
Grave Matters
The Canterlot Cemetery caretaker would honestly prefer for the dead to stay dead!
Meet Ditch.
Ditch is the caretaker at the Canterlot Cemetery. He lives a calm life involving digging, burying, seldom... well, occasional... alright, habitual drinking, and generally managing the place and its residents to the best of his abilities.
Ditch enjoys his job. The salary is not enough to live, but sufficient not to die, the graveyard shifts are not graveyard shifts, and the clients are calm and docile, even if a little bit stiff. Canterlot ponies, right? But Ditch does not mind. They don’t complain and loyally catch some due rest.
Except for when they suddenly don’t.

26557 words: Estimated about 2 hours to read
9 Chapters:
- Chapter I – Start Dead 2017-03-17 23:00:48 UTC2756
- Chapter II – Dead Pony Walking 2017-08-08 23:00:47 UTC2603
- Chapter III – Dead Issue 2017-09-20 21:42:33 UTC2854
- Chapter IV – Play Dead 2018-08-14 19:37:30 UTC2318
- Chapter V – Better Off Dead 2021-01-29 20:26:05 UTC3441
- Chapter VI – Dead to Rights 2021-08-04 19:35:18 UTC2439
- Chapter VII – Over Her Dead Body 2021-09-28 16:45:17 UTC3324
- Chapter VIII – Beat a Dead Pony 2021-11-23 19:45:49 UTC3250
- Chapter IX – Fit to Wake the Dead 2023-01-31 18:30:03 UTC3572