Chapter 1. Swiggity Swoogy Explosion in my Booty
Chapter One: Swiggity Swoogy Explosion in my Booty
By: The One and Only Fedora Master
Red, The color that was pooling around me. A bright light flickering and and dancing. I felt the need to clear my throat but when I did more of the red came. The colors started to fade as well as the lights.... Where am I?
THUD
Earlier that day...
"God dawnit" I mumbled through the cap of the most refreshing drink in the world, Coca Cola "Son of a botch" I was struggling to open this damn coca cola bottle. I took it out a my mouth and cursed under my breath. "Damn cap, why is there a cap why couldn't it be like a damn Capri Sun" I growled I gave up on trying to open it and put it into my book bag, "I will drink you later" I threatened, pointing at the bottle accusingly as it sank into my book bag to hide its shame. As I walked quietly an obnoxious voice appeared out of no where "Hey Dick head" Said a voice, I immediately recognized the voice. "Fuck you too Josh" I replied as my friend, josh ran to my side. To describe Josh he was Built like a wall as he's really tough he had this hair cut where he had it short on the sides long on top I thought it look good, so did other girls "So how's your day going?" He was trying to strike up a conversation "Nothing much, just same old same old." I replied. "Hey there's this new ice cream shop that just opened its a couple blocks away, wanna go and see how its rocking?" He suggested "Sure why not don't have anything better to do" I replied.
As we were walking our silent friend Dustin who wore this gray jacket almost all the damn time and had the hair where it was short enough to expose his giant forehead and short on the sides, he slouched a lot, oh and did I mention he doesn't talk? "We're heading down to this new ice cream shop wanna come with?" I asked He just shrugged his shoulders but I knew it was a yes "Alright, let's go, also my treat" I said as we got into my car. It was just a convertible white too it looked good but was a pain in the ass to clean. Josh and Dustin had to rock paper scissors who gets to sit in the front it was kinda childish but hey it was our system. I started up my car taking off the roof of the car as it was near 90 degrees basically it was fucking hot and was one of the reasons I agreed to go to this ice cream shop. We started to get out of our schools parking lot and we were on the road. We drove through intersection after intersection I was surprised at how many intersections were so close to each other but got used to it overtime. "Hey Nick" Josh spoke up "look at those chicks over there," he pointed to some good looking girls walking across the street "Damn I'd smash." I just chuckled at his antics "you wish you could hit that, but that girls mom probably said not to choke on small things ." i joked which resaulted him playfully shoving me "Fuck you, hey look that's the place" he pointed towards a bulidng on our right I read the sign it had read 'Cold Stone' I started to turn and parked my car near the sidewalk to the place. I started to close the roof then we all got out. And Of course locking it.
We were greeted by the cashiers as we walked in. I look at their menu and immediately chose French vanilla as I loved French vanilla and Josh got a mint chocolate chip and Dustin got chocolate. I had to pull what he wanted out of him as he doesn't speak at all. We sat down at one of their tables it was not incredibly popular but still had a few people in it.
"Hey did you guys see the news last night?" Josh said
"Yea terrorist attacks in close cities to ours. I just hope one doesn't happen here." I replied
"The probability of that happening is low so-" he was cut off as the lady called our orders up and we left some tips and walked out "Damn that fast?" Josh said "Its not hard to scoop up some ice cream then put it in a paper bowl." I countered "but still." He said giving up to say anything further. "Hey dude do you still have my game?" Josh asked "oh yea I forgot to hand it to you a while ago." I opened my book bag glaring at the coca cola taking out the game and handing it to him.
BOOM!!!!
A invisible forced me off my feet and hit a pillar along with the force came heat, my friends did not fare better than me as josh fell flat on his back and head knocking him out instantly, and Dustin flew I to the windows store shattering it and landing into the store. Debris from the explosion went flying everywhere a piece of steel from the tanker that exploded struck my chest "Fuck" I groaned as the pain the steel plate now sticking out a my chest. Blood started to pour out of me as I tried to keep my insides from becoming outsides. I lost focus on everything else. My parents. My girlfriend. My friends. All the things I love in this world, I was starting to lose grip on those. I laid the concrete floor my blood pooling around me i had forgotten where i am
"Good bye" I whispered to no one desperate someone would hear me and tell my family my last words.
"Good bye..."
I laid in a empty void. I was laying on nothing like I was floating on a air. But then I felt the pressure bellow me disappear. "AHHHH! Fuck!" I fell into a wooden floor adrenaline kicking in I got up quickly in a fighting stance but I felt sudden warmth and relaxed and saw I was looking at a wall full of books and cabinet seemed to be filled with what look like files upon files Labeled A to Z, a fireplace too, why people put a fireplace next to things that could get on fire easily Is something I'll never understand that. "A newcomer, well hello and welcome to the afterlife" a voice said I spun around looking for the source of the voice to meet a face I jumped in surprise from how close she was, and I could tell it was a she from the long hair and the feminine voice. "Where am I?" I asked the lady "I had just told your in the afterlife."
"So I'm dead?" I spoke "yup " she said in a chipper tone "but now you're reborned" she said again "I'm a what now?" I said confused as to what she said "bu- AHHHHHHHHH!!!" the solid floor i was standing on, turns Into thin air and I fell through and then suddenly i found myself falling from the fucking sky into a clouds expecting to land on one of them instead falling through while screaming I think whoever heard that must've though a school girl just met a fucking guy from a boy band in person. a forest appeared below me as I passed through the clouds. "HOOOOOOOLLLLLYYYYY SSSSSHHHHIIIIITTTTTTTT!!!!" I yelled before I made impact with the forest floor. that impact knocked me out for good I was definitely feeling that when I wake up.
