The Secret Life of... Rainbow Dash

by Dreadnought

Rating: everyone
Tags: Big Macintosh, Adventure, Cranky Doodle Donkey, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Rainbow Dash, Original Character, Mystery, Comedy
Length: 1712

What secret is Rainbow Dash keeping from her friends?

Rainbow Dash has a secret that she keeps from her friends. If caught, she could end up in prison. What could it be?
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Not related to any other stories I've written.
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Thanks to Son Elec for and JackRipper for helping to improve this story.
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The cover art comes from the Spike At Your Service episode of My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic.
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My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic and all related content is owned by Hasbro. CYA.

Published 2017-04-08 17:50:01 UTC
Last updated 2017-04-08 17:50:01 UTC

Chapter 1

The Secret Life of... Rainbow Dash

In the west Celestia’s sun slowly descended towards the far horizon, the color changing from a blinding gold to a beautiful, fiery red. Within an hour, the sun would set beyond the distant hills and day would surrender to darkness. In the east Luna would raise her magnificent moon to reign over the night.

Below stretched the Everfree Forest, an unexplored wilderness that sheltered unknown secrets. The primeval trees grew wild, with great roots sinking deep into the ground while branches tangled and sparred with those of neighboring trees, forming a dense interwoven canopy that was all but impenetrable in most places. Heavy vines hung lazily from trees while brambles of thickets and poisonous flowers filled the ground. Unpredictable mists appeared out of nowhere, blanketing the forest in thick, eerie shrouds. All of this concealed the many mysteries hidden in its vast expanse. At the very heart of the forest lay a long-forgotten castle. Once a soaring symbol of hope and harmony, its crumbling walls and abandoned halls now lay as an ominous warning of the dangers posed by corruption and madness. Deadly creatures roamed the woods, guarding the ancient ruins. Cockatrices threatened to stare into the eyes of unsuspecting ponies, turning them to statues of solid stone. Ferocious manticores lurked among the trees, their hulking forms disappearing into the mists as quickly as they appeared. And vicious timberwolves, their howls turning a pony’s blood cold, stalked from the shadows, ready to descend upon their prey with a speed and savagery unequaled by any other beast of the forest.

A black pegasus streaked over the Everfree Forest. Hugging the terrain, the pegasus banked rapidly from side to side, weaving among the tops of the trees whose branches threatened to snarl and entrap them. Flying mere feet from disaster, one false move would send the pegasus to the hospital... or morgue. Still they raced, with a speed and agility almost unmatched in the land.

A cloud bank floated high above the forest, the reddish color reflecting the setting sun. Through a narrow slit poked a pair of binoculars, carefully scanning the ground below. Slowly it moved back and forth, up and down, in a well-practiced pattern. Looking down towards the right, the binoculars stopped its scan and fixed on a black blur streaking among the treetops. Quickly a white pegasus stood up from behind the cloud bank, his fedora low over his brow and his trench coat pulled tight over his frame. He leapt from the cloud and plunged downwards towards his target.

The black pegasus zipped among the treetops. Suddenly something caught their attention, a distant, formless mass. In an instant, the small shape unfurled its wings and banked towards them at incredible speed. The black pegasus quickly ran through a variety of options. Turn around and pray to Celestia that they could outrun the white pegasus? Continue straight ahead and hope to make it to the destination before the authorities could catch them? Attempt to enter the forest through a hole in the dense canopy and hide out? No! The black pegasus turned straight towards the white pegasus and accelerated at breakneck speed. The distance closed rapidly, each figure growing larger in the other’s field of view. Within moments the two would strike in a deadly collision. At the last second the white pegasus pulled up, allowing the black pegasus to slip underneath him.

The white pegasus banked hard and entered a tight turn. Straining his neck, he located his fugitive flying over the forest to the small town of Ponyville in the distance. The black pegasus rapidly widened the distance between the two. Coming around, the white pegasus accelerated to catch up with his fugitive, pushing himself to close the distance. It was hard – the fugitive was quick and possessed quite a long lead. Still, the fugitive would face justice for their crimes!

The fugitive glanced behind to see the white pegasus slowly closing. However, Ponyville lay just ahead, offering refuge and safety. Looking forward, the fugitive was shocked to see two more pegasi closing, one red and one blue, but both wearing fedoras and trench coats. Banking hard to the left, the fugitive turned to avoid capture. Glancing back over their shoulder, the fugitive could see the white pegasus moving to intercept. The fugitive headed towards a small farm complex in the distance.

The three uniformed pegasi closed quickly, flying right behind their quarry. The fugitive strained to keep ahead and located a large red barn among the farm buildings. Swooping down, the fugitive flew straight through the open door and towards the far side, whose door lay firmly shut. At the last possible second the fugitive climbed and wrapped their wings tightly around their body, smashing through the second story window and bursting into clear skies. An instant later came the distinct thuds of the authorities crashing into the closed barn door. The fugitive chuckled, but the sense of relief lasted for only a moment as they saw the white pegasus swooping in from the right. Quickly the fugitive plunged down to avoid capture and leveled off just feet above the ground. The fugitive turned towards Ponyville and laid on a burst of speed, the solitary officer in hot pursuit.

The fugitive reached town first and began desperately trying to lose the white pegasus. The fugitive weaved among the buildings, flying down narrow twisting alleys. Still the stallion was on their tail, refusing to give up the chase. Finally the fugitive turned a corner. The white pegasus followed and crashed face first into a large banner strung across the street. Struggling to get free, the officer only managed to become more entangled until he hung upside down, with just a moment to glimpse the fugitive vanishing among the buildings. “Somepony get me down!” he bellowed.

A few minutes later the black pegasus landed in a small clearing not far from town. In front stood a small house, with a green gabled roof and vines growing around the doorframe. Stepping forward, the pegasus knocked on the door. After a short wait, it slowly opened to reveal a brown donkey wearing a blond toupee. He peered into the solid black eyes of the pegasus before gruffly demanding, “What do you want?”

“It’s me,” replied the pegasus.

“Who?” asked a skeptical Cranky.

“Oh, I forgot.” The pegasus reached up and removed a golden amulet from around their neck. Slowly the eyes transformed to magenta, the feathers turned blue, and a bright rainbow-colored mane and tail emerged from under the black. Reaching into a saddlebag, Rainbow Dash brought forth a silver flask that she handed to Cranky.

Cranky unscrewed the cap and took a deep swig, a smile growing across his sullen face. “Ah kid, that’s the stuff.” Taking another sip, his smile grew larger. “I remember a time when alcohol was legal... before the world went crazy. Here.” He reached over to a small wooden table and grabbed a bag, which he tossed to Rainbow Dash.

Jingling the bag, she made sure it was filled with bits. “So, should I put you down for next week?”

“Better make it two,” answered the donkey.

“Will do,” replied Rainbow Dash as she turned to leave.

“I look forward to it,” retorted Cranky.

Rainbow Dash headed back towards the Everfree Forest. Normally she would fly to her destination, but with the authorities increasing their patrols of the skies around Ponyville, she judged it would be best to just walk. Trotting to the edge of the woods, she saw a thick mist covering the ground, warning of the hidden dangers. Without hesitation, she stepped into the forest and disappeared....

Rainbow Dash slowly hiked through the wilderness, the dense trees and thick underbrush making the going slow. Not walking along a trail, one might think her lost. But Rainbow Dash was far from lost, instead following a set of hidden marks and clues that guided her deeper into the dark forest. After half an hour she came upon a gorge, filled with darkness as the setting sun yielded to an evening twilight. Carefully making her way down the steep side, she reached the bottom of the chasm and turned towards a small cave opening. She climbed over some large rocks and squeezed through a narrow crevice, entering the cavern. The faint light reflecting off the wet walls led her to a large chamber. A big copper still occupied much of the room, with a pipe running up to a natural hole in the ceiling.

“There ya are Dash,” came a familiar voice.

“Mac!” greeted Rainbow.

“How’d the delivery go?” queried Big Mac.

“The G-Stallions have patrols all over the place now.”

Big Mac’s face darkened. “If ya want out, Ah understand.”

“No way! You need the money to keep the farm going.”

“Ya know the Wonderbolts will throw ya out if’n ya caught bootlegging,” he stated firmly.

“They can’t arrest what they can’t catch,” boasted a proud Rainbow Dash. “Besides, bootlegging has its benefits.”

“Such as?” prodded Big Mac.

“For starters, I get a much better workout than I do with the Wonderbolts. Second, there’s the bits,” she said, tossing the bag over to Big Mac.

“Anythin’ else?”

“Yeah, there’s this.” Rainbow Dash walked up to Big Mac and planted a kiss on his lips, the two sharing a long passionate moment before slowly pulling away.

“That there’s a pretty good reason,” he said.

Rainbow Dash smiled. “Eeyup.”

Author's Note

Good Morning...

Well, actually not. I tried registering for ComicCon, but by the time I got to the registration page, all the badges had been sold out (Yeah, you too?). I'm pretty bummed out. Like, really bummed out. I've never been, but it sounded like a lot of fun. So I decided to publish a story as I'm sitting here watching Die Hard. Alan Rickman plays one of the best villains of all time. But I digress. Maybe publishing this story will pull me out of malaise. Or I should go see a movie. Logan is a cheery, upbeat film, right? Or Ghost in the Shell? Please consider leaving feedback so that I can improve as an author.

Oh well, maybe next year...

Dreadnought