What am I doing here?
Fancy pants was scanning the ballroom’s decorations at loose ends. They weren’t unusual for this sort of event even if they were a bit tawdry for his taste.
All around him, ponies were enjoying themselves, chatting or dancing. Every so often, two of them, sometimes three, would hide, either behind the huge window curtains, or behind one of the statues, which seemed to have been placed at convenient locations near the corners. It was easy to guess what they intended to do there. Considering how the party was turning out, Fancy Pants thought it was just a matter of minutes before common sense and social convention broke down and the ball morphed into something his mind baulked to fancy.
Why am I here? It’s not like if my absence would be noticed…
The invitation card had been clear: nopony was supposed to be able to recognise anypony else. And while he hadn’t managed to identify any of his friends, or any of the ponies that usually took part in royal parties, he sensed that he had been recognised. And it had happened despite the garment that covered his body and the mask that concealed his face.
Engrossed in thought he didn’t notice a stallion coming from behind, and started when he felt the other’s unexpected hug.
“Hey, big boy,” said the intruder, slurring. “Want a good time?”
“I'm afraid I must decline your offer... sir,” Fancy Pants answered with all the calm he could muster, trying to get his nose away from the other’s offensive breath.
“You’re no fun!” the stallion grunted before letting him go. Fancy Pants watched him tottering to the buffet. On any other occasion the guy wouldn’t have got away like that. Unfortunately this was a masked ball, and Fancy Pants felt as confused as he did all those years ago during his graduation party.
Perhaps I should follow suit. I might be able to blend in after a drink or two.
He giggled at the ludicrous thought, but set out for the buffet just the same. He had mused enough admiring the decor.
Okay Fancy, it’s time for you to start socializing.
“Pardon me, milady,” he said to the mare to his left, clad in a surprisingly brown drab gown and wearing a patched hat of the same colour. “Which one of those fine wines would you recommend?”
She scrutinised him silently for a few seconds. Fancy Pants wondered if he’d spoken loud enough to overcome the ambient music. He was about to repeat his question when the blue-eyed mare burst into laughter. He stayed put, looking at her guffawing, her teeth as white as her muzzle. He wondered why his words had caused such a hilarity but, unfortunately, the mare didn’t answer, not even after her laughter had subsided. Instead, she trotted away leaving Fancy Pants prey to a weird feeling of awkwardness.
I’ve heard this high-pitched laugh before, he thought, though he couldn’t place it.Ugh! If we could drop the masks it would be so much easier for everypony, especially for me!
Left without clear directions Fancy Pants decided to, for the first time in his life, let fate guide his decision and take a wine at random. That turned out to be more difficult than he’d expected: each time he was about to pick a glass, his brain would protest and stop his hoof midways. At last, though, he made up his mind and took a sip from one of the tumblers.
Pretty good, he thought. A little raspy at first, but then the bouquet kicks in and the aftertaste is quite sweet. Excellent pick for my next garden party.
Using his magic, he grabbed the bottle that stood close to the glass and examined its label. His left eye twitched when he realised the brand had been blotted out. He was torn between screaming, laughing or crying. Before he could even decide—
“So what do you think of this little revelry, sir?”
Fancy Pants turned to face the pony who’d just spoken. A horn poking from the mask meant she was a unicorn. Nothing else was revealed. She wore a stunning navy blue gown that hid her cutie mark.
“I must say I’m a little… confused,” Fancy Pants replied, putting the bottle back on the table.
“Confused? What could possibly confuse you?” the mare inquired.
“How can I explain?” he sighed. His eyes wandered over the room. He winced at the sight of a pony puking in a bucket and tried to return his focus on the conversation. “I’ve been told that our national heroes, the Element Bearers, would be joining us tonight and yet I’ve not been able to recognise even a single one of them. I’d expected them to stand out as they did during the last Grand Galloping Gala, especially miss Pie, but so far they’ve foiled my expectations!”
“So?” she replied giggling. “I’m sure they enjoy not being in the centre stage tonight. Unlike our dear prince…” she spat out, cocking her head towards the only stallion that could not be mistaken, since he wore no mask.
“Ha! Prince Blueblood has never been able to resist a chance to be in the spotlight,” Fancy Pants said. “And I would have been surprised if he'd acted differently tonight. I understand him, in a way.”
“You must be the only one then,” she said, tilting her head to one side.
“Maybe-” Fancy Pants looked away, a bit ashamed and sighed once again “-I must confess I considered dropping the mask too.”
“You would be missing the point of this party then.”
A cry, between a laugh and a moan, echoed through the room and made Fancy Pants’ ears twitched.
“I’ve missed it since the beginning,” he groaned, his eyes still away from her. “I don’t know what Princess Luna was thinking when she planned this soirée but she may have been out of her mind at that time.”
“Maybe she’s gone crazy and she’s on the verge to become Nightmare Moon again,” said the unknown mare.
He heard a trace of sarcasm in her tone and hung his head. “I apologize, that was uncalled and rude of me to simply vent like a spoiled foal and insult one of our beloved rulers.”
“You don’t get it!” she jeered. “You were about to but I see that old habits are hard to lose for you.”
“I don’t understand.”
“Look at the crowd and tell me what you see, here lies your answer.”
Fancy Pants complied and looked disdainfully at the crowd of ponies. He saw his kind throwing themselves headlong into the party, dancing, drinking and acting as if there weren’t rules anymore.
“I see ponies who have forgotten how to behave.”
“And do you know why?” she asked, her mocking smile still shining.
“Isn’t it because they don’t fear the consequences of their actions? But what’s the point?”
Like the other mare, she burst into laughter. However, she didn’t leave him hanging long.
“The point is to be somepony else!” she said between giggles. “Aren’t you ever tired of always being what you are expected to be?”
“I’ve never really thought about it. Without false modesty, I see myself as an important pony, the 'creme de la creme' as one of my very good friends would say. So I'm used to be recognized and to recognize who I'm interacting with. I know who they are, I know their rank and their privileges and thus, I know exactly how I am supposed to act. Right now, without all those bearings, I have to admit that I feel a bit... lost,” he whispered.
“So you should take this as an opportunity to act however you want! I believe that's what Princess Luna had in mind when she planned this soirée. Isn't that thrilling?” she asked, her eyes glistening with mischief. “You could act like a complete lout in front of one of the Princesses and never know it!”
“That would be uncouth. Moreover, I think it would require a few more drinks to not be able to recognize our beloved rulers.The fact they are taller than anypony else may not help them to remain anonymous.”
“Don't you know they can shapeshift their appearance?”
“I- I didn't know but I think I see where you're going. I suppose I just need some time to learn how I should behave, or better, how I should not behave at all.”
“Maybe a dance will help you to relax,” she suggested.
“I don't know,” he whispered, “But I would be honored to be your partner,” he quickly added with a smile.
The mare lent a hoof. “Are you familiar with waltzing?”
“I would be a substandard aristocrat if I wasn't,” he said putting his hoof in hers.
They walked to the dance area. The mare stood on two legs and waited for Fancy Pants who followed soon, putting one of his foreleg on her flank and the other joining Luna’s hoof on his right.
“And remember,” she whispered to his ear, “you're nopony tonight.”
She grabbed and led him in a wild waltz. She was strong for a mare her size and he could only let himself be guided by her hooves and gaze at the her beautiful green eyes. Whoever this mare was, she mesmerized him; he felt that ,at the moment, wherever she went, he would follow her without question or doubt. His frustration with the strange party faded with each waltz they danced to be replaced by a feeling of release he had never felt before. And by the end of the fifth dance, he had lost every inch of guilt holding him up.
So he dared to kiss her.
It was an innocent kiss, a light touch of lips and when he opened his eyes, he saw the mare smiling.
“Now you got it.”
Fancy Pants’ waking was painful. He felt like the entire Moon had fallen on his head. He slowly tilted his head to watch the clock which was mockingly displaying a two followed by a pair of zero. A quick look to the window and the bright light coming from it told him it was late in the day. The last time he had drunk that much was when he had celebrated his coming of age.
And I had promised myself “never again”.
He rose from his bed and aimed towards the only thing he knew could ease his headache a little: a freezing shower. He stared at the tap, not knowing if he willingly wanted to inflict this to himself, but a new twinge inside his head solved it.
Even if it was hard at the beginning, he had to admit its effectiveness; most of the pain died in a minute and that gave him some time to remember the night before. It was a bit blurry but one thing he could perfectly recall was the mare’s smiles. A smile promising a moment of eternity.
He shook his head under the shower.
Come on Fancy, you’re starting to get sappy.
After he had dried his coat and his mane, he came back to his room. Since he had taken care of the mess that was his body, it was time to take care of the mess that was his room, the only place where not a single servant were allowed. With his magic, he grabbed the suit he had worn last night.
You’ve won a visit to the dry cleaner’s you dirty one.
He giggles at his own joke and went for the door. He stopped as he saw something gently falling from one of the pocket. He focused his magic on it, holding it close to his eyes to inspect it. It was simply a deep bluefeather so he put it aside.
Hold on; a blue feather?
It took him a moment to understand whom this feather could belong to and what it meant. Aside from the mare, he couldn’t remember another pony of this colour. And even if there were, he hadn’t been as physically close as he was with her than with them. When his brain, slowed by tiredness and alcohol, finally caught the only meaning this feather involved, he felt his heart plummeted to the pit of his stomach.
Oh no! Oh no! Oh nonononono!
He paced in circles, his breath becoming shorter and shorter, his heartbeat quicker and stronger.
I-I kissed a Princess! I kissed a goddess! Oh no!
He stopped his furious race, chewing on his hoof.
Maybe I should pretend it never happens? That could do it! Yes, that would probably do it. But what if she’s recognized me? I’m sure she knew it was me!
Then he remembered Fleur Dis Lee. This time, it was all of Equestria he felt falling on him. He dropped to the floor, hiding his head between his legs.
She must never heard about this! But how? Maybe I should go straight see the princess and apologize. Yeah, I’ll see her and tell her I didn’t know it was her. She’ll certainly forgive me! And my sweetheart will never hear about it!
He quickly put on a clean suit and galloped as fast as he could towards the castle where he found Princess Celestia alone, holding court.
“Mister Fancy Pants!” she warmly greeted. “It’s always a pleasure to welcome you here. Let me finish with Miss Lilac and I’m all yours.”
That let Fancy Pants catch his breath and gave him some time to think about what he would say to the Princess.
“So what brings you here?” asked Celestia before he could be prepared. “I must say I’m a bit surprised to see you during a court. I was expecting you tomorrow for our weekly tea.”
“You-Your Highness,” he stammered, “I need to see your- Princess Luna- in private!”
“You seemed troubled my little pony, is everything okay?”
“Yes! Of course! Why shouldn’t I be okay?”
“Because you’ve never really been able to properly lie to me Fancy,” she mocked. “But I guess I’ll let my sister deal with your… problem?”
“Yes -sorry- thank you!”
“Follow me,” she giggled.
After crossing a small hallway, Celestia knocked on a door “Sister, dear! Mister Fancy Pants would like to see you.”
“He may enter,” answered a voice beyond the door.
Celestia opened the door and Fancy Pants entered alone in what looked like a private art room and saw The Princess of the Night painting.
“Give a minute to finish this,” said Luna.
Fancy Pants watched her being enthralled by her work. The paintbrush was held still until Luna focused her magic and made him -it!- dance on the canvas in swift and precise motions. He forgot all his anxiety for a moment, recognising and admiring the work of a master of her art.
“So Mister Fancy Pants,” - she turned her head towards her guest after giving a last stroke of brush - “What can I do for you ?”
“It’s hum… about yesterday night, regarding the masked ball.”
“Yes?” she said cocking her head.
“I- I wanted to apologise for my behavior,” he said bowing. “It was unworthy of me to act like I did. If I knew, you can be sure that I wouldn’t have dared to even think about doing it.”
“Doing what?”
He ventured on looking at his monarch but Luna’s face was unreadable. “Well, you know, the waltz and w-what has followed…”
“Mister Fancy Pants, I may have a lot of patience but not as much as my sister,” she firmly said. “So tell me what troubles you this instant before I consider sending you off.”
“Yes your Highness!” he exclaimed lowering again his head low to the ground. “I didn’t mean to waste your time.”
She kept silent and Fancy Pants felt the urge of his situation. He wasn’t sure anymore if she was the one but he felt keeping the princess waiting would have consequences at least as dire as if he had very well insulted her.
“I was at the masked ball you had organized yesterday and, if I have to be honest, I wasn’t enjoying the party. I was lost, not knowing what I should do or how I should behave. Until you talked to me.”
“I talked to you?” she asked.
“Well, I’m almost certain it was you. And after a moment, things went a little further-”
“Let me stop you right now. Whatever ponies have done yesterday belongs to nopony.”
“What do you mean?” he asked.
Luna let out a small laugh. “Oh Fancy Pants, you still don’t get the point of a masked ball, do you? Nopony takes part in a masked ball.”
“Far from me the idea to be disrespectful Your Highness but I’m pretty sure there were many ponies yesterday.”
Luna’s laugh became stronger. “You entertain me Fancy Pants and here I thought about disposing of you.”
“I’m pleased to know that you find the situation amusing but I must say I don’t think I’m feeling comfortable to end up a laughing stock,” he said.
“It wouldn’t be so if you at least tried to understand,” replied a smiling Luna. “Tell me Mister Pants, what did you do last night?”
“I was at this masked ball-” started Fancy Pants before being cut off by the princess.
“You weren’t.”
Fancy Pants stared dumbfounded at one of the most powerful ponies in Equestria who seemed to take great delight in misleading him.
“Wh-What?” he stammered.
Luna looked at him right into his eyes, her smile drifting from a welcoming one to a disturbing one. The fact that she was coming closer to him didn’t help him to feel comfortable.
“My sister speaks highly of you and your intelligence,” -her face was now barely an inch away from his- “ and yet, it seems you’re having some difficulties to understand that simple sentence. Nopony takes part in a masked ball.”
“O-Okay.”
Even if he had tried, Fancy Pants would had not been able to avert his eyes from hers. Fortunately for him, she went back before her painting, easing Fancy Pants’ discomfort.
“But since the meaning of my words is avoiding you, let’s say you, Fancy Pants, went to this masked ball.” She looked away from her canva and locked her eyes with him once more. “I suppose you were dressed as required?”
“Of course Your Highness.”
“This way, you became nopony. You need to understand the garment one wears in a masked ball makes them anonymous. It creates a new identity for a short time, one that isn’t tied to any rule or social convention.”
“So the pony I’ve kissed was... nopony?”
“Exactly, you have nothing to fear. The veil of anonymity will hide whatever were your actions.”
“Well that’s a relief. I apologize for wasting your time, I should have known better. I’ll leave you now your Highness.” Fancy Pants bowed once more before leaving the room, a bit thrown by the ease with which his situation had been resolved.
Luna watched him leave and focused her attention back to her painting once she was alone. She heard her sister entering behind her a few minutes later. Celestia came to her side and looked at the painting.
“It still feels a little naive,” she commented. “Do you plan to keep on working on it?”
“I’m not sure, I didn’t think that far. Maybe with a little more time...” she replied.
“What are you gonna do with it then? Do you intend to expose it or keep it private?” asked her sister. "I hope you're aware there are harsh critics in Canterlot."
Luna gazed absent-mindedly at her work, the figure of a pony outlined behind a silken curtain, a hoof raised to pull the veil aside. She smiled broadly and turned her head towards her sister. “I don’t know yet, only time will tell.”
Author's Note
A big shout-out to all the guys and girls in the WriteOff Dicord chat. Thank you for putting up with my stupid questions, my horrible puns and my boring ramblings. Big love.
Another round of thanks to horizon and FanOfMostEverything whose wish of seeing this story extended filled me with motivation, to Astrarian and Xepher for their suggestions and Posh who won the award of best comment.
And as for you reader, I hope you had fun with this silly story.
