she caught herself at the last second. She then halted, placed a bearpaw over her chest and took some deep breaths that she totally didn’t copy from watching Magicbutt having a panic attack. “Okay, I need to get some help stat!” With a plan of attack in paw, she teleported herself away to find Magicbutt while leaving a clone of herself to guard the object before teleporting back in and covering it up with a large tarp that had her beautiful mug on it with the caption saying You mad? and Mine, no touchy!!!! scrawled underneath it. Author's Note Try and guess what her dysfunction is! For Prince and Country!Ponyville was to be described as a bastion of chaos, with how much insanity can spew out without any eyebrows being raised. Instead they simply looked out the window to see what kind of chaos it was and if it was due to their draconequus neighbour getting some action from her shy pegasus lover. The fact they thought their relationship was a secret was just adorable. Still, it meant when socks started raining from the sky, they collected the bets they made and brushed off the oddities without blinking an eye. That was why their prince Dusk Shine and Applejack were more surprised to see Rainbow Blitz and Elusive walking side by side with two bags of groceries on the pegasus’s back with the unicorn holding some of his own in his magic. What really caught their eyes was how relaxed and perky both of them were, with Blitz chuckling at some joke Elusive made and bumping flanks. Seeing the athletic stunt-pony so chummy with his fashion orientated friend was very unusual and warranted the alicorn and earth pony to rush over to them. It was Rainbow Blitz who saw them first and waved a wing at them, shouting, “Hi guys, what’s uuureally dude?” he snapped at Elusive who shrugged his shoulders. “Sorry, lost a bit of my focus there, Blitz,” Elusive said with a bit of a blush on his face. “Better?” he asked, fixing the bags on the pegasus’s back. Blitz simply put on a smile on his face, and let out a soft yah. Dusk Shine simply blinked in confusion with Applejack smirking up a storm. Looking at the pegasus and at the unicorn, and his smirk deepened. “Imma guess ya’ll got some with each other?” Both Blitz and Elusive’s faces grew beet red with Dusk tilting his head. “Got some what?” he asked, causing his friends to look at him. Applejack pawed the ground before finding his voice, “Ya know, they had a roll in the hay?” “Elusive rolled in hay?” Dusk asked, turning to face his flabbergasted unicorn friend. Blitz facehoofed with a very loud sigh mixed in a groan. “I keep saying guys, we really need to get him laid.” “Laid what Blitz, that sentence makes no sense,” Dusk said with a bit of a huff; feeling that Blitz was making fun of him again for being a bit naive. Blitz looked at him and then at Elusive with a sigh. “Sorry man, that just killed it for me,” he said with downcast eyes. “It’s alright, Blitzy, that line was a true moment killer,” Elusive said with a sad sigh. “Will somepony tell me what’s going on?” Dusk asked in a loud voice, starting to attract attention from other ponies passing by. “These two varmints here fooled around,” Applejack said, hoping that his friend would get the message. “What-” “Oh for Solaris’s sake ya thick headed dolt!” Applejack smacked the prince across the head with his hat. “They.” Smack. “Had.” Smack. “Sex.” Smack, smack, smack and smack. “Oh,” Dusk said as he finally understood what his friends were saying before looking at the two. “You two are dating?!” “What no!” Blitz shouted with Elusive looking a bit put off at his declaration. “We’re just friends with benefits right now.” “Friends with ben-” “It means they buck with no-” “I know what it means, Applejack,” Dusk hissed, his face red with embarrassment at how dense he had been. “I’m just making sure, partner,” Applejack grinned. “Ya’ll ain't the sharpest tool in the shed when it comes to this kind of stuff.” “I am not that bad,” Dusk grumbled, stomping his hoof. “I-” “Thereyouare!” Eris appeared. Picking up Dusk Shine and holding him to her chest, she continued to ramble, “Ineedyourstupidmagicknowledgehelpnow!” before vanishing. Applejack shared a concerned look with Blitz and Elusive before letting out a sigh. “Ah guess Ah should go check that out but first; what was your little bet?” Blitz’s face got even redder with him beginning to stammer he knew nothing about what Applejack was talking about but Elusive let out a sigh and a pulse from his horn causing the pegasus to squirm for a second. “Blitz here said that he can hold back no matter what I do; if I win, we get to spend an entire day at the spa with Blitz getting a full package deal.” “And when I win, he has to come with me at the next concert,” Blitz said, jetting his head out with a cocky grin on his face. Elusive simply raised an eyebrow at that and flared his horn again, causing Blitz to meep and his wings to fluff out. “El, not my ploOh hey Prince Solaris, Prince Artemis what can we do fo-are you on fire?” Everypony looked at Artemis who was indeed had a sliver of fire on his flank. Artemis blinked before his entire body was engulfed in flames before sputtering out. “There, better,” the alicorn of the night said with a glare towards his older brother who had a smirk on his face. “Did you just set yourself on fire, Prince Artemis?” Elusive asked carefully. “To quote my brother, ‘there is nothing you cannot solve with enough amount of fire,’” Artemis said with an air of annoyance. “Have any of you seen Er-” “Does that include the mess in your bedroom, Arty?” Solaris asked, causing Artemis to send a burst of fire at the white alicorn’s face. “As I was saying, have any of you seen Eris?” Artemis asked with clenched teeth as Solaris just laughed and patted his brother on the head. “Eeeyup, she was just here before she took Dusk ‘cause she needs some help,” Applejack said with Solaris frowning and stroking his beard. “So it has happened again,” he muttered to himself before looking at Artemis.”Come, we don’t have much time to waste.” He then teleported himself, his brother and the earth pony away, leaving Blitz and Elusive alone. They shared a look with each other before Blitz asked, “Should we go?” “No, no, I am sure whatever Eris needs help with can be solved by three alicorns and at very least if the Elements are needed, they know where to find us and I am sure they will knock first.” He then leaned and whispered into Blitz’s ear. “Besides, we don’t want the ice cream to go to waste, now we do?” Blitz smirked, wagging his tail. “Well, let’s get gooaooa,” Blitz moaned, stamping his hooves before shaking his head and wiggling his eyebrows at a pouting Elusive. “Is that the best you got?” Elusive simply raised an eyebrow and grinned viciously at the pegasus. Rainbow Blitz gulped, realizing he’d bitten off a bit more than he could chew and hoped that Mayor Mustang wouldn’t have them arrested for public indecency. Dusk let out a sigh, rubbing his face as he tried to think of another way to approach this matter as Eris was being even more problematic and difficult than usual. He was so fed up about this entire situation of her refusing to tell him what was under the tarp that he barely reacted when his former teacher, his brother and friend teleported in. “Good, you’re here,” Dusk muttered, looking at the trio walking towards whatever was under the tarp with Eris floating around nervously. “Maybe you can help her out.“ Solaris simply looked at it and went ah and gave Eris a knowing smile. “So it has happened to you again, Eris?” Solaris asked, while receiving a crude gesture in return from her. “What is going on Eris,” Artemis asked, stalking close to the tarp’s object. “What is under here?” “Arty, I wouldn’t do that,” Solaris said while Eris seemed torn between stopping him and enjoying what was about to come. Artemis simply rolled his eyes, and darted under the tarp. Solaris began to count down from five with Artemis walking out on one. “And once more, Artemis, what did we learn?” Solaris asked with a smirk. “More than I ever wished to know about our friend Butterscotch,” Artemis said with a shake of his entire body. He then glared at the snickering draconequus. “Why did you create that?” “Hey, it’s not like I wanted to create it!” Eris pouted, crossing her arms. “It’s not my fault I’ve got....” she then blushed and muttered something under her breath. Dusk Shine blinked in confusion before shaking his head. “Enough is enough, Eris, if you want my help, I need to know what I am trying to hide for you!” Before anypony could stop him, he tossed the tarp off the object with everypony freezing on the spot. It was finally Applejack who broke the silence by stating the obvious, “So that’s what Butterscotch's dick looks like on a giant statue.” “Actually, it’s all proportional,” Eris said with a grin as she looked at the massive golden statue of a fully stimulated Butterscotch. That caused Solaris, Applejack and Artemis’s eyes to widen, with the farmer giving a whistle of surprise. “Tarnations, if any of the mares back in Ponyville knew he was hung like an Arabian horse, Ah’d reckon he’d have to beat ‘hem off with a stick,” Applejack said, finally able to tear his eyes away and look over at Dusk. “Hung like an Arabian means-” “I know what it means, Applejack,” Dusk mumbled under his breath, taking his eyes away from the statue. “And besides, Butters doesn’t need a stick, he’s got me,” Eris said with a wide grin, pointing her thumbs at herself. “And further to the point, he has a powerful stick all of his own,” Solaris said as he began to circle around the statue. “That means-” “I am aware of what that means, Applejack.” “You have yet to explain why you have created this… this,” Artemis waved a hoof at the statue, eyes locked onto the ground. “She didn’t create it on purpose, brother,” Solaris said as he tapped Butterscotch’s leg. “She has this… dysfunction.” “Solaris, I swear if you say anything,” Eris began, her face growing red. “What was it,” Solaris said, tapping his chin. “Oh yes, you have erect-idol dysfunction!” Everypony simply stared at Solaris except for Eris who was fuming mad with smoke coming out of her ears. “You are not joking, are you brother, are you?” Artemis sighed heavily into his hoof. “By the way Dusk, erect-idol sounds-” “I know what it sounds like, AJ,” Dusk growled. “Hey, it’s not my fault when I have good lay I sometimes create massive golden statues!” Eris shouted, stabbing a finger into Solaris’s chest. “That is debatable Eris, but the question is why do you need help hid-why is it moving?” Artemis asked, noticing the statue had moved ever so slightly. “Part of her dysfunction causes the statue to move to a highly dense location to be seen by all,” Solaris said looking at the other stallions. “We have some time to figure out how to deal with this statue before everypony in Ponyville sees Butterscotch’s johnson.” “That means,” “I am aware of what the term means, Applejack,” Dusk said through gritted teeth, his face still red. “Ah’m just making sure partner,” Applejack said with a grin. Dusk Shine just growled at his friend. “I mean, if ponies see his massive wang, Butters will never leave his cottage, and worse, he might kick me out!” Eris shouted, ignoring Applejack and Dusk’s back and forth. “Wang means-” “I KNOW WHAT IT MEANS AND I KNOW WE ARE TALKING ABOUT BUTTERSCOTCH’S ENORMOUS PENIS!” Dusk shouted in the Royal Canterlot Voice, startling everypony, including Dusk Shine especially when he heard his voice echo through the forest. With a blush across his entire body as BUTTERSCOTCH’S ENORMOUS PENISwas echoed again in perfect clarity and volume, he meekly looked at a frowning Solaris. “Really, Dusk, what that truly called for?” Solaris asked, shaking his head. “Especially not with your lung capacity!” an Eris grumbled as she teleported in. “As you had to shout it here, I think it will be stuck forever in the Everfree forest!” “And I think it’s traveling towards Manehattan,” another Eris said, holding a squirming bag of something. “At least, that’s what I think I caught.” “I swear I didn’t BUTTERSCOTCH’S ENORMOUS PENIS -” Dusk meeped as his echo returned. With a loud tsk, Solaris looked at an equally unamused Artemis. “It seems we need to do more than one task in Canterlot; Eris can you monitor the statue with one of your duplicates?” With a nod of her head, Solaris teleported them away and into his royal chambers. “Now before we begin dealing with Eris’s love statue, there is the matter of you, my former student,” Solaris said with a frown. Turning to face the doorway that had a pegasus guard staring in, he nodded his head towards her. “Guard, I need you to go to your superiors and my lead advisors. I need a committee put forth to find the perfect mare or stallion that can provide sexual pleasure and knowledge to Prince Dusk Shine. Do you understand me?” he asked the still orange coated mare with a blue mane and wide eyes. She stood still for all of five seconds, with her and Dusk Shine’s eyes wide with shock and ears beet red before she snapped to attention with a wing to her forehead. “Sire, I volunteer myself for this mission!” “Hmm,” Solaris said tapping his chin while turning his head to suppress his grin. He turned to look at Dusk Shine, asking him, “Is this okay with yo-” “YES!” he squeaked out, his voice cracking, having Eris and the stallions in the room snicker at the moment. “I mean, yes, Flare Warden.” “Good, my prince,” she said, walking straight to the alicorn. “If you will follow me, we will go to…” she trailed off as she didn’t have a location to proper classroom for the alicorn to learn in. “You can use his old bedroom, Flare Warden. Do bring him back once you two are finished,” Solaris said as the two began to rub against each other, with the mare practically leading the stallion out of the room before Solaris teleported away. “Now that that is taken care of, let us deal with the other matter at hoof, Eris,” he drawled out, causing the female to blink and place her arms on her hips. “What was that tone for, Solaris?” she asked, flicking her tail. “Because I know you are going to try and record what Dusk and Flare are doing,” Solaris said with Eris huffing and muttering killjoy. “And while I do not think we can stop the statue nor will you permit us to destroy the statue, there is only one option left to us.” “What, what is it?” Eris asked with a nervous tone in her voice. “You must talk to Butterscotch and tell him what happened,” he said with Eris pulling back in surprise. “But-but,” Eris stuttered, looking terrified. “Butters will be-” “Shocked, embarrassed, humiliated and maybe even mad at you,” Solaris said, trotting near her. “Opposed to being furious with you that you hid something like that from him.” He then placed a hoof on her shoulder and tilted her head upwards with his wing. “It will be painful, but if you truly care for Butterscotch, you will do what is right, not what is easy.” Eris stood still for a moment before letting out a tiny sigh before giving Solaris a nod. “As much as I hate admitting you’re right, you’re right.” Eris then rubbed her arms, before shaking her head. “Time to go break the news to Butters.” She then snapped her fingers and vanished. “You sure that is the best option, Solaris?” Artemis asked, raising an eyebrow at his brother. “It’s the start of the best option we have, Arty,” Solaris said, nodding his head as a servant brought forth a cup of tea. “What we need to do is wait for the makeup sex and then we need somepony who is very adept at manipulation of beings when they are in a fugal state of mind to influence her to destroy the statue…” He then gave his brother a very wide grin. “Oh no,” Artemis said, shaking his head, backing up with his eyes wide in terror. “No no no no no no I refuse to-” “You should brace yourself Artemis,” Solaris said, taking a sip of his tea with Artemis only aware of the serious build up of magic. Before he could formulate his next thoughts, a vast wave of magic surged through the castle and down into the city. Artemis was left leaning forwards with his wings trying desperately to stabilize himself while other ponies were thrown forwards. Prince Solaris simply stood there, drinking from his cup of tea without so much as batting an eye. The only other pony to show no reaction was a mare that simply put down her book and mused that it finally happened. She gathered her books of history and then teleported herself to Ponyville for a very important conversation with one Dusk Shine, one that she would not be denied. Meanwhile back in the royal chambers of Solaris, the inhabitant finally stopped his laughter at his brother faceplanting into his desk and getting ink all over his face, drawing himself into a serious-like manner with only a few snickers escaping his lips. Artemis simply glowered at him, taking a rag to clean his face when the doors opened up to show a low-flying Flare Warden who had a very pleased look on her face and staggering Dusk Shine who had a goofy grin plastered across his face. “And, my dear little pony, how did you mission go?” Solaris asked, tilting his head. “If I were to die now, I would die a very happy mare,” Flare Warden muttered with a happy sigh. “‘Here lies Flare Warden, faithful guard of the Princes, she who made Prince Dusk Shine a stallion.’” she said with a giggle, looking at Dusk who simply made an awkward sound that sounded like an agreement. “Well, I do know that Dusk has been lax in setting up his guards, perhaps with some more training you could lead it,” Solaris said with the mare’s eyes widening in surprise and Dusk making more happy noises. “But that can wait as Artemis need to deal with Eris-” “No, I said I refuse,” Artemis jabbed a hoof into his brother’s chest. “I refuse to be part of this insanity that is your plan, brother! I mean, I should be in my bed asleep right now! In fact,” Artemis raised a hoof before his horn glowed brightly. Artemis then fell to the ground fast asleep and snoring peacefully. Solaris stared at his brother in surprise, his plans clearly derailed. “Artemis, wake up,” he said as he shook his brother, who was getting even louder in his snores. This wasn’t good as he needed Artemis to influence Eris to get rid of that blasted statue while she was distracted and he couldn’t go as one of them needed to make sure the sun or moon wouldn’t react horribly to an alicorn like him or his brother climaxing. Almost a thousand years of celibacy after that romp when Artemis was banished resulted in him nearly melting the icecaps meant that he would have very little control over his sun if he had sex with Eris and Butterscotch without Artemis to spot him. He needed somepon- “Flare Warden, I have another mission for you, if you choose to accept it,” Solaris addressed the bare orange mare who was whispering things to Dusk. “We have a crisis, of sorts, that my dear brother has decided to refuse to handle and I am incapable of handling with him asleep.” “What do you need me to do, sir?” she asked, landing and performing a proper salute, with all traces of her previous bliss gone. That was good, showing she could be professional if the situation required it and wouldn’t be a hinderance in the future. “Eris has this condition when she has intense intercourse, she creates a massive golden statue of her partner that moves itself to the nearest public place with a high population density. The statue cannot be destroyed and for the pony in question, this could be a potentially life-scarring event. I also know that Eris is also very susceptible during such times and could very easily be tricked into destroying said statue. I would have Prince Artemis handle such matters due to his expertise with the fluid state of dreams being near identical to the chaos that comes to hoof when Eris reaches her climax but he is out of commision.” He paused to jab a hoof into his brother’s gut which only gained him a snore in return. “The only other pony I can think of that would be qualified is my nephew Prince Bolero, but he is in the Crystal Empire with his wife and would take far too long for him to come in and aid us. What I am asking you, my little pony, is to wait until Eris has neared her climax and then put yourself in a position where you can influence her to remove the statue.” Flare Warden took all this in before nodding her head. ”I will do this mission, for both my Princes and my country, sir,” she with a near perfect salute before briefly looking at Dusk Shine. “I-” “Will have your papers and belongings transferred over to Ponyville as that is your destination,” Solaris said sharply, regaining her attention. She wasn’t perfect, not yet, but he could see her becoming a very powerful guard with enough proper training that would do her best to protect Dusk Shine. Solaris’s ear twitched, feeling the stir of chaos magic in the aether, a sign Eris was beginning to get close. “Are you sure you wish to perform this mission?” “I am sir,” she said, staring him down as best as she could. “Very well,” Solaris replied, giving her nod back. “Are you ready, Flare Warden?” “In a moment, sir,” she said before turning to face Dusk. “We’ll talk back in your place, right?” Dusk simply nodded his head rapidly before breaking out in a wide smile that should have caused any sensible mare to take a few steps back, flee and never return. Those in love simply saw it as adorable and blushed from seeing it. She then turned to face Solaris. With a nod of her head to tell him he was ready, the alicorn teleported her to Butterscotch’s cottage to trick the goddess of chaos while she was having sex. Solaris then turned to face Dusk Shine, with a soft smile on his face. “And how was your first time, Dusk?” Dusk Shine blinked before shaking his head slowly. He then looked up at Solaris and said, “If you ever have an antisocial student like me in the future, try setting them up with somepony. I think you’ll get a lot more results far quicker.” Laughing loudly, Solaris shook his head, “And what if my possible future student is as dense as you were and missed all the attempts I had lined up for you to take?” Dusk Shine blushed, pawing the ground. “But you do know that a relationship is not all fun and games, that if you plan to have a serious relationship with Flare Warden or any other pony, you need to act serious and responsible.” “I know, Solaris,” Dusk Shine began to brush him off and while he knew his former student wouldn’t intentionally mishandle a relationship, Solaris would not let his former student get off that easily. “I know that Dusk, and I do believe you,” Solaris said as he stepped over his brother.”I mean, that is why you used protection when you and Flare Warden had sex, to be both serious and responsible, right?” Dusk Shine freezing on the spot was not the answer he was looking forward to. “Right?” he asked again, with Dusk’s eyes darting back and forth before squeaking and teleporting away. Solaris blinked at that tidbit of information and wondered how much his actions to get his former student laid would bite him in the flanks later on. He then cast his eyes on Artemis and narrowed his gaze. “Now what to do with you, brother,” he tapped his chin before sporting a grin on his face and teleporting himself and his brother out of the room. Applejack turned his head back and forth in the empty room and let out a sigh of annoyance. “Sure, take me all the way to Canterlot and don’t even give me a way back home,” he muttered as he began to trot to the doors. “Gramps is going to kill me for being away from the farm all day.” It was at that moment that the second surge of chaos magic raced the lands, and a beam of chaos magic turned the floor that Applejack had his hoof on into poison joke. Jumping backwards, Applejack turned to face the mirror to see what changes had occurred- “Ah consarn it!” Applejack swore as she stomped her way out of the royal chambers, face red with embarrassment as well as hoping Blitz wouldn’t see her like this as he would never let it go, slamming the doors shut behind her. This is why we close our blinds!It was later in the day when Flare Warden trotted into Ponyville with her head downcast. She had bungled her mission a fair degree. On one hoof, she had managed to achieve the mission’s goals perfectly; the statue no longer being one of Butterscotch who truly lived up to the massive idol that bared his staff. While on the other hoof, she hadn’t caused Eris to destroy the statue and she just hoped that Dusk Shine wouldn't be too embarrassed and that either he or Prince Solaris could get rid of that bucking gold statue. She stood in front of the doors to Dusk Shine’s castle and knocked on them, calling out “Dusk Shine?” “Flare Warden?” he called out from a nearby room. “I know we said we’d talk about us after we had that quickie in your old room, but there is something I need to tell you,” she said as she walked into the castle, following his voice. “Flare, I-” “No, it’s very important,” Flare cut him off, needing to tell him that the statue was now of him and almost in the centre of the town now. “I-” She froze as she walked into the small sitting from with Dusk Shine looking terrified with an older looking mare sitting right next to him, drinking some tea. “Hello dear, I am Dusk Velour and you must be the special little mare that took my little Dusky Wusky’s virginity,” she chirped happily as Dusk let out a tiny groan. She placed her teacup onto the table which had a book labeled baby photos and looked at her again. “Please, sit, we have so much to talk about.” Flare Warden decided that she would rather deal with Eris again then do this. She looked behind her, only for the older mare to say, “The doors and windows are all locked.” Welp, she’d slept with an alicorn and a draconequus today, she was good to die. With that, she went to deal with the most terrifying creature of her entire life with Dusk looking absolutely scared. Artemis let out a tired yawn as he woke up, shaking his head. It was not often he cast a spell that knocked himself out, but it was the only way to escape his brother’s inane plotting. What was he thinking, having him go sleep with Eris and Butter- He was not in his bedroom or anywhere he knew and he was resting on a metallic object. Looking forwards, he saw a note in his brother’s hoof writing. Dear Arty, you never asked how I knew all those details about Eris. Love, Solaris. Artemis’s coat stood up as he read the note, and saw that it was attached to a gold surface. With his blood running cold, he tilted his head upwards and saw the profile of his brother’s face. Looking behind himself with his entire body trembling, Artemis saw what he feared to see and simply screamed. It was late in the night when Blitz and Elusive heard somepony knocking on the tailor's window. Turning their heads to face the window, the unicorn opened his window and let the Lunar guard land in front of the bed both he and his pegasus friend were on. “Can we help y-” “Are you Rainbow Blitz and Elusive Belle?” she asked sharply, the bat pony glaring at both of them. “Er, yeah, why?” Blitz asked, tilting his head at his friend for any help. “Due to some backtracking, it was determined that entire set of events today was caused by you two not closing your blinds when having sex that resulted in Prince Artemis tearing Prince Solaris’s giant dick off, chasing him through the public parts of the palace with said giant dick and hitting Solaris in the head with it.” Both Blitz and Elusive winced, with the former wide eyed and the later opening and closing his mouth. “Um,” the unicorn said, tapping his bed. “Care to repeat that as I am fairly certain what I heard could not be accurate.” “Please don't make me say it again, seeing it was bad enough,” she groaned, rolling her eyes at how foolish her prince acted in front of the diplomatic visitors. “So… what are you two planning to do tonight as I have been assigned to make sure what happened today does not repeat itself.” “Nothing really,” Blitz said, shrugging his shoulders. “Just going to teach Elusive here how to preen my wings.” She paused at this, weighing her options carefully. And decide that if Flare Warden could get away with sleeping with Prince Dusk Shine, she could try and get away with indulging on her fetish. “Hmmm,” she said as she removed her helmet and stared as Blitz opened his long, elegant feathery wing out to the unicorn. “I best keep an eye on this and make sure nothing… unsavory happens.” Both Blitz and Elusive shared a look and then shrugged their shoulders. What was the worst that could happen? It was morning when Elusive finally woke up, with two hooves holding him close to another pony’s barrel. Tilting his head up, he saw his friend Blitz began to stir and let out the most adorable yawn ever. “Hey,” he said to the pegasus. “Hey,” the pegasus replied softly as he went to nuzzle Elusive head with his chin. “Last night was…” “Awesomerifically amazing?” Elusive offered. “Yah, that,” Blitz said in a distracted voice. “So glad we did this.” “Me too,” Elusive replied, eyes closing as sleep began to reclaim him. “Hey El,” Blitz said, causing the unicorn to stir. “Yah Blitz?” “I think we forgot to close the blinds last night.” Elusive opened an eye and tilted his head to see indeed that not only were his blinds wide open but the windows were open too. Which meant all his neighbours and friends no doubt heard them last night. Pulling the bat mare closer to him, he muttered, “Oh buck me.” “Well, since you asked El,” was his only warning he got before Blitz pounced, with the blinds to his window open to the world. The End.
Chapter One: Washing the Rainbow!Chapter One It began like any other day in Ponyville, which was quiet and low-key but all ponies knew that it would change shortly and something odd would happen. Little did they know it would not be due to the massive splash of mud, but a unicorn forgetting to close their blinds… Elusive let out a smile as he did a few final touches on his breakfast, spreading out the sour cream on his bagel when he heard rapid banging on his back door. Frowning, the unicorn took the plate with him, holding it carefully in his magic as he trotted to the door and opened to see a mud-plastered blue pegasus looking at him. “Hey Elusive, can I use your shower?” his friend Rainbow Blitz asked him, tilting his head in a way that splashed mud over his clean kitchen! Elusive simply looked at the pegasus before his mind settled on the most pressing issue at the moment. “Why don’t you use your own shower, Blitz?” Elusive asked sharply, standing still as to not let Blitz think he could walk into his house and track mud everywhere. “‘Cause I’ve had some issues with the clouds that go to my water collection basins that I’m getting an expert to come in and check later this week,” Blitz then sighed and flicked his wings out, getting mud all over his clean walls! “Besides, this damn mud is really thick and I can’t even fly right now.” “Wait, really?” Elusive blinked, noticing how agitated Blitz was looking right now, fidgeting on the spot. “Yah,” Blitz held out a mud crusted wing in front of him, visibly struggling to keep it straight. “I can’t get into the air or lift anything, and it’s really starting to get to me so I can please get wet in your house?” Elusive’s ear twitched at the phrasing but he relented and allowed his friend inside, tracking muddy hoofprints everywhere. Making sure he wasn’t grinding his teeth as mud splattered onto his table, he directed Blitz up the stairs with his tail slapping mud on his walls with a swish swish that was oddly hypnotic in a way. He had never got a chance to see his friend from this angle before as he preferred to fly everywhere and Elusive never noticed how compact his athletic friend was; a tight well muscled body in such a light frame, with his jagged mane drawing the eye from his crown to his highly tonned plot. “So what happened Blitz?” Elusive asked as he tried to steer his mind away from those thoughts. “Promise not to tell anypony?” Blitz asked, a faint blush visible behind the mud on his cheeks. Elusive nodded his head with Blitz pausing on the steps. “I was having a really good dream, and I kinda rolled off the cloud I was napping on.” With Blitz shuffling on his hooves, Elusive knew that there was more. “What kind of dream?” Elusive asked his friend with a smirk as he saw Blitz’s ears fold backwards. “Who was in it this time?” “...Glide and Firestorm,” Blitz muttered under his breath, walking up the rest of the steps and making a beeline for his bathroom. “Really now, both of your bosses?” Elusive chuckled, placing his breakfast on a vase stand. “With you and captain Firestorm having your way with Glide?” Blitz froze with a hoof reaching to the doorknob, his ears upright and beet red. He bit his lip before saying in a hushed voice, “Actually, they’re were both doing me…” Elusive blinked before raising a hoof. “But Glide is a mare…” “She had a strap-on, okay?” Blitz all but shouted, face flushed. “Also another reason I couldn’t fly back up home as flying around with wood would not go well.” “Personal experience, I suppose?” Elusive teased his friend as he opened the door, moving his blue well toned plot pass the doorframe. “Yeah,” Blitz called out from the bathroom. “So lucky my dad was chief that I didn’t get in more trouble...still a very awkward chat at home.” Elusive had to bite his lip as not to burst out in laughter, shaking his head at his friend. He stood by the doorway, lifting the bagel to his lips when Blitz called out again. “Uhh, El, how the hell do I work your shower?” WIth a sigh, Elusive put his breakfast down again and walked into the bathroom to see the pegasus struggling to use his unicorn tap shower. Facehoofing, he lit up his horn and turned on the cold water first… With a yelp, Blitz danced around in the tub before shooting Elusive a dirty look. Elusive simply smiled more and turned on the hot water. “That good?”he asked as he fiddled with the temperature, with the pegasus nodding his head. “Thanks again,” Blitz said as he reached for the bar of soap, only for it to prove too slippery to keep a hoof on, the pegasus swearing as it landed in front of him. Blitz then bent down for the bar of soap with his plot in the air, tail swishing back and forth. Elusive let out a sigh, knowing exactly what he had to do now. Rainbow Blitz was doing his utmost not to rub his stallionhood right now, with that hot dream still running his head, the water stimulating his body, everything that was happening almost identical to his fantastic dream and Elusive just climbed into the shower WHY DID ELUSIVE CLIMB INTO THE SHOWER‽ “Uhhh,” Blitz asked, realizing he couldn’t turn his body around and turned his head to stare at the unicorn who was very close to his hindquarters. “El?” “You’re having issues with the soap,” Elusive said, running the bar of soap along his body. “I can help you out here and,” he paused with a bottle flying past his right side. “I do have special shampoo that gets out gunk like mud and tree sap due to the Cutie Mark Cavaliers’ adventures.” “That makes sense,” Blitz admitted, slowly turning his head forward as his friend sprayed him down with the white gunk and thanked all the time he spent fooling around in Summer Flight Camp had taught him how to hide his body from showing how much he was getting turned on right now. He had to stop himself from thinking of all the time he and Guilder had done it as this was so...exactly... the same way they stated their foreplay because he didn’t want Elusive to think he was making a move on him. Oh by Solaris’s nutsack, was Elusive making a move on him‽ No, he couldn’t be making a mo-OH BY SOLARIS HOLY DICK WHY WAS ELUSIVE MOVING CLOSER‽ “El?” Blitz asked as he felt Elusive’s chest brush against his tail. “I’m just getting closer so I can get your face, Blitz,” he said as he started to getontoHISBACKOHFAUSTABOVEELUSIVEWASONHIM! Elusive wasn’t quite sure how he wound up in this situation, washing his friend’s entire, well-toned, muscular, handsome, alluring, powerful frame but he was sure that Blitz was on the same mental level by all the squirming and shuddering he was doing. Still, the ball was still in his court so he decide to push the advantage. Walking forwards, he saw Blitz tense up immediately, with the multichromatic tail smacking him in the chest. “El?” he whimpered, still looking forwards and his cheeks blazing red hot. “I’m just getting closer so I can get your face Blitz,” Elusive said as he began to mount his friend, rubbing the soap and shampoo under his wings as he got close to Blitz’s face. It was now or never, if he wanted this to happen. In five. Okay, he could do this! He was Rainbow McDanger Blitz, he had been through this song and dance before and he could do it again! Elusive might even be a fun bang buddy! He knew Elusive’s head was near his left wing so a few seconds, he would surprise his friend by planting a kiss on his lips in five. Four. Three. Two. One. Now! Blitz turned his head to show what a pegasus could with his mouth...only for Elusive to lift his head to kiss his friend’s clean neck. Which meant both of them had a rather hard meeting of their heads. Elusive stumbled backwards, kicking Blitz’s leg out from under the pegasus which caused the pegasus to land on top of him, muzzle to muzzle. Elusive looked up at the gleaming blue pegasus, his rainbow mane a mixture of colours running down his face. Blitz looked down at the still white unicorn, his purple mane flaring out on the tub floor. The two of them looked each other in the eyes, azure meeting cerise. There was a moment of utter silence beyond the patter of the shower head running water down Blitz’s down. He then lunged in sync with Elusive, lips meeting each other and a whole new world was discovered. Elusive was in paradise and it tasted like strawberries. He thought Blitz would just force his way into his mouth but no, his friend was an elegant dancer, his tongue so gentle and maneuverable it made his mind race for reason as he tried to deal with the pure sensation of bliss as the pegasus firmly but gently rubbed his body down with his hooves. Already, it was pouring blood towards his stallionhood and they only started kissing! Elusive was no slouch in the tongue department, certainly no pegasus or griffon but buck him he was good! Although he had yet to feel Elusive rub him, after all the attention he was giving to his unicorn fr-THERE IT WAS! His eyes rolled into the back of his head as he felt Elusive’s magic cover his entire body and began to send him to heaven! Everything became sharper; he could feel all the drops of water running down his body, he could feel Elusive’s magic focus on his plot, he could smell the musk that was beginning to grow, he could hear Silver open the door downstairs and call out for Elusive, he could feel Elusive’s diiiiWAITWAITWAITWAIT “WAIT!” he shouted, pushing off of a very confused looking Elusive. “Crapcrapcrapcrapcrapcrapyourbrotherishere!” Elusive’s eyes became pinpricks, scrambling to get to his hooves as Blitz grabbed a towel and wrapped it around himself, covering up his erection to little success. “Elusive?” Silver called out as the colt came up the staircase and the stallions had a moment of panic as they realized the door was still open. “Hi there,” Elusive said, panting as he sat beside Blitz and putting on a big smile as to not worry his brother. “What are you doing home so early?” Silver gave them an odd look as he pulled out a book from his saddlebag. “I forgot this on the table this morning,” he said slowly, looking at the both of them. “What’s going on?” “Well,” Blitz stammered, wondering how much was too much for a colt his age to hear. Probably everything. “Umm.” “Blitz here needed to use our shower,” Elusive said, tapping his shoulder as their tails wrapped around each other. “Why, what’s wrong with his?” “His hot piping isn’t working,” Elusive said with an internal wince that even Blitz could hear. “And he fell into some mud so he needed to wash his cuteeeie mark and body.” “Okaaaay,” Silver said slowly, looking at his brother now. “Why are you so wet?” “Uhhhhh,” Elusive trailed off, stammering and looking at him for help. “I couldn’t use your shower so Elusive helped turn me on...the water,” Blitz rambled out, feeling his ears heat up. “And then I got him wet by splashing him with the water from the shower.” “Yeah, that’s it!” Elusive nodded his head before grinning widely at his brother. “Nothing else happened!” Silver Bell looked at them before shrugging and walking down the stairs. Both Blitz and Elusive waited until they heard the door close before letting out a sigh of relief and starting to laugh at the whole situation. “So that happened,” Blitz said with his tail twitching; his stallionhood receding into him. “Indeed it did,” Elusive let out a content sigh. “Never thought you would be so good with your mouth.” “Eh, you have to be good with your mouth if you got feathers,” Blitz grinned to himself, running his tongue over his teeth. “Then again, I am Rainbow McDanger Blitz so of course I’m go-” He was cut off when Elusive bopped his nose with his breakfast, getting some white stuff on his face. With a coy laugh, Elusive then leaned closely and licked his white cream off of him with his tongue. It was still not a pegasus’s tongue but damn did it cause him to get hard again in a instant. With a blush racing across his cheeks as Elusive pulled back while licking his lips and looked him into the eyes. Blitz could feel his heart thundering in his head as he began to lean towards the unicorn with his eyes closed and lips primed for another fantas- “GAH!” he shouted as something very cold just clomped over his dick, causing him to flare out his wings. Opening his eyes, he could see Elusive’s bagel fly out from between his legs with the unicorn grinning at him. He quickly put two and two together and glared at him. “What the buck man, why did you doooooooooh,” Blitz’s entire face flushed as he figured out what two and two really equaled out into and couldn’t help himself from wiggling in anticipation as Elusive guided him to his bedroom with his cock covered in Elusive’s white stuff twitching to be cleaned as well as filling with his own white stuff. As soon as he placed a hoof into Elusive’s bedroom, he felt himself yanked forwards onto Elusive’s bed with the unicorn launching an assault on his lips. Blitz kissed back, trying to get his tongue into his friend’s mouth but the unicorn wasn’t opening his doors to him. With a squeak as Elusive pushed him backwards on the bed, the unicorn began to hold him down with his magic. “You interrupted my breakfast, Blitz,” Elusive said in a husky growl, his eyes running down from his face to his stallionhood standing tall and proud. “So I think I will have my fill.” With that as his only warning, Elusive leaned down and traced his tongue up his shaft. Blitz yelped in surprise at how fast Elusive was going with this as well as his fetish being used but it was far too quick for Blitz to just give up control. Elusive had to work for it dammit! Leaning upwards, he opened his mouth as Elusive ran his tongue over his dick again. “H-hey now,” he stammered as a wave of bliss ran through him. “I-” He was forced back down with Elusive’s magic pinning him down stronger now with his hind legs forced open and his forelegs to the corners of the bed. He couldn’t help himself now, a moan escaping his lips with all of his legs pinned down and being unable to move! He could feel his wings expanded out from his sides as Elusive stopped licking his stallionhood and gave him a perverted smirk. “My, does somepony like being held down, unable to move a single limb, at the mercy of another?” he purred out, his magic starting to put pressure onto his wings now, his mind going crazy at the slow build up Elusive was teasing him with. But..he couldn’t tell Elusive that so soon; he’d never get a chance to have Elusive’s dick if he tied him up like the naughty colt he was all the time! “Mayybe,” he whimpered as Elusive licked his tip now as well as put pressure onto his wing joints that made them feel like lead! Oh by Solaris’s beard, he was already getting close and they just started! Note to self, hook up with more unicorns in the future because magic was awesometastic! Elusive simply smirked at him before lowering his head back down to his throbbing stallionhood and began to trace his tongue along the tip. Oh nononononono, he wasn’t going to go out this easily or this quickly! He was Rainbow McDanger Blitz and if he could take a griffon, he could deal with a unicorn! Leaning as far as he could, he reached out with his tongue and encircled the tip of Elusive’s glowing horn with a light lick, causing the unicorn to shudder. So there was some merit to the junk about unicorn’s horns being sensitive . Pouncing on the opening, he continue to lick the horn with Elusive leaning closer to him before he stopped teasing his pecker and forced his tongue into his mouth. Blitz was now in his element, running his tongue all over Elusive’s and causing the unicorn to moan into his mouth. He was sure he would have gotten Elusive to cum if he didn’t need to breathe, but as both of them pulled back panting, it seemed Elusive had another idea in his head as he straddled him, with Elusive’s cock just out of sight but hard on his barrel. “By Solaris, I love your tongue Blitz,” Elusive growled, running a hoof down the pegasus’s side with the pegasus shuddering in delight. “Never got that hard by just a simple tongue.” He then leaned down to nip Blitz’s neck. “But I have been a bad host; I didn’t offer you anything to eat.” Before Blitz could say a word, Elusive turned around and presented Blitz his stallionhood. “How about some sauaaaa,” he moaned, as Blitz began to suck him, using his marvelous mouth and tongue on his dick. His tongue lap was a velvet cushion while his mouth pulled his cock in deep without so much as hint of his teeth. He moved with such speed that he normally associated with the pegasus but with such tender care that should have been impossible. Blitz’s mouth redefined what a blowjob could be; mixing the feel of lips in with the speed of jerking off with his magic pumping his dick non-stop. Oh, if only he could take the feel of Blitz’s mouth and make clothes out of it; he would have the best silk and velvet line of suits and dress in all of Equestria, with no seams or any stitches whatsoever. Still, he was determined to find out if the rainbow really tasted like strawberries so he bent down and started to take the erect penis into his mouth, doing his best to push it down his throat. He did not have a great amount of experience in this activity as he had not have that many stallion partners in the past, which was clear at how much Blitz was wincing every time he nicked the pegasus’s penis. Luckily for the both of them, he had magic. With his horn sending out another flicker of magic, he began to grab Blitz’s balls and began to play around with them. He squeezed and rolled them around, tugging ever so slightly and using his magic to vibrate them, everything he knew that usually got one of his partners putty in his hooves. Blitz proved to be made of stronger stuff, moaning heavily now but not ceasing his assault which was putting him close to the edge and if he knew his athletic friend correctly, Blitz would stop his magic if he got Elusive to go off first and for some reason that pushed Elusive to get him to cum first. With his mind a haze of lust and desire, Elusive recalled that his friend had a fetish for bondge and wagered that if he tugged that multichromatic tail, he would cause the pegasus to give him his special sauce. Pulling the tail straight up with a yelp heavy with a loud moan, Elusive was rewarded by Blitz slamming his hips into the unicorn’s muzzle and pushing his dick deep down his throat, shooting his hot salty spunk down his throat with a steady rhythm of cum filling his gut. He let out a content moan, his eyes fluttering as he felt himself in heaven as his friend’s seed filled his mouth, his concentration wavering for a mom- He let a yelp as Blitz suddenly went on the attack, his hooves rubbing his flanks expertly, his hindlegs locking his head in place and sensually and his wings massaging his sides. Oh by Solaris, he HAD to date more pegasi in the future if they could do that with their wings and mouths! Moaning with pleasure, he felt himself slammed past his point of resistance and brought to his climax, his cock exploding his own load into Blitz’s mouth but the pegasus wasn’t finished yet; he continued to pump his dick deeper into his mouth, straighttothehiltinaninstant, with his magical tongue moving around to lightly tap his balls! Elusive let out another loud moan, shouting Blitz’s name aloud as he reached his apex before his body became jelly, dimly licking the throbbing pegasus’s dick that was still spurting out some salty strawberry juices. He lost track of time but finally, Blitz was done pumping into his mouth and licking his dick. He then tapped Elusive’s flanks, trying to push him upwards. Elusive let out a groan, his legs weak as he pulled his cock out of Blitz’s mouth with a solid pop as he reluctantly let go of Blitz’s stallionhood with a wet glup. It showed how inexperienced he was as Blitz’s cock was still glistening with cum while his own stallionhood was clean as a whistle, only a few left over spurts smacking Blitz across the face and chest as his cock left the paradise that was Blitz’s lips. With a content sigh, Blitz rotated himself and went up to nuzzle Elusive’s face, with their peckers rubbing against each other and caused Elusive to shudder with delight. He then let out a small squeak of surprise as Blitz’s gave him a light kiss on the lips, none of the passion from before but still with the same tender care. “That, El,” Blitz panted as pulled the unicorn closer. “Was an awesomtastically great bang.” Elusive rolled his eyes at what Blitz said but couldn’t find it himself to disagree. “It was marvelous, Blitz,” he hummed, running a hoof down Blitz’s side. He then frowned and looked at his friend. “What does this make us?” Blitz stopped nuzzling him and got very serious. “Look Elusive,” he said calmly. “I’m not one for serious relationships or to see myself tied down to one pony for my entire life, but when I do get with somepony, I swear to treat the relationship with all the seriousness it deserves. I won’t see or bang anypony else unless you give me permission but when we’re done, you have to promise not to get jealous over who I am with next. And if things start to go south, we stop immediately. You’re one of my best friends, and I don’t want to do anything that would mess that up. You, Butters, Dusk, AJ and Berry are really important to me and junk and I so don’t want us banging to be the reason we’re no longer friends.” “I understand,” Elusive said, nodding his head. He understood what Blitz said was important to him and he could respect his reasonings. Still… “One question, though.” “Yeah?” Blitz looked at him with a tilt of his head. “Ready for round two?” he asked as he pushed the stallion over onto his back again, using his magic to rub Blitz’s stallionhood back to hardness. “You know it, El.” Blitz grinned, leaned up to kiss him, running his hooves up and down his side as they continued their love making. All the while unaware that a certain yellow pegasus was hovering outside the window, eyes wide open as he continued to watch his two friends go at it again. After a long period of time, he landed on the ground and made his way to his cottage to find his marefriend. To Be Continued
Her dysfunctionEris let out a bored sigh as she floated around Butter’s cottage for the billionth time with her tummy rumbling to be fed. Petting the stomach in her hand, she grumbled at her silly, stubborn coltfriend. Of course he had to go out and get some sugar from one of his friends instead of letting her create some. Why did he have to take her advice now to be assertive? She wanted her pancakes danggit! It was so tempting to just snap up a plate of Butter’s pancakes but there were two problems with that: one, it wouldn’t be as good as Butters making it for her… and he would be unhappy at her. She frowned to herself, wondering when she had gone so soft. She used to be ruling this place until Sunflanks McLargebutt and Moonbutt stopped her by stoning her with those pesky Elements, and once she escaped, she had come this close to beating Harmony when Sunflanks’ lackeys stopped her. She paused, remembering how she first meet Butters; he was so damn nice that none of her usual tricks worked on him. Nothing she said caused him to flip his Element and she had been forced to do things directly. Then when Sun-Solaris, the mental correction a product of being near Butterscotch for so long, had decided that she could be ‘reformed’ and let her out. She had played along for the entire time until she was ready to really escape… and then Butterscotch happened! She couldn’t find it in her heart to hurt him and she put a halt to all her plans! That whole mess with Lady Tirek really made things more obvious that Butterscotch not only got under her skin but set up a freaking a timeshare in her heart! So yeah, she was in love with the pegasus that made her soft. … Didn’t hurt that he loved her back and did his best to make her happy. And it was a massive plus in his favour due to what he could do with his tong- The door slammed open behind her, and taking another page from Butterscotch’s book, she squeaked in surprise. Tossing the most lethal thing she had available, she watched her coltfriend duck the tiny white bunny rabbit flipping her off and plow straight into her with a savage kiss directed at her lips. She was sent into the coffee table, breaking it apart, while she was running her paw and talon rubbing up and down his sides. On one paw, she was surprised as all hell but on the talon- She squeaked in pleasure as Butterscotch destroyed her concentration when he forced his magical tongue into her mouth and showed her why she had her Once you go pegasus, you don’t go back shirt! Panting for air, she was given some time when Butterscotch broke the kiss and looked hungrily down at her. With a faint blush on her cheeks that she wasn’t embarrassed about because this was her Butterscotch seeing it, her mouth decided to ask a question while her body was quivering due to what she felt on her stomach was Butterscotch at half mast already! “You get the sugar, sugah!” she was cut off again when he reached up and chewed on her ear! She felt her body shift on her as Butterscotch lowered himself down while kissing and licking her neck, her malleable form trying to best position itself to be pleasured by her pegasus but no, she already had the perfect foooaaaahhsweetchaosbeingspankedinpubliclikethewhoreshewas Butterscotch licked her nipples with his special technique that drove her crazier! He then got down to her waist and her body decided it was time to change itself without her approval. As soon as Butterscotch reached her vagina, her head and tail swapped places with both of her lips salivating in anticipation at both of his magical tools. Although something was nagging her… Prince Solaris, the wise alicorn of the sun, the ruler with a thousand years of experience was frowning to himself as something felt off. He wasn’t the only one to notice it but as it was coming from Ponyville most were practicing the this-is-a-normal-day-for-those-crazy-bastards-if-I-don’t-ask-I-can’t-get-involved method to deal with it. Still, it was his duty to protect his ponies from any danger and that meant poking the hornet's ne-OH. Now he remembered where he had felt that buildup of chaos magic before and let out a sigh of relief. Nothing to worry abou- “Solaris, do you feel it too?” his brother Artemis asked as he galloped into the room. “That buildup of chaos magic? That fiend Eris is up to no good! We must stop her!” “Artemis, we shouldn’t go,” Solaris began to say to save his brother and himself an awkward situation but Artemis had already jumped the crossbow and interrupted him. “Of course, one must stay to protect Canterlot,” Artemis declared, stamping his hoof before teleporting away. Solaris counted down from five to four, three, two and now. Artemis teleported back into the room, face completely purple and the blush continued along his brother’s body with his wings pressed to his side with wide eyes. Solars simply smiled at his brother and asked, “And what did we learn, Artemis?” “We learned that our dear friend Butterscotch is not meek when it comes to passion of lovemaking and that he should close his front door so that no others inadvertently stumble in and witness the Draconequus... mating rituals.” He shuddered and looked at his brother. “I do believe I require a shower, among other things.” “You go do that, Arty, I need to find an umbrella,” Solaris said, which attracted his brother’s attention. “I have seen this before and trust me, when Eris is like this, she becomes very predictable.” Artemis was torn between taking a very cold shower and learning what his brother knew about Eris being predictable. With a sigh that came from knowing he should have stayed in bed today, Artemis followed his brother out into the hallway. Eris’s ear twitched as she heard someone teleport nearby, squeak like a filly and teleport away but didn’t pay it any mind as she took Butterscotch's enormous black dick down her throat with her bear paw rubbing his balls as her large eagle talon flew up to rub his wing joints with her hoof and dragon foot both kicking the ground as her dragon tail swept across the room with the ecstasy she felt from how Butters dominated her walls with his heavenly tongue! She’d give up being an avatar of chaos if she could have this for the rest of her lif- She let out a deep moan, shuddering as her body started to jellify again as Butterscotch wrapped his tongue around her button, with a strong part of her inner self keeping them in places to either pleasure her pegasus and get pleasured by her pegasus. Like her chest was floating just in place to be traced and tantalized by his wings, stroking her nipples or her flanks being rubbed by his hooves just right. She was barely, just barely holding back from climaxing at how perfectly he was treating every part of her and she loved the fact that they got to this point where Butterscotch didn’t even flinch at her body floating around in parts anymo-. She gasped as her butt was now being teased by his tail, oh was there anything her precious pegasus couldn't do‽ She felt her body begin to quake, a sign that she either was going to climax or her body was going to reform itself on her and give her one nasty whiplash and more importantly hurt Butte-. “Eris,” he moaned into her, filled with nothing but utter love for her! Welp, that did it. Glory shot in five, four, three, two- “Ughh,” Solaris groaned, holding a newspaper up over his head with Artemis tilting his head at him and the simply terrifying amount of chaos magic building up at an alarming rate. “It should be good from the rain,” he said as he looked at his little brother. With a sigh and a roll of his eyes, Artemis looked at his brother and said, “It doesn’t rain inside, -” but before he finish his retort, the buildup of chaos magic hit its climax and a wave of chaos magic ran out from the epicenter, causing a number of trees to change into shapes that looked very questionable, several clouds to start raining a near endless amount of socks as well a storm inside the room where Artemis and Solaris were in and that Artemis hoped with every fibre of his being was just white chocolate staining his face. Tilting his head when he heard his brother snickering, he saw that Solaris was now dressed in a light blue jacket with glasses on his nose. “Hello Janet,” Solaris held a wing to his face, smirking a very telling smil- Artemis looked down at himself to see he was dressed in a pink dress and let out a very loud annoyed growl. “I hate you, Solaris,” Artemis snarled as he tried to tug his outfit off with little success. Muttering under his breath, he grabbed the a section of the newspaper and held it over his head. “Once I get this off of me, we are going to go investigate the damages and talk to Eris about...” he trailed off, shaking his hoof to think of a proper way to phrase his sentence. “Agreed,” Solaris said, bumping his brother’s flanks. “Although, we might have only one thing to worry about. Only time will tell.” Eris let out a girly giggle as she flew in a perfect backwards circle, her mind still replaying that amazing bout of surprise sex from her usually timid coltfriend. He was curled up on one of her doubles as another her cleaned everything up in a sexy maid’s outfit while another her cooked up some breakfast for them in a sexy apron while another her tended Butter’s animals in a sexy outfit and so on. She had usually put a block on herself from going that hard but she couldn’t remember exactly why she had- “Ow,” she let out a squeak of surprise as she flew into something hard and bopped her nose. Frowning in confusion as she knew this stretch of the forest very well, she looked to see what dared bonk her no- She let out a tiny gasp at what she saw, the reason for her self-block in full view. “Oh no,” she gulped as she looked up, way up at the result of her dysfunction flaring up. Looking over her shoulder to make sure Butterscotch didn’t see it as he would probably be mortified and never speak to her again, she quickly snapped her fingers to make it vanish. It was still there. After snapping her fingers several more times with it still being there, Eris felt her dread double as it began to move on its own on a path that would take it directly into Ponyville! “Ohnononononononono!” she began to fly in nervous circles, almost tying herself in a knot before she caught herself at the last second. She then halted, placed a bearpaw over her chest and took some deep breaths that she totally didn’t copy from watching Magicbutt having a panic attack. “Okay, I need to get some help stat!” With a plan of attack in paw, she teleported herself away to find Magicbutt while leaving a clone of herself to guard the object before teleporting back in and covering it up with a large tarp that had her beautiful mug on it with the caption saying You mad? and Mine, no touchy!!!! scrawled underneath it. Author's Note Try and guess what her dysfunction is!
For Prince and Country!Ponyville was to be described as a bastion of chaos, with how much insanity can spew out without any eyebrows being raised. Instead they simply looked out the window to see what kind of chaos it was and if it was due to their draconequus neighbour getting some action from her shy pegasus lover. The fact they thought their relationship was a secret was just adorable. Still, it meant when socks started raining from the sky, they collected the bets they made and brushed off the oddities without blinking an eye. That was why their prince Dusk Shine and Applejack were more surprised to see Rainbow Blitz and Elusive walking side by side with two bags of groceries on the pegasus’s back with the unicorn holding some of his own in his magic. What really caught their eyes was how relaxed and perky both of them were, with Blitz chuckling at some joke Elusive made and bumping flanks. Seeing the athletic stunt-pony so chummy with his fashion orientated friend was very unusual and warranted the alicorn and earth pony to rush over to them. It was Rainbow Blitz who saw them first and waved a wing at them, shouting, “Hi guys, what’s uuureally dude?” he snapped at Elusive who shrugged his shoulders. “Sorry, lost a bit of my focus there, Blitz,” Elusive said with a bit of a blush on his face. “Better?” he asked, fixing the bags on the pegasus’s back. Blitz simply put on a smile on his face, and let out a soft yah. Dusk Shine simply blinked in confusion with Applejack smirking up a storm. Looking at the pegasus and at the unicorn, and his smirk deepened. “Imma guess ya’ll got some with each other?” Both Blitz and Elusive’s faces grew beet red with Dusk tilting his head. “Got some what?” he asked, causing his friends to look at him. Applejack pawed the ground before finding his voice, “Ya know, they had a roll in the hay?” “Elusive rolled in hay?” Dusk asked, turning to face his flabbergasted unicorn friend. Blitz facehoofed with a very loud sigh mixed in a groan. “I keep saying guys, we really need to get him laid.” “Laid what Blitz, that sentence makes no sense,” Dusk said with a bit of a huff; feeling that Blitz was making fun of him again for being a bit naive. Blitz looked at him and then at Elusive with a sigh. “Sorry man, that just killed it for me,” he said with downcast eyes. “It’s alright, Blitzy, that line was a true moment killer,” Elusive said with a sad sigh. “Will somepony tell me what’s going on?” Dusk asked in a loud voice, starting to attract attention from other ponies passing by. “These two varmints here fooled around,” Applejack said, hoping that his friend would get the message. “What-” “Oh for Solaris’s sake ya thick headed dolt!” Applejack smacked the prince across the head with his hat. “They.” Smack. “Had.” Smack. “Sex.” Smack, smack, smack and smack. “Oh,” Dusk said as he finally understood what his friends were saying before looking at the two. “You two are dating?!” “What no!” Blitz shouted with Elusive looking a bit put off at his declaration. “We’re just friends with benefits right now.” “Friends with ben-” “It means they buck with no-” “I know what it means, Applejack,” Dusk hissed, his face red with embarrassment at how dense he had been. “I’m just making sure, partner,” Applejack grinned. “Ya’ll ain't the sharpest tool in the shed when it comes to this kind of stuff.” “I am not that bad,” Dusk grumbled, stomping his hoof. “I-” “Thereyouare!” Eris appeared. Picking up Dusk Shine and holding him to her chest, she continued to ramble, “Ineedyourstupidmagicknowledgehelpnow!” before vanishing. Applejack shared a concerned look with Blitz and Elusive before letting out a sigh. “Ah guess Ah should go check that out but first; what was your little bet?” Blitz’s face got even redder with him beginning to stammer he knew nothing about what Applejack was talking about but Elusive let out a sigh and a pulse from his horn causing the pegasus to squirm for a second. “Blitz here said that he can hold back no matter what I do; if I win, we get to spend an entire day at the spa with Blitz getting a full package deal.” “And when I win, he has to come with me at the next concert,” Blitz said, jetting his head out with a cocky grin on his face. Elusive simply raised an eyebrow at that and flared his horn again, causing Blitz to meep and his wings to fluff out. “El, not my ploOh hey Prince Solaris, Prince Artemis what can we do fo-are you on fire?” Everypony looked at Artemis who was indeed had a sliver of fire on his flank. Artemis blinked before his entire body was engulfed in flames before sputtering out. “There, better,” the alicorn of the night said with a glare towards his older brother who had a smirk on his face. “Did you just set yourself on fire, Prince Artemis?” Elusive asked carefully. “To quote my brother, ‘there is nothing you cannot solve with enough amount of fire,’” Artemis said with an air of annoyance. “Have any of you seen Er-” “Does that include the mess in your bedroom, Arty?” Solaris asked, causing Artemis to send a burst of fire at the white alicorn’s face. “As I was saying, have any of you seen Eris?” Artemis asked with clenched teeth as Solaris just laughed and patted his brother on the head. “Eeeyup, she was just here before she took Dusk ‘cause she needs some help,” Applejack said with Solaris frowning and stroking his beard. “So it has happened again,” he muttered to himself before looking at Artemis.”Come, we don’t have much time to waste.” He then teleported himself, his brother and the earth pony away, leaving Blitz and Elusive alone. They shared a look with each other before Blitz asked, “Should we go?” “No, no, I am sure whatever Eris needs help with can be solved by three alicorns and at very least if the Elements are needed, they know where to find us and I am sure they will knock first.” He then leaned and whispered into Blitz’s ear. “Besides, we don’t want the ice cream to go to waste, now we do?” Blitz smirked, wagging his tail. “Well, let’s get gooaooa,” Blitz moaned, stamping his hooves before shaking his head and wiggling his eyebrows at a pouting Elusive. “Is that the best you got?” Elusive simply raised an eyebrow and grinned viciously at the pegasus. Rainbow Blitz gulped, realizing he’d bitten off a bit more than he could chew and hoped that Mayor Mustang wouldn’t have them arrested for public indecency. Dusk let out a sigh, rubbing his face as he tried to think of another way to approach this matter as Eris was being even more problematic and difficult than usual. He was so fed up about this entire situation of her refusing to tell him what was under the tarp that he barely reacted when his former teacher, his brother and friend teleported in. “Good, you’re here,” Dusk muttered, looking at the trio walking towards whatever was under the tarp with Eris floating around nervously. “Maybe you can help her out.“ Solaris simply looked at it and went ah and gave Eris a knowing smile. “So it has happened to you again, Eris?” Solaris asked, while receiving a crude gesture in return from her. “What is going on Eris,” Artemis asked, stalking close to the tarp’s object. “What is under here?” “Arty, I wouldn’t do that,” Solaris said while Eris seemed torn between stopping him and enjoying what was about to come. Artemis simply rolled his eyes, and darted under the tarp. Solaris began to count down from five with Artemis walking out on one. “And once more, Artemis, what did we learn?” Solaris asked with a smirk. “More than I ever wished to know about our friend Butterscotch,” Artemis said with a shake of his entire body. He then glared at the snickering draconequus. “Why did you create that?” “Hey, it’s not like I wanted to create it!” Eris pouted, crossing her arms. “It’s not my fault I’ve got....” she then blushed and muttered something under her breath. Dusk Shine blinked in confusion before shaking his head. “Enough is enough, Eris, if you want my help, I need to know what I am trying to hide for you!” Before anypony could stop him, he tossed the tarp off the object with everypony freezing on the spot. It was finally Applejack who broke the silence by stating the obvious, “So that’s what Butterscotch's dick looks like on a giant statue.” “Actually, it’s all proportional,” Eris said with a grin as she looked at the massive golden statue of a fully stimulated Butterscotch. That caused Solaris, Applejack and Artemis’s eyes to widen, with the farmer giving a whistle of surprise. “Tarnations, if any of the mares back in Ponyville knew he was hung like an Arabian horse, Ah’d reckon he’d have to beat ‘hem off with a stick,” Applejack said, finally able to tear his eyes away and look over at Dusk. “Hung like an Arabian means-” “I know what it means, Applejack,” Dusk mumbled under his breath, taking his eyes away from the statue. “And besides, Butters doesn’t need a stick, he’s got me,” Eris said with a wide grin, pointing her thumbs at herself. “And further to the point, he has a powerful stick all of his own,” Solaris said as he began to circle around the statue. “That means-” “I am aware of what that means, Applejack.” “You have yet to explain why you have created this… this,” Artemis waved a hoof at the statue, eyes locked onto the ground. “She didn’t create it on purpose, brother,” Solaris said as he tapped Butterscotch’s leg. “She has this… dysfunction.” “Solaris, I swear if you say anything,” Eris began, her face growing red. “What was it,” Solaris said, tapping his chin. “Oh yes, you have erect-idol dysfunction!” Everypony simply stared at Solaris except for Eris who was fuming mad with smoke coming out of her ears. “You are not joking, are you brother, are you?” Artemis sighed heavily into his hoof. “By the way Dusk, erect-idol sounds-” “I know what it sounds like, AJ,” Dusk growled. “Hey, it’s not my fault when I have good lay I sometimes create massive golden statues!” Eris shouted, stabbing a finger into Solaris’s chest. “That is debatable Eris, but the question is why do you need help hid-why is it moving?” Artemis asked, noticing the statue had moved ever so slightly. “Part of her dysfunction causes the statue to move to a highly dense location to be seen by all,” Solaris said looking at the other stallions. “We have some time to figure out how to deal with this statue before everypony in Ponyville sees Butterscotch’s johnson.” “That means,” “I am aware of what the term means, Applejack,” Dusk said through gritted teeth, his face still red. “Ah’m just making sure partner,” Applejack said with a grin. Dusk Shine just growled at his friend. “I mean, if ponies see his massive wang, Butters will never leave his cottage, and worse, he might kick me out!” Eris shouted, ignoring Applejack and Dusk’s back and forth. “Wang means-” “I KNOW WHAT IT MEANS AND I KNOW WE ARE TALKING ABOUT BUTTERSCOTCH’S ENORMOUS PENIS!” Dusk shouted in the Royal Canterlot Voice, startling everypony, including Dusk Shine especially when he heard his voice echo through the forest. With a blush across his entire body as BUTTERSCOTCH’S ENORMOUS PENISwas echoed again in perfect clarity and volume, he meekly looked at a frowning Solaris. “Really, Dusk, what that truly called for?” Solaris asked, shaking his head. “Especially not with your lung capacity!” an Eris grumbled as she teleported in. “As you had to shout it here, I think it will be stuck forever in the Everfree forest!” “And I think it’s traveling towards Manehattan,” another Eris said, holding a squirming bag of something. “At least, that’s what I think I caught.” “I swear I didn’t BUTTERSCOTCH’S ENORMOUS PENIS -” Dusk meeped as his echo returned. With a loud tsk, Solaris looked at an equally unamused Artemis. “It seems we need to do more than one task in Canterlot; Eris can you monitor the statue with one of your duplicates?” With a nod of her head, Solaris teleported them away and into his royal chambers. “Now before we begin dealing with Eris’s love statue, there is the matter of you, my former student,” Solaris said with a frown. Turning to face the doorway that had a pegasus guard staring in, he nodded his head towards her. “Guard, I need you to go to your superiors and my lead advisors. I need a committee put forth to find the perfect mare or stallion that can provide sexual pleasure and knowledge to Prince Dusk Shine. Do you understand me?” he asked the still orange coated mare with a blue mane and wide eyes. She stood still for all of five seconds, with her and Dusk Shine’s eyes wide with shock and ears beet red before she snapped to attention with a wing to her forehead. “Sire, I volunteer myself for this mission!” “Hmm,” Solaris said tapping his chin while turning his head to suppress his grin. He turned to look at Dusk Shine, asking him, “Is this okay with yo-” “YES!” he squeaked out, his voice cracking, having Eris and the stallions in the room snicker at the moment. “I mean, yes, Flare Warden.” “Good, my prince,” she said, walking straight to the alicorn. “If you will follow me, we will go to…” she trailed off as she didn’t have a location to proper classroom for the alicorn to learn in. “You can use his old bedroom, Flare Warden. Do bring him back once you two are finished,” Solaris said as the two began to rub against each other, with the mare practically leading the stallion out of the room before Solaris teleported away. “Now that that is taken care of, let us deal with the other matter at hoof, Eris,” he drawled out, causing the female to blink and place her arms on her hips. “What was that tone for, Solaris?” she asked, flicking her tail. “Because I know you are going to try and record what Dusk and Flare are doing,” Solaris said with Eris huffing and muttering killjoy. “And while I do not think we can stop the statue nor will you permit us to destroy the statue, there is only one option left to us.” “What, what is it?” Eris asked with a nervous tone in her voice. “You must talk to Butterscotch and tell him what happened,” he said with Eris pulling back in surprise. “But-but,” Eris stuttered, looking terrified. “Butters will be-” “Shocked, embarrassed, humiliated and maybe even mad at you,” Solaris said, trotting near her. “Opposed to being furious with you that you hid something like that from him.” He then placed a hoof on her shoulder and tilted her head upwards with his wing. “It will be painful, but if you truly care for Butterscotch, you will do what is right, not what is easy.” Eris stood still for a moment before letting out a tiny sigh before giving Solaris a nod. “As much as I hate admitting you’re right, you’re right.” Eris then rubbed her arms, before shaking her head. “Time to go break the news to Butters.” She then snapped her fingers and vanished. “You sure that is the best option, Solaris?” Artemis asked, raising an eyebrow at his brother. “It’s the start of the best option we have, Arty,” Solaris said, nodding his head as a servant brought forth a cup of tea. “What we need to do is wait for the makeup sex and then we need somepony who is very adept at manipulation of beings when they are in a fugal state of mind to influence her to destroy the statue…” He then gave his brother a very wide grin. “Oh no,” Artemis said, shaking his head, backing up with his eyes wide in terror. “No no no no no no I refuse to-” “You should brace yourself Artemis,” Solaris said, taking a sip of his tea with Artemis only aware of the serious build up of magic. Before he could formulate his next thoughts, a vast wave of magic surged through the castle and down into the city. Artemis was left leaning forwards with his wings trying desperately to stabilize himself while other ponies were thrown forwards. Prince Solaris simply stood there, drinking from his cup of tea without so much as batting an eye. The only other pony to show no reaction was a mare that simply put down her book and mused that it finally happened. She gathered her books of history and then teleported herself to Ponyville for a very important conversation with one Dusk Shine, one that she would not be denied. Meanwhile back in the royal chambers of Solaris, the inhabitant finally stopped his laughter at his brother faceplanting into his desk and getting ink all over his face, drawing himself into a serious-like manner with only a few snickers escaping his lips. Artemis simply glowered at him, taking a rag to clean his face when the doors opened up to show a low-flying Flare Warden who had a very pleased look on her face and staggering Dusk Shine who had a goofy grin plastered across his face. “And, my dear little pony, how did you mission go?” Solaris asked, tilting his head. “If I were to die now, I would die a very happy mare,” Flare Warden muttered with a happy sigh. “‘Here lies Flare Warden, faithful guard of the Princes, she who made Prince Dusk Shine a stallion.’” she said with a giggle, looking at Dusk who simply made an awkward sound that sounded like an agreement. “Well, I do know that Dusk has been lax in setting up his guards, perhaps with some more training you could lead it,” Solaris said with the mare’s eyes widening in surprise and Dusk making more happy noises. “But that can wait as Artemis need to deal with Eris-” “No, I said I refuse,” Artemis jabbed a hoof into his brother’s chest. “I refuse to be part of this insanity that is your plan, brother! I mean, I should be in my bed asleep right now! In fact,” Artemis raised a hoof before his horn glowed brightly. Artemis then fell to the ground fast asleep and snoring peacefully. Solaris stared at his brother in surprise, his plans clearly derailed. “Artemis, wake up,” he said as he shook his brother, who was getting even louder in his snores. This wasn’t good as he needed Artemis to influence Eris to get rid of that blasted statue while she was distracted and he couldn’t go as one of them needed to make sure the sun or moon wouldn’t react horribly to an alicorn like him or his brother climaxing. Almost a thousand years of celibacy after that romp when Artemis was banished resulted in him nearly melting the icecaps meant that he would have very little control over his sun if he had sex with Eris and Butterscotch without Artemis to spot him. He needed somepon- “Flare Warden, I have another mission for you, if you choose to accept it,” Solaris addressed the bare orange mare who was whispering things to Dusk. “We have a crisis, of sorts, that my dear brother has decided to refuse to handle and I am incapable of handling with him asleep.” “What do you need me to do, sir?” she asked, landing and performing a proper salute, with all traces of her previous bliss gone. That was good, showing she could be professional if the situation required it and wouldn’t be a hinderance in the future. “Eris has this condition when she has intense intercourse, she creates a massive golden statue of her partner that moves itself to the nearest public place with a high population density. The statue cannot be destroyed and for the pony in question, this could be a potentially life-scarring event. I also know that Eris is also very susceptible during such times and could very easily be tricked into destroying said statue. I would have Prince Artemis handle such matters due to his expertise with the fluid state of dreams being near identical to the chaos that comes to hoof when Eris reaches her climax but he is out of commision.” He paused to jab a hoof into his brother’s gut which only gained him a snore in return. “The only other pony I can think of that would be qualified is my nephew Prince Bolero, but he is in the Crystal Empire with his wife and would take far too long for him to come in and aid us. What I am asking you, my little pony, is to wait until Eris has neared her climax and then put yourself in a position where you can influence her to remove the statue.” Flare Warden took all this in before nodding her head. ”I will do this mission, for both my Princes and my country, sir,” she with a near perfect salute before briefly looking at Dusk Shine. “I-” “Will have your papers and belongings transferred over to Ponyville as that is your destination,” Solaris said sharply, regaining her attention. She wasn’t perfect, not yet, but he could see her becoming a very powerful guard with enough proper training that would do her best to protect Dusk Shine. Solaris’s ear twitched, feeling the stir of chaos magic in the aether, a sign Eris was beginning to get close. “Are you sure you wish to perform this mission?” “I am sir,” she said, staring him down as best as she could. “Very well,” Solaris replied, giving her nod back. “Are you ready, Flare Warden?” “In a moment, sir,” she said before turning to face Dusk. “We’ll talk back in your place, right?” Dusk simply nodded his head rapidly before breaking out in a wide smile that should have caused any sensible mare to take a few steps back, flee and never return. Those in love simply saw it as adorable and blushed from seeing it. She then turned to face Solaris. With a nod of her head to tell him he was ready, the alicorn teleported her to Butterscotch’s cottage to trick the goddess of chaos while she was having sex. Solaris then turned to face Dusk Shine, with a soft smile on his face. “And how was your first time, Dusk?” Dusk Shine blinked before shaking his head slowly. He then looked up at Solaris and said, “If you ever have an antisocial student like me in the future, try setting them up with somepony. I think you’ll get a lot more results far quicker.” Laughing loudly, Solaris shook his head, “And what if my possible future student is as dense as you were and missed all the attempts I had lined up for you to take?” Dusk Shine blushed, pawing the ground. “But you do know that a relationship is not all fun and games, that if you plan to have a serious relationship with Flare Warden or any other pony, you need to act serious and responsible.” “I know, Solaris,” Dusk Shine began to brush him off and while he knew his former student wouldn’t intentionally mishandle a relationship, Solaris would not let his former student get off that easily. “I know that Dusk, and I do believe you,” Solaris said as he stepped over his brother.”I mean, that is why you used protection when you and Flare Warden had sex, to be both serious and responsible, right?” Dusk Shine freezing on the spot was not the answer he was looking forward to. “Right?” he asked again, with Dusk’s eyes darting back and forth before squeaking and teleporting away. Solaris blinked at that tidbit of information and wondered how much his actions to get his former student laid would bite him in the flanks later on. He then cast his eyes on Artemis and narrowed his gaze. “Now what to do with you, brother,” he tapped his chin before sporting a grin on his face and teleporting himself and his brother out of the room. Applejack turned his head back and forth in the empty room and let out a sigh of annoyance. “Sure, take me all the way to Canterlot and don’t even give me a way back home,” he muttered as he began to trot to the doors. “Gramps is going to kill me for being away from the farm all day.” It was at that moment that the second surge of chaos magic raced the lands, and a beam of chaos magic turned the floor that Applejack had his hoof on into poison joke. Jumping backwards, Applejack turned to face the mirror to see what changes had occurred- “Ah consarn it!” Applejack swore as she stomped her way out of the royal chambers, face red with embarrassment as well as hoping Blitz wouldn’t see her like this as he would never let it go, slamming the doors shut behind her.
This is why we close our blinds!It was later in the day when Flare Warden trotted into Ponyville with her head downcast. She had bungled her mission a fair degree. On one hoof, she had managed to achieve the mission’s goals perfectly; the statue no longer being one of Butterscotch who truly lived up to the massive idol that bared his staff. While on the other hoof, she hadn’t caused Eris to destroy the statue and she just hoped that Dusk Shine wouldn't be too embarrassed and that either he or Prince Solaris could get rid of that bucking gold statue. She stood in front of the doors to Dusk Shine’s castle and knocked on them, calling out “Dusk Shine?” “Flare Warden?” he called out from a nearby room. “I know we said we’d talk about us after we had that quickie in your old room, but there is something I need to tell you,” she said as she walked into the castle, following his voice. “Flare, I-” “No, it’s very important,” Flare cut him off, needing to tell him that the statue was now of him and almost in the centre of the town now. “I-” She froze as she walked into the small sitting from with Dusk Shine looking terrified with an older looking mare sitting right next to him, drinking some tea. “Hello dear, I am Dusk Velour and you must be the special little mare that took my little Dusky Wusky’s virginity,” she chirped happily as Dusk let out a tiny groan. She placed her teacup onto the table which had a book labeled baby photos and looked at her again. “Please, sit, we have so much to talk about.” Flare Warden decided that she would rather deal with Eris again then do this. She looked behind her, only for the older mare to say, “The doors and windows are all locked.” Welp, she’d slept with an alicorn and a draconequus today, she was good to die. With that, she went to deal with the most terrifying creature of her entire life with Dusk looking absolutely scared. Artemis let out a tired yawn as he woke up, shaking his head. It was not often he cast a spell that knocked himself out, but it was the only way to escape his brother’s inane plotting. What was he thinking, having him go sleep with Eris and Butter- He was not in his bedroom or anywhere he knew and he was resting on a metallic object. Looking forwards, he saw a note in his brother’s hoof writing. Dear Arty, you never asked how I knew all those details about Eris. Love, Solaris. Artemis’s coat stood up as he read the note, and saw that it was attached to a gold surface. With his blood running cold, he tilted his head upwards and saw the profile of his brother’s face. Looking behind himself with his entire body trembling, Artemis saw what he feared to see and simply screamed. It was late in the night when Blitz and Elusive heard somepony knocking on the tailor's window. Turning their heads to face the window, the unicorn opened his window and let the Lunar guard land in front of the bed both he and his pegasus friend were on. “Can we help y-” “Are you Rainbow Blitz and Elusive Belle?” she asked sharply, the bat pony glaring at both of them. “Er, yeah, why?” Blitz asked, tilting his head at his friend for any help. “Due to some backtracking, it was determined that entire set of events today was caused by you two not closing your blinds when having sex that resulted in Prince Artemis tearing Prince Solaris’s giant dick off, chasing him through the public parts of the palace with said giant dick and hitting Solaris in the head with it.” Both Blitz and Elusive winced, with the former wide eyed and the later opening and closing his mouth. “Um,” the unicorn said, tapping his bed. “Care to repeat that as I am fairly certain what I heard could not be accurate.” “Please don't make me say it again, seeing it was bad enough,” she groaned, rolling her eyes at how foolish her prince acted in front of the diplomatic visitors. “So… what are you two planning to do tonight as I have been assigned to make sure what happened today does not repeat itself.” “Nothing really,” Blitz said, shrugging his shoulders. “Just going to teach Elusive here how to preen my wings.” She paused at this, weighing her options carefully. And decide that if Flare Warden could get away with sleeping with Prince Dusk Shine, she could try and get away with indulging on her fetish. “Hmmm,” she said as she removed her helmet and stared as Blitz opened his long, elegant feathery wing out to the unicorn. “I best keep an eye on this and make sure nothing… unsavory happens.” Both Blitz and Elusive shared a look and then shrugged their shoulders. What was the worst that could happen? It was morning when Elusive finally woke up, with two hooves holding him close to another pony’s barrel. Tilting his head up, he saw his friend Blitz began to stir and let out the most adorable yawn ever. “Hey,” he said to the pegasus. “Hey,” the pegasus replied softly as he went to nuzzle Elusive head with his chin. “Last night was…” “Awesomerifically amazing?” Elusive offered. “Yah, that,” Blitz said in a distracted voice. “So glad we did this.” “Me too,” Elusive replied, eyes closing as sleep began to reclaim him. “Hey El,” Blitz said, causing the unicorn to stir. “Yah Blitz?” “I think we forgot to close the blinds last night.” Elusive opened an eye and tilted his head to see indeed that not only were his blinds wide open but the windows were open too. Which meant all his neighbours and friends no doubt heard them last night. Pulling the bat mare closer to him, he muttered, “Oh buck me.” “Well, since you asked El,” was his only warning he got before Blitz pounced, with the blinds to his window open to the world. The End.
