Lord of the Night

by Blood Red

Rating: teen
Tags: Princess Celestia, Sex, Human, Main 6, Gore, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Dark, Zecora, Alternate Universe, Sad, Princess Luna, Original Character, Comedy, Adventure
Length: 13545

Non-Sparkly Vampire in Equestria, Chess Game of the Gods related, but easily read as stand alone.

I am a Vampire in Equestria, a former vegan, who now thirsts for blood,
Sent here by my predecessor, to play the game, because he didn't want to. I have been asked by Princess Luna, who helped me enter this world, to make, insane creatures, sent by an evil, crazy god, Tiamat, leave.
And the only way to leave is to die.

In the Chess Game of the Gods land created by Rust and Blackwing among others.

Published 2012-07-08 17:14:02 UTC
Last updated 2012-07-13 18:28:59 UTC

My Last Night

Wander through the streets of Perth, Australia
You might be lucky enough to find a little bar down a black alley called
‘Daily Planet’
In this little place you’ll find a whole bunch of strange characters that’s because its Perth’s one and only cosplay bar.
Anime characters, video game avatars, and anything in between can be found drinking and talking and listening to the piano being played, by a guy dressed up as a gentleman, ninja, cowboy, Mighty Morphing Power Ranger, or whatever he bloody well feels like dressing up as.
That guy is, or rather, was me.

On this particular night, my last on earth, it was, if I remember correctly, a Tuesday. Most Tuesdays the only reason I would be there playing is because I did not have any homework for engineering or chemistry set by my university. This was one of those Tuesdays.
A gust of wind pronounced the entrance of another character dressed in black. Black suit, black leather boots, black coat, black fedora, and a blood red tie. This dress wasn’t unusual classic vampire fare, but he still created quite a surprise, as around here we hadn’t seen a vampire costume in a while, cause of all the bad (or good, depending on if you’re normal or, a screaming little girl or her sexually dissatisfied mother) press. Still I‘d always liked vampires, especially the good old ones, who could change form, not go out in the sun, and where all in it for the blood. So I called him over determined to see what made him so brave, and so with a wave of my hand I, unknowingly, sealed my fate.
“Hey mate,” I said “I haven’t seen a decent vampire in a while, what brings you to my neck of the woods?”
“Play me this song and I might tell you” he said handing me a piece of paper with the words “Lucerna Laudoniae” on it. This surprised me, I’d never had a request for a biblical song before, but hey, this just made me more curious. And so of I went singing and playing in my baritone voice, I was pretty much allowed to play whatever I wanted, and the management said I always had to fulfil requests, no matter how weird, so I had played plenty of game ditties and the like in my time.
“For the beauty of the earth,
For the beauty of the skies,
For the love which, from our birth
Over and around us lies,

Christ, our God, to thee we raise

This our sacrifice of praise.

For the beauty of each hour
Of the day and of the night,
Hill and vale, and tree and flower,
Sun and moon and stars of light.

For the joy of ear and eye,
For the heart and mind’s delight,
For the mystic harmony
Linking sense to sound and sight,

For the joy of human love,
Brother, sister, parent, child,
Friends on earth and friends above,
For all gentle thoughts and mild,

For each perfect gift of thine
To our race so freely given,
Graces human and divine,
Flowers of earth and buds of heaven”

When I finished I turned to my side, expecting to see the vampire there, but instead found him with his tongue halfway down the throat of a Japanese Lolita (doll girl), who was kissing back just as hard. I decided that I didn’t want to interrupt their fun so left them to it, so I went back to just playing whatever the hell I felt like. Until about a half hour later, when I felt a tap on my shoulder, this caused me to jump in my seat, as i had not sensed anybody behind me in anyway. When I had calmed down, I turned around, and saw the vampire from earlier, sans the Lolita.

He cleared his throat and said “sorry about that, I have not been intimate in a while and she was being very suggestive, I just had to take advantage of the situation, however I now realise that I have made a grave error in my behaviour, and insulted the very person I wished to converse with”.

“That’s all right man, no skin of my nose, now what do you wanna talk about, my blood sucking brother?” I questioned him.

“Ah yes” he said “I want to talk to you about ponies, specifically bright coloured, talking ones”. This scared the shiznit out of me, no one, and I mean, no one, knew I was a brony, the crowd at the Daily Planet was pretty accepting but MLP: FiM just was not big enough down under to make it respectable or acceptable to be a fan.

“How the fuck did you know?” I whispered to him, now trying to keep the conversation as quite as possible.

“It seems that I have more information on you than you do on me, James Clash” he said. “Oh shit, how did he know my name?” was the last though I had as, he reached over and touched my forehead, and I blacked out.

I woke up in my chair in my living room, with him watching “My Little Pony” on my TV, I got scared, fucking frightened, not because he was here, but if my parents came home, this situation would be impossible to explain, especially since I didn’t know what it was, that was going on. He noticed I was awake, and came over to me and started talking.

“When you have lived as long as I have James, you learn to appreciate three things in life, love, laughter, and music” he smiled at me, in a friendly manner that actually reassured me a little. “You have all these qualities in spades, and so I am here, through favours owed me by other’s like myself, to give you my abilities, my immortality, my metamorphosis, and my heightened strengths on all fronts” he dictated, as if I mattered nought in the matter.

“Why?” I asked, not believing him, but trying to stall for time, and none the less, I figured at least it might be interesting to hear, in a morbid fascination.

“I have lived far too long, and have been caught unaware by recent happenings in Equestria” he explained “and I now know that, though I may be able to help in this clash, I shall not, as it is time for me to ascend to a higher life form on the next plane, and so I chose you as my successor, as lord of the night, last vampire, and protector of those who cannot protect themselves”. “Your mission from now, is to find those whom are introduced by evil elements in this game, the unsavoury humans that should not be allowed to exist in that world, and remove them from it” he declared, and then with a flick of his fingers, for the second time that night, everything went dark.

Crazy as it may seem, I still didn’t realise that I was no longer conscious, spending hours conversing with myself in a strangely lucid dream, until I started hearing a tapping, incessantly drilling itself into my brain, concerning my very dream self, to ask what was occurring in the real world. Having realised I was dreaming the strangely sexual ice-cream I was talking to disappeared and rising from my sleep, I tried to open my eyes, but found this difficult, to say the least.

In other words, “oh fuck, I can’t see shit” but as my eyes adjusted to the darkness I realised where I was, was completely devoid of light. That is, until I tried to get up and promptly fell out of what I assumed was a, very small, very compact, nigh on form fitting, bed, and created a large amount of noise, both from my expressions of anguish of having introduced my head to the floor, and also the general noise that this introduction would have created, when I found that the creation of sound had lit the chamber, as it were, in which I found myself. Reacting visibly to the introduction of light I couldn’t see anything for a moment in time, but after a short while, I was ready to look around.

First and foremost I turned around to look at the bed I had just fallen out of, and found myself looking at a coffin, a deep black, chrome finished, and velvet lined coffin. This to say the least was not what I was prepared to find, but then I pinched myself, and I found I was really awake. I looked around this apparently natural subterranean, judging by the stalagmites I saw, cavern and saw it. It was an organ, but an organ like no other; it was connected to the cave using its very supports as pipes. Seeing this I decided to try it out and walking over to it, I sat down, and placed my hands on the keys, which is when I preceded to scream.

My hands, long and thin, like those of pianist the world over, where translucently pale, which when your Australian, was very different to what I was expecting. However the reason I started to scream was because I saw a mirror on the organ, but I did not see me. Leaping up from the organ I desperately craned my neck around trying to see whether I still existed, and found myself looking at a completely naked me, exact same dimensions, “6 foot 4, and made of muscle”, but my whole body was completely pale from my head down to my toes.

Needless to say this shocked me from my stupor, that I had been under since waking. I recalled the events of the night before, wondering where I bloody was, and what the fuck was going on. I hyperventilated for quite some time, and then proceeded to start crying, as the full weight of what had occurred to me settled in. After an hour of sobbing, I decided to get up and face the day, or night, theorising that if I was indeed a vampire, I would be awake at night.

I looked around the room I was in, now realising that apart from being a cave, it was much like a library, filled with bookcases, filled with books, with a roaring fire place on one side, and the afore mentioned organ on the other, with the coffin/bed lying on the floor in the middle on a huge Persian rug. Next to this I found a table made of obsidian, which had a letter addressed to me on it. I picked up this letter and began to read:

To monsieur Clash,
I am glad to inform you that all I described has now occurred, I will pass on soon, and my powers will go onto to you, as you rest in my coffin. I imagine you have many questions, and I will try to answer as many as I can think of. Firstly, the basics, as a vampire, you need to drink a 100 ml of the blood of a red blooded creature, once a day, more if you have been injured, any creature will do from a pony to a cockatoo,(remember laughter) mirrors will not work any longer, and you cannot go out in daylight at all sunlight will be much akin to holding a burning branch to the skin of a human, secondly you are now in a cavern system directly beneath the Everfree Forest, which has been hear for millions of years, if you need a map you will find one directly above the fire place, (I looked up and sure enough it was there), clothing wise you will find you do not need it, but there is a metamorphosing suit of armour in one of the rooms adjoining this one, which will fit no matter what form you take. Ah yes, I should mention that, once you consume the blood of a creature you can immediately turn into a version of that animal that would appear to be like you, however the laws of mass must be conserved and so the form you take will weigh he exact same amount you do, and the creatures dimensions would be adjusted to suit this.

Finally a bit of history, millions of years ago, humans existed in Equestria, but where wiped out when they tried to create a super race, the vampire, I however sided with the humans, who created a new type of power using energies released from the destruction of the god particle, and gave it to me, this power allowed me to destroy all other vampires, as I could become any living thing I wanted (as long as it was red blooded). However before I had managed to kill all other vampires, they murdered all the humans on earth and began to lead it. I then spent thousands of years killing them all of, at which point I fell into a deep slumber, and woke millions of years later, or about ten thousand years ago. As I left the cave you are now in, I found the environment to be much to my liking, with many creatures I could now become, but also many more sentient beings than the one race that existed in my time. But I soon found all was not as it seemed, as there where beings more powerful than me in play, gods and goddesses who’s powers knew no end. I introduced myself to these people and soon found that there magics could not affect me (side note: you cannot be affected by magic) although I never did find out why. Because of this I was found to be useful by them as a spy/assassin, ambassador, and confidant.

Eventually I grew tired of these petty squabbles and removed myself from the world once again, until 12 months ago, when I once again smelt a human. But I found myself tired and uncaring, so I decided to see If I could die, and called out to my contacts, who assured me that once I removed my powers I would pass on, not wanting to leave this world without leaving one final mark, I went out and chose a champion, you, like many of the other beings are doing.
Regards
Dracula

Needless to say I was awe struck and scared, but most of all overwhelmed, so I decided to go outside. But first, clothes, I wandered out of the study, and into a hallway filled with doors, and preceded to open them, the first I found was akin to a treasure room filled with gems, and minerals, the second a workshop akin to a small time mechanics, which was filled with tools much a like to my own, the third was a bathroom, and the fourth was a wardrobe/armoury filled with surprisingly basic weaponry, while the fifth led to a dark pathway which seemed to have light at the end. I walked into the fourth one, and found the armour I had been told of, much like a knights only more futuristic, with a huge glowing gem in the middle around where a humans stomach would be, donning this armour, I found it fit like a glove, and was ridiculously comfortable, I grabbed a sword that was next to it, swinging it, thanking, whoever, that I had decided fencing wasn’t gay when I was younger. After this I walked out of the room and back into the hall and opened the fifth door, walking down the dark path it got brighter and bright, until I reached its end and saw, an apple tree, in the light of the moon.

My first thought was, “yay, food”, but then I recalled, I was a vampire now so, no apples for me. Then I heard something far off, a crunching sound alike to a dog breaking bones, I followed this noise as it got louder and louder, until I almost couldn’t take the sound any more it was so overwhelming. As I neared, what was causing the noise, I saw it was a rabbit that appeared to be chewing on a carrot, and I realised how much my senses must have been heightened. Then I smelt the rabbit and my very instincts seemed to take over, and I pounced on it, and grabbing its head twisted and ripped it off, then lifting the body above me I opened my mouth and squeezed all the blood I could, out of it. What happened next was extremely painful, as I turned into a giant rabbit that, according to the letter, would weigh the same as me, so about 130 kilos. Once this pain was gone I found this experience to be if anything comical, as my armour had also changed to fit this rabbit shape, and so I hopped around for a while shaking the earth I landed on, until I grew bored and wanted to change back, starting to wonder how this could be done.
But with this thought I did, and became, human, or rather, vampire once again. I looked at the remains of the small rabbit I had just killed and started to cry, for you see as a human of earth I had been a vegan, not even eating cheese, eggs or fish, and now as a vampire of Equestria, I was driven to kill animals, to be like a giant bloody mosquito. I sat on a nearby log, and continued to cry, until I became aware of a far of noise, that sounded like singing.

Desperate for company, I chased this noise, following it to a hut, Civilisation! Then I recalled where I had seen this hut before, in My Little Pony, this for the first time confirmed, I really was in Equestria. But back to the task at hand, I walked up to the door and knocked, I heard the singing stop, and the door opened, I saw a glimpse of black and white, heard a gasp, and then the door shut again loudly, ringing in my ears resoundingly. This was not the reaction I had expected from Zecora, as she herself had been an outsider, but I digress, I knocked on the door again. Thankfully, this time Zecora opened it and left it open, looking up at me.

So began my first interaction with an Equestrian.
She spoke, or rhymed first “What and who are you, for of your species I have not a clue”

I responded, deciding to lead with a song

“It's nine o'clock on a Saturday
The regular crowd shuffles in
There's an old man sitting next to me
Makin' love to his tonic and gin

He says, "Son, can you play me a memory
I'm not really sure how it goes
But it's sad and it's sweet and I knew it complete
When I wore a younger man's clothes."

la la la, di da da
La la, di di da da dum

Sing us a song, you're the piano man
Sing us a song tonight
Well, we're all in the mood for a melody
And you've got us all feelin' all right

Now John at the bar is a friend of mine
He gets me my drinks for free
And he's quick with a joke and he'll light up your smoke
But there's some place that he'd rather be
He says, "Bill, I believe this is killing me."
As his smile ran away from his face
"Well I'm sure that I could be a movie star
If I could get out of this place"

Oh, la la la, di da da
La la, di da da da dum

Now Paul is a real estate novelist
Who never had time for a wife
And he's talkin' with Davy, who's still in the Navy
And probably will be for life

And the waitress is practicing politics
As the businessman slowly gets stoned
Yes, they're sharing a drink they call loneliness
But it's better than drinkin' alone

sing us a song you're the piano man
sing us a song tonight
well we're all in the mood for a melody
and you got us all feeling alright

It's a pretty good crowd for a Saturday
And the manager gives me a smile
'Cause he knows that it's me they've been comin' to see
To forget about their life for a while
And the piano, it sounds like a carnival
And the microphone smells like a beer
And they sit at the bar and put bread in my jar
And say, "Man, what are you doin' here?"

Oh, la la la, di da da
La la, di da da da dum

sing us a song you're the piano man
sing us a song tonight
well we're all in the mood for a melody
and you got us all feeling alright”

Tapering off towards the end I looked at Zecora, who smiled and wiped a tear from her eye. She then said, or rhymed (you know what screw this she’s rhyming but it is her talking so she’s just talking)

“While the song is perfection, it doesn’t answer my question”

“Yes it does” I realised, thinking aloud, while at the same time answering her “I am the Piano Man, Lord of the Night” I proclaimed.
Zecora smiled and said
“So that is you strange creature, for in my books you do not feature, what is it you desire, what is it you require”

“Madame, all I ask on this night” I basically begged “is someone with who to find delight”, oh crap, now she had me doing it.
Thankfully she nodded at this and let me into her home. I looked at the surroundings, seeing how very similar African and zebra culture where, and wondering if Zecora was some kind of witch doctor, (hey that makes me think of a song). Regardless, I sat in a chair she indicated to me.

“Now if you please, tell me your story, while I make us cheese”, she said, I looked at her with a “are you serious” face which caused her to blush, but she nodded, so I told her what had happened over the last 24 hours, she listened intently as I told my story, right up to when I described my actions with the rabbit, when seeing how much distress this caused me, she came over and patted me on the back, an oddly human like, reassuring gesture. I completed my tale, and then started crying again, at which point she held me, overcoming any fear caused by my large canines, and I fell asleep in her arms

Luna, and the Preparation

I woke to a feeling, one I did not know well, but knew none the less, pain. Scared witless by this all-encompassing pain I opened my eyes, and found myself looking at Zecora’s hut, with sunlight coming through the room. Suddenly I heard a scream, and a blanket was thrown across my body. The pain I was experiencing went away but I was left extremely sore all over, under the blanket, I found I could still see, I inspected my body, I was covered in heat blisters.

I called out to Zecora from under the covers. “I need blood, desperately, I know I shouldn’t ask this off you, but I must have it, otherwise I shall die”. I didn’t know how I knew this; I just did, seemingly instinctively.

She replied, “I shall give you my blood, Clash, gotten from a recent gash”. With this I heard a grunt then a dripping, then a small cup was handed to me under the blanket, and I partook in the blood, of a Zebra, the disgust I thought I would have felt, completely overpowered by my desperate yearning need for the blood. I turned into a Zebra under the covers, but immediately turned back, scared the change would expose me to sunlight.

With the pain gone I became aware of Zecora moving objects around her hut and hammering something into the walls. “It is all right, inhere it is now night”, Zecora said. I took of the blanket, and found the windows to the hut covered by blankets and book cases, with the fire in the middle of the room burning brightly, Zecora standing near it.

“I am, tremendously, sorry Zecora, no one should have to suffer on my part,” I said “I shall take my leave as soon as I am able”

“Please just wait till tonight, you shall meet the antagonist of nightmare night” she replied.

“You mean Princess Luna?” I questioned, surprised that they know each other. She nodded, smiling. I spent the rest of the day asking Zecora about the inhabitants of Ponyville, hoping that at some point I could go there.

Soon the sun descended from the sky and the moon rose into the sky. Desperate for fresh air and to stretch my legs, I left the hut, once outside; I decided to try to learn how to walk as a quadruped. I changed into the zebra form, the first time I changed willingly, I felt my bones melt, and then restructure as a four legged animal, I fell to the ground, then got up shaking, tried to take a step, and then fell over again. However my second try was much better and soon I was able to trot along the ground at a reasonable place. I looked at my body and realised, that rather than a normal zebra I was red with black stripes, or black with red stripes.

I sat on my haunches and changed back, looking up at the night sky, I saw that it was different to my own, constellations that created vague animal shapes on earth, where it was obvious what they were representing here, I could see lions, and tigers and bears, (oh my) among others. I then saw what appeared to be a shooting star, descending near me.

As it got closer, I saw it was becoming increasingly pony shaped, until I realised that this was the expected Princess Luna. I bowed feeling this was the right thing to do when meeting royalty, (shut up, I happen to like being part of a monarchy), But as she landed I heard her say

“Arise, Lord of the Night, you and I must talk, for I am one of those that helped your predecessor remove you from earth”

I gasped at this, and replied “do you mean to say, that you are to blame for my current circumstance”. As I stood I saw that she stood at about five foot, leading me to deduce that Celestia was probably about 6 foot.

“Partly” she replied, with a curious look on her face, continuing she asked “you do not seem happy young Clash, whatever is the matter?”

“It’s just that I find it annoying, that I am now constricted to the night, and have to drink the blood of others to survive” I said sarcastically, I was far more angry than annoyed at this point, for it seemed she felt that the abilities given to me by Dracula, where a boon to my existence.

This changed her manner, as she became defensive “you do not like my nights” she questioned, both sadly and angrily at the same time.

“I like them just fine actually, but I find that it is hard to sleep anywhere when you can expect to be burning to death in the morning” I replied.

“That is a simple fix; you do not need worry, for all you need is a cloak of some sort to cover your body” she said trying to reassure me “in fact I believe in the town over yonder, you will find a designer friend of mine, who should be able to help you with this, I shall lead you there”. With that she trotted off, expecting me to follow, and after a moment of digesting the fact that I was heading into Ponyville, I ran after her.

As we walked I questioned her about why I was here, and she explained that, over the last 6 months, many humans had been introduced to Equestria, in a bid by the many gods of my world and hers to try to change Equestria to be better for themselves, she told me stories of humans changed to sea serpents, diamond dogs, wolves, griffins and changelings. By this I deduced that it was sometime after the ending of season 2. Then I saw that we were nearing Ponyville, and realised that its inhabitants probably would not take kindly to the sight of a 6 foot 4 human, clad in gothic armour. I asked Luna about this and with little ceremony she cut her hoof and presented it to me, saying

“This is the least I can do for it is partly my fault the situation you find yourself in”. with this I drank her blood, feeling my body and armour change, once I had completed this change, I decided to see my body in a nearby pond, I trotted over, and saw that rather than becoming a alicorn, I had become a black furred, blood red maned, Pegasus, with the armour covering most of my body, yet for some reason presenting the cutie mark area clearly, the princess saw me patting my forehead and my questioning look at her, and explained

“You cannot be affected by magic, so a horn, something created by magic, would not work on you, neither will you have the strength of an earth pony, although this is negated by the superior strength of a vampire, nor the ability to walk and manipulate clouds like a normal Pegasus”. While she was saying this, I noticed I had a cutie mark that in itself was a little bit foreboding, three crimson tear drops. With the transformation over we continued into Ponyville, where we trotted to the carousel boutique, and knocked on the door, at this point it was quite late, so I was surprised when it was opened by none other than Rarity herself, whom on noticing the princess and myself standing out there, said

“Princess Luna, how could to see you, and friend of princess, whatever can I do for the two of you, please, come in” she asked smiling brightly, so we entered the business, however when I passed by Rarity, she visibly shuddered, upon seeing my cutie mark.

Inside the store, I was quite surprised to see a cyan Pegasus with a rainbow mane and tail, dressed in Japanese style robe, with her hair styled in a free flowing manner, it really looked like Rainbow Dash, yet if the show was anything to go by, she never would have dressed like this, so it couldn’t be her. However this sherlockian theory was proved wrong when she strolled over and introduced herself

“Hi I’m Rainbow Dash, who are you”. Figuring that I could at least trust these two, I changed back to my vampire self, and said

“Hello to the both of you, my name, is Clash, and before you ask, I am a vampire” this caused Rarity to faint and Rainbow Dash to rush at me and push me to the floor, for someone so small, she sure was strong. As I lay on the floor, I saw Rainbow Dash picked up by Luna’s magic, and moved to the other side of the room, then she picked up rarity and shook her slightly, waking her.

“Please Rainbow Dash you act to hastily, this is a good person whom is here to ask a favour of Rarity, it would be good of you to show some restraint in future” She said “Clash are you alright”

“I’ll live” I exclaimed, getting up of the floor, “but please don’t do it again”. Dash just fell to floor saying something about “stupid humans” or some such thing. While this was occurring, Luna and Rarity, had been talking about my predicament, and Rarity walked over, visibly scared, but sucking it up, her generous spirit making her willing to help the ‘poor’ vampire.

“So you wish to use my designing skills” she enquired, removing a tape measure from a nearby draw, and walking over to me.

I just nodded, and she started to take my measurements while I explained that it would have to completely cover my body and armour, which I had found I could no longer remove from my body, and then I realised my sword had disappeared, but upon thinking this I saw a part of my armour become a liquid and drip into my hand, extending outwards and becoming a sword, everybody apart from Luna was surprised by this, especially Rarity who had almost been cut by the sword, when it appeared.

“I am so sorry miss Rarity” I apologised “that was a complete accident, I do hope you can find it in your heart, to forgive me” laying it on thick, she was designing my robe after all.

“Of course dear” she replied “I am sure you didn’t mean it, besides I'm finished taking the measurements now, I shall work quickly, as Luna has told me of your predicament, however it will take a few hours, why don’t you go see twilight, she has been tracking the appearance of these ‘humans’ and I assume she could help you with where you should start”

“Okay well we shall see you soon,” Luna said “come Clash, to the library”. With a goodbye from Rarity and a quick apology from Rainbow Dash, we took our leave; I changed back into a Pegasus, and we left the boutique. We trotted in the direction of the library, which was lit brightly, with something even brighter flying around inside, where I ascended the stairs and knocked, the door was immediately opened by Spike, who upon seeing me, asked rather rudely, even though it was the middle of the night, “what do you want”.

But then he saw Luna behind me, and immediately opened the door, allowing us to enter the library, where I saw a phoenix, which I assumed was Peewee, from the dragon migration episode, flying around the library, flaring brightly, and being chased by a certain lavender unicorn which seemed to be trying to catch it with her magic, before I assumed, it burned any books. “Spike I'm sorry” she exclaimed, so distracted by the hullabaloo that she didn’t notice us “we just can’t keep Peewee anymore, his flame is just getting to hot, were going to have to….” That’s when she turned and noticed us, at the same time as Peewee, who for some reason, descended and landed on my head; I was always liked by birds and was used to attracting them, but was still surprised, especially when I wasn’t burned. Upon seeing Luna and myself, she blushed, and I just smiled.

“Hello, Princess and friend, welcome to the Ponyville library,” she said, waving at the bookcases around her “what may I help you with”. Hoping to get a funny reaction, I decided to return to my vampire body again, which caused twilight to just look confused and spike to jump behind a couch, all the while Peewee remained on my head, at which point I reached up to touch him, surprised again when I did not feel any heat. As I scratched the phoenix, Twilight looked at Luna, and just pointed, asking a question without even talking.

Deciding to introduce myself I said, “I am Clash, Vampire and The Lord of the Night”. I really did like that title, but was still surprised when Luna looked at me in askance, as if not liking me using that title, but if I was the heir, to my predecessor then I figured I inherited his title. So I just smiled at Luna, who nodded her head, accepting it. I looked back to twilight, whom had trotted over to us and was proceeding, to right down my appearance and everything I had done as of yet, in a little notebook in front of her.

“Miss Twilight, I am here to ask for your help, I was told by my predecessor that I must find other humans and see if they are worthy to remain in Equestria, and, while I do not necessarily want to do this, I feel that I must do something, and should start with this” realising as I said it that that really was how I felt. Continuing I said “Rarity, whom I just met, told me that you might have some idea, where I should begin”.

“Well, while I wouldn’t say I can tell you exactly where, apart from a few, there are humans, I can tell you of a few places, in Equestria, that have been experiencing particularly bad problems with a range of different animals, that are acting in ways they have never done before” Twilight said “And I must say, you are far nicer than others of my kind you have met”.

“Thank you my dear, I aim to please, for you see, I try to always be polite, for without manners, humans are truly no greater than the apes, to whom we relate” I replied, continuing “I believe that I may have a solution to your problems with the phoenix, why don’t I take him of your han…, err, hoofs, that is, for though it does seem he likes you, having him live in a library would probably not be for the best”. With a look from Twilight at Spike, whom merely nodded his head sadly in agreement, I gained a pet, which, appearing to understand what had happened, flew over to Spike, landed on his claw, and wrapped his wings around Spike, and then released him and flew back to me.

“Well then Miss twilight, I would be much obliged if you could give me some sort of map with where these strange occurrences have happened marked on it”, I asked, hoping to return to Rarities as quickly as possible, as I feared their might not be much time till sun up. Within moments I was in possession of a such a map, and so I took my leave of the two and started to walk to rarities, Luna and the Phoenix in tow, not bothering to return to pony form, as I had decided no one else was likely to be about at this hour, as we were walking though, Luna looked up to the sky and said

“Oh my, this took us quite a longer while than I planned, I must return to the castle, but first let me explain what I require of you”. After this she told me all that had occurred over the last six months, namely the adventures, of a human-griffin, a human-diamond dog, a human-wolf, a human-changeling, and a human-serpent, when mentioning the last one Luna blushed considerably, something I wouldn’t have even believed she could do. Then she proceeded to ask me, to seek out spies, placed around Equestria by evil beings, whom her sister and herself, among others, where now against. She was asking me to do this, as I had the ability to tell between a human that had been changed and a normal being. When I asked how she merely said

“You will know” and handed me a large bag of bits, and flew off into the night. With that I arrived back at the boutique, where a tired looking rarity was just finishing an accompanying satchel to the dark brown robe and sunglasses she had created for me.

“Hello darling”, she said, on seeming enter the shop, either not noticing Peewee, are just ignoring him, “I hope you don’t mind but I placed some enchantments on the bag, glasses and robe, all will change form to fit you, regardless of what you look like, and the robe will never slip unless you want it to, and the bag is much bigger inside than outside”. I placed the robe on my body and found it covered everything but my eyes and fit perfectly, going all the way to the ankle, where my feet where covered, by the metal plating of the armour. I tried to pay her, but she would not allow it, saying I was far too polite, especially when compared to other humans she had met, "whose been so rude to these guys?"I thought "they seem nice, even Rainbow Dash apologised to me" , to pay for a simple robe, that she had found fun to make. So with a “Chow Bella” I left and turned back into my pony guise, I saw the sun was rising so placed everything that rarity had given me on and opened my map, which said that I should return to the Everfree Forest, where it seemed a griffin had been attacking ponies, who on trying to communicate with it, just heard shrieks of laughter and screaming about New York. This seemed like a good a place as any to start, so I turned around and trotted towards the forest, with the phoenix on my back.

The dragon, The Skull, and The Amazing Flying Chicken

I spent that day in a cave I found in the Everfree, which had been previously occupied by a bear, sidenote, I can now turn into a bear. Regardless, I spent the rest of the day looking for a new name for Peewee, throwing it up between Fiery and Red, eventually flipping a reasonably flat rock, so he was now named Red, which he actually seemed pretty pleased with. Considering that I was now able to go out during the day, because of the cloak, I found myself unwilling to, my whole body screaming out that it was a bad idea, so I decided to travel mainly at night. I wasn’t quite sure what Red ate, so at about noon, I sent him out to catch or collect food, and was pretty surprised when he came back a few hours later with a cupcake, but to each his own I guess.

I slept for a few hours, but I found myself awaking at exactly sundown, so morphing back into my Pegasus guise, I wandered out of the cave, with my saddlebag on my back containing the bits, the map and my cloak, in search of both a crazy griffin, and blood. I realised as I walked a reasonably well beaten path that I hadn’t even tried to fly yet, so running at a sprint I flapped my wings repeatedly, trying to gain air, but found that even if I did get off the ground I quickly grew tired, so I decided to hire the next Pegasus I saw to aid me.

I was thinking this, when abruptly I smelt pollution, monoxide and methane, and all the other smells that humanity had created through its greed. Looking up I saw a griffin flying straight towards me screaming “Watch out here comes the fantastic flying chicken”. Hoping to scare him off, I changed back to a vampire, causing him to crash into the ground next to me, but almost immediately he was up again, and started to claw at my face, yelling at me, “you false hope hallucination, flee from me for you bring nothing but lies”. “I'm not a hallucination” I replied deftly avoiding his strikes with my superior speed, unable to attack as his razor sharp claws where keeping me busy. Stopping for a second he seemed to think about what I said, but then shouted at me “that’s what they all say” and then flew up in the air and dove down at me claws extended. With little hope of giving back his sanity, I bent and then leapt hitting him fall force in the chest as his claws ripped at my face, however once I connected he stopped immediately and died, reminding me of the time I had seen a person suffer a stroke. As I dropped back to the ground with him on top of me, I bit into his next, earning a mouth full of feathers, but also the blood that I so desperately needed. I changed into a griffin, with black fur and red wings, and tried flying in this body but found it escaped, just as much as it had as a Pegasus.

Turning around, I changed back to a vampire, deciding to travel like this, unless I saw somebody else. I looked around for Red, and saw him in a tree, looking at me, curiously, as if saying “yeh, you had that, I could tell”. I smiled, so he flew over to me and landed on my shoulder. I dropped down on my knees, looking at the griffin, which it seemed, was tattooed with the mark of a five headed dragon, and decided to leave the body of the griffin lying on the ground, to let some other monster deal with it. I continued on my path, taking the map out from my bag and looked for the next nearest sighting, a large pink dragon that had been kidnapping male beings, and eating any females it encountered. This sounded strange, so I set of for Appleloosa, which was near where most of the attacks had been occurring, as I hoped to gain some information on the dragon. Venturing of into the night, I walked down the path, with Red flying ahead of me.

After walking for what seemed the better part of three hours, I found another large cave, realising it would soon be sun up, I ventured in, where I immediately realised I was not alone. I realised this because, I saw another light source in the cave, and so I stuck to the sides of the caves, red upon seeing this flew up to my shoulder, and, somehow, lowered the brightness of the light he was creating. I crept into a large chamber in the cave, where I started to smell the same pollution smell, which the griffin had created; I assumed this was what Luna meant when she talked of me knowing. I however was more shocked by what I saw in the cave, a large pink dragon, which had a noticeably large, five headed dragon mark on her hind quarters, similar to the griffins. However this was not what took my eye, but rather the fact that the huge pink dragon was mating with a comparatively smaller stallion, moaning loudly, surrounded by other male creatures, griffins, diamond dogs and the like, who either looked dead to the world, or extremely scared. This so shocked me that I stumbled, knocking a rock on the floor. This noise caused all the creatures in the cavern to look at me, even the pink dragon, which stopped mating, and turned to look at me before saying “oh my god a human, I haven’t had sex with one of you since I got here and became a dragon”. I turned around and immediately started running away as quickly as I could, Red took a few moments to realise this, and immediately started following me, as I heard the dragon shout “oh, a cat and mouse game, how fun” along with the sound of flapping wings. Just as I was about to leave the cave I saw that the sun had arisen, and I was about to get burnt, so I twisted and ran the other way not really thinking, just remembering the pain I had experienced in Zecora’s hut. I almost immediately found myself picked up in the claws of the dragon. Who upon doing this, turned around and waddled back to the cavern, accidently knocking me unconscious on the side of the subterranean tunnel.

I came to lying down on the ground, surrounded by males of many different types. They looked at me fearfully, I assume because I was human, but near to me that I could see that most of them had gone through what I now considered the worst thing in the world, the few that didn’t visibly appear to have gone through it looked even more scared, I however decided to not let this faze me as I figured at the very least I could distract her till night, then flee, even if I did leave the rest of these guys behind. I saw Red on a cleft in the cavern looking down at me, I waved and he visibly relaxed.

On seeing me awake one of the unused stallions came up to me, and asked “what are you?” I replied “I am Clash, a Vampire”, deciding to leave the title, as I didn’t feel decidedly lordly at that moment. I sat up and looked around, seeing the dragon was mating with a diamond dog, who was in quite visible pain. I stood up, and yelled at the dragon “are you truly a former human, you who consorts with dogs, horses, and overgrown chickens”. The griffins near me angered at this but I whispered to them “I don’t mean it, I'm trying to make her angry”, upon saying this, they all started to move as far from me as possible. The dragon meanwhile looked at me and said “ha, who cares what they look like, as long as they satisfy my urges, now you shall be my next lover”, and with this she got up of the, now dead, diamond dog, and advanced menacingly towards me.

I called my sword, which formed in my hand and leapt at the dragon, expecting my heightened abilities to allow me to fight her, but I realised I was wrong when I found myself flying through the air, hit by the dragons claws. I got up immediately though, and arose from the ground. Running at the dragon who was trying to heard me into a corner of the cavern, I slashed at her arm, pirouetting to avoid claw strikes, hoping to cut her down, however I soon realised something more drastic was required. I clambered up her leg and using the sword clambered up her side, and hacked at her arm, meanwhile, Red was dive bombing her, distracting her. I hacked at her elbow joint, until finally I cleaved of her for arm, and she screamed in pain, I was soon covered in her blood, as the dragon bled out before me, I felt invigorated beyond belief, as I converted to a black dragon with crimson spikes, slightly shorter than six foot, with wings and a tail, It felt like the one time I had cocaine, (don’t ask), only a million times better. I immediately started licking at the wound, and looked around for a receptacle for the blood, soon finding a small gourd, which I filled to the brim with the glorious liquid.

Eventually though it became apparent that the other people in the room where shocked by my actions, however, none less so than a dapperly dressed man top hat suit, Italian leather boots and buddy holly glasses, smoking on a cigar with whiskey in hand, whom actually seemed quite amused by my actions, did I mention, he only had a skull for a face. I stared at this guy for quite some time, shocked by both his appearance, and the very fact of his existence, eventually, he strolled ( I mean where talking Leo’s happy walk here) over to me, and said “hey my might morphing motherfucker, Baron Samedis the name, death is the game, but you can call me Sam the man, you wouldn’t happen to know how, a vampire like yourself, came to be in the place, where I got told the bitches was at, cause right now I am seeing a distinct lack of bitches, and I think I’ve been buggered by some trickster god, son of a bitch, and her owner”. With this verbal tirade over he looked at me with his head half cocked, in an expecting manner “hubbazawha” I replied. Seemingly sated by this answer, he backed off while I converted back to my human form, and I got on top of the dragon and yelling as loudly as I could, “I require the service of a Pegasus or griffin, to teach me how to fly, the rest of you are free to go, except for Sam”, whom was at this present time playing with Red, catching him in his top hat and releasing him again. With this announcement, I found all but a injured griffin ran away from me, with the injured griffin stumbling of, but I just walked up to him, and tapped him, he looked around saw my blood covered self, and fainted, the last thing he probably heard was Sam saying “I'm not carrying him, bloody griffins are as heavy as my mother”.

I went out of the cave and found that during my time in the cave the moon had arisen so I left in search of a pool and bathed myself, removing the blood from my body, then returned to the cave where I found, Sam looking at the 5 headed dragon tattoo I had seen on the body of the pink dragon, while the griffin was bandaged with medical bandages Sam had found in a forgotten saddle bag, and Red was eating another cupcake, the origin of which I had not a clue. I walked up to the griffin, slipping into my griffin guise before approaching him upon seeing me he shuddered but remained standing and so I proceeded to ask him to teach me to fly, at which point I would take him to Appleloosa, he nodded his in agreement and introduced himself as “Astro” so I headed over to ask Sam what the fuck was going on.

Sam, looked at me as I approached, still smoking his cigar, he said “look man I don’t want to tell you what to do, but there are easier ways to tell a girl you don’t want to play hide the ham stick”, I just looked at him “just saying” he continued. I cleared my throat about to launch into a whole 5 w’s and a h scenario, when he started to talk “Hey man, I'm a Haitian voodoo god, if that’s what you wanted to know, I was asked by this fully hot chick in a bikers jacket, who walked up to me and was all like, I know a place you might like to go, there are many beautiful people there, and so I was all like sure, and then I found myself looking at you going to town on that dragons body”. “ I looked at him, and said “we are in Equestria, I'm a former Australian human, my name is Clash, my title is Lord of the Night, and I don’t really know what’s going on, but you seem to recognize that dragon mark, which I have seen twice in the last few days, both times, on insane people who have been brought to Equestria and changed into different creatures”. Baron Samedi looked at me and said “first mother loving thing first, Equestria, as in that show for kids, that a whole bunch of older dudes like, ( I nodded my head), and secondly, this mark I have seen before, it brings some bad Babylonian juju, it’s the mark of Tiamat, there chaos god, but she is really evil, like a complete smorgasbord of evil, and she can be human, or a five headed dragon”, he then skulled a tequila that he made appear out of thin air.

“Well, I guess I have to find her, and ask her to stop,” I said, slightly sarcastically. Sam looked at me and said the one thing I didn’t want him to “why?” “Because it is the right thing to do,” I replied, agreeing with my little angelic self, the devil self adding silently, “and also because the blood from her will be glorious”.

Upon deciding this I got my map out of my saddle bags, which I saw where actually slightly different to the ones I had as a Pegasus, and looked at the map, deciding that the area with the most strange occurrences was my best bet, and pointed this out to Sam, who then said “well considering I can’t die, I may as well tag along, who knows, maybe I’ll get to have some crazy interspecies sex, while we’re at it”. And so we ventured out of the cave and into the night, myself, Red, Sam and Astro.

If anyone’s wondering what map I'm using it’s this one by troutking

What Do You Do With A Drunken Loa?

Turns out, if one of your travelling companions can create any drug, ever, out of thin air, it is really, really easy to get distracted, especially when you had a little theory that you would no longer be affected by drugs, which turned out to be very, very wrong. I realised this as I found myself flying through the air after leaping on Astros, now healed, back, yelling, “High, Ho, Silver, away”, kicking him in the sides, and being bucked off. As I neared the tree I saw the recent events of my life fly before my eyes, and realised, that everything was pretty good, right at that particular moment, and then, I hit, the tree.

I awoke later, to a splitting headache, and very sore sides, lying in a small clearing, covered in my robe, which was good, as I realised it was now daytime, but then it occurred to me that none of my travelling companions would have known to cover me. I realised that they were around me, as I heard Astro and Sam talking; their conversation mainly concerned with how long they thought it was going to take for me to become awake. I groaned loudly, alerting them to my consciousness, and stood up, or at least tried to, at which point I found myself, being introduced, rather forcibly, to the ground, as I was overcome, with nausea. Eventually I did make it to my feet, and found that I could smell something, like the pollution smell, that I now knew meant humans, only much weaker, as if arising from a smaller source, I looked around sniffing, but apart from my companions, Sam, who melt like a wino mixed with the sulphur, Astro, who smelt like a chicken and a cat, and Red, who smelt like burning pine and cinnamon, none of which was anything like what I was smelling now. Finally I Sam something else, a snail, I looked at it for a moment, before walking over to it, and picking it up, I sniffed, and my suspicions where confirmed, this was the cause of the smell. I inspected the snail, looking for the dragon mark, but found that apart from a smudge that could or could not have been it, I saw nothing. So I dropped the snail and walked over to my acquaintances, whom were looking at me strangely. “Former human” I said, to which Sam just nodded his skull sagely, while Astro just looked damn confused, “I need to get out of this sun, regardless of cover or not I can feel it sapping my strength”, I continued then walked of in the direction of some nearby caves, using all of my senses to check my surroundings for enemies. Not finding any, I retired into the cave laying down I took my leave of the world, all the while wondering why I felt so sick, I’d had hangovers before, but this was something else.

I awoke what felt like a few hours later, rolled over and retched all over the floor of the cave, then arose, of the floor, one thought blocking all others from my mind, hunger. I sniffed the air, and smelt only one nearby candidate to sate me, so I ran over and leapt, about to drive my fangs into Astro’s helpless body, but found myself stopped by Sam grabbing my robe, so surprised by this, I calmed and turned, seeing Sam passing me the gourd of dragons blood I had collected earlier, I drank deeply drinking all of it, before I relaxed. Sam looked at me and said “don’t worry man, I understand, you got urges, but you really got to learn how to control yourself, or you’ll find yourself all alone, without some pretty girl to call your own, I was expecting something like this to happen, you vampires are all the same, but I understand, however we have to get rid of Astro as soon as possible”, I nodded and replied, “soon as he teaches me how to fly”. I then went over and woke up Astro, who had somehow remained asleep throughout the whole ordeal, and we set of in the direction of Appleloosa.

After a short while I converted to a griffin, and walked over to Astro, and said “it is time for you to teach me to fly,” he nodded, and began flapping his wings and told me to copy his every move. I saw that he was flapping with the use of his whole body rather than just moving his wings, like comparing full on sprinting with moving your arms back and forth, I copied him and soon found myself rising above the ground, at which point Red started flying in circles around me, ecstatic in the knowledge that he could now share the skies with his master, I flew around master swoops dives flips, flying upside down and sideways, all the while laughing with the pure thrill that this allowed me. I changed to my Pegasus shape and found the body mechanics where much the same as that of griffins, but when I changed to a dragon I found that it was very different, this was really a case of the wings just flapping and giving me lift.

I returned to the ground, changing shape and landing in a crouch in my human form, earning a clap from Sam, who had watched the whole procedure with a look of mild amusement on his face. I walked over and said “you know you’re just jealous” which caused him to smile, and then just start floating above the ground, and said “no I don’t think I'm quite as much as a virgin to this as you are, or in any other action, I am an ancient voodoo loa after all”, I was, needless to say, dumbfounded, and endeavoured to ask Sam just what he was.

This caused him to smile, and I instantly found myself with a cigar in one hand and a whiskey in the other, with Sam mirroring this. “Well, my blood sucking man, I am a collector, much like death, I collect spirits, but I also stop the undead, which is why I am so familiar with your particular brand of friendliness”, at which point his cane became a sword, which reassured me as I had been wondering if, apart from entertainment, he would be any use at all.

We wandered into Appleloosa, I was in human form, mainly because I would feel pretty bad if Sam had to be the only human, once we entered the city, Astro ran off, grumbling something about “drinking till he can’t remember anything”. Meanwhile, Sam and I decided to hit up a bar, him to see if he could find any mares or female buffalo interested in improving interspecies relations, and me to look for information about the Dragon Badlands, towards which we were headed. I didn’t exactly plan for the reaction of those in the bar however, I walked in and found myself surrounded by smiling happy faces, I felt kind of bad, as I had fully expected a little fear, because of my appearance, but found somebody thrusting a newspaper into my hand, which front page announced “strange creature kills horny dragon”, which I guess made for good news here. I was soon invited to a friendly game of poker, where myself, Braeburn (who I recalled from Over A Barrel), and a few other cowponies, but noticeably no other species was anywhere in the bar, so I assumed there must be a griffin bar somewhere. I found myself wondering where Sam had gotten to, and when I asked I was directed to a side room, which I found containing a dozen mares, and Sam, who was regaling them with tales of earth, while they all looked on in enthralled, I decided to leave him to it, and wandered over to a sheriff’s office, which I had been told, would be my best effort for finding out information, when I smelt a human. I wandered in and saw a dog, a large Irish wolfhound, a dog that had no business being in a frontier town, barking madly at me, while the sheriff was shouting at it to shut up. I cleared my throat, which caused the sheriff too turn around and notice me, he grinned and said “you must be the strange one who saved my cousin from, as he put it, a fate far worse than death, I assume your hear about the bounty”, I replied “no that won’t be necessary, I was just doing that for myself, I will however allow you to have it, in exchange for any information you might have on a five headed dragon, or any strange events you have heard of recently”, he nodded his head happily, and then said “well I have heard myths of a five headed dragon before, but I always thought they were fake, but pertaining to strange events, I can think of none stranger than this dog here, apparently he appeared out of thin air, and then started scratching equestrian words in the sand, something along the lines of “help me” or so I'm told”. I looked at him and said “so why’s he in jail then”, “well,” he replied “when nopony seemed to react to what he was writing, he began attacking people and dragging them over to read what he had written”.

While we had been chatting the dog shut up until I said “do you think I could take him of your hooves”, at which point, much to the sheriffs surprise, the dog started nodding fervently, so the sheriff said “yeah sure why not, you may as well, and he seems to like you”. With this he went over to the cell and unlocked the door, then the dog bounded over to me, and much to my surprise bowed, before walking out the door, I nodded my goodbye to the sheriff and left, where I saw the dog scratching into the sand “oh thank god, I thought I was the only human, please tell me you know the way to new york”, I smiled, and said “sorry buddy, close, but know cigar, you see I'm a vampire, and we are in Equestria” he looked at me in askance, then wrote “Equestria?” , I face palmed at that, of course he wasn’t a brony, so I elaborated, explaining that we were in a different dimension, where myths were real. I then asked him how he had come to be in Appleloosa, to which he wrote, “I think I pissed of the wrong guy, I’m Hunter Robinson, by the way ”, I smiled laughed, and said, “well I'm your master now, the names Clash, come on we got to go get my friend, and then defeat a deity of evil”. I wandered off in the direction of the tavern, fully expecting to see what I saw, Sam lying on his ass outside of the joint, having been to forward with the females he so coveted, and forcibly removed by his partners. He smiled and got up, brushing dirt of his suit and said “damn virgins, always the same, no matter what the species, who’s the dog” looking at Hunter, who had fainted on seeing Sam. “He is Hunter, I found him in the jail, and he used to be a human” I explained. Only then did I realise the sun was rising, so I went to a nearby hotel, rented a room, told Sam and Hunter that I would see them in the evening and that they should look out for each other, and went to sleep.

I awoke to Red pecking at me, trying to wake me, once he succeeded he flew to the roof, fully expecting me to try to kill him, this I did for a minute before realising that there were others in the room. I saw the sheriff I had met the night before, looking angrily at me, I rolled over and got up, asking “what did I do”, “it’s not what you did, but what your companions did,” he replied “after you went to bed, they attended an illegal dog fight, where the dog I released into your custody last night beat the reigning champion, this caused a full scale riot, which I have just spent the last our cleaning up”, I looked around the rest of the room trying to clear my head, before realising that it would probably be a good idea to get the hell out of Appleloosa. “Were are they now” I asked, unsurprised with his answer of “jail”, “what do you want” knowing that I was probably looking at a bribe of some sort, and was quite happy when he said “for you to leave”, telling me to do exactly what I had been planning.

I retrieved my friends from the jail, where I saw Sam talking to Hunter, explaining how he had trounced his opponent too easily, while the dog just looked sheepishly at the floor. Red flew around Hunter’s head alerting them to my presence, “it’s time to go” I announced, feigning anger while really just wanting to laugh at the absurdity of the situation.

We left Appleloosa, after getting supplies, which mainly considered of things for Hunter, such as some armour we had gotten made by a griffin smith, and food and water, the rest of us not requiring it, Red had his cupcakes, the origin of which I decided was probably somehow Pinkie Pie, I drank blood, and Sam, I was at this point fairly sure, was a complete skeleton under his clothes, and hence, would not require sustenance.

I had been looking at the map while Hunter was fitted, and began thinking that whatever sustenance changelings might get from me or Sam would probably be pretty bad. So I had decided that we should travel through Gem Fido, to get to the Dragon Badlands. I chose this rather than going along the river because, I figured that, as diamond dogs were subterranean creatures, I would be able to travel underground for a large part of the journey, through their tunnels, figuring I would be allowed passage, being that I was totally aware of the fact that I and my companions painted quite a scary picture to those that saw us. As in, the 6 foot 4 vampire, dressed in armour, a gentleman skeleton, of about 6, a huge dog, now in battle armour, and a phoenix, all of which were exceedingly rare, or one of a kind beings, I figured that, if diamond dogs were scared by Rarity, they would just let me do whatever the bloody hell I wanted. Oh how wrong I was.

As we walked along the outskirts of the Everfree forest, it occurred to me that I had no idea why Hunter was with us, he owed me know dues, and I assumed that he was mortal, I asked him to which he wrote “I am also aware of this, and I think, that when I was turned into a dog, I also earned the mannerisms of dog, like their loyalty and their want to pee on trees, and you, as my rescuer, appear to be what I have given my loyalty to, although as of yet I have managed to keep my urinary urges under control, the loyalty I feel is much stronger, and so I accompany you”. To say the least, I was surprised by the deepness of this, he noticed this and wrote “I was a psychiatrist on earth”, I nodded and then decided to ask him what he remembered of how he got to Equestria. He wrote, “the last thing I remember is a new patient I had, whom seemed to believe that she was a god, I was making good progress with her until someone entered the room, I shouted at them to get out, as I distinctly remember them to seem threatening to me, and then I woke up with four legs in this alternate dimension”.

We continued for the rest of the evening, with us stopping for dinner at about 1 am, I went hunting finding a wild boar, and draining its body of blood, after being changed to a hog and then turning back into a human again, I caught another, and then drained that boars blood into a large bottle I had brought with me, deciding that I would always have blood on me, lest what almost happened with Astro actually happen with Hunter. I found that their where many caves along the road we travelled, and so myself and my companions became nocturnal, travelling at night and sleeping during the day.

We walked for a week in this manner, rarely having to do anything, and so we swapped stories, Sam was by far the best story teller, telling us tails of others deities he had met, and adventures that he had with them, as well as numerous jokes, but myself and Hunter did manage to tell our life stories, as well as a significant chunk of what was in my case, a made up life story. I also convinced Sam to help me with learning to fight in many forms, but I soon found that I was by far best at being a human, however if the need to fly arose, I was best at being a dragon as, apart from the wings and tail, their physiology was very similar to a humans, at least, my dragon form was.

When we reached Gem Fido, it was almost immediately apparent, with the scenery darking perceptively and everything taking on a much more sinister appearance. I smelt for dogs, along with the help of Hunter whose nose, I found, was actually slightly better than mine, and in no time we found a large tunnel, guarded by two diamond dogs. I decide a direct approach was what was in order, so I walked up to them and said “good morning, I was just wondering if you could tell me where this tunnel leads, as I'm trying to reach the dragon badlands, and I needs to stay out of the sun” needless to say, they probably would have been less shocked if I had said something in Chinese, one of the other languages I know. I was somewhat miffed however when they took on an aggressive stance and the larger of the two said “you, whatever you are, come with us now, the alpha will know what to with you”, I nodded assuming that this alpha would point me on my way, and so I called my friends who walked up having decided to wait behind some large trees, the guards stepped back at this and ran off, scared I assumed, because of the afore mentioned appearance of my group.

We walked down the tunnel, hoping to run into this alpha that had been mentioned, when I realised that none of us really knew how Equestria worked, and I decided that we should have at least tried to convince Astro to join us, but, we didn’t and there was no point in lamenting now, so we ventured further into the tunnel, not expecting what we saw. We entered a large cavern, filled to the brim with ponies on chains, whom were being hounded, by the diamond dogs, (did I really just think that), but regardless, it appeared that, much to my chagrin, there was slavery occurring here, which I just could not stand, so I walked up to the nearest diamond dog, who had yet to notice us, so concentrated where they on the ponies they were watching.

“Hello” I said, and immediately found myself looking at a spear which was sticking through my body. I decided this was annoying, and so called my sword and chopped of the diamond dog’s head, I soon recalled that the other diamond dogs would take offense at this, and so ran back to my team, who had been watching the events, unfold before them. Truth be told, I was somewhat surprised to find Sam dressed in armour similar to mine, with a sword in one hand and a shield in the other, seething with anger, but realised, that as a Haitian god, whose people had been enslaved, he would be very against what was occurring here. We gathered together in a group, 20 diamond dogs advancing towards us, their captives watching on, nervously.

Sam was the first to strike, leaping at the head diamond dog, before attacking the rest, who tried to perform a pile on, but soon found he was more than a match for them, striking them down without breaking a sweat, their movements creating a huge cloud. Once this cloud cleared it showed Sam, standing surrounded by the bodies of dead dogs, again dressed in his suit, as if nothing had happened, he then walked over and began unlocking the chained ponies and griffins, whom ran away from us in fear, scared of something that could defeat that many diamond dogs by himself. I walked over and said “wow, you really don’t like slavers do you”, “you could say that” he replied.

I then heard a shout, and found myself being hit with a tube, I then found Hunter falling to the ground beside me, while another group of diamond dogs looked on expectantly, and I assume wanting me to do the same. They were very annoyed when I did not, and instead began walking over to them, as I thought they had just poisoned, and possibly killed, Hunter, so was very angry, I walked up to the dog, who was seemingly less of a mongrel than those surrounding him, and looked more like an anthropomorphic pedigree Jack Russell. As I advanced he retreated, while his underlings, as I now realised, he was the alpha, watched on in mute fascination. I kept stepping towards him slowly, until he backed into a corner, and I hit him, hard, he hit the wall behind him and collapsed to the floor, unconscious, I turned around and found the rest of the diamond dogs had run off.

Sam, meanwhile, had finished unlocking the captives, who I now saw, consisted of mainly ponies, but also a few griffins, and was currently, slapping Hunter’s snout, trying to wake, his, as I now realised, sleeping body. I tuned to my backpack, and pulled out the bottle of blood, and drank it all, my spear wound healing instantly, I breathed in trying to relax, when something hit me, not physically, but mentally, I could not hear my heartbeat. I placed my hand on my chest, and pressed, feeling nothing.

Sam saw this, and said “I told you man, you’re dead, its why I know your kind so well, I used to be able to create a type of vampire, because I'm the Haitian Loa of the dead, your body is dead, your being animated by fresh intake of genetic material, it’s as simple as that”, I knew this, but I hadn’t really realised what it meant. The fact that I was basically a zombie was hard to take, but I thought, I would just have to get over it.

I advanced towards the freed captives, who cowered in fear, I was annoyed when I saw children among them, but decided those who were responsible had already suffered retribution, and said “good evening, ponies and griffins alike, I bring nothing but good tidings, and hope that you will allow me to point the way to Appleloosa, the nearest pony settlement, I would ask only that you could inform me of where I might find a map of these tunnels”, they pointed to a nearby alcove, which I saw was filled with gems, and had a large map, which somewhat reminded me of a map of the London underground I had once seen, placed upon the wall.

The map showed that, if we headed along a corridor, just up ahead, I would eventually find myself in the Dragon Badlands. I turned around to point this out to Sam, and saw that Hunter had awoken, and so I pointed it out to my companions, and we ventured of, with a goodbye to the animals we just freed, who stared after us as we walked off. Red flew ahead of us, lighting the way.

Alright, first time actually commenting at the end of a chapter, just wondering what you guys think, and if any of you are artists, do you reckon you can do better than me?