The Princess Infestation

by PonyThunder

Rating: everyone
Tags: Princess Celestia, Slice of Life, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Princess Luna, Spike, Comedy, Starlight Glimmer, Twilight Sparkle
Length: 4229

Canterlot Castle is being remodeled, Princess Luna and Princess Celestia are relocating to Twilight's, and Spike and Starlight are feeling relegated into second-tier guests at la casa de Twilight. How many princesses can one castle withstand?

Canterlot Castle is being remodeled, Princess Luna and Princess Celestia are relocating to Twilight's, and Spike and Starlight are feeling relegated into second-tier guests at la casa de Twilight. How many princesses can one castle withstand?

Published 2018-07-01 04:00:06 UTC
Last updated 2018-09-30 17:06:56 UTC

Chapter 1 - New Roommates

The ground shook and vibrated, shaking Canterlot castle to its foundation as the walls and ceilings crumbled away, leaving an aftermath of dust and rubble in room after room after room.

Princess Celestia and Princess Luna sat beside an ornate table in the dining room of their castle in Canterlot. The sounds of jackhammers, ponies shouting, and several other indistinct construction sounds echoed and reverberated off the walls in every direction. Somehow, the air was permeated with near constant noise. So much noise in fact, that the princesses' dinner conversation had become more of a dinner shouting match.

"I think this isn't going to work!" Luna shouted. Celestia was a mere hoofstep or two away from her. "This remodeling is simply much too loud!"

Celestia took a sip of her soup, which was actually splashing from the incessant vibrations. She could barely even hear her, but replied with what she thought she heard. "You think I'm a jerk? How could you say that?"

Luna replied back, in similar fashion. "No, I don't need a perk! I had a cup of coffee earlier!"

The sounds of construction continued to saturate the air as worker ponies began shuffling to another area inside the castle. It had been far too long since it had been remodeled, and so it had been decided that the remodeling would simply have to take place during normal waking hours. Unfortunately, due to the sheer size of their castle, this was day eight of an approximately scheduled twenty. But everypony knew it would probably end up taking at least three times that long, as that seemed to just be the ways things operated when it came to public works projects.

Celestia managed to speak during a rare moment of silence, but her voice still rang loud and true. "I can't hear you! We should just relocate to Twilight's!"

The sounds of construction dropped dead in silence as her voice filled that entire wing of the castle.

"Are you sure?" Luna replied. "Besides, is that allowed?"

Luna's question referred to a law that stipulated all princesses must only take residence in what could be defined as a castle. It was an old law, but was upheld as tradition nonetheless.

Celestia pondered for a moment. "Of course, she's a princess too, is she not? There's no rule about how many princesses can live in one castle is there?"

"I suppose not," Luna replied and stared at her food. The peas on her plate were bouncing up and down, being flung in every direction as somepony in the room above began their work chiseling away at the floors.

"I shall make preparations soon," Celestia replied.

Luna set down her vibrating spoon. "Then it's settled. We shall take up temporary residence at Twilight's castle. Let us leave post-haste, and rid ourselves of this incessant noise!"

"...Could we finish eating first?" Celestia asked meekly, prodding at a slice of cake with her silver fork.

Luna nodded in approval. "Yes, that would be acceptable. Tomorrow morning, perhaps?"

The sun rose on the next morning over Ponyville, which Celestia had accomplished as an afterthought during their early morning travels from Canterlot. Some ponies would get a few minutes extra sleep this day. Arriving at the Twilight's castle only slightly after dawn, Celestia knocked three times on the door.

The muffled, tired voice of Twilight answered from inside after several seconds. "Who is it?"

"It is us," Luna replied to her through the door.

They heard an audible gasp through the door before it opened, revealing Twilight to them, eyes beaming and a wide smile spread across her face. "Princess Celestia! Princess Luna! What brings you to Ponyville?"

"Our castle is being remodeled." Luna walked slowly inside past Twilight.

Celestia continued. "And we need a place to stay for a couple of weeks until it's finished. We were...hoping you might have some space to spare."

Twilight's eyes widened as she attempted to process the information that Celestia had just given to her. "A...couple weeks?"

"Yes, unfortunately so," said Luna. "Those construction ponies take far too long to get the job done, so we apologize for any inconvenience--"

"That's fantastic!" She exclaimed with glee. The Princesses' misfortune was Twilight's most exciting opportunity, although she made a mental note not to disclose that to anypony. The thought of having both princesses as guests within her residence for such a long time was almost too much excitement for her to handle. Already, she was planning breakfasts, brunches, lunches and dinners they would have together.

In the next few moments, she felt the urge to jump up and down and hug them both, but she managed to contain herself and only do the latter, wrapping her hooves and wings around the two princesses, pulling them around her in a tight embrace while sandwiching herself in between them. "Oh, I'd be glad to have you as guests for as long as you need!"

At that moment, Spike and Starlight Glimmer meandered to the front door. Spike had a toothbrush in claw and Starlight's mane was messy and unkempt.

Starlight yawned. "Twilight, what's with all the noise--" She gasped when she saw the two princesses standing in the doorway. "Princess Celestia and Luna! Oh! I didn't know you were here, I uh..." She frantically tried to straighten her mane in an effort to appear presentable.

Spike continued brushing his teeth while talking, taking a momentary pause to greet them. "What's up?"

Spikes utter nonchalance caused Starlight to cock her head at him in confusion. She still had some getting used to when it came to how often Twilight and her friends were around royalty.

Twilight explained the situation. "Starlight, Spike, the princesses will be staying with us here in the castle for a few weeks due to a remodeling at their castle. Can you show them to our guest rooms?"

Spike stopped brushing and replied, his voice muffled with toothpaste. "Uhhhh, we don't have any empty guest rooms."

"What?" She replied, stifling a nervous twitch with a smile. "Surely we have a couple vacancies?"

"Yeah," replied Starlight. "A couple is right. Spike's room and mine."

"Oh..." Twilight pondered frantically for a moment, worrying that the princesses would seek residence elsewhere. All the other guest rooms were being used for overflow storage, being that she had become a bit of a hoarder of books that even her extensive library wasn't enough to contain them. "Um...you can just each take up residence with Spike and Starlight!"

Spike and Starlight stared awkwardly at each other, until Spike spoke up. "What about you, Twilight?"

Twilight did love the idea of sharing a room with Celestia, but at the moment it was a complete and utter mess due to a massive reorganization effort, which was ironic, as her compulsion for organization and tidiness usually left her room in the complete opposite state. She kicked herself mentally for the unfortunate timing. "Well, I could but--"

"I will be staying with the dragon," Luna declared unexpectedly. Spikes eyes widened with worry.

"And I suppose that leaves me with you, Starlight. I shall enjoy getting to know my pupil's pupil," Celestia smiled.

"Like a grand-pupil?" Spike said, expecting a laugh but receiving none whatsoever, and then wishing Pinkie Pie had been there to laugh at his joke.

Starlight hadn't noticed the joke however. Having the ruler of her nation as a roommate made her extremely worried, especially considering her own past experience in leadership wasn't exactly exemplary.

Starlight was rapidly trying to figure out how she was going to share her living space with a ruler of Equestria for a few weeks as they trotted down the crystalline halls to her bedroom. There wasn't even an extra bed. Starlight had a million questions buzzing in her mind. Do I offer my bed to her? Do we share? No, that can't be right...

She opened the door to her bedroom and walked inside followed by Celestia and stared at the empty bed, just knowing Celestia was thinking the same thing. So she panicked and did what she thought was the proper way to treat royalty.

"You can have the bed, I'll just...sleep over here!" Starlight pointed, with a slightly shaking hoof, towards the area of her room with a pile of dirty laundry heaped in the corner.

"Oh, nonsense, we can simply share!" Celestia replied pleasantly, apparently unaware of any sort of potential awkwardness.

Starlight looked back at the small, thin bed in the center of the room, mentally estimating that Celestia's wingspan alone could probably span three of them. She was getting the impression that Celestia had no awareness of personal boundaries, literal and figuratively. "Oh...okay, thanks" She smiled awkwardly again. Celestia brought in several bags with her magic, stacking them neatly against the wall opposite from Starlight's heap of disorganized junk.

"This is so exciting," said Celestia, "I've never had a roommate before! We can gossip, talk for hours into the nights, have pillow fights, talk about love interests..."

Starlight was starting to feel eyestrain from how much her eyes were widening with worry. "You and Luna don't share? Aren't you sisters?"

"Oh, believe me, she's not exactly somepony you want to share a room with..."

In Spike's room, Luna tossed her bags onto the bed immediately and flopped onto the mattress without a care in the world. Being the Princess of the Night, ponies often forgot that her day was their night and vice versa, and traversing through the dreams of ponies in her sleep wasn't exactly restful. She often required several naps throughout the day, and traveling to Ponyville had robbed her of one of them.

Spike had walked in beside her and watched Luna claim his bed as her own. He had only barely raised his claw in protest before Luna was asleep on his mattress, beneath his blanket, and drooling on his pillow. Spike sighed and pulled out a small basket from beneath the bed that he had slept in previously, setting it at the foot of what was now obviously Luna's bed. As he began to leave the room and close the door, he heard loud snoring and sighed again, hoping the next few weeks would go by as fast as possible.

After getting their rooms situated, they all headed towards the kitchen, where Twilight was frantically preparing a three course breakfast fit for royalty.

Spike arrived early. "Um...Twilight? Isn't this a bit...much?" He pointed to a stack of pancakes that was at least twice as tall as him.

Her reply hit him like a trainwreck. "Four ponies and one dragon, assuming four to five pancakes per pony and your usual six, plus another five or twelve to ensure there's enough for everypony. And then factoring in that they've been traveling and are likely more hungry than usual, so add a few more for good measure. Celestia prefers tea with her breakfast, Luna prefers coffee. Black. No, with sugar. No, milk and sugar, obviously. Earl grey tea, hot. Warm. Luke-warm. No, hot. Celestia prefers her tea near-scalding hot. Toast, buttered. Eggs, over-easy. No, SCRAMBLED! AGH!"

Twilight had a lapse in concentration and dropped a few plates that she had been magically levitating. "Spike, can you clean those up? I need to butter the eggs and scramble the toast..."

He looked at her with a raised eyebrow.

"You know what I mean."

Spike sighed and picked up a broom to begin sweeping. "Don't you think you're over-doing it?"

"Spike, I know how to cook an egg."

He smacked his forehead. "No, I mean trying to impress the princesses..."

"I'm not trying to impress anypony, I'm just...making sure everything is perfect," she replied while meticulously buttering a piece of toast, eyes intensely fixated inches away from it.

Spike waved his claw dismissively. "Yeah, right. Like that ever caused any problems..."

Minutes later, Twilight had prepared a lavish breakfast for everypony, complete with thirty-nine pancakes, tea, coffee, buttered toast, eggs of various varieties, and silverware neatly laid out on the table. Her guests and Starlight meandered into the kitchen to sit down. Luna groggily slumped in her chair, bending her head down to stick her snout into the coffee cup that had been set out for her.

"My, this looks lovely," said Celestia, admiring the breakfast Twilight had prepared for them. She sat down and took a sip of the tea Twilight had prepared for her. "Oh, do you have any green tea? I much prefer that flavor."

Twilight had a look of utter devastation on her face for a fraction of a second, but quickly put on a perfect smile, overly eager to make sure the princesses were completely at home, and prepared her another one. "Here you go," she said, placing it in front of her.

Twilight threw out the cup of earl grey as Starlight quietly raised her hoof. "Actually, I really like Earl Grey."

"So Princess Celestia," said Twilight without hearing Starlight, "I have several possible day plans available whenever you have the time to run through them. A walk through Ponyville, a tour of Cloudsdale, a visit to--"

Celestia interrupted her. "Oh, I'm terribly sorry but we won't have time for much else than our usual duties."

"Usual...duties?"

"Oh yes, we put out a notice to everypony in Canterlot that they should come here for any questions, concerns or complaints. The job of a princess is to always be available, no matter how inconvenient."

Twilight's smile deflated.

Meanwhile, Spike and Starlight felt a ray of hope cast down upon them, realizing that perhaps this whole ordeal wouldn't be quite as bad as they had originally thought.

"But we will have time in the evenings," said Luna. She'd already completely drank her coffee, and the sudden difference in her mood was quite noticeable.

Twilight breathed a sigh of relief, realizing that at least her evening-related plans wouldn't be completely pointless. After a few minutes of silent eating, the doorbell rang unexpectedly.

"I'll get it," said Twilight. "Just give me a--"

The door opened up anyway, and a crowd of ponies and creatures of all sizes streamed into her foyer like a river, quickly filling it and overflowing into the adjacent rooms, all of them talking and bickering with one another.

"Excuse me!" Twilight exclaimed. The crowd went silent for a brief moment before completely ignoring her.

Celestia came up behind her, offering a glance of sincere apology before addressing the crowd. She placed her hooves firmly into the ground and used her Royal Canterlot voice. "Attention, everypony! All questions, complaints and queries will be addressed in the library, so please form an orderly queue in that general direction."

Paying somewhat more attention to Celestia, the crowd formed what could possibly have been considered a queue into the library, if one squinted at least.

Twilight looked downward with dismay as Celestia quickly trotted into the library to begin her day's work. Spike came up behind her and patted her halfway up her leg, which was as high as he could reach. "Hey now, it'll be alright."

"...I know...I just...got my hopes up I guess."

"Well," Spike said with as much sincerity as he could muster, "at least you'll have some time this evening to spend with each other."

"Thanks, Spike. I appreciate that."

Later that afternoon, when the queue had been about halfway gone, the doorbell rang once more and Twilight went to answer it. She'd spent most of her morning trying to research, but to no avail since all she could hear were the incessant sounds of bickering ponies and echoes of hooves clopping against her crystalline floors. However, when she opened the door, a surprise was waiting for her.

"Twily!"

"...Shining Armor?" Twilight asked in puzzled excitement. She opened the door fully, only to reveal two more unexpected guests. "Princess Cadence? Flurry Heart? What are you doing here?"

"Well, it's a long story...but can we crash here for a few days?"

Chapter 2 - Nighttime

Twilight's eye twitched for a moment as she mentally assessed the situation. Her castle was already packed to the brim with books, guests, and what seemed like half the population of Equestria. Now she was being asked to accommodate even more. "You...you need a place to stay?"

"Well, not me, exactly..." Shining Armor said sheepishly.

Cadence rolled her eyes. "Shining Armor is attending a ceremony in the Changeling Kingdom."

"Invited to attend, as a royal guard," he corrected her, receiving a slight glare in response. Twilight eyed them both, confused. "King Thorax wants a mixture of both changeling and equestrian security to emphasize the peace between our lands."

"And," Cadence interjected, "since Flurry Heart is a bit...much...to manage, I was hoping that her Auntie Twilight Sparkle would be okay if she and I visited for awhile...while Shining Armor is away at the party."

"We were hoping," Shining Armor added, this time receiving a more obvious glare. He'd omitted the fact that he'd also been invited to a party that would follow the ceremony, which had been a point of contention between them prior.

Twilight's mind ran through logistics while the two of them shot subtle glares at each other, calculating how much space she could allocate by shifting everything around, but ultimately came to the conclusion that she would have to undo a whole week's worth of organization to clear out enough space for Cadence and Flurry Heart to stay in. She sighed, wondering if her books and research supplies were somehow multiplying when she wasn't watching. On any other day, she'd have welcomed them with open hooves, but today all she could muster was a "Sure, come on in."

"Thanks, Twily," said Shining Armor as Cadence walked inside with Flurry Heart, who was waving back at him.

Cadence chose not to turn around as they said their goodbyes, instead opting to have Shining Armor say goodbye to her flank as the door abruptly closed shut behind her. Twilight noticed and sighed internally, somehow knowing that she wouldn't be able to spend time with Celestia or Luna anytime soon.

"Can you take care of Flurry Heart for a while?"

Twenty minutes. Twilight mentally noted the time it had taken for her evening to be booked with obligations. Although, moments after that thought, she felt terrible of herself for daring to have a negative outlook about spending time with her favorite niece. Time with the princesses could wait. "I'd love to!"

Flurry Heart threw her hooves up and babbled gleefully as Cadence gave her to Twilight. "Thank you so much, Twilight. Is it all right if I stay in a separate room? She's been keeping me up every night for several moons now."

"Well actually," Twilight paused to figure out where she and Flurry Heart could stay, "you can...stay in...my room."

"Oh? Are you sure? I wouldn't wan't to impose. Any room will do."

"It's no big deal, I can just sleep in the library...I like the smell of books anyway."

Cadence gave her an odd look, then a nod of acceptance. It was believable. "You don't have any other available rooms?"

"The thing about that, actually..."

Just then, Princess Celestia and Luna came from around the corner. Cadence gasped. "What are you two doing here?"

Twilight cringed. Even though they were technically on the same level, somehow it felt wrong to speak to the princesses so casually.

Neither of them seemed to mind though, and Celestia answered. "Our castle is being remodeled. Is yours as well?"

Cadence took several confused moments to process that response. "No, I'm just here while Shining Armor is in the Changeling Kingdom."

"Ah yes, the peace ceremony," Luna replied. "To emphasize the peace between our lands."

Cadence still seemed annoyed at Shining Armor. "Yes. That."

Twilight was growing nervous. She was hosting the princesses in her own home, her sister-in-law was steaming with anger, and she had a baby alicorn to attend to. She decided it was time to take action to avoid any possible problems. "Anyway, let me show you to my...your room."

Twilight escorted Cadence into a nearby hallway to bring her to her room, still doing logistics in the back of her mind in order to figure out where she'd be sleeping that night.

It was nighttime. Normally at this point, Spike would have been reading a comic book under a dim light in his room while snacking on some crystals. Tonight however, he had been relegated to a small basket at the edge of his bed while Princess Luna lay atop it, snoring. Instead of actually sleeping normally, however, she was spending the night entering the dreams of ponies all throughout the land, occasionally murmuring a few words. Loudly.

"DON'T BE AFRAID, LITTLE ONE."

Spike jolted upward in surprise, looking around like someone had broken into his room. He rubbed his eyes and tried to get his bearings. Luna was silently resting atop his bed, and after a solid minute of allowing his heart to calm down, he closed his eyes and began to drift back to sleep. The peaceful sounds of the night permeated the air for a few blissful seconds or so.

"HAVE NO FEAR!"

Spike screamed and fell out of his basket, looking up at Luna with a look of both terror and annoyance. Mostly terror. She was breathing softly and shifted around slightly for a few moments before going back to snoring, unconsciously grabbing a pillow for support. He stared blankly for several more seconds, too tired to think, and began to crawl back into his basket when once more, Luna had an outburst.

"YOU MUST NOT GIVE IN TO DESPAIR!"

The pillow launched outward off the bed and hit him in the face. Bewildered and confused, Spike tried to plug his ears in time but failed miserably.

"FOR IT WILL GROW INSIDE AND BECOME STRONGER!"

He curled himself into the fetal position, claws wrapped around his head.

"HEED MY ADVICE, LITTLE ONE, AND YOU WILL LEARN TO CONQUER YOUR FEARS!"

Spike curled into himself even tighter, shedding a small, wet tear over the thought that he would absolutely not be getting any sleep for the next several hours.

Starlight lay on the bed with eyes wide open, hooves clutched over the blanket, staring blankly up at the ceiling in the dark.

Uncomfortably close beside her was the almighty princess of Equestria sleeping soundly, her royal chest rising and falling slowly with every graceful, majestic breath. Starlight shifted silently and carefully as possible in the opposite direction, towards the end of the narrow bed she was sharing with the princess. She was practically falling off the side, holding onto the blanket just to stay on, and had thought about sleeping on the floor several times, but seeing as how adamant the princess was about having a sleepover together, she thought it best to go along.

Celestia stirred for a moment, blowing air out of her nostrils. Starlight looked over, terrified, and ended up with a breath being blown into her face. Surprisingly, and perhaps not so surprisingly, it smelled like sunshine. She didn't know what to think of that thought, so she chose to ignore it and turn back the other way to attempt to go to sleep once again.

Moments later, however, she felt a warm and soft presence engulf her backside. Her eyes opened once more, staring blankly in the opposite direction. She quickly shifted forward and further onto the edge of the bed in an attempt to escape the encroaching warmth, but there was no use. As soon as she tried to get away, a magnificent white wing swooped through the nighttime air and swiftly curled over her entire body, pulling her inward. The warmth and sunshine engulfed her like a warm wave pulling her out to sea, the grip around her tightening slightly as the princess unconsciously shifted to get more comfortable.

Celestia cooed softly in her sleep.

Starlight wasn't sure what to think anymore. The ruler of her nation was holding her tightly against her chest, making her unable to escape. That is, unless she wanted to wake the princess up, which was the last thing she wanted to happen. Instead, after several moments of panic, she had a thought that confused her.

This is kind of nice.

Immediately after, she began trying to squirm her way out of the alicorn's surprisingly strong grip.

Celestia murmured something in her sleep. "...equus. What a...fascinating..."

Starlight's eyes widened, and she stopped squirming.

"...think that we...together..."

She struggled once more to escape, but the wing pulled her in tighter, almost suffocating her.

"...don't leave me..." Celestia murmured softly. Her voice almost seemed distraught.

Starlight stopped immediately, freezing in place. The wing that kept her pinned against the alicorn's chest slowly pulled her back in tightly. She felt a soft sensation on the back of her head, quickly realizing that Celestia was nuzzling her.

"...mmm......Discord..."

Starlight audibly gasped, loud enough to wake Celestia. Suddenly, she was released from the grip of her wing and immediately tried to pretend to be asleep. Celestia shifted the other way and attempted to do the same.

Several minutes passed.

Celestia whispered softly, faced in the opposite direction. "If you heard any of that...please don't tell anypony..."

Starlight had no intention whatsoever.